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Post by Mizagium on Feb 16, 2011 18:34:16 GMT -5
don't forget the anal probing
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Post by TEAM_DERRICK on Feb 16, 2011 21:15:31 GMT -5
Seeds of Destiny: Prologue 2016 March 19Ali Sabieh, Djibouti3:24 PMMahdi craned his neck to see over the crowd. Everyone in town had come to see just what was going on. Mahdi had heard all sorts of stories about the foreign stranger who had suddenly appeared in town. Some told tales of superhuman abilities! Others said that he had turned the barren ground around them fertile and lush. A few had even linked him to the being seen in the sky a few months ago. Mahdi wouldn't have to stretch his neck for much longer, for out from the middle of the crowd, he arose! He was levitating. Everyone in the crowd found themselves gasping. Mahdi's jaw nearly dropped to the ground. He was dressed in simple robes, but underneath was something Mahdi couldn't quite place. A wet suit perhaps? Regardless, the next thing he noticed was the stranger's age. He was a boy. Perhaps no older than Mahdi himself. His hair was covered by a hood, but his eyes... They were blood red. "People of Ali Sabieh, I have come to guide you!" the stranger's voice echoed throughout the crowd. He had not raised his voice, yet all could hear him. "I have been sent here to ensure the coming of the New Kingdom!" "Who has sent you?" someone ahead of Mahdi spoke out. Indeed, just who was this guy? The stranger smiled and responded with almost comical straight forwardness. "I have been sent by God." The crowd erupted into jeers and cries of blasphemy. Who was this? How could he say such a thing? Someone else spoke out, "You are from God? You'll have to do better than that little flying trick to convince us!" The crowd murmured in agreement. "How do we not know that you are not of Iblis?" same man offered, the crowd edged him forward towards the strange boy. Mahdi could now see that he was an imam. "Fine. I will show you." Fierce beams of light shone upon the man. He fell to his knees, his eyes watering. Soon, cries issued from his mouth. Strangely enough, they were cries of joy. Soon the light ceased to flow and the man stood up. "Everyone," he shouted, "A messiah has come!" The mass of people didn't know what to take from this revelation. Most were still unconvinced. Others seemed to be panicking. But once again, the youth spoke, "Come, let all come and see!" Light burst forth in every direction. Mahdi tried to cover his eyes, but the light seemed to snake its way into his eyelids. He was surrounded by darkness. Endless nothing in all directions, save one. In front of him was his mother. "Ummi?" It was impossible. She had died in the wars following Second Impact. Yet, here she was. "Mahdi! It is good to see you again," her voice sounded just like he remembered it. He ran to her and they embraced for all they were worth. They stood there for what seemed like hours. "Mahdi," she broke the silence, "We do not have much time." "What do you mean?" "He has come to free us," she smiled as she said this. "But he speaks blasphemy! He cannot be what he says he is!" "My child," she hugged him closer, "We have perverted the Ways of God to the point that no faith is true. This time, God intends to give us a final message." "What are you saying?" Mahdi's head was spinning. First he gets to see his mother again after all these years and now she's telling him to forsake his faith? "He has come to free us from our oppressors. He will create a world where people will no longer be sorted by faith, race, or wealth. He has come to create a New Kingdom." Mahdi looked into her eyes. "Is this true?" "My son, how else would I be here? Now go to him, he awaits. He has plans for you." And then, Mahdi found himself among the crowd again. Everyone was reeling from shock. He was not the only one who had just had a life changing experience. Mahdi found himself to be the first one to speak. "Tell me! What is your name?" he shouted to the boy. "I have come from the Great Mother of all Creation. I have come from the masses of humanity to lead you. God hath shown herself in the sky many months ago! She blessed me with her holy light and now I am as her! I am the Final Avatar! The Final Bodhisattva, the Maitreya! I am the Messiah of all peoples! I am Shinji Ikari and I have great plans for you, Madhi!" - k That's the first section of the prologue. Feel free to butcher it. |
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Post by Mizagium on Feb 16, 2011 21:17:29 GMT -5
o lawdy
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Post by TEAM_DERRICK on Feb 16, 2011 21:18:57 GMT -5
I need more than that son!
But yeah, we're only like 1/10th of the way done with the prologue.
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Post by Mizagium on Feb 16, 2011 21:25:38 GMT -5
2016 March 19 Shinji got right to work, didn't he?
Ali Sabieh, Djibouti
3:24 PM
Mahdi How come I keep thinking of Ma-Ti?craned his neck to see over the crowd. Everyone in town had come to see just what was going on. Mahdi had heard all sorts of stories about the foreign stranger who had suddenly appeared in town. Some told tales of superhuman abilities! Others said that he had turned the barren ground around them fertile and lush. A few had even linked him to the being seen in the sky a few months ago. Praise White Jesus!
Mahdi wouldn't have to stretch his neck for much longer, for out from the middle of the crowd, he arose! He was levitating. Everyone in the crowd found themselves gasping. Mahdi's jaw nearly dropped to the ground.
He was dressed in simple robes, but underneath was something Mahdi couldn't quite place. A wet suit perhaps? Regardless, the next thing he noticed was the stranger's age. He was a boy. Perhaps no older than Mahdi himself. His hair was covered by a hood, but his eyes... They were blood red.
"People of Ali Sabieh, I have come to guide you!" the stranger's voice echoed throughout the crowd. He had not raised his voice, yet all could hear him.
"I have been sent here to ensure the coming of the New Kingdom!"
"Who has sent you?" someone ahead of Mahdi spoke out. Indeed, just who was this guy?
The stranger smiled and responded with almost comical straight forwardness. "I have been sent by God."
The crowd erupted into jeers and cries of blasphemy. Who was this? How could he say such a thing? He fucking flew, that's how.
Someone else spoke out, "You are from God? You'll have to do better than that little flying trick to convince us!" The crowd murmured in agreement. Really? Quite the skeptical bunch.
"How do we not know that you are not of IblisI actually know what this is without using the Internet?" the same man offered, the crowd edged him forward towards the strange boy. Mahdi could now see that he was an imam.
"Fine. I will show you."
Fierce beams of light shone upon the man. He fell to his knees, his eyes watering. Soon, cries issued from his mouth. Strangely enough, they were cries of joy. Soon the light ceased to flow and the man stood up. lolmindrape
"Everyone," he shouted, "A messiah has come!"
The mass of people didn't know what to take from this revelation. Most were still unconvinced. Fucking WHAT?Others seemed to be panicking.
But once again, the youth spoke, "Come, let all come and see!"
Light burst forth in every direction. Mahdi tried to cover his eyes, but the light seemed to snake its way into his eyelids.
He was surrounded by darkness. Endless nothing in all directions, save one. In front of him was his mother.
"Ummi?" It was impossible. She had died in the wars following Second Impact. Yet, here she was.
"Mahdi! It is good to see you again," her voice sounded just like he remembered it.
He ran to her and they embraced for all they were worth. They stood there for what seemed like hours.
"Mahdi," she broke the silence, "We do not have much time."
"What do you mean?"
"He has come to free us," she smiled as she said this.
"But he speaks blasphemy! He cannot be what he says he is!"
"My child," she hugged him closer, "We have perverted the Ways of God to the point that no faith is true. This time, God intends to give us a final message."
"What are you saying?" Mahdi's head was spinning. First he gets to see his mother again after all these years and now she's telling him to forsake his faith?
"He has come to free us from our oppressors. He will create a world where people will no longer be sorted by faith, race, or wealth. He has come to create a New Kingdom."
Mahdi looked into her eyes. "Is this true?"
"My son, how else would I be here? Now go to him, he awaits. He has plans for you."
And then, Mahdi found himself among the crowd again. Everyone was reeling from shock. He was not the only one who had just had a life changing experience. Mahdi found himself to be the first one to speak.
"Tell me! What is your name?" he shouted to the boy.
"I have come from the Great Mother of all Creation. I have come from the masses of humanity to lead you. God hath shown herself in the sky many months ago! She blessed me with her holy light and now I am as her! I am the Final Avatar! The Final Bodhisattva, the Maitreya! I am the Messiah of all peoples! I am Shinji Ikari and I have great plans for you, Madhi!"
I just...what made Shinji suddenly start speaking like that?
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Post by TEAM_DERRICK on Feb 17, 2011 18:08:20 GMT -5
Seeds of Destiny 2016 March 19Ali Sabieh, Djibouti3:24 PMMahdi craned his neck to see over the crowd. Everyone in town had come to see just what was going on. Mahdi had heard all sorts of stories about the foreign stranger who had suddenly appeared in town. Some told tales of superhuman abilities! Others said that he had turned the barren ground around them fertile and lush. A few had even linked him to the being seen in the sky a few months ago. Mahdi wouldn't have to stretch his neck for much longer, for out from the middle of the crowd, he arose! He was levitating. Everyone in the crowd found themselves gasping. Mahdi's jaw nearly dropped to the ground. He was dressed in simple robes, but underneath was something Mahdi couldn't quite place. A wet suit perhaps? Regardless, the next thing he noticed was the stranger's age. He was a boy. Perhaps no older than Mahdi himself. His hair was covered by a hood, but his eyes... They were blood red. "People of Ali Sabieh, I have come to guide you!" the stranger's voice echoed throughout the crowd. He had not raised his voice, yet all could hear him. "I have been sent here to ensure the coming of the New Kingdom!" "Who has sent you?" someone ahead of Mahdi spoke out. Indeed, just who was this guy? The stranger smiled and responded with almost comical straight forwardness. "I have been sent by God." The crowd erupted into jeers and cries of blasphemy. Who was this? How could he say such a thing? Of course, Mahdi had never seen a man fly... Someone else spoke out, "You are from God? How do we know that you are not of Iblis?" some man offered, the crowd edged him forward towards the strange boy. Mahdi could now see that he was an imam. "Fine. I will show you." Fierce beams of light shone upon the man. He fell to his knees, his eyes watering. Soon, cries issued from his mouth. Strangely enough, they were cries of joy. Soon the light ceased to flow and the man stood up. "Everyone," he shouted, "A messiah has come!" The mass of people didn't know what to take from this revelation. The imam himself had confirmed the boy's claim. The crowd seemed to be in shock. But once again, the youth spoke, "I can tell that you are all still uneasy. Come, let all come and see!" Light burst forth in every direction from the boy. Mahdi tried to cover his eyes, but the light seemed to snake its way into his eyelids. He was surrounded by darkness. Endless nothing in all directions, save one. In front of him was his mother. "Ummi?" It was impossible. She had died in the wars following Second Impact. Yet, here she was. "Mahdi! It is good to see you again," her voice sounded just like he remembered it. He ran to her and they embraced for all they were worth. They stood there for what seemed like hours. "Mahdi," she broke the silence, "We do not have much time." "What do you mean?" "He has come to free us," she smiled as she said this. "But how can he be what he says to be? How can we trust him? He says he's a prophet! That can't be true!" "My child," she hugged him closer, "We have perverted the Ways of God to the point that no faith is true. This time, God intends to give us a final message." "What are you saying?" Mahdi's head was spinning. First he gets to see his mother again after all these years and now she's telling him to forsake his faith?It was all too much. "He has come to free us from our oppressors. He will create a world where people will no longer be sorted by faith, race, or wealth. He has come to create a New Kingdom." Mahdi looked into her eyes. "Is this true?" "My son, how else would I be here? Now go to him, he awaits. He has plans for you." And then, Mahdi found himself among the crowd again. Everyone was reeling from shock. He was not the only one who had just had a life changing experience. Mahdi found himself to be the first one to speak. "Tell me! What is your name?" he shouted to the boy. "I have come from the Great Mother of all Creation. I have come from the masses of humanity to lead you. God hath shown herself in the sky many months ago! She blessed me with her holy light and now I am as her! I am the Final Avatar! The Final Bodhisattva, the Maitreya! I am the Messiah of all peoples! I am Shinji Ikari and I have great plans for you, Madhi!" |
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Post by Myrdraxxis on Feb 17, 2011 22:02:18 GMT -5
if I might offer my opinion *ahem*
It's very good. Like all of your work it is very straightforward and to the point. I think maybe adding a bit more descriptive detail (not a lot, just some) would give the scene a bigger impact.
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Post by Mizagium on Feb 17, 2011 22:28:59 GMT -5
a bigger impact than Shinji being the Messiah? What? You want a FOURTH Impact? I mean seriously... Also Like all of your work it is very straightforward and to the point. Thank you for describing Derrick's style in a way I could not. I've been searching for those words for a long time. |
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Post by Myrdraxxis on Feb 17, 2011 22:34:46 GMT -5
well, what i mean i is that since this is a scene that should have some impact, adding a bit of imagery would make it even more awesome.
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Post by Mizagium on Feb 17, 2011 22:51:38 GMT -5
I understand. It's sort of written the opposite way you or I would do it. Maybe not complete opposite, but close...
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Post by TEAM_DERRICK on Feb 18, 2011 21:47:15 GMT -5
Ok. I'm gonna be gone for a few days, but I'll be jotting out ideas in my notebook to pass the time.
Seraph- After the loss of the physical bodies of Adam and Lilith, true Eva's can no longer be made. Nerv would find itself in a rather ironic position. They had to upgrade. Shinji Ikari is, for all intents and purposes, a dual seed of life containing the essences of both Adam and Lilith. All new artificial humanoids are now cloned from his new genetic base.
Seraphs, as they have been dubbed, are nearly identical to traditional eva's in function and appearance. However, they do not require a soul to be sucked in just to function. Rather, they are given a soul upon "birth". This soul is then matched with a potential pilot and a close bond is shared between them.
Seraphs are very cheap to manufacture and maintain when compared to traditional Evas. One's body is nearly instantly formulated and formed upon contact with LCL. Souls are generated within the deepest recesses of Nerv where the Lance of Longinus has been allowed to form a tree of life. Said souls are placed in LCL and then proceed to make a body out of the surrounding nutrients.
A Seraph's defining difference, though, comes through its own AT field. At a glance, a Seraph's AT field appears rather weak. This is due to their set sync ratios plateauing at 65%-78%. However, when multiple Seraphs join in battle, their AT fields merge. This results in some of the most powerful AT fields ever created.
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Post by Mizagium on Feb 20, 2011 19:32:32 GMT -5
Seraphim - highest order of Angels. fuck yes.
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Post by TEAM_DERRICK on Feb 22, 2011 0:54:14 GMT -5
Ok. I managed to jot down all sorts of shit during my trip to the Bayou.
Expect a super dump tomorrow.
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Post by Mizagium on Feb 22, 2011 21:05:02 GMT -5
Still waiting on the super-dump. rifling through lines of code must be tough, huh?
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Post by TEAM_DERRICK on Feb 22, 2011 21:27:43 GMT -5
STILL GOING!
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Post by Mizagium on Feb 22, 2011 22:56:43 GMT -5
ALL MY LOVE!
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Post by TEAM_DERRICK on Feb 22, 2011 23:36:07 GMT -5
Mahdi had found himself at the edge of a desert. The night sky ensured that the cool air around him calmed his nerves. However, he couldn't remember how he got here. The last thing he remembered... was the stranger in the middle of town!
"Mahdi," a voice called, "Come."
Mahdi thought that his heart would rip itself free of his chest cavity. He spun around to find Shinji Ikari sitting in the cool sand. His face seemed utterly content providing some contrast to Mahdi.
"How did I get here?" Mahdi Sat himself down across from Shinji.
"I wanted to speak to you at this location at this very time and so it came to pass."
He continued to stare at Mahdi. Eventually, it donned on him that he was waiting for him to say something.
"You said you had plans for me?"
"Indeed I do."
"Care to share them?"
Ikari sifted some sand through his fingers. As the grains fell to the ground they began to melt. The molten sand piled on top of itself. Layer by layer, something began to form. A city. The glass cooled and Mahdi was shocked to see that the city came with glass people as well. Moving glass people.
"This is a city no different from any other," said Shinji. He waved his hands over his little villa and the people within it began to function at a faster rate.
"As time moves on, the city grows. As the city grows riches poor out, but those riches only seem to go to a select few."
As he said this, the city enlarged, using the sand around it. On top of the city's tallest building, sat a man of golden glass. As the city grew, so did the man.
"As he collects more riches, the ones working for him grow poorer." Shacks began to emerge on the outskirts of the city.
"Eventually, the people will grow uneasy. But even if they overthrow the man on top, they will only replace this non-functioning system with another."
The city shattered.
"Do you know why this happens Mahdi?"
Mahdi knew the answer before Shinji even finished the question. "Because people are greedy."
"Wrong." Shinji smiled, "It doesn't work because the people on top are greedy. It doesn't work because the people on top only care for themselves."
Shinji stood up and gazed at the sky. The moon illuminated the desolate landscape.
"Imagine if the ones on top didn't, no, couldn't care only about themselves? What if those on top actively helped those on the bottom?"
"But that can't happen," Mahdi stood up as well, "You can't change people."
"Indeed. Luckily, I'm living proof that you're wrong."
Shinji walked over to him and placed his hand upon Mahdi's shoulder. "People deserve more than this. We have the ability to build Heaven and you will be my contractor."
Mahdi stood dumbfounded. "What do you mean by that?"
"You will be my Prophet. The speaker of my divine will. You will carry forth my message across many people."
"And just what is this message?"
Shinji thrust his hands across his body, forming the shape of a cross. "I am Shinji Ikari. And you are my Prophet. I have been sent by God to do Her work upon this blessed Earth. I have come to create a kingdom where everyman can live without needless suffering. A world without turmoil and imbalance. A world without the imperialism of Germany, Japan, America, Russia, or the UN. A world of Solidarity. I am of God and all of humanity are of me."
Shinji lifted himself into the air. "To accomplish your task, I shall grant you a foretaste of my holy power!"
Mahdi's ears exploded as light filled his body. His eyes burned. His skin was on fire. Everything was pain. But then, it stopped. As he opened his eyes, he found a red gem jutting out of his chest.
"You are like me. A small portion of my power runs through you. You will feed the hungry, cleanse the sick and you shall march to Cairo, where you shall preach my name. You are not alone. Hundreds more are like you, working for me, but you are different! Go forth and become the greatest of my Prophets!"
Mahdi found himself full of something he'd never felt before. Meaning. His life had been a series of empty events up until this point. Now, he could feel his purpose. He was going to change the world.
"Your will be done, Lord Ikari!"
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Post by TEAM_DERRICK on Feb 22, 2011 23:36:21 GMT -5
More coming
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Post by Mizagium on Feb 22, 2011 23:42:18 GMT -5
o lawdy
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Post by TEAM_DERRICK on Feb 23, 2011 0:14:37 GMT -5
2016 April 2
Central Dogma, Tokyo III
7:27 AM
Maya Ibuki glanced toward her name tag. She still couldn't believe that she was the new head of Project E. Of course, the Eva program was more or less dead. 'A foundation upon which better things will be built.' That was the other thing that she couldn't believe. That Shinji had become a god.
He sat where his father used to oversee all of Nerv. The room was illuminated by the light cascading off of him. Everything about him was unnatural, yet, she couldn't help but feel somewhat... calm? Finally, he spoke up.
"As we all know, the refitting of Unit 01 is proceeding as planned. What you don't know, however, is that I will no longer be piloting it. We need a replacement and that replacement is the dummy system."
The bridge broke out into waves of murmuring. The memories of what happened to Unit 02 and 03 were fresh on everyone's mind.
"However," Shinji continued, " The old system cannot do. We do not need the knights of our new kingdom to act as if they are no better than savages." He cast his gaze down to Shigeru Aoba. "You will be in charge of reformatting the behavior of the dummy plug. A flash drive containing the parameters of your work can be found on your desk."
Everyone knew what Shinji was going to announce. Maya couldn't help but bet that he was just milking all of this for drama.
"That isn't we shall cover today, for you see, something amazing has taken place. Life that was once lost has been recreated. I need all of you to monitor our Reborn's information. Notify me immediately if anything worrying rear its head."
No one said anything. "Now then, I shall now go and wake her up."
-
And I'm fucking tired. Feel free to red text the shit out of this.
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