Esteros: The Dancing Dragons

[Monika]

"Fret not, my lovestruck, draconic friend!" Sailor Eros held up her hand, signaling for the dragon to be at peace. "The Divine Sapphire Ring of Unity and the Holy Emerald Ring of Matrimony are just a hop, skip, jump and a demon or two away from us! Let's go!" As Sailor Eros led the party toward the location of the rings, they came across their first obstacle: a river of lava. A river of lava about a mile long. Suspended from the ceiling were several ropes that almost looked like they could be used to travel across the lava stream. Almost. Each rope was hanging from the cave roof by a thread, quite literally. A single string separated each rope from a lava-y demise.

"Ha! Lava river, you cannot stand in the way of true love!" Eros shouted, almost as if she expected the lava to answer her. "By the power of love, I call upon you: Love...Destiny...Cruiser!" With a twirl of her Staff of Love! and a few magic words, Sailor Eros had summoned a heart shaped hover board beneath her feet. Within seconds, she floated across the mile long river of molten rock and safely descended to the other side. "Ha ha! The speed of love is a force to be reckoned with! Now you guys try!"

[Calefrun]

"Aha!" the Illusive Squid exclaimed, "Did you really think you could fool me, Lobster? Your companion here has just given away your identity!" Turning towards The Dayman he said between puffs of smoke, "It is a great honor to be recognized by one such as yourself. I wish that I could offer the same courtesy of elaborating on my own name, position, and homeland, however that would regretfully detract from my illusive nature, which is regretfully something I cannot afford right now." With a bow, he turned to face the river of lava. From there he proceeded to shout, "BIDOOF USED FLY!" after which he leaped high into the air and did several front-flips as well as a back-flip before landing beside Sailor Eros.

[Mizagium]

"I am not a damn lobster!" He yelled after the Illusive squid. Jeff pointed an accusing finger at Perish. "Don't encourage the crazy squid man!"

Without waiting for a response, he cracked his fingers and summoned a barrier that he planned on using to cross the lava river. Then he decided that wasn't nearly cool enough, so he molded it to fit his body and dove headfirst into the molten rock. After an initial period of panic, Jeff acclimated to the sensation of not burning alive and proceeded to lazily swim across. When reached the other side, he causally strolled out as if nothing had happened.

The Ridleys flew across.

[blazinvire]

"Why the heck not? We're getting wedding rings for a bunch of dragons we barely met and were attempting to kill not an hour ago," Perish said with a helpless shrug, attempting to justify silliness with unrelated silliness. Surely that made sense.

Now for the river of lava... amongst thinking of various spirits she could conjure that might utilize the lava or perhaps let her fly, part of her just kinda didn't wanna bother taking the time to setup the ritual required.
So she did what any partially sane evil immortal necromancer would do: Simply walk into Mordor across the river of lava!
Granted, she was technically floating as it was one of her inherent evil lich overlord abilities, but lava made for poor ground so it didn't work so well, instead achieving a walking effect, easily keeping pace with Jeff as he swam. This did carry the unfortunate side-effect of immolating Perish while her body madly regenerated and countered with its icy touch, turning her into some freakish burning zombie-skeleton until she reached the other side.
She gave a nice flick of her coat and knocked the residual flames clean off, her body quickly regenerating afterward and she resumed walking beside Jeff in much the same nothing-had-happened demeanor.
This is all perfectly normal, what is wrong with you?

[Damien]

Trosdan walked up to the edge of the lava, watching as people started swimming in it, walking on it, and floating/flying over it.

Really, now? he thought to himself, perplexed. What could these people be doing here? The time came to speak as people were arriving on his side of the lake of lava.

"What are you people doing here?" he asked. "It's very dangerous here. You could very well burn alive. And what are these dragon thingies doing here? They're disrupting the balance of this place with their presence."

[Myrdraxxis]

"To be honest, I've been expecting us to go dungeon-crawling for a long time now." Magnus said to no one in particular. "Also, where did the squid guy come from?"

"I thought he lived here." Leske said.

"He's a squid, moron. WHy would he live in a volcano?" Ash scoffed.

"Perhaps he is some kind of volcanic squid, who has adapted to the harsh climate..." Desmond mused.

"If you three don't shut up, you can find your own way across the lava river." Magnus said dully. The three mooks quickly dropped their debate. Magnus quickly teleported them to the other side and then, twisting the ring on his finger, turned into a crow with a loud 'POOF'

He flew across the lava and landed on Jeff's shoulder, making sure to CAW loudly in his ear.

The Bread Wizard also flew over the lava, somehow conjuring a pair of wings made out of flatbread and flapping his arms very fast.

[Mizagium]

Jeff took the time to speak to the newcomer elf. He sighed and placed a hand on his shoulder. "It's better if you don't ask. However, since you have, I'm going to give the short version. We're in the middle of a wedding for two of those dragon-things." He motioned vaguely at the four flying forms. "The one with the sparkling codpiece is the groom. The green one is the bride. See, Sailor Eros over there decided to interrupt our fight and cause Fabio-Ridley to fall in love with Rachel Ridley, who are apparently distant related from some weird made-up land that the Dayman (the royal-looking guy with the codpiece) is from. Anyway, we got into the ceremony and realized we didn't have rings. So we Eros opened the bone cathedral Perish (our necromancer vampire) to a cavern to Mount Wedding Ring were we will apparently find some magical wedding rings."

He paused and considered things. There was more. Like how they murdered a bunch of people and robbed a museum, but somehow that didn't seem like the type of thing to mention to a new elf friend.

"Also we have a squid man."

[Bruce Leroy]

*Enter Codex Screen*
"Aquaman"

"Yes, MGF?"

"I've found the group you told me about. What are your orders?"

"For now, try to join them and gain their trust. Your gonna need them soon enough."

*Codex Screen closes*

Watch from the far side of the lava, stood Metal Gear Fish with a false mustache perfectly disguised. "I should probably go introduce myself." He proceeded to stole casually over to the group congregating on the lava bank. "With this false mustache on, my real identity will be concealed until I feel as though I can trust them," he thought. Upon finally reaching the group he raised is arm and proceeded to greet them as all people from Atlantis greet each other, with a full impromptu dance and musical arrangement.

[Damien]

Trosdan mulled all this over in his mind, considering whether or not to join this group of...people...

He decided he would.

"I suppose I'll join you then," he said to Jeff. "I think I might be of some use to you all, especially given my SUPREME ABILITY OVER ALL THINGS NATURAL AND ELEMENTAL!!!" He smirked at Jeff and said softly, "not to mention...you're quite the looker."

As Trosdan walked around Jeff to meet the rest of the motley crew, he stopped for a moment and gave Jeff a firm smack on his rump. Why? BECAUSE HE CAN!

[Monika]

"Excellent!" Sailor Eros cheered, literally jumping for joy, painfully hitting her head on the cave ceiling as she did so. "Owowowowow..." After rubbing it briefly, she turned around and waved at the newcomers. "Greetings, Trosdan, Metal Gear Fish and Mr. Illusive Squid! I'm so honored that you're here to join our wedding ceremony. We were pretty short on attendants back up there. Now we can have a few more groomsmen and an actual guest or two. Eros closed her eyes as she began to contemplate how much more perfect the wedding would now be, blindly walking forward, neglecting to notice that she had walked right into a person...or was it?

"Oh, excuse me!" Sailor Eros opened her eyes and saw what she had walked into. It definitely looked human in shape, but its head was...off. And by off, I mean instead of a human head, it had a shark head. It was wearing sunglasses and a suit - almost as if the Illusive Squid had stolen Jeff's Matrix shades and switched species. The arms of the suit were torn at the shoulder to expose its muscular arm-fins.

"Ay, watch where you're goin', lady," the creature grunted. He had a very gruff Australian accent (for those party members who happen to know what Australia is).

"My apologies, gentle ocean creature!" Sailor Eros shouted.

"I can hear you, ya know..."

Ignoring him, she continued. "Tell me, what is a shark human hybrid like yourself doing in a volcano? Should you not be in an ocean? Or land?"

"I resent that remark, lady. I am no shark-human hybrid, as you put it. The name's Bruce Clamor, heir to the Shark Lord Dynasty, rulers of the entire ocean. Or, at least, I would be heir if the parents hadn't made me go seek "real life experience", whatever that means. They wanted me to get a real job before taking up my Shark Lord duties, so I'm working as a bouncer for the D.W.A.R.F." Bruce crossed his arms smugly; he was evidently quite proud of his job.

"Dwarf? Well, this is generic fantasy land, so I suppose dwarves wouldn't be too out of the ordinary," Eros mused.

"My Poseidon! Don't you kids know anything?!" Bruce growled, incredulous. "D.W.A.R.F. is the Demon Wrestling Association of the Ring Federation!"

Sailor Eros raised her hand as if to ask another question, so Bruce preemptively continued.

"The Ring Federation is an organized cri, ahem, an organized syndi...It's just an organization, alright? They go around conducting completely legal business operations, and use their proceeds to, uh, give back to the community, often times in the form of rings and ring accessories, hence their name. The operation they run in this mountain is the Demon Wrestling Association they bought out some years ago."

Sailor Eros raised her hand again.

"Ugh! Are you kids daft or somethin'?" Bruce opened his mouth, revealing each and every one of his very, very pointy teeth. Some were silver, some platinum, and he seemed to have a lot more than a typical shark. "The Demon Wrestling Association is an association of demon wrestlers. They have tournaments at the base of this mountain twice a month or so. For this upcoming tournament, the prizes are a couple o' fancy gems ripe for bein' forged into rings." The shark-man reached into his suit pocket with a very muscular arm, withdrawing a rolled up sheet of paper. Upon unrolling it and revealing it to Sailor Eros, she nearly fainted.

"Oh my goodness! That's the Divine Sapphire of Unity and the Holy Emerald of Matrimony!" Sure enough, the page which Sailor Eros was nearly drooling over had a portrait of two shining gemstones - one blue and one green. Even the paper which they were drawn on seemed to be sparkling with an otherworldly brilliance.

"Stop droolin', lass!" Bruce shoved the paper back into his pocket. "Brilliant, though, aren't they? Too bad registration for the tournament is closed. But you can still buy tickets to see it over there." He pointed toward a path that looked even more treacherous than the one they had just crossed. "Come back here when you've got the tickets."

[blazinvire]

Perish first glanced at Trosdan -ignoring his sudden appearance and appropriate reactions she should be taking- and then at Jeff with her eyes narrow a little.
"We're probably going to need two sets of rings!" Perish said to the others, pointing at thumb at Jeff and Trosdan before promptly abandoning the ship she'd made in favor of jumping on the one this 'Sailor Eros' was piloting.

"So, talking sharkman, wrestling demons, ominous wedding rings of superfluousness, tickets..." Perish said as thought computing it all and figuring a clever plan out.
She brought her hands up, her right clenched in a fist and her left cupped over, dragging them apart and a cruel obsidian dagger rapidly formed in her right hand.
"Let's kill everyone," Perish said with determination.

[Sariel of Tevet]

The Dayman stood at the lava river still, and snapped out of his memory, realizing that he had been left behind. "Hmmm. This surely cannot be, you cannot leave royalty behind on the quest for true love! The Ridley couple needs me!" The Dayman noticed the precarious and decaying ropes hanging along the mile long lava river. "I suppose that will have to do"

He looked down and knocked on his codpiece for good luck. "Well old friend, how bout we draw on some powers that I was mysteriously granted that day in the alley of Southyros when I needed to tidy up the filthy cockpit of Hobotron."

He thrust his codpiece forward and its radiance engulfed the entire area. The ropes became diamond and gem incrusted ropes and the walls around the lava river became adorned with the most breath taking royally purple tapestries, which promptly caught on fire. The Dayman leapt without hesitation and became to swing across the lava river and eventually reached the group, where a shark man thing was chirping about tickets.

"Hmmm. Tickets you say?" He yanked down the massive diamond and gem incrusted rope that he had last swung from and threw it at the ticket counter. "Will that cover it?"

[Bruce Leroy]

Metal Gear Fish stood looking at Sailor Eros and Bruce. Perplexed at the situation, he rubbed his false mustache and pondered for a moment. "I got it!" he exclaimed reaching in his backpack. "My good old faithful box," he thought. Once he pulled the box out he hid under it for a moment so that he could contact Aquaman.

*Enter Codex Screen*

"Sir."

"Yes Fish?"

"It there anyway you can pull some strings so that I may gain entrance to the D.W.A.R.F. tournament?"

"Doesn't that start in just a few..."

"Yes, yes I know but you wanted me to gain their trust didn't you?"

"Fine I'll see what I can do. I'll contact you in a few moments with confirmation, but shouldn't you be able to just sneak in and take someones place? I mean you are the head of A.S.S.E.S."

"Ah.. you're right. Thank you, Sir. Fish out!"

"This is what all time, training and money went..."

*Codex closes*

While still under his box Metal Gear Fish began to make his way to the dressing room for the event.

[Myrdraxxis]

Magnus quickly turned back into his human form, taking a very unsubtle step away from Trosdan and leaned in towards Perish. "For once, I completely agree." Really, he could accept that they had digressed from their keystone-finding quest -after all, side quests were to be expected- but now it was quickly looking like there was going to be another pointless side venture.

Magnus was a pretty easy-going guy, and had thusfar rolled with the whacky situations that had been thrown their way. But he did not forget that they had left Centros in a state of upheaval. Northryosian troops were no doubt still pouring into the central land, and Northryos itself was a whole other can of problems that Magnus didn't want to think about right now. The Archmage and his schemes were always looming int he back of Magnus' mind.

"I have an idea." Magnus said, stepping around the Dayman and staring at the sharkman bouncer. He raised a hand and a ball of blue flame appeared under the bouncer's chin. "We get free entrance and you get to keep your insides on the inside."

[Mizagium]

"Oh please, Rachel Ridley pleades. "Can't you see we're in love?!" She and Fabio-Ridley clasped claws as a sign of their umity.

"Yes, Bruce. We need those rings for our wedding. Without them, we can never be truly married!"

Ridley and Riley roared to ahow their solidity.

Jeff decided not to dignify Trosdan's advance with a response. He simply swaggered up to Bruce. "Excuse me, sharkman?" He tapped his sunglasses. "See these? They're all the ticket I need."

[Monika]

"Look," Bruce turned to address Fabio-Ridley and his bride-to-be. "While I'm a fan of love as much as the next Shark Lord, the fact of the matter is that the rings are for the tournament winner and tournament registration is closed. "With that said..." The sharkman grinned at the beautiful rope the Dayman had thrown. "I've got a few front-row tickets I've been saving for the highest bidder...and I think Mr. Royal over there just won." Hastily pocketing the rope, Bruce threw a handful of front-row tickets at the group.

"Now, no need for any violence. You guys have got your tickets, so feel free to step right through." Bruce stepped aside and opened a rather menacing door (emblazoned with various skull logos and 'DO NOT ENTER' inscriptions) behind him. The sounds of cheering and cries of 'YEA, BURN HIM! BURN HIM TO A CRISP!' blasted through the door as it was opened. "Just remember, those tickets are for viewing the tournament only, not entering it. But you guys won't listen to me, anyway, will ya?" Muttering that last part under his breath, Bruce snickered and stepped out of the way.

"Thank you, Bruce! Another obstacle that can't stand in the way of true love! Come on, guys! Let's find a way to enter this tournament!" Sailor Eros snatched one of the tickets and galloped through the door, recoiling slightly at the pungent odor of blood and charred flesh. She had stepped into the highest row of seats in what appeared to be a dark (save for a few lava falls and lightly burning torches), massive colosseum filled from ceiling to floor with screaming humans, demons and ponies alike. At the bottom of it was a large, cubical steel cage which house a titanic volcanic beast that wore nothing except a championship belt. He looked to be made of solid obsidian, with bright, molten rock where his eyes and mouth would be.

Lifting his bulky, glassy arms into the air, the beast inhaled deeply and yelled:

CAN YOU SMELL...WHAT THE LAVA ROCK IS COOKING!?!


The crowds went wild as the Lava Rock shouted his signature phrase until a tall, sharply dressed announcer with a massive staff-sword at his side stepped up on stage.

"Greetings, one and all, and welcome to the 193^rd bi-monthly tournament for the Demon Wrestling Association of the Ring Federation!" he shouted

The crowds went into an uproar again.

"I'll be your announcer and referee for the evening - Leon Veralice!" the announcer added, somehow making his voice heard over the cries and cheers of the crowd.

The crowd went into an even louder uproar.

"Today's tournament will consist of eight matches, for which the prize is a set of two gems: The legendary Sapphire of Unity and Emerald of Matrimony! The first match will be between the undefeated Lava Rock..."

The Lava Rock shook his fists in the air, prompting more cheers from the crowd.

"...and his challenger, Stone Warm Steve Austin!"

Another Volcano Demon, substantially smaller and infinitely less threatening (but still quite dangerous) materialized in the steel cage. Upon his appearance, the cheers died down and were eventually replaced with loud boos and hisses.

"Now, now, let's be nice, everyone!" Leon demanded. "Both combatants have been training for this day for the majority of their lives, so let's show them equal support. And, without further ado, let the tournament commence!"

The crowd was in a frenzy now; many of their heads literally exploded with excitement as the battle began. Leon warped to the top of a high lifeguard tower that stood right next to the cage. From here he had a good, safe view of everything that happened in the cage. He could easily intervene (or not) if needed. On either arm of his chair were the two gemstones, ready to be handed to the winner of the tournament...at his discretion, of course.

"Now, how do we enter that cage...?" Sailor Eros closed her eyes again and began to think, but her concentration was shattered by the deafening screams of Stone Warm Steve Austin as he was thrashed to a lava-y pulp.

[Bruce Leroy]

As Metal Gear Fish watched Stone Worm Steve Austin get destroyed, he thought to himself about his time training back in Atlantis. "With wrestling is fake so winning this should be quite easy. Why should I have to wait for my match when this one is clearly over."

With that MGF rushed the ring, pulling a steal chair from his backpack. Opening the cage door, by simply smashing the lock with his chair, entered the ring and began helping The Lava Rock stomp on Stone Worm Steve Austin. Once they felt that he was finished they both looked at each other wondering what to do next. That's when MGF had a grand idea. He then picked up The Lava Rock and power bombed him through the side of the cage, causing it to come crashing down into the crowd.

[Mizagium]

Jeff didn't grab a ticket. He didn't need one. His Matrix Shades and shmoove tux were all that he needed in life. He was just about settled into his seat when Metal Gear Fish power bombed the Lava Rock.

"Wait, are we doing this?" He flourished his sword. "Because I...you know. I feel like I should really be the hero or something. Like...in situations like this, I should probably be telling you guys to stop screwing around." He waited. He waited for a long while, hoping someone would stop him. "Ok. Fine." He jumped into the ring.

"Look, fish. I know we've basically bribed our way into here--not to mention that we've destroyed a town, robbed a museum, and murdered a bunch of people--but shouldn't we, at least once, try to actually do what we're supposed to?" He paused. "Actually. I guess you weren't in on any of those things I said. So then I address that to the rest of the party."

"I agree!" Fabio-Ridley declared. "True love is unworthy of these base actions! We should not disrupt this match. Indeed, let us ENTER the tournament to win the rings for ourselves!"

"I'm pretty sure that's exactly the opposite of what I said," Jeff began. "Help me out here," he said to the Magnis-crow on his shoulder.

[Myrdraxxis]

"I think this whole thing is stupid, but my idea is pretty similar to Perish." Magnus said, turning into his human form....but still sitting on Jeff's shoulder. "So I'd say just take the rings and mow over anyone who stops us." he shrugged. "But if you're keen on being the hero.."

Magnus jumped down and ripped off his coat dramatically, revealing a pair shockingly muscular and well-toned arms. "Then prepare to bring the pain, brother!"

[blazinvire]

Perish pretty much stepped on the ticket as she ignored the flam and shook her head, things getting just that little too much even for her drastically expanded tolerance for insanity, after watching some incomprehensible demon smash another and more spoutings of 'true love'.
She really wanted to kill something right now -at least, she did until that infernal wizard jumped in and betrayed that he had a ripped body. Perish had considered him something of a casual rival considering they were both spell-slingers of different ends of the magical scale, and he had huge muscles!? What madness was this!?

With much frustration, Perish kicked one of the front-row people off into the arena and jumped down as well.

"I thought you were a wizard!?" Perish fumed at Magnus, "I won't be beat by you!"

All that energy she'd be slowly collecting for a crux? Yeah. And the flexibility of ritual magic? Yeah.
She clapped her hands together and the top half of her robe exploded away, leaving but a tank top and exposing a muscled body that was still smoking a little with dark energy from the magic she'd just used to pump them up.