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Post by Mizagium on May 20, 2013 10:23:00 GMT -5
Jeff signaled for Chase to assist him and started gathering as mush useful things as possible. "You said you're coming with me, right, Eisfir? Well I'm going to the western border - or something in that direction. Just a heads up in case that doesn't sound very appealing to you." He plopped a sack of potatoes in the cart. Why a sack of potatoes?
Because potatoes are impervious to every type of disaster, from man-made to natural. They're also highly resistant to dolphin-based cataclysms.
"I hope you don't think I'm crazy for following the instructions of a voice only I can hear in my head, right?"
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"Varesh isn't coming."
Rurik and the Mechanist King looked out from the top of the tower, towards the barren patch of land that was once Heroes' Refuge. Even from this distance, they could feel the disturbance in the air. Portals weren't exactly the most discreet method of travel. They were fast, but to anyone sensitive to mana, to changes in air pressure, or to weirdness, they were easy to detect. And, lord, were they efficient.
"Neither is Kihlbron."
The king sighed. "I suspect he was either crushed by the magister force...or he has hidden himself in the mountains. In any case, we must consider him a non-combatant. He is to be classified as Missing In Action."
"Aye, sir."
"How likely do you think our chances are of treating with the Magisters?"
"Slim."
"Go anyway."
"Yes sir."
-
Salma, the self-styled Blade Queen of Centros braced herself when the Mysterious Hooded Figure appeared beside her. Teleportation always made her uneasy - partly because she had never quite had the aptitude for it, bur mostly because the ability to appear and disappear at will undermined her won set of skills.
"Benefactor."
"Salma, my dear, how goes the war effort?" His voice was level and smooth like silk.
"It goes well, thanks to your contribution."
"My contribution was a small one."
"It turned the Mechanist King's own soldiers against him."
"Yes, the Breath of Life is a tricky ability to...rewrite. I'm afraid that they won't be exactly the same as you remember them. With my influence they will be more...feral. Savage. Chaotic."
She smiled and knew he was smiling, too, despite his hood.
"He suspects rebellion."
The Mysterious Benefactor shook his head. "It will do him no good. His forces were smashed by a handful of powerful defenders at Heroes' Refuge. The Northyric Magisters have made that their forward base. Varesh has pulled her troops in and hasn't budged. Kihlbron is lost."
"And Evennia?"
"She will join with you at the rendezvous point."
"Excellent. Centros will be mine." But when she looked over, the Benefactor was gone.
He reappeared in a floating crystalline fortress of green, gold, and black. The very fabric of the universe rippled around it. "Yes," he responded, far beyond her hearing. "Everything is going according to plan."
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Post by Mizagium on May 24, 2013 1:00:24 GMT -5
"Man, we can follow the voices anywhere as long as it's out of here." Magnus said, eyeing the Northyros soldiers. They hadn't approached the group yet, but it would happen eventually. Not that Magnus believed they would cause them much problems. If nothing else his status as a Magister could make them do backflips if he felt like it.
But still...
"right, I'm all for leaving. Also, these are my new pals." He motioned at his three personal minions, Desmond Leske and Ash. "They'll be coming along too."
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Post by Mizagium on May 24, 2013 1:00:34 GMT -5
Esfir approved of Jeff's pick of potatoes. Potatoes were a great source of food. She showed this approval by giving him a friendly 'pat' on the back, which might have had a bit more force behind it than necessary.
"West it is then." She then turned to the new additions. "Welcome, new comrades. Be sure to make yourselves useful. And make sure your pal, the magic user, somehow pays me. Or you all will, since you are his pals." She threatened them with her hammer.
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Post by Mizagium on May 24, 2013 1:00:48 GMT -5
Jeff headed the mechanic's advice. HE would make sure Magnus paid her back somehow. "Don't worry, Eisfir. You'l be repaid. Now, Chase, Perish, Eisfer, Magnus, you three, let's get to going. I'd rather not be here any longer than we have to."
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"TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER!"
Zelmon shouted this order at the robotic soldier he had just pummeled to the ground. It was only then that he realized that even robots cannot function without a head. This one's was somewhere behind him lopped off in one swing of his mace.
"CURSES."
"There will be no need for that." Evennia looked very much like her sister: tall, bronze-skinned and dark-haired. Salma might have been an inch or two taller, and more lithe. Evennia was never quite as nimble on her feet as Salma, but she made do with her lighting-whips. "You are addressing the leader of this army. Evennia. Who are you?"
Zelmon dropped to one knee. "Zelmon, my lady, a paladin of Esteros."
"Your business?"
"My brother. I am searching for a man of my stature, garbed in full armor, only his is gold."
"I have seen no one by that description."
"Then I beg your pardon." He rose and made to leave.
"Wait a just a moment. A paladin of Esteros can have no love for the Mechanist King of Centros, can he?"
Zelmon considered this. "It is true, ma'am. My lord does not particularly enjoy this man masquerading as a king. True kings are born; they inherit their right. You...are not a queen, no more than he is a king."
Evennia let that go. She was more...forgiving than her sister. "Perhaps, but all royal lineages must start somewhere, yes? The Mechanist King has proven he is not fit to being such a line. Already his dominion fractures."
The paladin waited for the woman to complete the pitch.
"But I...Salma and I will control this land. And not just with fear. We will earn the respect of the citizens." Through fear. "Join me. Help us take Centros. Help us create a stable dominion. And then you may return to your lord with a new ally. I'm sure he would reward you generously."
"Perhaps you are correct, lady Evennia." Zelmon turned back, hesitated, and knelt. "Very well. Until such time as the land of Centros is secured by the two queens, I will serve you. Following that, I shall return to my liege lord."
"Arise, Zelmon, you are now in the service of the...Storm Queen of Centros."
Zelmon rose and took his place at her right hand.
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Post by Mizagium on May 24, 2013 1:01:00 GMT -5
Fury managed to get down from the top of the wreckage and strolled through the street, avoiding the puddles of acid that remained in the gutters. He looked around. Not much law to enforce around here. With no further concern, it was time to simply walk the earth. He headed for what used to be the edge of town, looked around.
Aha! The tiny blue robot, the oddly attractive woman he had fought alongside. They were walking alongside some of the defenders. Maybe he should walk the earth after them.
Fury began to follow at a leisurely pace, kicking along a pebble and whistling. I should probably find a shirt somewhere, he mused. Time enough to take care of that on the road.
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Post by Mizagium on May 24, 2013 1:01:19 GMT -5
Da daaaaaaaaaaaaah, dadadadadadaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, dadadadadada-da-da, dada-da-DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
SMACK!! A booming sound resonated throughout the small wooden horse drawn carriage as an exquisitely dressed prince slapped his poor old servant.
“You call that a royal entrance?! Have you seen this cod piece? LOOK AT IT SPARKLE! I am ROYALTY. I am The Incredibly Handsome and Much Much Better Than You Prince Ali-Hammurabi-dappapa-pastathopoulos-giannis-maleza-demetreus-qui-gon-jinn-julius of The Secluded and Tropical Nation of Koosalagoopagoopakuzbekistanahamas, the 4th, Esquire, Jr., and my absurdly royal and lengthy nomenclature gives me complete authority of you, or do you forget who you serve Welshy? Now, I want it played LOUDER!”
The small, frigid old man was seated across from the extremely royal (and sparkly) prince in the back of their carriage, which was fumbling not so gracefully down the dirt road.
“Oh no sire I remember I serve you. It’s just that, I know you have ordered the men to play a song to glorify your essence in case we see any travelers on the road, but…”
“But what Welshy? But…what!” The prince stood up, trying to balance in the unstable carriage and still maintain maximum royalty (it’s all about presence). He glared down at his servant and swished his royal purple cloak over his shoulders. “Remember that I own you servant, choose your next words wisely.”
“Well sire it is just that, you only have myself and the driver employed on this trip. That means that the driver has to control the carriage and play the song all by himself. And the only thing that you were able to pull from that infernal utility belt of yours was a kazoo! It can only be played so loudly…”
The prince sat back down and brought his hand up to his royal chin to think, striking a royal and manly pose (and definitely royal). “Wait! Welshy I am having the most incredible thought. What if…the song isn’t able to be played any louder? My utility belt, as powerful and infinite as its contents may be, offers me no control over the items that I wish to pull forth from its loins.”
“Sire, your..belt has loi..?”
“Silence! I am pontificating! I was pulling items from my utility belts womb..”
The old man shook his head. “Genderbending? Ok now you are just being silly..”
“Welshy! Pon-ti-fuh-kate-ing! I was pulling items from my belt (Welshy whispered a silent “thank you” under his breath, as to not interrupt the prince’s creative process), and in looking for the first musical item I could get my hands on I came across a kazoo. Which can only be played so loudly, unless it were to be played by someone as handsome and royal as me. I am better than you and my driver dear Welshy and my kazoo playing is surely superior and much louder. I suppose I must just make do. Do you smell acid?”
The prince and his servant both dangled their heads outside of the carriage somewhat comedically, because for some reason the carriage only had one window, and their eyes were drawn to an approaching town. Well, they thought it was a town. Maybe it used to be a town, but now it just seems to look like an acid ridden pile of rubbish. The prince laughed a hearty royal laugh, “Do you see what happens when you are not royal enough Welshy? I bet these peasants have never even SEEN a cod piece, not to mention one as sparkly and fantastic as mine! Come, we must educate these plebeians and I shall show them what true royalty is! These pathetic country folk need to be reminded that there is someone better than they are out there, and three times..no..four times more royal!” The prince in manly fashion pulled himself back into the carriage and twirled his cloak around to encase himself, and pointed towards the town. “By the power vested in my by this royal pose (and cloak), I the The Incredibly Handsome and Much Much Better Than You Prince Ali-Hammurabi-dappapa-pastathopoulos-giannis-maleza-demetreus-qui-gon-jinn-julius of The Secluded and Tropical Nation of Koosalagoopagoopakuzbekistanahamas, the 4th, Esquire, Jr. declare that we shall journey forth to this…”
“Sire hold on!” The driver yelled as he snapped out of his short nap brought on by the prince’s speech. He obviously wasn’t royal enough to listen and it drained his inferior energy source, causing him to doze. In his lapse of attention the driver accidentally led the carriage on course to meet with a group of unsuspecting characters on the edge of the acid ridden heap of rubble (or possibly a town), and this course…was a collision course.
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Post by Mizagium on May 24, 2013 1:01:31 GMT -5
Magnus watched the incoming carriage, rather fascinated. Then annoyed as he realized that the thing wasn't going to stop, and instead was careening out of control.
"Yeah, that's not happening." Magnus stepped up and raised a hand towards the carriage, muttered an incantation.
The ground in front of the carriage shot up in a wall of earth, slamming the out of control transport to a jarring halt and hurling its occupants out of the vehicle. "....and that's why you wear a seatbelt." He said smugly, ignoring the fact that a carriage probably wouldn't even HAVE seatbelts.
Meanwhile further into town, the magister Septimus was busy dealing with the rather irritating business of sorting out the newly arrived Northyros army. At present, He was leading an army of just about five thousand soldiers, eight hundred of which were Magisters. And Magisters didn't like taking orders from their fellows, even if he was on the Council and was leading this operation.
"I understand your complain." He said evenly, directing his hooded gaze at the current belligerent mage to occupy his time.
"I don't think you do, boy." the magister spat. "This task..this, foot-soldier's job is a waste of my talents. And a slight on my honor."
'Magisters with honor....' Septimus' lips quirked into a small amused smile. "I cannot trust this task to a simple soldier, Magister. I want to done quickly and efficiently, so our soldiers can settle in easily and get down to invading. It's an important job. And an order from me." the last part he said rather threateningly. The magister 'hmph'-ed and stalked away.
Behind Septimus, a shade appeared, chuckling. "I do so enjoy how you made digging latrines sound like such an important task." the ghost said. Spetimus smirked.
"Someone has to do it, and Magister Andros needed to be taken down a peg."
"They all do." The ghost observed. Septimus hummed thoughtfully. Septimus was a Spirit Mage, and as such often interacted with ghosts and spirits. But rarely did any actually stick around long enough the serve as anything more that battle familiars. This particular ghost had been with him for nearly five years now. Septimus had no clue why exactly, but he enjoyed the company.
"Do you think Magnus will really leave?" the ghost asked. Septimus sighed.
"Yes. He'll leave. He has little love of us. It's why he left Northyros in the first place."
"He could have at least stayed to finish your training." THe ghost said disapprovingly.
"I know, Eldrin. But I did fine without him."
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Post by Mizagium on May 24, 2013 1:01:44 GMT -5
Jeff stared, confused, as the carriage continued on its collision course with Magnus' stone wall. "I think he probably had enough time to get out of the way..." He sighed. Slowly, he mad his way over the collapsed forms that had been thrown from the carriage, dreading the outcome.
"Hey," he called, pocking one of the bodies with his foot. "Are you alive?"
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Post by Mizagium on May 24, 2013 1:01:56 GMT -5
The prince opened his eyes and allowed the world around him to come into focus. His royal head was aching, but his extreme handsomeness was still in perfect condition, of course. When the the haze cleared from his vision he realized someone was poking him. And looked up and saw a..."man" crouched over him.
"How...how...how DARE you poke at royalty you peon! And if you were going to poke at me repeatedly I would prefer it to ATLEAST be by a man with at a minimum half the amazing manliness that I possess. Wait, that didn't come out right...I would rather women poke at me! With..their..womanly thing...you know what forget it! I do not have to explain my unfortunate adjective placements to you SIR! If you are in fact a sir. I see no cod piece, the only true sign of manliness you see. So you are either a woman or a boy, and neither is allowed to touch royalty! Wait, I mean...YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN! BACK YOU FEMININE INFERIOR FOOL!"
The prince then jumped up, swirled his fantastic purple cloak about and stared directly into the eyes of this..."man".
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Post by Mizagium on May 24, 2013 1:02:07 GMT -5
Leon tugged at Jeff's shirt and pulled him downward to whisper something. "Pardon me, but don't you think we should...leave?" Eying the prince, his servants, the broken down carriage and the stone wall, Leon felt that Jeff should expedite his departure before even worse trouble arrived. "I've been on many an adventure with many a companion, and I can assure you that those types," he pointed at the prince, "are not the kind you should interact with. Doing so will only make your task a lot more difficult."
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Post by Mizagium on May 24, 2013 1:02:16 GMT -5
"Nyet." Esfir simply stated in horror. "I am not traveling with this... Person. I can already tell he will be nothing but trouble. His carriage, however..." She glanced at it and nonchalantly said "Comrade Jeff, he is alive. I suggest we take anything valuable he has and leave before he is able to follow us."
She paused a moment, contemplating what she had just said. "Wait. That would make me, how you say, a bad guy, yes?" She thought a bit longer, before sighing. "Strange man, do not yell at my comrade! You are lucky to be alive. I am sure the magic user could have easily killed you. Who do you think you are?!"
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Post by Mizagium on May 24, 2013 1:02:25 GMT -5
"GEHT DAAAWWWWN!" Fury yelled as he came out of nowhere and tackled the prince to the ground. Clearly the man was in imminent danger.
Fury threw his oiled, shirtless body over the man to protect him, drawing his pistol to ward off any attackers. There had to be law, dammit. That was his job.
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Post by Mizagium on May 24, 2013 1:02:36 GMT -5
Jeffrey considered the strange person, Mitch Fury, then Leon, then Eisfer, then the strange man again, then Eisfer, Mitch Fury, Leon, and so on in that fashion several times until he was certain of his course of action. "Right then." He summoned the his sword.
"This is a robbery," he said the strange prince person and Mitch Fury."We're taking you carriage. Eisfer, you know what to do. Leon, make sure he doesn't try anything funny. OR...weird. Weirder. Weird for us. Or, you know, you could just smack him around a few times."
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Post by Mizagium on May 24, 2013 1:02:47 GMT -5
"Aside from the fact that you shouldn't know my name," Leon began, recalling that he never actually introduced himself, "you should be a little kinder." After giving Jeff a quick glance, sizing him up, Leon continued. "From the looks of it, you seem to be the protagonist type. Protagonists don't go around robbing people." Truthfully, Leon didn't care one way or the other, believing in a utilitarian approach to these matters. He just wanted to make sure everyone stayed true to their story role.
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Post by Mizagium on May 24, 2013 1:03:01 GMT -5
"Oh no," Jeff pointed his sword at Leon, as he struggled to remember how he knew his name. "I've just about had it with this place. I wind up here, sucked from my home, and get caught up in a battle that nearly got me killed. But no, I discovered I had superpowers or something - and a voice in my head that claims to have brought me here. Then we win. Somehow. Then magicians or wizards or whatever show up and take over. So no, I'm not in a good mood right now. I want to get to this place in my head, figure out how I got my powers, and go home."
He turned the sword back to the prince or whatever. "And he has a carriage. So he can come with us, or we take it. I don't really care either way. But I. Am. Taking. The. Carriage."
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Post by Mizagium on May 24, 2013 1:03:40 GMT -5
"Whatever you say, Jeff. As long as you're sure you're done being the protagonist. You take the carriage. I'll be the new hero of this adventure!" Leon beamed, pulling a piece of paper and pen from his robe pocket as he prepared to write down a theme song for his story, which he planned to retitle 'The Adventures of Leon and Friends. And Enemies."
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Post by Mizagium on May 24, 2013 1:03:50 GMT -5
"I didn't think that robbery was our thing, but hey why not." Magnus said, walking over to the carriage. "We might need someone to drive this. We should steal the driver too." He added as an after-thought. "Also, check to see if he has any golden teeth." Now that Magnus' inner kleptomaniac was out, it was out in full force.
"Seriously though, can we leave? Those Northyros soldiers aren't going to just stand around forever."
As it was, the soldiers nearby had been content to watch in a state of bewilderment as a Magister they all knew and feared respected took out a high-speed carriage and then proceed to mug the occupants.
"I agree." Leske, the so far rather amused mook, added.
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Post by Mizagium on May 24, 2013 1:04:00 GMT -5
"Robbery? ROBBERY?! I have heard of highway robbery before but this...how dare you think you can rob a manly prince such as myself! I am royalty! Do you see this cod piece? It is over three and a half sizes larger than any cod piece that you could ever possess and I know this for a fact! I have seen many a cod piece in my day sirs. The kingdom where I hail from has cod pieces GALORE. It is a sign of nobility and being absolutely better than anyone around you. With that being said, I am better than you fools. All of you! Except maybe this oily man here protecting me, he seems quite the sack of testosterone. Also he seems to have sense about him. I approve, sir I shall find you a cod piece post haste!"
With that the prince reached towards his utility belt. Welshy awoke and saw that he was about to use his secret weapon and yelled, "Sir! Is that really smart? These people want to rob you! And you want to use that? It can't be relied upon..you should change plans..."
"Welshy I know what I am doing! And I am not defending myself I am finding a large cod piece for my new manly friend here."
The prince reached into his utility belt and began to pull out item after item. He went through quills, a pigeon, a photo of an unknown man, an empty vial, a leather shoe, a fishing pole, a quantum disassembley ray (he was not aware what technology this was so he shrugged and tossed it to the cop fellow, assuming that he could use it as a toothpick, a very shiny...deadly..toothpick), and then finally a cod piece.
"Here you are sir, may your loins be cozy and shiny for the rest of your manly days. It is yours. Now for you hooligans that believe you are to rob me. I have something special in store for you. I eh..hope."
He again reached into his unreliable and unmatchable secret weapon, and to his surprise he pulled out an entire fleet of carriages.
"Hmmm. I was hoping I would get to teach you low lifes a lesson, but it seems that I have found something productive for all of us. How about we just travel together? You DO need a manly leader after all. And me and Sheriff Badass Manulous over here are the only two with sparkly, supporting cod pieces to protect all of you from our massive genitalia. We volunteer ourselves to help you. Don't we friend?"
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Post by Mizagium on May 24, 2013 1:04:13 GMT -5
Esfir picked up a random hunk of metal and threw it at the flamboyant man sporting the cod piece. "I refuse to have a leader such as yourself. Also, I am leaving now." She started the engine on her wagon and jumped on. "Anyone want a ride? Didn't you say you were heading west, Comrade Jeff? And magic user, you are coming with me until you somehow pay me."
She then smirked at the prince. "By the way, strange man, I've seen much larger cod pieces back in my homeland, so do not flatter yourself."
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Post by Mizagium on May 24, 2013 1:04:50 GMT -5
"Well, this...this is my OTHER cod piece. It is my traveling cod piece. Not my royally presentable cod piece. That one is gold plated, has sparkling purple royal diamonds, and is TWICE this size, and is still tight. Because, I am a royal man. ROYAL!"
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