Awesome Land VI: Dawn of a New Era

[Calefrun]

CALE EFRUN THE ILLUSIVE SQUID SHIMMIED IN A SHOW OF APPROVAL. "AW YE BOI, THAT SOUNDS LIT AF. WE CAN DITCH THAT DRACO GUY AND GO HANG WITH PEOPLE WHO AREN'T LIKE, ASSHOLES. BUT WHERE ARE WE GOING TO FIND ROBOTS AT THIS HOUR?"

SUDDENLY THE BUTTONS ON HIS COAT, WHICH HAD BEEN STRAINING TO CONTAIN HIS MAGNIFICENT ABS, BROKE FREE AND FLEW OFF SO FAST THEY TELEPORTED INTO THE DIMENSION WHERE THINGS GO TO EITHER BECOME PLOT DEVICES LATER ON OR BE FORGOTTEN ABOUT UNTIL YEARS LATER. THE COAT BURST OPEN AND A LIGHT SHINED FROM THAT BEAUTIFUL SQUID TORSO THAT WAS SO BRIGHT IT WAS AS THOUGH A SECOND SUN HAD RISEN OVER SEXY LAND.

"FIZ, I HATE IT WHEN THAT HAPPENS!"

Cozal, who was miraculously still alive, was doing his best to just stare at the sky and pretend that none of this was happening. With everything going on, he felt like he was having an out-of-body experience, to the point where he could almost feel his spirit physically manifesting itself beside him.

Allie, meanwhile, was casually tapping away at a cell phone while taking occasional sips of her drink.

---

Kayla sidestepped the man's punch and delivered one of her own, cracking her knuckles across his jaw.

"Really? A punch?" she asked with a sigh. "I know you guys are like... common street criminals or whatever, but you couldn't come up with anything better than that?"

She grabbed the man by his collar and lowered her barrier. "Alright assholes, I've got your bo-" She cut herself off and released the Sakagi-gumi boss upon seeing Rick's handiwork. "Well, that uh... that handles that, I guess."

---

Cale Efrun II shrugged at Heimrall's question. "Beats me. I've been stuck here, slowly disintigrating, for... I dunno, a few years? Don't hear much about magic belts or whatever around here. Anyway, we were talking about how to get you out of here, right?"

Turning to the north, he began to walk. "It's dangerous to go... well, you're not alone, but it's still dangerous. Here, take this." He extended his arm and an ornate dagger appeared in his hand, which he tossed back over his shoulder to the Immortal.

The pair traveled north through another long stretch of empty desert, until they reached a tall dune overlooking a sea of darkness.

"Hmm..." Cale scratched his chin. "Could have swore this was just a pond the last time I checked. Sark must be getting stronger."

He pointed to the horizon, where one could just barely see a ship of some kind floating atop black waves. "That's your ticket out of here; we just need to figure out how to reach it." He grabbed a clump of sand and tossed it into the shadowy mass below, then watched as it slowly dissolved, consumed by the darkness. "I don't know about you, but I'm going to vote against trying to swim."

[Mizagium]

“Show myself?” Haley asked. “I’m not sure if you’re making a joke or not, Nightman. I can’t show myself. Incapable. Project: Midnight took that away from me.”

She reached into arsenalspace and retrieved a trio of small orbs, each about the size of a golf ball. They were each smooth and the color of burnished metal. Under close scrutiny one could perceive little breaks in the surface, implying compartments or a transformative capability. Haley lodged one between some pipes, and continued on.

“Midnight took a lot more away from many others, too. Not to mention the Void Wave Bomb.”

She rolled the second one down in front of her so it came to rest against the far wall. The third she hefted and tossed underhand down at the Nightman. It bounced off his codpiece and rolled to a stop on the floor.

“So I vowed to correct my mother’s mistakes.”

The third sphere emitted a high-pitched whine and unfolded: the little breaks expanded and the surface peeled away revealing complex machinery within. It sat up upon a tripod of legs and, with one bright red eye, studied the Nightman.

“THREAT DETECTED. CROTCH IS A WEAPON OF MASS DESTRUCTION. INITIATING FLACIDIFICATION PROCEDURES.”

Two prongs flipped up on the device, the thing aimed – and fired a beam of pure deflation energy at the Nightman’s codpiece. The other two drones Haley had placed earlier also unfolded, came to life, and fired their own deflation beams.

-
Knox cleared his throat. “So I know it’s only been a short while since our last, uh meating.” And deicide. “But something else has come up. Something potentially catastrophic. Two Immortals have vanished. And I mean legit vanished. The Immortal of Earth, Heimrall disappeared shortly after the battle with Zais and we – Artemis and I – haven’t been able to track her down. As well, Ollie – the Immortal of Light has – uh – well, Roewk. You were there. Perhaps this would be best heard from you.”

-

Rick Thunder whistled a four-note tune and his dinosaurs (reluctantly) disengaged from the incapacitated thugs and returned to his side, perching atop his shoulders, head, and one (Tiki) in the crook of his arm. Some time between the start of the battle and now he had put his sunglasses back on – but now he took them off again, as if in disbelief.

“Whoa,” he said waving them vaguely at Bushido Jones. “Check out the freakshow.”

-

Francine flicked her gaze to Hrathen, expectantly.

“It’s true. Azzi saw it first, but we encountered an origami-jutsu made out of clothes. Well, two. One, apparently, from the incident – and the second actually attacked Azzi as we were, uh, hiding outside the window. Besides, the room was in perfect order. Aside from the missing clothes and – ah - “ he deliberately didn’t look at Emily. “Well, the missing clothes. Other than that, the room was absolutely spotless, which can only be the sign of a ninja.”

Her Royal Highness had a hard time digesting the information. “So, wait, there’s a ninja inside the Palace right now that’s not a Thundercourgerfalconbird? And they’re, what, stealing clothes?”

Hrathen shrugged. “Possibly. You’ll note they attacked our guest, Ms. Robertson. As the only ninja she – or anyone else, really – would assume would have access would be our clan. So, it could be a rival faction trying to disrupt the upcoming dinner, and thus relations with Awesome Land.”

“But why? We don’t have any other enemies. Awesome Land has been a pain in our side for a while – no offense, Emily – but that’s it. Special Land doesn’t talk to anyone. Super Land is gone. We just have some small counties to the east and south, but non ninja clans.”

“That we know of.”

“I guess they wouldn’t be very good ninja if we heard of them before,” Francine conceded.

Hrathen cleared his throat politely.

“No offense.”

“None taken.

So she turned to Emily. “I know this is hard for you, and you’re welcome to remain here while we investigate further – but has Emperor Awesome run afoul of any rival ninja clans lately?”

-

Pollux sneered. “I think we can handle a fish-fry!” He didn’t even bother to draw his sword, just cupped his hand like holding onto a particularly slippery orange. Sparks flared between his fingers, then bolts of lightning arced across his palm and fingertips.

“Eat lightning, Gadiformes!” He let it fly, locking in on Cod Commando.

Castor rolled his eyes but followed suit, throwing lighting at Metal Gear Fish.

-

Corvus shrugged and pulled his hand back, unshaken. “So like, what’s the deal with you weirdos, eh? I mean this is a ship, yeah, but it definitely isn’t a spaceship. Only see models like this on rustic worlds and old fairs, you know? Ancient stuff, real throwback. So you some kinda eccentric nutcase, or…?

-

“HAH. NICE.”

GOLDBEZ PULLED SOME ROPE FROM SOMEWHERE AND TIED DRACONIS TO HIS BACK. “EH I THINK I’LL HOLD ON TO DRAGON MCEDGELORD FOR A BIT. HE’S PROBABLY WORTH A LAUGH OR TWO.”

GOLDBEZ BASKED IN THE GLOW OF HIS ONCE-STUDENT-WHO-HAD-NOW-BECOME-THE-MASTER.

“ROBOTS. IF ONLY THERE WAS SOME KIND OF MYSTERIOUS UNDERWATER WORLD WHERE ROBOTS BESIEGE THE POPULACE IN UNBRIDLED GENOCIDAL FURY. OTHERWISE, I DUNNO, I BE WE COULD GET BILL NYE TO WHIP US UP SOME ROBOTS.”

TO EMPHASIZE HIS POINT, GOLDBEZ DID THE ROBOT.

[Calefrun]

Cetis abruptly stopped dancing, and Allie coughed in mid-sip.

After clearing his throat, Cale spoke, his tone suddenly serious, "That's uh... that's an oddly specific example. I know of just the place, but I'm not sure if he's ready for it." He titled his head to indicate Cozal. "Honestly, I don't know if we're ready for it. I know how strong you are, and I've made a lot of progress since you last saw me, but these robots are... well, they're pretty tough."

He scratched his chin. "Actually... you mentioned Bill Nye. I... I'll admit, I hadn't thought about asking an Immortal for help. The only one I've met is Artemis, and that was after we killed her boss. If you think Bill would be willing to lend a hand, it might be worth paying him a visit."

"Err..." Cozal spoke up, "Sorry to interrupt... whatever it is you're talking about, but my team has a match coming up soon, so..."

"Hmm? Oh, right. Kinda surprised you give a damn about all that, considering you're not from that dimension. Plus, from what I understand, you're usually not the type to be inclined to help others."

"...How exactly do you know all that?"

"I can have Allie take you back to the Rave for a while," Cale replied, dodging the question without the slightest hint of subtlety. "We can come and get you before heading to Cardinalos."

"Uh... okay, I guess."

[Mizagium]

GOLDBEZ TURNED AROUND SO THE UNCONSCIOUS DRACONIS WAS FACING CETIS AND COZAL. AS HE SPOKE, HE BOBBED UP AND DOWN, AS IF ATTEMPTING TO PUPPET THE POOR WARRIOR. "SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD PLAN, BUT THE MORE THE MERRIER, I SAY. COME LET US TAKE ALL WITH US. SO SAYS THE MIGHTY SPACE DRAGON WARRIOR!"

[Monika]

"Oh. My. God. This is unreal!"

After what felt like a month of scrubbing and exfoliating and rinsing, Cydney had finally allowed Artemis to get out of the bathtub - only to immediately shove her into a salon chair and begin poking and prodding her with all manner of cosmetic instruments. After what felt like a few more weeks of that, the young fashion designer could not believe what she saw.

"Your hair! It's completely straight! And your eyes! They're not carrying any bags! And your skin!" Cydney got a little too close to Artemis and began lightly caressing her arm. "It feels like actual silk! You look like a...like a-"

"Like a princess?" one of the maidservants offered.

"Or a queen!" replied the other.

"Or a goddess!" Cydney said. "This might be my greatest piece of artwork yet! Have you ever considered modeling? We have got to get you in front of a camera and-"

"Your comments do not go unappreciated," Artemis finally said, "but I believe you're missing the most critical part here."

"Hmm?" Cydney gave the Immortal a quizzical look. "And what might that be?"

"I'm still not wearing any clothes," she answered, her tone as neutral as ever.

True enough, Artemis was wearing nothing more than a towel that had been securely fastened around her torso. What's more, she hadn't actually had the time to do laundry in weeks, so she didn't have any clean clothes to wear in the first place. Not that Cydney would have let her get away with wearing her normal robes, anyway.

"Duh. You are so right. I got so caught up in the undressing part that I almost forgot! Can't have you traipsing about in a towel, can we? We've got to get you into something fabulous!"

Truth be told, Artemis was generally unconcerned with her attire. Were it practical (and socially acceptable), she would have done just that - traipsing about in a towel. More than anything, she was just eager for the matter to be settled so she could return to her normal responsibilities.

"You could at least try to seem enthused, Artemis," Cydney said, her eyes roaming over the Immortal's body. She withdrew a pad of paper from her pocket and began jotting down notes.

"You'll forgive me if an imperially mandated dinner party is not my idea of a good time," Artemis retorted.

"I don't think anything is your idea of a good time. You really ought to learn to live a little. While you're still young, you know?"

Artemis didn't say anything, instead mulling over Cydney's words. She considered - for an incredibly brief moment - that maybe she had been overworking herself. At this rate, Emperor Awesome might force her to take a mandatory vacation. She recoiled at the idea.

"Say," Cydney began, looking up from her notepad. "Have you ever worn a dress?"

The question broke Artemis from her reverie. "Once," she replied. "A student of mine, Mara Lee, tricked me into wearing one during my doctoral studies."

"Oooh, that's a story you've got to share with me later!" Cydney giggled. "Do you still have the dress? I'm having trouble pinning down your style."

"If I do, it is probably buried somewhere in the old C.O.M.A.S. warehouse."

"Or in Asher's shrine," Cydney thought aloud.

"What?"

"Nothing. You two," Cydney said to the maidservants, "go get Asher and have him escort you to the old warehouse. I'll have him meet you downstairs." She grabbed a rainbow-colored phone from her pocket and fired off a few messages to the mage in question.

The two maids nodded and gave a slight bow before walking into the elevator.

"Once we have this old dress of yours, I'll have just the inspiration I need to put the finishing touches on you! Aren't you so excited?!"

Artemis sighed. "I can't wait..."

---

Amelia swallowed nervously. "Rival ninja clans?" she asked. "How terrifying!" I think I might have been a little too good at this distracting thing.

"Um...I've only been in the service of the empire for a short while, so I'm not entirely sure of everything the current administration may have done. And the current administration hasn't been there that long, either..."

This investigation is getting out of hand! she thought. All he wanted me to do was keep them busy for a little bit while he got things ready! How am I going to get out of this?

She sighed. "I don't think the emperor would have made any enemies in his short tenure, but it won't hurt to ask!" Starved of options, Amelia withdrew her imperial communications badge, clicked it twice, and waited for someone to pick up.

"Hello?" came a voice from the other end of the line.

"Hey, Emperor Awesome. It's me, Emily," Amelia answered.

"Ah, Ms. Robertson. You have excellent timing. Preparations here at the tower are just about complete. I trust that you are on your way with our guest?"

"Um...Not exactly. May I put you on speaker badge for a second?"

There was a pause, the sound of a deep breath, and then...

"Of course. The queen is with you now, I take it?" Emperor Awesome asked.

"She is, as well as some of her royal ninja. Give me just a second, here..." Amelia clicked the badge a few more times, and soon the emperor's voice was loud and clear enough for everyone there to hear.

"Queen Francine, it is a pleasure to be able to speak to you, though I was hoping this conversation would be in person."

Amelia nodded. "Her Majesty has been very gracious and I would love for you to meet her face-to-face as well. She's such a delight to be around. Unfortunately, we ran into a bit of a snag..."

There was a peculiar sound from the badge - a trained ear might recognize it as a brow being furrowed against a metal helmet - and then the response. "A snag, you say? Would you care to elaborate, Ms. Robertson?"

"Yes, Emperor. While you were there getting things ready in Awesome Land, I was resting in one of Her Majesty's guest rooms and...awoke to find myself completely naked, with all of my spare clothes stolen." She spoke slowly and deliberately, hoping the emperor caught her drift.

"I see," was all Emperor Awesome managed to say.

Amelia continued. "Preliminary investigation by her royal ninja suggests that this is the handiwork of a rival ninja clan. The royal ninja themselves have been absolved of guilt by the properties of a magical weapon, the True Sword. We suspect the culprit might be a ninja or group of ninja that wanted to sabotage Awesome Land's attempt at building relations with Really Cool Land."

"Someone with ninja abilities who would be likely to know about our upcoming dinner plans and have reason to disrupt them and threaten Awesome Land's future. Someone who has reason to target me, specifically, since I was the one who requested this dinner and any grudges they might have had with previous administrations should have disappeared once they ended. You're saying that this would be the profile of our culprit?"

"That...that about sums it up, yes." Amelia was taken aback by the emperor's quick assessment of the situation. He didn't have a plan, did he?

There was the distinct brow-against-metal sound again.

"I understand that it's very unli-" Amelia began, but she was almost immediately cut off.

"I think I know just who might be responsible for this," Emperor Awesome said.

"You...you do?"

"Indeed. Shortly after Aurora's departure, a group of space ninja came to Awesome Land seeking asylum. In exchange for offering them refuge, I conscripted them into the Awesome Land Imperial Army to help take care of a...minor conflict." He decided not to elaborate on the details of the battle against Zais while he was on speaker badge. "It is very likely that they were not pleased with this arrangement, and now seek to sabotage my administration. It is truly a pity that we've had such a rocky start thus far."

"It...it really is," Amelia agreed, still entirely flabbergasted by this turn of events.

"Because the culprits are under my jurisdiction, I will handle the investigation from here. I'll ask that you come to dinner and put this unfortunate incident behind you. We needn't trouble you anymore than we already have, Queen Francine, and I am deeply sorry for the trouble we have already caused."

---

Alastor eventually slid all the way down to the bottom of the FORD laboratory, cradling his young lab assistant in his arms.

"Evangeline. Evangeline! Are you okay?"

The girl didn't respond.

"What's wrong? I'm sure I got to you before they were able to turn you into a test subject. Say something!"

The continued pleading didn't yield better results, and Evangeline remained silent.

Alastor drew in a deep breath and exhaled sharply. Has her body just shut down due to the stress? I've got to get her to a hospital, quickly. Or at least to a place with standard medical equipment. Remembering that he was a doctor, Alastor realized he might be able to help Evangeline himself if he only had access to a lab with the right tools. The irony that he had just escaped from such a place was not lost on him.

"Then it's going to have to be a hospital," he muttered. "But where?" He looked around at the unfamiliar territory of Space Land; all he saw were dark alleyways and seedy peddler-types. Despite being a whole planet away, the place didn't seem too dissimilar from some of the poorer parts of Awesome Land he'd been to before. Definitely not the place to take an injured girl.

"I've got to find a hospital...fast," he said, and he began running in a random direction as quickly as he could with Evangeline over his shoulder.

[Mizagium]

Queen Francine visibly deflated. “Space Ninjas.” With the True Sword slung over one shoulder, she tapped at her lips, thinking. “Now that you mention it, I seem to recalls us having an issue with such a thing a while back. Maybe fifteen or sixteen years ago? I believe it was just after that whole Mystic Land adventure.”

Hrathen cleared his throat. “Ah, Your Majesty…”

“Yes, it was right around when Jonathan disappeared – and Johnny appeared. Ah!” She snapped her fingers. “Silly me. Not space ninjas – Star Samurai!” She laughed at old times. “Ah, we sent the Dark Daimyou home limping, we sure did.” A sigh escaped her lips. “Good times.”

Hrathen cleared his throat again. Louder and sharper.

“Right, right. Well, Miss Robertson, it seems the case of the clothing kleptomaniac has taken an unexpected turn. While I’m terribly sorry that this happened at all, I hope you won’t be offended if I say that I’m very glad it wasn’t a rival clan in Really Cool Land.”

She paused, uncertain how exactly to continue. So instead she settled for talking at Emily. “And Emperor Awesome, I would be delighted to finally attend this dinner. Allow me and my husband a short time to prepare and we will arrive – with your lovely assistant, Emily, in tow. Once again, our sincerest apologies for the lapse in security. You know, we recently contracted Leon Veralice for palace security. He’s been working with the Thundercougerfalconbird Clan, and I suppose they haven’t worked all the kinks out just yet.”

On cue, Veritaz materialized out of the shadows.

“Veritaz, fetch the King, if you would. Tell him to get ready for dinner on the double.”

“Of course, my Queen.” When he turned to go, he muttered to Hrathen and Azzi, “It seems you two are off the hook for now,” which was about as close to an apology as they were going to get.

Francine nodded. “Good. Now, I shall change as well. Miss Robertson you are more than welcome to dress for the occasion here, although I will understand if you are uncomfortable and would rather wait until we return. You two.” She pointed at Azzi and Hrathen. “Wait here. Ladies?”

Suddenly six kunoichi – female ninja for you baka gaijin – appeared. “You are to provide escort detail for Emily here. If she wishes to dress or otherwise leave the parlor, please accompany her; if she elects to stay, remain.”

As a team they bowed. Satisfied, Francine left to dress.

-

Ten minutes or so later, the King and Queen emerged, dressed in a manner befitting royalty attending a dinner hosted by an Emperor. So, you know, suit and a dress ad furs and such. Look, man, I don’t know fashion. Use your imagination. Or better yet, Google “fancy king and queen” and pick your favorites.

“Thank you for your patience,” she told everyone (including Emperor Awesome if he was still connected with Emily.) “It’s felt like years since we first got the invite, but now I think it’s finally time to go.”

“Yes, dear,” King Randolph agreed, patting her on the hand. Curiously, he wore the True Sword, now sheathed, on his belt.

“Now,” Francine said, shushing the King. “Hrathen and Azzi, you have served us well, and I have treated you unfairly today. I would like to formally apologize and request that you accompany us as our personal Honor Guard.”

Hrathen opened his mouth to protest but was quickly intercepted by Veritaz. “Ah, Your Majesties, are you sure that’s…? Wouldn’t you rather…? I must insist that I be the one to - “

“You will remain here,” Francine cut in sharply. Veritaz stiffened but shut his mouth. More softly, she continued. “I need you to sure up the palace defenses with the rest of the clan and with Leon’s new security systems. Although these Space Ninja are Awesome Land’s problem, they still were able to infiltrate far too easily. You are the head of the clan – there is no other we can trust to carry out this duty. Besides, you’ve trained these boys well, and we are going into friendly territory, for once.”

Veritaz made no effort to hide the displeasure on his face, nor the fact that he had many, many things to say to that, but he was too well trained. Too loyal. Unbeknownst to anyone but those able to read the subtle facial expressions of ninja, Vertiaz looked to the King and what followed was a lightning-fast exchange in which Randolph conveyed he wasn’t thrilled with the idea either, but was helpless against Francine’s wishes.

“Very well, Your Majesty,” Veritaz said to the Queen. “I apologize for speaking out of turn.”

She shook her head. “No need, Veritaz. We have ever valued your input, but in this case, I must ask you to trust my judgement.”

“As you say.”

Everyone heard the disapproval in his voice. Francine wasn’t looking for approval in this matter, just obedience – and she got it. Strict obedience was not something she usually demanded from the Clan. She’d made it a point, even more so than Randolph, to befriend the Clan and work with them. She had always felt uncomfortable with that level of loyalty. While she’d told herself it was just polite and the right thing to do, the truth was closer to a means of assuaging her guilt an insecurity.

Now, as she snapped at Veritaz, who had been the hardest won, but most satisfying victory, she felt that old, familiar stab of guilt. She hoped she never forgot that feeling, because she hated it. And not for the first time, she wondered if her husband ever felt similarly. Francine had never spoken about it to him; how could he – noble by birth – ever understand.

Now annoyed, she snapped at the boys, too. “Well, shape up! Time to go.” She fixed her gaze on Emily. “Miss Robertson, if you please?”

-

Astro City. Space Land. Hardly anyone remembered the true name of the planetoid these days. Space Land. It only came up in history class, or corrected by the most pedantic of pedants. That was the thing about city-worlds – ecumenopolii: eventually one name surfaced to consume all the others. Space Land once had smaller political divisions, each with their own history and culture of which they were proud; they flew flags and sang songs. Now they were only footnotes, museum pieces, obscure factoids and trivia questions on Tuesday at the bar that only one person might sort-of-remember.

Tai Ken Obara was one of those people, and his was personal. His home, Bashogaukre, sat on one of the last natural regions of Space Land. And they called it that – Space Land. Astro City had so far never taken their homeland. Not for lack of trying, either. Every solar cycle, some bureaucrat made a move to bring the land into the ‘modern age’ but without fail, the Bashogakure Preservation Group rebuffed with ancient laws and treaties, legal documents that had been established at the beginning of the Astro City expansion. As the Astro City government still existed, and had not been overthrown, reformed, or otherwise fundamentally changed from the time that the documents had been penned.

So why then was he here – patrolling the Astro City slums in full Star Samurai regalia? Because sometimes life is ironic. Despite the pride in Bashogakure, and the very real desire to have it remain as the virtual time capsule that it was, Tai Ken had grown bored of the pastoral life, and left for the City. As cliché as it was to refer to it like that – with a capital C – it was literally the city on Space Land.

After nearly flunking out of the Star Samurai program, Tai Ken had been assigned one of the garbage patrols in the slums. His commanding officer hadn’t actually named the sector, just handed him the papers and said ‘slums’. The docs read “Sector 00B-E23”, but Tai Ken had learned both the historical name (Shinkukabe) and the current name (Financial District). Part of the route took him along the infamous Shogunate Megacomplex, the cancerous mass of hypersteel and plastocrete that, like Astro city at large, had grown outward from the old Shogunate Palace to incorporate the former Capital District. Now it housed all aspects of the government, military, and even the secretive FORD Laboratories.

As these things go, crime was concentrated in the area where you would expect it to be least desirable. Something about it being near the government felt a bit too on the nose to Tai Ken.

Per Star Samurai tradition, Tai Ken didn’t patrol alone. His partner lagged behind, taking low drags off a bootleg real-tobacco cigarette. Tai Ken didn’t approve, so he was politely given a wide berth. Yoshimatsu Shimura – Yoshi to his friends – had been Tai Ken’s friend from almost the first day in the Academy. And it had been all downhill from there. Provided the nickname TKO, Tai Ken had become an (at first) unwilling participant in Yoshi’s hijinks. From panty raids to obscene graffiti to rearranging all the books in the library, the two of them developed a reputation as clowns. Only a few last-minute asspulls on their exams and a remarkable demonstration of swordplay allowed them to graduate at all.

That they’d been granted ability crystals was an actual miracle.

“Hang on a sec,” Yoshi called suddenly.

Tai Ken slowed but didn’t stop. “What’s up?”

“Dropped my lighter.”

He stopped and sighed. “Really?”

It wasn’t a joke. Yoshi fumbled at his pockets and stuck wriggling fingers in the gaps between his armor, where he sometimes stored cigarettes. “I’m serious, man. I can’t find it.”

“Where’d you last have it?”

“If I knew that,” Yoshi began, but trailed off. “Back at that last main intersection. Wait here, I’ll be right back.”

“Yoshi - “ but his partner was already jogging back down the path. Tai Ken didn’t offer to help, but neither did he tell him to forget it. Yoshi had offered numerous different stories as to the origin of that lighter, but Tai Ken gathered it was old and important to him in some meaningful way. Smoking he didn’t approve of, but mementos were completely different.

It was lucky that Yoshi had dropped his lighter, then, because if he hadn’t, Tai Ken wouldn’t have been waiting at the mouth of that particular alley at the base of the Shogunate Megacomplex. He had glanced down into the alley, but eventually turned his back and waited. Several minutes went by. Alarms blared distantly, but were lost among the cacophony of City life. He thought he heard an explosion, but it was too distant (and too high) for it to be more than a curious detail.

So it was in complete surprise that Alastor – carrying the limp form of Evangeline – crashed into the back of Tai Ken, taking them all down in a heap.

Tai Ken managed to turn onto his side mid-fall, and roll awkwardly to a crouch. It was embarrassing to be caught unawares like that, and if his superiors had seen that, he’d have been reprimanded for it. Luckily no one was around. People tended to duck out of sight when Star Samurai made the rounds, which suited him just fine.

The offenders were a strange man and a strange woman. They wore clothes he didn’t recognize, and something about their facial features marked them as foreigners. The man was bent over the woman, who was not moving. The man hardly even realized Tai Ken was there, he was so intent on the woman. She wasn’t moving, and Tai Ken finally realized it had nothing to with the fall. She was injured, was bruised and – burned? Events connected themselves in his mind and he glanced upward.

Smoke billowed out of the far distant floor of the Shogunate Megacomplex.

“Are you – is she alright?”

It was then that Yoshi jogged back onto the scene, brandishing a palm-sized lighter, flecked with peeling gold leaf and embossed with the from of a nude woman. “Got it! Some rando slumslug found it and…” he slowed as the scene realized itself to him. The lighter disappeared and his hand went to his sword. “Officer Obara, what’s going on?”

Tai Ken appreciated the overly formal manner of address, as it forced his thoughts to crystallize. “Office Shimura,” he said, mostly to keep up the act. “These two appeared out of the alley just a moment ago. He – the woman is unresponsive. Other than that… “ he jerked his up at the smoke. Yoshi followed with his eyes only, flicking them upward, then back down to the foreigners. His eyes narrowed.

“How do we proceed?”

“Perimeter?”

Yoshi hesitated, then drew his sword. The folded hypersteel katana glinted in the streetlights. The thumbnail-sized clear crystal decorated the hilt. He gripped it with two hands and held it horizontally in front of him so that it covered his eyes, blade edge facing upward.

“Anatagamie, Kidone!” The blade glowed faintly. Yoshi turned it so that the edge faced away from him, revealing his eyes, and slashed it away from him. His normally hazel irises had changed, becoming a undulating rainbow. He swept his gaze left to right, then around and back.

“Clear.” He started to sheathe the sword, when Tai Ken stopped him.

“No, don’t. Not yet.”

Yoshi grumbled, but left his blade drawn and stepped closer.

Satisfied, Tai Ken finally stood from his crouch and drew his own katana, similarly decorated with a clear crystal. “Kakashite, Kurosora!” Black mist started to emanate from the sword. Tai Ken tapped the tip against the ground, which left a black pool of mist. Without scraping, he kept the sword low to the ground and walked a circle around Alastor, Evangeline, and Yoshi, trailing black mist all the way. When he reached the point of origin, he speared the pool, which stuck on the sword, and traced an arc overheard. The black mist completely enshrouded them. But the darkness only lasted a moment, quickly becoming transparent but for a wavering sheen in the air that marked the boundary of the concealment.

“There,” Tai Ken said, keeping his sword drawn, “now we won’t be seen or heard. Yoshi, keep watch.” He knelt again beside Alastor and Evangeline. “My name is Tai Ken. What’s going on. Who are you? Is this woman injured?”

[Calefrun]

Cetis shrugged. "Eh, I'll make sure he doesn't miss too much. Might as well let the kid have some fun while he still can."

He danced open a portal and nodded to Allie, who took a step forward and motioned for Cozal to follow. The boy followed wordlessly, glad to exchange the current, bizarre scenery for... well, slightly less bizarre scenery.

"I'll catch up with you guys in a bit," Allie said before the two of them disappeared into the portal.

Once the portal was closed, the Illusive Squid turned back to GOLDBEZ. "Now then, is there any chance you know where Bill Nye is right now? If not, we should probably start the search in Super Land. I've heard that the Immortals have set up something of a headquarters there, so it may be worth checking out."

[Bruce Leroy]

“Shit!” Cod shouted as he jumped out of the way of the lightning. “Well that complicates things.” He stated as he was rolling through his dive.

MGF dove behind a stack of creates. “You know,” he yelled at Cod, “this is why you aren’t supposed to run head on into confrontation you idiot.” Reaching into his bag he thought to himself ‘how was this idiot my rival… oh I never actually confronted him… I used the gears… I need better minions.’ He pulled out a set of rubber gloves and put them on. “You can take you lightning and shove it!” he declared as he jumped out from his cover. Running towards the pair he began to shoot his shotgun towards the pair.

Cod not wanting to be overshadowed by his newfound companion followed into combat. With his pistols drawn he began to shoot as well.

-

The Captain looked at Corvus, “Look mate, don’t quest’n how the science of it all works. We don’t be knowin’ how it is hap’n. Just thought it be magic but it works. Do ye want to go on an adventure in the stars or not?”

[Myrdraxxis]

Roewk took the lead and explained what had happened at the rave. By this point he had it committed to memory. Dace listened quietly until he was finished and then sighed. “Never a dull moment around here, huh?” He leaned back in his- rather nice, office chair and stared up at the ceiling. “My condolences for Ollie.” He murmured. “I didn’t know her but…” He trailed off and the room was silent for a moment. Roewk cleared his throat.

“Thank you. This murder and the being that took Ollie’s power-it…I’ve never seen anything like it before.”

“To be completely honest, that doesn’t surprise nearly as much as it should. My tolerance for weird happenings has gone up a lot lately.” Dace sat back up. “You all think this is really bad news though? If the whole Council is worried then I guess it’s something that needs dealing with. I can still track Heimrall, I think. Assuming she’s still with that ‘Sark’ guy that Artemis mentioned at the meeting.” He stood up and began pacing. “It’s faint and really hard to focus on-like trying to hear and see through water, but I can…” He shut his eyes and grimaced, rubbing his nose. “Sorry, this is still really new to me.” He looked back at both of them. “I’m not sure what all I can do about this power thief, but I can work on finding Heimrall. Is everyone gathering at the uh…Council chamber thingy?”

---

Leske stared in mounting horror at Bushido Jones’ hair. Then at Bushido Jones. The man was maintaining his pose, despite several minutes having passed. Finally Gree cleared his throat and said, “Uh…thanks for the…help?”

The one man Jones had managed to knock flat groaned.

Jones seized the opportunity and flashed a thousand watt grin that made Gree feel like he was getting sunburned. “No trouble at all my man. Gotta watch your step around these parts or the damn Yaks will walk all over you.” He kicked one of the downed men for emphasis. “So what brings you folks way out here? Never seen a ship like yours roll through here before.”

“You know that ship is ours?” Leske asked sharply. Jones laughed.

“Buddy, I’d say the whole station knows by now.” Leske and Gree traded a glance.

“I’m looking for someone.” Leske replied as Gree turned and muttered a few commands to his team. Leske described Magnus as best he could, feeling frustration well up inside him as he did. The more he thought about it, the likelier it was that Magnus had changed his appearance. And his range of search was space. It was borderline impossible-

“Yeah I think I saw that guy.”

…

“Pardon?” Leske asked Jones. The ronin shrugged.

“Sounds like this drifter that rolled through here a few months ago. Made a big stir cause he was showing off some fancy moves that no one could really explain. Completely destroyed the rival yakuza clan and let these miserable simps take over.”

“Where did he go?”

Bushido Jones eyed him for a moment then said, “Uh so look. You all seem like a bunch of cool guys and gals-“ he winked at Kayla, “but I’m kind of in a bind myself. I’ll tell you where he went-hell I could point it out on a star chart, but I need a favor in return.” He took a deep breath and clapped his hands together in an exaggerated begging motion. “Please take me with you so I don’t get turned into sushi.”

---

Azzi didn’t let Francine’s ire bother him. Royals could get moody like that. Instead he was just excited to finally have something important to do. Ever since that whole stopping a supernova thing, he’d been kinda bored of the work he was getting. ’Score!’ Azzi mentally cheered. Externally he simply dipped his head to the Queen politely. “It’s an honor, your highness. We’re at your disposal.” His eyes darted towards Veritaz and slightly, ever so slightly, the corners of his lips upturned into a smirk. Serves that asshole right.

“Miss Robertson, rest assured there will be no repeats of these unpleasant occurrences.” He said, but thought ’I’m watching you, thot.’.

He took a few steps over to Veritaz. “Suck it old man.” But thought, ’We’ll do our best to represent the Clan.’

Wait, shit, he’d gotten those mixed up.

[Sariel of Tevet]

The deflation beams hurled toward The Nightman’s crotch faster than you could say “holy shit grab one of your slaves and place them in front of the beam, sire”. Apologies, my prince, I know that wasn’t very subtle but you know you aren’t a very gifted fighter. No clones ever are. I’ll be quiet.

The Nightman, brave as could be and sparkling with darkness infused sexual energy, heroically lunged forward to grab a female slave by the waist and shoved her down in front of his glorious splendor IN AN ENTIRELY NON SEXUAL WAY. The deflation beams struck her right in the chest. Well, in Whoville they say – that the servants large breasts shrank three sizes that day. And then – the true meaning of evil came through, and The Nightman found the strength of ten Nightmen, plus two!

He threw the girl down on the ground, pulled a college science textbook out of his belt, and threw it at her. This, as you all know, is the customary manner in which one releases a buxom female servant from her duty after such a time she becomes an uggo, and sends them to college where they belong.

The Nightman took stooped over and slammed his fist into the wall. “Project: Midnight may have taken quite a bit from you, and now I’m wishing it had taken much more, but nothing will ever compare to what you just took from me, infernal peasant!”

The Nightman started to pelvic thrust into various directions, as dark strands of pomp sprouted forth from his girded loins. The wisps of sexual energy hurled their way down corridor after corrido until they reached their targets. The sleeping, cloned, robot clone army awoke from the ginger touch of The Nightman’s pomp all up in their business.
Lacking all necessity for doors or manners (manners wouldn’t be included for at least three more updates), the cloned, robot clones tore through the walls of the hideout until at least a dozen of them were at The Nightman’s side.
“Now, what a sexy little roll call this is. It doesn’t quite matter if we can see this…thing…or not. Swarm the vents. You’ll strike it eventually.”

The squadron of pompdroids with their junior codpieces climbed the walls, punched their way through the ceiling, and began to shuffle around the ducts for the one responsible for the tragic loss of beeb.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Heimrall held the dagger in her hands, tilting it upside down and sideways to look at it from every angle possible. It was like nothing she had ever seen before. What was strangest of all, was the fact that there were little waves all along the blade. The lines were a faint brown color and they sparkled almost like quartz. She squinted at it until she realized it was infused with sand, the sand of this world.

"I wonder if I can use this dagger thingy to get to the ship. It looks like it was forged with this weird time sand or something. "

[Monika]

A long while later, the elevator doors in the Imperial Dressing Room opened to reveal the two maidservants, gently cradling what appeared to be a long wooden casket.

Cydney paid them no mind at first, her eyes still roaming over Artemis' body, trying to pin down the Immortal's fashion style. Only after a few minutes (and polite throat clearing), did she verbally acknowledge the two. "Oh, were you guys successful in finding the dress?" she asked.

"Er...yes," one of the maids answered.

"Though Asher was not as...forthcoming with the garment as we would have liked," the other added.

"Forthcoming?" Cydney finally looked over at the maids, shifting her gaze between the two and then to what they were holding. "What the...Is that a mahogany chest?" She approached the two, running her hand along the smooth finish of the case.

The maids nodded. "He has taken surprisingly good care of it," one said.

"It's almost kind of creepy. Suffice it to say, he only felt comfortable parting with it on two conditions."

"Conditions?" Cydney asked. "And what might those be?"

"The first is that he gets a selfie with Artemis some time after the party is over." The maid looked over cautiously at the Immortal of Space, unsure of how she'd respond.

"That's fine," Artemis answered. "I offered the same to Leon when he asked me to sign his textbook. It is a trivial matter. What's the other condition?"

The second maid cleared her throat again. "Ahem...The other condition is that...you don't get mad."

"Mad? About what?"

"That's the thing, miss. He didn't exactly specify. All he said was that you'd know when the time comes, and that you can't get mad at him when it does."

Artemis sighed, and for a fleeting moment she recalled her training with Knox. "I'm angry with enough people," she responded. "Whatever Asher has done - or is planning to do - couldn't possibly upset me any more than the deeds of some others already have. I promise not to get mad at him for it."

"Very well. I don't think the chest would have opened otherwise."

As if on cue, a dim blue aura shimmered around the outside of the case, accompanied by a light humming sound. The two maids gently placed the case down on a nearby table, carefully lifting the lid and setting it aside. They reached their arms inside and, after some very meticulous unfolding, produced a beautiful red dress. It was rather simple in its design - not too busy except for a few ruffles around the shoulders. And the garment had a notable sheen to it under the light of the dressing room. They held the dress out for Artemis' and Cydney's review.

The two wordlessly looked over the garment for a time and, after a while, it was Cydney who broke the silence. "Oh. My. God! This dress is gorgeous, Artemis! Where did you even get something like this?"

"From school," Artemis answered.

"From...school?" Cydney repeated. She let the question hang in the air for a while, her silence demanding a continuation to that story.

"It was a gift for becoming Sugoi Land's Mathemagic League Champion," Artemis said, opting not to elaborate any further.

Cydney shrugged, deciding not to press the matter. "Well, it's absolutely stunning, wherever you got it from. I don't know why I didn't see it before. Red is totally your color! It'll contrast beautifully with your eyes and hair. And - " She glided a few fingers along the dress, her eyes widening in awe. "- that's totally silk velvet! Real silk velvet! Not that cheap rayon hybrid crap. It's like running my hands through...I don't even have an analogy here! It's just super soft! Being League Champion must be a really big deal."

"It was an assignment that I completed like any other," Artemis replied.

"Modest as ever, I see," Cydney said. "But there is something about this dress that bothers me. It'll suit you well enough - it's a charming red and elegant design - but it doesn't really scream 'Artemis', you know?"

"Doesn't 'scream Artemis'?"

"Yeah. Like, when you think 'Artemis', what's the first thing that comes to your mind?"

Artemis considered the question. Was it another of those 'feeling' questions like Knox had asked her during their training, one whose answer could only be found through instinct? If so, she might be there for an eternity trying to formulate a response. Still, she closed her eyes and pondered over Cydney's words to see what she might come up with before the end of time.

Drawing in a deep breath, she said, "When I think 'Artemis'...When I think of myself...I am Awesome Land's Director of Homeland Security." The answer was a weak one and she knew it. Her appointment to that position was only a recent development and it had hardly had time to make itself one of her defining characteristics.

So she tried again. "When I think of myself, I am...the Immortal of Space." That, too, lacked conviction. While she had been an Immortal for much longer than she had been a government employee, she had only just gotten in touch with her powers over the past few months, and had been actively using them to improve the world for even less time than that. Being the Immortal of Space hadn't yet become a core part of her character and, with the way things had been going thus far, she wasn't sure that she wanted it to be.

One last attempt, then. She exhaled the breath she had been holding in, shut her eyes more tightly, and said, "When I think of 'Artemis', I think of..."

Her eyes opened suddenly.

"Mathemagic," she said. "When I think of myself, I think of mathemagic. I have formally studied the subject for a decade, and even during my childhood it was the field to which I gravitated the most." She was surprised that the answer didn't come to her sooner. Artemis glanced over to the bathtub, the Mathamune resting at its side. When she was looking for a weapon to fight Sark, she had her choice of literally any weapon on the planet (a perk of being able to teleport). Yet, without hesitation, she had gone for the Mathamune, the second-most powerful mathemagical blade in the world. It wasn't a Hystoger or Excalibob. It wasn't even the best sword, combat-wise. But, by virtue of being a mathemagic weapon, it was familiar and, in a way, comforting. She made a note to thank Sark for helping her through this little self-discovery exercise later.

"I am a mathemagician," she said again, as if to make certain. "Mathemagic is my defining feature, a core part of who I am. It is the tool I use to understand the world around me...and to understand myself as well."

Cydney beamed at the answer. "Beautiful, Artemis. Simply beautiful. Artemis: Mathemagician!" The designer framed her fingers together and looked at Artemis, nodding her approval. "It makes perfect sense. Now I've just got to translate that essence into something wearable. Hmm..."

Not a second later, the girl snapped her fingers and let out a sharp gasp.

"I've got it!" she shouted. "I know just how to make this a real Artemis dress! You don't mind if I make a few modifications to it, do you?"

"I didn't even intend to wear this dress again," Artemis replied. "Whatever you need to do to it to prepare me for this party is fine. Just be expedient about it, please."

"Your enthusiasm knows no limits!" Cydney draped the dress over her shoulder and made her way to the elevator. "I'm going to take this to the embossery downstairs. Be back in a jiffy! You two," she said, addressing the maids, "see if you can find a nice accessory for her to wear. Nothing super ridiculous or over-the-top. Make sure it's a very Artemis thing to wear, okay?"

The two maids looked at Cydney as she disappeared through the doors, then to each other, and then to Artemis. "Um...You wouldn't happen to have an accessory too, would you, miss?" one asked tentatively. "A ring or a bracelet, perhaps?"

Artemis sighed. "I used to wear a necklace when I was in high school. I stopped wearing it when it became too time-consuming to put on in the mornings. That time was better allocated elsewhere."

"Probably about the same time you stopped combing your hair," the other maid muttered, recalling just how long she had to spend removing tangles from the Immortal's hair.

Ignoring the comment, Artemis said, "If I still own the necklace, then it is probably in the C.O.M.A.S. warehouse as well. Or in Asher's possession, apparently."

The maids shuddered together. "We'll be off, then. Let's hope he gives this one up a bit more easily..."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

An even longer while later, after being left alone in a towel for a suitable amount of time, Artemis finally saw the elevator doors open once again. Cydney stepped out of them, barely able to contain the smile on her face. She kept her arms behind her back, very obviously carrying the dress with her.

"Man, I think I might have actually outdone myself," she said, beaming. "Where are those two maids? I can't reveal the dress until they get back. Gotta see how it'll match the accessory they picked. Plus, the unveiling of this dress deserves a much larger audience."

On cue, the maids emerged from the elevator next, carrying a small, ornate jewelry box.

"Asher was much more willing to hand this one over," one said.

"He said he knew we'd be back for it, which is why he asked for two conditions in the first place. He let us walk out with this one free of charge," the other added.

"Mmm. Asher was always pretty clever. So, don't keep us in suspense!" Cydney used her free hand to motion toward Artemis. "What'd you guys bring for her?"

The two nodded and walked over to the Immortal. One maid opened the box and retrieved the article within. It was a simple golden chain with a cloudy, triangular gem hanging from the bottom. The other maid stepped behind Artemis and fastened it securely around her neck. The fogginess in the jewel faded, giving way to a dull shade of pink.

"Hmm. Is that a...mood necklace?" Cydney asked.

"Indeed. It even came with a color chart in the box," a maid answered.

"Neat. I didn't think they made those that...fancy looking. I'm only used to seeing the cheap plastic trinkets you can win at carnivals and those overpriced arcade restaurants. What's pink mean?"

The maid removed a sheet of paper from the jewelry box and read, "A pink color indicates mild irritation. The deeper the hue, the more annoyed the wearer is with the current situation."

"Ugh. Artemis!" Cydney glared at her for a brief moment before waving the situation aside. "Well, let's see if that doesn't change when I show you this!"

The fashion designer finally revealed what she had been hiding behind her back the entire time. The dress, which had once been plain red - pretty but otherwise unremarkable - now had intricate patterning woven throughout. Each pattern took the shape of a Fibonacci spiral, etched into the dress with golden thread. When the light from the dressing room struck the dress just right, it seemed almost to sparkle like a starlit sky.

"So...What do you think?" Cydney asked. "The thread I used for the patterns was made of actual gold. They just have spools of the stuff downstairs! Being the emperor of such a massive country has the best perks. You think Emperor Awesome would let us govern for a day? We could make the most amazing outfits with all these sparkly imperial things!"

But Artemis said nothing, staring at the dress with her usual focused, determined, unreadable expression.

Cydney frowned. "Look, I know it's probably not flawless. Math was actually my worst subject in school, so I kind of had to play the design by ear. But I hope you at least...kind of like it? Maybe? I can go back and-"

Artemis took a step closer and pulled the dress up to her eyes for an even closer inspection. After a long and (for Cydney) very awkward silence, Artemis finally spoke. "The spirals...The ratios...It's mathematically perfect, down to the millionth decimal place. This accuracy is beyond belief for someone with no formal mathemagical training."

Cydney let out a sigh of relief. "So...does that mean you like it?"

"If I have to wear a dress tonight," Artemis said, "then I am glad it is this one."

The grin finally returned to the designer's face. "I'll take it! Now, let's get you into this dress so we can get you out to that party!"

And as Cydney prepared to help Artemis into the newly approved dress, her eyes flitted to the pendant around the Immortal's neck, catching a glimpse of a dark, bluish-green hue.

"Hey, what's turquoise mean?" she asked.

From the color chart, the maid read, "Turquoise means that the wearer is in a relaxed but alert state. The darker the shade, the more the wearer's interest is piqued or she is otherwise impressed by the current situation."

Cydney smiled. "Perfect."

---

The queen's detail of kunoichi had been kind enough to escort Amelia to a room where she could pick up a spare dress, courtesy of the royal tailor-ninja (which any good king and queen have). She wasn't entirely sure how she was expected to dress for this event. She had gone to Really Cool Land as an act of official imperial business, wearing a suit jacket and skirt as a result. Now, at the journey's end, she had worn everything from that suit to a nightgown to some extra robes to nothing at all. In truth, she wasn't even sure she was actually invited to the event. The emperor had made it clear that the dinner was to smooth relations with foreign royalty, and royalty she was not - at least not as far as anyone there was concerned. Still, to cover her bases, she took a cute black dress since the queen had been kind enough to offer it, and decided she'd change back at the Imperial Tower if the occasion called for it.

Eventually, Amelia made her way back to the main parlor, where she found Queen Francine ready to go and Azzi offering his assurances that the night's events wouldn't happen again. Something about the way he said it made her slightly uneasy, but she simply replied, "Thank you, Azzi." As an afterthought, she winked and added, "I'm sure you'll take good care of us."

Once the rest of the group was ready to depart, Amelia led the way back to Awesome Land. For a moment, she regretted not asking the emperor for a vehicle at the start of her mission. She had been able to walk to Really Cool Land fairly quickly - an effortless feat for a trained ninja - but she wasn't sure the king and queen would be able to do the same. Then again, her little traveling party had more people than she'd originally anticipated, so any vehicle she'd gotten - short of a bus - wouldn't have been able to handle them all.

Now might be a good time to call the emperor, she thought.

Clicking her communication badge a couple times, she said into it, "Emperor Awesome."

"Yes, Emily?" came the reply.

"We are currently en route to Awesome Land. My guests include the king, the queen, and a handful of their ninja guards."

"Oh my. I thought it was only Queen Francine who was planning to attend."

"There was a change of plans," she said. "While I wouldn't mind walking back, I don't think it would be proper to ask the royal family to do the same. Do you think you could arrange transportation for us?"

"Hmm, that shouldn't be too much of a problem. Artemis could take care of that in an instant, though I was hoping to go without asking her to work for a little while." Emperor Awesome sighed, and there was the recognizable sound of a metal palm striking a metal helmet from his end of the line. "More of a concern is making sure the banquet hall is equipped to accommodate the extra guests. Well, there's no use fussing over it now. I'll take care of this side. You'll have your transportation momentarily."

The badge clicked off and, a few seconds later, there was a portal hovering in front of Amelia and company.

"Well," she said, "if you all don't mind portal travel, here's our ride to Awesome Land."

And, assuming no one in her group had any objections, she walked through the portal, the other characters presumably following closely behind.

---

Amelia found herself and the rest of her group at the base of the Second Imperial Tower in no time. Before she could even raise her fist to knock, the huge double doors creaked open of their own accord, inviting them all to view the splendor within. White silk ribbons were strung from above, flowing in a magically conjured breeze next to crystalline chandeliers. On either side of room were arrays of chrome trays, boasting assorted foods both from inside and outside the country. In between was a black clothed table with enough chairs to seat sixteen. And at the very front of the room, atop a curtained hardwood stage, stood none other than Emperor Awesome himself.

"Welcome!" he announced, his voice echoing throughout the hall. "To Awesome Land!"

On cue, the multicolored banner that read, "Welcome, Queen Francine Mambutoo O'Malley!" in large gold print unfolded from the ceiling. Sketched next to it much smaller in purple marker was "and King Randolph & Friends."

"Ahem." Emperor Awesome nervously cleared his throat. "I hope you'll forgive that. We, ah, didn't realize how many guests we'd be having at first." Waving his hand dismissively, he added, "But no matter! The more the merrier, as they say. I've brought a few extra guests of my own, so I hope you don't mind. Artemis! Come down, if you would."

At the emperor's call, the Immortal of Space descended a set of steps and ended up onstage to his left. Her hair straightened, her eyes alert, her body draped in her glimmering Fibonacci dress, Artemis seemed as ready as she was ever going to be for the event. Even her mood necklace gave off a faint blue shine, the color of calm and relaxation.

"Your outfit really came together nicely!" Emperor Awesome said, genuinely surprised. "I'm very glad you could make it."

Artemis simply nodded, deciding not to mention that he had more-or-less forced her into attending.

"And I believe we are to have one more guest, though I am not sure where-"

Suddenly, Theo came strolling through the Imperial Tower doors, clad in a white suit and gold tie. "I sincerely apologize for being late," he said, his voice soft. "I had the worst time trying to decide what to wear. I hope this suit is okay. I don't do dark colors very well."

The emperor smiled from behind his helmet. "Nonsense, Theo! You're right on time. And I couldn't care less about the suit you wear - though I must admit it looks rather sharp on you. I'm just happy you're here! Now, how about we all take a seat and let this long-awaited dinner party commence!"

---

Alastor was still in fight-or-flight mode from his escape from the FORD laboratory, so when he ended up crashing into Tai Ken, he had steeled himself for another battle. When he saw that the man appeared to be a law enforcement official interested in their circumstances (and, more importantly, didn't appear to mean them harm), he let his guard down slightly, took a deep breath, and did his best to explain the situation.

"I'm...I'm Alastor," he began. "She - this girl - this is Evangeline. We're both from another planet, Earth, and ended up being captured during our first test spaceflight. We were brought to some kind of research center..." Glancing up to where Tai Ken had been looking, toward the smoke and fire billowing in the distance, Alastor said, "That one over there. Some snake-like scientist was going to dissect us for his research, so we had to escape. When we tried to run, he...He sent one of his science experiments after us, a girl who was able to conjure up sun-like fire at will. She...We barely made it out with our lives, and certainly not without a bit of damage."

The whole thing made even less sense when he said it out loud.

"You've got to believe us! We're - she's - in critical condition!" Alastor's eyes went back to Evangeline, where he noticed a number of burns across her body, some more serious than others. He winced. "I...I guess the steam explosion I rigged to cover our escape didn't really help in that regard. Please, sir, you've got to get us to a hospital, quick! I'll be fine for a bit, but she - Evangeline - she desperately needs medical attention. She doesn't have any powers to speak of, so I don't know how much longer she can last! Please..."

[Mizagium]

Arcturus sighed and selected another document from the pile. After several minutes of reading, he set it down in another, smaller pile. He had a system: documents were drawn from the haphazard assortment drawn from this office and others around the fort. After a cursory examination, it was placed into a stack for further review. Those stacks were, troop movements, supplies (which he was beginning to think needed further division into armaments and foodstuffs), maintenance, and civilian grievances.

This next document concerned a local settlement’s petition for additional medical supplies. Arcturus hesitated, wavering between the supplies pile and the civilian pile, before finally setting it by itself, as a new stack for medical issues. As he did so, he realized he would probably have to scrub each of the existing stacks for medical issues he’d glossed over.

This entire campaign was on the verge of collapsing. It was a wonder it hadn’t. Before departing, he had been so confident that a fresh injection of Star Samurai troops would be able to push through the stalemate and – well, not win the war, but certainly press toward some inevitable victory. Now…now he wasn’t so sure. Based on the lack of supplies, needed repairs, and general morale, a military victory seemed considerably less likely.

In fairness, he’d never promised a victory, exactly, simply a dignified end to the Ceinia campaign. And a peace treaty would be dignified. It would show the people that he cared for the troops, for the well-being of the people above conquest. He would have to be sure that the Shogunate didn’t loose too much in the treaty, then, if anything. If the Queen truly cared, then a simple end to the war should be sufficient. An agreement to cease the fighting and remain in the more or less established boundaries.

Besides, once his master plan was complete, he could return to decimate the Ceinians later.

He didn’t pick up another document. Instead, he rubbed his tired eyes and realized that it wasn’t just his eyes. His whole body slouched wearily. So much had happened in such a short time. He couldn’t remember sleeping since the night of the assassination. He no longer knew what standard day it was. He hadn’t checked on his Elites and their secret missions. He hadn’t heard from Ophiuchus. At least the meeting with the House Lords had gone well.

Unbidden, his mind replayed the events of the meeting again, subconsciously trying to pick out missed details, while a single word repeated over and over.

Tyrant.

Several hours ago...

The Shogunate Megacomplex sported many, many large open rooms officially labeled “conference rooms”. In actuality, due to the sheer size and amphitheater-style seating, a more appropriate name would be ‘arena,’ at least to Arcturus’ warrior mind. It had taken a bit of searching, but ultimately he had located an unused conference arena that wasn’t too big for his purposes. More effort had gone into that search that he had expected. Previous Shoguns, including Polaris, had dreamt on grandiose a scale; the Megacomplex had arisen between those Shoguns who had been expansionist, and the reactionary centrists, who wanted to sure up their holdings.

The whole complex had a perverse beauty to it. None of it was planned, exactly. Certain sections still retained their original topography and architecture to the point where it wouldn’t take an urban-planing historian to see. But many sections had been cannibalized, subsumed, or simply destroyed as the Capital District melded together over the centuries. It interested Arcturus very little, and some small part of him desired to burn the whole thing down and start over, but that would cause more riots than his regime change.

For one, such an act would displace millions from their jobs and homes, not to mention the incountable government agencies and their records which would have to be moved or backed up. For another, the Megacomplex had become a symbol of Astro City, a permanent fixture that represented much more than the Shogun ever could. The more Arcturus considered that, the more certain he became that it had to go.

He sat upon the raised platform at the base of the room, not a dais as he might had liked, but a comfortable chair he’d dragged in, himself. He didn’t plan on sitting once things go going, but even a tyrant had to rest.

The thought drew a wry smile from him. Tyrant. Is that what he was? Others certainly thought so. Megacomplex employees whispered it, the people talked about it, the media shouted about it. The assassination of Polaris all but announced it. Arcturus himself had not yet stopped to consider, to think of himself in that manner – he supposed tyrants rarely did. But now he waited, blissfully alone, and meditated on it.

Tyrant.

The outer doors were thrown open and thundered against the walls, and the procession began. The Four ancient Star Samurai house lords – the Daimyo – entered one by one, trailed by their entourage.

First to arrive was House Hokkaido which held Lunar Land, headed by Ishikawa, a severe man of approximately Arcturus’ age. Although his hair had long since grayed, he kept it dyed pitch-black; Arcturus could not recall his natural color, but it seemed Ishikawa desired it that way. He was the only one of the four to wear the ceremonial armor of his house, freshly polished, and gleaming ice-blue. Frostbite, Arcturus recalled the name of the armor.

Ishikawa refused to meet the Shogun’s gaze, for which the latter was glad; he’d faced the cold white eyes of the Daimyo once before, and did not relish having to do so again. Flanked by his daughters, Esshonai and Amarrea, who had both inherited their father’s sharp features and cold eyes, Ishikawa seated himself at the very lowest tier, which actually put him lower than Arcturus. Realization and irritation pulled at the corners of his eyes as soon as he was seated, but ever proud, Ishikawa would not rise to select a different seat. Esshonia and Amareea seated, as well. The Hokkaido honor guard, wearing more traditional red-and-gold armor (though adorned with icy blue sashes) positioned themselves around the trio, preventing anyone else from joining them.

Next in was Kurosaki Honshu, a much younger man with bleach-blonde hair and a too-confident grin. Arcturus had not liked this man – this boy – the last time they’d met, and it seemed not much had changed. He didn’t wear the Honshu House armor, nor even the formal ceremonial tan kimono that would also have been appropriate. Instead, he wore a loose-fitting yukata of clashing primary colors. Arcturus was sure he’d seen that exact garment not two days ago in some magazine or another. A fashion statement, then, among other things.

Kurosaki had inherited the position of Daimyo of Solar Land at the age of five, and had grown up wielding absolute power over his fiefdom. With no one to tell him no, to teach him the proper manner to behave, Kurosaki had grown into an arrogant punk who regularly terrorized his own family and the business they controlled. He acted like hot shit, but the Honshu dynasty was rapidly imploding, and would likely collapse in his – Arcturus’ - lifetime unless something changed. That was unlikely, given that his entourage was comprised entirely of equally cocky and rowdy youths, men and women, including his current item, a young man whose name Arcturus had not desire to learn or retain. They arranged themselves opposite the Hokkaidos, spreading out to encompass the whole row. Kurosaki and his lover sat together, but otherwise the punks sat randomly. Some even put their feet up. What arrogance.

Fujibayashi Shikaku entered third. The only woman of the Daimyo, Fujibayashi carried herself in a manner Arcturus thought was most like how a lord should. She walked with purpose, neither hurried nor lax, held her head up, but never looked down her nose at anyone. Her ceremonial violet-and-pink kimono was immaculate, sporting neither wrinkle, nor a seam out of place. Her makeup was subtle, but emphatic, and her dark hair was done up in an intricate pattern. Her soft green eyes met his and she spared him the fainest of smiles.

Arcturus immediately felt guilty for judging her appearance so critically. Fujibayashi had fought her entire life to be accepted by Ishikawa and Kuroaski’s predecessor, and both and regarded her merely as a girl. Women did not typically ascend to the role of Daimyo, even in Nebula Land, almost entirely by outdated traditions. She had been his first ally, and tried to be his friend through it all. They didn’t agree on every issue, but Arcturus was grateful to have her as an ally. A column of Star Samurai adorned with house-color sashes followed – all women, he noted – but what really caught his eye was sho she had on her arm.

Ryuugamine Kyushu, a diminutive old man and fourth of the Daimyo, escorted her into the room. Or maybe she escorted him. A head-and-a-half shorter than everyone else, Ryuugamine looked absolutely comical when compared to Fujibayashi. Almost completely bald, save for a few wisps of white hair, he more than made up for it with his bushy eyebrows that obscured his eyes. Just as well, too, for the old man was effectively blind. His robes were faded, but Arcturus knew them for black and silver, the colors of Asteroid Land.

Despite his size, Ryuugamine was known for being loud and obnoxious. Really, it was an all-encompassing joviality and friendliness, but people like Ishikawa hated that, and considered him a boisterous and air-headed buffoon. Arcturus didn’t mind either way; not for the first time, he thought the Kyushu Daimyo and Leporis would have been the best of friends if not for social class differences. Alone, Ryuugamine did not come with an entourage. Likely his numerous grandchildren and great-grandchildren had vied for the enviable position of accompanying him on official business, but he had apparently spurned them all in favor of the lovely Fujibayashi Shikaku. She dismissed her soldiers, and take with the old man several levels above Ishikawa. Her warriors took the level immediately above them, leaving the Honshu party with half the room to themselves. Several of the goons noticed this and, rather inelegantly, clambered onto the higher tiers.

While they settled themselves, Arcturus watched the two Daimyo. Was this telling of a coming alliance? An already forged one? He hadn’t caught wind of either scenario. The regime change and suring up assets hadn’t left him much time for political gossip, but this still warranted observations. Ryuugamine had held his position longer than even Ishikawa. Despite his off-putting personality, he was the most respected of the Daimyo. Fujibayashi, for her part, was still the least respected, thought, from what Arcturus could gather, it was almost entirely based on her gender. An alliance with between Shikaku and Kyushu would be…interesting.

Only once everyone was seated and more or less still did Arcturus rise.

Tyrant.

“I’m sure you’re wondering why I’ve gathered you all here,” he announced, fulfilling a long-forgotten childhood fantasy.

It was Kurosaki who spoke first, derailing Arcturus’ speech. “So did you kill them ninja freaks or what?”

Ishikawa’s head turned so fast, Arcturus swore he heard vertebrae snap.

“What?” Kurosaki snapped, “You got a problem, Sapphire?”

Ishikawa rose just as quickly, and Arcturus noticed suddenly that, not only was he the only one wearing armor, he was the only one with a sword! He gripped the blade, knuckles white with fury, but did not draw. Ishikawa still bound himself by the ancient bushido code more closely that the other Daimyo – if he drew his sword, he was honor-bound to draw blood. The strictest of adherents tended to interpret that rule as “kill someone” if it wasn’t a formal duel. Ishiskawa wasn’t normally that kind, but if Kurosaki pushed the right buttons.

“A problem,” Ishikawa agreed. “But not me. No. I do not have a problem.” The hand not still gripping his sword pointed an accusing finger. “It is you. You are the problem.”

Not Kurosaki, but his boytoy rose to the challenge. “Yeah, you wanna make something of it?”

“Be seated, you showroom gigolo. I should strike you down for daring to set one disgusting foot in the meeting chambers of the Daimyo!”

The Honshu goon squad jumped to their feet. The Hokkaido soldiers rose as one solid mass. Ishiskawa’s daughters joined him. The Shikaku warriors tensed, but remained seated. The conference had hardly begun, and it was already about to erupt into a blood feud.

“Enough,” Arcturus called, raising one hand. He put more exasperation than imperiousness into his voice than he meant, but it still seemed to calm the would-be combatants. “Enough. Please. We’ve only just begun. If you must, reserve combat for after the conference.”

As expected, Ishikawa relented first. He turned and bowed to Arcturus. “Forgive me, Shogun. I let my emotions cloud my judgement. I have brought shame to the Daimyo.”

“Do not let it trouble you” the Shogun said. “It has been a tense time for us all. You are forgiven, although there is nothing to forgive.”

Ishikawa nodded in thanks, then, stiffly bowed toward Kurosaki – though at a considerably shallower angle. “And to you, Daimyo Honshu. Forgive my temper.”

The goons hesitated, taken aback by the polite formality, looked to their leader. Kurosaki visibly chewed on the situation, flicking uncertain eyes between Ishikawa, his goons, and the Shogun. “Forget it,” he said at last with a wave of his hand. “Like he says. Tough times and all that.” Visibly deflated, the goons settled down uncertainly. The Hokkaido party all seated themselves perfunctorily. Although they displayed not outward signs of distress, Arcturus guessed they were all uncertain and unsettled.

Good. An off-balance Ishikawa would be easier to control.

Tyrant.

Once everyone had settled down again, Arcturus clasped both hands behind his back, stiffened, and opened his mouth to speak. He was interrupted at the first syllable by Fujibayashi. “Save your grand speeches for the public, Arcturus. Just say what you have to say.” Ishikawa started to rise indignantly, but Fujibayashi continued. “Oh, sit down, Ishikawa. You don’t scare me.”

Arcturus couldn’t help but chuckle. “Very well, if it is the will of the Lords – and do sit down, Ishikawa, honestly. Now, if you’ll allow one formality? I call the 539th session of the Great Houses to order, after over a century of adjournment. Welcome back to your rightful place. Now then. Unfortunately, the Clans have gone to ground.”

“Was that not the desired outcome?” Fujibayashi asked.

“The desired outcome,” Ishikawa snapped, “is the extermination of the Space Ninja.”

“A bit extreme,” she noted with a raised eyebrow.

“The Clans spent generations worming their way into power, becoming more and more relied upon by the Shogun. Once the Great Houses served that position. The Shogun was one of us. Then, he was theirs – and this Council disbanded. Now that the position has been reversed – restored – the Elders will not just give up so quickly. They’re sneaky and deceitful. If they’ve vanished, it’s for a reason.”

Fujibayashi was clearly not impressed.

“Ishikawa is correct,” Arcturus said, projecting to the room, but eyes on her. “The shadows are where the clans are strongest, although I’ll say that I’d much rather them be there than in the light. We know they’re scared.”

“Yeah, but, they’re ninja.” Surprisingly, it was Kurosaki who spoke. “Ain’t they most at home in darkness? By leaving them there, aren’t we just giving them the home field advantage?”

Obvious distress crossed Ishikawa’s face at agreeing with the boy, but he didn’t relent. “A fair point. Although we’ve sent them running, stealth is their specialty. By driving them out, we’ve put ourselves at a disadvantage.”

Arcturus nodded, having considered this already. “I don’t disagree. Driving them back into the shadows is only the first step. Already the people are turning against them. In such a short time, a number of media outlets have spoke out against the Elder Clans. Few are neutral, and even fewer defensive. And that ratio is slipping ino our favor daily. They really are accepting the story that the Space Ninja killed the Pole Star.”

“Why shouldn’t they? It’s what happened.” Arcturus glared at Fujibayashi. He didn’t like her flat tone and the slightly quirked mouth.

The assassination had not been part of his collusion with the House Lords. True, for years he and they had formed an alliance against Polaris, maneuvering politically, placing useful allies in powerful positions, including himself as Fuku-Shogun. They were playing a much longer game than he. When Polaris has been assassinated by the Clans, it has been quite fortuitous for them. United, they had backed Arcturus as the Shogun, publicly denouncing the Clans. When the Clans had gone silent and not denied the crime, well, all the better. Arcturus had fed the media the same line he’d fed the Lords, that the Ninja approached him and tried to recruit him. Tried to make a willing figurehead of him. He had refused, been attacked, and barely survived. None of them had shown any hint of grasping the truth.

Until now.

“Because it feels too good,” Kurosaki thankfully answered. “True or not, not everyone is going to believe us. The Ninja were shite, and most people get that. But there’s something to be said for consistency, especially over generations.”

“Yes,” Ishikawa agreed. “Some will support the old regime simply out of momentum.”

“Then we have to make the changeover complete,” Arcturus declared, taking back control of the conversation. “Support for the Clans cannot be tolerated. Open declarations of loyalty are to be treated as treason, be they from individuals or organizations. Potential connections to the Clans must be investigated. We will make arrests starting now. Protests will be broken and all participants detained. Media outlets speaking out will be silenced.”

Fujibayashi frowned. “Are we really there now?”

Tyrant.

“This will not be an announcement made by the government or by any of you. It won’t be necessary. The people will understand quickly what’s happening and I don’t think we’ll have to crack down particularly hard for very long.”

“And if that doesn’t stop it?”

“Then we continue. As Ishikawa said, ultimately the Clans must be eradicated if we are to succeed. There is no room in the new Shogunate for the old system.”

Ishikawa and Kurosaki voiced their approval, but Fujibayashi and Ryuugamine remained silent.

“It is vital that this be enforced, not just here in Astro City, but out in the other Lands, in your domains. The Shogunate is vast, and I will require your assistance in this transitional period. With the position of Shogun in flux and the Clans traitors, the people will look to their Lords for stability. Be that stability. Be the fixed compass points to which they may align. In turn, you must align to me.” Feeling theatrical, Arcturus retrieved the amulet of the Pole Star and displayed it to the Lords. “The Shogunate aligns to, and revolves around, the Pole Star. Now I am that axis, a responsibility I will not take lightly. I have asked for your loyalty and trust at our first conference. I ask it now, again.”

“You have it,” Ishikawa said at once.

“Yeah, yeah.” Kurosaki waved his hand, dismissively. “Same as last time. You got it.”

Fujibayashi pursed her lips, but nodded. “Shogun.”

All eyes turned to the old man, Ryuugamine, who had remained noticeably silent so far. If his word wasn’t given, the other Lords may take that as cause to rescind their own. “As always, my lord, House Kyuushu will support the Shogun.” Some tension evaporated from everyone else. “But I do have one question: have you named a Fuku-Shogun?”

Now all eyes turned back to him. “At this moment, I have not.” Arcturus had tucked the amulet back into his robes. “As I’m sure you know, things have been rather hectic since that night. I do not typically make excuses, but between assuming the Shogun’s duties and familiarizing myself with the generals and staff, speaking to the media--” he bowed his head, apologetically. “I simply have not had the time.”

“Curious. I assumed you would name that sneaky scientist to the position. What was his name?”

“Ophiuchus? No, Elder. He is a great man, and a loyal ally, but Fuku-Shogun is not the position for him. For one, he told me outright he would refuse such an appointment, as it would distract from his work.”

“Indeed. Very busy, that one. Enigmatic.”

“He is…difficult to read, sometimes,” Arcturus conceded.

“Keep a close eye on him, Shogun. That is my only condition. Hm, no I don’t like how that sounds. You have my support, Arcturus. I would ask only that you consider an old man’s advice and consider your allies carefully.”

“Thank you for your support and council, Lord Kyuushu. And all of you. Truly. It means more than you can ever know that you have placed your support with me. I will do my best to - “

“I thought I told you to leave your speeches for the media,” Fujibayashi cut in, smiling.

“Sorry,” he said. “Hard to set that mode aside. But unless there is further business I have not addressed, I believe we can call this council to a close?”

Unsurprisingly, it was Fujibayashi who dared. “Just one thing. I couldn’t help but notice the Imperial starliner was warming up. Taking a trip, are we?”

Now that was a very well timed jab. Ishikawa and Kurosaki both paused in their moves to exit and waited expectantly. He hadn’t planned on making the trip public; it was not on any official schedules. Only his aide, Mayuri, had been told exactly where he was going. But Fujibayashi had known. All this time, she had known and waited for the opportunity to strike.

And he had bared his belly.

With hopefully a short delay, Arcturus forced a laugh. “Ah, of course. I had nearly forgotten about that, myself. You’ll recall a major aspect to my platform was the conclusion of the Pólemos campaign? I intend to visit the front myself, to assess the situation firsthand.”

“Immediately after issuing a crackdown on Clan sympathizers?”

He very nearly growled. She wasn’t having to work hard at this because he continued to walk right into the trap, baring his ass.

“I don’t intend to remain more than a few hours. The starliner will be able to jump me there and back by dinner. Once I’ve seen the situation for myself, I’ll be able to better decide how to proceed on that. The sooner I bring an end to that black hole of resources and manpower, the better for the Shogunate. I can’t very well be consolidating the homefront and leaving our far-flung soldiers to dither. What sort of message would that send as Shogun? That I am only another power-hungry tyrant. I must end this. I must bring them home.”

There. That should satisfy her for now.

Fujibayashi wrinkled her lips and nose, as if considering how to attack next. She didn’t, though, simply saying, “Indeed,” and whisking herself out the door, nearly dragging Ryuugamine with her while her warriors double-timed to keep up.

Arcturus ground his teeth as the others vacated, not hearing whatever it was they said until he was alone in the amphitheater, a word seeming to echo endlessly around him.

Tyrant.

-

It hadn’t occurred to him then, but now he couldn’t help but consider what else Fujibayshi knew. Did she know about how he had colluded with Ophiuchus to kill Polaris? Did she know about his blessing by the Azure Dragon? It’s possible she only suspected, or was taking a wild shot in the dark, although the latter didn’t feel like something she would do. Fujibayshi was too careful with her power and position, too aware of the scrutiny upon her at all times.

She would not make a move unless she was she was damn sure.

And she’d hit the target at point-blank.

Feeling agitated, Arcturus rose, careful not to disturb his papers, and exited the office. Hantou soldiers fell in behind him silently. Aster hadn’t yet returned with the division commanders, but after reviewing the state of things, Arcturus was no longer surprised. This entire planet felt like the some preurban recreation of Space Land.

“One of you bring Captain-Commander Aster to me,” he barked without slowing or turning. Armored footsteps hurried away.

Arcturus wound his way through the Hantou garrison aimlessly, deliberately avoiding Aster’s walking tour path, but he didn’t really see anything. His gaze was turned inward.

“My lord Shogun!” He was drawn out of his walking reverie somewhere in what had been the spaceport landing pad, which currently only held the starliner and a few terrestrial vehicles. Aster was sprinting across the way, panic on his face. “My lord!”

“Easy there, lad,” Arcturus said. He chuckled good-naturedly. “There aren’t many places I can hide here.”

Aster sucked in air, looking confused. “I was told you wanted to see me urgently.”

“Hm. I just said to bring you to me, though I may have snapped at the messenger. Forgive me. I am not in the best of moods.”

“No apology necessary, Lord Shogun. What can I do for you?”

“You can accompany me on a trip.”

“A...trip?” Gears turned and valves pumped behind those inquisitive eyes. “Where to, sir?”

“The front lines!”

Aster grimaced. “That’s…forgive me, my Lord, but the front is quite vast. Eve considering that the sea is at our back, the warzone is several hundred miles long. Really, the border is – well, it’d be easier if I showed you a map, but - “

“What’s the most forward position, then?” Arcturus asked impatiently. He wasn’t upset with Aster, not really, but at the whole situation. Everything had gone smoothly until coming to Pólemos.

“Mmmm. Kensaki, I suppose. Established most recently of the forward camps – just before the stalemate, the Digging In, it’s been called. They check in regularly and I’m on good terms with the commander there, although he’s about as fed-up with the war as the rest of us. Ah, I mean - “

“No, it’s alright, Captain-Commander. I’m about fed up with this war, as well. Kensaki. Appropriately named, I suppose. Take me there. Whatever the fastest vehicle you have that won’t break down – prepare it and let us be on it for Kensaki.”

“At once, sir,” Aster said uncertainly, but saluted anyway. Ten minuted later, they were flying lower over the terrain, moving north-northeast toward the forward camp Kenaki. All the while Arcturus considered his supposed ally, Fujibayashi. Despite what she might have uncovered, what secrets unearthed, he was certain she didn’t know the real truth of the matter.

She didn’t know about the Four Celestial Spirits.

And she didn’t know the real reason the Clans had gone silent: that Antares had been sent to their hidden village of Penumbra and slaughtered everyone there, including the Clan Elders. The Space Ninja weren’t in hiding, they were already decimated, leaving the Shogunate with a faceless enemy to hate, one with no ability to fight back.

He had to give Ophiuchus credit. That man really understood how to control people.

-

Very shortly thereafter, another encoded message was broadcast from Hontou village towards a receiver in the capital, the second send in a very short time.

This is Agent Tyresias. The Shogun has left the former Chersónisos region and is headed north-northwest toward the former Pétrino region. Repeat: the Shogun is moving to the frontline of the war. Immediate action is recommended.

[Mizagium]

GOLDBEZ PAUSED IN HIS SENSUAL GYRATIONS. “WHO ELSE, KID, BUT THE MAN HIMSELF?”

WITHOUT MORE EXPLANATION, GOLBEZ HOISTED COZAL UP OVER HIS SHOULDER, PULLED ALLIE TIGHT AGAINST HIS SIDE, AND PUT A FATHERLY HAND ON CALE’S SHOULDER. “HANG ON TO YOUR UNDERWEAR, FOLKS, I’M BRINGING IT AROUND TOWN.”

HE AFFECTED A SHALLOW SQUAT, PUSHING HIS TUSH OUT THERE. THEN, EVER SO DELIBERATELY, HE ROTATED IT FORWARD IN A CLOCKWISE MOTION, UNTIL HIS PELVIS WAS THRUST FORWARD. HE CONTINUED THE MOTION UNTIL HE ARRIVED BACK AT THE STARTING POSITION.

“ARRROOOUND TOWN,” HE SAID AGAIN.

GOLDBEZ REPEATED THIS MOTION AGAIN AND AGAIN, FASTER AND FASTER EACH TIME. IT WAS CLEAR HE WAS WINDING UP, BUT FOR WHAT, WHO COULD SAY.

THIS WENT ON FOR NEARLY TWENTY MINUTES.

AT THE LAST COMPLETED ROTATION, HE HELD HIS REAR END OUT WHILE THE PELVIC SECTION OF HIS ARMOR GLOWED WHITE HOT AND VIBRATED WITH THE MOST INTENSE PLEASURE.

“AWWWW YEAH, BABY, HERE WE GO.”

HIS CROTCH ROCKETED FORWARD AND ALL FOUR OF THEM (FIVE IF YOU COUNTED DRACONIS – SOMETHING LIKE TWENTY OR SO, IF YOU COUNTED ALL THE LUSTY ERMINES) WERE THRUST INTO SOME OTHERDIMENSIONAL WEIRDNESS. PSYCHEDELIC COLOR SWIRLS EMBRACED THEM LIKE A RAVENOUS LOVER, AND GOLDBEZ’ VIBRATIONS PENETRATED THEM LIKE A, WELL, LET’S KEEP IT PG-13.

AFTER WHAT FELT LIKE A REALLY GOOD ETERNITY, THE INTERDIMENSIONAL WEIRDNESS BROKE AWAY, AND THEY FOUND THEMSELVES IN A MORE TERRESTRIAL KIND OF WEIRDNESS. ROLLING HILLS STRETCHED AWAY IN ALL DIRECTIONS, COLORED IN STARK, OFFENSIVE PSYCHEDELIC COLORS. IMMEDIATELY BEFORE THEM ROSE A GREAT, HAPHAZARDLY CONSTRUCTED TOWER (OF SCIENCE) JUTTED UP INTO THE DISAPPOINTINGLY MUNDANE SKY.

HE SHRUGGED COZAL OFF UNCEREMONIOUSLY AND RELUCTANTLY RELEASED ALLIE. THEN HE STRODE CONFIDENTLY UP TO THE FRONT DOOR. HE LEANED BACK, RAISED ONE FOOT, SHOUTED “SOME” AND KICKED IN THE FRONT DOOR “BODY”

BILL NYE SPUN IMMEDIATELY AND SPREAD HIS ARMS WIDE. “Once told me!”

THE TWO MEN SLAPPED FIVE, SLAPPED TEN, AROUND THE SIDE, AND BACK AGAIN, UP HIGH, DOWN LOW. THINK FAST – TOO SLOW!”

THEY EXCHANGED AN INCREASINGLY COMPLEX SERIES OF HANDSLAPS FOR FORTHY MINUTES OR SO, CONCLUDING WITH THEM EXCHANGING NOTES AND SETTING A TIME AND DATE FOR THEIR NEXT SLAPFEST.

“Well,” BILL NYE SAID, SWEATING PROFUSELY. “What can I do for you, Goldbez?”

“AY YO, A LITTLE BIRDIE TOLD ME YOU WERE THE MAN TO SEE ABOUT A TIME MACHINE. YOU GOT ONE OF THOSE?”

“What little birdie?”

“IT WAS REVEALED TO ME IN A NIGHT TERROR.”

“Ah, so the usual. Well, of course I have a time machine. What do I look like? Not the Science Guy?”

“MAN I DUNNO KNOW YOUR LIFE.”

“Knox, in his heroism may have made it very difficult to time travel, but not impossible. All you need is a way to avoid the pull of the G.O.A.T.”

“OF THE WHAT.”

“Luckily I have such a way. Behold!” BILL NY REMOVED HIS LAB COAT AND DRAPED IT OVER A NEARBY MECHANISM, THEN HASTILY TORE IT AWAY IN A MAKESHIFT REVEAL. “The Fluxomatic Temporal Logisticulator – of Science!” AND YES, SOMEONE’S HEAD ASPLODED.

“BET. THIS THING DO YOU RIGHT, CALE?”

“There’s only one problem, though.” BILL NYE PAUSED DRAMATICALLY FOR DRAMATIC PURPOSES OF DRAMA. “This time machine can only be powered…by SICK DANCE MOVES! Awwwwwwwwww - “

“YEEEAAAAAAH,” GOLDBEZ FINISHED, AND THE TWO BEGAN ANOTHER HANDSLAP EXCHANGE.”

[Calefrun]

Cozal grunted as he fell to the floor. "The fiz, man? I kinda have somewhere to be right now."

After a sigh, Allie took another swig from her flask. Motioning towards Cetis she commented, "You know, I never used to drink until I met this guy. This has basically just been my daily life for the past several months."

The aforementioned Squid wasn't paying either of them any mind, however, and was instead standing with crossed arms while observing the exchange between GOLDBEZ and Bill Nye.

"A time machine, huh? Not quite what I had in mind, but I can work with this. We probably shouldn't mess around too much with recent history - I've done enough of that already, and if the Time Immortal is cracking down on time travel, we should probably avoid doing anything that will be immediately obvious to him."

He took a moment to think, then continued, "We could always try to go back and stop the Shrimpers from ever being invented, but even the Squids don't have any information about when that event actually took place. All we know is that the cycle of eradicaiton and re-emergence of underwater civilization has been going on for several millenia. Hmm... do you have any thoughts on the matter, Bill?"

---

Kayla shuddered slightly at Jones' wink. Between this guy, Leporis, and the Yakuza dude, she found that she was already starting to grow tired of dealing with space men.

Then again, she thought, Grandma was always a little weird too. Maybe that's just part of space culture?

"We might as well take him with us," she said to Leske and Gree. "He might know something useful, and he seems... harmless enough. Worst case scenario, he turns out to be full of shit and we throw him out the airlock."

---

Cale II shrugged. "I mean sure why not."

He took another look at the ship, then went back to watching Heimrall as she fiddled with the dagger. "I'll be honest, I have no idea what's up with the sand or how you're doing any of this stuff to begin with. If you want to try using that magic of yours to get us across, I'm all for it. Just... be careful. There's something aboard that ship, and I get the feeling he's not going to be too happy to see us."

[Mizagium]

Castor and Pollux shared a look.

“Shove it, huh?” Castor grinned. Pollux rolled his eyes but conjured more lighting to match his brother. Between them they formed a pretty sick looking thunderbolt that was easily bigger than Cod Commando and Metal Gear Fish combined. Arcs of lightning reached out to vaporize any bullets that flew their way.

“You hear the fish, Pollux! Shove it!”

As a pair, they hurled the great bolt of lightning at the fish people charging them.

-

Corvus weighed his options. One the one hand, he was on the run from the Shogunate for actual crimes and now (probably) for desertion. On the other, this guy seemed kinda fishy.

With a shrug, Corvus told Captain Bactus, “Arr, me matey!”

-

Knox coughed sheepishly. “Well, that’s the plan. We should be gathering on the Council Chambers, but no one knows yet. Well, you do. And Roewk. Artemis knows and is…uh previously engaged with another mission. But yes, the idea is that we should meet up at the Council Chamber.”

He glanced at Roewk. “I’m going to alert the rest of us. Roewk, you’re welcome to come with, if you want. I got a fix on just about everyone else from my experience in the Time Stream.”

-

Queen Francine did indeed step through the portal with her husband and entourage. She couldn’t help but grin at the hastily-scrawled addition to the welcome banner. They allowed followed close behind Amelia as she met with the Emperor, with Artemis, and then this Theo character.

“Feels odd,” Randolph pointed out.

“Indeed.” They hadn’t visited Awesome Land in many years, and more recent dealings had involved mad emperors, giant dragons, civil wars, Aurora, and non-canon adventures. It did indeed feel odd to be formally invited to dinner with the Emperor. “But it feels nice,” she added. “Maybe we can put what happened behind us.”

“You really think so?”

“Leon isn’t emperor any more and he’s freed from Hystoger – has been for a while. Aurora abdicated. Awesome Land hasn’t troubled us lately.”

“And I suppose Emperor Awesome is extending the olive branch, after all.”

“Let’s keep open minds, shall we?”

Randolph chewed on his lip, thinking of everything that had happened only six months ago. “I will try.”

The RCL monarch took their seats at the table while Hrathen, Azzi, and the kunoichi took up position around the room. “Emperor Awesome,” Queen Francine said, finally addressing her host. “Thank you for this dinner, and let me apologize for the extensive delays we had in attending. Miss Robertson has already filled you in, so I won’t rehash, but still. Our apologies.”

-

Yoshi grimaced. “TK, you aren’t thinking - “

“I don’t think we have another choice,” Tai Ken cut in. “We can’t take them to a hospital. They’re being monitored, nowadays.”

“Yeah, by us,” Yoshi muttered, but didn’t object. He sighed and promted Alastor to pick Evangeline up again. “Get her up and stick close. I need to keep my eyes going, so I can’t carry her – and TK needs to keep the shroud up. You can keep it up, right?”

Tai Ken nodded. “Yeah, just keep it down; shrouding sounds is tricky. Well, so is shrouding light, but I’ll take that one over the others.”

They wound through the city, Yoshi taking point. Tai Ken had Alastor go ahead of him so he could bring up the rear. Yoshi tried to set a quick pace, but gradually slowed. Alastor couldn’t move at full speed, carrying Evangeline, and Tai Ken struggled to maintain the shroud. They didn’t speak, which was difficult enough for Yoshi, who was usually running his mouth. He had many questions for the foreigner, not the least of which was, ‘Did you blow up the Megacomplex?’

Yoshi groaned. His eyes hurt and his vision was getting blurry. He’d never used Kidone for this long and with such intensity. He was peering through too many objects at once, making sure they weren’t going to run in anyone, especially other guards. Judging by TK’s heavy breathing, he wasn’t faring much better.

Finally, they came upon a generic looking Earthbucks Coffee Shop. Smooth spacejazz emanated from within, along with the enticing scents of space coffee. It certainly didn’t look like the kind of place you’d take an unconscious outlaw. Except that exactly what they did. Tai Ken sheathed Kurosora, dispelling the shroud as they entered. Yoshi did likewise, having already peered into every room.

Instead of a smattering of young men and women, dressed in clothes that made them look homeless (but were very expensive) seated at wood cafe tables – the interior was gutted, lacking anything that vaguely resembled a coffee shop. Crates and barrels made for tables and chairs and the walls were bare fauxstone. The “clientele” consisted of a couple dozen rough-looking men and women, many dressed in what appeared to be Space Ninja gi. Some wore Star Samurai armor. More than a few were simply civilians.

Everyone tensed and put hands on weapons when they entered; one in particular, an older man in worn ninja garb and graying hair, merely looked over his shoulder.

“You two again.” He spoke with a voice like gravel. “I figured you’d be back. Hm?” He turned around fully, revealing a face marked with many scars, like the surface of a deserted moon. “Who’s this?”

Tai Ken shoved past Alastor and Yoshimura. “Kazemura,” he said, voice strained from having to maintain his shroud for so long. “This woman needs assistance. We couldn’t take her to a hospital.”

The ninja, Kazemura, apparently, looked Alastor and Evangeline over. “So I see. Bring her here.” He shooed some others away from the longest table in the room and indicated for Alastor to lay her down. “You boys look tired, why don’t you sit. As for you,” he said to Alastor, “let’s hear what happened. Don’t worry, I’m a surgeon and we have healers on staff.”

-

Bill Nye regarded Cetis without interrupting his complex slap-fest with GOLDBEZ. “Knox doesn’t bother me. He tries; he’s genuine – but he’s young. Inexperienced. The last Time Keeper and I were good friends. I know all about how to avoid paradoxes and whatnot. The dance machine has built-in paradox correcting features: it will automatically smooth out future events so that no one should notice, not even Knox.”

He and GOLDBEZ started to wind down. “Ah but you asked about where to begin? Well, I’d avoid going back too far. I know I said the machine would smooth out the timeline, but if you were to go back and stop the Shrimpers from ever existing – well – I’m not sure even my Science could cope with that. Stansilaus always said that he couldn’t revive the dead, even by time-traveling.”

Bill shrugged. "But what does he know? He's dead."

[Calefrun]

Scratching his chin, Cetis considered the Science Immortal's words.

After several seconds he replied, "Hmmm... I guess anything too drastic would be out of the question, then. We might be able to gather some information that would help us beat the Shrimpers in the present, but that still leaves us with the problem of figuring out how far back we need to go... GOLDBEZ, do you have any thoughts on the matter?"

[Myrdraxxis]

Roewk nodded slowly, considering his options. There…really wasn’t all that much for him to do besides accompany Knox. This was an issue he couldn’t just ignore while hanging around the Council chambers. Also, he didn’t want to just kinda hang around that place considering he’d all but stormed out last time.

“I will go with you.” He said to Knox. Nearby, Dace was muttering something, waving a hand around. Knox would have found that odd if not for the orb of Darkness that traced the air in time with the movement. Well, okay… it was still bizarre.

---

“You know what, sure.” Gree said. Leske shot him a surprised look, one that Jones mirrored.

“Really?” Jones asked.

“Yeah sure, fuck it.” Gree shrugged. “It can be Neero’s problem. We’ve secured some intel and that’s basically what we came here to do.” He paused, then added “Besides, Kayla’s right. We can always just shove him out an airlock.” The grin on Jones’ face decreased by a few teeth, but he managed to remain in full on shit-eating-grin mode.

“I honestly thought I would have to convince you to take him.” Leske said as the group began to head back to the ship. The resupply probably wouldn’t be done yet, but Gree had already had his fill of the filthy spaceport.

“Who is this Magnus guy anyway? I mean really?”

Leske was silent for a moment. “A dangerous person.” He said finally. Gree hummed thoughtfully at that.

“So what, you’re hunting him down?”

“Something like that.”

[Mizagium]

GOLDBEZ GOT JIGGY WITH IT, SLAPPED OL BILL NYE A FEW MORE TIMES ON THE BUTTOCKS FOR GOOD MEASURE, THEN SWAGGERED OVER TO THE TIME WHATEVER DEVICE – HE DIDN’T READ THE LAST COUPLE POSTS SO YEAH.

“THOUGHTS ARE FOR SQUARES,” HE DECLARED, “AND I AM A SENSUAL TRAPEZOID. I’VE NEVER MET A PROBLEM I COULDN’T DACE MY WAY THROUGH.” ALREADY THE GIZMO’S BELLS AND WHISTLES WERE GETTING STEAMY JUST BY BEING IN CLOSE PROXIMITY. “BUT IT LOOKS LIKE IT’LL TAKE TWO SULTRY SONS-OF-GUNS TO GET IT JIVIN’ YOU IN?”

HE PLACED ONE ARMORED FOOT UPON THE DEVICE – NOT A FOOTHOLD OR STEP OR ANYTHING, JUST WHEREVER HE COULD – AND TRANSFERRED ALL HIS MOTION TO HIS GROIN.

-

Haley temporarily abandoned her assault as droids and sexual energy closed in on her. She shoved her rifle back into armoryspace and retreated through a narrow duct, one she had used earlier to gain entry. She couldn’t fight in this closed space. Assassinate, sure, but fight? No, even invisible she needed some room.

Instincts developed recently kicked in, and she began shedding her clothing. First, the long coat, then the hat, both of which joined her weapons in the pocket dimension. As for her body wrap – she had to leave it behind. There wasn’t time to carefully unwind and store it, so it came off in ragged clumps, unfortunately leaving a trail behind her – but at least she was free! With not covering, she was completely invisible. Like she, she didn’t give off any known radiation, couldn’t be detected by any device she had yet encountered.

As long as she was quiet, she would never be found.

The duct dumped her in a large open room that reminded her of a hangar, except that I was empty. At the far end was the exit: two large doors that rolled. If she could just make it there, she could escape on Jeremiah Lettucehead’s biplane.

A single droid arrived by itself and stumbled into her; she hadn’t been looking back and silently swore. Haley whirled on it, tearing arms and codpieces away from the main body before smashing to the ground, head-first.

Well, maybe there wouldn’t be anymore.

-

Knox nodded gratefully. He wasn’t looking forward to making the rest of the trips solo. Most of the other Immortals he had only brief contact with – and they all seemed like weirdos. He sorted through the contact points he had gleaned from the Timestream.

“Hmm. Looks like Noores is closest to us now – well, temporally speaking. He’s actually not that close in terms of – you know what, let’s just go.” Knox put a hand on Roewk’s shoulder and pulled them both into the Timestream. While it was technically teleporting, the actual mechanics involved moving himself (and guest) forward to a point in time where he was already at the desired point on the time-space axis. Since he had seen this contact point in the possible futures, he just had to make a determination that this was a point he was going to make, and let the Timestream pull him along.

After relative seconds of travel, Knox and Roewk found themselves...at a noodle bar. The familiar cityscape of Dynasty City surrounded them, evidently one of the sectors not terribly affected by the recent battle with Zais.

“Huh,” he muttered. The specifics of where he would meet Noores hadn’t been clear, but somehow this was not all that surprising. He spied the Immortal of Lightning down a few seats and pulled Roewk along.

“Noores,” he said when they were within earshot. “It’s Knox. And Roewk. We need to speak with you.”

-

Rick Thunder eyed their new...companion? He wasn’t clear on the specifics of Bushido Jones, but he recognized a samurai when he saw one. He’d see all the old Akida Konosuba films multiple times – Eight Samurai, Reshoman, Throne of Bile, The Hidden Castle, Bojimbo, Kagemuda, and Rai. While Jones didn’t look like much, Rick suspected he had some secret sword skills hidden away for later. And he would be ready for whenever he decided to unleash them.

If he had been aware of the hunt for Magnus before, he had now completely forgotten.

[Sariel of Tevet]

Heimrall looked at the dagger in her hands. Just what all can you do? What are your limits? She faded back in and caught what Cale II was saying to her.

"There's always something on board some ship or in some building. But look. I don't know if yo understand what a prom is, or what's up with all this immortal council stuff and this vampire guy. But I don't exactly have time at all to mess around in here. Do you even know how many text messages I probably have waiting on me? UUUUUUUUGH."

She dropped to her knees and slammed her fist into the sand. It kicked up and hung in the air, before shifting back to it's previous position and pushing her hand out of the way as it regained its shape on the desert floor. Heimrall squinted her eyes and let out a little bit of a smile.

"Instead of us going to the ship, how about bringing it to us?"

The dagger spun in her hands and thrust it up toward the sky. The world around her began to phase across time, but then suddenly stopped. She tried another pose and the same result was achieved. There was a brief moment of power that surged through the air surrounding them, but then nothingness.

"What am I missing? I need more power. What is it that I'm missing here?"

Suddenly she remembered the strange crows that had attacked her when she first made it to this place. They were able to move back and forth through time without effort, even control her moves to a point. They were so powerful for such small creatures.

Something about those...birds...has to be the clue.

"THAT'S IT."

She held the dagger blade against her open palm.

"Those birds. Their eyes were seeping this strange sand. Their entire bodies were fused with this stuff. It must be why they were so strong. And since I can control earth...I should be able to control it inside myself."

Her hand clenched around the blade of the dagger and bits of blood began to pour out down her palm and arm. Heimrall winced at the pain and dropped to her knees. She took a deep breath and whipped her free hand around in the air to create a long rope of sand which she drew into the open wound.

Heimrall screamed as her blood began to burn. She could feel her insides shifting, as if they were skipping around in time. After a few moments it subsided and she could catch her breath. She looked down at the gaping wound on her hand and began to cry.

"This...this is too much. It's costing me too much to get out of this place. THIS IS GOING TO LEAVE A SCAR AND MALCOLM WON'T EVEN LOVE ME ANYMORE. HOW COULD HE POSSIBLY WANT TO TAKE A GIRL TO PROM THAT IS COVERED IN SCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARS!!!!!"

She looked at her hand and continued to sob until the wound began to glow with a faint golden hue. Time around her hand began to reverse and the cut healed as if it were new.

"Huh. I guess my dad was wrong all these years. I can get whatever I want if I cry. Who knew. ANYWAY. Let's get on that ship."

Heimrall pointed the dagger at the ship and closed her eyes. A large gust of wind began to blow toward her and Cale II, or so it seemed. After a moment it became clear that the wind wasn't blowing toward them, but rather it was flowing backward. The sea began to recede as the tide began to flow in once again, and the ship began to make it's way to shore, almost as if it were being pulled.

[Monika]

Emperor Awesome gave Emily a sidelong glance before addressing the queen. "Ah, yes, the...incident at the palace was rather unfortunate, but certainly nothing you need to apologize for, Queen Francine. The suspected culprits are my subjects, after all, and I will have them apprehended and tried for this crime posthaste. All water under the bridge I hope."

Amelia returned the emperor's glance, concealing her disbelief with typical ninja acuity. I can't believe he actually managed to turn this around. I guess there's a reason he's in charge.

"I'm certainly not upset about it anymore, now that I know who's responsible," Amelia said, nodding. "Water under the bridge."

"Indeed. Now, with that behind us, shall we move on to the main event?" Emperor Awesome asked. "Ah, but perhaps we should first start with introductions. We all know King Randolph and Queen Francine, of course, but as visitors from Really Cool Land, they may not know everyone here. Ms. Robertson, if you would start, please."

"Of course." Amelia turned to the king and queen and bowed slightly. "You have already met me, but I am Emily Robertson, Emperor Awesome's personal assistant."

"For now, at least," the emperor added. "I believe Ms. Robertson has done well enough - and endured enough - on this most recent mission to deserve a promotion. Perhaps Chancellor? Or leading our Foreign Affairs department?"

Amelia's eyes narrowed just slightly - imperceptibly so. Does Awesome Land even have a Foreign Affairs department? she thought, already knowing the answer. The idea of being the only person responsible for foreign affairs in an empire as large and...dubiously reputable as Awesome Land was at once thrilling and terrifying. Mostly the latter.

"You flatter me, Emperor Awesome, but I don't think I'm ready quite yet to run my own department. Not like some of your more capable employees." Amelia cleared her throat and shifted her gaze toward Artemis, deflecting attention.

"Ah, yes, if you would go next, Artemis."

Artemis did not bow, but instead gave a slight nod toward the Really Cool royals. "I am Artemis, Awesome Land's Minister of Homeland Security. It is my job to defend our people against all threats that occur domestically." She said the words neutrally and without emotion, as was her style, but felt a mild stinging pain in her chest as they left her mouth. There she was, talking about protecting the people of Awesome Land from threats within their borders, as she stood across from the parents of the woman who had entered the country and orchestrated the death of the person closest to her. The woman whom she hated almost as much as Zais. The woman who, unlike Zais, was still very much alive. Artemis' mood necklace flashed red for the briefest of moments before she took a breath and it regained its calm shade of blue.

Emperor Awesome looked to Theo next. "I believe you are new to everyone here, so if you would..."

"It would be my pleasure, Emperor Awesome." Theo gave a deep bow to the king and queen before straightening up to give his introduction. "My name is Theo. I am the prince of a small island nation known as Sacred Land. I simply came to congratulate Emperor Awesome on his ascension to the throne, and to wish him well in his tenure. I apologize for intruding upon your diplomatic dinner. Hopefully you will tolerate my presence. It is an honor to meet both of you, Your Majesties." Theo bowed again, this time more deeply than before.

"Thank you, Theo. I hope you do not mind either, Queen Francine. King Randolph. Theo is such a well-mannered young royal, and when he came to visit, I just knew I had to invite him as well. Awesome Land's foreign relations have been incredibly strained, as you know, so I couldn't really pass up an opportunity to mend them. And the first step to building any relationship is a good meal!"

As if on cue, a number of servants gathered chrome trays from around the room and began apportioning various foods - many from outside of the country - to the people seated at the table, starting with the king and queen.

"I wasn't really sure what you'd like," Emperor Awesome said, "so I spared no expense in getting different foods from all around the world. Hopefully you will enjoy at least one of them."