LHC Official Unofficial CF Archival Thing

[Sariel of Tevet]

Scarlet waited with her hands folded in front of her, counting.

"I won't be racing, gentlemen and lady, but rather acting as a harrier. What's a race without a little trouble. And you; Bartholemew, was it? If you're going to stay in my shadow you'd better hold on tight. Otherwise you'll be ripped to shreds when we warp. I'll catch up with one of the racers, be it one of our distraction teams or a Blade Rider. I'll leave some of the destruction for you, so be ready."

She counted a few more beats, then sank into her own shadow and streaking off, darting from shadow to shadow. Up ahead she could see Stratus and the Dayman, and coming onto the right flank was a group of three Blade Riders. She smirked, "Yo, Hellhound. You're up." She sprang up from a small shadow on the ground and essentially drop kicked Bartholemew out of her shadow to deal with the Blade Riders. Scarlet slipped back into her own shadow and grabbed onto the shadow of Stratus' bike. She would've loved to mess with the Dayman, but that could wait. This kid's ego needed to be knocked down a hundred or so notches.

She gathered the shadow the bike made and pulled it upward, enveloping the bike and its rider in inky darkness. She herself was perched easily on the handlebars, a feat that would have been impossible if she hadn't still been melded with the shadows. All the boy would be able to see were a pair of crimson, snakelike eyes.

"What's the matter, boy," She taunted him from the shadows, voice echoing strangely due to her lack of physical body, "can't see in the dark?" With a nasty sounding chuckle she jumped off his bike. She'd done just enough to freak him out a bit and put him off course. Movement from the left now caught her attention. More Blade Riders.

I'll take these two, She thought, remembering the destruction bar over her head. Odd-- these things didn't even bother her anymore...

Scarlet latched onto one of the Blade Rider's shadows and sank them both. The bike and rider reemerged not a second later... Aimed at the other rider. Both riders were taken out in a decidedly satisfying explosion.

"Well. That was fun. What's next?" Scarlet murmured to herself, looking around for more trouble to cause.

[Sariel of Tevet]

INTERFERENCE

Cale took off shortly after the Dayman, spraying a trail of ink behind him as he went. Covering the streets and unfortunate citizens in the slick, black goop started to slowly fill his bar, but not nearly enough to keep up with the others. A pair of Blade Riders approached him on either side, and he drew his swords. They closed in on him, but with two quick slashes he cut them both down, adding a little bit more to his destruction meter.

Looking a ways ahead, Cale could see Leske gunning down enemies left and right. That's not good, he thought, how am I going to get back in this... Suddenly, a blue box with a question mark in the center appeared in the road directly in front of him. He slid through it, and after a couple of seconds his swords began to emit a blue glow. Another Blade Rider suddenly appeared out of an alley, riding straight at Cale. The Squid Rider slashed at the enemy, and a crescent-shaped wave of energy burst forth from his blade. It sliced through the Blade Rider, and cut into the two buildings behind him before exploding, leveling both of them and sending debris flying in every direction.

Cale stared at his sword. "Huh. Yeah, I can work with this." He started slashing both weapons around in every direction, blowing up buildings, cars, and Blade Riders, as well as sending attacks at the other racers (unintentionally, of course). As the trail of destruction began to form in his wake, Cale's bar started steadily filling.

INFILTRATION

Kayla leaned against the bar to wait for her part of the mission to begin. Shortly after the racers departed, the sounds of mass destruction filled the air. "Sounds like they're off to a good start," she noted to nobody in particular.

VILLAINS

Sark sat patiently and waited for the Nightman to finish reading the rules. He hadn't bothered to read them himself, as he preferred to make his own rules. When the sounds of falling buildings, screaming citizens, motorcycles, and countless sirens reached the Whooters, he pulled his chariot up alongside the Nightman. "I believe it's time for us to go."

[Sariel of Tevet]

Not so long ago…

Stormfront had been a nice city, even taking the Imperial occupation into account. The Emperor hadn’t issued his ban on street fighting yet, no one was hurling barrels at guards yet, it really was peaceful. The Storm Riders hadn’t been sighted in over a week. All in all, it had been a good day for Lionel and his father to bring their crops into the city for sale.

Lionel had been to the city a few times before that, but only briefly. Farm work kept him busy most of the day, and the winters were always too cold to travel very far, so every trip was something like an adventure. The last time he had been to Stormfront, the Imperials hadn’t moved in yet. Although he was a Bladelander, Stormfront had been very welcoming to farmers like himself.

“Take the wagon, would ya?” Lionel’s father handed him the reins. “I have to go see Gerald about getting some tools. You know where to go?”

“I know, dad,” Lionel did his best to sound confident. It was a big deal, his father letting him take the reins. Lionel had never driven the cart before. “I remember the market.”

“Alright.” They stopped by the street and his father hopped off, gave the horse an affectionate pat and found Lionel’s eyes. “I won’t be long. Go find Thom. He knows we’re coming.”

And then he was gone and Lionel was driving the crops off towards the market. Over the dull roar of the bazaar, Lionel heard shouts coming from the center of town. People were angry. And that anger seemed to be spreading through the market crowd quickly.

“I can’t believe it,” he heard. “Take away the fights…not right…shouldn’t even be here…”

But he paid it no mind. He was a loyal Bladelander.

Thom waved to him and they began setting up the market stall. Thom was a big man, hardened from years as a blacksmith. He and Lionel’s father, Randy, were old friends and they shared a stall whenever they could. It saved on space and gave them a chance to catch up. Randy took longer than he should have to return, and when he did, he seemed troubled.

“Dad?” He joined them behind the stall and motioned Thom to follow him, leaving Lionel to watch the stall. Between deals, he caught snippets of their conversation. “Commotion…rebels…fights…Project: Midnight…dangerous.”

And then gold bricks started falling all over the market. Lionel heard the screams before the thuds of solid gold falling from a high altitude. A robotic voice shouted from overhead, but Lionel was too busy ducking for cover to listen. The gold didn’t rain long, but he could still hear it as it moved across the city.

“Stay here!” Randy shouted, taking Thom with him out into the destroyed market. They weren’t going to sell any crops today, it seemed.

A few minutes later Randy got Lionel to help. The falling gold had destroyed a lot of buildings, including peoples’ homes. The market had been built in the center of the original town, a hundred years ago, so there were many homes around. He, Randy, and Thom joined a team of about ten men who began sifting the rubble, rescuing those who had been inside when the gold started falling. One house they went to was already being picked through by a very distraught man, screaming about his family. It took the better part of an hour, but they managed to pull his wife and six kids from the rubble. As Randy pulled Lionel aside, he could see them huddling together, looking forlornly at the remains.

“We can’t stay here,” his father said. “It’s getting very dangerous, so we’re putting whatever crop isn’t ruined back on the wagon and leaving.”

Lionel frowned. “But, dad…the people…”

“They’ll be fine, Lionel. Right now, we need to make sure we don’t get caught up in – “

Ah, but it was too late for that. Just them, the Storm Riders burst through another part of the city, bringing with them all kinds of weather. Fierce lightning began to fall upon the city, starting fires across the city.

“Ok,” Lionel agreed suddenly. “Time to leave.”

Ten minutes later the cart was loaded and they were maneuvering around piles of debris towards the eastern gate; the one they had entered through not so long ago. And even as it came into sight, Lionel’s heart sank. The boundary of the market was being guarded by soldiers. It didn’t appear as if anyone was getting through. His father swore and began trying to find another way. Lionel craned his neck and looked back. The market had caught fire on the far end; one man appeared to be intentionally starting fires. “Dad,” he said to no avail.

Then everything happened so fast. The guards all ran to that man, there was a fox thing, knights on motorcycles, the Storm Riders, a race course appeared in the city…and a young boy steered through the market, unzipped his pants and…Lionel was too slow to get out of the way.

And all at once, he decided he’d had enough and grabbed his sickle, a nearby pot, and placed the latter on his head and chased after the boy who’d wizzed on him.

Interference

Vespi broke through an item block and three spheres of ball lighting began revolving around her bike. She grinned, knowing she was coming up on a guard house. A handful of soldiers ran out to confront her and were joined by a trio of Blade Riders. “Suck it, nerds!” she yelled and launched all three balls of lightning, creating a spectacular light show. Lighting streaked upwards into the sky like the roots of a great tree.

She heard a ding as her bar filled up completely and the first checkpoint responded in the distance. “Sweet. That was too easy.” She angled off and was through the holographic arch in a few seconds. “Are they all going to be that easy?” she shouted to the Dayman. “I thought you were better than – “

“FIRST CHECKPOINT MINIBOSS ACTIVATED”

“First what now? You didn’t say anything about boss battles!”

"CHECKPOINT SYSTEM IN TEMPORARY LOCKDOWN. DEFEAT MINIBOSS TO REACTIVATE CHECKPOINT SYSTEM."

That’s when she noticed the farmboy with a pot on his head, standing by the arch, panting. He held what looked like a sickle, a farming tool for harvesting crops. “Seriously?”

“I came out…” he huffed, “to have a good time. And, honestly, I’m just feeling so attacked right now.”

The light over the checkpoint lit up...and the kid began to glow as well.

“And I don’t…like…being…attacked!” His voice tightened and his muscles tensed. He stood up straighter. In fact, he seemed…bigger.

“Oh no.”

Oh yes!

Lionel
HP: 875/875
MP: 0/0
Abilities: Gets stronger the angrier he gets; farming abilities

But Lionel wasn’t interested in Vespi. He readied his sickle and ran straight for Stratus, yelling, “Whiz on me, will you?”

[Sariel of Tevet]

Hakuzo slinked back away from Pullio, just far enough for the crowd to engulf him again. He shifted back to human form, continuing to watch. Pullio uttered something he couldn't hear before storming back towards the crowd again. He watched the barbarian throwing more people around, and attempted to get away from the immediate area of him, shortly before getting picked up and thrown as well. He shifted back to his fox form, twisting in the air and landing feet first against a building wall before falling back to the ground. He followed Pullio back towards the mysterious group, staying on the edge of the crowd this time, just close enough for him to hear what was said, but far enough away to make a more functional escape, should the barbarian get violent again.

[Sariel of Tevet]

Villains

The Nightman hit an "X" in the top right corner of the manual, and it disappeared.

"Ok guys, all we have to do is destroy the town, these little bars above our heads fill up, and then we can close a checkpoint. I'm not sure why...I'm not sure what it does...but apparently...this is what The Dayman wants. He would do well to have chosen the path of evil with us, because he seems to be quite good at it. No matter!"

He dug his heels into the side of his obsidian tiger, which reeled backwards and let out a road before planting its feet again.

"Let's head out!"

He took off into the town and began mauling patrons as they fled the local market (filling his bar considerably), which seemed to be in disarray as it is. A power up appeared nearby, which the tiger mistook for food. It bounded towards it, disobeying any kicks or tugs on its reigns by The Nightman. The gemstone cat pounced on a floating steel box, and it disappeared into thin air. Irritated and now ultimately just bored, as cats naturally are, it curled up on the ground and began to nap. The Nightman kicked at its sides and began to cuss, but it wouldn't budge.

"Mangy cat refuses to listen to me. No matter, I suppose now is a good a time as any to see what this box does."

He reached up and clicked on the steel box, which appeared again and began to open up and lay itself down on The Nightman and the obsidian tiger.

"What the hell!"

The Nightman dove off of his mount and narrowly escape being swallowed by the box, which he presumed to be a trap.

"I presume that was a trap, or something. Stupid box. Now what will I ride?"

He met the container with a swift kick, and it began to shake and transform. A gnashing of metal and shrieking of the obsidian tiger began to fill the air, causing discomfort for passersby and causing the bar to trickle a bit. The monstrosity began to rise and grow, until a giant mechanical, obsidian steel tiger was left in its place. There was a hiss as a cockpit opened, and The Nightman simply shrugged and climbed in.

"I bet Schroedinger never thought that would happen if he put a cat in a box."

With his new, easily controlled tiger mech, he began to tear through the city head first through building after building, and honking the horn which caused the mech to rawr at passersby and occasionally eat them.


Interference

The Dayman slammed on the breaks and parked next to Vespi.

"Lucky chance beating me to the first checkpoint, perhaps you have some royalty in you after all!"

He saw Lionel racing towards Stratus, dripping wet. He chuckled to himself and leaned backwards, placing his hands on the top of his head and his feet on the dashboard. He scratched his codpiece and turned to Vespi again.

"The kid took a pit stop too early in this race it seems. Do you atmos thingies even use the restroom? I mean not REAL restrooms of course, those are reserved for the upper class, such as myself. But you know...trees, bushes, hobos, you know poor people restrooms. Someone really ought to tell that kid he is human."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stratus saw Lionel racing towards him, or rather, smelled him racing towards him. He slid his bike to a halt and stepped off, opening his containers of swords. He began shuffling them together, and connecting some swords to others. While he worked, taking his sweet time, he laughed at Lionel.

"Hey whizz kid, you seem pretty...how does that phrase go....pissed on? No....no...Ah! Pissed off. That's it. Man. I don't care how much you grow, you still aren't bigger than a gigantic tough atmosfaerie biker like me. You don't even stand a chance."

He finished fiddling with his swords, and heave back his arms with a huge groan. His sword equaled in height with that of the now super sized Lionel, and was atleast a few body lengths larger than Stratus himself. He clenched his fists and electricity began to run through the absurdly large sword and he smirked and took a stance.

"Let's do this."

[Sariel of Tevet]

"OMNES!" shouted Izaak, his eyes popping open as he came out of his meditation. "I've found the modifying word I need!" He moved back to the group. "Everyone, to me! Come in close because I'm not sure how far out the modifying word will cause the magic to go."

He closed his eyes and said, "Element of Water, attend me!" With those words, rings of mist, ice, and water encircled his wrists, indicating that he was indeed channeling the elemental force of Water. He then waited for everyone to get closer to him so that he could cast the spell.

[Sariel of Tevet]

Infiltration

Haley and Geirhald scooted in a bit closer.

Interference

"Whizz kid? Whizz kid?!" Lionel started to say something else but it degraded into a guttural snarl as he charged on Stratus. Once he reached a reasonably close distance, he came to a halt, wheeled back - "Harvest Slash!" - and cut across the air with his sickle, sending a burst of agricultural energy flying at Stratus.

Vespi snorted. "Was it really necessary for him to call his attacks like that?"

[Sariel of Tevet]

"Good enough I suppose," Izaak said. "Okay, just so everyone knows, I have no idea how long the spell will last, especially since its original intent was for a single recipient of the spell." He looked at each of them, making sure they were ready. "Alright, here we go."

He closed his eyes in concentration, hoping it would aid in lengthening the spells duration, and imagined everyone around him changing from a corporeal form to an almost intangible one. "Corpus nebula..." he said slowly and quietly. Suddenly and simultaneously, his eyes snapped open, and he shouted the final word, "OMNES!" He and everyone surrounding him (including a couple of bar stools) practically vanished from sight save for a barely visible mass, almost like fog.

"It worked!" he exclaimed with joy. "Quickly, now! We need to move before the spell lapses!"

[Sariel of Tevet]

Interference

Stratus saw the harvest slash flying towards him and he began to laugh, and readied his absurdly sized sword.

“Hey whizz kid, I’m about to reap what you sew. RAGE REAPING REFLECTION!”

He cried out and managed to swing his sword around, but the momentum knocked him off balance and sent him crashing to the floor. His sword cut through the blast as he hit the ground and the wave of energy passed over him. The misdirected swing of his sword decapitated a nearby clock tower, that was directly behind Lionel, and sent the tower crumbling right above the frantic farmer’s head.

“Ha! Looks like you’re about to get clocked, whizz kid!”

[Sariel of Tevet]

INTERFERENCE

Cale pulled up alongside the Dayman and Vespi, and Boopen Jr. grabbed onto the ground with its tentacles to bring itself to a stop.

"Sup beaches," the squid greeted. Cale looked at the fight between Lionel and Stratus, then back to the other members of the interference team.

"So..." he said, "should we just wait for them to finish, or...."

INFILTRATION

"Everyone, to me! Come in close because I'm not sure how far out the modifying word will cause the magic to go."

Kayla frowned. She wasn't exactly the touchy-feely sort to begin with, but ever since stepping into the fight against Depositron she had been trying to avoid getting too close to the members of this group. To be fair, Izaak seemed to be one of the more sane individuals she had met today, and he was one of the people that might be able to help uncover what had happened to the Efrun twins prior to arriving in Stormfront.

She sighed, and started to get up. I guess it's time for a group hug, she thought. At least the *completely* insane people are gone. And one of the people still here is invisible. And nobody here is wearing a codpiece. And... and I *guess* Izaak isn't that bad looking...

"OMNES!"

Suddenly, she was invisible.

"Oh. Well that works too." She turned towards where Geirhald had been (and assumedly still was) standing. "Alight, lead the way." Then, as an afterthought, she laughed and said, "Wait, hang on guys, I think we have a problem. I can't see Haley anymore."

VILLAINS

Sark followed closely behind the Nightman, blaring his theme at full volume from his chariot's speakers and converting all who heard it into bloodsucking undead. When they came within view of the first checkpoint, he pulled up alongside the Nightman's mech.

"So..." he said, "should we just wait for them to finish, or...."

[Sariel of Tevet]

And then Leske appeared, still spinning out, etween the front interference riders and the suddenly very angry farm boy. Still firing all of his weapons. The amount of firepower was beginning to cut through buildings and topple them.

"What's this now?" He asked, spotting Lionel. "Kid you picked the wrong day to awaken your inner miniboss." Leske actually stood up in the seat of his bike, which it should be noted is still spinning.

"I'nm gonna finish this quickly." He declared and then gave a dramatic whoosh of his trench coat. It wasnt just for show, however. From within Leske's coat appeared dozens of firearms. "A bit of spatial magic. Dimensional coat." He shrugged, then snapped his fingers dramatically and allof the guns fired in an uproarious noise.

[Sariel of Tevet]

Interference

Vespi drummed her fingers on the handles of her motorcycle, vaguely aware of the Nightman and Sark arriving. She glanced over at the Dayman, then at the checkpoint behind them, still inert.

"Is...He...That kid's going to die." And yet she made no move to assist him.

Lionel took a wave of bullets from Leske's spinning barrage. And another. And another. By the time of the fourth barrage, he was able to withstand the assault with minimal effort, his muscular form rapidly approaching ridiculous levels. "Stay outta my fight, city-slicker!" With a mighty roar, Lionel dug his sickle (which was starting to resemble a scythe) into the ground (which was mostly asphalt). "That bike don't look like it's made for off-roading!" Suddenly, the ground around Leske cracked and a thick field of wheat sprung up, clogging his tires and exhaust.

In the same instance, a field of corn appear behind Lionel. He removed his scythe from the ground and pointed dramatically. "Two can play at your game, cowboy! Corn-row artillery!" The corn stalks opened up and cobs of corn rocketed out, arcing low and down towards Leske and Stratus. And Scarlet. And Pullio.

[Sariel of Tevet]

Leske leaped from the now stuck bike (only stumbling slightly on contact with the ground) and just smirking. "Well, it wouldn't be any fun if that's all it took, hmm?" He began to snipe down the corn artillery that was aimed at him with his own cluster of rifles. "But it seems like normal bullets won't work on you."

Leske braced himself and began to conjure. "Let's step it up a bit."

He snapped his fingers aagin (which is kinda his summoning thing if you haven't figured it out yet) and and a row of howitzers appeared behind him. "This one's an old favorite."

The row of heavy weapons fired in unison.

[Sariel of Tevet]

Interference

Stratus ditched his giant sword in order to dodge pieces of corn.

"I was too big for that thing anyway, who needs it."

He stood up as a wall of corn stalks descended upon him. He clenched his fists together and allowed them to generate lightning. Once full, he posed and pointed as Lionel.

"You know whizz kid, I would tell you to lend me your ears for this monologue, but you are already doing that!"

He promptly fell to the ground and held his sides, laughing at a joke that only he would truly think is funny. Excuse me, let me interject here. Since Stratus isn't old enough, nor rich enough to have a narrator. The Dayman would like you to know that he is laughing as well, and also honking the horn on his kart in approval. Ok, back to...whoever is telling Stratus' side of the story.

Stratus stopped laughing and lunged into the air.

"Now you will see the power of a TRUE atmosfaerie!"

He pushed out his hands and lightning began to strike from one stalk of corn to the next, super heating them until they began to explode into bowls of popcorn. Yes, bowls of popcorn. The corn turned into popcorn, and the stalks made little grass bo...you know. Shut up. Stop judging me.

A bowl of freshly popped popcorn fell onto The Dayman's codpiece. He took a few bites and offered the bowl to Cale.

"Nah I'm sure he has this, he's a big scary atmosfaerie remember? Just eat some popcorn, it is the only other food besides pizza that all social classes can eat."

Villains

The Nightman turned on the PA inside of his new vehicle, and called out to Sark.

"No let's go capture another checkpoint, maybe we can just ambush them like this kid did. Besides, Horror needs to...find us. He better not still be eating that disgusting salad."

[Sariel of Tevet]

Interference
Spirit
She glanced over at where the voice was coming from for a moment before glancing at her body, it was not completely invisible, but pretty close. Little tiny waves of cloaking still made a slightly glistening wave though, much like fog or a possible heatwave and that was what made it not a complete invisibility. "Just, you have to know what to look for before you can notice it Kayla. Though just in case, can I suggest we keep in contact with one another to avoid the loss of a member?"
------
In the meantime of all of this, Mystic and Shadow had gone after Pullio, following and making sure to keep him in there sight but staying a few meters behind him, maybe he would take them back to Spirit soon?

Mystic's wolf eyes then spotted the fox who could become a human. Her head tilting in more confusion while Shadow took on a more aggressive approach, her front getting close to the ground and hackles raised as she tilted her head up with a steady growl and then advanced a single paw step. Shadow was not very trusting.

[Sariel of Tevet]

Interference

"Hey, watch it, you little whelp!" Scarlet snarled at the farmboy, twisting her body unnaturally to avoid a shelling of corn. She dodged the first volley, but another round was incoming. Glaring angrily at the miniboss, she swept her shadow up around her, absorbing the corn and sending them back out again at double the speed.

"Heh. I forgot I could do that."

Scarlet then caught a glimpse of the Nightman and Sark and she frowned slightly, vaguely confused, "Eh... What's with creeper one and creeper two... And why the hell does that one look exactly like you?!" She pointed accusingly at the Dayman.

That kinda rhymed.... but I swear if there are two of the Dayman the world is going to straight up implode. Or explode. Either way it won't be pretty.

[Sariel of Tevet]

INTERFERENCE

Cale accepted the bowl from the Dayman, and sat down on top of Boopen Jr. as he began to eat. "Works for me," he said between bites of popcorn. "I feel kinda bad about not helping, *nom* but I'm not the one who pissed him off, *nom* so whatever."

Boopen Jr. wiggled a little. "Ye."

INFILTRATION

"Just, you have to know what to look for before you can notice it Kayla. Though just in case, can I suggest we keep in contact with one another to avoid the loss of a member?"

"No, I meant like... it was a joke because Haley's already invis-" Kayla stopped herself and sighed. "You know what? Never mind. Anyway, that's probably a good idea."

VILLAINS

Sark nodded in response to the Nightman. "Very well, then. I'm sure that the oaf will catch up sooner or later." He cracked the reigns, and his chariot started to move deeper into the city.

[Sariel of Tevet]

Infiltration Team

Geirhald shifted uncomfortably in his new mist form. “Hrm…” he grumbled, a distant rumble of thunder. “This…form…too…wet…”

Haley, however, was unimpressed. “Wow. I get to be double-invisible. I think there’s a joke in there somewhere.”

“There’s a couple,” Dorian agreed. “But they’re either all misogynistic or…dirty.”

“Aren’t you like twelve?” When Dorian didn’t answer, she gave Izaak an approving nod, then said, “Don’t worry, Geirhald, we won’t be in this form long.” She mounted up and Geirhald did the same.

“Ride!” The ethereal Storm Rider shouted and sped off, with Haley and Dorian following suit.

Interference

Corn missiles and howitzer bullets collided in midair, creating the strangest explosions of popcorn that rained over the ruined city. But don’t eat the popcorn – it tastes like gunpowder. Oh, you’re going to anyway? You haven’t have food in days? Well, that isn’t my problem now, is it? I said don’t eat it!

But all that did was distract Lionel from the clock tower collapsing on top of him. Remember that? Stratus did that a few posts ago. Well whatever. It finally completed its fall. And as it did so, the first checkpoint arch pinged.

“CHECKPOINT BOSS #1 DEFEATED. CHECKPOINT SYSTEM REACTIVE.”

Vespi threw her bowl of popcorn at the Dayman. “Later, nerds!” And sped off.

Villains Team

Horror finished the last bite of old rat meat in his disgusting salad and signaled for the check, only then noticing that the Nightman and Sark had abandoned him. The obsidian portal was still active, however, although hideous tentacled things were starting to crawl out of it. Deciding he wanted nothing to do with that noise, Horror summoned his puke-zombie minion.

“Yes, master?” The man was covered in blood, feather, and owl pellets.

“We’re joining my companions wherever they’ve gone to.”

“Of course.”

“Say…what’s your name anyway?”

“Nicodemo – “

“I’m going to call you Slagathor.”

“As you say, master.”

Horror and Slagathor circled the nether portal suspiciously. “Hm. They clearly went through here, but I don’t much fancy the idea of journeying among the many-angled ones…” Suddenly he seized Slagathor by the shoulder. “But you, my expendable minion, are just worthless enough to send you off through the outer regions and forge a new path for me to my companions!” Then he hurled Slagathor into the growing space/time rift. The rift promptly sealed up with a sick burping sound.

“I’ll have to inform the Nightman of his portals propensity for extradimensional ruptures. But until then, how to get to them…” And just like that, Horror was whisked away from the Whooters…

…to right beside the Nightman and Sark. “I see. It appears I can teleport at will now.” Frowning, he noticed that both the Nightman and Sark in their Zoid and chariot. “Oh, we’re doing vehicles now? Excuse me a moment.”

Horror teleported away…and back in just a few seconds (although he likely experienced something like hours wherever he went) sporting a slurping, burbling, quivering mass of flesh, bladders, tentacles and eyes. “I journeyed to the nether regions,” he explained. “And wrangled me a skin-render.” He lounged atop the…thing…sipping some sort of beverage and awaited further instructions.

[Sariel of Tevet]

INFILTRATION

“Wow. I get to be double-invisible. I think there’s a joke in there somewhere.”

"But... but I already..." Kayla mumbled, "...whatever." She hopped on her UFO and followed after the others.

INTERFERENCE

Cale frowned. "Well that was... anticlimactic. Though I guess it was just the first miniboss." He stood back up, and returned what was left of the popcorn to the Dayman. "Well, at least that all resolved itself in a timely fashion. Anyway, guess the break's over." Boopen Jr.'s ink jets started up again, coating the debris behind them with a fresh coat of squid-juice. As it started to move forward, Cale drew his still-glowing swords, and they sped off after Vespi, once again leaving behind a trail of destruction as Cale casually cleaved, causing continuing chaos.

[Sariel of Tevet]

Interference

Scarlet followed the group, generally letting them blaze the trail. It was easier for her that way, and her bar was constantly filling anyway, what with the giant looming shadows partially eating the city.

"Hm. That's a squid. Calamari sounds pretty good right now too... But alas, I have no cooking gear."
"Hey. Hey! Pssst!"
Scarlet looked around for the source of the voice until she found a tall, skinny man in a suit beckoning to her.

"You look like a lawyer," she stated blandly, a look of disgust on her face.
"I AM a lawyer! I need your help! My sister's going to win our epic duel if don't go with any help."
"That sentence was a mess."
"'Course it was! Read the badge," he pointed to an overly shiny badge on his jacket.

"I. R. Badd, Attorney at Evil," Scarlet read aloud, "You... have got to be kidding me."
"No. No kidding here. Now, come on! We must defeat my grammatically right sister."
Scarlet felt her eye start twitching, much like it had when the Dayman had started singing Celine Dion, but she followed the strange man anyway. He was headed in the direction her group had gone anyway, what was the harm?

"BUT WAIT!"
"What?" Scarlet snapped, having walked into him as he stopped suddenly.
"I... I don't know what tie I should wear for our showdown! This one? Or this one? Maybe this one? You there! Which is worse. Worse means better because I.R. Badd is evil."
"Ugh, I don't know what's making me want to throw up more; your tie collection or your ridiculous logic..."

And then something horrifying happened. I. R. Badd started laughing. The sound was so abysmally ridiculous that even Scarlet was powerless to do anything but burst out laughing.

I quit. This is too much.