LHC Official Unofficial CF Archival Thing

[Sariel of Tevet]

And then Ephantus burst onto the scene, landing in front of everyone with a dramatic, earth-shaking crunch.

"I AM LOSING MY PATIENCE WITH THIS FARCE." He boomed, cannons beginning to glow anew with red energy. "AND THE TIME FOR SUBTLETY IS LONG PAST." He looked at the Economancer. "I WILL DESTROY YOU, THEN INALLY GET SOME ANSWERS ABOUT WHY PRIORITY KEYPHRASE: PROJECT_MIDNIGHT KEEPS BEING SAID."


His intention made clear, and with little care for the others in his way, Ephantus fired his lasers at the Economancer. All of them. Like, seriously just a large amount of lasers.

[Sariel of Tevet]

Scarlet stopped mid-nom... mostly because the rest of her cookie disappeared, "My... my cookie..."
She peered out from under the table and scowled at Dow Jones, "You owe me a new cookie. And what's with this crappy power level?" Just as she finished complaining, she watched the number go down, "Oh, that's lovely... Sexist bastard. No matter. Everyone knows that the best way to shut down an economy is by boycott."

She sat on the floor with her legs crossed, hands overlapping in a meditative position. The shadows around her intensified as she focused her power, the number above her head slowly rising.

"My strategy is simple: Boycott the market while investing in a personal savings account. Once the market crashes, use the savings to perform a buyout. Depending on Dow Jones' number, though, we may need to form a trust and buy out the market together." She smiled crookedly at the group, then closed her eyes and let her "savings" continue to rise.

[Sariel of Tevet]

Mhenlo and Vidaar rose from the table, the monk casting curious glances at the ranger, and the ranger's visage completely void of emotion, his gaze at the ground. They joined the rest of the group in time to see Haley begin her assault on Dow Jones, Bartholemew toss her some heavy weapons, Ephantus fire every cannon he possessed at the Economancer, and the demon-lady begin her boycott.

Mhenlo looked at Vidaar and went to speak, but decided against it. Now was not the time, not during such a battle.

Vidaar raised his gaze, scoping out his new quarry, his face still unreadable. He drew his bow and an arrow, speaking elven words of power as he did so. "Sulie pusta!" he said, and the wind began to change, becoming a tailwind for Vidaar and his group and allowing his arrows to fly faster and farther. He then readied his bow with its ammunition, took aim at the money mage, and let fly, the arrow screaming for the forehead of the currency conjurer.

Mhenlo stood there, admiring Vidaar's technique and abilities. However, shocked at such a reaction, he shook his head. Why am I looking at this man this way? he thought to himself. It's almost a look of longing. Why? I cannot be attracted to him. His mind trailed off, leading his thoughts away from the matters at hand.

[Sariel of Tevet]

The Dayman glanced above his head and saw the "200*". And thought it was quite a tiny, peasant like number. Certainly unworthy of someone with such a dazzling codpiece on display. The mention of his codpiece, of course, warranted a peek at his peak. The Dayman looked down at his conspicuous crotch covering, which was now emblazoned with an asterisks.

'Of course! This number is 200xcodpiece! Royal points are quite potent you realize. A codpiece is worth exactly pi, for you unaware commoners, because pie is quite a delicacy in the kingdom. What a power increase!"

He saw Scarlet pouting on the floor, doing nothing, which was not uncommon for lower classes to do of course. Quite a lazy people. Perched on their stoops all day. People will jog by yelling "Hey stoop kid! Come down off your stoop!" But alas, they never do. Quite a depressing way to live.

At any rate, The Dayman became momentarily inspired.

"Of course! What better a way is there to bring down a market than to simply not participate! We shall use the power of peasantry to defeat this foe! A boycott it is."

The Dayman began to pull out picket signs from his infinity belt that read "Occupy Stormfront", and tossed one at Scarlet's feet. He then unveiled a small army of tents, porta potties, a Jamba Juice, some bands, and an entire crowd of hipsters whose power levels were exactly "1" across the board. Because that is what living in a commune gets you, children. That is your reward.

The Dayman sat down next to Scarlet with his own picket sign and the crowd gathered around them both, and awaited victory.

[Sariel of Tevet]

"Hmph. Feels like the munitions market..." Dow Jones extended his right hand towards Ephantus' laser barrage "...is taking a downturn!" On cue, the lasers (and Vidaar's arrow, consequently) turned abruptly 90 degrees and went straight into the ground a safe distance away. Then he sneered at the burgeoning Occupy Stormfront movement. "I suppose if transparency is that important to you lazy goodfornothings, then so be it! Reveal: Dow Jones' Net Worth!"

There came the distinct sound of a bell ringing somewhere, followed by applause, and then the appearance of his power stock: 999. "You exist in my world, lower class scum! It should be no surprise that I reign...supreme..." He seemed to suddenly become aware of Ephantus again.

"All that declared- let's see this shit go down." He says, as he draws his blades- chains appearing, tightening.. but his form not yet warping in to any of his releases.

"Let's go now," Haley hissed at Bartholemew. "While he's distracted." She loaded his lead bullets into her guns and motioned to Vidaar and Mhenlo as well. "Go!" Her shout was lost in the roar of her shots.

Even so, Dow Jones remained distracted by Ephantus and the numbers struggling to calculate his power.

[Sariel of Tevet]

Scarlet looked from the picket sign to the Dayman and back again... Several times.

"Oh. The lunatic is agreeing with me... That means I'm either doing something right, or everything's about to go to shit."

Her face remained impassive as Dow Jones' "Net Worth" flashed an unreasonably high number, "Yeah... That always happens."

Still, she made no move. The objective now was to observe while continuing to gather her power. Patience was everything-- you had to know how to read the market you know. Buy, or sell; invest, or save... And the market was always changing, that she knew for sure.

The roar of gunfire snapped her out of her thoughts and she smirked slightly, eyes on Dow Jones.

Data, data, data.

[Sariel of Tevet]

The Dayman, still resolute and stalwart, as royalty always is. Stayed put.

"Patience, yes. Royalty do not possess that. We have no need to really. We receive what we want, when we want, you see."

He flicked his codpiece in the direction of a nearby hipster, who was munching on a plate of brownies, of questionable content. The plate began to glow a shade of purple, overcome with the powers of pomp, and it floated over to The Dayman, who promptly took a large bite.

"Exquisite! I can't identify whatever this...potent ingredient is. You commoners cook such interesting food. Perhaps because you cannot afford proper ingredients? Ah no matter! Have some brownies while we await!"

He pushed the plate towards Scarlet.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Nightman, lulled to sleep by the assembly line anthem clanking in the background, was leaned over a laptop containing the layout for the duplicates being...well...duplicated. A large window was open with a translucent frame of The Nightman, with a layer of cogs and wires inside, and a transparent layer of metal cast over the top. The title read "Obsidian Nights".

Sir, sir you really should wake up. Please. Just...what? No. No sir, I wasn't watching you sleep. No! Well of course I narrate everything. It's my job to...well yes. Everything. Yes...sir...even your alone time. Well of course it is awkward, for both of us I must admit, but my job must be done. No...no I suppose if no one is around to hear it...then I shouldn't be narrating but sir...right now you have to wake up because...well people are around to hear. There has to be action you can't just sleep! You are a villain! Monologue or something.

I...yes, sir. I apologize. I don't know how to do your job..only you know how to do your job. I am just a henchmen. I...ok. The Nightman rose from his well needed slumber, and looked quite rested and magnificent I might add. No bed head at all! Clothing still askew...sorry...yes I know how much you hate ass kissing sir. I will stick to the approved dialogue.

"Hmmmm."

The Nightman reached down and tilted his laptop screen upwards so that he could see it without seating himself again.

"Clone capacity at nearly 60%. Impressive for an out dated bunker."

He walked across the room, passing the occasional Project Midnight banner, coffee mug, stuffed animal, bumper sticker, underpants, condoms, posters, and gift cards. Coincidentally...the gift shop was to the right of the cloning room. They used to give tours back in the day I hear. In hindsight...that may have contributed to them being shut down.

The Nightman made it to a large warehouse section, filled with upright robot clones. Eyes closed, motionless, and with no commands entered thus far.

"I just wish I knew how to control them. It seems Project Midnight may have had similar issues...which is why I opted for robots instead but...so far they do not obey."

He turned his attention to the heap of destroyed robots, that were delightfully dimwitted enough to attempt to live their own lives and disobey The Nightman. Honestly, what kind of robotic clone of an evil clone wants to travel the world and meet the woman of his dreams? Such a silly idea. They were terminated immediately.

Sir, I believe you should see this. Yes, at the laptop. A live feed was being shown from Stormfront. The Dayman had just controlled an inanimate object and brought it towards him.

"Hmmm. The codpiece....somehow gives him complete control over objects."

He minimized the cam feed and began to stare at the clone setup.

"We need to get that codpiece, at any cost."

Then he raised the production speed of the assembly line to full power.

[Sariel of Tevet]

"Ah. Our guest of honor is here at last..." He said, slowly turning to the number 314 above his head. Taking this moment to view the numbers on everyone else's head out of sheer curiosity, it was clear to him that he was shockingly the second most powerful member of the party. However, there was no for gloating about it all.

"Master... That is quite the foul move there... Weakening the ladies for the effort of one. Whose to say that a woman is incapable of doing what a man is capable of?" Armaros asked, watching the effects of the sexist act in play.
"Agreed... But enough of that." Blake chuckled, slowly becoming deep in thought.

"Master... This world is run by the market, yes?" We will have to buy and sell, invest and save at the right times... You may not be a Capitalist person... But..."

"We might have to... And while I have some knowledge at my disposal... we just have to strike." Blake smirked, heading to join Scarlet in the waiting as well did Armaros.

[Sariel of Tevet]

Bartholemew nods in Agreement with Haley- and darts forwards. He warps reality only slightly- not releasing at all.. merely manipulating physics to remove air resistance for himself for a few moments, and to make his limbs stronger and faster for a few more- as he darts forwards to strike at the exposed back of the Economicist.

[Sariel of Tevet]

Alias
Confusion covered him, and when he blacked out, there was the feel of his body smashing against the floor. He did not know how long he was out for, though when he moved back to his feet, he noticed his pained arm. "Poison" he remembered the one whom did this saying he was poisoned.

Slowly, he stumbled out of a ruined house, specifically ruined because he had landed on it. Eyes flicking to all the events transpiring, such as 'where was the giant thing at? and hearing over about something called a codpiece, whatever that was. Stumbling around, he rolled onto things, jumping over others, confusion causing his head to spin. Dropping out of his poisoned state, yet slowly.

The Water Elemental
Chaos was a word she did not use often enough, especially since this moment was purely chaos. If she could smile though, she would. For she had gone beyond the gates slightly in search of some water source. That was when she had found a river, not a large river, though a river non the less, and wherever the water was coming from. Presumable a large water source, was gone to be missing some as she reached her hand inside and absorbed some. Flowing past medium power level right to high power levels. Basically, she was a tall water beast made out of a bunch of water.

She threw herself back, flowing back towards, then around the city walls, molding back into a slightly large humanoid shape. She then glanced over the walls, which was an odd way to say it as she did not have eyes. For a moment she was confused, and had to look around at it all to make sense of it. Even then, she would have to think to understand what just all happened, and how in the time she was gone.

[Sariel of Tevet]

Kayla sighed, and looked to where the slowly growing protest group was making their stand. "That... actually seems like the smartest route to take. At the very least, it makes more sense than charging him head on." She began walking towards them, then turned back to her brother. "Coming?"

Cale, who had been staring at the number above his head for some time now, slowly turned to look at her with a somber expression. "117," he monotoned. "The lowest number on the board, aside from yours." He clenched his fists. "I'm even lower than that guy with the wolf! I-"

Kayla shook her head. "I already know where this is going. Just... don't hurt yourself, alright?" She turned away, and joined Scarlet's movement.

Cale nodded, then jumped onto the ruined remains of the bakery and drew his revolver. He fired six shots, then quickly switched to his bow. After releasing another volley, he swapped out for his swords. "Give me a low net worth, will you?" He looked at the longsword in his right hand and grinned. "You know... I think I actually just remembered something." He turned his head back to face the economancer, his grin becoming wider. "My father made these swords... out of spare metal from other projects. No money was spent in the creation of these weapons, and they aren't up for sale. Which means... THEY'RE OUTSIDE OF YOUR CONTROL, DOW JONES!"

He pointed the longsword at his enemy, and the shortsword away, striking a pose worthy of royalty as a particularly over-dramatic bolt of lightning struck behind him. "AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!" he screamed as he leapt at Dow Jones. He swept his left sword forward, propelling himself into a spin, and in doing so breaking free from the grasp of normal physics. "IT'S TIME TO FOR SOME SPENDING CUTS THAT WILL CRASH THIS MARKET FOR GOOD! WHIRLING PRICE SLASH!!"

[Sariel of Tevet]

"How can this be..." Dow Jones muttered, watching as Ephantus' power calculations finally settled on '' "In ability to value...recalculate!" Dow Jones increased the amount of his power dedicated to discovering Ephantus' power, which left him open to all attacks. First, the attacks from Haley connected with him (but they did not pierce him because of COURSE he has a force shield of some kind). He snapped back to attention...in time for Cale's and Bartholemew's strikes to find their marks.

First, Bartholemew stuck Dow Jones' back - then Cale's Whirling Price Slash his front.

"You caught me with my back turned," he growled, sinking to the ground. "But even so that shouldn't have worked!"

"We are the 99%!" Dorian shouted.

"Occupy Stormfront. Of course." He finally gave them his full attention. "I thought you would be just a minor annoyance, but you've proven to be a formidable economic force. No matter, my power still far surpasses yours! With such a high net worth, there isn't anything I cannot buy! Officers, arrest those vagabonds! They are trespassing on private land. Assume malicious intent."

As if by magic (shocker, right?) an entire squadron of Stormfront SWAT Officers appeared, armed with full riot gear, including body armor, assault rifles, riot shields, tear gas, and a couple rocket launchers.

"Don't move!" They shouted in unison. "Get on the ground!"

[Sariel of Tevet]

The Dayman, a bit woozy from the mysterious brownies hitting his stomach, lacked his usual bounds of class and restraint. He stood and pointed a royal finger at the police, but then immediately felt too tired to do so and sat back down.

"Yooooooou........pigs! Don't you oppress us! Vaga.......bonds....I have no bonds and they aren't nearly as vaga as you think they are! But if it is vagabonds you are arresting...then...look again coppers!"

The Dayman was about to imbue the entire social movement with pomp, but became distracted by his growling stomach. His eyes, which at this point were not as sparkly as usual, widened and fixed themselves on his glorious nine pack abs.

"Tummy monster attack! Nooooo!!!!! I counter attack with...............more pizza!"

The Dayman leaned backwards and flicked open his infinity belt and pulled out a pizza cannon. He began to shoot pizza all over the place, slices of the ultimate munchy pizza collided with protesters, the swat team, and even a few found their way towards Dow Jones. He stood and walked over to the nearest swat officer, pealed a slice of cheesey goodness off of his face, and began to munch away.

"Mmmm. Much better, now that that beast is quelled...POMP FOR EVERYONE YALL!"

The Dayman began to gyrate his codpeice about as a dazzling curtain of purple swept across the protesting party. They all began to glow, and their power levels rose high above the levels of the arresting officers. He walked over to the highest ranking official, seized his handcuffs, and placed the officer into custody.

"I believe you, vagabonds, are trespassing on our movement! Oh what an arrested development this seems to be. Seize them hipsters!"

The protesters swarmed the police in an act of unprecedented class warfare, and withstood blasts of pepper spray and tazers in order to begin placing them into custody.

[Sariel of Tevet]

Bartholemew grins- now he's in Melee.

He ignores the proceedings- deciding it's better for his oft fragile mental state to do so, and continues to hack and slash at Dow- before Bullets head for him and Haley from the SWAT Team. His response is to laugh- he shifts in to a vortex of blackness, and takes the shots for both of them.

[Sariel of Tevet]

Scarlet couldn't help but chuckle, though she did edge away a bit from the Dayman and his gyrating. Bad, or at least strange, things tended to happen when he started doing that...

"If there isn't anything you can't buy, can it not be safe to assume that you have a monopoly on the entire market? And aren't monopolies what happens when capitalism fails?" Scarlet shook her head, catching a stray piece of pizza and munching nonchalantly on it, "You, sir," She pointed with her pizza at Dow Jones, "are your own worst enemy. In order for capitalism to succeed, the market must have competitive pricing. One person alone cannot dictate the market pricing."

Just then, a few stray bullets from the SWAT team headed her way. She half shifted to her viper's form, covering herself with hard, serpentine scales. The bullets bounced safely off of her.

"You've chipped my scales," She frowned, directing her fearsome, snakelike glare towards the offending officer. She melted into the shadows and emerged out of his, grabbing his collar and pulling him in so they were nose to nose. The officer, now bearing one of the lowest values thanks to the Dayman's... Whatever he just did... whimpered fearfully at Scarlet's fanged, sinister grin.

"Would you like a brownie?" she asked suddenly, her scales fading as she brushed imaginary dust from the officer's collar, "Come, come, join the resistance! Down with the monopolizing economancer! Anarchy prevails!"

[Sariel of Tevet]

Conventional attacks weren't working, that much quickly became evident to Ephantus. He stopped firing at Dow Jones after a while and decided to take note of what the others were doing to combat their odd opponent.

A protest movement.


A strange surge of calculation errors and enigmatic runtimes washed throgh him (all in a long forgotten syntax that would make one go mad simply by looking at it) and after a moment Ephantus decided to call this phenomenon outrage. If they wanted to sit around being hippies, fine by him. HE was going to do something more direct.

But he would be damned if he was going to do so with annoying economics-based attacks.

"This place..." he looked around slowly. Oh. Now he recongized what it was. A projection of Dow Jone's very soul. "A VERY FOOLISH THING TO DO, ECONOMANCER." Ephantus boomed.

Then he began to release his consciousness into the whole area. THe air began to hum with static. If one were to pay closer attention they would realize it was binary. Of course, that binary was simply the safest way their brains could prcess the unspeakable words and syllables that were beginning to spread all across the realm.

"TIME FOR A HOSTILE TAKE-OVER!" Ephantus yelled...then immediately regretted it.

[Sariel of Tevet]

Fueled by Dow Jones' magic, more and more SWAT teams arrived and began tasing and pepper-spraying the protestors mercilessly, all while screaming "Police brutality!" For a long time, it seemed like the Occupy Stormfront movement was going to be pounded into the ground (and I mean a LONG time of beatings, like a really long time) until, that is, Ephantus began to impose his own will upon the Alteration Zone.

Haley relinquished her assault on Dow Jones and watched Ephantus' assault. "Uh. That...that doesn't look good."

Dow Jones snarled and began to pump as much magic as he could into his Alteration Zone, desperately attempting to maintain the integrity of the soul projection. But he was failing, just barely halting the advance of Ephantus' will. He might have been able to hold him off for a bit longer...if it weren't for the Economic Bubble effect running it's course.

"Oh no!" And it did feel like a bubble burst, all of his power seemed to suddenly dissipate - and his power level reflected that, rapidly ticking down from 999 to 0 in just a few seconds. And just like that, Ephantus' hostile takeover completely consumed the Economancer's Alteration Zone, which shattered as well, reverting Stormfront's state pre-battle (although still partly destroyed).

Dow Jones collapsed to the ground, struggling to move, but he could feel Ephantus' influence deep within hid mind. "What did you do to me?" he wheezed.

-----

And it so happened that one of those robot clones things that the Nightman employed wandered into a forgotten corner of the Project: Midnight facility. The only object in that closet was a stasis chamber with a note taped on the door. "DO NOT OPEN" it read. Well, it used to read that, but at some point the 'not' had been torn away leaving just "DO OPEN" which should have alerted the robot as theat is just horrible grammar, but it didn't, so he opened it.

And he immediately exploded because the Horror contained within was so horrible.

Horror staggered out of the chamber and seized the exploded robot and shouted "Take me to your leader!"

When the robot started falling apart, he realized it was dead. Not wanting to actually bite the machine, he coughed at it, turning it into a zombie robot clone. It staggered to its feet and moaned. "Ok. Now take me to your leader."

Confused, the zombiebot pointed at Horror.

"No the...the guy who made you...before I turned you."

The zombiebot thought about it and nodded, then turned and shambled out the door, leading Horror to the Nightman.

[Sariel of Tevet]

"I made you MINE, meatling." Ephantus's mechanical voice rumbled in satisfaction. "Your mind erodes in close proximity to this form. My machines infest your body while my mind infiltrates your very being." he stared down at the economancer for a moment. "Though it might be amusing to leave you with some semblance of free will...."

He thought about it for a moment. "...OR NOT." Ephantus began to increase his influence over the fallen enemy.

[Sariel of Tevet]

The Water Elemental
As most of the danger dissipated, she noted the creature doing a hostile take over of another mind. This confused her as she did not know who was the real danger. Traversing the wall, and letting the water go as she went, The Water Elemental moved in a huge stream, launching from roof top too roof top until she was above the creatures. Running down a wall behind the one known as Haley... she shaped into her usual humanoid form.

"May I ask, who is the real victim here?" her echo like voice intent on breaking tension of what she assumed was a human female, the wrappings only slightly discouraging her assumption. "I apologize if I startled you, if I did not... well, my question stands either way."

"Who is the real victim?" her question was a valid one she figured, and she hoped the wrapped up humanoid figure would agree with her question. Even more hopefully, answer it.

Alias
All the while, the lizard man had regained some semblance of consciousness, and was now watching from the shadows. His poisoned arm still throbbing in pain.

[Sariel of Tevet]

Haley was so used to new people just appearing at that point, that she failed to give the Water Elemental a proper look. "Eh? At this point, Dow Jones, probably, but..." she shrugged. "I mean. We should probably stop the big machine, but he looks scary." Then she really turned to look. "Oh. I haven't actually seen you before. Who are you?"

Ephatnus writhed on the ground, attempting to resist Ephantus' control. "You...will not...take my...ugh!"

"...G...Great Depression!" Expending almost all of his magic, Dow Jones managed to affect a relatively small area around Ephantus hard to enough to reduce the strength of his attempted mind control (although not nearly as great as if the Alteration Zone was still in effect) which allowed him to stagger up to his feet.

"I refuse to be bought out...by a machine!" He gathered every last bit of his money magic.

"Market....FAILURE!" But instead of attacking Ephantus, he turned it inward. All of his functions and organs shut down one by one until he collapsed yet again to the ground and with his last breath he whispered... "soul mortgage" and disappeared in a puff of burned dollar bills.