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Post by TEAM_DERRICK on Aug 16, 2009 22:10:35 GMT -5
DICKS EVERYWHERE!
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Post by Mizagium on Aug 29, 2009 21:17:10 GMT -5
hahahahahahahahaha
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Post by TEAM_DERRICK on Aug 31, 2009 13:45:51 GMT -5
this thread is not funny in any way
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Post by Calefrun on Aug 31, 2009 14:09:23 GMT -5
this thread is not funny in any way iz funny cuz iz tru! |
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Post by Mizagium on Aug 31, 2009 15:53:51 GMT -5
zac is a WoW fag that will never get laid! OHOHOHOHO! Funny joke is funny.
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Post by Calefrun on Aug 31, 2009 16:38:52 GMT -5
abstinance patrol!
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Moniko
Short-story Writer
THAT KID!
Shaken, not stirred.
Posts: 396
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Post by Moniko on Aug 31, 2009 19:51:14 GMT -5
zac is a WoW fag that will never get laid! OHOHOHOHO! Funny joke is funny. Watch Zac be the one that gets laid hundreds of times in college and manages to never get an STD. lol no |
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Post by TEAM_DERRICK on Sept 1, 2009 13:52:08 GMT -5
sdakbhg ng52345215215423
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Post by Mizagium on Sept 1, 2009 14:22:10 GMT -5
zac is a WoW fag that will never get laid! OHOHOHOHO! Funny joke is funny. Watch Zac be the one that gets laid hundreds of times in college and manages to never get an STD. lol no the universe would aspload. twice. In reverse. |
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Post by Razgat on Sept 2, 2009 18:56:37 GMT -5
A salesman was reprimanded for not anticipating a customer's needs. The manager said, "If someone comes in looking for a fishing pole, try to sell him some tackle and a tackle box as well."
The salesman had this in mind when a very embarrassed looking gentleman walked into the store. The gentleman whispered, "Excuse me. I need some tampons for my wife." The salesman showed him where they were and then asked, "Come with me, sir. I'd like to show you the most amazing lawn mower you've ever seen." The gentleman, clearly just wanting to get out of the store, asked gruffly, "Why the hell do I want a lawn mower?" To which the salesman cheerfully replied, "Since your weekend's screwed, you may as well cut the grass."
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Post by Razgat on Sept 2, 2009 18:58:01 GMT -5
This is an actual letter sent to Procter & Gamble from **** ****, Austin, Texas, regarding their feminine products. . . .
Dear Mr. ****,
I have been a loyal user of your Always Maxi Pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuardCore(tm) or Dri-Weave(tm) absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favourite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.
Have you ever had a period, Mr. ****? Ever suffered from "the curse"? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my "time of the month" is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call "an inbred hillbilly with knife skills."
Isn't the human body amazing?
As Brand Manager in the Feminine-hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers' monthly visits from "Aunt Flo." Therefore, you must also know about the the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy!
The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants . . . which brings me to the reason for my letter.
Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful wanted to reach inside my body and and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on on the adhesive backing, were these words: "Have a Happy Period."
Are you f**king kidding me? Does any part of your middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness is possible during a period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, ****? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything "happy" about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local KMart armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.
For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like "Put Down the Hammer" or "Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong," or are you just picking on us?
Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flexi-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullshit. And that's a promise I will keep.
Always.
Best,
**** ****
Austin, Texas
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Post by Mizagium on Sept 2, 2009 19:03:38 GMT -5
...
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Post by Razgat on Sept 2, 2009 19:05:44 GMT -5
I love that letter....because it's true. "Have a happy period." "NO U"
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Post by Mizagium on Sept 2, 2009 19:07:53 GMT -5
...
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Bruce Leroy
Aspiring Author
Eat dat watermelon!
Posts: 647
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Post by Bruce Leroy on Sept 2, 2009 20:13:01 GMT -5
... STFU U NO GOOD DIRTY HOBO @$$ necrophiliac
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Post by Mizagium on Sept 2, 2009 20:20:31 GMT -5
you can say ass. also, Power Ranger thinks he can fight! sports.yahoo.com/mma/blog/cagewriter/post/Mighty-Morphin-Power-Ranger-morphs-into-an-MMA-f?urn=mma,186758 "Jason David Frank, who was once a Mighty Morphin' Power Ranger, is now trying to use his super powers to turn into a mixed martial artist. The former action star from the hit series "Mighty Morphin Power Rangers" has officially made the move to mixed martial arts, and while training with UFC lightweight Melvin Guillard, he hopes to make his real fighting experience as successful as he did on television. Frank is hoping to fight as soon as possible. "I was supposed to fight in 2007, but it fell through. In truth, I've wanted to put the work in until I'm ready," Frank said in an interview from the Suckerpunch website. "I know I have a target on my back. Everyone is going to want to beat up the Green Ranger." And this is the moment where I weep for MMA. Frank may just turn into a great fighter, though it's doubtful considering that he is 35 and worried about signing a management team before trying to schedule a fight. But this just furthers the notion that MMA is a fad, and can be used as a publicity stunt for someone with a flailing career. Considering that Frank's last acting job was a 2007 direct-to-video film called, "The Junior Defenders," he clearly needs a career boost. At the same time, the beauty of MMA is that there is no hiding in the cage. When pretenders have tried it out in the past, they've been shown the floor of the cage, very quickly. Right, Jose Canseco? " |
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Post by Calefrun on Sept 2, 2009 23:44:00 GMT -5
Watch Zac be the one that gets laid hundreds of times in college and manages to never get an STD. lol no the universe would aspload. twice. In reverse. actually, 4/0 times. That simplifies to... O SHI- |
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Post by TEAM_DERRICK on Sept 3, 2009 12:06:48 GMT -5
mhjjsmsm
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Post by Calefrun on Sept 3, 2009 15:02:27 GMT -5
vfbgffbcjhsehjehjusehjusehjuehjujudjufhjsgas? |
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Post by Mizagium on Sept 3, 2009 15:06:40 GMT -5
;iojmcbfynot 89py9wcn9p854wv n9p54v n89pwthpnr tchi 9p8r c9y8p w 45gu90w i]
c89 bywtr 8i 8;
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