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Post by Mizagium on May 15, 2013 0:33:09 GMT -5
Jeff threw up his hands. "Ok. Whatever. You. Lava Rock. We're entering this tournament now." He pointed at Leon. "Pair us up, Leon, my man!"
THEN AS IF A CONVENIENT PLOT DEVICE HAPPENED
Zelmon, Evennia's paladin burst into the room, followed closely by Xeltyr, that time traveler from Southryos.
"There you are!" Zelmon declared, brandishing his mace, alight with the flame of nondivinity. "I have been tracking you all for three pages of nonsense, but now I have come to stop you, Jeffrey Valentine, in the name of Evennia, Queen of Storms!"
"SEE?" Jeffrey shouted at no one in particular. "THIS PLOT IS WHAT I WAS...you know what, fine. Enter the tournament, and you'll have a shot at taking us down."
"I shall do this." He pointed at Leon. "Enter me!"
Xeltyr raised a hand. "Yeah, me too. Timeline's already screwed. And I'm stuck here, anyway."
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Post by Monika on May 15, 2013 0:52:29 GMT -5
"What in the world...?" Leon gazed at all of the potential newcomers from his seat high upon the lifeguard tower. "I could have sworn that registration for this tournament was closed. I've got the established list right here!" Leon unfurled a scroll of parchment which revealed a number of combatants, all of whom were handpicked by the Ring Federation. "Double crossing the totally-not-mafia here is probably a bad idea..." Leon mused. "Then again, I've handled mobs back in my day," he replied to no one, smiling as he recalled that time in Southryos he easily commandeered a mob-owned smoothie bar.
"Whatever!" The list promptly burned in his hands in response to the high heat (this was a volcano, after all...) and was replaced by a new list that materialized from nowhere. "The first battle shall be between-" he gazed at the new list of combatants. "-1980's Power Rocker, the Maverick-"
Rather than go wild, the crowds audibly expressed their confusion - many asking "What?" and "Who?" Others expressed disappointment; they had been expecting the notable contender Bulk Hogan to be fighting the Lava Rock in the next round.
"-and the Sultan of Sourdough, the Master of Matza, the Toasty Terror himself...It's the BREAD WIZARD!" Leon continued.
Collectively, every single member of the crowd (and Leon himself) shouted "YOU SUCK BREAD WIZARD!"
"Without further ado, let's begin! Round 1: Fight!" With a snap of his fingers, Leon banished the Lava Rock from the cage and teleported Maverick and the Bread Wizard inside for their epic battle.
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Post by Myrdraxxis on May 15, 2013 1:07:23 GMT -5
"Wait what?" The Bread Wizard asked in confusion, having not given any form of consent to joining this tournament. "I'm against fighting for sport-"
"Shut up and fight!" Magnus picked the Bread Wizard up and threw him into the ring.
Somewhat flustered, the Bread Wizard picked himself up and immidiately conjured a pair of bread-swords. He charged at Maverick with a bellow that was more of confusion than aggression.
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Bruce Leroy
Aspiring Author
Eat dat watermelon!
Posts: 647
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Post by Bruce Leroy on May 15, 2013 1:20:02 GMT -5
"AAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL RRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHTTTTTTTT!!" Maverick pulled out his drumsticks began to play a quick air drums solo after which they turned into twin swords. "LET"S ROCK!" with that he charged forward at the Bread Wizard. With clang, all four of the blades collided and the battle began.
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Post by Mizagium on May 15, 2013 1:23:26 GMT -5
Jeffrey, Xeltyr, Zelmon, Fabio-Ridley, and the Ridleys all took their seats in the audience. Zelmon sat apart from the others. Xelyr sat with a chair between him and Jeff. Fabio-Ridley and Rachel Ridley sat next to each other, talons locked, and Riley and Ridley sat behind them.
"Pretty weird, huh?" Jeff attempted small talk with Xeltyr.
"Didn't you rob a museum?"
"Nope." Jeff shook his head. "Couldn't have been. We're the protagonists." He deliberately avoided looking at the cage-match between the Bread Wizard and newcomer Maverick.
"Uh huh." Xeltyr sighed. "Well, in my future, you 'protagonists' end up causing the world to be consumed in darkness and chaos. End will return soon, Jeffrey Valentine," he said cryptically. "The chrysalis quickens in the furnace of madness. When it opens, He will awaken, and put an End to all of this."
"Riiiiiiight."
Jeff scooted down a few more seats and studied the fight intensely.
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Post by Monika on May 15, 2013 1:39:09 GMT -5
"Hooray!" Sailor Eros smiled, attempting to navigate the poorly lit row of chairs to find a seat. "I'm glad that's taken care of. Now we don't have to worry about entering the tournament! Only one of us winning it." Then she looked down at the cage match between the Bread Wizard and Maverick. "Hmm...Then again, is either one of them on our side? From what I've read, the Bread Wizard was antagonistic toward the group earlier...and Maverick literally just appeared. I don't know who to root for!" A heart shaped light-bulb appeared over Eros' head. "Aha! I've got it! Disguise Power: Engage!" She twirled her almighty Staff of Love!, and in another flashy transformation sequence that gets annoying to repeatedly describe, she changed into a... Dallas Mavericks cheerleader uniform? Complete with pink pompoms, too. Backflipping straight into one of the empty seats Jeff had used to distance himself from Xeltyr, she rambunctiously shouted "I'll just cheer for both of them! Go Bread Wizard! Go Maverick! You can do it!!" Sailor Eros flailed the pompoms wildly, nearly hitting Jeff with one of them.
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Post by Myrdraxxis on May 15, 2013 1:45:25 GMT -5
"Have at thee!" The Bread Wizard yelled gallantly, jumping back and throwing his bread blades at Maverick. When they hit, they promptly exploded. The Bread Wizard conjured two more, then repeated the process. Then again another three times.
"He's going a little heavy on the explosives aint he?" Leske mused as the mook trio watched on.
"He's been around us too long." Magnus agreed.
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Post by Calefrun on May 15, 2013 2:18:15 GMT -5
"That was quite the close call, wouldn't you agree, Lobster?" the unmistakable voice of the Illusive Squid came from behind Jeff. The former was perched on top of the chair of the latter, though his appearance was completely different. His unrealistic-looking guns were still present, but he now wore a leather duster and had spurs on what were now boots. He also had a bandoleer over the vest that had replaced his suit jacket. Most noticeably, his squid-head had been replaced by a human one, albeit one with a "beard" consisting of pink tentacles. The human head had long, gray hair and a similarly-colored mustache, and he held a cigar in his mouth.
"That Shark Lord almost recognized us. Almost." Luckily, Bruce could not have really recognized the Squid. He was too Illusive for that.
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Post by Mizagium on May 15, 2013 2:24:45 GMT -5
"Who ARE you?" Jeff demanded, screaming for some reason. The sight of the changed Squid Lord unsettled him deeply. "I don't know any Lobsters or Squids or...Sharks or whatever! Stop calling me Commander Lobster!" He tried to back away, tripping over some chairs and falling into the first row. "Leave me alone!" He tossed his hands into the air and ran erratically through the stands.
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Post by Damien on May 15, 2013 8:42:11 GMT -5
Trosdan sat and watched the whole spectacle take place: the Bread Wizard's exploding blades of bread, the Illusive Squidman scaring the hell out of Jeff, Zelmon and Xeltyr appearing out of nowhere and also deciding to join this tournament....it all seemed a bit much in his opinion.
He muttered something under his breath, and four stone walls shop up from the ground surrounding Jeff. Trosdan walked over, lowered one of the walls, grabbed Jeff by the arm and pulled him back to the seats, away from the Illusive Squidman, but right next to him. He then turned to Jeff and spoke.
"Sorry about the little smack on the behind back there," he said. "I think your super shmoove tux and glasses just got me a little worked up." He winked at Jeff and patted him on the shoulder.
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Post by Sariel of Tevet on May 15, 2013 15:14:26 GMT -5
The Dayman took his seat, after cleaning it with his codpiece of course, wrestling seating is almost the most plebeian form of seating there is. "This will be quite the tournament, once I finally am entered in it of course."
His mind began to drift back to times past when he heard Jeff quickly try to deny their museum hijinks.
"Oh how I wish Hobotron were here, we could have defeated this entire tournament single handedly together.
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Post by blazinvire on May 16, 2013 0:32:46 GMT -5
Perish sat rather lifelessly in the stands, staring at the arena looking most unimpressed, contemplating knifing people in the audience to take out her frustrations. "I can't believe we're going to suddenly play by the rules here... I swear we have enough firepower in this party we could easily kill absolutely everyone and then waltz out with these rings that I've forgotten the importance of," Perish said with exasperation.
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Post by Mizagium on May 16, 2013 15:19:54 GMT -5
Jeff narrowed his eyes at Trosdan. "Yeeeaaaah." Gingerly, with his index and thumb, he lifted Trosdan's hand off of his shoulder and placed on Trosdan's lap. With a pat and a sarcastic smile, he stood, looked around, and walked away, hoping to find another seat.
"Your kind is a rarity in my time," Xeltyr said to Trosdan. Apparently, he had followed Jeff. He wasn't sitting, though. He was standing and staring at Trosdan. "When the End came, your people fought valiantly against Him, but in the end you were annihilated. Some of you survived though. He has you on display as trophies." He blinked. "Visitors throw peanuts. I've never been."
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Post by Myrdraxxis on May 17, 2013 17:48:04 GMT -5
The Bread Wizard threw a few more bread explosives at Maverick, mainly out of boredom. His opponent had yet to actually DO ANYTHING.
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Bruce Leroy
Aspiring Author
Eat dat watermelon!
Posts: 647
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Post by Bruce Leroy on May 17, 2013 23:36:10 GMT -5
Maverick, having just realized that the Bread Wizard was attacking, opened his mouth and proceeded to eat the bread explosives. "GOODNESS GRACIOUS GREAT BALLS OF FIRE!" reached behind his back and grabbed his guitar. "Now, let's get this party started." With that, Maverick began to play a song, as if he were completely oblivious to his match with the Bread Wizard. Suddenly, as he began to get into the song, smoke, fog, and lasers began to come out from behind as if he were at a concert. Once the light show was in full swing, Maverick opened his mouth and sang out, "Yoooooou have no idea, what you just walked into. Yooooour gonna die, oh you giant fool!" As his last word rang out, a laser flew out and was headed straight for the Bread Wizards head.
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Post by Myrdraxxis on May 17, 2013 23:56:21 GMT -5
The attack caught the Bread Wizard by surprise and nearly took his head off as a result. "So you finally respond, villain! And it seems my breadsplosions have no effect on you!"
So the Bread Wizard conjured a pair of bread boxing gloves. "Let's go!" he charged at Maverick, sending a powerful right hook at his face....which missed. The momentum sent the Bread Wizard spiralling past Maverick and slammed his head on the ground. Out cold.
"Say it with me, everyone." Magnus sighed.
"YOU SUCK BREAD WIZARD!"
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Bruce Leroy
Aspiring Author
Eat dat watermelon!
Posts: 647
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Post by Bruce Leroy on May 18, 2013 0:01:19 GMT -5
"So....So.... I win right?" Maverick said with a puzzled look.
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Post by Monika on May 18, 2013 0:30:06 GMT -5
"Well!" Leon looked down at the cage with a mixture of bewilderment and amusement. "That certainly was...anticlimactic. The winner, by technical (and I mean that in every sense of the word) knockout is Maverick! Congratulations!" With a snap of his fingers, Leon warped Maverick outside of the cage and into the stands with the rest of the crowd.
"Now, our next combatants are.." He withdrew the list of fighters from his pocket, unrolled it and read "The super bubbly, hyper energetic Enforcer of Love, Sailor Eros-
"That's me!" Sailor Eros cried from the stands, prancing down the steps and in front of the steel cage.
Rolling his eyes, Leon continued. "And the heavily armored atheist paladin, Zelmon! If both combatants are ready - and I know they are - let the battle commence! Round 2: Fight!" Another snap of the fingers and Leon teleported both Zelmon and Sailor Eros into the interior of the cage, the latter of which was still in her cheerleader costume.
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Post by Mizagium on May 18, 2013 0:40:28 GMT -5
Zelmon brought his armored fist to his chest with a heavy thud and bowed. "Forgive me, my lady. My intention is not to do harm to you--I swore an oath. But sometimes a knight must break an earlier oath to uphold a newer oath. Or...something..." He stood awkwardly. "Ahem. Well, like I said. No wish to do you harm, but I must win this tournament."
He brandished his mace and shield. "You may surrender now and no harm will come to you, but if you persist I will bring the full wrath of the gods I the don't believe in down on you." Ghostly blue energy radiated from him. "You are warned."
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Post by Monika on May 18, 2013 11:16:27 GMT -5
Sailor Eros stared at her opponent for a few seconds, taking in all of his features - his demeanor, his personality, his appearance. Pressing her index finger against her lips, she glared at him for a little while longer before shouting "Aha!" and raising her finger into the air as if she had just discovered something.
With a twirl of her staff, Eros summoned a pink, swirling mass of ribbons to encase her. The encasement slowed its twirling speed and diminished in size. When the ribbons had finally slowed to a halt, they faded away, revealing Hioma, the glasses-wearing, slightly shorter but highly sensible brunette. Considering the personality of Zelmon, Hioma believed herself to be a much more suitable opponent. She was far more likely to succeed in talking out their differences than her impulsive alter ego.
"You're Zelmon, an atheist paladin. Heavily armored, your character design appears to have been pulled straight from a computer game I have in my home world. A just and loyal knight for the former war criminal and mercenary Lady Evennia, whose design is also taken from that game. Brother to the similarly armored GOLDBEZ in Awesome Land, yet another video game inspired character - albeit a far more obnoxious and ostentatious one." Delicately placing her Pen of Love! between her right ear and head, she steepled her fingers, cocked her head to one side and considered Zelmon for another brief moment.
"Tell me, Zelmon. What reason do you have to win this tournament?" she asked.
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