Post by Mizagium on Dec 16, 2009 16:53:42 GMT -5
www.cracked.com/blog/tales-to-tell-round-midnight-the-bloody-kid/
After the dance, Evan would be… well, we’ll get to the dance. Right now we’ll deal with Evan walking to school. It was his first year of 7th grade, and he hoped he would not need a second year to finish. He had completed all of his previous grades in the normal amount of time, but you never know when things could take a turn, especially in Rape Town, which was full of spooky ghosts.
This day’s ghosts were quite helpful on Evan’s walk to school. He was advised the route he should take to school should he want to avoid the school bullies and some of the more surly ghosts. He made it there without any scuffles and he even found a dollar that wasn’t haunted, thanks to the least surly of the helpful ghosts.
It should probably be mentioned that the “dance” mentioned earlier and the title “The Bloody Kid” are not references to Carrie. This has nothing to do with Carrie.
Evan walked through the front double doors of St. Specterbeard’s Middle School and was immediately hit with a sigh of relief. No ghosts could walk the halls of St Specterbeard’s without first being deleted from existence, thus really not being able to walk the halls at all. The ectobarriers lining the walls, pipes, windows, and doors were provided by the St. Specterbeard Middle School and Research Center down the street, so you know they were state-of-the-art and virtually impenetrable.
Evan arrived at his locker and thought about the helpful ghosts from his walk. He was certainly lucky on this day, as most ghosts he (or really anyone) encounters are surly at best. He wondered if maybe they were actually playing a trick on him, and he would soon be hexed or at the very least embarrassed by one of their common ghostly pranks that end up killing people. Evan couldn’t blame them for their deadly pranks, though. If he were a ghost, he would want to make more and more ghost friends until there were no more living people and there were only ghosts, too.
The ghost problem was certainly the main problem plaguing Rape Town, although it was not the only one. One of the many others was the horrible horrible bird problem. They seemed to be raping a lot of the local dogs, who couldn’t help but be upset by it. The dog owners, of course, were really just more worried about the ghosts, so it was not often addressed. And, really, how would they even know about it? The dog would bark out instructions on how to understand dogs and then the owner would follow them and then the dog would bark out the incredibly scarring memory of it getting raped by some asshole bird? That seems like a lot of work and highly unlikely to boot.
The end.
No, wait! So he goes to school, you find out no one likes him and they treat him like shit, they end up pulling a prank on him at the dance that ends with him going crazy magic insane and-Okay… it’s pretty much like Carrie only instead of pigs’ blood it’s human blood. And then at the end they all apologize to him, he discovers he has the power to heal others, no one dies, and he gets to kiss the homecoming queen, who turns out to be a demon with a brain for a face.
So, yeah… Nothing like Carrie.
The end.
After the dance, Evan would be… well, we’ll get to the dance. Right now we’ll deal with Evan walking to school. It was his first year of 7th grade, and he hoped he would not need a second year to finish. He had completed all of his previous grades in the normal amount of time, but you never know when things could take a turn, especially in Rape Town, which was full of spooky ghosts.
This day’s ghosts were quite helpful on Evan’s walk to school. He was advised the route he should take to school should he want to avoid the school bullies and some of the more surly ghosts. He made it there without any scuffles and he even found a dollar that wasn’t haunted, thanks to the least surly of the helpful ghosts.
It should probably be mentioned that the “dance” mentioned earlier and the title “The Bloody Kid” are not references to Carrie. This has nothing to do with Carrie.
Evan walked through the front double doors of St. Specterbeard’s Middle School and was immediately hit with a sigh of relief. No ghosts could walk the halls of St Specterbeard’s without first being deleted from existence, thus really not being able to walk the halls at all. The ectobarriers lining the walls, pipes, windows, and doors were provided by the St. Specterbeard Middle School and Research Center down the street, so you know they were state-of-the-art and virtually impenetrable.
Evan arrived at his locker and thought about the helpful ghosts from his walk. He was certainly lucky on this day, as most ghosts he (or really anyone) encounters are surly at best. He wondered if maybe they were actually playing a trick on him, and he would soon be hexed or at the very least embarrassed by one of their common ghostly pranks that end up killing people. Evan couldn’t blame them for their deadly pranks, though. If he were a ghost, he would want to make more and more ghost friends until there were no more living people and there were only ghosts, too.
The ghost problem was certainly the main problem plaguing Rape Town, although it was not the only one. One of the many others was the horrible horrible bird problem. They seemed to be raping a lot of the local dogs, who couldn’t help but be upset by it. The dog owners, of course, were really just more worried about the ghosts, so it was not often addressed. And, really, how would they even know about it? The dog would bark out instructions on how to understand dogs and then the owner would follow them and then the dog would bark out the incredibly scarring memory of it getting raped by some asshole bird? That seems like a lot of work and highly unlikely to boot.
The end.
No, wait! So he goes to school, you find out no one likes him and they treat him like shit, they end up pulling a prank on him at the dance that ends with him going crazy magic insane and-Okay… it’s pretty much like Carrie only instead of pigs’ blood it’s human blood. And then at the end they all apologize to him, he discovers he has the power to heal others, no one dies, and he gets to kiss the homecoming queen, who turns out to be a demon with a brain for a face.
So, yeah… Nothing like Carrie.
The end.
