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TEAM_DERRICK Best-selling Author DESTROYUR OF WORLDS I am become Konata, the shitter of posts. Posts: 3,935	the arena Feb 16, 2011 18:08:25 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by TEAM_DERRICK on Feb 16, 2011 18:08:25 GMT -5 Gendo needs to have a kids show.
	youtu.be/J8Cx8AgW_u0

Mizagium Administrator TEH BOSS Posts: 15,416	the arena Feb 16, 2011 18:41:24 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Mizagium on Feb 16, 2011 18:41:24 GMT -5 Oh god yes. Bonus points if he's stoic and manipulative still
	Hon hon hon

TEAM_DERRICK Best-selling Author DESTROYUR OF WORLDS I am become Konata, the shitter of posts. Posts: 3,935	the arena Feb 16, 2011 19:40:29 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by TEAM_DERRICK on Feb 16, 2011 19:40:29 GMT -5 Bonus points for split personality
	youtu.be/J8Cx8AgW_u0

Myrdraxxis Administrator Posts: 8,700	the arena Feb 21, 2011 10:01:59 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Myrdraxxis on Feb 21, 2011 10:01:59 GMT -5
	Last Edit: Feb 21, 2011 10:05:37 GMT -5 by Myrdraxxis

Razgat Moderator Basically Everyone's Sister Posts: 6,352	the arena Feb 21, 2011 15:00:29 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Razgat on Feb 21, 2011 15:00:29 GMT -5

Major Xeno Aspiring Author Master of Fire A Perfect World makes a Horrible Story Posts: 639	the arena Feb 24, 2011 1:14:06 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Major Xeno on Feb 24, 2011 1:14:06 GMT -5
	There is nothing wrong with Planning to Conquer the World, just in the act itself. Know every possibility, every interaction of every chance, and predict which will work and which will not... improve your odds, stacks the cards, alter the game... become a Farseer.

TEAM_DERRICK Best-selling Author DESTROYUR OF WORLDS I am become Konata, the shitter of posts. Posts: 3,935	the arena Feb 24, 2011 13:37:19 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by TEAM_DERRICK on Feb 24, 2011 13:37:19 GMT -5
	youtu.be/J8Cx8AgW_u0

Major Xeno Aspiring Author Master of Fire A Perfect World makes a Horrible Story Posts: 639	the arena Feb 24, 2011 23:55:59 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Major Xeno on Feb 24, 2011 23:55:59 GMT -5 Funny pictures, not political statements. This just ruins the fun.
	There is nothing wrong with Planning to Conquer the World, just in the act itself. Know every possibility, every interaction of every chance, and predict which will work and which will not... improve your odds, stacks the cards, alter the game... become a Farseer.

Mizagium Administrator TEH BOSS Posts: 15,416	the arena Feb 25, 2011 0:04:16 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Mizagium on Feb 25, 2011 0:04:16 GMT -5 both of you deserve some kind of medal. unfortunately we don't give them out. so you don't get one.
	Hon hon hon

TEAM_DERRICK Best-selling Author DESTROYUR OF WORLDS I am become Konata, the shitter of posts. Posts: 3,935	the arena Feb 25, 2011 0:06:07 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by TEAM_DERRICK on Feb 25, 2011 0:06:07 GMT -5 I want that action figure.
	youtu.be/J8Cx8AgW_u0

Major Xeno Aspiring Author Master of Fire A Perfect World makes a Horrible Story Posts: 639	the arena Feb 27, 2011 22:50:00 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Major Xeno on Feb 27, 2011 22:50:00 GMT -5 Check Japan. Also, I think I saw a comic where he was Superman. While being the President. Ah. Found it.
	There is nothing wrong with Planning to Conquer the World, just in the act itself. Know every possibility, every interaction of every chance, and predict which will work and which will not... improve your odds, stacks the cards, alter the game... become a Farseer.

TEAM_DERRICK Best-selling Author DESTROYUR OF WORLDS I am become Konata, the shitter of posts. Posts: 3,935	the arena Feb 28, 2011 0:21:01 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by TEAM_DERRICK on Feb 28, 2011 0:21:01 GMT -5 I like Superman better when he's the premier.
	youtu.be/J8Cx8AgW_u0

TEAM_DERRICK Best-selling Author DESTROYUR OF WORLDS I am become Konata, the shitter of posts. Posts: 3,935	the arena Feb 28, 2011 1:47:31 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by TEAM_DERRICK on Feb 28, 2011 1:47:31 GMT -5
	youtu.be/J8Cx8AgW_u0

Major Xeno
Aspiring Author

Master of Fire

A Perfect World makes a Horrible Story

Posts: 639

the arena Mar 2, 2011 1:15:26 GMT -5

Quote

Post by Major Xeno on Mar 2, 2011 1:15:26 GMT -5

Operation: FUCK THE WORLD
Status: In progress.

From recovered log of legendary Dwarf Fortress Koganusan...
25th Moonstone, 1063, Early Winter

OH MY GOD. Sankis is on a bloody rampage! He mauled a baby and a cow, and now, at this very instant, he's beating the Elite Marksdwarf Kadol Lokumad into paste!

DID I MENTION HE IS ON FUCKING FIRE!??

Engraved on the wall is an masterwork designed image of a dwarf by 'Emperor Sankis' Gatinbonrek. The dwarf is in fetal position.

Final Log: "The fortress of Boatmurdered burns, without and within. All is smoke and fire. Everybody is dead, save two. I ask you to picture a lone, abandoned child and the well-known madman Guerilla Burialgears outside the heavily decorated mountainside entrance.

The child plays in a bone pile, simpleminded and happy. She seems oblivious to the death and decay that surround her on all sides. Once a celebrated hero, Guerilla Burialgears has found himself helpless as this idiot child when he was needed the most. The would-be ruler silently mourns for the poor child's future while he knowingly and selfishly prepares to leave her behind. As he pulls on his pack and begins searching for the road, the girl suddenly yells "SHINY!" and thrusts a pebble toward him. Guerilla reaches out to take the smooth stone and rubs it thoughtfully between his fingers while returning an empty smile. The girl quickly goes back to her bones and he takes the opportunity to leave.

This is all he knows to do. Killing her would be a service, but his swords seem too heavy for the task. Or is it his heart? He once more rubs the stone and decides this is how it must be. He simply cannot kill her. One of the greatest dwarven warriors to ever live, unable to kill a child. He would find it pathetic and laughable, were he still sane.

Alas, his very soul is broken, along with his mind. The famed dwarven warrior now finds himself too emotionally weary to do more than mindlessly pilot his body toward safer fields or a pitiful and uncelebrated death. After a bit of searching, Burialgears finds the outline of the main road and begins to follow it toward civilization. The only coherent thought he can seem to muster will ultimately become his mantra and his sole reason for continued life in the early months of his upcoming journey: "Any place is better. I must press on."

I ask that you picture this dwarven champion pausing briefly atop the last ash-encrusted ridge in the distance. In the waning light of a setting sun, he looks back upon the gaping, smoking maw of hell's door one last time. At this moment, he finally sees Boatmurdered for what it truly is; a wicked and foreboding blight upon the surrounding lands. The windswept and charred landscape robs him of any tears he might have produced. All are dead at Boatmurdered. The best dwarves he has ever known...gone. In his mind, the blood of the dozens he could not save will eternally stain his hands. In his head, he will forever hear the screams of the dead as they burned or murdered one another in the last days of the once-proud fortress.

Guerilla Burialgears absently tucks the child's rock into his pack and turns to leave for good; his head hung low. His words trail behind him as he disappears over the ridge. It is a haunting whisper, quickly stolen away by the wind: "All burn...".

And then he is gone.

High atop the cliff, a lone child waves goodbye and chases her gesture with the kind of carefree laughter only youth can enjoy. She then returns to her game with a pair of pretty stones, almost immediately forgetting about the nice dwarf in the shiny suit. This unfortunate young girl will come to be known in legend as "Dodok Sabrefrenzies, last survivor of Boatmurdered". In all cultures, both name and place will come to elicit hushed tones and ultimately grow to be synonymous with doom of the very soul, itself."

WELCOME TO FUCKING BOATMURDERED!

Last Edit: Mar 2, 2011 1:18:38 GMT -5 by Major Xeno

There is nothing wrong with Planning to Conquer the World, just in the act itself.

Know every possibility, every interaction of every chance, and predict which will work and which will not... improve your odds, stacks the cards, alter the game... become a Farseer.

Damien Novelist Natural 20, Bitch! Posts: 427	the arena Mar 2, 2011 22:59:32 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Damien on Mar 2, 2011 22:59:32 GMT -5

TEAM_DERRICK Best-selling Author DESTROYUR OF WORLDS I am become Konata, the shitter of posts. Posts: 3,935	the arena Mar 3, 2011 18:48:59 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by TEAM_DERRICK on Mar 3, 2011 18:48:59 GMT -5 Boatmurdered Best Let's Play ever
	youtu.be/J8Cx8AgW_u0

Mizagium Administrator TEH BOSS Posts: 15,416	the arena Mar 3, 2011 19:08:57 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Mizagium on Mar 3, 2011 19:08:57 GMT -5 can't find the vid
	Hon hon hon

TEAM_DERRICK Best-selling Author DESTROYUR OF WORLDS I am become Konata, the shitter of posts. Posts: 3,935	the arena Mar 3, 2011 19:14:48 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by TEAM_DERRICK on Mar 3, 2011 19:14:48 GMT -5 It's not a vid. It's text. lparchive.org/Dwarf-Fortress-Boatmurdered/Introduction/ Don't just assume that it sucks just because it's all text. Oh boy.
	youtu.be/J8Cx8AgW_u0

TEAM_DERRICK Best-selling Author DESTROYUR OF WORLDS I am become Konata, the shitter of posts. Posts: 3,935	the arena Mar 3, 2011 19:15:05 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by TEAM_DERRICK on Mar 3, 2011 19:15:05 GMT -5 They're's pictures too!
	youtu.be/J8Cx8AgW_u0

Mizagium Administrator TEH BOSS Posts: 15,416	the arena Mar 3, 2011 19:56:27 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Mizagium on Mar 3, 2011 19:56:27 GMT -5 boatmurdered is fucking great. It was eh until StarkRavingMad took over.
	Hon hon hon