Awesome Land 3: Trial of the Wind Sage [Archive]

[Mizagium]

Awesome Land 3:
Trial of the Wind Sage
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The Orb of Wind...One of the last treasures left since that ancient battle so many centuries ago...The Spirit Lord, that cruel son of a mother, placed a curse upon the domain of the Sea Queen, the Land Emperor, and the Sky King. Sea creatures, bird people, and eternal despair he thrust upon us...That is the tale the legends tell us. Those times ended long ago, yet here he is. That once proud man now descended into insanity setting foot upon my land. It seems those times have come again. If nothing is done, then the lands of Sky, Sea, and Earth will fall. The universe will perish and be reformed into the image of the Spirit Lord, leaving all to disappear into the shadows...
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(Feel free to ignore the introduction. One of the problems with Awesome Land 2 was the lack of a single plot. The current plot shall revolve around Super Land for the time being, with various side plots to lighten the story made by you all. I think that's fair enough.)

Raphael turned from his secret palace and went to the Wind Orb, securely placed upon his brown table. He looked through it and saw that the intruders (Leon and co.) were still falling and the remnants of his soldiers were still trying to arrest him. "May the Great One give them strength."

"Hey, if I agree to go peacefully with you guys can we stop falling?" asked Leon, growing tired of what seemed like weeks of falling through Super Land's atmosphere.

"You will be free if you surrender peacefully. Super Land does not wish to fight." said the troops in unison. The leader, with really sharp claws, said nothing, merely staring at everyone.

"Fine. I'll leave peacefully. Feel free to join me you guys!" Leon yelled as one of the troops escorted him to the ground of Super Land. As physics defying as the fact that land was suspended in the air, the first thing Leon noticed was the fact that all of the citizens looked very avian-like.

"Welcome to Super Land. I shall speak with Lord Raphael to ask what we should do with you. He is a man of honor, virtue, and justice, so he won't be too hard on you. In the meantime your friends shall be dealt with above, and you'll be allowed to wander freely. Any questions?" said the soldier with a smile. It was obvious he had said those words before.

"Everyone here a bird?" Leon asked tactfully while scratching his head. He sheathed his staff and sword and waited for a response.

Without so much as a change in facial expression, the soldier said "Hahaha. I see you've noticed. It has to do with a curse placed here ages ago. If you are truly interested, you should visit the local library." the soldier said, pointing toward an enormous edifice with a large winged shield on the front.

"Sure thing. Knowledge is one of my favorite things..." Leon said. True as the statement may have been, he was referring to a different type of book knowledge-the art of Dark Magic. "Any magic spells in that library of yours?" Leon asked with more tact than before.

"Hmm?" said the soldier. It was a question that the answer had not been programmed into his head for. "Hmm...Ah, yes. There are probably basic wind spells in the Super Land Legendary Library. All of the good ones are hidden in the palace." he answered, pointing toward the ridiculously sized white building where Raphael was seated.

"Thanks a bunch. I'll be in the library when you've finished getting my punishment." said Leon, who had forgotten almost all except dark magic when he changed from Veralice to Leon. Hystoger had given him his powers and he had not gained them back yet. After bowing to the soldier, Leon politely walked off to the Legendary Library, named after ancient legends passed down from generation there.

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Shtoople once again began to read from his diabolical book of syntax errors.
"Mii padors were arenot supportatataive. Theis thruu me oot at the stet when i was olny slven anos young!"
With that, more zombies popped out of the ground!
"BRAINS!"
"TAX CUTS!"
"RON PAUL!!!" said the horrible, life less, conservative beings.

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Derrick blew up Jupiter. Actually, he just threw a lit cigar at it. Jupiter's gaseous atmosphere did the rest.
"Awesome!" said Derrick as he laid his glance upon awesome land.

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Bill Nye got on his Super-mega fone of Science and announced to all of Awesome Land: "Here me, here me! I am the great and powerful Oz - er I mean Bill Nye the Science Guy!" Severla heads asploaded.

"I have hidden seven scrolls of Science across the Lands. Who ever brings me all Seven Scrolls, I will teach my ways of Science! That is all!"

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Derrick also made an announcement, "Due to Nye making a decree about the seven dragon ba- i mean chaos emerald- dammit, i mean scrolls; I shall grant the Blessing of The Boom-Stick to anyone who can give these scrolls to me. I could do it myself, but i am just lazy."

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"You're a jerk. you know that!" Bill said to Team Derrick.

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As Seth walked around the plains of Awesome Land on his quest, he looked up into the sky as he heard an announcement from the renowned Bill Nye the Science Guy. Immune to the head exploding powers of science, Seth looked in front of him and produced a leather notebook.

"Hmph. You mean there's actually science in this place? We have tapes of that guy on Earth- I wonder how he got here...Whatever. If he's hidden some scrolls here about science, perhaps I should find them. More knowledge equals more physics, which shares an inverse relationship with the balance of this disgusting world. The higher the physics, the less of Awesome Land there shall be.

"Molecular Heating and Molecular Forging Formulas, activate!" Seth yelled. The Scarlet Theta began to glow as it fired a beam of infrared light at a nearby piece of metal, one of the remains of the thrice destroyed tower of Veralice. It began to melt as it twisted into the form of a motorcycle.

"Good. Molecular Duplication Formula, activate!" yelled Seth, touching his cloak with a drop of blue potion. Another leather cloak was formed. He cut it into leather grips for the handles of his bike as well as the tires. Taking out some black dye, he painted the motorcycle until it was as awesomely black.

"Now to ride in style." Seth laughed. He placed a drop of a red potion in the engine, the very same one he used to slaughter babies. It reacted with the air to form a never ending source of fuel for the motorcycle. He hopped on and rode off to find the first scroll.

[Mizagium]

Shtoople's army of zombies continued their march of conservatism, until they reached the Hills of Absolutely No Purpose In The Category of Plot Development.
"Eye hadz my fist sequl experiance ap da sage off thres. I goot in a car nonpurpose, adn unmost died, but a seckyz nurce nussered me back to heathe."
More undead arose from their long forgotten graves.

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Epic Fail Guy was walking along, minding his own business, when suddenly his finger fell off. "AAAGGGHHH!," he screamed, "Who is responsible for this?" Everyone around him shrugged. "If someone doesn't speak up now, then you will all pay!" Everyone just walked away.
EFG used a portal gun and some wikipedia math to open up a time portal. "Okay. Since no one will speak up, I will go into the past and shoot the person who caused this!" EFG saw the figure with the gun through the portal. He aimed...... BAM!!!!
The EFG from the past suddenly fell to the ground. "AAAGGGHHH!," he screamed, "Who is responsible for this?" Everyone around him shrugged.

(thats how you use EFG)

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Derrick got tired of waiting, so he created his own stereotypical septuplian objects of power. He called them the Chaos Dragon Scrolls. "Take that Bill!" said Derrick as he blew up Neptune.

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"Hahaha, those are fake you nub. Did you think I was that stupid?"

Bill Nye was warching Derrick through his Telescope of Science!

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"Silence!" shouted Derrick as he summoned a tsunami made of cats and sent it towards the tower of science.

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" O RLY?"

Bill NYe fired his Dog-ray of Science at Derricks cat-tsumani.

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Derrick sent his army of radioactive super fish at Bill Nye.

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Bill Nye decided to ignore physics and moved whatever Team Derrick shot at him to Super Land.

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Derrick decided to make the world flat. Then he took the planet and folded it so that Super Land Was next to awesome land.
Then he threw a rock at Bill Nye.

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Bill Nye used Gravity to make the rock go back to Derrick, then he ate a Taco.

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Derrick deflected the rock. The rock flew so fast it went out of orbit and did this to some distant planet.

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Then Ridley showed up and Shoop da wooped at Derrick.

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Leon was at the Legendary Library when Super Land decided to mysteriously move toward Awesome Land. "Hmm. What a strange phenomenon." Leon said, looking for a spell book. "Ah, here we are. Beginning Wind Spells. A bit dusty, but it shall suffice." Leon said, removing the book from its shelf and reading from it. ~So, all spells are governed by four orbs? Perhaps that is why I was drawn here...To get the orb. In the meantime...~ Leon thought to himself. "Dranoto Minimal!~ Leon yelled. A small vortex of wind appeared in front of him and began to twirl. Super Land rose back into the air without so much as a warning. As Leon kept reading, random stuff was happening on Awesome Land.
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Hmm? A science battle? thought Seth, his motorcycle stopping next to where Derrick and Bill Nye were fighting. When he saw a giant dragon appear from the sky, he then thought No...An anti-physics battle.

"Not you too, Bill." mumbled Seth under his breath. Seth opened his notebook and took some ingredients from his cloak. "Potassium Nitrate...Glucose...Red Dye." He added the ingredients to a vial and heated it with the theta symbol on his book. He took a silver lighter, emblazoned with an alpha symbol, and lit the mixture. Dropping the vial on the ground it released a ton of smoke and red flame, which Seth walked through toward the battlers. His cloak was flame proof, which really came in handy.

"Ha. Like my introduction potion?" laughed Seth. "You really disappoint me Bill. I thought you of all people would use science rather than desecrate the sanctity of physics. But perhaps you can be redeemed...You, however!" he pointed to Derrick. "There is no hope for you. I'll take you down!"

"Sodium Hydroxide, Blue Dye." Seth mixed the two and carved a nearby twig into a wooden blade. He poured the powder over the sword and lit it on fire, creating a blue flaming sword. "This sword will eventually turn into ash, but when it does the poisonous NaOH will go into your blood and kill you. Let's fight." finished Seth, and he dashed toward the defiler of science.

[Mizagium]

then, for no reason, Cassandra Buresque shot Seth with an arrow.

"You look like you know here the Scrolls are," she falsely observed.

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I wish...I'd have so much power with those... thought Seth, but he decided to keep this to himself and said "Yea. I found them and hid all seven in that cave over there." He pointed to a dark cave that was filled with a poisonous gas. It was home to various large insects, sealed there in times past.

Removing the arrow from him, he coated it with the same powder, lit it on fire with his Alpha Lighter, and calculated where he would have to throw it from to hit Cassandra. "Perfect." Seth said, throwing the arrow, causing it to fly directly toward Cassandra's chest.