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Post by Mizagium on Mar 5, 2011 14:20:19 GMT -5
Johnny appeared out of nowhere and blocked the arrow with the False Shield.
"Hey Cassandra. What are you doing here?"
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Post by Mizagium on Mar 5, 2011 14:20:31 GMT -5
Derrick got bored so he typed in a cheat code:
JUSTIN BAILEY
---------- -----------
Suddenly, Derrick had a shot gun loaded with killer bees, Ebola, and microscopic Nam vets.
Derrick put on a pair of headphones and listened to classic 1980's hair metal as he blasted walls of carnage from his SHAT GAN.
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Post by Mizagium on Mar 5, 2011 14:20:50 GMT -5
"Appearing out of nowhere...With such strangeness going on how can I win? But I won't give up."
Meanwhile, at Dark Hole Headquarters, previously unvisited since AL2...
_______________________________________________________
All of Michael's characters mysteriously disappeared, so...
"What the heck? Where did they go? Nublets, trying to run away. Whatever. WALTER! YOU CAN COME DOWN! THEY LEFT!" yelled Taenas. Walter came down from the Final Floor and said "Hmph...Well, with no more threats to my rule, I'm quite bored."
"Shall we go flying, then?" said Taenas, really angry that his challenger had gone. He mounted his dragon and flew off, Walter behind him. In moments they were above Bill Nye and co.
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Post by Mizagium on Mar 5, 2011 14:21:05 GMT -5
Suddenly a young man ran into the library, bumping into Leon.
"oops, sorry mister. I didn't see you there." he said, somewhat flusterd.
"Would you happen to know where Kemmler's Theory on Rice Crispy Cereal might be?"
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Post by Mizagium on Mar 5, 2011 14:21:18 GMT -5
Sarah joined Johnny, holding the True Sword and Beauty Mirror.
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Post by Mizagium on Mar 5, 2011 14:21:31 GMT -5
Derrick's play list was over. He opened his eyes and saw nothing but a cloud of smoke. "Awesome," he said as he turned his glance towards a moaning crowd of zombies.
Derrick switched over to his "Death Metal, but no emo crap" play list.
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Post by Mizagium on Mar 5, 2011 14:21:47 GMT -5
The skies darkened over Awesome Land. Clouds began gathering in the sky, eventually swirling over one point, the geographic center of Awesome Land. These swirling clouds covered all of the continent. Suddenly, Muse's "Knights of Cydonia" began playing. All could hear the mighty chords of the song, and all began to tremble. As the song progressed, the clouds began to part. Like the eye of a hurricane, a hole opened at the focal point of the swirling clouds. Women and children screamed. From this hole, something descended. Accelerating at an incredible speed, the object was wreathed by flame. The heavens themselves had opened up to deliver this falling star to AwesomeLand. Finally it hit the ground, and a cloud of dust arose from the impact. As the cloud cleared, a crater was revealed. From this crater, a figure's silhouette emerged. Upon this figure's head was a viking helmit. The cloud completely cleared to reveal a large, terrifying Nordic man of incalculable age. The viking reached behind his head and grasped his battleaxe. This was no ordinary battleaxe. It was a string instrument. The nord played his axe with the final chords of Knights of Cydonia.
This is Dolf Holhagen, Destroyer of Worlds and Giver of Battleaxe Lessons. His wrath is inescapable, his rage insatiable, his beard unshaveable. Commence pants wetting.
Dolf checked under him and noticed that he landed on Captain Clever. Oh well. Dolf blinked and a rainbow appeared, with a motorcycle already waiting for him on it. He mounted the motorcycle and rode over Awesome Land on his rainbow of infinite wonders.
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Post by Mizagium on Mar 5, 2011 14:22:09 GMT -5
Narrator jetpacked his way up to Super Land and landed next to Leon.
"I'll just let you do yo' thang, Very Ice."
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Post by Mizagium on Mar 5, 2011 14:22:38 GMT -5
Derrick finished annihilating the zombie horde. He turned his attention towards this Norseman.
"Hey! This universe has room for just one destroyer of worlds!" said Derrick.
Derrick tried a new cheat code:
up, down, right, right, A, B, L, R, start.
Derrick was suddenly covered from head to toe in golden armor. He was also armed with a chain-gun that fired miniature Rastafarians. Derrick switched over to his Weird Al playlist.
"Now you can say 'GO TEAM DERRICK'!" said Derrick as he started firing mini Jamaicans at the Viking. "EAT IT BEOWULF! SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTTTTAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
EFG tried to eat his delicious taco. "This is delicious," said EFG, "I didn't know that you could buy tacos at a Vietnamese restaurant! The only thing thats wrong with this taco is that it tastes nothing like beef."
EFG then went out to search for his missing cat.
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Post by Mizagium on Mar 5, 2011 14:22:49 GMT -5
PFG came by and molested Narrator, then left
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Post by Mizagium on Mar 5, 2011 14:23:01 GMT -5
Narrator retaliated with severe buttsecks that undid reality itself. It never happened.
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Post by Mizagium on Mar 5, 2011 14:23:13 GMT -5
Dolf Holhagen joined the physics battle with gusto. In response the the woop shooping and Jaimacan firing by jumping off his motorcycle. He then proceeded to weild his battleaxe in a manly fashion. Exciting looking finger puppets burst from the ground and countered whatever that stuff you attacked Dolf with. Win.
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Post by Mizagium on Mar 5, 2011 14:23:42 GMT -5
Derrick reached into his pocket and took out a finger puppet's only enemy; a rag-doll.
"Attack Sherman!" said Derrick as he unleashed the red haired monstrosity.
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Post by Mizagium on Mar 5, 2011 14:23:55 GMT -5
Leon ignored Narrator and his failure to comprehend proper addressing skills and turned upon the mysterious figure who questioned him about Rice Krispies. "Why would you need to know about that delicious marshmallow snack? It's not that powerful. If it were, though, it wouldn't be in this library. It is devoted solely to beginner wind magic."
Leon turned back toward his book and read more about magic. Without realizing it, he subconsciously began to read about the history of the Wind Orb.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Meanwhile, back on Awesome Land...
"Such...disregard...for physics." Seth said as he watched the epic battle ensue. I can't allow this to continue...But they have such power...Such sheer lack of being bound by the laws that govern my world, Earth. But what if...? Seth looked toward Ridley, a once corrupted dragon who had been restored to his former self.
Seth sped off on his motorcycle to a far off spot. He took out a knife, and slowly but surely began to dig up the ear. "If this is anything like Earth, then at least some source of metal has to be here. I'll never find it in time to beat those freaks, this way." Seth said impatiently. "Drastic times call for drastic measures. Scorched Earth Policy Mixture!" Seth said. He pulled out a small mass of red silly putty like substance and lit it on fire, setting it on the ground.
"Hope this works." Seth said to himself, speeding away on his motorcycle. Within seconds the putty like substance exploded, creating large fissures in the ground and setting the earth ablaze for a few seconds. The flames disappeared quickly, leaving only blackened ground.
"I've never seen it do that, before. The only explanation would be that sunlight is reflecting off of underground metal, hitting the light absorbent putty and heating it to extreme temperatures. If this is the case..." Seth said, running back toward the ground. As soon as he stepped on it, he fell through several hundred feet. "Stay calm, Seth. Stay calm." he told himself, landing on his feet.
"Wha-What? It's...It's amazing!" Seth exclaimed. He touched a piece of a mysterious glowing metal. Despite the dullness of the piece, his skin was cut like butter. Performing several tests on the metal, he made several conclusions. "It's sharp..." he pointed to his skin, bleeding tremendously. "The mineral seems to prevent healing..." he said, trying to stop the wound. He duplicated his cloak again, wrapping his arm with a piece of leather. "It's blindingly reflective, it conducts electricity, it responds to radio waves well...And although I hate the word, it almost seems...'magical'." Seth concluded.
"Now, if those properties are true, this metal is almost perfect. It just needs malleability." Putting on gloves to protect his hands, he used his book to write down everything about the metal he could and heated it. Taking out a small hammer, he easily shaped the metal into a helmet type object. "Absorbs the elements, easy to form, very responsive. Perfect. All powerful. I'll call it Omnilium." said Seth, and he began building a machine out of the new metal.
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Post by Mizagium on Mar 5, 2011 14:24:14 GMT -5
"Done." said Seth. He had used the metal to develop several objects; the only one that could definitely be recognized was a small pen shaped laser object. "This metal has absorbed enough heat and electricity, so I should have no trouble defeating those who defy physics. Now, I just have to get out of this pit." Seth realized. He took his stirring rod and pen and stabbed them into the walls of the cavern, climbing out slowly. When he got back to ground level he got on his motorcycle and flew to the battlefield.
Arriving in minutes, Seth fired an electric laser at Ridley, stunning him. Dodging the lasers of Ridley's siblings, Seth grabbed the objects off of his motorcycle and started reconstructing Ridley. "Ha ha ha. This should go here...That should go there." Seth covered the poor dragon in the Omnilium armor; those were the mysterious objects he had. Ridley's entire body was covered in Omnilium, the only orifices left were for his eyes, which were glowing with rage. Ridley tried attacking Seth, who merely said "Responsive to radio waves." and used a frequency jammer to mess with Ridley's head. "You are under my control. Do as I say or you'll suffer." Ridley merely complied, sending brain waves to the frequency jammer. Seth translated the waves and read "Ridley". "So your name is Ridley...I'll call you Metallo Ridley. As your first order of business...Kill those fools!" Seth commanded.
Surely enough Metallo Ridley followed orders. With sharp, 6 inch knife like claws, a sharp lance like beak, glowing red eyes and deadly wings, Metallo Ridley swooped down toward Sarah, Johnny, and Cassandra, all of whom seemed bored. Covered in silver armor, there was a small emblem shaped like a theta that fired a beam of electrons toward them.
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Post by Mizagium on Mar 5, 2011 14:24:28 GMT -5
"What the hell is that?" Johnny exclaimed pointing at Metallo Ridley.
"It would appear that one of the authors of this story is lazy and can't think of a better villain than Ridley." Cassandra observed.
'Oh weel, lets kill it!" Johnny rushed atit, brandising the Ugly Stick. Srah followed suit witht the True Sword and Cassandra unleashed a hail of arrows.
The Ridley siblings (yes, their last name is Ridley. Like the Mario Bros.) also descened upon this new foe.
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Post by Mizagium on Mar 5, 2011 14:24:42 GMT -5
Metallo Ridley rose into the air and began to charge his natural shoop da woop powers, fusing them with the electricity in his Theta emblem. "Ridley, fire your laser!" Seth commanded. Ridley fired a white beam of electro-lasers toward everyone on the field, including Seth. "Watch where you're aiming, slave!" Seth yelled. He used his Omnilium pen's reflective properties to reflect it toward Taco Bell.
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Post by Mizagium on Mar 5, 2011 14:25:20 GMT -5
Dolf looked upward at the unoriginal villain. Since electrons are neither particles nor waves (I WROTE A PAPER ON THAT VERY TRUTH I MADE UP) they had no effect of Dolf, who was preparing a counterattack. A sudden, lighting fast rendition of Sharp Dressed Man by ZZ Top brought the flying, metal coated reptile to its knees, although it was still in the air. Take it.
The ragdoll caught on fire due to not being awesome enough to stand up to Dolf Holhagen.
Taco Bell was saved by a convenient stampede of water buffalo absorbing the laser.
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Post by Mizagium on Mar 5, 2011 14:25:34 GMT -5
Myrxxan frowned at Leon. "Please, I mastered those spells ages ago! And I don't mean those pathetic rice crispy treats, I mean rice crispy CEREAL! It is said to contain all universal knowlege of all things magic and arcane!" the boy said, waving his arms dramatically.
"Though, the librarian DID mention seeing an odd white-haired man in a black cloak reading it some time back." he said, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.
~~~~~
Elsewhere, Zais got the sudden urge to laugh maniaclly.
~~~~~
Myrxxan looked Leon over with curiosity. "Are you new to Super Land?"
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Post by Mizagium on Mar 5, 2011 14:25:54 GMT -5
"Technically." Leon said, finishing an ancient textbook of the history of the world. "But it seems like I've been here before..." Leon replied to the dramatic person, whose arms were flailing uncontrollably.
Suddenly a trumpet sounded off, and the heavily armed soldier who 'arrested' Leon came into the library. "Attention, newcomer! Lord Raphael has decided your punishment. Accompany us immediately."
"Sure thing." said Leon, not in the mood for fighting. He accompanied the soldier to the palace of the Wind Sage, walking upon beautiful white clouds.
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