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Post by Myrdraxxis on Jun 3, 2013 16:11:43 GMT -5
Magnus poked his head out of the magical bunker where he had been staying up until now. "Be sure to tell me when it's my fight guys. I'm gonna be here chilling." he said and then promptly disappeared back into the interdimensional safehouse, seeing that nothing of real significance was happening.
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Post by Mizagium on Jun 3, 2013 20:55:34 GMT -5
Zelmon looked from the fight to Lady Hioma, uncertainly. "Milady, isn't there something we can do? Are we not guardians of Love? Shouldn't we...do something about this...wedding ring quest?"
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Post by Razgat on Jun 3, 2013 21:47:29 GMT -5
"My hugs!" Random Girl made an extremely sad face as she was tossed away. "I thought we were on a date!...Or were we?....Where am I?"
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Post by Monika on Jun 3, 2013 22:00:21 GMT -5
"Sometimes the best course of action is to take no action at all," Hioma replied. "We could try to take the rings by force, of course, but Leon is a very dangerous sorcerer." She wrote a brief passage in her Notebook of Fate! and a large tome entitled "Awesome Land!: An Interactive Story" fell from the sky into Zelmon's lap. "Read the first few pages of that and you'll see what I mean. It would be better for everyone involved to just avoid causing any more trouble than has already been caused, and do what we can to ensure a member of our party wins the tournament..." Hioma observed the battle, if it could even be called that anymore, and sighed. "With that said, I hope that the Illusive Squid finishes this quickly. Now that he's revealed himself to be Cale, I'm more-or-less confident that he's on our side." She wrote something else in her Notebook and a new book entitled "Awesome Land!: A Rebooted Story" fell onto the other "Awesome Land" book in Zelmon's lap. "If he wins, then I think we will have guaranteed that someone in our group gets those rings."
"I just hope someone wins these rings!" Leon shouted, closing his book, weary of the battle and thoroughly annoyed that another arena was coming out of his paycheck. "I anticipated an epic battle and got one...for all of two seconds. The rest of this has been mindless back and forth with no end in sight!" Shaking his head, Leon snapped his fingers and he, the combatants, and all the audience members were warped to the next arena. But this was not an arena for battle. No, this was an arena for...
"It's Awesome Quiz Time with your host, Leon Veralice!" Leon, now sharply dressed in a three piece suit and tie, walked out onto a stage. Spotlights shone brightly everywhere as audience members fell into a series of comfortable seats facing the stage. As they murmured their confusion, a massive neon sign that read "APPLAUSE!" in flashing lights materialized in front of them, forcing a few half-hearted claps from some of the more willing members. A loud whirring noise sounded as two podiums rose from slots in the stage floor. Behind either one was the Illusive Squid or Random Girl.
Flashing his most dazzling smile, Leon walked up to the two podiums and whispered "I'm getting real tired of this battle, contestants, so we're finishing it NOW. Trivia-style. If you have any objections, I'll have other-you killed in Awesome Land..." he nodded toward the Illusive Squid. "...and I'll have one of my sister's doctors fix your short term memory problems, ruining your career forever!" He motioned toward Random Girl. Then, pretending as if nothing had happened, he casually strode toward the front of the stage, still smiling. He pulled a Shadow Microphone from a side pocket of his suit jacket and spoke. "I hope you're all as excited about Awesome Quiz Time as I am, folks! I'm sure you all know the rules by now-
"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?" an audience member interrupted. "THIS IS THE FIRST TIME YOU-
An enormous, silvery, slimy tentacle ascended from below the seats, pulling that audience member underground to his doom.
"As I was saying, I'm sure you all know the rules by now, but in case you don't-" An overly large scoreboard, such as the one you might see at a basketball game, appeared at the back of the stage. On the left side was written 'The Illusive Squid' while on the right was written 'Random Girl'. "-I'll explain them. Our contestants will be asked a total of five questions. Each time one of them answers a question correctly, he or she will get a point." A loud DING! sounded from the scoreboard, and the number 1 appeared on both sides of the scoreboard, under the contestants' names. "After the five questions have been asked, whoever has the majority of the points - at least 3 - will be declared the winner of this round of the tournament."
He walked up to the podiums and took an index card from his front pocket, prepared to read the first question. Then, to cover his bases, he added "And, in the event neither contestant gets enough points to win, there won't be a tie." He laughed. "Oh, no. If that happens, I'm banishing both of them to a dimension filled with vicious dragons, and I'll declare myself the winner of Round Five. Fair enough?" He didn't wait for a response. "Of course it is. Now, Question 1! Oh, no, these questions are far too simple." The index card from which he was reading disappeared, and another one appeared in its place. "Much better. Question 1: What is the name of my weapon? You've got 60 seconds." Leon's weapon of choice, an enormous bladed staff, manifested in his right hand.
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Post by Razgat on Jun 3, 2013 22:51:20 GMT -5
"OH! OH! OH! OH! ME! ME! PICK MEEEEEEEEEE! Oh, wait I can just say it, can't I?" Random Girl stared blankly for a minute as she though. "I forgot."
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Post by Monika on Jun 3, 2013 23:01:36 GMT -5
"I'm sorry, Random Girl, but that is incorrect." Leon frowned, doing his best to appear at least remotely sympathetic for the cameras. The neon sign that read "APPLAUSE!" was replaced by one that read "Aww...". Sure enough, after a few nods from Leon (and the threat of some tentacled beast below them), some audience members gave the saddest, most disheartened "Awwwwww...." they could.
"It's a shame this setup couldn't be saved for my next round," Hioma mused. "I've read Awesome Land! cover to cover several times. Not a lot of romance, unfortunately."
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Post by Calefrun on Jun 4, 2013 3:56:37 GMT -5
"Hystoger, of course" Cetis answered, rousing from the apparent trance he had been in for several hours minutes. He could remember easily, as he had been living under Leon's rule only four years ago.
Also, when the arena changed Cetis regained his shirt and suit jacket.
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Post by Monika on Jun 5, 2013 16:01:50 GMT -5
"I'm sorry, Caleusive Squid. That is...incorrect," Leon replied, his eyes betraying the sense of shock he felt. "I must say I'm surprised that you came that close to the actual answer." He wiped a fake tear from his eye, almost touched that someone remembered him from his old Emperor days. "Unfortunately, Hystoger is my old weapon. Got rid of that when I was dethr - er - when I decided to give up my imperial position to become a traveling adventurer. My new weapon," Leon pointed at his staff-sword, "is called Luxumbra. Good guess, though. What do you say, folks? Should I give him a point anyway?" He motioned toward the audience, many of whom were now uproarious, chanting things like "GIVE HIM THE POINT!" or "THIS SHOW SUCKS!" The latter portion of the audience met a tentacle-y demise, much like the interrupter before them.
"Well, he didn't get the question right," Hioma began, "But I really want him to win. For the sake of this long-delayed wedding. Soooo...Give him the point! Go Cale, go!" She used the Pen of Love! and Notebook of Fate! to write a pair of pompoms into existence for both herself and Zelmon. "Come on, Zelmon. Cheer for him!"
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Post by Calefrun on Jun 5, 2013 19:24:18 GMT -5
Cetis shrugged. Nobody really knew much about what became of Leon after he... resigned. In fact, it wasn't until some time after that the Squid had learned that the emperor-turned-adventurer was even still alive.
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Post by Mizagium on Jun 6, 2013 13:40:43 GMT -5
Zelmon also somehow materialized pom poms. He hopped up, causing both Awesome tomes to fall to the floor with a loud THUD each.
"Yes!" He did his best to imitate Hioma. "Go, Cale, go!"
Jeff and Xeltyr stared at him. Hard.
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Post by Monika on Jun 6, 2013 23:58:19 GMT -5
"Well," Leon smiled, "since the audience demands it so much, I suppose I can give our cephalopod comrade half a point!" Leon pointed at the giant neon sign in front of the audience, forcing it to read "APPLAUSE!" once more. After a few rounds of surprisingly enthusiastic clapping, the audience fell silent as their beloved host prepared to read the next question. "Question 2!" Leon shouted, pulling another index card from his pocket. "Ah, this should be simple enough. My younger sister, Aurora Veralice, has twenty apples. Half of them are sent to the Cardinalos. Half of those apples are then banished to Null-Void. How many apples do I have in my pocket?"
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Post by Razgat on Jun 7, 2013 0:36:09 GMT -5
Random Girl stared hard at her podium. She couldn't really think about it, so she just waited for a number to pop into her head. "Five? I'm going to go with that number. That's a nice looking number."
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Post by Calefrun on Jun 7, 2013 2:25:34 GMT -5
Cetis thought for several minutes before replying. "I'm going to go with... more than -1, but less than an infinite number." Leon never asked for a specific number.
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Post by Monika on Jun 7, 2013 17:58:51 GMT -5
"Oh, so close, both of you," Leon replied, his voice dripping with mock sympathy. "But you're incorrect. The actual answer is indeed infinity." After looking at the crowd, all of whom had perplexed expressions on their faces (except Hioma, of course), he decided to explain. "You see, I am a dimensional sorcerer," he began. "A sorcerer who manipulates dimensions. It follows that I would use these powers to make my life as convenient as possible. So, I have lined my pockets with interdimensional vortexes!" Leon opened one of his pants pockets as wide as he could and motioned for a camera to point toward it. The scoreboard was replaced with a clear view of what Leon had in his pants (interpret that sentence properly, please). Sure enough, there was a dark, swirling portal of magical energy visible on screen.
"From this portal, I can access every conceivable object in every conceivable location in every dimension. Assuming there are an infinite number of alternate dimensions - and there are, as proven by this book - " He pulled a hefty manuscript from his pocket and aimed it toward the camera. It read 'Advanced Portal Formation and Analysis by Artemis. Co-authored by William Cauldwell and Illustrated by Soh Cah Toa'. "-I have an infinite number of everything in my pockets. Fascinating book, by the way," he added, in what was totally not a gross display of product placement. "I've left you all a copy under your seats!"
A few mildly enthused cheers came from the audience.
"Anyway, since neither of you gave me the correct answer, I'm afraid I can't give you any points. But, there are still three more questions left, so there's still a chance to win! Question 3!" Another index card flew from his pocket into his hand. "Ooh, good one. How old is Perish, the necromancer?" A spotlight shone on Perish, who seemed to have recovered her normal demeanor. Her visage appeared on the screen behind Leon. "And give me her true age, please. Not how old she looks. The age that would appear on her driver's license, if she had one." He paused for a second, thinking. Does anyone here have a driver's license? Do people here even drive? How many cars have I seen?
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Post by blazinvire on Jun 7, 2013 18:21:30 GMT -5
Perish had been content to zone out after awhile, way beyond understanding any of these questions and who any of these people were, and she'd even forgotten why they were here, to say nothing of where they were supposed to be.
So she'd forgotten everything except that she was supposed to be somewhere else doing something else that she'd also forgotten about, which meant everything right now had absolutely no meaning to her.
But then of course a spotlight snapped onto her, causing her to jump as attention was brought to her.
"Wait, what?" Perish said in surprise, blinking a few times as she came to and looked around in confusion, finding the audience smaller and herself like in a giant mirror on the stage, "...I swear to god I didn't eat anyone -it's annoying dealing with the consequences, honest!"
Though it was about then her memory caught up and vaguely recalled the question about her age and something called a driver's license, but she was quickly distracted by wondering just how old she was -it was hard to tell, given the amount of times she'd been killed or buried or burnt from existence, staked and set on fire, hung and impaled and dismembered. To her, time was a triviality that she had in excess, as she could wait people out until they died of old age if necessary, or zone out in times like these if she were imprisoned and have time seem to go much faster.
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Post by Mizagium on Jun 7, 2013 18:28:51 GMT -5
"Boo!" Xeltyr called from the audience, shielding himself with a pair of audience members to escape Leon's wrath. "Ask a fair question!" He made sure he was completely unseen behind the two.
Jeff snorted, then turned to Perish. "Does he actually know, Perish? Like, did he ask and you tell him?" It seemed much more likely that Leon was simply putting up difficult questions to move things along.
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Post by Sariel of Tevet on Jun 7, 2013 18:50:00 GMT -5
"Hmmmm." The Dayman began to stroke his codpiece like a beard, as royalty tend to do when they ponder things. He gargoyled on the bleacher step bellow Perish and stared into her eyes, still stroking his codpiece and thinking deeply.
There must be some way to figure out how old this frightening creature is. But I doubt she had a license when she tried to run Magnus over...not much of what we did in Southyros was legal...
His thoughts trailed off and a royal lightbulb sprung to life inside his upperclass mind. He sprang to his feet, just managing to lightly scrape Perish's nose with his codpiece, how lucky she is. Her nose had been graced by royalty. The only reason she did not explode at that moment must have been because of the Fabio Ridley DNA coursing through her necrotic body. He thrust a royal finger into the air, as he is accustomed to doing, and turned to face the stadium, now placing his tightly clinched and royal buttox in the face of the necromancer.
"Leon! I have the solution!"
He reached into his infinity belt and pulled out a small, human skin bound book stitched together with bits of twine and inked in blood. The cover had a title embroidered at the top in human teeth that sparkled like diamonds, no doubt the magnificent teeth of the late Chip Skylark, but I digress. The title read "Necromancy High". It appeared to be Perish's highschool yearbook. The Dayman took a glorious royal hand and began to flip through the pages. The greatest minds of necromancy were all there, emblazoned in blood (although you could tell it lacked a bit of iron, the poor patron must have been anemic). Beneath each name was a series of embarrassing childhood photos, naked baby pictures, clubs and achievements, and of course the formal photo for the occasion of graduation. He found Perish and began to chuckle to himself.
"Look everyone! I found Perish!! And she had braces!!" He held the book up for the audience to see before he brought it back to his own personal gaze. "And you went to prom with that oaf? Look at that poofy dress! Perish I had no idea that you liked coral. It almost makes your dead skin a good complexion! I approve. Let's see....chess club...necro-beta club...necrophagic cooking class...ah ha! Birthday. You are an Aries...that...that makes a bit of sense." He backed away slowly at that last remark...fearing her short tempered that he pointed out...and passed the yearbook throughout the audience to allow them a quick chuckle, and then he collected it and tossed it into the arena for Leon.
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Post by blazinvire on Jun 7, 2013 19:05:00 GMT -5
Perish was first going to give Jeff a cynical and slightly incredulous glare to answer his question, but her day drastically got worse as the Dayman stepped in front of her. And she sat there a little paralyzed, hoping that if she ignored him hard enough he might actually go away.
Ignoring... Ignoring... Ignoring the ridiculous codpiece... Ignore... he had photos... what...?
Her ignorance mantra had to shatter and she stared at the Dayman, looking more and more lost and disbelieving with each syllable that left his mouth.
"...What..." Perish began, summarizing her supreme confusion in one word, "...They didn't even have the ability to take pictures back then... I lived on a farm my whole 'living' life! what is this I don't even... what is a 'prom'? What is..."
The utterly lost necromancer just trailed off hopelessly and put her face in her hands in resignation, tilting up for a moment from behind her hands and her expression had been replaced with murderous intent.
"Instant Headache Medicine: Murder the Dayman..." Perish said suddenly, her hands parting, pouring black smoke and creating a devilishly cruel ritual knife with which she advanced on the Dayman, quite ready to plunge it into his back.
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Post by Calefrun on Jun 7, 2013 19:15:48 GMT -5
Cetis thought for several minutes about this question, and while doing so he pulled on his tentacles as though he were attempting to milk them. Occasionally he would look towards Perish, and stare at her with that unchanging happy face. Finally he answered, "Same answer as last time. Except make the last part 'less than or equal to infinity.' I hate math." He looked at Perish again and said, "I swear, if you're negative one years old, we're not best friends anymore."
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Post by Sariel of Tevet on Jun 7, 2013 19:46:03 GMT -5
The Dayman's royal backstabbing senses went off (this is something you must have when you are royalty, someone is always out to take your place you see), and he immediately turned and opened his infinity belt and pushed Perish's blade, and consequently her arm from her momentum, into the blinding endless chasm, and held on to her shoulders before she fell head first into his belt to be distributed who knows where. He had sent a gerbil into his belt once...they never did find it again. Rumor has it the rodent is floating about the null-void which is a good thing, considering there appear to be an absurd amount of apples there now.
"Woah there blondey, it's for the good of the competition! The announcer has to have the right answer of course."
He pulled her arm out of the infinity belt and embraced her and patted her on the back. "There there, much better now. Jeffery would you like to help me console our adventuring companion?"
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