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Post by Razgat on May 29, 2013 23:06:33 GMT -5
"Oh, I don't remember. Do I have one? Hmmmm......" Random Girl sat down and began to think. "Hmmmmmm.....a weakness....a weakness....do I have a weakness? Humph. Dunno. Oh well. I'll think about it later."
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Post by Calefrun on May 29, 2013 23:24:37 GMT -5
The Illusive Squid leaned over and scooped up and handful of burning hot marshmallow puppy goo. "I mean, I'm really not entirely sure where to go with this at this point." He tossed the goo in Random Girl's general direction.
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Post by Razgat on May 29, 2013 23:42:22 GMT -5
The marshmallow goo landed on Random Girl's face. She licked some of it off. "Were we fighting? I feel like I was doing something. What were we doing? Marshmallow wrestling?" She scooped some up in her hand. " I feel like it was marshmallow wrestling."
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Post by Mizagium on May 30, 2013 0:21:33 GMT -5
"Is anyone else uncomfortable that the combatants are now playing with sticky white goo?" Xeltyr looked arouund, curiously. "No? Just me? Okay, then. I'll just sit here being uncomfortable."
"At least something's happening," Jeff shouted from across the stands. "And also the Squid is not bothering me currently, so they can go on playing in all the white goo that they..." he trailed off and made a face. "Ok, yeah, now I'm uncomfortable, too."
The Ridleys didn't care and Zelmon was attending to Lady Hioma.
What? NOT EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS IS INTERESTING!
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Post by Calefrun on May 30, 2013 0:50:31 GMT -5
The Illusive Squid sighed. "Look, I'd prefer to get this fight over with so could you at least, like, attack me or something?" He lazily tossed another ball of puppy at his opponent.
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Post by Razgat on May 30, 2013 0:55:01 GMT -5
"Ok!" Random Girl smiled and hopped up in the air with rockets for feet.
And then the floor was lava.
"I don't really know what that was supposed to be, but it's lava now." She pulled a bazooka out of thin air that shot kittens. "I had some skittles in the lounge earlier, and I was thinking of kittens. I like kittens."
A very angry, sharply clawed kitten was was shot straight at his face.
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Post by Calefrun on May 30, 2013 1:25:34 GMT -5
The Illusive Squid's legs turned into titanium, as he continued to stand on the lava floor. "Okay, this has gone on long enough," he said as he swatted a kitten out of his face and into the lava. "Congratulations, you are the second person who has ever forced me into my true form." He began to glow again, and the portion of the prism he stood on raised up above the lava coating. He then assumed the "super-saiyan transformation" position and started to yell. He may even have been screaming. A cylinder of lava spiraled up around him in an over-dramatic display of power, and the very anti-gravity of the arena began to shake.
Finally, the cylinder receded, leaving an unfamiliar looking figure standing atop the prism platform. In this form, the Illusive Squid appeared to be a man of around age 21. He had long, silver hair, the back end of which was neatly tied back. Rather than a tentacle-beard he had a real beard, though there was a group of tentacles protruding from the back of his head, also tied back with his hair. He wore a black jacket and white shirt, as well as blue pants. Atop his groin sat a magnificent codpiece, made from the finest of precious coral. His guns had also been replaced by a pair of twin katanas. "You asked my name earlier," he said with a smirk, "allow me to answer you fully this time." With a voice that boomed throughout the arena he bellowed, "I AM CALE EFRUN, THE IllUSIVE SQUID!!" He placed his hands on his hips and added, "and this.... is my DANCE!"
At that moment, Cale began to swivel. No, that's not quite right. HE BEGAN TO GYRATE, DAWG. HIS BODY MOVED FASTER AND FASTER TO THE MUSIC THAT WAS PUMPING OUT OF HIM WITH ALL KINDS OF RENEWED FERVOR. I AIN'T TALKIN' BOUT CHICKEN AND GRAVY, BIATCH. FASTER AND FASTER HE MOVED AND GROOVED, AND THE ARENA STARTED FEELIN IT TOO. "OH YEAH, BABY!" HE SENSUALLY YELLED, "I AM A SEX MACHINE!" THE GYRATIONS KEPT GETTING FASTER AND AND FASTER AND SEXIER, AND CALE BECAME JUST A BLUR AT THE CENTER OF IT ALL. SEVERAL BITCHES IN THE STANDS SWOONED AND SHIT. SOME OF THE WEAKER AUDIENCE MEMBERS SIMPLY CEASED TO EXIST. FINALLY, THE ARENA COULDN'T TAKE ANYMORE. THE SOUNDS OF CRACKING AND BREAKING COULD BE HEARD AS THE PRISM BEGAN TO CRUMBLE. THEN THE STANDS STARTED TO CRUMBLE. THEN THE LAVA STARTED TO CRUMBLE. THEN THE OTHER LAVA AND ALSO THE ANTI-GRAVITY STARTED TO CRUMBLE.
"ULTIMATE TEAM FRINEDSHIP NINJA DANCE FINAL ATTACK GOOOOO" AND THEN EVERYTHING BROKE IN A FLASH OF LIGHT THAT WAS AS BLINDING AS IT WAS AROUSING.
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Post by Monika on May 30, 2013 1:57:00 GMT -5
"Well, that's certainly a twist," Leon muttered, still not bothering to look up from his large tome. He snapped his fingers, banishing a protective Shadow Barrier (which was unnaturally effective for a Shadow Product) that had preserved the lives of the crowd from The Illusive Squid's Cale's attack. But that was all that had been salvaged. The prism upon which the combatants stood was obliterated entirely, along with the anti-gravity (which was apparently a physical construct that could be shattered). Suffice it to say, everyone in the audience was falling to their doom. "Oh, that won't do." Still looking at his book, Leon snapped his fingers and replaced the pool of lava that lined the floor with a blue portal. He then replaced the ceiling of the volcano with a green portal. Now, rather than falling to an untimely demise, the crowd would fall through the bottom, teleport to the top and continue falling indefinitely. They would have been safe, were it not for the rubble that was falling with them.
"Even I didn't know that one, and I've read a lot!" Visibly shocked, Hioma's eyes widened as she stared at Cale the Illusive Squid, too focused on him to even notice her free fall.
"Tell me, Cale. Aren't you supposed to be helping my sister with some Scroll problem? She wouldn't like it much if you were here, fighting in a tournament. You've certainly got some explaining to do once this match is over. Hundred Verabucks says she'll have you executed if she finds out." Finally setting his book down on his chair (both he and his chair were still floating, apparently immune to Cale's gyrations), Leon looked toward where the prism once was and added "Actually, I'll be keeping that hundred Verabucks. You owe me FOR ANOTHER ARENA!"
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Post by Calefrun on May 30, 2013 2:07:54 GMT -5
"Oh, don't worry," Cale replied as he returned to the original form of the Illusive Squid, "I'm over there too." He looked at his watch, then added, "I probably just finished killing some hippies or something. Also, I wish you luck with that money. My bank account in this world is as elusive as I am illusive, and in the other I'm flat broke."
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Among the falling audience members, there was a man who wasn't panicking like the rest. He was a fairly normal looking man, except for the fact that his left arm was bound in an enormous cast. With his free arm he reached into his pocket and removed a phone. He dialed a number, then put the device to his ear.
"Commander," he said, "I've found him."
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Post by Sariel of Tevet on May 30, 2013 2:15:21 GMT -5
The Dayman was falling with the rest of the crowd infinitely, but amidst all the rubble, screaming, swooning bitches, and the combined flowing locked of Fabio-Ridley and Perish, he managed to catch a glimpse of Cale the Illusive Efrun Squid's shimmering coral codpiece.
He...he truly is royalty. Magnificent!
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Post by Monika on May 30, 2013 2:17:53 GMT -5
"I see," Leon said, nodding toward The Illusive Squid. "Fair enough." Without another word, he returned to his book, idly flipping pages while pondering whether having Cale executed back in Awesome Land would affect him here.
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Post by blazinvire on May 30, 2013 6:19:10 GMT -5
Somewhere in the meantime Perish had half-drained a random audience member of their life blood -whether due to some strange mercy or careless was anyone's guess- and had managed to regenerate herself back to much her former glory.
Which unfortunately included eyes.
Right when that Squid took a level in Badass and another in Dayman.
Yet another reason to hate him, she supposed, but that was overwhelmed by the sheer amount of frustration that built up on her from this insanity, even while falling she cared more about blasting her own eyes out again with a basic shadow bolt spell, before even considering some flying measures.
"Somehow, even though I know I can't die, I just know you idiots will be the death of me," Perish grumbled as she floated blind again, her language apparently returned to normal when she properly regenerated.
The floor was a pool of lava right? Perish wasn't entirely sure if she needed to be bothered stringing some wings together, she could walk out later surely after everyone else had burned to death.
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Post by Razgat on Jun 2, 2013 0:46:04 GMT -5
Random Girl just stared with a more confusing look than usual. "I'm not sure how to respond to that....EXCEPT WITH MORE DANCE!"
Random Girl spun around until she reformed with a Disco outfit and a small group of bedazzled cats. "Funky Felines Assemble!"
The Funky Felines proceeded to act as her back up dancers as she pointed (that is what that dance move is actually called). "You can't possibly out do our Hustle!" With the combined powers of the cats, the arena began to shake in complete awe. They were funking it up in there, mostly because you aren't allowed to use any other adjectives to describe disco besides funky and groovy. They were both. They were groovunky if your mind can even handle that concept.
Beams of light sparkled off of the felines' bedazzledness, blinding anyone who happened to look upon them. They were only doubled by the rhinestones on Random Girl's Disco Outfit. "Feel the burn!"
Then Random Girl did that 'I'm hot' move where she pretended her butt was hot and went "Tssss". It was glorious.
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Post by Mizagium on Jun 2, 2013 20:30:26 GMT -5
Jeff viewed the "battle" uncertainly. Not that he was surprised at this point, he was just marveling at the state of affairs. "Hey, uh, hey Leon," he called. "You, uh, you wanna step in here and call it? I think it's time we move along here."
"Nonsense," Xeltyr said flatly. "When the End comes, such displays of nonsense are few and far between. Frequently, they are accompanied by insanity and that's just terrible."
"Are...are you, like, actually crazy, or...what?"
"I am Xeltyr."
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Post by Calefrun on Jun 3, 2013 0:39:03 GMT -5
Cale Efrun, The Illusive Squid merely stood there on the lack of anti-gravity and stared at Random Girl for 3.1416 minutes. Whether he felt shock, rage, confusion, arousal, his emotions were hidden from all, as his squid-face merely portrayed its usual, unchanging happy face.
Finally he muttered, "Your dance is weak." He drew his revolvers, and begun spinning them around his index fingers. He would occasionally toss them into the air, catching them with different hands. His tricks began to pick up speed, and he started tossing the guns behind his back as well. Suddenly his suit jacket burst into flames, and his shirt exploded. In this form, Cetis had a six pack of abs. Instead of pecks, he had more abs. In fact, his entire upper body was composed of glorious, beautiful abdominal muscles. "OHO!" he declared.
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Post by Sariel of Tevet on Jun 3, 2013 1:49:33 GMT -5
The Dayman chuckled a manly, royal chuckle and slapped a hand down on Perish's shoulder.
"That is AB-solutely spectacular! Isn't it? What a display of royalty!"
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Post by blazinvire on Jun 3, 2013 3:37:01 GMT -5
You could almost hear something snap behind Perish's newly regenerated eyes when she heard the pun and felt a hand impact her shoulder like a good old pal. With a death stare, Perish very slowly turned her head to face the Dayman, her neck making a sudden jolt and crack on the last movement and her eyes could have almost been burning from the stare.
Her hands came up in shaking clawed gestures, smoking with shadowy black wisps as an unfriendly black aura enveloped them, going towards the Dayman's face as though she was intending on tearing his face off or something.
"I, would eat your soul, if I weren't so terrified that your horrible puns and flamboyance would infect me like this infernal hair," Perish said, dripping murderous intent, "Why is it that the necromancer appears to be the only sane one in this group? We're the ones who dance around in blood making wreathes out of entrails and you're making me feel so overwhelmingly tame... There is something wrong with that."
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Post by Damien on Jun 3, 2013 11:54:19 GMT -5
Overhearing Perish's comment, Trosdan felt the need to reply.
"You're not the only one," he said. "I was possessed. Now that the spirit is gone, I'm back to my normal self. Also, I'm probably the most sane person here. Like you said, as a necromancer, you dance around in blood and...what was it?...make wreathes out of entrails?"
He turned to regard the ridiculousness that was the battle between Cale, the Illusive Squid, and his opponent...what did she call herself again?...Random Girl?
"I really hope Leon will call this soon. I'm getting antsy for my fight."
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Post by Razgat on Jun 3, 2013 14:39:13 GMT -5
Random Girl's body turned to water, making dodging much easier, and splashed herself at Cale. That's all it really was. A splash. She had intended for it to be bigger, but she didn't really intend to be water anyway.
Now that Cale's abs were glistening with water, Random Girl reformed with her arms and legs around him like a sloth. "I like hugs."
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Post by Calefrun on Jun 3, 2013 16:02:13 GMT -5
Cale Efrun, the Illusive Squid, and all of his glistening abs gazed upon Random Girl with a look of disapproval. "Ladies," he turned his head and abs towards Perish, giving her the same look, "please control yourselves. I know that I'm essentially a large, amazingly handsome teddy bear with tentacles, but this sort of behavior is entirely unacceptable."
Cetis flexed his incredible muscles, and each of his abs turned into a fist. They all simultaneously punched Random Girl, sending her flying backwards into the falling necromancer.
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