Esteros: The Dancing Dragons

[Myrdraxxis]

That....kinda hurt. Magnus growled again, this time royally pissed off. "Alright buddy, I didn't want to have to do this. I usually don't."

He was still fairly close to the Dayman.

He conjured....a small knife. "Let's see how that royal blood of yours works against you." He said, then stabbed himself through the hand. Blood began flowing from the wound....and then started to glow faintly and began to hover around Magnus. Magnus twited his hand and a stream of it struck the Dayman.

"Now then..." a smile came to his face. A maniac smile. He held out both hands like a puppeteer. "ON YOUR KNEES."

The blood compulsion took effect.

[Sariel of Tevet]

The Dayman took to his knees, an action that was exemplified by the sound of Prince Elton squeeing in the background, then followed by the sound of Diane punching him again. As he sat, perched on his knees like some filthy commoner, specifically those in the Rainbow Isles, felt defeated. He stared down and his codpiece caught his eye. His glorious, shining codpiece of matrimony shone up at him. It was unscathed from the battle...and then he remembered. It was imbued with the power of true love, royal love. He slowly began to mumble.

"Love..true..love..."

He gained further control over his mouth.

"Royal love can...conquer...all...

His jaw began to tremble as the control of the blood magic began to slip.

"I am never truly...fighting...alone. I will never be alone."

He regained control of his head and neck, and turned to look at Diane. Her hands were clasped around the neck of Prince Elton and she was shaking him violently. It was probably not the dazzling and graceful picture that he had hopefully turned to look for, but it would do just fine.

His body began to spread with a vast warmth and his limbs began to tingle as the feeling returned. His scepter was still clutched in his hands. He was able to bring it up to his eyes slightly.

"With this, I fight with the power of my lineage, a lineage filled with royal love. A lineage that I will continue with my wife. A lineage that will power the adventures of my sons, and their sons. I shall pass on my secrets, and carry on my families name."

He rose, and began to position himself for a famous royal pelvic thrust. The clouds rolled overhead and the lightning began to brew. The wind flew through his ridiculous and overwhelming cloak. His chest bolstered through his glorious deep v neck.

"I, The Incredibly Handsome and Much Much Better Than You Prince Ali-Hammurabi-dappapa-pastathopoulos-giannis-maleza-demetreus-qui-gon-jinn-julius of The Secluded and Tropical Nation of Koosalagoopagoopakuzbekistanahamas, the 4th, Esquire, Jr., will, defeat....YOU!"

His pelvic thrust shattered the sound barrier and he threw his hand into the air. The lightning came down from the heavens and struck his outstretched hand, he placed the end of his scepter to the chest of Magnus and let the electricity flow into him.

[Monika]

Zelmon had been sitting ever patiently atop his lifeguard tower for the entirety of the fight. During its phase on Jupiter. During the teleportation to the Dayman's secluded island. During the part where the fight changed into a full scale war between armies. He was determined to be as good an announcer and referee as possible so as to make Hioma proud once she awoke from her unconsciousness.

"This battle has raged on for quite some time," he thought. "What would Hioma want me to do as the moderator?"

Her words came rushing to his mind. "If we're going to keep Leon's job safe, then we'll have to do things as he would."

"And what would Leon do if a battle went on far longer than it should have?" He recalled the Cale vs. Random Girl match, in which Leon changed the format entirely and nearly declared himself winner. "I've got it! I'll just declare another winner entirely." He looked around, trying to find a perfect candidate. "It cannot be someone who has already lost. That would not be honorable, nor would it make for an interesting match. No, it should be someone new...That's what Hioma would say..." After scanning the surrounding area, his eyes locked onto Riona.

"That one!" Zelmon pointed at her. "The one who looks very much like an old time wench! She is the winner of Fight 8!"

[Myrdraxxis]

Magnus reeled from the attack, honestly taken by surprise as the Dayman fought the blood compulsion. It was not something easily done. Magnus had, once, and it had nearly killed him in the process.

He let the lightning flow through him, not moving a muscle, mouth open in a wordless cry of surprise. Lightning was nothing to him. Hell, it was his modus operandi spellwise. But he let the attack hit, eyes locked on the Dayman.

The lightning subsided and Magnus began to gather more magic. His reserves of energy weren't nearly tapped out yet.

He stared at the Dayman thoughtfully. 'Love...huh?' It was a foreign concept to him. One that he had shut out a long time ago, along with any form of meaningful connection to others. After all, for someone who outlived everyone around them, love and attachment brought nothing but pain and misery. He knew that firsthand. His long life had stripped Magnus of any love or attachment until all that remained was bitter amusement and emptiness.

'How long ago did I stop trying?' he wondered as he stared at his opponent. Seeing someone who relied on such things was both grimly amusing to see and at the same time soul-achingly depressing.

Magnus gathered a spell for attack...and then let it fade out.

The souls of his Knights still fighting below froze in unison, and began to fade away back to their master. The storm dissipated.

He smirked.

"I concede."

[Mizagium]

Jeff and Xeltyr (and the Ridleys, I suppose) stood around awkwardly.

"Did...is the round over?" Jeff asked. "Magnus surrendered at the same time Zelon declared Riona the winner..." he looked at the new girl.

Xelytr chuckled. "That means she fights me!"

[blazinvire]

Perish's eyes narrowed blandly as she watched the outcome of the fight, after all that craziness and raw power being slung around, all that shouting and gallivanting and annoying pomp and crazy magic, and then Magnus conceded.
Because of love.
Because the Dayman apparently took a leaf out of every book of cliche hero ever after getting married and professed that he was going to win because of love.

"Wat..." was all Perish could utter.

[Myrdraxxis]

"Uh....boss?" Leske asked as Magnus returned to the stands. The mage ignored him for the moment, content to take a breather and dust the pomp off of his coat. The mooketeers exchanged a look. "Magnus?" Leske tried again.

"hm?"

"That was pretty impressive....even if the Dayman bet you-" Magnus cut him off.

"He didn't beat me. He won. There's a difference."

"Uh....there is?" Ash asked.

Magnus started ignoring them again, sinking into his own thoughts.

[Wally]

The old time wench wins!

The energies died down and Riona slumped down in a glorious fashion of skirts. Annoying. I've not mentioned my name or lifted a blade. I was busy getting high off this glorious display. With a glance over the rowdy bunch she grinned at them. Y'all would make an 'ell of a crew.


The thought of winning by doing nothing though . . . . was boring. She never lifted a blade or dagger. Of course a fight with her would not be a fair one, as it seemed of the others in front of her had powers she could never amass. She wasn't magically inclined of course. She was vampire, a creature that just observed and took in the energies around her. Side line was were she was at. She laughed at the one who wished to fight. Immortals with too much time on their hands and not enough to do. A sweet smile spread on her face as she thought well there were other ways to battle than just blades.

I forfeit. she shrugged her shoulders and strode to the one who challenged her. Her life was about losing to win and winning to lose. Batting her eyes she took off her hat and bowed low. I'm just a humble gurl, ya sees? Nothing 'ere in me 'ead to speak of. A fight with me would be child's play to you. I say we shall drink and be merry! Applaud the two fighters for their glorious battle! 

She looked up at the Dayman and Magnus with a cheeky grin. What say you gents? A little bit of a drinking game to start the party. I AM a barwench I make the meanest drinks this side of the dimension.

She hoped they would concur. To drink and be randy and rowdy and brawl and laugh and .... and.... She wanted to stay and feed off those energies. Stick with this crew and she'd be young forever. Since it seemed there were immortals around her. No one could just piece themselves together like that. Straightening herself she sashayed back to the piece of rubble that was her perch. Introductions of course first! I'm Riona Krasava. Just a barmaid. 

[blazinvire]

Perish just sighed, standing there with her arms folded looking rather disappointed, throwing the odd glare at Magnus as she tapped her foot in contemplation.
This newcomer seemed rather spirited and probably had like, some ancient primordial horror as a pet or something since she clearly couldn't be normal -not amongst these dimensional rejects- and tossed up between getting smashed and getting more blood for whenever her next fight was.
She really did need to steal a few drops from these crazy strong people around here... but alas, perhaps she'd need to be patient and merely settle with whatever the rest of the audience could provide her. Part of her was a little concerned another Fabio incident would happen... the blond hair was a horrible reminder...

So she decided a compromise and waved her hand about in circular gestures, causing black symbols to appear about the floor behind her and suits of obsidian armor floated out, animated, they immediately advanced on the audience while Perish decided to go over to this 'Riona'.

"Gettin' trashed seems like a great idea, count me in," Perish said flatly.

[Calefrun]

"Mmpphmrgmm." Cetis said through a mouthful of spaghetti, sending sauce flying in every direction. A squidsassin appeared and handed him a mug the size of a bucket.

"I... I think he wants a drink." The squidsassin explained before disappearing.

[Monika]

"So...does that mean the prince wins, then?" Zelmon looked around frantically, unsure of what to do. One the one hand, he had declared a winner, but on the other hand both that winner and Magnus had conceded defeat. "Oh, Lady Hioma, please wake up soon! I'm no good at this tournament refereeing business."

As if responding to Zelmon's anguish, Hioma began to stir from her spot on the ground near Zelmon's chair. "Oof...What happened? And...why are we in Daymanland?" She couldn't be bothered to say the full name in her current state. "What happened to Jupiter? Does it still exist?"

Breathing a sigh of relief, Zelmon replied "Yes, milady. 'Jupiter', as you call it, is still in tact. You lost consciousness after taking us there. During the battle, the Dayman brought us to this foreign land. The battle raged on for so long that I opted to declare a victor myself, as Leon would. But that victor was a third party." He pointed to Riona. "And, what's more, Magnus forfeit! Immediately after I declared a winner. And then she forfeit too! Oh, milady, I have no idea what I'm doing! I need more training." Zelmon hadn't felt this helpless since his days as a young atheist squire. Back when there was order and structure and things made sense.

"You're doing fine, Zelmon," Hioma assured him. "The Dayman will be the winner of that fight and the remaining battles will proceed like the list says. You can hand it to me so I can help you referee the next match, if you want."

"Please do, milady." He tossed the scroll of paper down toward her.

"Round 2: Fight 1," she read, "Maverick versus Sailor Eros. Oh. Well, looks like you're on your own again, Zelmon. Where is Maverick anyway? I haven't seen or heard from him in a while."

Silently hoping that Maverick wouldn't show up, Zelmon merely shrugged his shoulders. "Ah, well. I suppose you can join me up here and help-"

"No, not yet. We need to have a grace period at least, Zelmon. It's only fair." Hioma answered. "We have to keep the tournament exciting, remember?"

"I suppose so, milady." Sighing, Zelmon carefully climbed down from his lifeguard tower and shouted "ATTENTION FIGHTERS AND AUDIENCE! THERE WILL BE A THIRTY MINUTE REST PERIOD WHILST WE WAIT FOR ONE OF THE COMBATANTS TO SHOW UP!"

"Now you're getting into the announcer spirit, Zelmon!" Hioma smiled, shaking the last bit of unconsciousness from her head. "Everyone rest up. The second round will begin shortly. If my opponent doesn't show up, then we'll move on to Perish and Jeffrey." Handing the list back to Zelmon, she turned toward the barrier-wizard-in-training and the murderous necromancer. "Good luck. To both of you."

[Mizagium]

Jeff snickered. "Looks like Hioma's going to win by default. Maverick's vanished after 'defeating' the Bread Wizard." He made sure to use air quotes around "defeated". "But getting stupid drunk between rounds sounds like a plan." He looked around, disappointed at the lack of a bar. "Xeltyr, go find us some drinks."

Xeltyr nodded, looked around, looked up. Looked around again. "I don't even know where we are. This isn't my homeland or my home-time."

"Oh yeah. Aren't you from Southryos or something? I wasn't paying attention."

"Really Cool Land."

"Huh. Where's that?"

"'Nother dimension."

"Oooooof course it is."

[Sariel of Tevet]

The Dayman more or less limped over towards Diane, who was still choking the life out of Prince Elton. The Rainbow Prince didn't seem to mind however, he was too busy trying to squee at the dazzling display of romance that his beefy love interest had given. The Dayman embraced his wife (while she still had Prince Elton dangling in the air of course) and was instantly rejuvenated for the second round.

"Aahh! Much better my dear. All healed up. Honestly I ought to call you Nurse Joy! Not..for any copyrighted reasons of course, but because you fill me with so much joy!"

She dropped the colorful prince that she held prisoner from oxygen, and nudged her way up against his brawny chest that was still poking out from his dimensionally displaced deep v neck.

"I knew you could do it Ali! You won sort of! And you did it all with the power of royal love! The greatest force in the universe! All royalty deserves it wouldn't you say? It is so glorious."

The Dayman glanced over to the remains of Hobotron, who despite his skewered appearance, remained as shiny and royal as ever.

"You are quite right dear, you always are. I have something I must attend to, but first. Welshy!!!"

Welshy was no occupied with cleaning up the battle field, on his own, and administering the defeated soldiers with their discharge papers. Losing soldiers are given instant hobo status and must be ejected from the palace you see. He heard his name being called, and reluctantly looked up at The Dayman. "Yes sire?"

"This Riona character has given her desire for drinks. Do please administer them to all the characters. Also, you have to change. Honestly Welshy, you serve royalty. Are you honestly going to let a common vampire bar tart out whore you? Dirty up those knees and dawn cousin Arturo's Rainbow Isle maid outfit. I am sure it will fit you. Chop chop!"

Welshy mumbled to himself. "Well, this certainly isn't the most humiliating thing I have had to do for this family, but atleast I DO have wonderful legs." He ran off to get changed and acquire the infinite alcohol dispenser from the kitchen.

The Dayman walked over to Hobotron and pulled the very controller that spawned the vagrant mecha in the first place right from the loins of his infinity belt.

"You have been quite loyal, old friend. It is the least I can do. Lord knows we have enough hobos to spare now."

He pressed the button and watched the former royal soldiers come together in a blinding and grotesque vortex of beards and filth (a training beard is also administered with their discharge papers). Apparently, there were more than enough hobos for the repairs, so many in fact that an entirely separate mecha had formed. Standing next to Hobotron, was now a dazzling vagrant identical mech, only that this machine was rendered the color pink and had "Lady Hobotron" etched into her chassis.

"Well met old friend! You seem to have found yourself a companion!"

Hobotron took the hand of Lady Hobotron and made a few computer noises...that sounded vaguely sexual. The Dayman took his royal pose as a means to applaud the new couple.

"I believe another set of "I do's" are in order! Lady Hioma would you do the honors? I would ask Cetis, but he seems to be inebriated already."

Welshy returned, maid outfit and all. "Alcohol anyone?"

Prince Elton swaggered up to the servant and cupped hit buttox firmly in his palm. "No alcohol please, but It think I'll have you. You have some nice legs you know."

[Mizagium]

While the tournament party got busy getting wasted, the Mechanist King paced his Chromium Tower, Rurik in tow.

"Wait, so, they're having a tournament?" he asked incredulously.

Rurik sighed. "It appears so, sire. Something about the dragons being in love and then they needed rings and there was a bone cathedral..." He shrugged and said "eh".

The Mechanist King groaned. "Are they like the worst heroes ever, or am I hallucinating?"

"I checked the histories, sire. There have been some pretty bad heroes before, but none of them fought a battle with giant hobo-mechs, blew up a city block, robbed a museum, and killed as many local law enforcement as these have."

He could feel the aneurism pulsating in his skull. "Does...does the Keymaster...is he certain that his Jeffrey boy is the new Immortal?"

"Yes, sir. He is absolutely positive that Jeffrey Valentine is the next Immortal of Order."

He slumped into his Clockwork Throne in a very non-royal manner. He wasn't cut out for this whole king business. "And the Two Queens?"

"Salma has made advances into Southryos. She seems reluctant to take troops away from her north and and northeastern borders."

Northeastern? "Are her and Evennia not getting along?"

"Perhaps not. Both Queens appear to be massing troops along their shared border and ours."

And this is exactly the kind of situation I wanted to avoid. At least, I needed my rule to be solidified for a few years before the do-gooders showed up. But I knew what I was getting into when I took them out of the Chrytallus...

"Proceed as planned. Rurik, I need you to find Khilbron. He was loyal to us, but we still haven't heard from him."

Rurik coughed nervously. "Perhaps, sir, it was a...mammoth."

"The Death-Mammoths are a myth, Rurik. No one has ever seen one."

"And lived to tell about it."

"Just find him."

"Aye, sir."

[blazinvire]

With a bar constructed of obsidian, skeletal anatomy and some ivory, Perish was already sitting there like a miserable soul with an absolutely awesome skull-tankard in one hand and a personal skeletal waiter to fill her cup whenever it was empty.

"This all sucks. Can't even remember what I'm doin' here, all these ambishuns and I managed to get so sidetracked I can't even remember what planet or dimenshun or whatever I'm from or trying to conquerer or evn if I was tryin' to conquer," Perish grumbled with her drunken slur, carelessly downing another tankard of ale -it was quite handy not having to breathe and taste buds you could switch off, Perish could technically drink for as long as she wanted.
Except she still had the necessary organs so the alcohol was still getting to her -in dizzying quantities.

[Myrdraxxis]

"I think we were supposed to be getting some sort of Stone..or something." Maagnus said and settled down at Perish' bar and grabbed a drink from behind the bar. "Yet for some reason all I can think of is that our main quest is to get a dragon hitched." he downed the drink. "Yet I know that's not right." he sighed.


"If we keep dragging ass then the Northyros army just might catch up to us."

[Calefrun]

"Whaht th fize is a Norethytrosa?" Cetis (Who officially looks like this now because Ashley is Awesome: i.imgur.com/ap1hDWN.jpg) asked as he staggered over to the bar. "I nevrt harde fo tat plauce eut J bers theon go sem damn fine wrenhies!"

[Monika]

Hioma had been searching far and wide (across the Dayman's island, at least) for Maverick, but could not find him anywhere. He had simply...vanished.

"Hmm..." She furrowed her brows in concentration. "Where in the world could he be...?" After a couple minutes of thinking, she shouted "Aha!" and withdrew her Pen and Notebook. "Maverick appeared before Hioma, prepared to start the first fight of the second round of the 193rd D.W.A.R.F. Tournament." Still, nothing happened. "Not even the Notebook of Fate! worked. I hope he's not in the Null-Void...or worse, Incrediland." She shuddered at the thought. Zelmon came up behind her and patted her on the shoulder.

"Cheer up, milady!" he said rather excitedly. "This just means you win this fight by default!"

"Yea, I guess..." Hioma frowned. "But I still would have liked to have done something. Ah, well. I guess that just means I get to help you announce the next few rounds, then."

Zelmon restrained himself from shouting "YES!" and merely nodded. "Thank you, Lady Hioma. Shall we have a drink before we get the next match underway?"

"Hmm?" Hioma raised in eyebrow in confusion. "Silly, Zelmon. I'm not old enough to drink," she said in a very matter-of-fact tone.

"I beg your pardon, milady? Not...old enough?" Zelmon raised his own eyebrow, unseen from his helmet.

"Oh, that's right." She recalled that she wasn't in her home dimension. "I'm guessing you guys don't have drinking laws here. Remind me to take you to Earth one day."

"To...Earth." Zelmon made a mental note.

"Uh-huh. But that's neither here nor there. Let's move on to the next round!" She scribbled a few notes with the Pen of Love! and the lifeguard tower came to life, grabbing the two and lifting them both onto its seat. "Now, let's see...What would Leon do? What would Leon do..." Hioma scratched her chin thoughtfully and started smiling. "Leon would...horribly skew the fight in the favor of one combatant for both his and the audience's amusement, making sure to take advantage of the combatants' drunken states..." And then she started to write.

"As spectators and contestants alike began downing alcohol, the space around them began to distort. All of the tournament entrants, watchers and a few passers-by all looked on as the Dayman's island faded from their sight and into darkness. This darkness was soon supplanted by a hellish nightmare of a world, lit only by the dim moonlight. It was an enormous, acre-sized, roofless torture chamber. Skeletons littered its floor. Various, barely living creatures - chimeras and minotaurs and mummies - were chained and nailed to the walls, bleeding from all over their bodies. Swords, axes, spears and blood rained down from the sky into the chamber. The moon itself moved closer to the chamber and spoke these words: 'This room has been built upon an ancient burial ground and is haunted by the souls of the deceased. For those brave enough to enter this world, death is the only exit.' Perish and Jeffrey appeared in the center of this torture chamber, their erratic, drunken movements only exacerbated by the chaotic gravity of the room. Up became right and down became backwards, and even the most seasoned fighters would struggle to find their bearings here."

And lo, did Hioma's words come true. Everyone appeared inside the torture chamber; Hioma and Zelmon in their lifeguard tower, Jeffery and Perish on the floor and everyone else in a surprisingly comfortable set of bone chairs that lined the walls (right under the chained creatures).

One of the people who had been at the bar complained. "Heeeyyy...whereshall the ale?" He hiccuped.

"And Perish's obsidian bar appeared in a corner next to the row of bone chairs." Hioma wrote.

"Hey, thanksh..." The bar patron collapsed.

"Now, without further ado..." Hioma nodded toward Zelmon. "Let Round 2: Fight 2 between Jeffrey Valentine and the Blood Empress, Perish, begin!" Zelmon and Hioma announced together. Hioma wrote a few titanium umbrellas into existence for each of the noncombatants to protect them from the blood/sword/axe/spear/miscellaneous weapon rainstorm.

The moon loomed a few hundred meters over the empty ceiling, smiling down at everyone.

[Mizagium]

Doing his best, and failing, to avoid looking at the moon, Jeff gave Perish a friendly-ish wave. "So, uh. Here we are finally, huh?" He coughed awkwardly, glancing around at the "arena". He wondered if Leon would have done a more or less terrifying job of refereeing.

"So, uh, good game?"

He shrugged and conjured up his barriers, feeling the power filling his body. "Nothing personal, but after that hug fiasco, I don't think I want to get anywhere near you during this fight." So the barrier sword technique was out, not that he used it much anyway. He layered his body in translucent shields so that he seemed to glow.

I'll figure it out as I go.

[blazinvire]

Unfortunately Perish was absolutely blind drunk by this point, and all the terrain shifting might've made her lose her stomach if she hadn't been so distracted by the new surroundings -kind of seemed eerily familiar... but then again, she'd seen a lot in her unlife, eventually things would start chipping up twice.
Her minions in the meantime had collected a respectable quantity of blood without any fatalities amazingly, and Perish had discovered new ways to store said blood in a more convenient and efficient manner -resulting in her chest gaining a few cup-sizes, so she was all juiced up for a fight that she probably wouldn't be able fight in properly.

"Who... who's yer intererr designerr?" Perish mumbled, peering at the surroundings with a kind of awe and intrigue, "Totally need ta hire em... some day..."

Her gaze finally found Jeff again and she tweaked onto the fact she was supposed to be fighting.
"Oh right..." Perish said, blinking a few times and attempting to stand up straight -and fail miserably, instead swaying dangerously on the spot, "bin meenin ta get some of yer blood... keys 'n barriers... meh... I had a plan for this fight... seem to have... misplaced... oh wait!"

She roughly flung a hand out and threw a glob of black energy on the floor to her right, and another gesture off to her left, and the two globs unfolded and quickly draw runic circles on the floor and started charging.
Perish then brought her right hand back, rapidly engulfed in black energy that twisted into some serpentine/demonic/draconic head visage, and then flung it dramatically forward -nearly falling on her face in the process.
The dark and menacing projectile roared from her hands in the form of a serpentine with that devilish head, opened maw ready to bite something in half -except it rapidly spiraled off drunkily, completely missing Jeff and exploding like a necrotic firework up in the air somewhere.

"Hurk..." Perish half-hiccuped, bending forwards for a moment and then attempting to regain her stance.