Esteros: The Dancing Dragons

[Mizagium]

Jeff grinned sheepishly at the spectacle that was Perish. Drunk Perish is best Perish, he thought cheerily. Whatever he HAD planned to do for this fight instantly flew out the window in favor of something a bit more...fun.

Without moving from his stance, he slipped a thin barrier under each of Perish's feet. Then he proceeded to move them up and down slightly, independent of each other, and with as little rhythm as possible.

"Hey, refs! If she doesn't get up for ten seconds, is that a technical knockout?"

[Calefrun]

"Dde whaus evtj hapeninin rijt nut." Cetis sat upside down in his seat, though managing to hold his mug upright and occasionally take a sip.

[blazinvire]

Seemed like moving was a bad idea -world had a habit of spinning around, very bad for balance and general desire for consciousness, but Perish's next brilliant plan of beating Jeff by not moving was foiled when the floor became her nemesis and her already precarious balance was shot to pieces.

"Wat the zaerfka is wrong with dis floor!?" Perish said in frustration, staggering quite wildly all over the place, looking like she was about to fall over the entire time and doing an amazing job of avoiding doing so, firing off more dark bolts of energy that spiraled off all over the place haphazardly. Until she finally fell over, though her impact with the ground came with a staggering blast of obsidian spikes bursting out of the ground all over the place around her in no particular order or fashion.
Energy built up under her and a small black explosion violently tossed Perish into the air and sort of onto her feet again.

The spikes crumbled and collapsed not long after their emergence, while Perish busied herself regaining her footing again she flicked out a hand, a plume of black smoke erupted from it and a black jagged sword appeared -from there she made an incredibly drunken run for Jeff with an overly dramatic swing at him.
But had she actually seen what happened to her sword with her drunken magic, she might've had second thoughts on the idea as the blade was in no shape to deliver anything worse than a scratch before exploding to pieces.

The resulting sword-shattering and her reckless charge resulted in her nearly face-planting again, staggering and spinning past Jeff in extreme disorientation, grabbing vainly at his shoulder or something to try and catch herself.

[Mizagium]

Jeff's amusement at Perish was enough for him to let his guard slip. In her flailing out, Perish did indeed catch hold of Jeff's shirt and pulled him along. She fell backward, he fell forward. They landed together, him on top of her.

Turning red and grinning in spite of himself, Jeff said, "So, what're you doing later?"

[blazinvire]

Perish groaned a little from the crash, looking grumpy a Jeff and clutching her head. Stupid alcohol content in her blood magic... she would have thought a poison would be right up her alley, that her magic might've been boosted by it or something, augmented? But no, her homing sentient spells of death and destruction suffered inebriation too -usually she didn't even have to aim, the spell would do most of the work and she could just provide a nudge here or there as necessary.

"Yer a useless leanin' post," Perish mumbled, grimacing in concentration again and symbols started flooding the area, webbing out from her position all over the place and beginning to gather energy, deciding against moving right now since the floor would have difficulty messing with her laying down, and a Styxian Flow would let her avoid most of the issues with walking hopefully -if that spell wasn't likewise drunk... she actually had no idea what a drunk Styxian Flow would do...

But she just laid there, apparently unconcerned that her newly up-sized assets were Jeff's cushions right now, more wondering about what would happen if Jeff failed to move.

[Mizagium]

"Now kiss!" Xeltyr shouted from the stands.

"What? No!" Jeff carefully disentangled himself from the inebriated necromancer. "So, uh. How 'bout that fight, eh?"

[blazinvire]

"Whatcha think I'm doin?" Perish grumbled in reply to Jeff, propping herself up on her elbows after he climbed off. The symbols spread across the floor suddenly glowed and a huge river of black screaming spirits and bones roared out, sweeping up Perish and carrying her high into the air. At least, at first it did; then it went spiraling around the room like the world's craziest water slide, occasionally attempting to crash into Jeff but honestly any 'accuracy' from it was likely to be completely accidental.

Another casualty of Perish's clouded mind was the fact she forgot to put a drainage ritual circle for the Styxian Flow, so that dangerous river of spirits just kept gushing out and snaking around.

"Aight, I'ma get dat blood this time," Perish said with a bit of determination -while flying along upside-down in the river- and conjured a few swords to follow her to strike Jeff -when or possibly if the river ever flowed back in his general direction.

[Myrdraxxis]

"Well at least this is entertaining." Leske mused as the mooketeers (who had resolved to change their moniker at some point now that they actually had character) were watching the "fight". And keeping an eye on Magnus who was still drinking at Perish's bar. Somehow the idea of a drunk Magnus didn't sit well with them.

The wizard in question was on his third fish tank of beer. "Sho, why rnt you drunk yet?" Magnus slurred as he conversed with the Bread Wizard, who had managed to make himself inconspicuous throughout the whole tournament. He may suck, but he wasn't completely stupid. "Yoooou've had almosht as much as me."


"Well that's because bread absorbs the alcohol rather quickly." The Bread Wizard explained casually, taking a sip of his drink. "I have a high tolerance for alcohol."

Magnus blinked. "Wait...you're actually made of bread?"

"Of course not." THe Bread Wizard scoffed. "That would be ridiculous."

[Mizagium]

Somehow, Perish did manage to hit Jeff. Rather, she impacted his barrier that he conjured at the last second because, honestly, who thought she was going to actually hit him? Not this guy. No siree.

"Is it really a good idea to fight drunk?" Jeff questioned, gathering strength into his barrier. "I mean, not that I think it can actually hurt you...since you're undead or something. You know what? Whatever." Once the resistance was high enough, she threw the barrier (and Perish) away from himself. He summoned another one and wrapped it around into a sphere (well, a dome) and said, "All right. Let's see how creative I can be."

He proceeded to pantomime punching, which resulted in barrier vesicles to pinch off and fly at Perish as speeds high enough to do damage.

"Good thing I paid attention in freshman biology."

[blazinvire]

After smacking into something and then getting tossed aside like old news, Perish was in a heap on the floor looking incredibly groggy, having serious issues getting to her feet -even more so when finally standing and strange barrier bullets were pelting her.
Considering how substantially numbed her state was, she barely felt more than the kinetic pushing of the barriers, getting thrown about from the shots and getting grumpier with each one, until she lashed out with her left hand that was engulfed in black energy and snapped around one of the barrier pellets with surprising accuracy for her inebriation.
The black energy aura subsided and a devilish black gauntlet was in its place, though it looked more like some strange dead creature had been fused around her arm, and her fingers were like flexible fangs.

Whilst clutched in the strange gauntlet, the barrier pellet seemed to slowly disintegrate as though from age or something, like rust on metal.

"I hate barriers," Perish complained airily, still swaying on the spot, bringing her right hand up and a dozen of those obsidian swords flew up at her command. Another giant ritual circle grew out from under her feet, ready to charge up another spell.
"Need ta... overwhelm or somethin..." Perish mumbled, making a swirling gesture in the air with her hand, and more obsidian swords burst out of the ground to join the others in a giant swarm, all floating about a little drunkenly.
"Yeah, I'll just... numbers..." Perish said with a nod, twirling the gesture a few more times for even more swords, but they all started floating a lot more haphazardly as she was having difficulty maintaining so many now, "Just, squash you with numbers, that'll work, always works."

She dramatically brought her hand up, and then disappeared as the Styxian Flow sidelined her, crashing back in and sweeping her up and off about the room again, the storm of swords just collapsed to the ground -quite a lot of them got caught up in the river of spirits.

[Myrdraxxis]

"Copy cat!" Magnus yelled from the stands, swaying on his feet a little bit. "Storms of swords ish my idea!" He stepped back a pace because the world began to spin.

Literally.

An intoxicated practitioner of reality-warping powers does not a stable environment make. "Oh god hold on to something!" Desmond shouted.

[Mizagium]

Slightly confused, Jeff managed to catch - you read that right, folks - catch the Stygian Flow with a barrier scoop. The force of the tortured souls eroded his barriers almost as fast as he could throw them up.

"This...is why...I...hate...necromancers!"

Unable to stop the flow (or really do anything else) Jeff decided on a gambit. Perish was far from her right mind and the flow seemed to obey her only sometimes. So, took the scoop and moved it somewhere else. Basically, he threw the head of the flow to the side, towards the rest of the stadium.

Jeff used barriers to redirect the screaming flow of souls. It was then that he noticed Perish caught up in the flow, too.

"Maybe that wasn't a good idea..."

[blazinvire]

Considering she hadn't actually planned to get swept up in the Flow at the time combined with her drunken state, Perish literally had no idea what the hell just happened, her world was spinning and twirling waaaaay too fast for her to make heads or tails of anything.
And then, you know, Jeff intervened again and she had even less hope -spiraling off elsewhere and crashing quite dramatically amongst the audience, with the constant flow of spirits blasting into her kind of ruining any idea of moving at the moment.

One of those many obsidian swords burst out of the flow and sunk into the giant sigil the river of souls was flying out of, which quite quickly destabilized and snapped shut, the ends of the flow frayed and split wildly, the spirits flying in every direction as they were freed from the flow's compulsion.

At last Perish was visible again in a small eroded crater, her robe regenerating awkwardly and her hair in a ragged yet fabulous mess as she used a staff made of obsidian as a walking stick to stand up properly.
Between the damage of the spirits and the hundred or so swords that had been swept up and now subsequently most of them impaled in Perish, the necromancer wasn't looking that sharp and shiny any more.

"Stupid spell..." Perish grumbled, stumbling away from the crater, extracting swords from herself and unsummoning them in equal measure so she properly regenerate.
"Where the heck am I...?" Perish mumbled, still looking around rather blearily, swaying dangerously but her awesome obsidian staff was doing a famous job as a leaning post.

[Mizagium]

"Oh good," Jeff quipped, wiping sweat from his face. "You're up. I was starting to think this match was going to be an easy win for me."

He flexed his fingers, summoning his power, but it was mostly bluster. While he wasn't sure of the limits of his power, he knew he would soon approach them. The strain would be too much for him to handle. And something inside told him that the outcome would not be pretty.

He hoped to avoid that.

"Shall we?"

[blazinvire]

Perish blinked a few times and peered carefully at the origin of the voice, examining Jeff for a moment until a few bells rung and she remembered she was supposed to be fighting -again.
She swayed and blinked some more, grimacing a little in thought for a plan, coming up with a few ideas that'd only seem smart to the inebriated.

"Shure whynot," Perish slurred, pointing at Jeff accusingly after a moment, "Five against one isn't fair though, ya damn cheater."
She flicked her spare hand a few times and four sigils appeared, skeletons clawed their way out of the ground and picked up some of the spare swords on the ground.
"Fffffrickin' bring it!" Perish said, staggering forwards, moving her staff in attempt to allow herself to travel forward -except she nearly fell over again and had to plant the staff in the ground again, "Quit messin' with the floor too!"

[Mizagium]

"I wasn't" Jeff muttered. "But that's a good idea."

Too bad he didn't have time to do so. Perish might have been intoxicated, but her animated skeletons surely weren't. While she stumbled along, her minions swarmed him. Unable to keep his full barriers up, Jeff had to settle for conjuring small ones when they struck.

"Oh, come on. I really. Hate. Necromancers!"

He ducked under an attack and wrapped a barrier around his fist--he delivered a sharp uppercut to the offending skeleton, sending it's head sailing across the creepy stage.

"Rock 'em sock 'em boneys!" He managed to punch the three remaining skeletons' heads off, leaving them wandering around aimlessly.

Only Perish remained.

[blazinvire]

Perish was managing to stand fairly still with the aid of her staff as she watched Jeff make short work of her skeletons -personally she couldn't really figure out why his copies weren't so effective, or how they were able to float around so easily, but apparently mere skeletons weren't enough to kill Jeff.
Thus inebriation produced its next 'likely not actually an intelligent idea' and Perish threw away her staff in frustration -immediately starting to sway again but her head had mostly stopped spinning by now- and then gripped her right forearm with her left hand in a claw-like manner.

"Screw 'dis! I command the essence of death itself, I'll just... take things more directly..." Perish said, grunting a little as she almost seemed to be trying to tear her right arm off at the elbow.
And as black energy radiated from her left hand, it actually seemed like she was succeeding, clawing her left hand along her right forearm to her hand slowly, leaving a large skeletal arm in its wake surrounded by a truly disturbing black energy that swam and floated like oil.
"Reaper's Touch kills ennethin..." Perish blurted out zealously, waving her newly dangerous arm about before charging wildly at Jeff yet again, the lethal arm wound back ready to deliver the touch of death.

...At least... she would have if she hadn't fricken tripped again!
She fell in a tumbling mess onto Jeff, the Reaper arm disappearing somewhere in her distraction and the proceeding tumble.
Perish didn't really know what happened after that point, as her brain swimming in alcohol as it was made the blur of the spinning world too much to comprehend, as such that she only regained proper cognition when she was on the floor on top of Jeff apparently suffocating him with her recently enlarged mammaries -even then she was barely conscious.

"Wat... what just..." Perish mumbled but kind of swam in and out of consciousness.

[Mizagium]

Jeff couldn't scream. Not that he didn't want to, but suffocation has a way of preventing that. Large necro boob suffocation.

After a moment of frantic flailing about, Jeff managed to achieve a more-or-less stable frame of mind and summoned up his barriers again. He managed to levitate Perish enough to shimmy out from under her, and set her back down.

"Uh...this...I dunno. How long can we keep this slapstick routine up?"

[blazinvire]

Perish had apparently fallen asleep. There was not much else to say, a necromancer who couldn't die from alcohol poisoning and a world that persisted on twirling and spinning about, the epic battle with attempting to not empty her stomach and the frivolous and rather dangerous magic expenditure with equal parts pain and awkward regeneration; a necromancer whose perception of time was almost non-existent to the point she could zone out for a second and a year would pass, and the lack of any real consequences of any of her actions made nothing that urgent or important.
So yes, she had just fallen asleep rather than have to deal with a spinning world and a barrier mage and drunken necromagic. Not like they could kill her even while she was asleep, so no harm in it.

[Calefrun]

"Oh, get a room!" Cetis blinked, realizing that he was able to understand what he had just said. Frustrated, he finished off his mug and got a refill.