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Post by Calefrun on Sept 9, 2013 12:33:41 GMT -5
The Dayman's counterattack had taken Cale off guard, and he had to grab on to the narwhal to keep himself from flying off into the void. He had tried to stand up, but as The Dayman positioned himself for his assault on the Boopen, Cale had to hang on or else be thrown off of the large, flamboyant whale. The Boopen let out a howl of pain after being struck, but continued singing.
"I thought that they were angels, but to my surprise"
Cale managed to climb back on top of the narwhal, and could only look on as the Boopen cringed as its body let out an eerie purple glow.
"We climbed aboard their starship, we headed for the skies"
The pomp that The Dayman had sent into the Boopen was far more than its body could handle, and gashes began opening all over its head and remaining arms which poured out both blue blood and the essence of pomp. The Boopen's end was nigh. It recognized this fact, as did Cale, but it continued using what was left of its energy to sing as it floated away from the other combatants.
"Singing come sail away, come sail away, come sail away with me lads"
A tear rolled down Cale's cheek as he watched the giant squid's wounds continue to worsen. He straightened himself, and saluted his comrade, whose voice was beginning to falter.
"Come sail away, come sail away, come sail away with me"
The Boopen's mantle split horizontally, and with its last breath the creature whispered out,
"Come sail away, come sail away... come sail... away... with....... me........"
before exploding into a million pieces of calamari, which spread throughout the zone The Dayman had created.
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Post by Sariel of Tevet on Sept 9, 2013 17:19:27 GMT -5
The Dayman bent down retrieved a piece of calamari, and began to chew it slowly.
"This...this is exquisite! What a way to remember such an admirable opponent. Welshy! Prepare a memorial. We shall feast upon the the beasts flesh, to his honor."
He pulled a giant table, predecorated and set, and Welshy began to gather up all the calamari and place them into a buffet. The Dayman began to take his fill. He mumbled, with a mouth full of boopen,
"Shall we have a bit of respite? While we snack you ought to find a way to get us out of here Cale, less you want this fight to end in a draw....and our deaths."
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Post by Mizagium on Sept 9, 2013 22:53:33 GMT -5
The Mysterious Benefactor yanked with all his might, but the crystal outgrowth only budged a smidgen. “Are you sure this will work?” he asked, panting, of the Vortex Guardian, who hovered uselessly nearby.
“Yes, master. The very walls of this prison-turned-palace radiate a unique energy signature that weakens all known abilities, including that of Immortals.” He chuckled tonelessly. “How do you think I was able to imprison Aev’Uldron Theska for so long?”
“Fair point.” He heaved again. “Now, would you like to give me a hand, or watch me struggle all day?” Since corrupting it with his Chaos abilities, the Crystallus had drained him of energy still, but less and less. How odd that it should be so easily taken over by the very powers it supposedly nullifies. Something else was at work here, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it.
The Vortex Guardian flew down and took a position opposite his master and began to yank.
“So,” the Mysterious Benefactor continued, “How is it that you had so many breakouts when this placed cancels out all powers? Not that great a prison, eh?”
He could have sworn the Guardian mumbled something. “The longer you stay here, the more it drains you. The deeper you go, the more it drains you. Shoving prisoners in the deepest cells usually did the job, but when someone just bursts in and stages a break…” he shrugged. “And besides. There haven’t been that many breakouts. Only two in the last few hundred years.”
“And yet so close together. Tsk tsk.”
Whatever his response was, the Guardian let it die as the crystal cracked.
“Excellent! Harder!” They pulled and bent and finally, the crystal snapped free, sending them to the floor.
“Told you.” The Vortex Guardian retrieved the crystal and looked it over. “Bit big for a sword.”
“It’s just right. It’s like the ones those kids have on that one cartoon.”
“Which cartoon?”
“I don’t know, something weird.” He waved his hand. “Can you make it?”
“Yes, master.” He started away, but hesitated. “What would you like me to call it?”
“I’ve got a few names…”
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Post by Calefrun on Sept 10, 2013 20:01:30 GMT -5
Cale nodded his appreciation to The Dayman. He approached the table, and picked up a piece of calamari. "Though I knew you for but a short time you were a formidable ally, and this loss brings great sadness to my heart." He ate the calamari, though only that one piece. He had to eat out of respect, but cannibalism was still not okay. Looking around, he saw that The Dayman was correct; the protective barrier of pomp was beginning to fade, threatening to collapse the zone that was keeping everyone safe. Already, some of the few remaining audience members were being pulled into the void. Cale couldn't see any discernible exit, and he was fairly certain that a portal dance wouldn't be able to overcome the power of the Null-Void. "There is one way..." He mumbled while scratching his beard, "But I had really hoped to never have to do that again." Another group of audience members was consumed, and Cale sighed. "Alright, I can get us out of here, but you'll need to stand back." THE ILLUSIVE SQUID THEN BEGAN TO DANCE TO THE BEAT, AND SHUFFLE HIS FEET LIKE HE WAS UP ALL NIGHT TO GET SOME. CALE WAS PERFORMING THE ANCIENT TECHNIQUE KNOWN AS THE DOUGIE. A TROUPE OF BACKUP DANCING BADGERS MATERIALIZED NEARBY, AND ADDED THEIR POWER TO HIS. THE REMAINING CALAMARI FORMED BACK INTO THE SHAPE OF THE BOOPEN, AND BEGAN TO SING THE SONG OF ITS PEOPLE. "WHAT DO WE NEED DREAMS FOR
WHEN YOU GOT THEM JEANS ON
WHAT DO WE NEED STEAM FOR
YOU THE HOTTEST BITCH IN THIS PLACE
I FEEL SO LUCKY
YOU WANNA HUG ME
WHAT RHYMES WITH HUG ME?" AS THE LAST LINE CAME FORTH FROM THE DELICIOUSLY DEAD SQUID'S MOUTH, EVERYONE DISAPPEARED FROM THE NULL-VOID JUST AS THE DAYMAN'S PROTECTIVE PHYSICS ZONE DISSIPATED. WELL, NOT EVERYONE. ONLY THE PEOPLE THAT WERE AT LEAST A SEVEN OUT OF TEN. MAYBE THE SIX POINT FIVES TOO, BUT THEY HAVE TO SIT IN THE BACK WHERE THEY AREN'T BLOCKING THE VIEW OF THE MORE ATTRACTIVE PEOPLE. ALSO NONE OF THE PEOPLE THAT ALREADY GOT PULLED INTO THE VOID. SORRY, CAN'T HELP THEM. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ The chosen ones found themselves in an entirely new arena. The stands resembled those of the first stadium, however the seats were all made of suede and fitted for individuals with perfect asses. In the center, Cale Efrun, the Illusive Squid, and The Dayman found themselves in a large grassy arena containing several trees. Except the trunks of the trees looked like that leg lamp from A Christmas Story. The sky above the arena was bright purple and completely cloudless. Additionally, at the top of the stands sat a giant sphinx wearing sunglasses, which watched over the events transpiring below. Cale let out a sigh of relief as he saw that several people had survived. "Well," he said as he turned back to The Dayman, "I guess we can keep going. Oh, and welcome to Sexy Land." The sphinx roared, and its heavenly voice lovingly penetrated the ears and other orifices of everyone present. |
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Post by Sariel of Tevet on Sept 10, 2013 22:41:49 GMT -5
The Dayman was impressed with his surroundings, he had never felt so truly at home before. He seemed to breathe easier and his actions seems much more effortless. His body had even taken on its own, newly improved shine.
"Sexy land ay? Hmm. I suppose that explains my body's reaction to this place. I am the current vehicle for the sexy force of pomp afterall. Well..."
The Dayman snapped his fingers and removed the inter-dimensional turmoil that surrounded the vertex of his incredibly deep and royal v neck top.
"...If its a sexy fight you want..."
He popped the now exposed zipper and let his v neck top slide apart.
"...then it is a sexy fight you shall get."
He removed his shirt and then dropped it to the ground, where Welshy had caught it before impact and draped it over his arm. The butler stood and waited as The Dayman soon removed his pants as well, and then he returned to the audience.
The Dayman, clad only in his glorious, sparkling, and royal matrimonial codpiece which was accompanied by his infinity belt, stood and took his tradition royal pose and bellowed at Cale.
"Behold, the purest and sexiest form of The Dayman!"
He swaggered over to a nearby provocative leg tree, tapped the kneecap, and a dazzling mist began to fall from the leaves. His perfect royal form began to sparkle in the mist and his muscles glistened as he flexed for all to see. The display was so pure...so irresistible that Prince Elton swooned hard enough for the narwhal he still currently possessed to become impregnated, to eventually birth the royal narwhal offspring of the Koosalagoopagoopakuzbekistanahamas family. Diane, graceful as she is, fainted for two and a half seconds before regaining her footing, and the heavens themselves above sexy land let out a high pitched, ontological squee.
"You, Cale Efron, shall never overcome true love! Those rings shall be mine, and mine alone!"
He began to charge himself again with the power of pomp, the electricity evaporated the water and steam began to rise from The Dayman's physique, bringing back his natural luster. He placed a hand on the thigh of the tree and pulsed his energy through it. The tree was forced to comply with the prince's orders, and immediately uprooted itself and flew at Cale, heel first.
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Post by Calefrun on Sept 11, 2013 21:29:03 GMT -5
Cale sidestepped the tree, drew one of his swords, and cut the legtree longways up the middle, leaving the trunk connected near the upper thigh. The two parts of the tree each formed into a separate leg, and the plant landed upright and re-rooted itself. "Love, eh?" Cale sheathed his sword and turned so that he was once again facing his opponent. "A powerful force indeed, if not a fleeting one. I suppose I will have to start taking this fight seriously, if that is your motivation." As if on queue, the sphinx opened its gorgeous mouth and began to sing the most beautiful and appropriate song anyone had ever heard. "Ooooohh you touch my tralala...
Mmmmm my ding ding dong...." As the Great Sexy One sang and his mad beats filled the air, a small ball of energy appeared about a foot away from its mouth and began slowly growing. Cale reached into his jacket pocket and tossed the last of its contents into his mouth. Instantly the tie around his hair and tentacles broke, and the now unrestrained locks and appendages began to flow in an unseen breeze. Of course, The Dayman could probably feel the breeze pretty well. Despite the fact that Cale was still wearing a jacket, his muscles bulged to the point of being easily visible beneath his clothing. "NOW THEN," he declared, "THE BATTLE TRULY BEGINS!" He transformed his swords back into their gun forms and dove behind the nearest tree. He peeked out and started firing at The Dayman, each shot being charged with caffeinated energy. |
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Post by Sariel of Tevet on Sept 11, 2013 22:00:20 GMT -5
The Dayman began to sprint behind the leg tree line and the bullets began to riddle their thighs, ripping holes into their stockings. Crouched behind a nearby leg, his rippling royal body pressed against its skin, he began to look around for a suitable escape as the projectiles pelted his hideout. Off in the distance...something caught his eye, and he took off in a glorious display of royal endurance.
Moments later, The Dayman emerged from the sexy tree line at full tilt, running directly at Cale. Caffeine fueled bullets flew directly into his path, but he simply pulled out two, overtly phallic, three foot long mushrooms, and began to deflect the bullets.
Diane gasped. "Are...are those..."
Prince Elton dispossessed the narwhal, leaving it to its pregnancy, and floated over to Diane. He tensed his body and squee'd.
"Yes...yes they are!"
The Dayman continued to deflect the caffeinated bullets, closed in on Cale, and began to swing at him in a furious dildo sword assault.
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Post by Calefrun on Sept 14, 2013 18:32:27 GMT -5
Cale quickly changed his weapons back into swords and blocked the dildo attack. "You're resourceful, I'll give you that! I've seen the dildoshrooms used in many ways, but never as a weapon!" He leapt a short distance back and brandished his blades. "Well, you know what the say. If you can't beat them off, join them!" His swords glowed for a brief instant, then shaped themselves into a pair of dildoshrooms. "Have at thee!" He began a furious counter-assault, and managed to push The Dayman back until he was up against a legtree. The ball of energy in front of the shpinx had increased greatly in size and power, and a second one was begining to form nearby. "Deep in the night...
I'm looking for some fun.
Deep in the night...
I'm looking for some love." Commander Lobster wasn't sure if he should keep watching or look away. "I... what the actual fuck?" |
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Post by Sariel of Tevet on Sept 17, 2013 23:07:09 GMT -5
The Dayman slammed his brawny back into the legtree. The fishnet stockings got hung up on his codpiece when he attempted to roll away, and they ripped.
Hmmm. That gives me an idea. I don't need to run...I just need A run.
The Dayman slashed the stocking with the dildoshroom, the vibration send a shiver up the legtree and it began to pour again, drenching the combatants. He tore the fishnet higher and higher until he, not too ironically, began to wrap it around Cale and trap him in the net. He walked around to the back of Cale and lowered a dildoshroom, and with a royal rape face, he bellowed,
"Now, would you like to surrender before I......penetrate your defenses?"
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Post by Calefrun on Sept 19, 2013 20:43:33 GMT -5
By this point both of the sphinx's balls had grown tremendously, and looked to be close to the point of bursting. Still he continued singing, and the energy balls started to shine brightly, signaling that they were fully charged. "De-de-de-deep in the night...
I'm looking for some fun.
Deep in the night...
I'm looking for some-" The noise emanating from the glowing spheres before him then grew to a point where they were beginning to drown out the sphinx's mighty voice. "OH COME ON NOW," Cale yelled above the racket, "EVEN BY MY STANDARDS THIS IS GETTING A LITTLE WEIRD. ALSO, I THINK YOU MIGHT BE FORGETTING SOMETHING." His body shone brightly for a moment, and in a split-second he grew into a giant rock monster, breaking apart the net in the process. "YOU WANT PENETRATION? WELL I'M ROCK HARD NOW, AND IT'S TIME FOR A GOOD OLD-FASHIONED FISTING!" And with that he brought his enormous fists down like a pair of boulders on a direct collision course with The Dayman's head. The one between his shoulders. |
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Post by Sariel of Tevet on Sept 19, 2013 20:59:04 GMT -5
The Dayman, with reflexes that rival his royal beauty, managed to fall backwards onto the ground and opened his belt. Cale's rock hard appendage was sucked into the spacious void and stopped at the shoulders. Astonished and entirely relieved, The Dayman tensed his body and wiped the sweat from his royal brow.
"Gods, I can't believe your entire fist fit in there quite so easily! I suppose over the years I have pulled quite a few large objects out of there, perhaps I shouldn't be so surprised that you slipped right in."
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Post by Calefrun on Sept 19, 2013 22:09:37 GMT -5
Cale tried to pull his arm back out, but The Dayman's belt wouldn't give. He tried changing back into his real form, and immediately the belt sucked in the rest of his body. As he was pulled in, he grabbed The Dayman by the codpiece and dragged him in as well, and when it was all over both of the combatants had disappeared. Commander Lobster scratched the top of his head. "Wha-" He was cut off by the reinvigorated and significantly louder singing of the sphinx. "You tease me,
Oh please me,
I want you to be my love-toy,
Come near me,
Don't fear me,
I'VE HAD JUST ABOUT ENOUGH OF YOU BOYS." At that moment the sphinx blew its energy load, and the two spheres flew into the arena. When they impacted, there was a massive blast of sexy energy which was so dense that it destroyed everything within the arena. A shockwave rippled through the stands, and all at once they fell apart. The spectators fell for a while, but then landed in a new seating area. Or rather, an old one. Everyone was once again within Mount Wedding Ring, in the second arena. The floating stands which Cale had destroyed had now returned, though instead of the prism there was now a flat, circular, floating platform made of stone, which was about twenty feet in diameter. Atop it stood Cale and The Dayman. "All right," Cale said in a tone which sounded far more serious than any he had used at any other point in this fight, "I'm getting tired of this. Let's finish it for real this time. And like gentlemen." He holstered his weapons, and began to flex. His shirt and coat exploded, revealing his 42 pack of abs. Exerting a large amount of control, he retracted them back into just a twelve pack so that he could display his rippling pecs and huge biceps. Finally, he raised his fists in a guarded stance towards The Dayman. "Come at me." |
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Post by Sariel of Tevet on Sept 19, 2013 23:50:10 GMT -5
"Fisticuffs ay? What a pleasant surprise from you Cale. Truly such a manly sport can only be exemplified by our royal status. Alright, I accept."
The Dayman raised his fists and began to step over towards Cale.
"I haven't had a bout of fisticuffs since my grandfather took me boxing down the alleyways of Southyros. Those filthy hobos never saw it coming. However."
He dropped his guard and placed his hands by his side.
"I am afraid I have some business to take care of first."
He reached into his belt and pulled out a peculiar looking time piece. He wound the watch forward the equivalent of five days, and clicked the top back into place. Time began to warp around The Dayman as his body began to age by five days, resulting in an exquisite handlebar mustache to be situated atop his royal upper lip.
"Now! The fight may truly begin."
He stepped forward to Cale and leaned in for a hard pressed jab.
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Post by Calefrun on Sept 21, 2013 19:06:55 GMT -5
"Y!" Cale yelled as he raised his hands up to block. "ABBAAABAABAAABAAB" He let loose a flurry of blows, some relatively weak and others strong. "DO U EVEN LIFT? FITE ME IRL!"
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Post by Sariel of Tevet on Sept 22, 2013 14:18:58 GMT -5
The Dayman kept his guard up, back peddling after the furious strikes from Cale. His heel slipped off the edge of the arena, sending crumbling rock down into the lake of lava. Off balance and bearings lost, The Dayman began to swing with no particular purpose. It was enough to cause Cale to step aside and The Dayman began to take hold of the match. Strike after strike fell upon Cale's body. Such powerful royal blows had not been seen for centuries, and they crashed into abs with such purpose and royal prowess that one by one, strike after strike, they blipped out of existence. The Dayman was reverting Cale back to his normal unripped form and bringing the match to an obvious close.
The Dayman reared back for a hay-maker, swung wide, and smashed Cale just under the jaw and causing his knees to give out and he fell onto his back.
"At last, with your defeat, true royal love is one step closer to prevailing."
The Dayman loomed over Cale and eyed the struggling foe.
"All I have to do is end this fight, take care of Hioma, and the wedding may finally continue."
He began to unclasp his codpiece.
"Now for a royal end, befitting a royal foe."
The Dayman removed his codpiece, revealing all of his royal and pompous glory, and raised it high above his head.
"It is time, friend."
The Dayman, with a royal battle cry, brought the codpiece down with all the strength he could conjure, and crashed it onto Cale's head, where he left it, as a symbol of the royal defeat.
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Post by Calefrun on Sept 22, 2013 14:48:36 GMT -5
Click! The telltale sound of a hammer being cocked echoed throughout the volcano.
"Sorry, friend. I have to admit, skilled as I may be in armed combat, you've got me beat in arm combat. Still, I would think you would have known not to leave the royal gems undefended." He prodded The Dayman with the barrel of his pistol for emphasis. "I realize you may very well lose all respect for me... but I need those rings. And now it seems I've got you... by the balls."
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Post by Sariel of Tevet on Sept 22, 2013 15:00:28 GMT -5
The Dayman, looked down upon his coin purse in disbelief. He shuttered at the thought of being bejeweled. He coughed and began to tense his tackles as they began to glow with the fantastic purple color of pomp.
"Mere bullets cannot castrate my cranberries friend. I have made them bulletproof with the powers of pomp!"
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Post by Calefrun on Sept 22, 2013 15:17:01 GMT -5
Cale swatted the codpiece off of his face so that he could observe the present state of affairs. "So you have. Escalation it is, then." His arm and firearm melded together, and took the form of an armed nuclear catapult. "Surrender, unless you want to be sterile for multiple reasons."
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Post by Sariel of Tevet on Sept 22, 2013 15:21:11 GMT -5
The Dayman, truly disappointed...shook his head at Cale.
"You threaten my royal package with sterility? Have you no decency? No honor? Don't you realize that residing within my crotch is a potential royal lineage. Would you truly be willing to make that sacrifice? To snuff out those lives not yet granted a chance? Abort. Abort this task Cale. Or do you truly mean to make such a sacrifice to win this battle?"
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Post by Calefrun on Sept 22, 2013 15:26:11 GMT -5
Cale raised his other weapon, and transformed it to match the first. "Sorry, but I can't go against the will of the Council. This isn't anything personal. Now I will ask you one more time. Please, surrender."
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