Northyros: March of the Death-Mammoths

[Mizagium]

Jeff threw up a barrier around the location the intrepid party had chosen for cover while Vi’ir joined Magnus in examining Ash. “What’s happening to him?” the young mage asked seriously, pointedly not looking at the Rainbow Mammoth Elton. “I not a healer, exactly, but I can probably summon some spirits that are.”

“This is getting out of hand,” Jeff muttered. Not that he wasn’t accustomed to adventures rapidly spiraling out of control by now, but this wasn’t the good kind. Centros had become a great, if contained, battle that ravaged the town it had been fought to protect. Back then, he was still semi-eager to explore this new world. Southryos had…become insane almost immediately. He didn’t like to think about Southryos. Essos had actually been fun, if drawn out. And relatively harmless. Relatively. But this. This was getting serious. One of their allies was missing; murderous pachyderms were roaming the land; his sister had magically reappeared; and now Ash was afflicted with…something that made Magnus worry.

He added a few layers to the barrier, becoming increasingly concerned that he was not the main character of this story.

-

While thankful for the assistance, Samantha wasn’t exactly comfortable playing on a team. Her next prepared skills weren’t particularly safe for multiple allies. Grumbling, she cycled through her prepared list.

“That’s a good one,” she muttered. “Hard Light Shackles!” But it didn’t do what Samantha thought it would. A four-post bed king-sized bed appeared in the room. A chain of light snaked out from each post and snapped at the Archmage’s limbs, pulling him spread-eagled onto the bed.

“Er. Whoops.” Samantha blushed. “That, ah, that wasn’t meant for him…”

-

Twisted Gambit frowned at Jack. Uno Momento was something, but this man… “How do you have this?” he demanded. “Those cards…that is my family’s power.” He turned back to Uno. “Thieves, the lot of you. Robbing the dead of their power…very well. If it’s a game you want, a game you’ll get.”

He stepped a ways back, creating a roughly equidistant gap between them all. Still empowered with Exaggeration, he looked fizzing awesome doing it. He’d let that power linger as long as it could, hopefully giving him a general boost during the upcoming fight.

“Draw!” He pulled another card from his belt-deck and grinned. “Well, how about that. ‘Cosmic-Electric Manipulation.’ Guess there’s no such thing as pacing here.” The card dissipated and he felt the power fill him.

Without wasting time, he activated the power, drawing down a bolt of pure cosmic plasma from beyond the atmosphere, empowered with the ambient cosmic energies left over from the moment of creation. He didn’t let it touch him though, instead, he spun it around himself, creating a cracking plasma barrier – and then lanced out two bolts, one for Uno Momento, and one for Jack O’Spades.

-

Gallen Kah breathed deeply and slowly. Behind him, Bill Nye snickered. Vespi sighed and began massaging her temples. “Congratulations, Felix,” the Order Immortal said through gritted teeth. “You’re now in charge of this fine establishment,” He gestured tellingly at Heroes’ Refuge. “Now then, Commander Felix, I request an audience with about the orderly removal of your troops from this area.”

[Monika]

Community adjusted her nonprescription glasses as she stared down at the scene below her. "Are they...drawing cards?" she thought aloud, descending slightly to get a better look at the field. She just narrowly avoided a bolt of cosmic lightning from the heavens and frowned as her suspicions were confirmed. Her father, Chance Chest III, had warned her about this type of situation. There would eventually come a time when she would meet people with similar card-based powers. Chance made it very clear that such people were infringing upon at least four different magical patents owned by the Chest family and were to be killed on sight.

She sighed heavily, ejecting a card from her arm bracer. Community normally made it a point not to involve herself in random street brawls and would have been content to let the three kill each other as she continued on her own mission. But family business was family business, and she had done enough disobeying as of late. She looked over the card and chuckled, assuming that would be the right reaction for this situation. The card had a surprisingly detailed sketch of a hydroelectric plant and was captioned, 'The works of water. Electric power. Gain mastery of both, and your foes will cower.'

"It's not too often I get the perfect card at the start of a battle," she noted. "Fortune herself must want me to defend my family's intellectual property." Taking this bit of good luck as a sign to enter the fray, she held the card out in front of her and muttered "Activate!", letting the magic take control.

The two bolts of lightning Twisted Gambit had intended for Uno Momento and Jack O'Spades changed course instantly, flying toward Community and contorting around her until they formed an electric shield. She silently descended to the ground, calmly walked up behind Twisted Gambit, and pressed her hands against his plasma barrier, letting its energy flow through her body. After absorbing a significant amount of electricity and leaving her target sufficiently barrierless, she whispered into his ear, "I don't know what kind of game you and your friends here think you're playing, but you're in violation of nearly half a dozen international copyright laws. I can't let that slide."

In one swift motion she drew her dagger and swung it toward Twisted Gambit's neck, letting excess electricity flow through it to increase its lethality.

[Mizagium]

Allowing electricity to flow through the dagger was a mistake, Twisted Gambit thought with a wry twist of his mouth – even in that instant between the thrust of the dagger and when it connected with his neck…or didn’t.

Community might have stolen the cosmic electricity he had called down, but that didn’t mean she had stolen his power. The cosmic lightning coursing through him produced a magnetic field as a byproduct – as did the electricity she exuded. All Twisted Gambit had to do was align the polarities in such a way that…the dagger came to a sudden halt, the point mere fractions of centimeters from his skin. All that had been done in nearly an instant, but it felt a lost closer.

“Mighty fine work,” he commended with a tip of his hat. Slowly, he increased the power of the magnetic field and pushed the dagger away from him, fighting against the lighting and Community’s own strength. “But I’m afraid I got no beef with you, little lady. I didn’t steal nothing. These powers…well…these cards. They been in my family for generations. So you’ll have to excuse me if I don’t put much stock into your threats.”

Finally, he pushed her aside altogether. Not roughly (he was a gentleman, after all) but enough that she was no longer an immediate threat. He fixed his hat again and called down more lighting, cursing silently that he had lost the first strike advantage. Now he was prepared for a more defensive stance, weaving the cosmic lighting around him.

[Calefrun]

Jack grimaced. It seemed as though the two of them had completely forgotten about him and the other guy the second they set their sights on each other. And he didn't like being ignored. He flipped his card so that he was able to see its face, then shrugged. This power wasn't as showy as magic lightning, but it would do.

Before Community Chest or Twisted Gambit were able to strike again, they suddenly both found themselves paralyzed. Jack crossed his arms and confidently strode between the two of them. "I, since you so kindly didn't ask, am Jack O. Spades." He turned to face Community and added, "But you can just call me Jack. And don't think that this guy" (he emphasized that he was referring to Twisted Gambit by pointing a thumb over his shoulder) "speaks for all of us. I AB-SO-LUTELY stole these cards! And this hat! And the jacket! Honestly, I don't even remember at this point, but the pants probably weren't even mine originally, either." He scratched his chin, then hastily added, "Don't worry though; I bought my boxers fresh. With money that I stole."

He laughed, then continued, "Anywho, I've never been caught before. Not even the time that I stole an emperor's mustache right out from under his nose! Ha, you should have seen the look on his hairless face! Sorry, getting sidetracked again. Look, the point is... actually, I forgot where I was going with this. So how about I just turn on the pain now, yeah?"

Using the Spine Manipulation power that had allowed him to paralyze them, he sent an intense stabbing pain up both of their nervous systems. Let's see them ignore me now!

[Myrdraxxis]

Zento's attack hit home...but met resistance as another shell of pure Darkness sprung up around the Archmage to protect him.

The man let an arrogant grin slip onto his face...right before Samantha's attack grabbed him and strapped him to the bed.

"...Okay I will admit that's never happened before." The Archmage said, actually a but thrown off by the "attack". "He deadpanned at Samantha. "I'm flattered Magister but really, let's show a little bit of professionalism here." He conjured more inky wells of darkness around him, which began taking shape. They formed into large midnight-colored blades that slashed the air as they scythed towards Zento and Samantha respectively.

The Archmage remained shackled to the bed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I...I have no idea what's wrong with him." Magnus admitted, gritting his teeth as he bent down and examined Ash. The mooketeer was writhing on the ground. The original wound where the Archmage had stabbed him wasn't bleeding, but the foul darkness that the villain had utilized seemed to well up out of the wound. And as Magnus looked closer he could see dark veins running along Ash's skin outward from the wound.

"Shit." Magnus said. "Codex." He pulled the tome out of his jacket. "Thoughts?"

"Hmmm, an infection of some kind, for sure." came the book's reply, voice for once deadly serious. "I don't think we've encountered this substance before though...."

"Whatever it is, it's killing him." Septimus said, kneeling down.

"We have to do something, then!" Desmond added.

"What can we do? Is anyone here actually a healer?" Leske asked. Magnus hummed.

"I know a few healing spells..." He raised a hand and soft green light glowed from it. After a moment he stopped. There was a pause that was then punctuated by another gasp of pain from Ash. "Damn it! Not working." Magnus growled.

"It's spreading fast." Septimus noted.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Felix stared at Gallen as his brain processed those words. "Oh..no. No!" He said after a moment. "Nonononononon." He shook his head repeatedly for emphasis. "Look guy, I can't just...I'm not even a mage, much less a magister. No one in there would listen to me." He pointed back towards Hero's Refuge. "And they'd just plain kill me for saying we should just up and leave. We're in the middle of a conquest here, y'know."

He glanced around, looking for a way out. Hmm maybe if he could get a headstart running towards the treeline...

[Sariel of Tevet]

The Dayman began to stride into his royal paces. The plight of a commoner typically never concerns him, but fortunately for Ash he was close to Magnus.

"As leader of The Magnus Royalty Procurement Brigade Squad Team! It is my duty to help those in Magnus' care."

He opened the buckle of his infinity belt and offered the very universe to Magnus.

"Anything you need or anywhere we need to go, just say the word. "

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Uno Momento, left out of the paralyzing attack tip his sombrero down over his eyes and paused with his hand on the first card.

"I suppose, introductions are in order, as the rest of you are doing them. That is, if you live long enough to hear it. Now..."

He tilted his head backwards so his gaze could reach the others behind his hat.

"Uno Momento, por favor."

He winked and took a moment to draw his card.

"Ahhh. Attack Movement Manipulation. Perfecto."

The card glowed and disappeared into his discard pile, and the attack sent out by Jack had transferred back onto himself, while the one over Twisted Gambit remained intact. Community had been released entirely and Uno walked into the midst of the group. He tipped his sombrero at Jack as he passed.

"Looks like a queso bad judgement on your part there, friend, leaving me out of your attack like that. I don't know which is worse."

He had made his way up to Community and taken her hand.

"Leaving me be, or.."

He brought her hand up to his lips and kissed it.

"Or harming such a..treasure, me gusta. "

He released her hand and took his hat off, he was in the presence of a lady, after all.

"My dear, would you not prefer to skip the repetition of yet another bandito character kidnapping a young seniorita and tying her to the railroad tracks? Come away with me before these two are released and my card runs out of macheesemo. "

[Monika]

Be tied to the railroad tracks? This man clearly does not know who my family is, Community thought. As much as she would have liked to have killed Uno Momento where he stood, the fact that he was showing romantic interest in her was something she could use to her advantage. So, rather than end what to her was little more than a weird courting ritual, she put on her most convincing smile and softened her tone.

"Ah, Señor Momento, I am truly flattered," she replied. "I've never been approached like that before. Men these days are sorely lacking in chivalry." As she said this, she gestured toward the paralyzed Twisted Gambit and Jack O. Spades, sighing with mock disappointment. "Like those two. They have stolen from my family, and I would be overwhelmed with sorrow if I left while such a crime went unpunished. But..."

She turned back toward Uno and gently caressed his cheek. "If you will help me get rid of them, I could finally be done with my family business, and we could run away together and live out our days in happiness. So..." She fell into Uno's arms and purred into his ear. "Will you help me?"

The clouds over Gambit and Jack lit up with all the colors of the rainbow before dumping a cascade of multicolored lightning bolts onto them.

Let's see them dodge that...

[Mizagium]

Somehow, Twisted Gambit managed to hang onto the swirling vortex of electrical energy even as Jack sent jolt of pain up through his spine. He remembered learning that all nervous impulses in the body were really just a form of electricity jumping between neurons and synapses. So all that cosmic electricity he had taken back from the flying lady - he absorbed all of it into his body. The sudden rush of electricity overrode the pain impulses and allowed him to regain control in time to see the rainbow lighting descending upon the battlefield. He redirected it around himself, giving him enough time to draw a new card.

"Well, as fun as tossing lighting back and forth is, I'm afraid it's time to switch things up a bit.

He didn't frown at the new card, but he didn't exactly smile. "Magnetic Projectile," he muttered. "Fine." So he dug through his pocket and produced two coins and held one in each hand, like he was going to flip them. "I didn't steal nothing from nobody," he declared. "So I'd like to know how you all can do what I can!"

Without waiting for a response, or perhaps to show he meant business, Twisted Gambit shot the coins at the flying lady and at Jack, each one imbued with enough electromagnetic energy that they both qualified as railguns.

-

"Move aside." Vespi pried Gallen away from Felix and took his place. Being that she was made of living fire, perhaps she'd be a little more persuasive. "Alright, look kid. I get that you don't have any say here and whatever, but here's the thing. We're all stupidly powerful. Like...ridiculous. So, yeah, this force here might put up a good fight, but in the end, we're going to win. But we're trying a different approach right now. A less violent one."

She moved closer so he could feel the heat she was radiating, could see the flames begin to wind their way along the ground around him. "So tell me, are you going to get out of our way, or am I going to have to boil your brain from the inside of your skull!"

Somewhere behind her, Bill Nye sighed into his hand.

-

Maybe it was the embarrassment of the Hard Light Shackles. Maybe it was years of simmering hatred for the Archmage. Or maybe it was the years of wandering around in worlds that were not her own. Samantha Valentie wasn't sure exactly what made her do what she did next. But she closed her prescripted attacks and instead used her OCD to begin analyzing the World Code of the Archmage, the fundamental bits and pieces of information that made him up. She watched it scroll past while Diane and Zento distracted the tied up man. Her TUCAN churned steadily as it dissected the Code and formulated a proper mode of attack.

It went quickly enough, and in less than a minute she had a string of code which was was able to insert into his own. "There, Archmage. I doubt you saw what I did, but I just inserted a World Code string into you - into your very makeup. In about thirty seconds, the very essence of who you are should start to unravel. I've turned your own body and mind against itself. I've never done this before, so I hope being torn apart from the sub-molecular level won't be too painful."

-

[Calefrun]

Zento wasn't entirely sure what Samantha was doing to the Archmage, but it didn't make much of a difference. All that mattered was that, between being strapped to a bed and having some weird magic used on him, it seemed unlikely that the man would be able to avoid another of his attacks.

He jumped onto the bed, standing with one foot on either side of the Archmage's torso, then broght his blade down, stabbing directly at the Archmage's heart.

---

Dorrei thought for a moment, then shook her head. "I'll summon some Squid healers, and they can be here within half an hour, but I don't know if they can do anything about... whatever this is. And at the rate it's spreading... something needs to be done now."

---

As soon as Jack's attack was reflected back to him, he manipulated his own spine in order to cancel it out. He noticed the clouds begin to change colors, and drew his next card. He glanced at it briefly, and his confident grin suddenly transformed into a scowl.

"Son of a taint." He dove just as the lightning struck, but was unable to avoid being hit by a couple of bolts. He fell onto a hard patch of ice, and the pain from the magical lightning coursed through his body. By complete happenstance, he looked down and saw his reflection in the ice. "Damn, I'm looking good today!" Immediately all of the pain subsided, and any burn wounds he may have incurred completely healed.

He popped back up to his feet, and his smile reappeared just as quickly as it had vanished. "Hey, I'm alive! I bet you're all shocked, right? What, just me?" He made a finger-gun gesture towards the others, and in that instant anyone that looked at him was cured of any and all wounds and ailments.

[Myrdraxxis]

"I have no idea if any of that will work." Magnus sighed. "If healing magic doesn't work..."

"It might be able to be contained though." Septimus mused aloud. Magnus glanced over at him.

"Meaning?"

"It's an infection right?" Both glanced back down at Ash. It certainly looked like an infection. A rapidly mutating infection. Ash had always been a darker skinned person. but where he had been wounded his skin was black. Unnaturally. The discolouration was spreading rapidly up his arm and shoulder as well. Strange wisps of dark smoke rose off of the infected skin. It was...ominous. "I could possibly slea off what's already infected. It won't heal it but...it could stop it from getting any worse."

Magnus frowned at his former pupil. "How?"

Septimus cleared his throat uncomfortably. "I...have my ways. Spirit healing techniques are my family's specialty after all."

Magnus stared at him for a long moment then nodded. "Alright do it."

Septimus nodded and knelt down beside Ash. He inhaled. 'Eldrin?'

The familiar ghost appeared beside him. "Oho, finally taking me up on that offer hmmm?" the spectre grinned.

"Only partially. You can halt this, yes?" Septimus answered.

"It's nasty stuff, Darkness. But yes, it is within my power to contain its effects."

"Then do it."

Eldrin grinned wider and then stepped into Septimus. The magister jerked in place for a moment before calming himself. He rested a hand over Ash and began chanting.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Archmage gasped as Zento's attack drove home, spearing him through the heart. He opened his mouth and screamed wordlessly for a long moment. Then He began shaking as Samantha's spell took effect.

The Archmage began to literally dissolve before their eyes.

THe last bits of his body faded from existence.

Then the sound of slow clapping filled the room.

"That was pretty impressive." THe ceiling overhead suddenly darkened. Literally. Darkness pooled above them then began to pour downward into human shape. The Archmage appeared, grinning. "Would have killed any normal person." His grin became colder.

'But then, I'm not very normal. Or even a person, really."

The Archmage's cloack parted as tendrils of Darkness shot out of the Archmage's body, spearing towards Zento and Samantha.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was immidiate death or death later. Given the choice Felix decided that he might as well take these strange people to his commanding officers. Maybe they'd kill each other off or at least completely forget about Felix.

One could only hope. Felix led them further into the ruined town, drawing curious looks from the other soldiers.

"Private Felix, what is this?" He jumped slightly at the barking question. Ah, they were near the command tents now. The higher-ups were there and most had taken notice. He gulped.

"Right uh, these people uh....they uh want us to leave. Withdraw from Centros. Also they put me in charge."

There was a long moment of silence in the camp.

Then everyone started laughing.

[Sariel of Tevet]

"Of course I shall help you, senorita. It is what I do the best, the ladies, they cannot resist help from a man like myself."

Uno, who apparently had not been targeted, watched as the railgun coins flew towards Community. He pushed her out of the way, knocking them both backwards in opposite direction. He saw Twisted Gambit attacking them and placed a hand on his bandolier.

"I must draw a card that allows me to strike back, so that I may steal the..I mean win the girl."

He drew and was quite surprised.

"Life Aspect Manifestation...I may not have to steal the girl after all. Only her heart."

Uno threw the life aspect manifestation card at Community and it struck her in the chest. A heart appeared on the surface of the card, and then it disappeared back into his deck.

"Let's see what happens when I imbue her with the life aspect of love."

[Monika]

Sarina had her gaze fixed on Septimus and Ash. For a moment she wondered if she could just amputate Ash's arm with her fledgling Chaos powers and stop the infection from spreading that way. When Septimus mentioned his spirit healing abilities, however, she conceded that that method was considerably less risky. Eyes still glued to the operation, taking in as many of the details as possible, Sarina was startled when her cell phone started playing a non-copyright infringing substitute of the Imperial March.

"What in the world?" Hastily grabbing the phone from her pocket, she pressed it to her ear and answered. "L-Lord Veralice?!"

"Hey, Sarina! How are you?" It was everyone's favorite game show host, tournament announcer, businessman, and general troublemaker Leon on the other line. "You on your second date with Jeff yet?"

Sarina fell silent and felt her cheeks redden. Most of her interactions with Leon had been between her childhood and the War of Four Kings. He had undergone quite the personality shift in those years, so she was never able to tell whether he was serious or joking. After a while, she hesitantly answered, "N-No, sir. We are a bit busy at the moment."

"Getting busy with your boyfriend?" Leon asked, chuckling. "Didn't mean to interrupt."

There was more silence, and Sarina could tell the blush was deepening. "N-Not like that, Lord Veralice!" she said, flustered. "I mean, we're adventuring right now, not-"

"Relax, Sarina. I'm only teasing you. Anyway I need your help with something."

She let out a sigh of relief. "Anything, sir," she replied, eager to change the subject.

"What's the last attack you saw?" Leon asked.

Sarina raised an eyebrow. "I'm...not sure I understand."

"See, I'm about to get into a battle, and I'm trying to think of a good move to start off with. Since you're out there adventuring, I thought maybe you had seen a cool technique. Something flashy or dangerous."

"Hmm." Sarina thought for a moment. In her short time in Cardinalos, she had seen several fights and witnessed quite a few techniques. The most recent one, though? "Let's see...The last attack I saw..." She continued to think, glancing back up at Septimus. He was using his spirit healing powers, but those didn't really count as an attack. "Well," she finally answered, "there was this woman. Samantha, if I recall correctly. She and the rest of us were fighting a sorcerer known as the Archmage. He proved to be too powerful for most of us, so we left Samantha to deal with him on her own. Right before we left, she started fiddling with her glasses, and suddenly hundreds of light spears were upon the sorcerer. I was barely able to dodge and escape with my life. The technique was certainly flashy, and didn't seem to care one way or the other about collateral damage."

"Sounds perfect!" Leon replied, a little too excitedly. "So, what was the attack called?"

"Well, she didn't say it out loud, but I did manage to catch a glimpse of her glasses before we fled. There was a menu screen, and I believe the text said 'Brilliant Lancer Overdrive'." Sarina listened to Leon repeat the words after her, and then a swooshing sound came through the phone, as if he were swinging a sword. Then there was an unmistakable twinkling sound, identical to the one she had heard mere moments before when Samantha had used the attack. Sarina's eyes widened as she realized Leon had duplicated the technique from a description alone.

"Excellent," Leon said. "Thanks much, Sarina. You go on and have more fun adventures with your boyfriend, alright?"

The blush returned to Sarina's face. This time, however, she could confirm that Leon was still teasing her, so she took an action that would be unacceptable in any other circumstances and simply hung up the phone. "Goodbye, Lord Veralice."

---

Community choked out a harsh, ragged breath as the card struck her. Her skin became even paler than usual. She clutched her chest and doubled over in pain, certain that the effects of Uno's card shouldn't have hurt that much, if at all.

Right. This is because I don't have a soul, isn't it? Without a soul, I can't really do that whole 'love' thing. And if I can't do that, then trying to be imbued with love won't work. My body is reacting like it's some kind of poison.

"Damn it," she muttered, ripping her arm away from her chest just long enough to forcibly drag a card from her arm bracer. "Please be...something good." She flipped the card over and nodded. "Fortune is on my side today, isn't she? Activate!"

In a flash of light, an almost inhumanly handsome man with a white coat and headlight appeared in front of her. "Well, well. You've gotten yourself in quite the bind, haven't you, Community?" he asked softly, looking at the woman with an eerie mix of lust and concern.

"Just do your job, Doctor," she growled. "And fast."

"Always just so impatient, aren't you?" He chuckled, withdrawing a syringe from his coat pocket. "I suppose you'll be wanting the usual, then?"

"It'd be nice."

"You will have to pay the fee, you know. I can't just give out medication for free."

"Really, Doctor? You're going to make me..." She winced and took a deep breath. "You're going to make me pay you...right now?"

"Rules are rules, Community," the man replied matter-of-factly. "The patriarch knew what he was getting himself into when he made a pact with a demon physician. You should talk to him if you want the rules changed."

"Grandpa Chance is long dead..."

The man clicked his tongue. "He sure is, isn't he? What a shame. Now, go on and fetch my payment. And you should be quick about it. You look like you could die at any second."

Community wanted to say something else, but there was simply no more time to push the issue. Grudgingly, she marched over to Uno as quickly as she could. Still clutching her chest with one hand, she used the other to pull down his bandana, grab his face, and press his lips against hers.

"Ah. Young love is such a beautiful thing." Doctor licked his lips as he watched the scene unfold, recording the scene with a small camera he had taken from his pocket. "Of course, your love isn't genuine, is it? The Chest Family is incapable of such emotions. But the fee has been paid. I'll hold up my end of the deal." Suddenly, Doctor was no longer recording the kiss from afar, but instead right behind Community, his fingers pressed up against her neck.

"This'll hurt just a bit. But you know that already, don't you?" The physician plunged the syringe into one of Community's veins, injecting her with some mysterious serum.

The medication took effect instantly. Her skin returned to its normal shade of pale, and she broke away from the kiss, reassuming her usual perfect posture.

"You remember the effects, right?" Doctor asked.

"Of course." Community nodded. "Complete and total invincibility."

"Excellent. Enjoy it while it lasts. See you soon, Community." And he was gone.

"You're going to pay for that." In one swift motion, she thrust her hand inside her longcoat, equipped herself with a set of brass knuckles, and punched Uno with enough force to send him flying backward. "Hate to break it to you, but as Doctor said, that love thing won't really work on me. But that doesn't mean I won't punish you for trying!" She removed two revolvers from holsters concealed by her coat, firing one at Uno Momento and the other at Twisted Gambit, reasoning that Jack's current power wasn't much of a threat.

[Mizagium]

Vespi and the others suffered the laughter for a few moments before she declared, “Alright, nerds. You asked for it.” Fire billowed to life in her hands, but before she could start hurling it into the camp, something moving caught her attention. It was roughly man-shaped, but considerably larger. Every step was a thunderous affair. Thick, rough-spun pants adorned his lower half, and were covered with some kind of course brown hair. She couldn’t see his feet below the hem of the pants. His torso was bare, however, dark-skinned and looked rough like a man who’d seen many battles. An impossibly large sword was slung across his shoulders. The hair on his head was of the same thick, course brown that made up his pants, though considerably shaggier. Most strikingly, one large tusk-like tooth jutted out of his mouth, so that his lips had to curl unnaturally around it, giving him a perpetual sneer.

Two guards approached him, still trying to wipe the laughter off their faces when he swung that sword so fast it was almost imperceptible. The men stopped, a confused look on each face before they slumped to the ground, clutching their chests, which bore no wounds.

“I ain’t here for you small fry,” he declared in a low rumble. Then he pointed across the camp in the general direction of the Immortals (and Felix) and said, “I want that one.”

Vespi saw the opportunity and said, “Here that, Felix? Even that weirdo thinks your important.”

-

“Uh oh.” Twisted Gambit didn’t like to say that very much. In his experience, there was almost always a way out of any given situation. From giant carnivorous butterflies, to an army of socialist weasels. But those were normal, everyday occurrences, events that could be trained for. But an invincible card-game playing woman? Well you just don’t see that every day.

He reacted fast, though, launching several railgun shots to intercept the revolver shots lobbed at him. It wasn’t going to work much longer. This power was great, usually, but he was fighting three others with similar powers. Plus, it was already starting to wear off. I shouldn’t use so many powers so quickly he chided himself. But it couldn’t be helped. Not today.

“Come on,” he willed his power cards to action. He drew one and promptly sprouted a pair of large, brilliantly colored wings. He groaned. “I hate butterfly physiology.” But it wasn’t the end of the world. Not yet anyway. He hated this power, so he had actually trained specifically in the use of it, to lessen how much he hated it. And he had one power he thought might work.

“That doctor said invincibility, right?” he taunted. “But I don’t recall him saying total immunity.” He smirked and…dissolved into a swarm of butterflies, all with the same wing pattern he had. “That’s the thing about doctors, y’know. They act like they’re out to help you, but really they’re in it for the money. Sure he gave you invincibility…” The swarm…swarmed Community Chest. “But did he make you immune to all poisons?”

A fine dust flaked off the wings of the butterflies, a paralysis poison that filled the air around her. She breathed it in before even realizing it. “How’s that taste?”

-

So, remember that Mammoth that Twisted Gambit blew away? Well he’s been flying all this time. And he chose that moment to appear outside the makeshift camp of Magnus and co. looking rather unhappy with the whole ordeal.

“Uh…” Jeff glanced worriedly at Magnus and the others. “We’ve got a Mammoth outside.”

But before anything could be done about it, the Mammoth reared back on its hind legs and unleashed an ear-splitting trumpet, forcing Jeff to cover his ears. But the sound continued to echo throughout the land. And then the Mammoth began to…change. Clumps of hair fell away and large pieces of flesh dropped away like dead skin. The large ears sort of folded in on themselves and the Death-Mammoth became more and more…human-like.

“UHHHHHHHH” Jeff said again with more urgency.

The transformation took only a minute until the Death-Mammoth appeared to be almost human although the trunk remained. That’s when the thing seized with both hands. The trunk came off, revealing a human face – and the severed trunk became a large sword.

“WHAT.”

The humanized Death-Mammoth spotted them at once and began lumbering towards them.

“WHAT JUST HAPPENED.”

-

“I had suspected for a while that you weren’t human,” Samantha sneered. Even so, she was ensnared by the tendrils. “But then, I’ve always felt that way about academics.”

Confidently, she made to open her drop-down menu again, only to find that the Archmage was hold her hands in place, and so she couldn’t activate the holo-haptic controls.

“Wha-oh,” she observed. “That’s not supposed to happen.”

[Calefrun]

Zento dodged the darkness tendrils that came after him, slicing them apart as they approached.

"You're not a normal guy, huh? Wow, what a shock." He hopped over to Samantha and severed the tendrils that were binding her, then planted himself between her and the Archmage, focusing on preventing any more tendrils from grabbing either of them. "Right, so, that last plan didn't work out so well. Got any better ideas?"

---

Dorrei quickly readied her crossbow and took aim at the Mammoth-man.

"This... has never been mentioned in any of the intel the Squids have gathered on the Death Mammoths." She placed her finger on the trigger, but didn't fire yet. "I don't suppose any of you would happen to have any idea what in the fuck is going on right now?"

---

With a sigh, Jack watched the battle unfold before him, resting his head on one hand and holding his deck in the other. "Ignored again, huh? I'd really hate to have to use a third power so quickly, but... I don't think Spine Manipulation and Curative Countenance are of much use to me right now..." He sighed again, and pulled a card off the top of his deck. "I suppose it can't be helped."

Jack examined his card with a frown. "Lightning Ball Projection? Not particularly helpful against someone who's completely invincible." With nothing better to do, he started casually chucking balls of condensed lightning at his opponents in the hopes of making something happen. "This fight's getting boring."

[Myrdraxxis]

"I...have never seen anything like that." Magnus concluded as he joined Jeff and Dorrei at the window, staring at the strange Death-Mammoth man.

"Sooo what does it mean?" Leske asked, glancing up from where he was watching Septimus attempt to seal away whatever was eating at Ash. It seemed to be working; Ash was struggling less and the darkness seemed to be slowing.

"Nothing good." Magnus replied, not taking his eyes off of the newcomer. "Anime law dictates that when something transforms into a humanoid it becomes like, twice as powerful."

"Oh. Great."

"So now it's...a Death Man-moth?" Desmond asked. Everyone just glared at him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Felix, up to this point had been rapidly approaching his stress threshold. This new development finally just pushed him over the edge.

"Fuck it!" He roared. With a manly growl he ripped off his shirt, displaying the rippling muscles that only years of military service can bring. "Come at me, bro!"

With that challenge bellowed Felix leaped at the barbarian-like figure.

[Sariel of Tevet]

The Dayman, calm as royalty can be, stood and presented his codpiece at the beast.

"Yes, he may be a Death Man-moth, or as the natives call them, Homo Mammuthus Preimigenius! He obviously lacks any sort of codpiece! I'll show this prolific bipedal pachyderm what an improvement a codpiece could make on his power level! Prince Elton, to me!"

Death Mammoth possessing Prince Elton took his place next to The Dayman, who lept up on top of the monstrosity and straddled him carefully.

"Now then lets see...."

The Dayman took a moment to fiddle around within his infinity belt and pulled out a playing card and a spikey haired wig. The Dayman presented the cast with a dazzling smirk as he placed the wig upon his royal head, placed the card between two fingers, and showed it to the Man-Moth.

"This Polymerization card will be your undoing! Let's get that Homo, Elton!" It's time to d-d-d-d-d-d-d-duel!"

The Dayman took off the wig and bowed before placing it back onto his head, took a spin, moonwalked across the back of the Prince Elton Death Mammoth, and slammed the card down onto its back while grabbing his magnanimous codpiece and lifting his head back with a rather large "Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!" Their figures were consumed in a white as they too morphed into a Death Man-Moth.

However, they were a Death Man-Moth to rival all Death Man-Moths before them. This Death Man-Moth was runway ready. Its stature was as large as the rival Death Man-Moth, however the large tusks that protruded was The Dayman-Moth's beautiful face glittered in the sunlight of the Tundra. His royal purple cape turned into a splendid silk top, which was quite helpful considering royalty have, of course, no body hair aside from their heads. Lastly, The Dayman's normally quite grandiose codpiece had grown even larger, and nearly touched the ground as there was a mishap during the transformation. The Death Mammoth trunk had...become misplaced..so thankfully The Dayman's codpiece transformed as well.

The Dayman-Moth began to spin and flex his muscles and shined so brightly that the top layers of snow in the area began to melt, and when he finished the gun show, the ice refroze trapping the feet of most of the party and the rival Death Man-Moth.

"Ice to meet you, fiend!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Uno Momento began to strafe the bullets from Community but they kept coming.

"It looks as if I could really use the luck of the draw right now."

He drew an uno card with a large W and several different colors emblazoned on it.

"HA! A what a wild ride this will become. I shall use it to mimic my Defense Power card."

Uno slides behind a nearby boulder and slaps the card down onto its surface. The ground began to shake as the boulder grew and grew until it became a small, clay walled fortress, complete with a Texas State flag. The bullets stuck inside the walls of the fortress and Uno escaped the volley.

"I never believed that I would one day be on THIS side of the Alamo. "

[Monika]

"It's artificial," Sarina answered immediately, thoroughly scanning the transformed Mammoth in front of them. She wasn't entirely sure how she knew that, but did her best to address the confused looks of her party members. "I don't know much about my powers," she began, her right hand brimming with green and black light, "except that Chaos is the natural state of the universe. Being in tune with Chaos means being in tune with nature, and I can definitely tell that that thing isn't natural. Too orderly. Too planned." She shot a quick glance at Jeff - for some reason the creature reminded her of him - but her eyes refixed themselves on their new enemy quickly enough.

"It's definitely man-made," she continued. "Lord Veralice once used dark magic to transform a pterodactyl into a dragon. That thing gives off a similar vibe. But it's..." She paused, trying to put into words what her instincts were telling her. "...sloppy. Unrefined. A prototype. And since it was made by man-" Sarina touched the Wind Crystal around her neck and disappeared, reappearing above the Man-moth an instant later with her sword high in the air. "-so too can it be destroyed!" Her Wind and Chaos energies merged and spiraled around the length of the blade, augmenting its cutting power beyond lightsaber levels. She let gravity handle the rest and crashed down onto the Man-moth's arm, jaggedly slicing it off (because Chaos doesn't believe in a clean cut) and knocking the trunk sword to the ground.

"The second thing I know about my powers," she said, snatching the Man-moth's sword and lifting it with considerable ease, "is that they will actively try to revert things back to their natural state, often making them weaker in the process. So, if I'm quick enough..." Sarina let the Chaos energy flow from her body, through the tips of her fingers, and into the trunk sword. Soon the weapon was enveloped in a cocoon of green and black light and - when the light faded - was just an ordinary severed trunk.

"The reversion actually worked," she muttered, just the slightest bit surprised that her powers were doing what she wanted them to do. "In that case, I should be able to do this!" In a flash, Sarina was at eye level with the creature, and she slammed the severed trunk back onto its face. A gust of air from her Wind Crystal blew the discarded Mammoth flesh and hair back onto the monster from whence they came. Tapping her Water Crystal, she called forth several tendrils of water to interlock and wrap around the Man-moth's body. "Freeze!" At her command, the water supercooled itself, freezing the trunk, skin, and hair in place.

And then it happened. A vortex of green and black energy erupted and swirled around the monstrosity, only dissipating when it had fully corrected the travesty of nature. Once the vortex was gone, what stood before the party was not the bishonen line crossing super monster, but a normal, everyday Death Mammoth.

With some heavy panting, she teleported to her original location (a fair distance away from the killer elephant) and said, "Well, that's one problem solved."

---

"In addition to the many other horrors they subjected their successor to," Community said to Twisted Gambit, "the Chest Family made sure that their precious heiress had a taste of every biological poison known to man!" She slipped the empty revolver back inside her coat, replacing it with a...butterfly net. Because a good assassin always comes prepared. "Every day of my life since I was old enough to walk! Snake venom!" She swung the net, capturing a portion of the swarm. "Toad poison!" She swung again, catching even more of the swarm. "And butterflies!" With a final sweep of the net, she captured the rest of Twisted Gambit and sealed the net around him.

"A little bit every day for two decades. Only the best for their beloved daughter. Got the idea from some ancient king." She shrugged. "If it came from an animal, it's no good against me. You'd need something like arsenic or cyanide to kill me, and I don't think you've got such a card in that copyright infringing deck of yours. But even if you did-" Community reached into her pocket, retrieving a small canister of Crazy Leon's Bug-B-Gone All Natural Biodegradable Insecticide^TM. "-you'd never get the chance to use it." And she sprayed the contents of the can all around the net.

[Mizagium]

“Alright, that’s enough!” Twisted Gambit’s butterfly swarm coalesced into a normal human form (albeit with butterfly wings and antennae). This new form was too big to be contained in the net and he tore out of it, coughing out the poison that she had sprayed him with. “Alright, alright. I think we’ve hit a point where things aren’t going to go any one way or the other, so why don’t we try to talk this out, yeah? Seems there’s something of a miscommunication.” He glanced at Uno Momento and Jack. “At least between us,” he said to Community.

-

Jeff stared at Sarina a moment before awkwardly offering her his arm. “That was…impressive…”

Vi’ir sighed impatiently. “Yes, yes, ridiculous powers all around. Has that strange man completed the questionable ritual yet and saved and/or destroyed our afflicted companion yet? If so, we need to be moving on.”

-

Samantha gritted her teeth and growled at Zento. “Oh. You know. I was just going to let him capture and destroy. Figured I’d see how that played out.” She pulled against the dark tendrils. “But seeing as how you’re not any help, I guess I’ll have to save myself.” She yanked on the tendrils, feeling them strain to hold her in place. She could almost reach the controls…

“Guess I’ll test it…TUCAN, activate voice controls!”

“Wrak!” her machine came to life. “TUCAN voice controls active, wrak!” It sounded very much like a bird imitating human speech.

“Activate…protocol Dark_Dest.exe and run subsystem ether_man.aug! I want this bastard to disappear!”

“Wrak, activating!” Her complicated worldcode machines came to life, infecting the Archmage with yet another string of reality programming, this time coded to account for his being A) an artificial construct and B) entirely made from darkness. “Worldcode program activated!”

“Come on!” Samantha shouted at both the Archmage and the bonds that held her. “How strong are you?”

-

Poor Felix. The Death Manmmoth wasn’t even there for him, but he lost his shit and charged the beast. With the most casual of gestures, it swept Felix aside like the insect that he was. “What a nerd,” it observed.

“I mean, I agree,” Vespi shrugged. “But what are you and what do you want?” Everyone gave Vespi an odd look. How unlike the Immortal of Fire to be semi-reasonable. “Hey, all of you can go to right to – “

“They call me Grimmtusk Jeagerhorn!”

Bill snorted. “’They’ meaning who?”

“Well, me mostly, but hey, shut up.” He pointed his anime sword at the group again, this time with more precision. “Everyone just step aside and let me do my job, eh?”

Gallen Kah blinked a few times before saying, “Wait a moment. Are you pointing at me?”

Clearly exasperated, the Manmmoth said, “Of course I am. Look, just, I’m trying to cool about this. Everyone step away from the target and let me kill him, ok?”

“Begone, foul beast!” That shout came from no one assembled. Gale, who everyone had forgotten about, had wandered off somewhere, but now returned, dressed like some sort of Knight Templar. The mantle didn’t bear a cross, but a man killing a Death-Mammoth. Also he had a claymore instead of the bow from earlier. He appeared from…somewhere and struck with the blade. Grimmtusk caught the blow and flung Gale away.

“Alright, I guess we’re doing it the hard way.” Grimmtusk shrugged, dropped into a stance, and charged at the assembled Immortals. Everyone scattered, including the Immortal of Order, who was now marked for death, apparently.

“It’s not too late!” Vespi shouted, readying her flame whip. “You can have him!”

“Vespi, please,” Bill Nye sighed, finding a same place behind a ruined building. “Now is not the time for jokes.”

“Who’s joking?” She flung compact rings of fire at the Manmmoth. “Anytime, folks,” she called to the others. “Any time.”

[Sariel of Tevet]

Uno Momento raised himself up over the wall just enough for his eyes and sombrero to peek over the top.

"Hokay, I am listening, essay. We can taco bout this all you want. But I am not coming out of the Alamo until this is over. The only thing less trustworthy than myself is anyone that I am fighting at the moment. "

[Calefrun]

Dorrei briefly considered opening fire on the Death Mammoth, but she had a feeling that her attacks weren't likely to have any more of an effect on this mammoth than they did on the last one. She slung her crossbow over her shoulder and said in an exasperated tone, "Forget it, wasn't that ghost guy still a Mammoth? He can deal with this."

She approached Ash and peered down at him, inspecting the progress of Septimus' healing. "So, do you people actually have a goal here, or is the objective to just keep screwing around until more Mammoths attack?"

---

Jack sighed. "Whatever, this was getting boring anyway. No luck with the draws, ya know?" He stood back up and approached the others, then leaned against Uno's wall and reached into his pocket. After drawing forth a mutton leg he'd stolen from a nearby village and taking a bite, he flashed an innocent look at Twisted Gambit and asked with mock sincerity, "So what whatcha wanna talk about?"