LHC Official Unofficial CF Archival Thing

[Sariel of Tevet]

"I keep thinking it can't get any worse... And then that happens."

"I know the feeling, trust me," Scarlet replied, "The last time I thought things couldn't get worse, the local bank turned into a homicidal robot... And things just went downhill from there."

She watched the Xienghen make a beeline for Cale and his pet squidmobile and raised an eyebrow, "It looks hungry... Apparently it has a taste for calamari."

Well, the kid seems to have it handled anyway.

"This is going to be a thing, isn't it?" She heard Leske mutter.

Scarlet turned a crimson eye to Vespi, "How many checkpoints did the Dayman say he was gonna make? 'Cause it looks like there will be some form of nasty to beat up at each one, if this is indeed a thing."

[Sariel of Tevet]

Interference

The Dayman and Stratus found the others after hearing a series of shouts and sword waves. They parked next to the group and began to prepare for the fight.

"Calamari? HA!" The Dayman laughed and slapped a royal hand Scarlet's shoulder. "Land squids don't taste like calamari! Everyone knows this. I would prove it myself, but..", he grasped his codpiece for emphasis, "royalty don't eat seafood. It is a cuisine reserved for the impoverished. That is why fish are bottom feeders! So that they can feed the bottom feeders. Look, I will demonstrate."

He picked up Stratus by his collar and belt, just as the "atmosfaerie" was pulling a sword from his bike.

"Tell me what it tastes like boy! And you will get two beer points!"

The Dayman threw Stratus right into the fray, who tongue was hurled out with purpose. With a thumbs up he turned a bit, and yelled back to the group with his mouth wide open still.

"I will get those beer points, old man!"

His face collided with Boopen Jr., and he crawled all around it, dragging his tongue the entire way, before falling backwards onto the ground.

"Nope, doesn't taste like calamari. I would have to say it is mostly like salty marshmallows."

[Sariel of Tevet]

CRAAAAAASHHHH! *Camera shakes a bunch*

“Wake up… Hey! I said wake up nerd!” A small squeaky voice said from the corner of the heavily… We’ll say disheveled room. “It sounds like stuff is happening outside.” The little voice shifted around the room. “Yeeeaaa… A building totally just fell over.”

“Ugh.” Fenris sat up on the floor where he fell asleep, or passed out, which is totally sleeping for a rockstar, and removed the under garments that sat atop his head. “Scrambles is that you?” He brought his hands to his face and rubbed his eyes trying to remember the events of the night before. “Where am I.”

Scrambles, a tiny blue scaled Pseudo-Dragon, sprung from his perch on the window and climbed to Fenris’s shoulders. “You’re in your apartment.” Scrambles said simply. “You know? That place you lease out every month.” Scrambles headbutted Fenris lightly. “You paid that 2000 dollar security deposit so you could get the luxury sui-“

BOOOOOOOOOOOOMM!!! *A hole appears in the wall!*

“That you’re totally not getting back now.” Scrambles finished.

Fenris dragged himself to his feet and leaned against a wall that wasn’t just blown in. “What the *beep* just happened?” He said in mild frustration. Voices could be heard yelling from outside through his new bay window, Fenris is an optimist, and he struggled to make out what they said, but to no avail. “Scrambles… Go look out the window and tell me what’s going on… I’m” Fenris put his hand to his temple. “I’m pretty hung over brah.”

Scrambles hurried over to the window, right next to the giant gaping hole that totally offered a better view, and tried to see what was going on. “Well there’s a guy. And another guy. There are at least 5 boobs hanging out.” Scrambles scratched his scaly head. “I think a tower fell on thaaaat guy. Hmmm. There’s some popcorn. And some… Mini Karts? Well… One guy… Or girl… Has a motorcycle.” He paused and looked at Fenris. “Girls can have motorcycles right?”

Fenris looked at him a little dumbfounded. “That’s sexist. We don’t allow that here.”

*They both look at the camera*

Fenris walked over to the gaping hole in the wall and saw a few beings standing in a circle a few hundred feet down the way, surrounded by the rubble of the city. “What the hell happened here? This is *beep*ing nuts!” Fenris reached out his hand and his crystalline guitar custom ESP EX 720 flew into his grasp. “Should we… Like… Check it out?” He paused a moment. “Why is there popcorn everywhere?”

I dunno dude.” Scrambles jumped on Fenris’s shoulders again. “ I’m down to go look. We can be detectives.” He laughed squeakily.

“Alright. Let’s go then.” He turned and started heading for the door. “Oh wait.” He said. He went over to the wall hook and grabbed his keys. “Can’t forget my keys.” They walked to the door and realized it wasn’t there anymore. “Aw man. Now people can just walk in… Gonna get mud everywhere… Steal all my drugs… And porn…. And… I don’t really own much do I.” Fenris turned to look at his apartment. It was mostly empty save a few kegs and some passed out women. Oh, and the jungle cat. There’s a jungle cat in the bathroom. “*beep* this place.”

Fenris started making his way to the elevator with Scrambles atop him. They reached it without trouble. When the elevator doors opened they saw that the elevator escort was still there. “Good day Mr. Dragon-Heart. How are you this fine day?” He said with a cheerful smile.

“… You do know that people are exploding the shit out of the city right now… Right?”

There was a moment of awkward silence. “No sir. Everything’s fine!” The man said non-shalantly. “Just a fine day in the city!”

“Uuuuh huuuuh…” Fenris stepped into the elevator. “Lobby please?”

“sure!” The man pushed the lobby button.

*Awkward silence. Scrambles just stares at the elevator escort… Fenris picks his nose… Then wipes it on the elevator wall.*

The elevator doors opened. “You have a great day now Mr. Dragon-Hea-“ And suddenly the elevator explodes, popcorn flying everywhere.

“Seriously, what the *beep* is with the popcorn?” Fenris said as he strode away from the rubble and running through the A minor scale in it’s friggian mode, wind picking up as he did so.

Scrambles plucked a piece of it from the air. “I don’t know.” He then tasted it, and immediately coughed and spit it out. “But it tastes like ass.”

The walked into the lobby, or what was the lobby, of the apartment building, now it was mostly just outside, and found bodies everywhere. They continued outside to try and get to the bottom of this whole mess.

They finally made it outside, after stepping over mounds of rubble and body parts, and started approaching the group of people. That was when the whole building crashed behind them.

“Awwwww! GOD DAMMIT!!!” Fenris said incredibly angry. “All of my herion was in there!”

“You’ll be fine man. You should probably quit.” Scrambles said encouragingly. “Remember those snickers commercials. “You’re not the same when you’re hungry.”? Well… You’re not the same when you’re high.”

His fingers switched into the C Major blues scale and lightening started crackling around him. “Is that why I can’t remember what’s happened the past… 18 years?” He pondered a moment. “Hmmm. What’s happened the past couple years?”

BOOOOOOOOMMMM!!!! *More stuff explodes. There is now more popcorn*

“Why is there so muuuuch POPCORN?!?!?!” Fenris shouted. He walked over to the group furiously soloing on his instrument, causing lightening to strike the ground betwixt the group and the wind starting to form tornados. “Ok… Don’t you know there’s people trying to sleep? You broke my apartment! Lost ALL of my drugs.”

*More popcorn rains from the sky. Scrambles eats some… Then spits it out.*

“And… WHAT THE *beep* IS WITH ALL THE *beep*ING POPCORN!!!!!”

_________________
Everyone is afraid of something. Some of us embrace it, some of us conquer it, some of us run from it... Me? I guess when you're afraid of everything, there's nothing to be afraid of.

[Sariel of Tevet]

Spirit
Feet pattering after the sound of the others, Spirit was in a slight annoyance of the situation, though easily calmed herself. So, Haley is now completely invisible gear and all along with the watch, is apparently going off on her own and there is no way to pinpoint the actual watch for taking it. "This is the worst possible situation ever...." Spirit muttered.
----
Seeing the fox man attack Pullio. Shadow, the more violent of the two black wolves quickly ran up to and pulled at the creatures leg. Mystic then running in the humanoids path and growling furiously.

Selene/Alias
If Selene could remember what had exactly happened, she would have. Though as it stands all she could recount was looking down at the racers, and when the chaos erupted. Her hands casting forth ready to unleash a torrent of water. That was until her very essence reverberated. A ridiculously enormous amount of heat boiling her very core and causing her to become nothing more then a random jumble of magics and energy laced into a small puddle of steaming, running water down the roof side of a building. Faintly her mind also recounts some of her form falling into a jar and being taken somewhere across the road those were racing on and into another alley way, at least that is what she thought.

That is where her thoughts end and her awakening was brought back. A cage surrounded her and was red with heat as she sat in not even a centimeter thick pool of water, which she quickly absorbed into her form so as to keep herself alive. Slowly Selene shifted her Elemental gaze to someone standing outside of the cage walking up to her. "Looks like you are alive, good... I was starting to worry you would not take on a shape and would be none other then a pool of water that was once a powerful being." His face turned into a scowl "Too powerful a being, one that should not exist."

She heard a loud noise to her right, another cage. A large scaled arm with long claws was reaching out and trying to grab at the man whom simply dodged his attack. Then slammed a hammer into Alias's forearm, the sound of only a soft crack emanating through the dark chambers. Though the hit was enough to send Alias back to the rear of his prison.

"The Marksman.... Deadbolt...." Alias spat in his coarse, reptilian like voice.

"Oh, so you remember me do you?" there abuser laughed. "How do you like the head of that arrow in your shoulder, does it bring back memories every time you move that shoulder?" A bunch of men and few women chuckled viciously in the background. "The Purifiers have finally caught the unnatural beast that you are Lizard man... and" his gaze turned to Selene "A water elemental, we have never had the pleasure of encountering one before and now we have the means to run some tests... see what makes you tick, of course heat is a given as you are made of the substance water. But I would love to figure out what else we can exploit about your kind, what other weaknesses do you hold, monster?" he grinned. "My name is Selene..." her voice echo'd around.

"No! no you are not Selene... you see, water elemental's do not have names" The Marksman laughed crudely, "that much every being in existence knows. Water elemental's just know the difference between one anther when encountering each other.... we had to know a little before attempting to catch one of you." He explained. "Certainly you know that as well, monster.... that is what you are called now, because that is what you are to us... a monstrosity needing to be taken from existence, but first we need to run some tests like we said, and find out how to kill you permanently..."

Selene reached out to him in a gesture of attack. Though the hot metal of the cage seemed to burn away the water she was made up of, and she screamed while looking at her steaming hands, attempting to reform them. Though it seemed to take forever. "You try to leave, you get burned" The Marksman stated before walking away. Selene looked to Alias again who was too tall to stand up in his own cage, and was rubbing his injured forearm. Eyes seeming to glare at The Marksman's back as he walked away then into the shadows.

It was unbelievable for a creature made of water to do such a thing, but she wept. Not shedding tears like humans, but crying out in distress. The sounds able to rival that of a sirens music, but of complete sadness and it was seeming to echo through the chambers and into the city, then into the whole world though it became obvious that the sound most likely had not left the chambers. Guards in the chamber covered there ears and Alias huddled in a corner growling in anger while he tried to block out the sound. Though she could not stop, even as a guard ripped the hot poker out of a near by furnace and advanced.

[Sariel of Tevet]

"... Ouch," Scarlet deadpanned as the Dayman slapped a hand to her shoulder, "It was a joke. You know; humor? No? Alright, fine then." She watched with only mild interest as the species confused human was thrown at the squid in question.

"He must really want that beer."

"Nope, doesn't taste like calamari. I would have to say it is mostly like salty marshmallows."

"I'll admit, I didn't see that coming. For some reason, I was expecting him to say it tasted like chicken."

A few random lightning strikes have Scarlet losing her composure and diving for the nearest shelter: the Dayman's leg. She cowers there in her viper's form for a few moments before regaining some semblance of dignity. The small snake uncoils from the unfortunate royal's leg and slithers a small distance away, where she returns to her human form, kneeling on the ground and pouting. Yes. Pouting.

"Oh, and I was doing so well with that, too," she whined quietly to herself.

“Ok… Don’t you know there’s people trying to sleep? You broke my apartment! Lost ALL of my drugs... And… WHAT THE *beep* IS WITH ALL THE *beep*ING POPCORN!!!!!”

Scarlet blinked at the newcomer, "Popcorn? What popcorn?" She asked, face completely serious, even as a piece of the foodstuff in question bounced off her head and landed on her shoulder. She brushed it off.

[Sariel of Tevet]

Interference

Stratus began to roll with laughter at Scarlet hiding betwixt The Dayman's legs and entirely ignoring Cale, Leske, and Xienghen. The Dayman, with quite a stern expression, called out to Stratus.

"And there goes all your beer points boy. You are not royalty, like myself, and are unqualified to laugh at women. And if you are going to do it, you need better posture. Like so!"

He spread his legs apart, placed his fists against his hips, and tilted his head backwards and began to let out a bellowing cackle. The Dayman turned to direct his jolly jostling at Scarlet, without direct eye contact of course, and noticed her brushing popcorn off of her shoulders. He expression changed completely from bliss to bewilderment.

"Are you a pimp? I see you brushing your shoulders off. Hmm. No matter! I have something for you!"

The Dayman reached into his infinity belt and pulled out a rather large, sparkly, codpiece shaped umbrella, and presented it to Scarlet.

"I often forget that fears exist. Royalty have no fears of course, but no matter! I can't have you constantly seeking refuge in my loins, my wife would not like that at all. So here take..."

His attention was caught by a new comer, rocking away at his instrument. The Dayman's jaw dropped and he let the umbrella fall to the ground. His wrists were brought up in front of his face, to mask the blushing and his inability to close his mouth. Bouncing up and down, he began to squee in the most feminine shrill imaginable and ran straight up to the approaching form.

"F....Fenris......DRAGON-HEART?!?!?! By the coruscation of my crotch covering it IS you! Oh my goodness can I have your autograph?!?! Please?"

He thrust his codpiece into the face of Fenris, and paused, anticipating confused stares from everyone around.

"I...I believe this must look strange. Seeing such a perfect royal form such as mine at the mercy of a celebrity such as this, one without a codpiece at that! But the answer is simple. Royalty need role models, just like how you poor folk look up to me. It is only natural. Celebrities are the only non codpiece wearing entities that we are allowed to respect, since they are generally treated as royalty to begin with."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stratus, who was ignoring all of this by this point, had ceased laughing and became quite disgruntled at losing his beer points. He grabbed his sword from the blade, and held it against his side, allowing the handle to open up to the size of a bowling ball.

"I will get that beer! Damn you old man!"

He lept up and landed on Leske's shoulders.

"Let's do this other old guy!"

He began shooting cannon balls at Xienghen from the handle of his sword.

"We dont need any of your Xienanighens here!"

[Sariel of Tevet]

As Fenris continued approaching one of the people tried to hide and another, a rather fantastical sort that Fenris wanted to party with, turned his head and began fan-gasming to himself.

“Seriously! What in the name of… Some kind of… Scrambles…” Fenris turned his head to look at his familiar on his shoulder and whispered. “Uh… What am I looking for right now?”

Scrambles sighed. “God… You are looking for god.”

“Oh right…” Fenris looked back at the hooligans hanging out in the middle of the street. “What in the name of god are you doing out here?” He began playing in a Dorian F minor scale.

Just in that moment the fan-gasming fancy guy charged at Fenris, screaming about his codpiece and asking for a autograph.

“Uh well…. Why would you want my autograph?? It’s not like I d…” All that could be heard were mumbles as the fancy man shoved his crotch covering into Fenris’s mouth.

The fancy man started going on about respect and royalty and celebrities as Scrambles began struggling to get the cod piece out of Fenris’s mouth. “What the *beep* dude! How did he even get this in there?”

*Pop!*

Fenris took a second to catch his breath. “I don’t know.” There was an awkward pause. “Wait… Why does he want my autograph???”

*Blimp flies over head saying “Come see Fenris Dragon-Heart at his Farewell, Welcome back, 16th reunion, for the fans, for the love, for the fans, for the music, for the… Buckets? Tour! Tonight at a time yet to be decided! Show up and hopefully something happens!*

“Uhhh. Dude… You’re like… Intergalactically famous.” Scrambles took out his judgement free bong and took a hit. “How don’t you remember that?” He said, smoke pouring from his nostrils.

“I don’t know man. Maybe I should start laying off the heroin… And the speed… And the Dmt… And the…”

*20 different drugs later*

“And the orangatang blood… I really should be able to remember being famous.”

“Celebrities are the only non-codpiece wearing entities that we’re allowed to respect…”

“Scrambles looked up at that comment. “Dude I bet your codpiece is way shinier then his.”

“I’m wearing a codpiece???” Fenris looked utterly bewildered.

*Scrambles smacks Fenris across the face.*

“That was a gift from your father you asshole!” Scrambles said angrily.

“I have a father?!?!?!” Fenris utterly confused and overwhelmed.

*Meanwhile, In Celestia… Bahamut sits atop a golden cloud, covered in booze and whores, watching Godtube.*

“Ughhhh… My son is a *beep*ing moron!”

*Back in the land of lands!*

“Seriously… How are you this retarded?” Scrambles sighed. “Take out your codpiece and show this cracker what’s what.”

Just as the fancy man turned around Fenris began fishing in his pants. “Non-codpiece wearing entity huh? Wait til you see…” Fenris still fished in his crotch area inside his pants. “Uhh… Wait for it… Wait for it… Wait for it…”

*Everyone face palms!*

“Almost got it… One more seeeecond…” And with that Fenris yanked a glorius golden and diamond encrusted codpiece from his groin, that also looked about 3 sizes to big to make any sense.

*Fenris looks at the camera.*

“How do you like that for a cod piece Mr. Fancy Pants???” Fenris said brandishing his glorious golden codpiece proudly.

“Hey why is that kids sword hilt turning bowling ball-esque?” Scrambles said pointing.

*Fenris now dances and plays a legato riff with just his left hand and waves his cod piece around*

“Hey Fenris I’m pretty sure that’s a cannon… In a sword… Should we… Like he-“

*BOOOOOOOOMMMM! The boy shoots an older man in the face and laughs, all behind the fancy man’s back but he seems to transfixed on Fenris… Also there’s more popcorn*

Scrambles whistles. “Well that happened. Well look at that. The old dude’s not even dead. *beep*ing BAAAAAMF.”

Fenris watches in wonderment as the boy shot the cannon sword cannon… And then notices more popcorn. “WHAT THE *BEEP* IS WITH THE POPCORN!!!!”

[Sariel of Tevet]

Izaak stared at Ephantus as his body dropped to the floor like a ragdoll, dead. Suddenly, the guard that had been keeping watch down the hall walked straight to their position. Izaak readied his daggers for a quick kill.

"We need to go up three floors and cross into the next wing." said the guard.

Izaak lowered his guard a little. What is this "Ephantus" character? he thought to himself. A spirit? Some kind of artificial intelligence? Sentient machine? Regardless, I don't like it...

"Well," he said quietly, "lead the way."

[Sariel of Tevet]

Interference Team

Vespi growled, sounding more like crackling electricity, although whether it was at the sudden appearance of Fenris Dragon-Heart or Xienghen, she couldn’t say. However, she fixated on the rock star. “Dragon-Heart,” she spat. “Never cared for his so-called music. It all just sounds like noise to me.”

Either not wanting to deal with Fenris, or just eager to get on with the race, Vespi angled towards Xienghen and arced a thick lightning bolt towards a her.

The infuriated monk took the bolt, as well as Leske’s gunshots and Cale’s sword bursts. After going down in a heap, she immediately flew up into the sky, looking quite a bit bruised. “All right!” She yelled from her lofty perch. “I don’t have time to deal with all of you! Someone better tell me who is responsible for the murder of my friend, Mhenlo, and his (apparently) lover!”

Infiltration Team

Haley snorted. “Who made you the boss?” she mumbled. But Dorian returned a moment later and confirmed what Ephantus said. Still muttering, she headed for the stairs when she heard a sharp click. She had just enough time to say “Shit” before the entire floor opened up, dumping her, Ephantus, Spirit, Kayla, Izaak, and Geirhald down a dark pit. They fell for a few minutes before they hit the bottom floor.

Groaning, Haley picked herself up. The room was rather nondescript, made of slippery stone with a few torches around. The room was a rough square with one hallway leading off in each direction. Above each hallway hung a worn sign.

Stormfront Dungeon System
Dungeon designed by Rouge Dungeoncrawler Ltd.

“…”

Elswhere

Jeremiah tapped the readout on his display, a tracking system coded to locate Purifiers wherever he went. It had begun pinging a few minutes ago, but he hadn’t believed it; this was way to far from the Land of Herbs.

“Just how far have they spread,” he mused. Not too far below him spread a destroyed city. “Stormfront, huh? This the Purifiers’ work? Must be. They don’t like to leave anything standing.” He circled a few times, edging lower and lower, absently aware of the battles and kart race going on. But Lettucehead only had eyes for one scene, the Purifiers leading away two caged figues.

“Bombs away!” He dove sharply, spraying the area with gunfire, scattering the Purifiers. He ejected, set the plane for autopilot, and let it angle upward while he landed, after doing some sweet flips. In the confusion, Jeremiah Lettucehead cracked the cages open with one sick kick each.

“Any enemy of the Purifiers is a friend of mine, daddy-o!”

[Sariel of Tevet]

INTERFERENCE TEAM

":c" Boopen Jr. said in response to being licked.

“I don’t have time to deal with all of you! Someone better tell me who is responsible for the murder of my friend, Mhenlo, and his (apparently) lover!”

Cale stopped attacking and looked around. "Of... who? Elmo?" He called out to the other members of the interference team, "Hey, did any of you happen to kill an Elmo on the way here? Come on, guys, cold-blooded murder isn't okay!" A Blade Rider suddenly appeared from nowhere and lunged at him, only to be promptly cut in half. "Self defense is fine, though!"

INFILTRATION TEAM

"Ooof!" Kayla picked herself back up quickly after landing, then noticed that she was back with the rest of the group. "I... oh. Hey, guys." She looked at the four different pathways leading out of the room. "That's... a pain. Do we just pick one? Or I guess we could split up; and then whoever escapes and accomplishes the mission is the winner." Oh no, she thought, Cale had better not be starting to rub off on me.

[Sariel of Tevet]

“Self-defense is fine though.”

“Scrambles… I’m fairly aroused right now.”

Scrambles looked at Fenris with wide dragony eyes. “Why?”

Fenris shook his head. “I don’t know, but I think it’s time to do the thing.”

“What thing?” Scrambles said confused.

“You know…” Fenris put the little dragon on the ground. “The thiiiiiing.”

“Oh! I know the thing!”

*Scrambles grabs his ankles and rolls around on the ground.*

Fenris sighs in frustration. “Just… Just ignore him everybody.” He facepalmed. “I need you to do the transformation thing.”

“Oooooh why didn’t you say that??” Scrambles looked at Fenris with a condescending look. “You really need to work on your communication skills.”

“Hey… You know what… You didn’t just get off an 18 year heroin trip ok? So you can just go *beep* yourself ya little ass clown.” Fenris started doing a sweet tapping solo. “Give me a break… You ready.”

“I was born ready…” Scrambles looked intensely into Fenris’s eyes.

*Suddenly the sounds of gloriously melodic music started filling the air, though there were no other band members in sight, and Scrambles started his epic transformation. Fenris furiously shreds his guitar his eyes closed in extreme concentration. The camera focuses on them and starts slowly panning out as the music builds and builds and builds into an angelic choir raining from the heavens. And finally the camera finally pans out to focus on Scrambles…*

“Oh you’ve got to be kidding.” Fenris said in an outburst of irritation and disappointment. “That’s what you turn into?!?!?!”

*We see scrambles turned into a little child’s motorized bike shaped like a tiny crotch rocket and standing a foot off the ground. It whines a high pitch engine rev in response.*

“Oh sure. I don’t even think you can hold me like this!”

*iIt revs again.*

“Fine. I’ll ride you… Only cause you said please though.” And Fenris mounted the tiny child’s motorbike. “Let’s race bitches!”

[Sariel of Tevet]

Pullio raises his sword up high, laughing maniacally as he is about to slice someone in half. When the orb hits him, he steps back, sword dropping down to slice apart a flare. The second flare hits him in the shoulder, curving around and sparking his hair. He turns to the fox man and roars furiously, swinging his sword above his head before leaping towards the fox-demon. The madman laughs, his bloody body flying through the air, bloody sword slicing through the air to create a slight whistling noise.

SIRI:

Siri gives Nightman a big smile. "Good job. I will be back after I open the portal." She gives the Nightman a kiss on the cheek before disappearing in the shadows.

[Sariel of Tevet]

Interference Team

Leske stopped firing at hear their opponent's words. The name Mhenlo sounded very vaguely familiar....

Oh yeah.

"That guy who got shanked in the biker bar?" He asked. "And died way too dramatically for how pathetically he was killed? Er...yeah I hate to break it to you but it was just some random Stormrider who did that." He paused, thinking. "In fact, I have been with the group for months now and I have no idea who that guy was."



Infiltration Team


"How quaint." Ephantus snorted at their sudden transition into rather generic dungeon. He looked around and sighed, then picked a direction and started walking. "I'm going this way." with that declared, he began to wander down one of the tunnels.

Then the ground started rumbling and a mass of spike traps jutted out from the ground, spiking his servitor body to the ceiling.

Ephantus left the body and, rather sheepishly, floated back over to the others, his nanomachines forming his War-form since he no longer had a servitor. "Okay so don't go that way."

[Sariel of Tevet]

Scarlet raised an eyebrow at the royal, "It was your ankles, you pervy lunatic, not your loins. NOT the same thing!" She continued grumbling to herself when the Dayman addressed her again. At first, silence was her only response, then a quiet, "No, I am not a pimp. There was- what?"

She stared at the umbrella, her expression a mix of confusion and sheer horror. She was just about to respond that she most certainly didn't need umbrellas with questionable shapes when the royal jerk-wad dropped the damned thing on her head. Given the amount of bling on the thing, it was an instant KO.

She awoke a few moments later to see a small draconic creature rolling around on the ground. Her brow furrowed in absolute confusion. She probably looked ridiculous.

ELSEWHERE

"OOOH! They have a sale!" A small girl with black cat ears and bubblegum pink hair bounced excitedly in front of the Stormfront Yarn Supply Company. She was only bouncing because she was too short to read the sale sign otherwise. Giggling happily, she clapped her paws together (and really, they looked far too big for her small stature) and removed her greatest possession from her back. It was a frying pan. But not just ANY frying pan. This frying pan was fish shaped, with golden inlays and ruby eyes... Hence its name: The GOLDFISH FRYING PAN. It also came with an extra long handle, which the cat like girl used to reach the push handle for the door.

Her bright blue eyes widened as they roved over the expanse of yarn and she gave another giggle. There was a gloriously fluffy ball of purple yarn up on a top shelf. Her eyes narrowed; if she got a running start, maybe she could--

The shop unexpectedly blew up, after having been bombed with bricks of gold. The ball of yarn however, when flying from the impact.

"Chase!" The girl shouted. And chase she did, taking off at an alarming speed.

She wasn't sure how far the ball of yarn had flown; distance wasn't really an issue for her, she just wanted to play. Her sharp eyes spotted it lying innocently a few feet away. There may have been a few other people around her now, but she was far too focused on her quarry to notice. She crouched down, tail flicking back and forth, and wiggled her butt. She was just about to pounce when one of those strange light anomalies caught her attention. Her pupils dilated as she slowly reached out with one paw to obliterate it. Just as her paw came down, it vanished.

"Damn it! Foiled again!" She cursed, "What are those strange dots, anyway? I must know! They could be an extra-rare kind of fishing lure!"

Looking around frantically, she located another anomaly on a woman's forehead. She looked angry, though the girl supposed she'd be angry too, if she had a fishing lure attached to her forehead. It was only right that it be removed and relocated to the girl's portable tackle box. Stealthily, she grasped her frying pan in both paws, then ran forward with a shrill battle cry. She jumped high, and used the extended handle on her frying pan to smack Xienghen (The aforementioned angry woman) directly in the forehead, giving us our second KO of the day.

The cat girl landed daintily on her feet and scratched her nose, "Did I get it-- Oooh! Shiny!" She toddled up to the umbrella that had taken Scarlet out a few moments before (and was also the source of the light anomalies) and examined it for a few seconds before feeling eyes on her. She jumped, startled at the number of people she'd failed to notice, then dug around in the ground with her shoe, pouting. Instantly, her mood switched and she faced everyone with a bright smile, "Hiya, everybody! I'm Koko! Nice to meetcha!" She said with a wave.

[Sariel of Tevet]

INTERFERENCE TEAM

Cale watched as Xienghen was taken out in comical fashion by the fierce warrior who had suddenly arrived on the scene. Curious to see what manner of creature could have so easily defeated the opponent, he looked to the ground and saw the newcomer.

"That's a weird looking dog," he noted. Boopen Jr. jiggled in agreement, then Cale picked him up and jumped down from the roof which he had totally definitely been standing on dramatically while attacking Xienghen, and I totally didn't forget to mention that earlier. After approaching the rest of the group he said, "So... does this mean that the race is back on? Oh, and it's nice to meet you too, Kokomo, but you should know that it's rude to interrupt people that are talking."

Boopen Jr. began to sing, "Aruba, Jamaica, ooh I wanna take ya..."

[Sariel of Tevet]

Interference

The Dayman looked down at Koko, and squatted down to scratch under her chin, silently humming to himself.

"We'll get there fast, and then we'll take it slow...that's where we wanna gooo ooo..."

He cleared his royal throat and shook his head.

"Anyway, congratulations on your defeat! Seems like it was a purrrfect hit. Well, for someone not of royal class of course."

Stratus plopped down from Leske's shoulders after the Xienanighens had ceased. He turned to yell back to the rest of the group.

"Hey you guys! I totally defeated the........"

He stopped mid ego trip after seeing Koko.

"KITTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

He took off running straight for the group, and slide tackled The Dayman out of the way, sending him tumbling (however without getting a speck of dirt on him, because royalty). Stratus sat down with his legs crossed, and snatched up Koko and placed her in his lap.

"Whose a good kitty? You are!!"

Stratus began to pet her and make things extremely awkward for everyone involved. The Dayman stood up and hopped into his codpiece kart.

"Well this just got extremely awkward for everyone involved. Off to the next checkpoint!"

He pulled up next to Fenris and honked, before pulling a compact disc from his codpiece.

"It's your compilation album. Best road rage music ever."

He tore off towards the next checkpoint.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Villains

The Nightman sighed after Siri kissed him and disappeared.

"........this can't go well."

[Sariel of Tevet]

Hakuzo dove to the left, attempting to roll as he hit the ground. He barely dodged the sword flying towards him, hearing it clang against the ground where he had just been. Landing not-so-gracefully, he more so slid to a stop on the ground before quickly hopping back up. He readied the shining, purple orb again, holding it in front of his chest, between both hands. More fiery wisps came to life around him, flitting quickly in circles around his body. He looked up from the orb back to Pullio. A blue glow flashed around his eyes as the world seemed to shift out of focus for a moment. Illusory copies of the man flickered into existence, surrounding the barbarian with a circle of five fox-men. Each image mirrored what the original man did with exact precision. The only tell was a slight delay between the movement of the first and the copies.

Four false orbs flew at Pullio from all directions, a single real one among the mix. Shortly after, wisps of blue fire danced toward the man as Hakuzo moved in rapid, intricate ways around the man, he and the illusions slowly moving in on the large man in the center. More small flares hurtled toward the bloody barbarian in rapid succession, the real ones constantly coming from different directions as they span around Pullio. Hakuzo did his best to dodge any attack to come at him or the illusions, however Pullio's blade passed through the illusions several times, showing which were real, before they rapidly switched places once again.

[Sariel of Tevet]

The group began bickering more and more as Fenris just sat atop his glorious mini crotch rocket/pseudo dragon familiar and waited. Every few moments he revved the engine just to hear it’s high pitched WEEEEEHHHH noise. He took this time to reflect on his life, all of his choices and what not.

*How did I get here* he thought to himself as the crowd continued to bicker. *Could this have been prevented? Could I have made better life choices?* And as all of these questions came to him, he tried to find their answers… But for some reason all he could think of were boobs. And space ships… And frying pans? Why would he think of that? That was weird… There’s no way that’s relevant to anything that’s about to happen.

*Wait for it*

Fenris began driving his little motor bike around the group in a wide circle, his knees up to his ears and his arms between them on the tiny child-like handle bars. “It’s such a nice day out.” He said to no one in particular as he drove through the rubble and popcorn that littered the streets of whatever town this was. The fancy man, who was apparently some kind of pimp king or sheik from what Fenris could gather from all of the conversation, knocked out a woman with a blinged out umbrella and continued yelling.

Then a little to the left of the group, a little purple ball of yarn rolled onto the street and a tiny cat woman seemed ready to pounce on it. The tiny cat ladies pink hair waved in front of her adorable face as she seemed to notice something on another person in the arguing group… That was when she brandished a glorious golden frying pan in the shape of a gold fish and slammed it down on the face of a woman with a fish hook on her head.

*Hahahaha… Cause fish… And fish hook… hahaha…*

“Holy shit… She got knocked the *beep* out!” Fenris said, still circling on his familiar/motorbike.

The tiny ladies cat ears furrowed cutely for a moment and then she smiled and introduced herself as Koko. A few people in the gaggle of peons just stared at her and the fancy pimp king acknowledged her immense thwack to the fish hook woman only to be bullrushed by another stranger. The new man being sat down and placed the kitty lady in his lap and started petting her.

“Wooow… This just got awkward for everybody.” Fenris said.

The fancy pimp king jumped into a cart that looked like a giant cod piece, which Fenris held a large amount of respect for him for having, and drove over to Fenris brandishing a CD.


“It’s your compilation album. Best road rage music ever.” He said and then tore off down the road.

“Wooooot!” Fenris exclaimed excitedly. “It begins.!” Fenris revved the tiny motorbikes engine and rode over to the cat woman sitting uncomfortably in the weird guys lap. “Come tiny cat woman!” He said as he drove by them and grabbing her arm and throwing her on his shoulders so she could sit upon them. “We must away! We cannot allow fancy pimp king Jorge Guiermmo De La Chullapa to face these trials alone! We have deuche bags to smite!!!” And Fenris rode off.

[Sariel of Tevet]

"It's Koko," The cat girl replied to Cale, his joke flying completely over her head (as most things did, given her diminutive size). The Dayman sang a few bars of the same song and scratched her chin.

"Nyaaan~ No, wait! Stop that, you!" Koko blushed furiously, having been caught in kitten mode yet again.

"KITTY!"

"Nyan?" Was the only yelp that could escape her as she was placed in another man's lap. This one clearly had some issues upstairs.

Who's a good kitty?"

"I am! Wait, nyaaarrgh, stop it!"

"Well this just got extremely awkward for everyone involved. Off to the next checkpoint!"

"How do you think I feel?!" Koko yelped, then turned her eyes to the man who was now rubbing her ears, "A little to the left, if you don't mind... Dammit." She sulked a few moments before being thrown onto a man's shoulders.

“We must away! We cannot allow fancy pimp king Jorge Guiermmo De La Chullapa to face these trials alone! We have deuche bags to smite!!!”

"Is that really his name? WAIT UP CHALLUPA MAN! I WISH TO SMITE YOU!"

Scarlet stared after them, blinking a few times, "That happened." She wandered back over to Vespi and perched lightly on the bike, "You drive, I'll wreck peoplethings."

[Sariel of Tevet]

Interference Team

When Koko anticlimactically defeated Xienghen Agetev, the Checkpoint System AI beeped and booped a few times. “Checkpoint boss defeated. Checkpoint cleared. Error, Error. Checkpoint #3 corruption still unresolved. Race data redirected to Checkpint #5.”

Vespi growled, pointedly ignoring Koko and Hakuzo and Pullio and the Dayman. She grumbled to herself, at Scarlet, and then at the castle in the distance.

“Come on, Gerihald…hurry. We’re running out of checkpoints.”

Infiltration Team

“This…ridiculous!” Momentarily forgetting himself, Geirhald swelled to the size of the room, the roar emanating from his body enough to drown out the shouts of those around him. With an actual roar from him, he punched through the ceiling and tore it apart, causing pieces of it to fall in a haphazard ramp that lead them back up to the main floor.

Haley had put her hands over her ears during the commotion, so when the Atmosfaerie shrank back down, she sighed and ran a hand down her face. “Um. Geirhald.”

“I…sorry…I…”

“No no. You did good, it just…well…stealth?”

The sandstorm shook his form. “Running…out…time…”

Haley began picking herself over the rubble. “Well…maybe we’ll lucky,” she offered, more to herself than anyone else. “Maybe no one heard. Maybe they’re all heavy sleepers – or deaf! Or Opheia sent them all out into the city or…” she trailed off upon reaching the top. “Or…”

Waiting for them was a young woman, probably not much younger than Haley herself, in a short yellow and red dress, with bright red hair, and piercing blue eyes staring out unblinking from a stoic face.

“Or…”

“It’s good to see you again, Haley Cavandish.” The woman didn’t speak. Instead, the voice came from the strange rectangular weapon she held to her chest, protectively (or maybe for comfort).

“Or…”

“Has it really been so long?”

“Or…”

By that time, Geirhald had made his way to the top. The sandstorm looked curiously from Haley to the other woman, and back. “Haley…who…?”

“Or we could find my little sister waiting for us.”