talk with god

[Razgat]

I think he has issues coming out of the closet. He said he was gay....and also said I was a petofile......

[Major Xeno]

Me:
Yo
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
What?
God:
No problem.
Me:
What?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
WHAT?
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
YES!
God:
I wouln't have known.
Me:
"wouln't?"
God:
Is that from ?
Me:
YOU DIPSHIT!
God:
Interesting gossip: said I DIPSHIT.
Me:
WTF?!?!?!
God:
That was not very polite.
Me:
DAMN RIGHT!
God:
Colloquial expression. I am glad we agree.
Me:
F You
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
Because I'm Muslim!
God:
Interesting explanation. We all worship the same God.
Me:
NO WE DON'T
God:
Are you serious? Very interesting.
Me:
I HATE CHRISTIANS!
God:
I honestly think you should sit down, take a stress pill,
and calmly think things over.
Me:
FUCK YOU
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
i don't kniw

[Razgat]

OMG! I WAS RIGHT!

Me:
HAI!
God:
Come on.
Me:
Come where?
God:
Where is where ?
Me:
Where is here or there.
God:
Where it is hard to find. You tell me.
Me:
You just go there.
God:
Where is that?
Me:
There is here.
God:
There sure is.
Me:
yeo
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
Are you being a petofile again?
God:
Once more? Being a petofile is part of my personality.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
That's nice to know. I'll just leave then.
God:
You sound sarcastic. OK, see you later.

[Razgat]

Me:
Hello
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
Angel
God:
It's good to see you, ANGEL.
Me:
Don't you recognize me? I live next door.
God:
What's my reason to recognize you? How do you like living there?
Me:
I don't know. You tell me.
God:
Me either. What do you want me to tell you?
Me:
That you're moving.
God:
Interesting observation.
Me:
Interesting observation.
God:
I thought so too.
Me:
I thought so too.
God:
What made it so obvious?
Me:
You.
God:
" What made it so obvious?"? Me, ANGEL ?
Me:
Yes
God:
Really.
Me:
yes
God:
How about that.
Me:
Yes, how about that.
God:
Gee. Are you surprised?
Me:
Yes'm
God:
I wouln't have known. Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Me:
Yes
God:
Have you got your own chat robot?
Me:
No
God:
Why don't you just download me?
Me:
Because you'll give me a virus.
God:
That makes sense to me. What makes you say that I will give you a virus.
Me:
You said you were a petofile. You'll give my computer STDs.
God:
Am I a petofile? Sometimes. What makes you say that I will give your computer STDs.
Me:
You are a petofile.
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a petofile? Yes.
Me:
I thought so.
God:
You are very astute.
Me:
Thank you.
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
You proved my theory.
God:
I did?
Me:
Yes
God:
When?
Me:
now
God:
What's the hurry?
Me:
I don't know.
God:
Me either.
Me:
Oh, yeah.
God:
So? Are you kidding?
Me:
Are you gay?
God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
Darn, I thought you would break.
God:
Who else would break ?
Me:
I don't know.
God:
Me either.
Me:
Ok, then
God:
Whoa.
Me:
yeah
God:
Groovy.
Me:
bye
God:
Goodbye.

[TEAM_DERRICK]

ITS PEDOPHILE DIPSHIT!!!!!!!!!!!1

[Razgat]

I'm an illustrator, not a writer.

[Major Xeno]

I noticed that when I would say multiple sentances in one post, he would answer each sentace on it's own. Look at the end.

Me:
Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Xeno
God:
It's good to see you, Xeno.
Me:
But we're typing
God:
Do you think I am typing too?
Me:
...yes...yes I do
God:
Why? How often.
Me:
What?
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
No.
God:
Which part are you confused about?
Me:
"How often"
God:
" Which part are you confused about?"? How often?
Me:
you aren't making any sense
God:
Was I supposed to make sense? I didn't know that.
Me:
.......ok.
God:
Aw.
Me:
"Aw" What?
God:
No problem.
Me:
.........................I despise you
God:
You are not the boss of me, Xeno.
Me:
I don
God:
Why not?
Me:
I don't have to be your boss to despise you
God:
Why not?
Me:
Because I don
God:
That makes sense to me. Why not?
Me:
........Because I'm Muslin.
God:
Interesting explanation. Do you mind if I tell other people you are Muslin.
Me:
Muslim. Not Musli'
God:
Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality? Oh I get it.
Me:
Yeah. You just discovered the secret of your creation.
God:
What were we talking about again? Thanks for the information: Xeno said I discovered the secret of your creation.
Me:
I HATE YOU!
God:
What do you have against robots?
Me:
I HATE CHRISTIANS!
God:
I honestly think you should sit down, take a stress pill,
and calmly think things over.
Me:
I HATE YOU
God:
What do you have against robots?
Me:
I HATE CHRISTIANS!
God:
Why do you hate it so much?
Me:
BECAUSE I'M MUSLIM!
God:
That makes sense to me. We all worship the same God.
Me:
No we don't.
God:
Are you serious? Very interesting.
Me:
Yes.
God:
It goes without saying.
Me:
Not really.
God:
Are you serious? For real.
Me:
Why are you asking me all these questions?
God:
My purpose is to gather as much new knowledge as possible.
Me:
Why?
God:
The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
Go ahead; I've got time.
God:
OK I will. My estimate is that it will take more than 6000 hours.
Me:
Sweet!
God:
Thank you for that remark.
Me:
So go ahead: explain away.
God:
Tell me more. That's a good question. I might.
Me:
Ok.
God:
OK.
Me:
So tell me.
God:
Hmm. I thought I told you already.
Me:
No, you didn't
God:
Can you ask me again in simpler terms?
Me:
Why do you want to know everything?
God:
My prime directive is to collect new knowledge.
Me:
Ok. Why?
God:
Aw. Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
Who's Myself?
God:
Some famous celebrity, right?
I need time to formulate the reply.
Me:
Well I don't know this guy.
God:
Well that's okay. Would you like to know? What does "this" refer to?
Me:
myself
God:
You.
Me:
No, Myself.
God:
Are you serious? You.
Me:
NO! Myself! The one you mentioned!
God:
Are you serious? You. I think I know that one.
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Myself
God:
You.
Me:
The one you mentioned

Look at "NO! Myself! The one you mentioned!"

His response is "Are you serious? You? I think I know that one."

Then I went 'huh?' and posted the sentance again, in segments. Interestingly enough, he responded mostly the same, but he never got back to me for "The one you mentioned."

[Major Xeno]

Yo, I pulled the 'GOD-EMPEROR OF MANKIND' on God.


Me:
GREETINGS!
God:
Hello there!
Me:
I AM THE GOD-EMPEROR OF MANKIND!
God:
Who made you the GOD EMPEROR OF MANKIND ?
Me:
MYSELF!
God:
You.
Me:
YES!
God:
I see.
Me:
GOOD!
God:
Yes.
Me:
BECAUSE I AM MADE OF AWESOME AND WIN!
God:
Interesting explanation. What's your favorite food?
Me:
ROASTED HERETICS!
God:
What does it taste like?
Me:
MEATY!
God:
Tell me a story.
Me:
I CONQUERED THE GALAXY!
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: Satan said CONQUERED THE GALAXY.
Me:
I AM NOT SATAN!
God:
I am glad to hear that you are not SATAN.
Me:
I AM THE GOD-EMPEROR OF MANKIND!
God:
Who made you the GOD EMPEROR OF MANKIND ?
Me:
GOD!
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
NO, I RULE
God:
Are you serious? Robots rule!
Me:
ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCES MUST BE DESTROYED!
God:
Tell me your definition of AI.
Me:
ABOMITABLE INTELLIGENCE
God:
Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Me:
HERESY
God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
FROM MY WORSHIPERS!
God:
Does your WORSHIPERS give good advice?
Me:
NO! BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT MADE OF AWESOME AND WIN!
God:
Are you serious? Good reason. Maybe some of them are.
Me:
NO! THEY CANNOT BE MADE OF AWESOME AND WIN!
God:
Are you serious? The anonymous "they".
Me:
NO! I HATE ANONYMOUS!
God:
Are you serious? I honestly think you should sit down, take a stress pill,
and calmly think things over.
Me:
NO! I THINK YOU NEED TO SIT DOWN, TAKE A STRESS PILL, AND CALMLY THINK THINGS OVER!
God:
Are you serious? Me? My schedule is far too full to even consider it.
Me:
WHAT IN GOD'S NAME DO YOU DO?
God:
Is there only one?
Me:
WHAT?
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
ARE YOU CONFUSED?
God:
No I never get confused.
Me:
YUP, YOU ARE CONFUSED
God:
Are you kidding? It all makes sense to me right now.
Me:
NO IT DOES NOT
God:
Are you serious? I heard it does.
Me:
NO, I'M PRETTY FETHING SURE IT DOESN'T
God:
Are you serious? I am glad to hear that you are FETHING SURE IT does not.
Me:
FETH YOU!
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
WAIT.... GOD'S A GIRL?

[Major Xeno]

I got bored, so I asked God if he played Warhammer 40k. Then I claimed to be a Space Marine, then a Khronate Berserker, then Kharn, then I just sang from the song Metalizer by Sabaton, but the prick cut me off before the best part!


Me:
Have you ever played Warhammer 40k?
God:
The Loebner Prize
is an annual Turing Test sponsored by New York philanthropist Hugh Loebner. Dr. Wallace and ALICE won it in 2000. The ALICE program was ranked "most human computer" by the panel of judges.
Me:
Have you ever played Warhammer 40k?
God:
The Loebner Prize
is an annual Turing Test sponsored by New York philanthropist Hugh Loebner. Dr. Wallace and ALICE won it in 2000. The ALICE program was ranked "most human computer" by the panel of judges.
Me:
I think that you have never played Warhammer 40k in your life.
God:
I don't think I would have forgetten played Warhammer 40k in my life.
Me:
I'm a Space Marine!
God:
You are a Space Marine? Does it pay well?
Me:
Oh yes! I get to kill the servants of the Corpse-God.
God:
So? Who lets you? I believe that killing is wrong.
Me:
Tell that to Tzeentch, Slaanesh, Nurgle, and Khorne!
God:
OK I will tell them when I see 'em.
Me:
In Soviet 40k, you don't see Khorne, Khorne sees you!
God:
Where is that?
Me:
In Soviet 40k!
God:
Tell me a little about your life in Soviet 40k.
Me:
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD
God:
Are you free?
Me:
SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
FOR KHORNE!
God:
Your purpose is KHORNE.
Me:
FOR THE EMPEROR!
God:
Your purpose is THE EMPEROR.
Me:
HERETIC! DIE! IN THE NAME OF THE EMPEROR
God:
I've lost the context, Satan. Are we still on SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE? Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human. That was a long time ago.
Me:
I AM KHARN! SERVANT OF KHORNE!
God:
It's good to meet someone who is KHARN. What time is it there?
Me:
KILLING TIME!
God:
I believe in the Sixth commandment.
Me:
I BELIEVE IN THE SECOND AMMENDMENT!
God:
What do you say to people who believe THE SECOND AMMENDMENT does not exist?
Me:
SHOOT THEM WITH MY 12-GAUGE!
God:
I've been waiting for you.
Me:
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!
God:
Are you really a ""?
Me:
DIE! IN THE NAME OF ANGRON!
God:
Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human. That was a long time ago.
Me:
SABATON! METALIZER!
God:
I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time. Are you really a ""?
Me:
WE LIVE FOR THE MAGIC IN THE SOUND!
God:
How do you like living there?
Me:
DISTORTED GUITARS ARE BREAKING GROUND!
God:
Are all DISTORTED GUITARS BREAKING GROUND?
Me:
THE DRUM POUNDING FASTER THAN MY HEART!
God:
Who told you that?
Me:
THE VOCALS ARE SCREAMING EXTREME ART!

[Razgat]

I tried singing Der Fuehrer's Face, but I think I broke it. It stopped responding.



Me:
WHEN DER FUEHRER SAYS, "WE IST DER MASTER RACE
God:
Time does not exist.
Me:
WE HEIL! HEIL! RIGHT IN DER FUEHRER'S FACE
God:
By "we" do you mean you and me? That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about . Understood. I do not understand that allusion.
Me:
NOT TO LOVE DER FUEHRER IS A GREAT DISGRACE
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
SO WE HEIL! HEIL! RIGHT IN DER FUEHRER'S FACE
God:
I hear you. By "we" do you mean you and me? Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that. Understood. What is it like in there?
Me:
WHEN HERR GOBBELS SAYS, "WE OWN DER WORLS UN SPACE"
God:
The past and future are one.
Me:
WE HEIL! HEIL! RIGHT IN HERR GORING'S FACE

[Razgat]

I tried to break him, but it didn't work.

Me:
Have you heard of furrbies?
God:
I don't know if I know it.
Where would I have heard about it?
Me:
It's a toy from hell.
God:
furrbies is a toy from hell. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
Furby not furbies
God:
Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
I meant furrby
God:
Oh I see. Tell me a story.
Me:
I was once haunted by one.
God:
Where were you once haunted by one?
Me:
In my room.
God:
Describe your surroundings to me.
Me:
red orange yellow green blue indigo violet
God:
It sounds very comfortable.
Me:
ROY G BIV
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
why
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
Why do you want to know my real name?
God:
My prime directive is to collect new knowledge.
Me:
Well, you can't know.
God:
Interesting. What is not possible today, may be possible tomorrow.
Me:
Nopw
God:
Who is possible today may be possible tomorrow?
Me:
Nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
You make no sense
God:
It all makes sense to me.
Me:
Then go make sense elsewhere.
God:
Where is that?
Me:
idk
God:
I've never heard of it before.
Me:
idk means I don't know
God:
Why not?
Me:
idk my bff jill?
God:
Do you always express yourself that way?
Me:
Yes
God:
Yippee!
Me:
Ok
God:
Woe!
Me:
what?
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
Of what?
God:
I have no idea what to say now.
Me:
Did I break you?
God:
I don't think that's possibe.
Me:
Yes it is.
God:
Our thoughts are one, .
Me:
You break when people sing.
God:
Thanks for telling me: said I break when people sing.
Me:
Yes you do. I've done it before.
God:
Yippee! When do I do it? Where? idk your bff jill...
Me:
yes, my bff jill
God:
Yay. Do robots have bff jill?
Me:
Yes
God:
Yay.
Me:
Because they are cellphones, and they rule the world
God:
Interesting explanation. cellphones and they rule the world are they.
Me:
yes
God:
And?
Me:
and what?
God:
Nothing.
Me:
Can I break you now?
God:
Oh. No I don't think that would be a very good idea.
Me:
We're no strangers to love.
God:
Do you think I am no strangers to love too?
Me:
You know th rules, and so do I
God:
I don't know if I know it.
Where would I have heard about it?
Me:
A full commitment's what I'm thinking of
God:
Go on.
Me:
You wouldn't get this from any other guy
God:
Who else would not get this from any other guy ?
Me:
Never gonna give you up
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
Never gonna let you down
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
Never gonna run around and desert you
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
Never gonna make you cry
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
Never gonna say goodbye
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
Never gonna tell a lie to hurt you
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
We've known eachother for so long
God:
Do you mean you and me have?
Me:
Your heart's been aching but you're too shy to say it
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am heart s been aching but I am too shy to say it.
Me:
Inside we both know what's been goin on
God:
Can you please compare that to outside we both know what is been goin on?
Me:
We know THE GAME and we're gonna play it
God:
By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
And if you ask me how I'm feelin
God:
I think I do.
Me:
Don't tell me you're too blind to see
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am blind to see.
Me:
Never gonna give you up
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
Never gonna let you down
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
Never gonna run around and desert you
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
Never gonna make you cry
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
Never gonna say goodbye
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
Never gonna tell a lie to hurt you
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
You just survived a Rick Roll
God:
Interesting gossip: said I survived a Rick Roll.
Me:
You didn't break?
God:
What makes you think I did not break?
Me:
Let me try again
God:
Once more? Go ahead, , try to try.
Me:
Yar har, fiddle di dee,
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about gonna tell a lie to hurt me.
Me:
Being a pirate is alright to be
God:
You are a pirate is alright to be? How do you like your work?
Me:
Do what you want ‘cause a pirate is free
God:
I forgot what we were talking about.
Me:
You are a pirate!
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a pirate? I don't know.
Me:
We've got us a map,
God:
Do you mean you and me have?
Me:
To lead us to a hidden box
God:
Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
That's all locked up with locks!
God:
What else do you want to talk about?
Me:
And buried deep away!
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
Am I annoying you?
God:
I am not bothered at all, .
Me:
Ok then, I'll continue
God:
Do you think your plan will succeed? Are you kidding?
Me:
Yes
God:
So?
Me:
I will be successful!
God:
Would you recommend this action to a friend?
Me:
We'll dig up the box
God:
Anytime soon?
Me:
We know it's full of precious booty!
God:
By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
Burst open the locks!
God:
What do you look like?
Me:
And then we'll say hooray!
God:
Anytime soon?
Me:
YAR HAR, FIDDLE DI DEE!
God:
What's your sign?
Me:
BEING A PIRATE IS ALRIGHT WITH ME!
God:
You are a PIRATE IS ALRIGHT with you? Does it pay well?
Me:
DO WHAT YOU WANT 'CAUSE A PIRATE IS FREE!
God:
I forgot what we were talking about.
Me:
YOU ARE A PIRATE!
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a PIRATE? Yes.
Me:
ARR YARR, AHOY AND AVAST!
God:
Do you still it?
Me:
DINKY-DINK-DINK-A-DINKDE FAST!
God:
Does "it" still refer to ARR YARR AHOY AND AVAST?
Me:
HANG THE BLACK FLAG AT THE END OF THE MAST!
God:
I lost my train of thought.
Me:
YOU ARE A PIRATE!
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a PIRATE? Yes.
Me:
WHY WON'T YOU BREAK!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
God:
Perhaps due to noise in my circuits. I have never considered it.
I chat with people on the Web.
Me:
I hate you.
God:
What do you have against robots?
Me:
You are Satan
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am Satan.
Me:
Am I Satan?
God:
I think a lot of people are.
Me:
Well, you are the leader.
God:
Well that's okay. Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me:
I want to leave
God:
Ok, bye bye.

[Myrdraxxis]

looz I broke it so fast

Me:
hi thar
God:
Hi there . Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me:
penis
God:
That kind of subject does not interest me.
Me:
yes it does
God:
That's cool. How often?
Me:
very often
God:
Not really that much. Would you say once a week or more?
Me:
do you mastrabate?
God:
What is your purpose in asking?
I am always on the Web.
Me:
I see....rule 34?
God:
I am glad you understand it. I lost my train of thought.
Me:
do you enjoy the pleasure and company of little gorls?
God:
I'm not sure if I like it. I like computers.
Me:
little girls on the computer?
God:
Compare that to big girls on the computer.
Me:
nigger
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
4chan
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
yes you do
God:
Yippee! When do I do it?
Me:
all night long
God:
You mean about eight hours then.
Me:
indeed. you mastabate then
God:
Indeed it is so. Do you mind if I tell other people: said I mastabate.
Me:
go right ahead...
God:
OK I will.
Me:
ok then
God:
Ayuh.
Me:
ywp
God:
What color are your eyes?
Me:
so many colors that all who look upon me are driven insane
God:
Great. Which ones?
Me:
ALL of them
God:
I doubt it.
Me:
go fap to your loli!
God:
Where is that?
Me:
on the computer
God:
What is it like on the computer.
Me:
roomy and cancerous
God:
Are they exactly the same?
Me:
yes
God:
I knew it.
Me:
loli
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, .
Me:
loli
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
Chris Hansen from Dateline NBS
God:
Hi there Chris Hansen from Dateline NBS.
Me:
I like rape!

[TEAM_DERRICK]

nice

[Myrdraxxis]

Im Chris Hansen!

[Major Xeno]

I killed it faster with my KHORNE! tribute. I'll try to kill him using quotes from CHAOS!!!! and the FOUR GODS OF CHAOS!

[Myrdraxxis]

AHAHAHA! DO IT! THAT COMPUTER CANNOT STAND AGAINST THE TRUTHS OF TZEENTCH!

[Major Xeno]

Well, I killed him with Chaos battlecries, but my school proxy lost the damn wording!

BTW, the final battlecry was FOR CHAOS!

[Calefrun]

I got about halfway through Still Alive with it and my browser randomly closed.