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Post by Calefrun on Jun 14, 2013 23:25:04 GMT -5
"Stella, Fluffy, I think Lady might be mad :c" Cale noted.
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Post by Mizagium on Jun 15, 2013 0:57:29 GMT -5
With Giana sufficiently defeated, Stella released her death grip on Mistah Jangles, did a backflip, and landed right in front of Aurora.
"Don't be mad, Lady. We only found the Super Scooter because Dem Bones drugged us. Fancy Shiny" she indicated Chancellor Awesome "was doing his bestest to move us along, Honest!"
GOLDBEZ STOPPED DANCING. SO DID THE BADGERS AND THE FLOWERS. HE SNAPPED HIS FUNKY FINGERS AND THEY ALL DISAPPEARED INTO A FRESHLY CREATED POCKET DIMENSION: THE GOLDEN HALLS OF DANCE.
"BUT NOW THAT I TOOK ALL THE DRUGS, I BET I CAN FLY US TO WHEREVER IT IS WE NEED TO GO."
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Post by Monika on Jun 19, 2013 16:28:37 GMT -5
Aurora, who had released most of her anger into the punch/fire breath that had thoroughly defeated Giana, pulled down her hood, buried her face in her palms and screamed for a few seconds, the last of her aggression escaping as she opened her mouth. "Fine," she sighed. "I'll take your word for it. Chancellor Awesome won't be losing his job today."
The Chancellor briefly glanced toward the sky and mouthed the words 'Thank you'.
"Now, Chancellor. Tell us where we need to go in order to get the next Scroll of Science. Preferably before I lose my temper, hm?" Aurora smiled, though it was a forced smile that poorly masked (and perhaps even intensified) the viciousness in her speech and demeanor.
"Um, yes, milady. Well, we should first return to Her Majesty, Princess Sarah, to let her know her forest problem-
"Remind me to punish you all for doing side quests for foreign royalty before quests for your own Empress," she interrupted.
"Of course, milady." Chancellor Awesome nodded and continued. "As you may already know, the next Scroll of Science is in the hands of William Cauldwell, director of C.O.M.A.S. He said he'd hand it over to us in exchange for Really Cool Land's True Sword. I doubt Her Majesty would be willing to part with it, so hopefully she has thought of a better plan of action during our absence."
"Fair enough," Aurora replied as she magicked her arm back to its normal, non-draconic complexion. "Let's not waste any more time. To Really Cool Land!"
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Post by Mizagium on Jun 19, 2013 17:10:40 GMT -5
Ignoring that the party was already indeed in Really Cool Land, Stella and Goldbez saddled up.
Stella hopped on her UFO, which had been strangely absent during the drug trip, and began zooming around Aurora and Chancellor Awesome shouting, "Let's go let's go let's go let's go let's go let's go let's go let's go let's go let's go let's go let's go let's go let's go let's go let's go let's go let's go let's go let's go let's go let's go let's go let's go let's go let's go let's go let's go let's go let's go let's go let's go let's go let's go let's go let's go let's go let's go let's go let's go let's go let's go let's go let's go let's go let's go let's go let's go let's go let's go let's go let's go let's go let's go let's go let's go let's go let's go let's go let's go let's go let's go let's go let's go let's go let's go let's go"
GOLDBEZ GRABBED HIS CROTCH AND THRUSTED. A PORTAL OPENED UP BEFORE THEM, FORM WHICH EMANATED THE SOUNDS OF SCRATCHED RECORDS AND TORTURED HIPTERS. "ALL ABOARD THE GOLDTRAIN!"
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Post by Calefrun on Jun 19, 2013 19:54:10 GMT -5
Cale, still struggling to keep his sanity in check, leapt into the air, did a frontflip, and landed on Stella's UFO. He stood there with arms crossed and not speaking a word, for fear that anything that would come out of his mouth would sound a little too... Stella. All the same, he figured that riding with her was at least better than inserting himself into GOLDBEZ's crotch portal.
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Post by Myrdraxxis on Jun 20, 2013 13:46:21 GMT -5
Azzi appeared in typical ninja fashion, on GOLDBEZ's shoulder. "Lead on!"
Sindri was pretty sure that he was deaf now. Unfortunately he had been standing too close to Mistah Jangles when he dropped the bass. THe results were literally ear-shattering.
Havoc Squad's sergeant, Niner, walked up to him and said something. Sindri just tilted his head in confusion. Niner gave a very animated sigh and pointed towards GOLDBEZ and the new portal waiting to take them to their next destination.
Sindri was contemplating just returning to Awesome Land and hoping Zais didn't turn him into paste for....well, he didn't exactly need a reason.
Then out of the corner of his eye Sindri spotted something. It was a cultist -an actual cultist, not an unfortunate hippy- slumped against a tree in obvious pain. Apparently trying to sneak up on them while Jangles unleashed dubstep hell had gone terribly wrong.
"...Take him back to Zais." Sindri commanded, only just beginning to get his hearing back. "Jangles and I will continue."
Jangles snorted -returned to his less eloquent and more violent self- and scooped Sindri up and on to his shoulder. The daemon strode purposefully....and loudly, through the portal.
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Post by Mizagium on Jun 22, 2013 0:05:29 GMT -5
GOLBEZ SEIZED THE CROTCH PORTAL WITH BOTH HANDS AND SHOOK IT VIGOROUSLY. UNFORTUNATELY, SINDRI AND MISTAH JANGLES HAD ALREADY STEPPED INSIDE. "YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE GONE IN THERE!" HE SHOUTED AT THEM. "THAT'S THE PORTAL TO THE HALL WHERE ALL THE TURRETS SCREAM AT YOU."
EAGER TO COVER UP HIS MISTAKE, GOLDBEZ ATE THE PORTAL. HE PULLED BACK HIS FACEGAURD AND SHOVED THE PORTAL INTO WHAT CAN ONLY BE ASSUMED TO BE HIS MOUTH. THE FACEGUARD CLOSED AND THERE COULD BE HEARD A SERIES OF LOUD CHOMPING NOISES. FOLLOWED BY A BELCH. AN EXTENDED, MANLY BELCH. A SEXY BELCH THAT MADE ALL THE LADIES SWOON. EVEN AURORA AND SARAH. BUT ESPECIALLY PERISH.
"WELL, THAT'S THAT."
GOLDBEZ WITH AZZI IN TOW, DID A BACK FLIP TRANSITION INTO A 720 BEFORE LANDING ON THE UFO, RIGHT BEHIND CALE.
"WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING, JUNIOR APPRENTICE? YOUR TRAINING HAD NOT YET BEGUN."
-
Meanwhile, somewhere in the hills, or the trees or wherever, a lone figure centered her scope. She wore thick camouflage and a headband to keep the hair out of her eyes and from blowing in the wind. She was set up on the crest of a hill, lying on her stomach. Her rifle seemed strangely out of place in Really Cool Land, all science fictiony and fizz.
"There you are," she muttered as the cross-hairs found her target. "Alright, Stella, nice and easy..."
"What the hell is this?"
Daar Lorra sighed heavily. "Go away, Blanche, I'm working."
"Obviously." She appeared in front of the gun in a cloud of Dark Energy. "I'll ask again: What the hell s this?"
With great exasperation, Daar sat up. "This, my ninja friend, is a bounty hunt. Dead or alive, I bring her back, I get paid. Easy enough? Now move."
Blanche frowned. "Her? Stella? Are you here to kill Stella?"
Daar threw up her hands. "I don't know, Blanche, you tell me. Why would I, a famous and highly skilled bounty hunter, be here if not for hunting the highest bounty I will likely ever see in my entire life?"
"Who put a bounty on her?"
"Are you going to let me do this or am I going to have to shoot you, too?"
"You're not shooting Stella with...is that a-?"
"A quasar rifle, yes." Daar Lorra got down and lined up the shot again.
"You'll vaporize her!"
"No no, I turned the intensity waaaay down. All I'm going to do it burn a little hole through her head and collect the body. Bounty is almost twice for her dead because, you know, it's Stella."
Daar pulled the trigger, but Blanche kicked the rifle, sending the beam off into the distance.
"What was that for?"
"You're not killing Stella."
"What? You want to? Cuz I gotta tell you, I'm a little poor right now. The Clan Heads don't pay my salary anymore."
"Something's wrong about this whole thing."
"I don't care. Get out of my way."
"Listen! Stella...she's different."
Daar Lorra blinked. Hard. "Blanche, sweety, we've known Stella was different since Academy."
"Not like that...ugh. I mean, she's worse. Magnitudes worse. She's like a child now. Like someone messed with her head."
Daar Lorra massaged her temples. "Blanche..."
"I'm serious! Would I even bother with you if it wasn't important?"
"Wow, thanks. That makes me feel so good about myself right now." She sucked in air through her teeth. "God and Goddess, Blanche, what's going on?"
Blanche told her everything she knew: About Stella's theft of the UFO from Far Out Research & Development, about how she'd tracked her across Awesome Land, about how Goldbez gyrated that bar out of existence, leaving out the making out part. She finished with, "But the more I've watcher her, the more I realize she's changed for the worse. She's gone completely insane."
Daar Lorra sat down in the grass. "So, then, what are we going to do?"
Blanche started to say something, stopped, and grinned. "Are you...actually deferring to me?"
"Want me to kill her?"
"Sorry, couldn't resist. We need to find out what's going on."
"Obviously." She got up, picked up her quasar rifle and started away. "You stay here and keep an eye on your girlfriend."
Blanche blushed. "Where are you going?"
"I'm gonna put the old team back together."
"I don't think that's a good idea. Do I need to remind you why we broke up in the first place?"
Daar Lorra rolled her eyes. "Are you still mad about that? I'm sorry I slept with Moon Kight, ok? Gods!"
"You slept with my boyfriend! Of course I'm still mad."
"You were going to break up with him anyway!"
"So?"
"Ugh. Whatever. Stay here. I have work to do." She retrieved an electronic key from her pocket and clicked it. A spaceship that looked very much like a fighter jet, but bigger, appeared. The Skyskate was old and patched together with duct tape and prayers, but she flew. Blanche watched it take off and disappear into the sky.
"Don' worry, Stella, we'll find out what happened to you."
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Post by Monika on Jun 22, 2013 1:15:53 GMT -5
It would be known far and wide that Aurora did not swoon. Empresses do not swoon. And neither do Grand Imperatrices, for that matter. What they occasionally did do, however, was have anger-induced momentary lapses of memory, causing them to temporarily forget the full extent of their powers.
"Chancellor?" Aurora addressed her second-in-command, subtle undertones of anger gracing her voice.
"Um...yes, milady?" The Chancellor hesitantly replied.
"What in the world am I doing?"
"I...beg your pardon, Aurora? I'm afraid I don't understand." Chancellor Awesome braced himself for another of Aurora's rampages, anticipating that he had given the wrong answer.
"Just answer the question," she said, a forced calm attempting to displace the anger.
"Well, right now you and I are following these adventurers. Back to the Really Cool Palace, I suppose."
"And why are we doing that?" She tapped her foot impatiently.
"Because we need to...Oh. Ooooooooh. I get it. Ready when you are, milady."
"I have half a mind to leave you here to keep track of these fools," she said, pointing her index finger behind her. Waves of dark energy (not to be confused with Far Out's Dark Energy) began to concentrate at its tip.
"No, Aurora, please! You can't! Really, milady, I didn't-" Chancellor Awesome's normally calm and proper manner of speech devolved into a string of unintelligible gibberish as he tried to rattle off reasons as to why he shouldn't have to deal with the group any longer. Most of the reasons amounted to "nothing could be more painful than being stuck with those heroes for another minute."
"-but since you've proven yourself to be incapable of your job," she continued, "I'll be dragging you along with me."
Chancellor Awesome winced. Apparently, something could hurt worse. Deciding not to dwell on it, he answered "Fair enough, milady. Shall we?"
"Let's." The waves of energy at Aurora's fingertip erupted into a swirling mass of darkness. To the initiated watcher, it was clearly a portal of some sort. "I'll be seeing you all later," she said to GOLDBEZ, Cale and company as she waved and stepped into the portal. "Assuming I'm unlucky, that is."
"What Her Imperial Majesty means to say is 'farewell'." Chancellor Awesome quickly bowed toward the crew and stepped through the portal as well. The portal closed behind them as the two disappeared...
...and reappeared inside Really Cool Land's castle.
"Let's go find Sarah before any more of this nonsense interrupts us. Seraphina forbid that happens, or I might have to kill someone." Aurora spoke and, from the tone of her voice, she wasn't joking.
"Of course." With a gulp and a short prayer, Chancellor Awesome led Aurora up the palace steps to locate the princess.
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Post by Mizagium on Jun 22, 2013 1:33:34 GMT -5
Luckily for Chancellor Awesome, Sarah was already out and about in the palace. Having just bid farewell to Knox, she was in quite the good mood. "Oh, Chancellor Awesome and...Imperatrix Aurora!" She quickly composed herself. "Ah, welcome to uh the palace. Of Really Cool Land. I...on behalf of my parents, the uh, King and Queen of..." She paled, her good mood fading. "How can I help you?"
-----
"Pretty Lady left us," Stella observed casually. "I think she wants us to chase her." She revved up the UFO with a series of complicated petals and knobs that appeared before her. "Team Friendship, prepare for blast off!"
The UFO sped forward at 69vpm. "Shiny2!" Stella chastised. "That's inappropriate!"
"YOU CAN'T KEEP ALL THIS MAN CONTAINED!" HE WAS STANDING UP INSTEAD OF SITTING LIKE THE OTHERS, RUNNING HIS HANDS ALL OVER HIMSELF. "SOMETIMES I'M TOO MUCH FOR EVEN MYSELF. AND WHEN THAT HAPPENS, I JUST GOTTA LET IT OT SOMEHOW."
HE JUMPED OFF THE UFO, GRABBED IT, AND THREW IT WITH ALL HIS DRUG-HAZE ENHANCED STRENGTH, MAKING IT SOMEHTING LIKE 777 VPM. THEN HE FLEW AFTER IT. NOT JUST FLEW, HE THRUSTED FORWARD AND ALLOWED HIS GROIN TO CARRY HIM THROUGH THE AIR, CROTCH FIRST. WHEN HE CAUGHT UP TO THE UFO, THEY WERE SOMEWHERE OVER GROOVY LAND.
"DON'T LOOK DOWN!"
HE SOMERSAULTED IN FRONT OF THE OUT OF CONTROL UFO AND KICKED IT BACK TOWARDS REALLY COOL LAND BY FLIPPING BACKWARDS AND CONNECTING BOTH HIS FEET WITH THE UNDERSIDE. THE HE DANCED HIS WAY THROUGH A PORTAL AND ARRIVED IN TIME TO CATCH IT AND SET IT DOWN "GENTLY". BY WHICH I MEAN HE THREW IT AND IT CRASHED THROUGH THE NEAREST WINDOW.
THE UFO AND EVERYONE ON IT ARRIVED AT THE FEET OF AURORA AND SARAH AND CHANCELLOR AWESOME.
ESPECIALLY GOLDBEZ WHO ASSUMED THE SEXY POSE AND AIMED IT AT THE TWO ROYAL LADIES. "YOU LIKE?"
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Post by Monika on Jun 22, 2013 1:48:17 GMT -5
Opting not to bother giving GOLDBEZ a reply, Aurora gave her best smile to Sarah and all-too-sincerely asked "How do you keep yourself from violently exploding in a fit of rage?"
"And while you think about that, Your Majesty," Chancellor Awesome bowed, "I shall inform you that we have dealt with the cultists in the Southern Forest." He paused. After an awkward second or two, he decided not to delve into the details of the mission and continued. "We have secured Really Cool Land's Scroll of Science. Now, I believe you said that you should have a plan worked out by this time. A plan to get the Scroll of Science from William Cauldwell. One that doesn't involve your handing the True Sword over to him, presumably."
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Post by Calefrun on Jun 22, 2013 1:53:24 GMT -5
Cale rolled off of the UFO and stumbled to his feet. Successfully managing to keep his sanity in check for the time being, he said nervously, "Errr... Hello princess. We... uhh... took care of the cultists." He paused before adding, "Hello again, Grand Imperatrix. Chancellor."
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Post by Myrdraxxis on Jun 22, 2013 1:57:45 GMT -5
"There weren't nearly as many cultists as we thought there would be." Azzi spoke up, jumping from the UFO and landing rather gracefully. Actually, it was the most damn graceful thing anyone had ever seen. Ninja agility as well as vampire classiness made Azzi poetry in fucking motion.
"Most of them were actually hippies."
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Post by Calefrun on Jun 22, 2013 2:01:12 GMT -5
Cale winced at Azzi's words. He was hoping to leave out the bit about the hippies. "Man," he muttered, "Vamp is crazy."
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Post by Mizagium on Jun 23, 2013 22:50:16 GMT -5
Sarah managed to utter a smile and giggled at herself. She hadn't really expected them to return so soon. Or...ever. Seriously. Usually people like them got distracted on the way and found a new quest and never returned. That's kind of what happened to her when she chased Leon down for the stolen Beauty Mirror.
"Ah yes. Right. I see. So, here's what I was thinking." She stopped. "Follow me. You said the William is a master mage-type guy, right?" She hadn't really listened to the specifics. She waved her hand dismissively as she led Aurora and C. Awesome down a set of stairs to an underground chamber. "Well, even his powers should be susceptible to the illusions of the False Shield. My plan, then, is to disguise the False Shield as the True Sword...and have you hand it to him. Then, when he hands you the Scroll, we use the True Sword to take it back and make off with both." She casually waved her hand over a rippling panel, which triggered a stone wall to open, revealing another chamber. Four pedestals awaited, each bearing one of the Artifacts of Wisdom.
"The True Sword's power cuts through all enchantments, even one such as William Cauldwells."
She retrieved the False Shield and the True Sword, examined them both, and invoked their magic. Nothing outward happened, but both Artifacts shimmered. The Sword became a simple hair clip, which she tucked into her hair. The Shield became the True Sword down to the very finest detail.
"And there you have it. Any questions?"
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Post by Monika on Jun 23, 2013 23:07:12 GMT -5
"That's..." Aurora began.
"...surprisingly devious!" Chancellor Awesome finished. "And you're certain this will work, Your Majesty?"
"And, more importantly, are you comfortable coming with us?" Aurora looked at Sarah up and down and frowned. She didn't know the princess too well, outside of the occasional diplomatic meeting such as this one. But she had heard plenty of stories about Sarah and was almost certain that the monarch-in-training was through with adventuring. "I don't want you to have to go out of your way for little old me."
"And I don't want you to have to deal with these vagabonds, Your Majesty. They can be quite a handful..." Chancellor Awesome thought about everything he had just been through. "More than that, actually," he added.
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Post by Mizagium on Jun 24, 2013 0:22:09 GMT -5
Sarah gave Aurora and Chancellor a look. "Haven't you heard of the adventures...er, shenanigans, I got into with Johnny and your brother? I was locked in the Veral Dimension for a year. I almost got absorbed into the Null-Void. I fought in the War of Four Kings. I fought against Seth and Knox's ex-girlfriend. I journeyed to collect the four elemental orbs, fought Karzem's super form and Seth's ridiculous battle forms. I was there during the whole..." she waved her hand vaguely at Aurora "you crisis in Awesome Land. Also, Johnny is my brother. I think I got this."
With a sigh, she beckoned them out of the chamber. "Besides, the Thundercougerfalconbirds keep the palace running basically without me. I think I can spare a short trip to Awesome Land."
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Post by Myrdraxxis on Jun 24, 2013 0:26:18 GMT -5
"aha, so they do know we exist." Azzi muttered, feeling somewhat self-satisfied at that. Judging from the way the air in the room shifted very....very slightly, the other vampire-ninja guards felt the same.
"Ah, I'd like to help if I can." he spoke up, joining Sarah. "Need any ninja type work done?"
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Post by Calefrun on Jun 24, 2013 0:33:54 GMT -5
Cale shrugged. "Call me crazy, but I feel like this isn't going to be as easy as it sounds. Actually, calling me crazy is probably a safe bet anyway. I think I feel another wave of it coming on." He crouched down and did a somersault. "Dude, awesome."
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Post by Monika on Jun 24, 2013 0:39:29 GMT -5
"Well, excuuuuuuse me, Princess." Aurora chuckled, shrugging. "I figured that after all those shenanigans of yours, you'd be more than content enough to stay put in Really Cool Land and leave adventuring to your brother." She dark energied another portal into existence behind her. "But, if you insist..." With a mischievous smile reminiscent of her own brother's, Aurora grabbed Sarah by the wrist and flung her through the portal. "Back to Awesome Land, Chancellor." She snapped her fingers, disabling the barrier she had placed around Awesome Land a number of pages ago, and jumped through the portal herself. Chancellor Awesome followed suit and once the three had disappeared the portal disappeared.
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Post by Calefrun on Jun 24, 2013 0:43:48 GMT -5
"Wait, did we just get left behind?" Cale did another somersault. "Actually yeah, that's probably for the best."
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