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Post by Monika on Mar 6, 2011 21:05:41 GMT -5
"Boy, the crowd's as tough as my calluses!" Giggles pulled the collar of his polka dotted shirt as if it were hot and gulped before trying again. "But enough about Really Cool Land. Let's talk about Special Land for a sec, eh? So the other day I was chillin' in Special Land, listenin' to a concert by Dragonforce. It was a pre-imprisonment concert for a few mafia members, some talking mackerel from the wrong side of town. Now, these are some angry, well armed sea creatures, so I'm worried they're gonna start shooting at any time. I decide that we need some more soothing music to calm their nerves. Naturally, I go up on stage and play with 'em. I pull a broken down keyboard out of my shirt and start jazzin' it up. I mean, I'm really gettin' into it! But the other guys don't like my playing at all. They think it's downright awful! So one of the band members stops in the middle of his solo, walks up to me and says:
'Your playing and your instrument both suck. They're as bad as those mafia members out there are. Seriously, there is literally no difference between the horrors of that thing you call a keyboard and the horrors those gangsters commit on a daily basis.'
And so I say to the guy, 'Actually pal, there is one difference. You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish!' Wuh ha! Wuh ha! Wuh ha!" Giggles slapped his knee again, clearly amused by his joke. Or at least he was good at pretending he was amused.
"Um...I'm going to go check on your father, Cale, to make sure the reservations are going alright. I'll let him use my Empress Discount." Aurora laughed nervously. "Uh...Bye!" Before hearing a response, she teleported out of there.
'Don't leave me alone here, Aurora...' Chancellor Awesome cringed as Aurora teleported, knowing that he would have to keep watch over the guests by himself.
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Post by Mizagium on Mar 6, 2011 21:08:34 GMT -5
Stella casually tossed a tomato at Giggles, although I have no idea where she got it from. "This sucks. We should go do something else. Vamp? Nurse? Other guy?"
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Post by Myrdraxxis on Mar 6, 2011 21:10:45 GMT -5
"I'm just here looking for work." I think. Azzi said. He could only assume so. The clan head had a bad habit of knocking out young clan members and sending them out into the world to get experience outside of Really Cool Land. Useful yes, but irritating as well. "Anyone got any jobs they need that involves either a ninja or a vampire?"
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Post by Calefrun on Mar 6, 2011 21:40:44 GMT -5
"I agree." was all that Cale could say. He felt as though that last joke actually killed some of his brain cells. Stella was an odd one, but if she had something in mind better than this, he was all for it.
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Post by Mizagium on Mar 6, 2011 21:43:34 GMT -5
Stella rolled backward into a handstand on the last chair. "Weeeeeell, Vamp and I are both ninjas, so I guess we can go do ninja stuff." She pushed herself into a backward hand spring, somersaulted through the air and landed in a cross-legged sitting position on the UFO. "Buuuuuuuuuut other guy doesn't seem to do a whole lot, soooooo I guess we should go exploring."
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Post by Calefrun on Mar 6, 2011 21:47:18 GMT -5
Cale wasn't sure if he should feel offended, but right now he didn't really care. He just wanted to get away from this clown.
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Major Xeno
Aspiring Author
Master of Fire
A Perfect World makes a Horrible Story
Posts: 639
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Post by Major Xeno on Mar 6, 2011 21:52:53 GMT -5
The Doctor, however, was leaning rather far back in his chair at this comedy. While the others were trying to evacuate as soon as possible, the Doctor was actually listening quite intently.
'Maybe the temporal stabilizers are off... but no, then the TARDIS would still take off, it just wouldn't land.'
Ok, maybe he wasn't quite listening intently.
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Post by Xelwes on Mar 6, 2011 21:54:11 GMT -5
"I AM COW-MAN! HEAR. ME. MOOOOOOO!"
A large rather gender confused bull-cow thing crashed through the roof of dynasty city. His large red cape flowed majestically with no wind. His horns were covered in the blood of his enemies. His hoof/hand/claw things held cartoonish bottles labeled JUSTICE MILK. All-in-all he was the most intimidating abomination of mother nature that ever came into existence.
"I am Cow-man! Conquerer of Ry'leh! Pilot of Unit 09! Father of your father's father's father's father's father's father's father's father's father's father's father's father's father's father's father's father's father's father's father! All around lovable gift from myself! Master of Milkfu! AND THE SHINING EXAMPLE OF HOW TO NOT MAKE SENSE!"
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Post by Myrdraxxis on Mar 6, 2011 21:55:29 GMT -5
"hmmm ninja things." Azzi considered it. "I suppose we could go roof-hopping until something more interesting happens." he shrugged.
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Post by Mizagium on Mar 6, 2011 21:57:25 GMT -5
"Hi, Doggy," Stella said to Cow-Man. "Ok, Vamp, other guy. We're going on an ADVENTURE through the city!" She raised her hand into the air triumphantly. "Oh wait, I almost forgot." The UFO zoomed over and picked up the Doctor. "Nurse is coming with us, too."
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Post by Calefrun on Mar 6, 2011 21:59:03 GMT -5
Cow-Man's appearance made Cale not really want to go on any sort of adventure, but one glance back at giggles was enough to reassure him.
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Post by Monika on Mar 6, 2011 21:59:18 GMT -5
"Hey, if you don't like my jokes, you can shove it up your-
"Giggles! Hold your tongue!" Chancellor Awesome cut off the unfunny clown, who was now red faced, surprising considering all that white make up.
"Hey, I got it! You don't like jokes, so how about balloon animals, eh? You kids love your balloons, right?" Giggles pulled a balloon out of his pocket, put it up to his lips and began to exhale. Slowly. Very slowly. And every 2 seconds he took a large gasp of air. After about 45 minutes of blowing it up, he had a very long, dark blue balloon. He then repeated this process until he had a few more long, dark blue balloons. "How about a nice crown for the lady in the audience with the UFO, eh?" Giggles maneuvered the balloons around a bunch for a few minutes, whistling all the while. By the time he was done tying them, the end result looked like a dragon. A very, very crude dragon whose appearance almost screamed 'Pop me now!' "Here ya go, Toots! A nice crown!" Giggles threw the balloon 'crown' toward Stella. It barely made it a foot in front of the clown.
'Oh, God...This is the most miserable performance yet. Giggles is giving Awesome Land's entertainment a slap in the face and scaring everyone off...' Chancellor Awesome looked around, noticing that everyone wanted to get as far away from Giggles as possible. 'Forgive me, Giggles. Your act is about to receive some overdue excitement.'
"See, guys. I'm not all-" Before Giggles could continue lying, the balloon dragon rose into the air. Weird, seeing as it wasn't filled with helium. Each part of its balloon body began to stretch and stretch until the once head-sized creature was now as massive as the entire first floor. And then it started moving on its own and squeaking with its large, dark blue beak.
"SQUEEEEEEEEEEAK!" the dragon roared.
'Fire some lasers, dragon.'
The balloon dragon opened its balloon beak and began to fire lasers...MADE OF SOLID BALLOONS.
"Oh no! It's Ridley! Someone stop it! And don't leave the castle, please!" C. Awesome pleaded.
"DA HELL JUST HAPPENED?" Giggles screamed.
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Post by Mizagium on Mar 6, 2011 22:03:32 GMT -5
Stella's face lit up like this  times a million. She jumped off the UFO and wrapped her arms around Balloon RIDLEY's neck. "CAN I KEEP HIM?" |
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Post by Xelwes on Mar 6, 2011 22:04:01 GMT -5
"Balloons?" Cow-man's mouth instantly watered. "I. FUCKING LOVE. Balloons." Instantly Cow-man had mounted Balloon Ridley and began yelling.
"HAVE MY GENDER CONFUSED ABOMINATIONS!" The rest is up to your imagination.
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Post by Calefrun on Mar 6, 2011 22:05:13 GMT -5
Cale dodged the lasers, though he was pretty sure they wouldn't harm him, being made of balloons. Better safe than sorry.
He wasn't entirely sure what was going on, but this thing looked dangerous. And he was unarmed. He grabbed one of the chairs and broke off two legs, holding one in each hand. He pointed the pointy ends at the dragon, and prepared for the worst.
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Post by Mizagium on Mar 6, 2011 22:06:41 GMT -5
"Bad dragon! We don't shoot other guy!" Stella let go of the neck and did a backflip. In the same motion, she reached into her pockets and produces a pair of glowing neon green shurikens. "I gots to train you before I can let you in the house."
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Post by Myrdraxxis on Mar 6, 2011 22:07:04 GMT -5
"That works too." Azzi said, promptly doing a ninja jump and landing on the dragon's neck. He drew one of his blades with a flourish and stabbed downward.
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Post by Xelwes on Mar 6, 2011 22:08:26 GMT -5
"Moo! Moo! Moo! Moo! Moo! Moo! Moo! Moo! Moo! Moo! Moo! Moo!"
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Major Xeno
Aspiring Author
Master of Fire
A Perfect World makes a Horrible Story
Posts: 639
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Post by Major Xeno on Mar 6, 2011 22:09:06 GMT -5
The Doctor whipped out his his Sonic Screwdriver and popped on his glasses, quickly analyzing the readings from the odd balloon creation.
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Post by Monika on Mar 6, 2011 22:12:07 GMT -5
"SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAK!" Balloon RIDLEY let out a loud...roar...type noise as Azzi's blade went down it's neck. The dragon began to bleed multicolored balloons, which promptly flew toward the wound to heal it.
"Stall, stall, stall..." Chancellor Awesome whispered. "Keep them here as long as it takes for them to forget about Giggles' horrible jokes." he muttered to himself.
Balloon RIDLEY began flailing wildly, trying to throw Azzi toward the other protagonists, firing balloon lazahs toward anything it could see.
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times a million. She jumped off the UFO and wrapped her arms around Balloon RIDLEY's neck. "CAN I KEEP HIM?"