Awesome Land VI: Dawn of a New Era

[Myrdraxxis]

"FOUL CREATURES! YOU DISGRACE THIS OFFICE WITH YOUR VERY PRESENCE!" Ixeel shouted as he literally curb-stomped a shadow soldier to death outside of the now rather ruined front of their office building.

Xaadm decided that it would be prudent to not remind Ixeel that he was actually a Shadow being too...

"This has been a really strange day." the Nobody sighed and casually beheaded another Shadow mook.

"It's about to get weirder!" A voice caught his, and everyone elses' attention.

Vin came barreling down the street like he was being chased by a monster. Considering the heavily armored man...on fire....chasing him, it was rather understandable.

Myrxxan stared at the approaching Shadow soldier....not really sure what to do. "What."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"A little busy here, Karzm." Zais sighed, glancing over at the other Immortal. He was kinda used to the other guy popping up randomly at this point.

"So what's up?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dace dove to the side at Clara's order, dodging a swipe by the daemon's greataxe. Jangles let loose a mighty roar of pain and anger at the wound Clara inflicted, twisting around to swing his weapon at the warrior.

"Down!" Sindri shouted and Dace ducked low as a barrage of magic missiles (of darkness) struck the back of the daemon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Oh no." Roewk said. He froze where he stood. Darkness. An old Darkness. He felt it suddenly, felt it in the trees and other...er...wooden shit.... all across Really Cool Land.

"We are too late." He stated ominously, then turned to his companion. "Ollie, we have to go. Xavian has made his move." Not waiting for a reply Roewk created a generic magical portal (like the kind you get in cereal boxes) and stepped through, appearing at the Really Cool Palace.

"What is happening here?"

[Mizagium]

Still a little woozy from being tossed into an office, Sam charged at the Shadow Soldiers – only to be tossed again, this time landing in a local pharmacy. Muttering to himself about being out of shape, he got back up and started to stalk back into the fight, when something caught his eye. ‘Crazy Leon’s Colored Hair Spray.’

“Huh.” A quick glance outside told him the battle was doing alright. He was getting tired of his silver hair. He scanned the various tones and shades. Autumn summer. Eva purple. Aquamarine. “Man, whatever happened to just red, blue, and green?” Disappointed, Sam started back to the battle, but then another thing caught his eye.

‘Crazy Leon’s Colored Hair Spray – For Men!’

Intrigued, Sam stepped closer. “Tired of all those confusing shades and tones for your hair? Well, you’ve come to the right place! Now any slack-jawed Neanderthal can color their hair, quickly and easily.”

Sam frowned. Was this can of hair spray insulting him? Probably, but…He found a mirror and applied the spray. In 3.14159 seconds, his hair was a nice green (forest green, for the ladies out there). Satisfied, he stuffed the can into his pocket and grabbed a can of hair color remover on the way out. Call it a war expense. Totally not shoplifting.

“Hey,” he shouted, returning to the battle. “That blow really knocked me out.” Never mind that his hair was now a different color.

-

GOLDBEZ TOOK THAT OPPORTUNITY TO ALTER HIS FLIGHT PATH AND SLAM INTO THE GROUND. THE SHOCKWAVES OF SHEER BURNING MANLINESS RADIATED OUTWARD LIKE A TSUNAMI OF TESTOSTERONE, INSTANTLY VAPORIZING EVERY SHADOW SOLDIER IN THE AREA (EXCEPT VIN AND XADDM, OF COURSE – CAN’T GO AROUND KILLING PLAYER CHARACTERS WILLY NILLY.)

“I’M SORRY, BABY,” GOLDBEZ REITERATED, GETTING TO ONE KNEE IN THE CRATER HE MADE (IN THE SHAPE OF HIS FACE) AND PRODUCING A RIN WITH A MASSIVE, SPARKLING DIAMOND. “YOU WERE RIGHT. I AM AFRAID. BUT I’M READY TO COMMITT NOW. SWEETIE, WILL YOU MARRY ME?”

-

Karzem sniffed and glanced around. Darkness, darkness, and more darkness. Sure, Zais was the Immortal of Darkness, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t have a little color here and there. In any case, he didn’t want to remain in the center of Zais’ domain any longer than he had to.

“Curiosity, to put it mildly.” He paused to consider his words before deciding it really didn’t matter. “Why now, Zais? And why here? Do you really think you can win – if that is what you’re trying to do?”

-

Clara frowned at her curious allies (particularly Sindri’s use of darkness) but once again decided that the daemon was the more important problem.

“You two,” she called to them, “dwellers of the dark. Normally, I would not even say anything, but…you have fought with me, so I issue this warning: do whatever you must do to shield yourselves. I must call upon a brilliant light to defeat this daemon – I would feel…honorless if I destroyed you, as well.”

Without waiting for a response, she called on that light, that terrible blinding light that had been bestowed upon her so many years ago. Clara Lux summoned the Light of Seraphina. It radiated from her like an aura that burned away the darkness around her, cutting away the very walls and floor of the Dark Fortress. Clara only didn’t fall because the light kept her aloft.

“Burn, daemon!” She shouted at Mistah Jangles. “Burn in the Holy Light of the Goddess, Seraphina!” The light erupted out of her and surrounded Jangles. “Burn!”

-

Everyone turned to face the sudden newcomers, then back to the shadow-possessed party guests. Ollie rolled her eyes. “Oh fine. I’ll do it.” She cracked her knuckles and spread her hands. Small needles of light burst out, piercing everyone who was overtaken by Xavian’s influence. The darkness dissipated and they all collapsed. “Well, that’s one problem down.”

“Excuse me,” King Randolph stepped forward. “But what exactly is happening? Who are you people and how did you just appear in my palace?”

Ollie grunted. “Look old man, we’re the Immortals of Light and…whatever this guy is. Uh, something something, Xavian.”

“Xavian…” Randolph repeated. “Veritaz!”

But the head of RCL security was already acting. He appeared outside the palace with all of the Thundercougarfalconbirds in the country. “Ninjas, we have a Nightfall scenario – activate Daybreak protocol.”

The ninja spread out, surrounding the palace, each producing a Light Rune from their special pouches and placed them on the ground in front of them. Each run produced a bright light and linked up with the others, forming an unbroken perimeter around the palace. Veritaz vanished and reappeared inside.

“Daybreak protocol activated, Your Majesties. For now, at least, Xavian won’t be able to enter here. I’d advise that we move everyone here to the emergency escape tunnel.”

“Of course.” Veritaz vanished for a second before the reappearing with the other ninja and began gathering up the downed party guests.

“Very well. Now that we have a moment, would either of you like to explain what’s going on?” Randolph fixed a pointed look at Ollie and Roewk.

Ollie nudged the other. “You’re the smart one.”

[Mizagium]

Knox and Sarah appeared in the Clock Tower after returning the Endstone to the Receptionist (and receiving several stern looks from her when she learned he had let Johnny use it). All around them, the former members of Organization XXI clung to walls, each other, and slumped on chairs. Only two or three were able to move around.

“What a grim lot,” he muttered. “And I need to get back to Dynasty City…”

“Go on, then,” Sarah said at once.

“But…”

“I can go home later, Knox. Things are alright there, now.” Still, he frowned. “Go stop Zais. I’ll get these louts into bed and make sure they don’t die.”

Knox hesitated a moment before saying, “Ok. Be careful, Sarah.”

“Stupid.” She grinned. “I should be saying that to you.” She pulled him for a quick kiss and then he disappeared. Sarah stared at the empty space where he had been, searching for something, before turning way and began helping those too weak to move.

-

Knox appeared in Dynasty City seconds later. Thankfully, not much seemed to have occurred in his absence. He hadn’t even had to time travel back to when he left – which he was cautious about doing, now that the Timestream had been severely damaged by the Time Eater.

“WHAT!? OH, FUCK THEM?!”

The Time Immortal frowned and turned to see none other than Cybele charging right at him. He seemed to remember her from somewhere. It was the cape, he thought. She was a Guardian-General of Awesome Land. And…and she was coming right at him, murderous rage in her eyes.

“Uh…wait!” He threw up his hands

-

Uggo cleared his throat. “Uh, well, you see there is a very, very good reason for…uh…” He couldn’t think of anything. “Alright look. Sir. Your Honor. I don’t know where I am or how I got here. I was just dropping off some people on this planet before some giant…shadow…thing pulled me down and I ended up here. I didn’t mean to break your tower. Really. The last thing I need is more people angry with me. So listen, there has to be something I can do? Or do I need to jump out that…hole in the wall?”

He cleared his throat and tapped on his facemask. “Do…do you need to go to space? I know space. I also know spaceships? Need some help with a spaceship?”

-

Rick Thunder could hardly wait. He was so excited for a battle, he leaped out of the Sea Slater before they were even at the ground floor, landing with one of those parkour rolls and wound up looking even cooler with his hair slightly ruffled and an unlit cigarette in his mouth.

“Man. What a drag, this city.” He surveyed the area with extreme coolness. “Too dark, man. Gotta let the sun shine sometimes.” He tapped on the ground with the heel of his shoe and waited. A few seconds later, the city rumbled, the ground split open, and a dilophosaurus skeleton crawled out of the fissure that opened up.

“Not bad. What’s your name?”

It hissed at him.

“Kenny Chesney? Alright. Whatever floats your weird boat. Go get ‘em.”

Kenney Chesney spied the nearest Shadow Soldier and pounced, somehow able to spit that gross tar substance that blinded the poor sod long enough for Kenney Chesney to tear him to shreds.

“Neat.”

[Calefrun]

Sark folded his arms and looked around the darkness of the dimension the Space Immortal had brought him to. After weighing his options for a few more moments, he smirked and said in an amused tone, "Well Artemis, it really has been a hoot. But I suppose you're right; I really don't have any choice except to surrender." He retracted his armblades, but then something strange began to happen. His features started twisting and shifting, as though his body was attempting to rearrange itself.

If a beak were capable of forming a smile, the one belonging to the waitress that stood at the end of the transformation would have been doing just that. "By now, my Master Sark is undoubtedly well out of your reach." She got down on her knees, ready for whatever imprisonment or death Artemis was planning to inflict upon her. "I'm sure you'll see him again, though. And between now and then he'll be spending every second consuming more morals and growing even more powerful." She looked up with a glint in her eye. "And you won't even have a chance of stopping him."

---

Within the Whooters' basement, the waitress that had been confronting Heimrall had also dropped her Sark disguise, and was now pouting at the Immortal of Earth. "We just finished setting this place up! Do you have any idea how long that took? And why, because I scratched your face a little?" She shook her head, scattering a few feathers around herself. "Trust me, with a face like that, I don't think your odds of getting asked out were owl that great anyway."

---

Kayla continued leading the Al and Cozaltene through the city, putting an end to a substantial number of shadow soldiers along the way.

"Okay," she called back the the pirate pair, "We're about to reach the... building?" She skidded to a halt in front of the wall-and-ceiling-less floor of the Whooters. "I guess someone did some redecorating in the past hour or so." She slowly approached the hole left from Heimrall blowing out the trap-door, and here eyes widened when she spotted the owl waitresses lying about. "What... what are they doing here? I don't like this. Come on!" She beckoned to the others, then jumped into the hole.

The Germans shared a look of confusion, then shrugged and followed after her.

[Mizagium]

The Guardians of the New World stared up at the Dark Citadel. Not so long ago, this world had been known as Random World. And not so long ago, a man named Zais arrived and aid claim to it, spreading his Darkness and erecting a dark castle along the coast. Although a hero had come to the world and saved it from tearing itself apart, the Darkness had escaped his notice. Now the Darkness was mobilizing. And the group he had left behind was embarking on their first mission.

Cruxias, the de fact leader, cloaked in her Soul Armor, pursed her lips in thought. The Shadow Soldiers that had begun advancing from the castle hadn’t been very tough, like whoever was commanding them hadn’t given much thought to the world he was trying to conquer. She kicked a rock off the cliff that separated them from the castle.

“Guess there’s nothing else,” she sighed finally. “We have to get to that castle.”

Around her, the other Guardians – Frederick, the stoic gravity manipulator with an oversized hammer; Taylor, the brash exile with a sword that control the weather; Taere, the hyper speedster; and the twins, Raem and Yomi – all grunted in agreement.

“Take us over there, Frederick.”

The big man nodded and stamped his hammer on the ground. All of them felt their feet leave the ground as the gravity around them decreased suddenly. They hovered just above the ground for a moment before Frederick moved them forward across the gap. The Guardians touched down on the Dark Citadel without a single incident.

“That was too easy,” Taylor voiced everyone’s thoughts. “I don’t like it.”

“Stay alert,” Frederick said as he returned local gravity to normal. “I’ll go first.”

With the big man with the hammer on point, the Guardians advanced into the castle of shadows…

[Sariel of Tevet]

Heimrall blankly stared at the revealed Whooters waitress with the worst case of resting bitch face in history.

"....."

"....."

"....."

She hung her head down and brought her fingers up to her temples, rubbed them a bit, and let her head fall backwards until her face was turned up at the ceiling. She let out a calm sigh, and removed her earrings.

AND WITHOUT EVEN BOTHERING TO USE HER POWERS HEIMRALL FLUNG HERSELF AT THE MUFFIN TOPPED SKANK AND BEGAN TO YANK HER AROUND THE ROOM BY HER FEATHERS.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Sea Slater dug itself into the ground next to Rick Thunder and the Dinosaur, and let out a hearty laugh.

"Looks like that Shadow Soldier just entered the danger zone!"

His as of yet unnamed first mate walked up and whispered into his captain's ear, which brought a frown upon the face of Captain Albert Alexander

"Oh..uh I see. Well! I guess you need to know when to hold em in battle! Know when to fold em! Know when you walk awa..."

More whispering into the captain's ear.

"I guess he really should have..saxo-phoned that battle in!"

Whispers.

"Should have Liver-pooled his resources together?"

Whispers...

"Iiiiiiit's......TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIME.IN THIS CORNER WE HAVE.."

LOUDER WHISPERING.

"She thinks his dilophosaurus is sexy?"

The first mate gave a faint nod and walked off to tend the battle stations.

"Right! Well! I spend a lot of time at sea so...anyway! I'll show you how a real man battles!

The Sea Slater turned to face a charge of Shadow Soldiers approaching and Captain Albert Alexander walked to the edge of the bow and tapped his sword. An indeterminable amount of planks flew out around the battlefield and created quite the surface for he and his crew to fight upon.

"To arms men!"

The captain and his crew ran full force and collided with the Shadow Soldier platoon and began an epic dual, accompanied by the minstrels of course.

Due to Sony licensing issues we are unable to bring you a song at this time.

[Monika]

Artemis was a very complex woman. A woman whose many mysteries the average person could never hope to solve. There were two things about her, however, that were fairly simple to comprehend. Two guidelines that at the very least would give you a superficial understanding of her. First, do not disturb the peace. Second, do not make her look like a fool. If you could avoid doing those two simple things...Well, while there would be no guarantee that she would like you, the two of you would probably get along just fine.

This waitress had just broken both of those rules.

Artemis' eyes widened in surprise as she realized she'd been tricked, before narrowing again. Not in their usual focused and determined way, but in a sort of cold, vicious rage. She clenched her fist and - as if in response to her anger - a cascade of rhombuses fell upon the waitress, boring through almost every inch of her flesh. Artemis maintained just enough control to prevent the diamonds from hitting vital spots - she didn't want the waitress to die yet - but otherwise she let the shapes fall where they may. The lone, colorless plane upon which the waitress knelt was dyed red with her blood, which Artemis teleported into a nearby hollow cylinder, one drop at a time. The onslaught could have lasted anywhere from a few minutes to a few millennia, as time in Eigenspace was determined entirely by the controller.

After however long, Artemis snapped her fingers and the rhombuses froze in place once more. She walked toward the owl girl, grabbed her by the arm, and muttered, "Eigenspace: Dispel." At once, the strange mathematical dimension was swallowed back into the Mathamune, leaving Artemis, the waitress, and the cylinder of blood standing together at the remnants of Sark's restaurant. Their stay was short-lived, however, as Artemis immediately teleported them away.

---

The last few grains of sand in Emperor Awesome's hourglass fell to the bottom, and he was just about to give the intruder an answer when suddenly-

"Artemis?!" he asked incredulously.

The Immortal of Space had appeared right in front of his desk, holding a cylindrical container and what he could only assume was roadkill of some kind.

"Er, might I ask-"

"A vampire unaffiliated with Zais' forces has been preying on civilians," Artemis said. "I attempted to apprehend him, but he escaped and I was instead left with one of his servants."

"Is...is that what that is?" Emperor Awesome gestured toward the pulpy mess Artemis was holding.

"Correct. I would like permission to take her to the ALDC for questioning. I have reason to believe that the vampire, Sark, has more grandiose plans in store, and this girl may know something about them."

"I see. Well, ah...permission granted. Just try not to leave a mess in there, please."

With a slight nod, Artemis disappeared with her cylinder and the waitress in tow.

Emperor Awesome cleared his throat and turned back toward what would hopefully be his last unexpected guest of the day. "Well, Mr...I'm afraid I didn't care to ask for your name earlier. In any case, you are quite fortunate. My country is in need of a space program, and I was just looking for some people to put in charge of it. I will leave that task to you, and in exchange you will be spared from conscription and punishment. But do take care not to disappoint me. That woman who was just in here? Artemis? She is my Minister of Homeland Security. If my space program is not up to par, or if you try to flee the country without doing your job, or if I am given any reason to believe that your services are no longer required, I will send her after you. Understood?"

He extended his cold, metallic arm out for a handshake.

---

The Awesome Land Detention Center was a rather drab, miserable place. Multiple rows of single-person holding cells were embedded in gray and weathered stone walls that lined hundreds of twisted, barely navigable passageways. The lighting was dim at best, and the building seemed to be designed like a giant labyrinth. It was decidedly medieval in appearance, reflecting the draconian nature of its designer.

Artemis and her captive reappeared in one of the corridors, right outside one of many empty cells. In Awesome Land's early days, dissidents and troublemakers were more likely to be executed than thrown in prison, so the center had never seen much use. Even so, there were still some people held there, and the arrival of the Immortal of Space attracted the attention of one such prisoner a few dozen cells down.

"Hey!" he cried out. "Hey, is someone here to release me? Has Veralice finally granted me a pardon?"

"Wait, someone's here?" a female prisoner in another cell asked, the slightest hint of hope in her voice. "Let us free! Veralice knows I'm innocent! All I said was that I didn't think six year old children should be in the army!"

"Aurora?" Artemis inquired.

"What? That's his sister, isn't it? No, we mean Leon! Emperor Veralice! Wait...Aurora isn't the ruler now, is she?"

Artemis sighed. Those prisoners had clearly been there for a while. "I will put in a request for Emperor Awesome to launch an investigation into your alleged crimes. He shall pardon you, if he sees fit."

"Oh, thank Sera-" The first prisoner paused before asking, "Wait, who's Emperor Awesome?"

But Artemis paid them no more attention as she continued walking, dragging the waitress from corridor to corridor. After some time, they finally made their way through a particularly long passage, at the end of which stood a large platinum door. A digital keypad, easily the most modern thing in the detention center, was bolted to the side.

"A four digit passcode," Artemis muttered. Rather than try to guess whatever number Leon had set, she tapped the keypad with the Mathamune. The sword's abacus beads started whirring again and the numbers '0000' briefly flashed on the keypad's screen, before being replaced with '0001' and so on. For a second she regretted not having the personal sword of Lord Eigen, a blade with such great numerical power that it would have revealed the code immediately. But she conceded that the Mathamune worked quickly enough, and after a minute or two the passcode made itself known.

"7734," Artemis read from the screen, pressing the enter button. "Of course."

With a loud creaking sound, the platinum door swung open. Artemis threw the owl girl into the room before stepping inside herself, closing the door behind her. This room was the largest and most brightly lit area in the ALDC, and for good reason. Whoever entered that room would definitely want to see what they were doing. The place was littered with brazen bulls, iron maidens, thumbscrews, and objects that even Artemis didn't know the name of. It was a torture chamber, and it was about to see use for the first time in almost a decade.

Artemis ignored some of the more creative devices in the room and instead hoisted the waitress onto an inclined bench near the back wall. After chaining the owl girl in place, Artemis' eyes began to glow as she said, "Technique of the First Immortal of Space, Lunesce: Spatial Preservation. A more specialized and advanced form of the Spatial Seal technique. Functions by creating a region of space in which the target's soul is bound in place, preventing it from escaping the body. As long as the technique is active, death for the target is impossible."

Her eyes resumed their normal color as she held out the cylindrical container from earlier. She shook it around vigorously, making sure her captive could hear the contents sloshing around. "Have you ever been waterboarded with your own blood?" Artemis asked in her usual matter-of-fact tone. "Unless you would like to be the first in Awesome Land history to suffer such a fate, you will tell me everything you know about Sark and his plans."

---

Leon kept the Masamune ready as he eyed the palace guests, none of whom seemed interested in being entertained any longer, and all of whom were very clearly afflicted by some sort of malevolent force. "Well, I certainly can't kill them," he sighed, conflicted. "That sort of thing may fly in Awesome Land, but I'm sure that won't go over well here. Hmm..." After a moment, he snapped his fingers and yelled, "Aha! All I have to do is ask Randolph what to do with them. They're his subjects, after all!" He teleported straight to the scene of the action and was about to address King Randolph when he noticed a few of the palace ninja picking up unconscious party guests.

"So is that what we're doing?" Leon laughed. "Knocking them out? Because I'm okay with that."

[Myrdraxxis]

Roewk cleared his throat and began explaining. "Right well, I'm n ot sure just how aware you all are of the goings on in Awesome Land right now, but Zais has begun well...invading?" Roewk paused. Was that the right word? Could you invade something that you were already a part of? Whatever. "Dynasty City is in absolute chaos, and who knows how many other places are being swarmed with Shadow soldiers."

He sighed. "And that chaos is the perfect opportunity for Xavian to make his move. I've made something of a study out of the former Immortal of Darkness, you see. And it was only quite recently that I discovered that he was beginning to move."

Roewk trailed off as he noticed one of the ninjas in the background dragging off an unconscious party guest. Literally dragging them. By their feet, the comatose party-goer's head scraping the ground. "Er..."

"Azzi! Be more careful with the guests!" Another ninja barked.

"Why? He can't feel nothing right now anyway."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mistah Jangles roared in pain as the attacks struck him. And burn he did.

Rather effectively.

Dace didn't waste the chance and in a feat of agility that he wasn't even sure he could pull of under any other circumstance, jumped and hauled himself up the giant daemon's back.

He raised the Hero Sword and then smirked at Jangles. "Looks like you're about to...er...you...aw fuck it." Witty one-liner aborted, Dace stabbed the blade down into the daemon's skull. Jangles roared and toppled over, because having a blade stabbed into your brain tends to mess with your high motor functions.

Luckily Dace manged to roll off of the ginat beast before being squashed.

"Is he dead?" Sindri asked, approaching cautiously. To answer his question, Jangles' body burst into flames until there was no trace of the mighty daemon left.

"I'm going to go with...maybe." Dace answered.

"Well in any case," Sindri turned to Clara, "It seems we might have more aid in this task than I thought."

"Hmmm? Oh, right." Dace turned to the holy warrior. "We know where Zais is, wanna come kill him with us?"

Sindri facepalmed. Absolutely no tact.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Vin had never done well under pressure, especially when put on the spot. So as it was he was frantically looking for a way out of the situation before him: GOLDBEZ kneeling beofre him with a ring.

"Dude, I didn't know you swung that way." Corr called as the two shadow soldiers finally caught up with their team mate.

Myrxxan and the others had stopped fighting for the moment, watching the scene uncertainly. Styx leaned over and whispered to Myrxxan, "This is weird, right?"

Myrxxan just nodded slowly.

Luckily for Vin, he didn't need to give an answer.

A portion of the sky suddenly ripped open and a space ship flew out.

"....Huh." Even Xaadm had stopped in in the middle of strangling a Shadow soldier to watch the sudden appearance. "That's the second weirdest thing I've seen all day."

The ship made a few impressive maneuvers and then swooped in low over the group. The words SAV Ariadne were painted proudly on the side.

Suddenly a hatch on the side of the ship opened and three figures appeared. Then they jumped out of the ship and...SOMEHOW....landed safely in the middle of the gathered fight.

"Hey there losers." Commander Gree, Hero of the Galaxy said, cocking his rifle. "Miss me?"

"No." One of the shadow soldiers that was still standing nearby deadpanned. Gree turned and shot him in the face.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Zais chuckled. "Well now, that's an interesting question." He said. Mentally he was...considering. What was the point of this again? Zais never really thought his plans through anyway but...

"Mostly just for the hell of it." He answered Karzm after a moment. An wide, almost insane grin spread itself across his face. "After all, it is Darkness' nature to consume."

Yes, that was it. Zais didn't remember why he had started doing this, but it didn't matter. It felt right. This was what he was about. Consuming. Dominating. Without Light to stop it, Darkness by its very nature would swallow everything up.

[Mizagium]

Clara held on to the Light even as the daemon fell because she knew that as soon as she released it, exhaustion would overcome her and she would not be able to summon it again. She did, however, lessen the intensity, so as to stop burning holes in the fortress for now. She also wasn’t hovering any longer.

“I would…yes, but I have a question I would like you to answer along the way: Are you both not of the Darkness yourselves? Why do you fight against this Zais if he is…like you?”

-

Randolph sighed. “Please refrain from injuring my guests.” He said that for the benefit of Ollie, Leon, and Azzi, but knew better than to expect full compliance. “Zais. I have heard of him. Probably from you two,” he said accusingly of Johnny and Cassandra. “But no, we have heard nothing about his attacks on Dynasty City. This is normally the part where we’d offer to send aid to them, but it appears we have our own problems now.”

“And it’s getting worse,” Cassandra informed him, having glanced out the big windows. A crowd was gathering around them, a mass of Dark RCL citizens, stopping just inches from the Daybreak line. Leading them was a hooded woman carrying a black staff and black sword. “Oh come on, she’s giving a speech now.”

Ollie joined her at the window. “Pff. Thinks she’s a big shot, huh? I’ll deal with this.” She stalked away flexing her hands, sending technicolor sparks everywhere. But when she flung open the door, she was greeted with something no one expected, but probably should have. The black-hooded figure cut through the light barrier with the black sword easily enough, tearing it all the way down to a rune on the ground. Down came the staff with a dull thwack and the rune shattered. The rest of the barrier flickered but held, even as she broke two more close by.

Ollie slammed the door. “Ok, new plan. Everyone out. Let’s go.”

But Johnny was on his feet already, somewhat shakily. “I’m staying. I can do something.”

“Do what?” Cassandra demanded, more harshly than she intended.

“Something!”

“After that stunt you pulled earlier? There’s no way you have any energy left.”

He shrugged. “I’m up, aren’t I? Mom, Dad, I – “

But just then, the front door was thrown open from outside. And there stood Lolandas Raymar, wielding the Blackblade and the Nocturne. Her hood was thrown back now, revealing her long, inky black hair, black lipstick, black contact lenses, and the Eye of Xavian that hung around her neck. She surveyed the group, letting her gazes rest on each of them in turn.

“Well,” she said, her voice icy cool. “This will actually be a lot easier than I thought.”

-

Uggo grimaced behind his mask. He didn’t like making deals with powerful, important people. He had a habit of ducking out at the first opportunity and invoking their far-reaching ire. He could name several places in the galaxy where he had acquired a “kill on sight” order and a few others where four of five different groups had conflicting bounties on him. But something about Emperor Awesome told him that breaking this deal would be especially bad.

Not to mention this Artemis character.

He reached out and shook the Emperor’s metallic hand. “Understood…your majesty. I find myself not wanting to meet that Artemis in a back alley but I can’t put my finger on exactly why.”

-

“ALIENS.” GOLDBEZ SNAPPED TO ATTENTION AND STUFFED HIS RING BACK INTO HIS ARMOR. “DON’T WORRY, VIN, BABY. I’LL PROTECT YOU.” AND HE PELVIC-THRUST FLEW RIGHT AT COMMANDER GREE.

-

Blanche, Daar Lorra, and Samuel Anarr (still muttering about his hair color) joined the X team in gawking at the SAV Ariadne. “So…are they on our side?” Blanche asked dryly.

“Who’s side are we on, anyway?” Daar Lorra grumbled.

-

Karzem made a noise like a snort before turning away from the mad Immortal. “I suppose that’s motive enough. You’re luck I’m not here to kill you, Zais.” He opened a Chaos Tunnel. “Not right now, anyway. There’s some other folk here to do that job for me. I’ll be seeing you.” He gave a mocking salute. “Not living, I hope. And not for some time.” He stepped through and was gone.

He reappeared in a section of Dynasty City without any other Immortals and hardly any Shadow Soldiers. A few streets down and the businesses were running as normal. He stepped into an Omnistar, ordered a drink, and found a secluded booth in which to brood and scheme. The lighting was even extra dim in this corner, perfect for hatching nefarious schemes.

Absently, he noted that a few Shadow Soldiers were also taking a break from the conquest to order food there. One or two were even playing in the ball pit.

[Calefrun]

Kayla and the pair of Germans landed in the basement of the Whooters, and immediately had to dive out of the way of Heimrall's rampage.

"Well that's... something," Kayla deadpanned after observing the spectacle for a few seconds. She shook her head, then addressed the pirates. "Anyway, so here's the deal. This," she gestured at the portal to the Null-Void that surrounded them, "is a Rift between this universe and the emptiness that surrounds it. It was put here by this vampire douche named Sark that I've killed a couple of times, and to make a long story short, it will consume this entire world if it isn't stopped. Pretty standard stuff, yeah?"

She paused for a moment, partially to let the information sink in and partially to move out of Heimrall's way again. "So anyway, you-" she pointed at Cozaltene, "-sorry, I forgot your name. Was it Harold?- have the key to closing the Rift and saving the world and all that good stuff."

Both Cozaltene and Al just blinked in confusion.

She sighed, then explained, "Okay, so these things can't just be created out of nowhere, right? It takes a pretty large amount of magical energy to tear open the fabric of reality and all that. So Sark made these things so that they would open up by siphoning the life force of a randomly selected individual- that's you, Harold- and converting it into the magical energy needed to open the Rift. But because your energy was used to open it, it can also be used to close the damn thing."

Al raised his hand. "Right, so... what exactly makes you so sure that it was Rick's energy that was used to open this thing? And you basically just said that closing this Rift thing would require more of his life energy. Wouldn't that be... bad?"

"This is kinda my thing," Kayla responded. "About ten years ago I travelled through one of these Rifts and wound up in another world, and since then I've had the ability to sense the type of magic that's involved with them. At a pretty good distance, too; generally I can get at least a feel for the direction that the Rift-closer, unless they're, you know, in space or something. And as for your second question, it's not as bad as you might think. We're not taking years off his life or anything here, dude might just be a little sleepier than usual for a while. So, anything else before we start?"

The pirates both just stared at her, still looking like they weren't really sure what was going on. Which was basically the reaction that Kayla was used to getting. Still, it was good that they weren't calling her crazy or anything like that. She figured that she owed that to the nature of Awesome Land- revalations like these tended to be pretty par for the course here.

She brushed a lock of silver hair out of her eyes, then continued talking, "Oh, and one more thing. Sark designed these things to be able to defend themselves- no, I don't know how that makes any sense. But anyway, while Harol- errr... while Rick closes the Rift, you," indicating Al, "and I are going to hae to fight whatever happens to pop out of it." As Heimrall made another pass, Kayla called out to her, "Hey, you! Shit's about to get nasty down here! Mind lending us a hand? I don't want to think about what would happen if we accidentally add magical vampire monsters to the chaos going on outside."

---

The waitress coughed, and blood squirted out from the deep fractures in her beak. She then squawked out something that sounded vaguely like a laugh, though it was filled with pain. "Death is... impossible? Hah... *cough* I'm a vampire. Technically I'm already dead." She wheezed, having found that talking was not particularly easy at the moment. "I'll admit though... you're quite powerful. My master was *cough* wise in his temporary retreat. Though I have to say, if you think that I know anything... you're either dumber than you let on, or..." Another pause, during which she had a coughing fit that resulted in Artemis getting sprayed with a bit more of her blood. "...or you don't understand the concept of a lowly minion. Though his plan originally involved merely the consumption of this world and the absorbtion of all of its energy... all I can tell you now is that there is surely more to it now."

"He has seen what kind of power this world's 'Immortals' weild, and he will stop at nothing until he is able to personally destroy each and every one of you, stealing that power for himself. Until then, I can assure you that he will keep killing, keep growing stronger, and do whatever it takes to achieve his goals. And you won't be able to find him until he wants you to." She started to laugh again, but the pain quickly forced her to stop.

[Sariel of Tevet]

Heimrall, who at this point was still slinging that bird flu carrying diva around the room by her ratchet ass hair cut, had mostly been ignoring what was going on with the others in the room. She let out a heavily sassy sigh, hearing that some bitch was interrupting her fight to ask for help. She was an immortal now so apparently she would have to help people sometimes now. She grabbed that bitch waitress by her bitch face and rolled backwards, pressing her legs into that whore's flat chest, and launched her into the void.

She stood up and dusted herself off while somehow simultaneously checking her phone at the same time to text Becky about what had transpired so that she could put it on their vlog. After a quick Awesomebook status update, a picture of some left behind feathers with the caption "bitches get stitches", and making an appointment with her makeup artist to try and handle the cut on her face before prom, Heimrall decided to look up and address Kayla.

In typical bipolar teen fashion, her anger swept away at the moment she saw Kayla.

"OH EM GEE!"

She ran up to Kayla and began to tug at her hair and clothing to fangirl.

"Who does your hair! And those boots! Ugh. So much cuter than these clunky fuckers on my feet that I wear to work. Wait. UUUUUUGH. I WAS PORTALED HERE FROM WORK. I DIDN'T EVEN GET TO CHANGE MY OUTFIT BEFORE ADVENTURING. "

Heimrall paused to take a deep breath from running out of air.

"Your nails though! So tragic. We HAVE to go for a mani pedi after all of this immortal crap is over with ok? Seriously. Just................don't tell Becky. She will be totes jealous that you are prettier than her. She is so damn frumpy. She never wants to go shopping with me."

She crossed her arms and let out a groan.

"I guess we have to get to work then though. Fine."

[Monika]

"Finally!" Leon laughed, sheathing his sword just so he could theatrically crack his knuckles. "Now I'm the one who gets to be entertained. No offense Randolph, Francine," he said, nodding to each of them. "But your party was rather dull."

Leon took slow, deliberate steps toward Lolandas, unable to wipe the huge grin from his face. "Alright, lady. I don't know who you are, but it's very impolite to show up to an event uninvited." Aware of the irony, he added, "And if you're gonna crash the party, you should at least dress the part. I mean, look at you!" He tugged at the sleeve of Lolandas' robes, shaking his head in disappointment. "It's like you're wearing somebody's curtains! And what is with all the black?" He sighed. "The hair, the lips, the eyes...We get it. You like darkness. That's great. Something to be proud of, sure. I mean, shadows make up at least 15% of my business portfolio. But you're just being silly. It's embarrassing, really."

He stepped away from Lolandas and gestured to himself. A few of the still conscious guests whistled in response. "Now this is how you dress. Look at me!" He spun around. "I've got the light blue collared shirt, the expertly tailored pants, the dark gray jacket lined with diamonds. The whole thing is cashmere, wool, and silk. This is the absolute finest suit that shadily earned money can import from Fancy Land. This is the gross domestic product of a small island nation! The perfect blend of color, texture, and extravagance. It's amazing." Even some of the Dark Really Cool Land citizens who had accompanied this cult leader had to clap in appreciation of Leon's impeccable style. He answered the applause with a few bows and some business cards detailing a self-improvement workshop he was holding in the near future.

"But the absolute best thing about this suit is the ridiculous amount of storage space!" Reaching into one of his pockets, he retrieved a small, pitch black bean and tossed it to Johnny. "Those are the Shadow Beans we use at Omnistar Coffee," he explained. "I figured a new chain of restaurants required better products, so we're working on refining the formula. That little bean contains more than enough energy to get you back on your feet. It's so potent that it's actually banned in five countries. Why don't you eat it and come join me, Johnny? We haven't fought together properly in a while."

Turning back to Lolandas, he smiled. "Now, where were we? Oh, right. I would love to teach you some more about fashion..." He redrew the Masamune and entered a battle stance. "...but I think we have to kill you."

Elsewhere, Amelia had taken it upon herself to start evacuating people to the underground escape tunnels, following the lead of one of the palace ninja. She opted not to take part in the main event for fear that she might blow her cover.

---

"You're a smart man," Emperor Awesome replied, squeezing Uggo's hand a bit more firmly than necessary. "I wouldn't want to meet Artemis in a back alley, and I'm her employer." He shuffled around the papers on his desk until he came across one labeled 'Form of Employment' and passed it along. "I'll just need you to fill that out. Name, age, and the like. Once that is done, you're free to get to work. There are a few space crusaders of some sort, as well as my Guardian of Technology, Alastor, who have also been instructed to work on this space program. You may want to meet up with them. I'd love to offer you further directions, but..." He sighed, glancing from the mound of paperwork on his desk to the hordes of Shadow Soldiers outside his windows. "I'm rather busy at the moment."

---

Artemis looked down at the mangled form of the waitress below her, expression unreadable as usual. "I am a woman of my word," she said, setting the container of blood to the side. "You have told me all you know. There is no need for waterboarding." In truth, Artemis had not expected Sark to reveal the details of his plan to his minions. He was smart enough to retreat from the battle and avoid a loss, so surely he was smart enough to keep secrets when necessary.

"Since you have been kind enough to share with me what you know, I shall tell you something that I know. There is a 100% chance that Sark will lose. 'Misguided' is the nicest word I can use to describe his plan. Consuming the world. Absorbing its energy. Stealing our powers. It is ludicrously over the top and destined for failure. It is pitiful how much faith you have in him. I would be laughing right now, were I the type to do so."

Artemis brandished the Mathamune and stared at its polished, sparkling surface, still talking to the owl girl chained to the table. "I thought about killing you," she said in her usual way. "Or 'ending your existence', since you are technically already dead. But I would do a disservice to this chamber by showing you such lenience. Yet standard torture would not work either." In one swift, fluid motion, Artemis plunged her katana into the waitress's chest. "Simulated drowning. Being stabbed with this sword. In the end, it is all the same: Weak. Physical pain can be resisted. Adjusted to. And it always subsides after some length of time. But emotional pain - the kind that comes when you lose someone close to you, or when your hopes and dreams and everything you have lived for are shattered before your very eyes - that hurts. There is no resisting it. You do not adjust to it. It lasts for an eternity." It was difficult to tell, but Artemis' tone seemed just slightly less neutral than it had been before. Colder. Bitter.

She wiggled the Mathamune around a bit before withdrawing it, holding the sword over her captive's face. For a few seconds she just stood there, watching the blood run down the tip of the blade and onto the waitress's beak, drop by drop. "1.5 gallons," she finally said. "The typical adult body contains 1.5 gallons of this substance. The next time I visit you, I will have collected that amount in full from Sark. You will experience the pain of his loss. The pain of having once called such a miserable, pathetic wretch your 'master'. And once you have felt that true, unmitigated anguish for enough time, perhaps then will I escort you to the grave."

Artemis put the hood of her robe back on and walked over to the torture chamber door. She paused for a moment, as if to say something else, but decided against it and exited the room, locking the door behind her.

[Myrdraxxis]

Roewk reacted immediately, raising both arms towards Lolandas. "Foul wretch!" He spat. As he spoke the ground beneath the woman shuddered and split, as giant roots sprouted out of the ground and ensnared the cultist.

"We have to deal with this one quickly! She's the key!"

Azzi suddenly appeared behind Lolanda in a very ninja-like fashion, knife in hand. "Noted." He said and lunged for her neck.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sindri and Dace glanced at one another. Dace thought to point out that he wasn't actually affiliated with Darkness in any way (and wasn't sure how Clara made that connection) but decided it wasn't really worth it to do so.

"I have served Zais for centuries." Sindri spoke. "I was proud to call him my master, and even once my friend." he paused, sighing. "Darkness is....corrupting by its very nature. Those who dwell in it are changed. There was a time when Zais bore the title of Immortal well, and before that he even was known as a Hero." Sindri shook his head. "But that was a long time ago. Darkness has driven him completely mad. The man we face now has no care for his own responisbilities nor the people that he leads. I knew this day would come, and I have no qualms in ending this Zais."

"I've always wanted to kill the guy." Dace shrugged.

"....regardless, if you are with us, then I suggest gathering any forces you can. I will take us to Zais when you are ready." Sindri said.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I had almost convinced myself that this guy was some sort of fevered nightmare." Gree said calmly, watching as GOLDBEZ pelvic-thrusted towards him.Yet he didn't move.

Instead he stared at the oncoming pelvic projectile and inhaled deeply. "I should go." he Spoke and the universe complied.

Gree walked towards GOLDBEZ, and then THROUGH him, as though the man didn't even exist. As if Gree had been removed from the happenings of the universe in that brief moment, denying its effects on his being.

Everyone stared at Gree.

"I still think its freaky how he does that," one of the two soldiers accompanying Gree, a green-skinned androgynous guy named Larry said.

[Monika]

If what that waitress says is true, then Sark will most likely be targeting us specifically. Should I warn the rest of the Immortals? Is it even worth the time?

After Artemis left the torture chamber, she had begun pacing through the many passageways of the Awesome Land Detention Center, considering everything that had just happened. She was in no particular hurry to escape the facility - she would have teleported were that the case - and so she let her feet guide her through the labyrinth with no destination in mind. The quiet of the detention center, interrupted only by the sound of her footsteps, helped her to think.

Sark is a threat. That much is certain. But how much more of a threat than the typical enemy we might face? Certainly not more than Zais. In terms of both raw power and number of subordinates, Sark cannot compete. The difference in overall strength is significant. If I believe that Zais can be defeated, then it follows that Sark can be defeated with less effort, regardless of whether or not we form a united front against him.

Artemis sighed and leaned up against an empty jail cell. "It doesn't matter," she said. "Even if I thought that warning them would make a difference, I don't have enough strength to use my Telepathy technique." She held the Mathamune up and gazed at her reflection in its surface. "Activating Eigenspace consumes a significant amount of energy. This weapon may be a katana, but its true power is a double-edged sword. I would never have used it had I known that I was fighting a trivial minion. I can't afford to be so reckless in the future."

The image staring back at Artemis was frowning now, with just a hint of concern on her face. "That's right. Recklessness almost forced me to blow up Heimrall. Her impulsiveness is a liability. I wonder if she is alright. I have no idea where that trap door led to, or if she managed to escape. Do I need to check on her?"

Another sigh. "Again, no Telepathy. And I am currently in no condition to fight. Even if I warped directly to her, I would be of minimal use if she is still in danger. There is no sense in worrying. Heimrall is strong. Impetuous, but strong. She'll be able to handle herself. I should focus on recovering my energy. Loath as I am to say it, I just barely have enough strength to take on a Shadow Soldier, let alone Sark or Zais."

And so Artemis used what remaining magic she had to teleport out of the ALDC, to a place far enough removed for her to rest in peace.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Artemis appeared before the Super Land Royal Library, the place where the story had begun. Around it were hundreds of buildings - schools, homes, and shops - relics of a more prosperous time in the country's history, now all vacant. Because of the country's vast, overwhelming emptiness, Artemis was almost surprised when she pushed open the library doors and saw Clyde sitting at the table. Almost.

"You're still here," she said, stating a fact rather than an exclamation of surprise.

"Sure am," Clyde answered back. "So, you finally here to talk about returning Super Land back to the hands of its citizens? Namely, me."

"No," she replied simply.

Clyde smiled. "Too bad. I really love what you guys have done with the place. How exactly did you get this island up in the air again? I thought the Wind Orb was lost forever."

"Gravity manipulation."

"Really? Well, don't just leave me in the dark!" He chuckled. Demon humor. "Tell me some more!"

After eying Clyde cautiously for a few moments, she removed her hood and took the seat opposite him, deeming that talking was just about all she could do in her current state. "As the Immortal of Space, I have a certain degree of control over gravity. I was able to diminish the gravitational field between Super Land and the rest of the planet, allowing the country to float a certain distance above Awesome Land."

"Hmm. That's really cool," Clyde replied, running a hand through his hair. "But how do all of the buildings - this library, for instance - stay in place? If you got rid of the gravity keeping Super Land on the ground, shouldn't the buildings be floating off in space right now?"

"Using a similar technique, I was able to adjust the gravity between Super Land's surface and everything on it. The buildings, you, and I are all rooted to the floor, while the island itself is still free to hover in the sky," she explained. "Honestly, it was a bit of a gamble. I had never experimented with gravity outside of basic self-levitation, so performing such large-scale gravitational manipulation on an entire country was something I wasn't sure I could do." Her mouth curled into a very slight smirk as she admitted, "But I wasn't going to be shown up by Knox, so it was a risk I had to take."

"Bravo." Clyde clapped, the sound waves from his large demon hands echoing off the library walls. "For what it's worth, I think your powers are far more impressive. Knox is Time, right? He may have rewound the buildings, but that's something that a good contractor and a few tons of concrete could have done. Getting this place into the air, though...I thought that was impossible without the Wind Orb."

"Thank you," Artemis said, nodding. "It is very rare for someone to take an interest in my techniques."

Clyde shrugged. "When you're trapped in the underworld for what feels like an eternity, you gain a healthy appreciation for knowledge. Any little factoid that can take your mind off the doldrums and monotony is a blessing."

"I'm sure," she said. Without anything else to add to the conversation, she just sat there for a while, thinking, bringing about a silence that would have seemed awkward to anyone else. Like Clyde, for example, who was looking down at his hands, fidgeting. After a while, Artemis eventually spoke up. "This question may seem strange, but is there a bathroom here?"

Clyde let out a relieved sigh. "Yeah, I didn't want to say anything, but there's blood all over you. It's a bit startling, you know. Just what were you doing back down there in Awesome Land?"

"Official business."

"Official business, huh?" Clyde tapped a finger on the table impatiently, silently pleading for Artemis to go into detail.

"Under orders from Emperor Awesome, I am to defend the security of the country. I have a list of threats that need to be neutralized. Initially, this list included only Zais and Leon Veralice. While preparing to combat the former, however, I encountered a vampire who was more of an immediate danger. The blood you see on my clothes-"

"And face and hair," Clyde interrupted.

"-is from one of his servants, whom I imprisoned in a detention center." She held out the Mathamune for Clyde to see and coolly asked "Would you like me to go into more detail and describe exactly what I did to her?"

"Ah, that's alright, thanks. You can put the sword away." Once the blade was out of sight, he continued. "You know, I can't say I've ever dealt with vampires, but I actually did fight Leon and Zais once."

"Is that so?" Artemis asked, her interest piqued.

He nodded. "Mmhmm. It was a while ago, when I first condemned myself to the Fallen Paradise. Fought them and another guy, Narrator, simultaneously. Good times..." he trailed off, his expression suggesting mixed feelings about that battle.

"Any tips?"

"Hmm? Well, Narrator has since ascended to a higher plane, so no need to worry about him. As far as Zais and Leon are concerned, though...I was barely able to fend the two of them off back then, even with my demon powers, and I'm sure they've only gotten stronger since. They're practically twins, you know. Both exceedingly powerful. Both fond of their darkness. Both manipulative thieves with a callous disregard for others." Clyde scowled, reliving a particularly bad memory. "Only reason I was fighting Leon was because he killed our guards and stole a sword from our people. Kind of looked like the one you just showed me, actually. Anyway, they were two peas in a pod. Only difference was that one went crazy and the other one opened a restaurant chain. Actually, I think that sums it up nicely."

Artemis raised an eyebrow and stared at the demon king. "Just what do you mean?"

"Well, Leon went from a tyrannical emperor feared by millions of people to the owner of a chain of restaurants. That's completely out of the blue, isn't it? And Zais has alternated between being buddy-buddy with the guy and trying to kill him. Does whatever he wants, completely at random. Left a superweapon in my home and nearly blew me up. He's insane. Their danger lies in their unpredictability. You prepare to face Darkness, and Leon will come at you with his stolen katana of Light. You spend days learning to counter scythe techniques, and Zais shows up dual-wielding a claymore and a gun. My only advice to you? Don't make a plan. That, more than anything, will get you killed." As an afterthought, he added, "Oh! And say a snappy one-liner before you fight either of them. On TV, at least, that always increases your chances of victory."

She regarded Clyde curiously for a few moments, taking in what he had just said. On the one hand, Artemis was not one to go into a fight without a plan. She wasn't foolish enough to think that everything always went according to plan; her battle against Sark could attest to that. But to fight without a plan at all? That just seemed reckless and unnecessarily risky. On the other hand, Clyde had fought both of her targets at the same time and was undoubtedly far more familiar with their battle styles. His advice couldn't simply be disregarded. After a while, she got up from the table and simply said, "Thank you."

"No problem," Clyde answered. "Oh, bathroom's upstairs, by the way. Just go to the top of the spiral staircase and it should be the most luxurious looking room you see. Large double doors with griffin shaped handles and everything. It was actually built here by the High Seraph before Raphael." He reflexively made an x-shaped motion with his hand and muttered a quick prayer before continuing. "The people were outraged. Didn't want a shower and all the associated humidity in a library where it could ruin the ancient books. But the High Seraph insisted that if he had to spend most of his waking hours in here, he should at least be comfortable. So they finally compromised and let him have his bath, putting it all the way on the top floor where it couldn't hurt any of the books down here."

Artemis nodded and moved toward the staircase. She was about to take the first step when the demon said something else.

"And Artemis?" Clyde started. "Don't worry too much about your upcoming fights. The fact that this island is even floating again is proof that you're really powerful."

She was trembling now, and couldn't bring herself to look back toward him. Shaking her head, she gave a short, ice cold laugh. "Not powerful enough," she finally answered, walking up to the top of the stairs.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Artemis eventually reached the top floor of the Royal Library, coming across a set of doors exactly like Clyde described. Two doors crafted from some kind of wood - mahogany, she presumed - with ornate decorations and a brass, griffin-shaped door knocker on each. She didn't bother with them, correctly assuming that no one would be inside, and instead reached for the knobs in the griffins' mouths. As she turned them and pushed the doors open, she was greeted by a massive room that seemed to be made entirely of gold. The sinks, the bathtub, and even the toilet. What wasn't gold was a gem of some kind; just about every fixture had rubies, sapphires, or emeralds embedded in the surface. Even the braces from which the crystal chandeliers were suspended were made of opal.

Artemis took in her surroundings and glared back at them. Not with a sense of wonder and amazement, but with annoyance and disdain. "How extravagant," she said, approaching a full body mirror whose frame was made of black diamond. "I wonder how much of the nation's money and labor were spent on this one room." She looked at her reflection in the mirror and, as Clyde said, her face, hair, and robes were all covered in blood. Glancing toward the Mathamune, she saw that blood coated about a third of the blade, and she made a note to polish it later on. She carefully set the sword down on a large pile of towels near one of the sinks.

Looking back at the mirror, she pulled her robes up over her head and casually tossed them to the floor. She did the same with her bra and panties, and finally with her boots and socks, throwing them all to the side with similar carelessness. "The floor should feel cold," she said to herself, looking down at her toes and the golden floor beneath them. "But it's rather comfortable." She hadn't noticed before, but the bathroom was considerably warmer than the rest of the library. Probably another of the excessive features the previous High Seraph had installed, she thought, though one I'm glad exists.

After enjoying the comparative warmth of the air for a few moments, she turned toward the bathtub (as large and golden as the room it was in) and noticed that there was no shower head to be seen. Rows of expensive looking products from Fancy Land rested upon a jeweled shelf on the bathtub wall, and above the faucet was a single switch instead of a set of knobs. "I can tell a lot about the previous owner just from this room. Both money and time were commodities which he possessed in abundance. To him, they had little value, and so he could afford to waste them without a second thought. It's sickening for a ruler to act so childishly. And yet...It's almost enviable, too."

With another sigh, Artemis flipped the tub switch and held her hand under the faucet. She braced herself, ready to retract her hand at a moment's notice if the water was too hot or too cold, but, to her surprise, the water was actually perfect. "It is already set to an optimal temperature. 107 degrees. Surely it can be manually adjusted to better suit changes in the weather? Or does it do that automatically?" She continued to contemplate the intricacies behind the tub as she pushed down the stopper and grabbed a random bottle from the shelf. Pouring the contents into the tub, she couldn't help but smile as it filled up with bubbles. "I haven't taken a bubble bath since..." She stopped herself. "It's been a long time."

Once the bathtub was filled to the brim with suds, she stepped in, pleased that she didn't have to adjust the temperature, and let the soothing water caress her skin. "Ah...Do not get used to this, Artemis," she warned herself. "The moment your strength is restored, you have to continue with your mission." Yawning, she lifted her left arm and held up three fingers. "Zais. My primary objective. He is mentally unstable and must be put down before he can do any more damage to Awesome Land and the world at large." She put down one finger. "Leon. My secondary objective. He is draining too many of the empire's resources, and has yet to be properly punished for his extensive list of interdimensional crimes." Her second finger went down.

"And Sark. My tertiary objective. I do not know much about him, but he must be stopped as well. His plan is absurd," she yawned again. "Consuming worlds and absorbing powers. Even William's Null-Void based absorption technique could only take 10% of the target's power, and I helped him develop it. Does that arrogant wretch think he can make a better technique than I? I surmise his total level of power to be less than that of Zais or Leon...but he has already outsmarted me once." Her hand snapped shut into a fist, sending suds flying across the room.

"It doesn't matter. I will kill him anyway. All of them. I must kill Zais. I must kill Leon. I must kill Sark," she mumbled, closing her eyes. "And I must become stronger..." Countless thoughts ran through her head. Flashing in her mind were pictures of Leon and Zais, of Sark and his waitress, of Awesome Land and Super Land. Pictures of vampires drinking the blood of the Immortals, and of shadows chasing her with scythes and katanas. Unable to hold back her exhaustion any longer, Artemis had finally drifted off to sleep, trusting the water not to drown her.

[Mizagium]

But Azzi would never make it to Lolandas’ neck because Giana chose that moment to appear in a cloud of black smoke and roundhouse kick Azzi in the air. “You will not harm the Bride of Xavian!”

Johnny caught the Shadow Bean and gave Leon a funny look, but popped it in his mouth anyway. He instantly felt the effects of the Shadow Bean. All the weariness vanished like had never been. In fact, he felt like he could go the next four or five days without sleep, which probably wasn’t healthy.

“I think we should talk about your coffee beans,” Johnny said to Leon. “But after this.”

Still, he didn’t feel back to 100% yet. Whatever that Endstone had done, it had really taken a toll on him. He felt like there were tiny cracks in his body, slowly spreading and widening. He tried to tell himself it was just his imagination, but the sensation remained.

With the party guests and his parents evacuated, the whole of the RCL mansion was effectively a battlefield. Cassandra took up a stance a few paces back, Light arrows ready. Giana landed and swirled her daggers around, freeing Lolandas, however briefly, from Roewk’s bindings.

“How quaint,” she laughed and jabbed the Nocturne into the roots. The became black and twisted, no longer reaching for her. “Plants are the easiest living things to turn to the Darkness,” she said cooly. The corrupted roots reached then for Roewk, tearing up the floor along the way.

Ollie made a lunge for Lolands at the same time Cassandra let loose a volley of Light Arrows. Giana caught Ollie’s punch with her hand and spun the Light Immortal away, back out through the doorway and towards the corrupted citizens, who were not long advancing.

Lolandas vanished into shadow before Cassandra’s arrows connected, reappearing behind her. “Ranged attacks are terribly dull.” The end of the Nocturne jabbed into Cassandra’s back and sent the corrupting tendrils of darkness into her body.

“No!” Johnny made to help her, but came up short, unsure of exactly what to do.

Cassandra screamed as the darkness wormed its way through her, producing jagged streaks of black that showed through her skin. Her eyes turned black, as though her pupils had expanded to fill her sockets.

“Style,” Lolandas said, finally acknowledging Leon Veralice. “I’m afraid such things do no interest me. Lord Xavian has no need for style,” she nearly spat the word. “Lord Xavian is not so base as to concern himself with…physical appearances.”

Cassandra stopped struggling and fell limp a moment before standing upright again. Lolandas put a hand on her shoulder and regarded the assembled heroes. “Perhaps we can talk now? I wouldn’t want anything to happen to this lovely young landy.”

-

Uggo wanted to ask where to find Guardian Alastor, but Emperor Awesome had already resumed his work and somehow, disturbing him further seemed like a bad idea. He glanced briefly at the shattered window and considered leaping out, but opted for the quieter, safer, high speed elevator that would take him to the ground floor.

On his way out, he nodded to the various servants and soldiers he passed. None of them seemed to find his masked, peg-legged form worth even a casual note of surprise. “Man, this place must just be full of weirdos, huh?”

Outside, the air was a bit more hectic. The aforementioned war had only just begun to reach the Imperial Tower, but the Awesome Land Army was going a good job of keeping the Shadow Soldiers away. Not relishing the idea of running around a besieged city without a plan, he asked one of the nearby soldiers, “Excuse, do any of you know where Guardian Alastor is at the moment?”

One mentioned he saw him scurry off and pointed him in the general direction. Uggo thanked him and ignited his peg-leg boosters, taking this city in great leaps and bounds. He wasn’t accustomed to gravity like this – and his legs weren’t calibrated for it, either. It wouldn’t take much, but he’d rather find this Alastor person first.

Uggo touched down where the X team, the Crusaders, and the Space people had all converged recently. “Uh, you look like non-mookish types,” he said by way of greeting. “Would any of you…people be able to point me towards Guardian Alastor?”

Daar Lorra, Blanche, and Samuel all grunted and pointed at the man, who was standing safely away from the combat.

“Ah. My thanks. Uh, Alastor? My name is Captain Uggo. Emperor Awesome…drafted me into the space program…” He trailed off, noticing the MSV Ariadne hovering nearby. “Oh.”

[Calefrun]

Kayla let out an exasperated sigh. Admittedly, it's been a good number of years since I was a teenager, she thought, but I can't believe that I could have ever been this... well... She took another look at the energetic girl before her. well, THIS. Of course, I was never really the 'oh em gee' sort to begin with... She shook her head, trying to clear out these thoughts and regain her focus. It didn't really matter anyway. As long as the Immortal helped, she could be as... teenager as she wanted.

"Right. Anyway..." She grabbed Cozaltene by the wrist and pulled him so that he was standing a few feet from the Rift, with his hand outstrechted towards the Null-Void. As though reacting to his presence, the mebrane of the portal began to shift, warping so that it appeared to be reaching for him, just as he reached for it. Kayla released his wrist, and immediately a stream of bright purple energy shot out from his arm, connecting with the surface of the rift. "okay," she explained, "so you need to just stand there for a few minutes. Strike a heroic pose or soemthing if it makes you feel better, just don't put your arm down." The boy nodded, then jammed his free hand into his pocket and adopted as much of a relaxed, slouching stance as he could while still keeping his other hand up.

Kayla walked back over to the other two, and was about to continue explaining things, when she noticed Al watching his friend worriedly. "Gabe was hurt pretty badly back in Cloud Land..." he muttered. "If something happened to Rick, too..."

The Traveler plopped a hand onto his shoulder, and he turned his head to look her in the eyes as she spoke. "Like I said,
this process isn't going to hurt him. He'll be fine as long as we protect him. And on that note, there are going to be a lot of-" detecting movement behind her, she stopped mid-sentence and whirled around. The surface of the rift was changing again. A fairly sizable portion of the portal's surface stretched out towards them, then split off from the rest of the membrane and quickly morphed into a new shape. It appeared to be a beast of some sort, standing on four legs and baring large, jagged teeth.

The creature charged at cozaltene and leaped for the kill, only to collide with a large, floating heater shield. It fell backwards, and just as it was trying to get up a glowing pink shuriken impacted with the side of its head. The void beast let out an unnatural-sounding howl before disintigrating on the spot.

"Damn, that didn't take long," Kayla said with a sigh as she reached for her next weapon. She unclipped a small, mechanical rod from her belt, and with the flip fo a switch a switch a pink katana blade made of pure plasma sprang to life with a humming sound that seemed familiar enough to border on infringing copyrights of a particular science fiction series. As dozens of void creatures began to form from the portal, she spoke quickly to Al and Heimrall, "As I was about to say, the Rift is designed to create magical monsters to defend itself when someone starts trying to close it. Most of them are pretty weak, but we need to keep them away from Rick."

"The name's Cozaltene!" The boy in question yelled back indignantly.

Kayla rubbed her temples, then pointed at him. "Him! We have to protect that guy!" She dashed forward, then jumped and brought her blade down on top of a vaguely scorpion-shaped enemy, instantly killing it.

Al drew his energy dagger with his left hand and made a sweeping motion with his right, sending out a wave of fireballs that destroyed several monsters still in the process of forming, but immediately many more began appearing in their place. "Hope Rick closes this thing fast..." he mumbled.

[Razgat]

Cybele swung her fist directly into Knox's face, knocking him over.
"Oh." She stopped to look him over, shaking her hand to knock out the stiffness. "You're not a shadow guy. Whoops. Got a little carries away."

[Monika]

"Gravity manipulation, huh?" Clyde was now pacing the main floor of the Royal Library, taking slow, forceful steps around the room. "I'm definitely walking here on the ground," he said. "But this entire island is up in the sky. That woman sure is something..." He chuckled for a moment, about to reclaim his seat when he heard a cold, condescending, unmistakable voice behind him.

"You're becoming awfully friendly with Artemis, aren't you?" the voice whispered.

Clyde whipped around and, sure enough, Antitheon was hovering there, glaring back at him with an expression of equal parts disdain and amusement. "If I were a lesser Demon King, you might've scared me," Clyde said, maintaining a neutral tone so as to avoid a repeat of his last encounter with the angel. "And you mind speaking up a bit? Your voice is a little too soft."

"We're in a library, Clyde," the angel retorted.

"Hah. Very funny." Clyde rolled his eyes. "And I would hardly call myself getting 'friendly' with Artemis. Just making a little small talk, since she decided to pay a visit. Is there something wrong with that?"

"You are fraternizing with the enemy," Antitheon answered.

"The 'enemy', huh?" Clyde scratched his chin thoughtfully and sat back down, resting his legs atop the table. "You know, I can't actually recall a time when Artemis has done anything bad to me, which is more than I can say for a certain angel. Why don't you have a seat and explain yourself?"

Antitheon's expression was now one of genuine bewilderment. "Sit down? At this filthy table? You must be joking." He hovered over to the opposite end of the table and continued staring at Clyde with his cold, blue eyes. "Artemis and the rest of her wretched Immortal brethren are the enemies of the goddess," he explained. "I am simply trying to protect you. As one of Her loyal servants, I don't want you getting too attached to any of them." The last word lingered on his tongue for a while, laced with even more venom than the rest of his speech. "It might put you in an awkward position."

"Well, since you just care so much," Clyde laughed, "I'll try to keep my idle chatter to a minimum. You might want to do something about your voice, by the way. If you were actually concerned about me, I couldn't tell. I've never heard someone sound so quiet and so hateful at the same time."

For a few moments, there was a harsh silence between the two. Neither one said anything. Neither one looked away from the other. Just cold, deafening silence. After what seemed like an eternity, Antitheon finally said, "You are quite fortunate that you have already pledged your allegiance to the goddess. But for what it's worth, I did consider adding more sincerity to my tone. As it turns out, I would just sound more sardonic than I already do."

"Well, at least you gave it some thought." Clyde sighed. "But you didn't take time out of your busy schedule just to tell me not to make friends. What brings you here?"

"You were a general for the Super Land military before your self-imposed banishment to your so-called Fallen Paradise. You are no stranger to the battlefield."

Clyde raised an eyebrow. He felt like Antitheon was asking a question - or should have been asking a question, at least - but then he realized that the angel was probably gifted with a considerable amount of knowledge. "Well," he began, "Super Land managed to stay out of most terrestrial conflicts - thank Sera, er, the goddess - but I've certainly led an army before, even if it was only for training and scouting missions."

"Glad to hear it," Antitheon said, though his voice didn't seem any happier. "Then you will not mind leading the forces for when Mother decides to wage war."

Again, Clyde felt like a question mark should have been at the end of that sentence. "Well, I wouldn't mind, I suppose. But isn't the goddess supposed to be about harmony and peace and all that? Waging war doesn't sound like something she'd be into."

Antitheon scoffed. "Believe me, I know my mother better than you do."

"Uh-huh." Clyde shrugged. "Well, if that's what she wants to do, I'll be happy to lead her army. I did swear my loyalty to her." Removing his feet from the table, he sat in a more dignified position and smiled at Antitheon. "So...How many troops do I get?"

The angel smirked back and removed a set of blank playing cards from his robe pocket. Spreading them out on the table, he said, "How does thirteen sound?"

The smile on Clyde's face quickly disappeared. "Thirteen, huh? Doesn't take a genius to figure out what you want me to do."

"I would hope not, since there is only one genius in this room," Antitheon replied.

Ignoring the comment, Clyde continued. "But, if I'm understanding you correctly, shouldn't I get one more?"

Antitheon turned away from the demon and gazed up at the spiral staircase. "That issue will resolve itself in the near future."

"Well, that's not cryptic." Clyde sighed again. "Still, with only a little over a dozen people to work with, you can't really expect me to get much done, can you?"

"I'm almost insulted, Clyde. I don't think you have faith in me." Antitheon snapped his fingers and, in an instant, the cards on the table glowed a bright white. A different colored sword ascended from each one and hovered over the surface of its respective card. "With these weapons, your soldiers will be more than enough to accomplish the tasks the goddess requires of you."

Clyde regarded each sword for a while, not sure what to make of them. None seemed particularly dangerous - no more so than any other sword, at least - and they were all rather ordinary looking. He had read about swords like Tsunami and the Masamune, and the pictures showed that their craftsmanship and beauty were exceeded only by their mystical power. But the swords that were now in front of him were...underwhelming. He eventually looked back up at Antitheon, his eyes asking for some sort of explanation. "Level with me, Antitheon. You're saying that I'm supposed to give those swords to people and they'll suddenly be ready for war?"

"I'll be assigning the swords to the proper candidates myself," the angel answered. "And you will be coaching the less experienced candidates in basic combat. But yes, with these weapons and a little training, your soldiers will be quite capable."

"But, I haven't even seen those swords before," Clyde whined. "Give me a dozen Hystogers or something and I could maybe see where you're coming from. But those things...They look so plain."

"If all things were to be judged solely by their external appearance, I might have left you to rot in the Fallen Paradise," Antitheon said. His voice was just barely louder now, and it was clear that he was growing impatient. "And of course you have never seen these swords. Each one was handmade by the goddess Herself specifically for this purpose. They are all one-of-a-kind and do not exist anywhere else. She even made sure the data was unavailable in the Infinite Sword Plain. Ah..." Antitheon beamed as he reminisced about his mother. "She truly is marvelous, isn't she?"

"Well, I'm not going to argue there," Clyde grumbled, visibly stung by the angel's Fallen Paradise remark. "But still-"

"You remember what happened the last time you doubted Her strength, don't you? Are you really going to make me demonstrate my power again?" The grin on Antitheon's face vanished as he snapped his fingers once more. All but one of the swords faded away, their cards floating back into his robe pocket. The one that remained was a simple broadsword with a blade as black as a moonless night. "This sword," Antitheon said, "is Seraphina's All-consuming Darkness."

With the other weapons out of the way, Clyde was able to focus all of his attention on the lone, black sword. He shuddered as he gazed at the blade, unable to look away. He had never been one for sensing energy, but he could tell that the darkness embedded in that sword was overwhelming. Oppressive. Pure. More potent than that of the Fallen Paradise. More potent than that of Zais. More potent than his own. He felt immense negativity emanating from the blade. Anger and despair lashed out at him in waves and he found himself struggling to breathe.

Antitheon smiled. "I see the sword has left you speechless. It truly is wondrous, isn't it? It is Her personal favorite."

"Heh...If I weren't...the Demon King...that darkness might be suffocating..." Clyde panted, finally able to tear his gaze away from the sword. "Isn't Sera...the goddess supposed to be affiliated with light?"

"Hahahaha. Again, I know my mother better than you do." Antitheon hovered toward the library entrance, the black sword floating closely behind him. "Come, Clyde," he demanded. "Allow me to reveal precisely what this sword can do." The library doors opened themselves as Antitheon approached them, inviting him to the outside world.

For a moment, Clyde wondered whether Antitheon psychically opened the doors, or if the doors were simply too afraid to stand in the angel's way. Considering both to be equally plausible, he followed Antitheon out of the library. Once they were both outside, Clyde patiently waited for what was to happen next, figuring he had asked enough questions today.

"Now, watch. I will show to you a fraction of this sword's power." Antitheon raised both of his arms, and Seraphina's All-consuming Darkness plunged itself into the ground before him. "Beloved Mother, let your sorrow run through this pathetic land!"

At Antitheon's command, a pulse of dark energy burst from the contact between the sword and the earth, and a shimmering black aura appeared around the perimeter of Super Land. Leaves on the nearby trees became discolored and fell, and their roots receded back toward their stumps. Bushes across the country withered and blackened. Before long, any form of life the place still possessed was dead. Pleased with the decay of the local flora, Antitheon pointed toward the distance. "But I know the ever-doubtful Clyde would never be satisfied with the death of a few plants. So please, look below."

Clyde did as he was instructed, walked over to the edge of Super Land and peered down toward the surface world. The clouds in the sky seemed to be flying toward him, and Awesome Land's Imperial Tower grew slightly closer. His eyes widened and he hastily stepped away from the border. "Are...we descending?" he asked tentatively.

"Can you not tell? Do we need to move more quickly?"

"Uh, no, thank you. I...think I've seen enough." He turned toward Antitheon and sheepishly rubbed his head. "That's some sword you've got there," he admitted.

"I am glad you realize this." Holding up one of his empty playing cards, he snapped his fingers a third time. The card began to glow once more, and the black sword pulled itself from the ground and flew back into the card's surface. Instantly, the green color returned to the bushes and trees, their roots spread out across the ground, and Super Land began ascending back to its original location. It was as if nothing had ever happened. "Let us go back inside, Clyde. I believe I've made my point."

The demon king obliged and the two made their way back into the Royal Library, Clyde sitting down at one end of the table and Antitheon hovering near the other. For a while there was another cold, painful silence between the two. This time, however, it was Clyde who decided to break it. "So...The sword is strong. I'll give you that much. But still, you're asking me to-"

"It isn't hard, Clyde!" Antitheon snarled. He released Seraphina's All-consuming Darkness from its card and glared back up at the spiral staircase. "A single thrust!" he spat. "I could go up there and end her with a single thrust of this sword! Do I need to go that far to prove to you how simple this mission is?"

"I'll pass on the offer, thanks. Stabbing a woman while she's bathing sounds like something out of a cheesy horror movie. Besides, I don't want any blood on my hands today. I'll leave that to Artemis." Clyde laughed coldly, standing up at his full height to better convey his point to Antitheon. It didn't have the desired effect, since Antitheon simply hovered until he reached eye level, but Clyde went on anyway. "I won't deny that you gave me a pretty good thrashing, and maybe you could do the same to the-"

"Maybe? Just maybe?" Antitheon took a deep breath and made a peculiar hand motion. Overhead, a loud rumbling noise could be heard, as if something heavy were being ripped from its foundation. Moments later, an enormous golden bathtub was floating down the spiral staircase, and it stopped right in front of the angel.

Clyde's eyes narrowed as he saw the tub's contents. Artemis was lying there, sleeping peacefully under a blanket of suds, completely oblivious to the world around her.

"The mere sight of her makes me want to retch. She is quite fortunate that most of her body is obscured by soap and water," Antitheon said, taking another exaggerated breath. "Otherwise, I am not sure that I would be able to remain as calm as I am now."

"Put her back, Antitheon," Clyde growled, his teeth and fists clenched.

"And why should I?" the angel demanded. "You continue to doubt my power, Clyde. The power of the goddess. I see no other way of sending the message through your thick, mortal skull."

"And you think killing a sleeping girl is going to help get your point across?! Put her back, now!"

"I could wake her up," he said coldly. "I could give her Excalcula, the signature weapon of her beloved Lord Eigen. I could teach her things about Space and mathemagic that even she does not know. And still she would be powerless before Seraphina's might!" As he said this, his pitch-black sword positioned itself above the tub, its tip just inches away from the water.

"Alright!" Clyde conceded. "I get it! You are strong. The goddess is strong. But the fact of the matter is that neither you nor your mother are the ones fighting these guys. You're handy with the sword, I'll admit, but you can't expect me to believe that a non-angel will demonstrate the same kind of skill. You want me and a dozen random nobodies to wage war against a handful of demigods!" He was speaking quickly, flustered by the lack of control he had over the situation. After taking a rest to catch his breath, he asked, "Can you even call such a small skirmish a war?"

Antitheon resealed the sword into its card and steepled his fingers. The tub ascended back up the staircase and into the bathroom. More rumbling could be heard as it was reattached and set back in place. "Are you finished with your little rant?" A brief pause. "Good. First, let me assure you that the scale of this conflict will more than justify the term 'war'. I shall also say, for the final time, that the candidates I select will be more than capable of fighting in this war after proper training. I would love nothing more than to be on the front lines myself, but Mother is saving me as a last resort. Now..." Antitheon outstretched his hand, psychically propelling Clyde into the far wall. A few books fell from their shelves and onto the poor demon king's head. "I am resisting the very, very strong urge to hurt you any more than that. But I will not tolerate further disobedience. Mother saved you from a miserable life of endless despair. Now you will fight for Her without question. Is that understood?"

There was nothing he could do. Any other outburst or objection could cost both him and the person upstairs their lives. Feeling defeated, Clyde answered with an unconvincing "Yeah, I got it..." He stood back up, rubbing a bump on his head. "When do I get my soldiers?"

Antitheon smirked again. "Now there is a question I can approve of. It will take time for me to select and recruit the proper candidates, and Mother is kind enough to give the world a grace period before our first strike. As you know, Awesome Land is already at war with a certain Immortal of Darkness, and Really Cool Land is dealing with another. She wants them to resolve those conflicts first. And then she wants them to rest for a while to recover from their losses."

"Wow," Clyde muttered, his voice thick with mock-appreciation as he continued to check his body for bruises. "The goddess is just the pinnacle of benevolence, isn't she?"

Choosing to ignore the clear sarcasm, Antitheon nodded. "She is. But I will admit that Her plan is less to be kind to the world and more to prove a point. She wants to crush these miserable mortals at their full strength. She wants them to see and feel just how weak they truly are. How pathetic they truly are. And once they realize the extent of their helplessness..." He stopped himself. "Well, I wouldn't want to spoil the surprise."

"Alright then." Clyde replaced the fallen books on their shelves and took his seat at the table. "You go on and find those soldiers. I'll be here when you get back."

"Now there's a good boy. I'd pet you, but you know how I detest touching you Earthlings." Interestingly enough, Antitheon managed to say this with a hint of genuineness, as if he actually wanted to treat Clyde for being obedient.

"I appreciate the thought. Maybe by the time this war starts, I'll have worked my way up to a theoretical handshake," Clyde grumbled.

"When the war is won, perhaps you will have earned a theoretical hug." Antitheon smiled and ascended higher into the air, a sphere of light encompassing his body. "When next we meet, be ready for training. Farewell, Clyde." With those words, the light disappeared and so, too, did the angel.

Clyde gave an exasperated sigh and looked up at the ceiling where Antitheon had been floating moments ago. "What have I gotten myself into? I think I might have picked the wrong religion..."

---

"Angle side angle, angle angle side, secant, tangent...Ugh!" Arabella was lying down on the floor of her room, hundreds of papers and books haphazardly strewn about. "I'd like to meet whoever invented geometry and give him a piece of my mind!" She picked up one book, Elementary Geometry by Soh Cah Toa, and tossed it at the wall. "It's so unfair! Stupid parents will only pay for half my prom dress if I make an 'A' in math by my next progress report..." She rolled over and stared up at the ceiling, the cleanest spot in her room, and the only one where homework wouldn't stare back at her.

"I'd pay for it myself, you know?" she asked, glad that the ceiling was such a good listener. "But the dress I want is super expensive, and I just can't afford the whole thing on a part-time priestess/barista salary." She sighed. "I don't see why they're pushing me so hard in math. How often am I really going to use geometry in art school, anyway?"

The ceiling answered her with silence.

"I know, I know..." Arabella jumped to her feet and ran over to her closet. As she opened the door, she was met with an array of dozens of Omnistar uniforms and priestess gowns. On the closet floor were a few pairs of tattered jeans and old tennis shoes. "I don't really have much of a choice. I need that dress. I haven't worn anything exciting all semester! All I have is uniform after uniform after uniform!" She sifted through the clothes hanging from the garment rack, vainly searching for another shirt or skirt or something that might have been hidden in between her work clothes. "This is my one chance to stand out! If I don't get that prom dress, I'll be uncool forever!"

With a heavy sigh, she trudged over to her bed and collapsed. "Maybe I won't even go to prom. I haven't been able to find a date! No one wants to ask the styleless girl who's always at work. And I don't have any idea who I would ask. It's impossible to meet people when you've got to work nearly everyday! The only one I ever see around is Malcolm, but I'm not going down that road."

"Arabella! Dinner's ready!" a woman's voice called from downstairs.

"Coming!" she answered instinctively. "Oh! Maybe...Maybe I could ask Antitheon! Wouldn't that be the best?" She hopped over to her closet again and snatched a priestess gown from the rack, holding it close to her chest. "He's sooo dreamy. I could go to prom with a real live angel!" She flourished the gown and started dancing in circles, carefully sidestepping the books and papers on the floor. "La la la, la la la..."

"Arabella!" the voice called again. "Hurry please!"

"He would take me by the hand and we would stare longingly into each other's eyes." She grabbed a sleeve and held the gown up at eye level. "And then he would grab me-" She wrapped the sleeve around her waist. "-and pull me in close. Then he would dip me toward the ground-" Arabella was now leaning dangerously far backward. "-and lean in for the kiss! Oof!" Her balance was thrown off and she fell to the floor, just barely avoiding a collision with a particularly hard textbook. The gown landed on her face and she (justifiably) giggled like a schoolgirl.

"Ah..." she sighed, content to lie there under the gown for a few moments. "That's what I'm gonna do. I'll ask Antitheon. Now, all I have to do is find him." Carefully replacing the gown in her closet, she strode over to a wall upon which was hung a beautiful portrait depicting an artist's rendition of Seraphina. Clearing some books out of the way, she knelt before the painting and clasped her hands. "Dear Heavenly Mother, I know you are really, really busy guiding the universe and everything, but I could totally use your help right now. I don't have a date for prom, and I haven't been able to find anyone at my school. I met your messenger, Antitheon, and I think he's perfect! He's just so nice and cool and amazing! It sounds silly, but if you could set me up on a date with him, I would be eternally grateful."

"Arabella! Get down here now!" A second, louder voice called from downstairs.

She hastily racked her brain for a few more seconds, trying to think if there was anything else she should pray for. "Oh! And if you could help me get the money for an awesome prom dress, I'd appreciate that too, because this math thing just isn't working out." Her prayer complete, she ran out of her room and down the stairs, where she saw her father sitting on the couch in front of the TV and drinking a can of Omnistar Iced Coffee. "I wish you wouldn't drink that stuff, Dad..."

"Gotta support my daughter's work," he replied gruffly. "Took you forever to get down here. Homework too hard for you?"

Arabella frowned. "Something like that. Whatcha watching?"

"News. Nothing you teens care about. Run on to the kitchen. Your mother finished dinner a few minutes ago."

"Hey! I'll have you know that I care plenty about the news!" To prove her point, she took a seat next to her father, leaned forward, and rested her head in her hands. Overall she looked like she was trying a little too hard to pay attention to the television. "See, I'm all about the news!"

"Shh!" her father whispered.

On television, a woman with a microphone was standing next to a young, spear-wielding blond man. He was in a gleaming suit of white armor, and beams of light were flying from his fingertips into a large wave of darkness.

"We're here with Guardian Lex, head of Awesome Land's Psi District, right here on the battlefield of what some are now calling the 'Darkness War'!" the woman said. "Lex, what can you tell us about this latest conflict?"

"I'm kind of busy, Eileen," Lex muttered, summoning a massive wall of light to stop the darkness from spreading. "Really isn't much to say here. Zais, formerly of Awesome Land's Homeland Security department, is up to his shenanigans again. From what I've gathered, the assault started in Dynasty City. Slowly but surely, it's spilling over into the other districts."

"Great, great!" Eileen laughed, the significance of Lex's comment lost on her. "Now, what are our leaders doing to resolve this Darkness War?"

"Will you stop calling it that? This is hardly a war. Just one guy throwing a tantrum." Lex ran his fingers through his hair and huffed. "I assure you that the rest of the Guardians and I are doing everything within our power to prevent Zais' forces from advancing any further than they already have. In the interest of protecting our citizens - especially the young ones - Guardian Alastor and I have decided to close all schools in the Gamma and Psi Districts. These districts encompass Metro City, Retro City, Aurora City, damn it-"

Lex turned away from the reporter and saw that his wall of light was cracking. The darkness was repeatedly slamming into it like a shadowy battering ram. He conjured up a few more barriers to reinforce the one that was breaking. "Stay inside, everyone!" Lex warned. "We're holding off the darkness as much as we can, but we don't want anyone to risk being out here. It's too dangerous."

"There you have it folks!" Eileen shouted with an unfitting amount of exuberance. "You heard it here first! All schools in the Gamma and Psi districts are closed! Stay indoors, spend time with your loved ones, and know that our Guardians are tirelessly working to protect you all! This has been Eileen Lancaster with Channel 5 Awesome News...

"Bah!" Arabella's father waved his hand dismissively at the TV. "Load of rubbish. Darkness? In our district? These conflicts barely ever make it past the capital. Well, that one with the Null-Void and the Time Keeper got pretty far, but that was hardly a threat anyway. Looks like you get a free day off, Arabella." He shook his head in disapproval. "How are you gonna spend it?"

"I'm gonna go to work, obviously!" she exclaimed. "I can work an extra shift tomorrow and get closer to paying for my prom dress!" With a huge grin on her face, she ran back upstairs to iron her uniforms for the morning. She answered one of my prayers! I needed money, and she's giving me the chance to get it! Maybe I really will be able to go to the prom with Antitheon...

"Glad my daughter has a little work ethic," her father grumbled. "Unlike the rest of the kids out there, who'll probably spend the day lazing about. Buncha louts..."

"Is...Is anyone going to come eat dinner?" the mother asked from the kitchen.

---

"It's good to know that Emperor Awesome is supplying me with a proper staff," Alastor said, extending his hand toward Captain Uggo. "Frankly, I don't know the first thing about aerospace engineering. Robotics and medicine are my fields. He acts as if knowing one branch of science predisposes you to knowing the rest..." He sighed. "But I digress. I assume you know something about space, if he sent you here. Ever pilot a ship? And, more importantly, have you ever built one?"

---

"If you survive this battle and find that this whole darkness thing isn't working out for you, you'll wish you had a little style." Leon chuckled. "Maybe then you'd be able to land yourself a respectable job. We're always hiring at Omnistar, you know." He pulled another business card from his pocket - this one detailing the contact information of the manager of the nearest Omnistar restaurant - and tossed it to Lolandas.

"I'll be perfectly honest, Miss, uh, 'Bride of Xavian'." Leon said, making air quotes with his fingers. "I don't really have any attachment to that lovely young lady you've got possessed over there. And I'm pretty sure I could take you all down with a single slash from the Masamune." Shooting a quick glance at Johnny, he added, "But in the interest of my good pal, I'll bite. Besides, I'm always up for a chat. So, what do you want to talk about?"

[Mizagium]

Knox recoiled from the punch with all the grace of a former underground blackjack player – that is to say, not very well. But he did stand up after only a few seconds and touch his broken nose with one finger, creating a small section in which to rewind time to before being punched. It still hurt while it was being rewound, but he’d never tried something like this before.

“Ah, no worries, happens all the time.” That’s when he spied her cape. “Aren’t you one of the Guardian-Generals? Shouldn’t you be over there fighting the Shadow Army?” He indicated the general direction of the Shadow War.

-

Lolandas watched Leon warily. She estimated that most of the assembled would be fairly predictable. Leon Veralice, however, was a notorious wildcard. He was known to change loyalties if it suited him, and acted on whims, but not necessarily patterns.

“I’ll keep this brief, then.” She fixed her eyes on Johnny now. “Johnny is to surrender and come with me.”

Johnny raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, that’s crazy.” This was normally the part where he’d do something stupid, but with Cassandra like she was… “Care to elaborate, since you’re in a talking mood?”

Relatively certain there would be surprise attacks for the moment, Lolandas complied. While she focused the bulk of her attention on Johnny and Leon, she trusted Giana to watch Ollie, Roewk, and that ninja. “Very well. You, Johnny, are to be Xavian’s new mortal vessel, his previous one having been destroyed by Ventus, long ago.”

“Shouldn’t he be asking Zais for help or something?”

“My master and Zais are not…on the friendliest of terms. Suffice it to say Zais is a pretender in our eyes.”

Johnny frowned. “Seems like you’ve got plenty of mortal vessels already.” He indicated the mod of Shadow possessed civilians who weren’t advancing. “What do you need me for?”

“They are mere thralls. It is in Darkness’ nature to consume, to spread. Zais has taken quite the heavy-handed approach. My master is of a more...stealth-oriented mind.”

“Sneaky sneaky soul stealy?”

“In so many words. Xavian eats away at the world, preferring to chip and poke and prod until it all falls away and is consumed by Darkness. Zais would simply stand at the heart of the world and hit it until it breaks.”

“All very interesting, I’m sure, but that still doesn’t explain – “

“You have met my master once before,” she interrupted. “You were marked as his and given his sword.”

Johnny stiffened. “I’ve been given many swords. I can use all the swords, if I understand my powers correctly. I don’t think using Enumasam is anything particularly telling.” But she saw the doubt in his eyes.

“Perhaps, it might seem that way. But you do not use a mere copy of Enumasam; what you wield is the true Sword of Darkness.” She detected his falter. “Go on. Draw it. Feel it.” Despite a moment’s hesitation, he did so, producing a dark mirror of the Masamune. “Can’t you tell how it feels more real than the others?”

“Feels like a sword,” he said unsurely.

“A real sword.”

He let it vanish. “All very interesting, but I’m a big believer in making my own destiny. Didn’t you hear? I punched the end of Time itself in the face earlier and walked away slightly winded. You don’t really have much to hold over me, you know.”

“I have the truth of your birth! The truth of your heritage! I – “

“Yeah, sorry, not interested. I just needed to stall.”

“What?” But then she understood in the same instant it fell apart. She turned towards Cassandra, her newest thrall, only to see the lines of Darkness retreat and her eyes return to normal. “No.”

“Surprise, bitch!” Light gathered in Cassandra’s clenched fist as it swung. Giana realized only too late that her mistress was in danger. The blow connected and Lolandas went flying across the room and out the nearest window, out into the night, where her legion of enthralled citizens waited.

Calmly, Johnny hugged Cassandra to him and she said, “Bitches don’t know about my additional light powers.”

“They sure don’t.”

Ollie whistled. “Nice job, Sunshine. But that still doesn’t help with the walking Emo Scene out there. I could do some fancy light needle junk, but I have a feeling this Xavian jerk will just take back over.”

“Then we need to Lolandas away from them.” Johnny gave Leon a meaningful look. “Well, Leon, want to give me a hand? We’re going to the badly dressed Queen of the Night and taker her far away from here.”

[Mizagium]

Clara considered Sindri and Dace a moment. “I…yes. The three of us taking on Zais would be foolish. Very well. I must return to the surface and gather my men.” She paused, thinking she had more to say, but no. There was nothing else to say, other than, “I will return.” And then she turned on her heel and raced back to the opening she had entered from. Without stopping, she lept into the air and her Light caught her, gently carrying her down to the street.

She didn’t land where she had originally lifted off from (was the Dark Fortress moving?) but she spied what appeared to be fighters close by and so rushed over to them. “You there! Fellow warriors!”

GOLDBEZ SNAPPED TO ATTENTION. “WHAT HO? AT LAST, SOMEONE RECOGNIZES MY APTITUTE FOR TE MARTIAL ARTS!” HE TRANSITIONED INTO A PERFECT SPLIT, THEN A SOMERAULT, AND HAND-WALKED OVER TO CLARA.

“A PLEASURE FOR YOU TO MEET ME, I’M SURE.”

The three remaining Cosmic Crusaders regarded Clara’s arrival with less enthusiasm. “Oh joy,” Daar Lorra muttered. “More Imperials.”

Uggo was in the process of answering Alastor when Clara showed up. “Uh. Do you know her?”

“We are taking the fight to Zais!” Clara raised her spear with the shout and awaited the resounding cry that would inevitably follow.

“Who?” Blanched asked.