Awesome Land VI: Dawn of a New Era

[Myrdraxxis]

"I'm in!" Myrxxan called. Xaadm just sighed.

'Sure, why not." He paused then turned back to the other two members of their group of....whatever they were. "Styx, Ixeel, can you hold things down here?"

Styx had fashioned himself a throne out of dead shadow soldiers and was reclining royally as he answered. "Sure, mate. Dunno who this Zais guy is anyway."

"I WILL REMAIN ALSO!" Ixeel declared. "Zais is kinda scary." He added, less enthusiastically, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly.

"Should we be trying to stop them?" Corr whispered to Taler. The other soldier just shrugged.

"You can if you want to."

"Err...."

Vin took the opportunity to escape from the group of....enemies(?) around him and rejoin his squad. "Soooo what are we gonna do?"

"We're gonna get on my ship is what." Gree said, striding over to his fellows.

"Oh! Hey, Gree's back!" Vin said. "You look....different." Vin glanced over Gree's shoulder at the spaceship hovering in the background....and the two soldiers waiting quietly. The human male just looked rather disinterested int he whole thing but the green alien guy with the tentacle head was giving Gree weirdly....lustful looks. Looks that Gree was ignoring.

"Yeah you guys look...." Gree trailed off. Vin was wearing a metal skill mask and a hood, Corr's armor was covered in spikes and giant shoulder pauldrons and Taler had actually ripped the sleeves off of his outfit and replaced them with a grenade bandoleer. "Err..."

"Let's just agree that we shoot Azzi the next time we see him." Corr said.

"Right....anyway, everyone pile on my space ship. We're gonna go kill Zais." Gree said, loudly to catch the others attention.

"Wait...we work for Zais." Vin pointed out.

"Yeah and it sucks." Gree countered. "Seriously, can you guys think of one time where working for the Immortal of Darkness has been a good thing?"

.....

"Alright everyone on the ship." Taler said.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dace and Sindri stood around awkwardly, waiting. "I....guess she'll be back with help." Dace said.

"Yep." Sindri replied shortly.

More waiting.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Roewk acted quickly, creating a weapon for himself. Roots sprouted out of the ground and formed a giant club adorned with large wicked-looking thorns. "Not what I was going for but eh, it works." He said then lunged at Giana, swinging for her head.

Azzi appeared beside the group, cracking his neck. "That hurt." He growled. "Time to call in the reinforcements." The vampire-ninja whistled loudly. Super loudly. Like, it hurt to listen to it was so loud.

There was a brief moment of silence and then the nearest window exploded as Vampire Balloon Ridley busted in. "SQUEEEEEEEK!"

[Sariel of Tevet]

Heimrall began to dance around Cozaltene as he tried closing the portal.

"Oh Rickey you're so fine, you're so find you blow my mind. Hey Rickey!"

She clapped twice.

"Hey Rickey! Wait...or is it Vickey?"

She reached into her pocket and pulled out her ipod, and began to scroll through her list one by one. While she was distracted, a large and unruly serpent arose from within one of the nearby rifts that were popping up. It loomed over the back of her shoulder until she noticed its reflection in her ipod screen. It launched itself at the music device and Heimrall yanked it out of the way, watching the serpent crash into the ground.

"Mickey! I found it!"

The serpent curled up and lifted its head up at Heimrall again.

"No, the song. Not you. Is your name Mickey? You don't look like a Mickey. Aaaaaaaanywho."

She stomped her foot into the ground and a slender pillar came up out of the ground and stopped at head height. Bringing her hands to the top of the pillar, she pulled them apart and created the head of a hammer. She broke it from the ground and watched as the serpent eyed her new weapon. It lunged at Heimrall and she shoved the hammer into its mouth, lodging it between its fangs. She began to spin around in a circle, taking the serpent with her and slinging it dangerously about the room.

"You don't have a slither of hope now!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Captain Albert Alexander pulled the Sea Slater alongside GOLDBEZ and the Cosmic Crusaders.

"A foolish fight you say? I have seen more of those than I can properly recount. I shall join you all."

[Razgat]

"Can't leave this place alone without everything falling apart. It's like looking after a toddler..." Cybele cracked her knuckled, ready to go. "Nothing I can't fix."

[Monika]

"W-What?" Alastor stared at the newcomer in disbelief. "Fighting? Zais? Surely you're aware of how ridiculous an idea that is?" He shook his head emphatically and added, "I'm not much of a fighter anyway. I'm much more at home in a laboratory setting. Besides, I don't really have a problem with Zais. He helped get rid of the superweapon that nearly destroyed the country. And Aurora trusted him enough to give him a government position! I think everyone is just blowing this little skirmish out of proportion."

As soon as Alastor finished talking, a Shadow Soldier lunged for him. The Guardian deftly sidestepped the attack and threw an icy knife into the soldier's back, knocking it to the ground.

"Out of proportion," he repeated.

---

Meanwhile, in Awesome Land's Psi District, a young man was dealing with the story's toughest challenge yet. More difficult than battles with Immortals of Darkness. More dangerous than fights against evil vampires, widespread war, and emperor transitional periods. Yes, this man was dealing with the single most arduous task known to man: the job interview. Here in one of the district's Omnistar Coffee locations, the man sat in the office of manager Carolyn Cesario, prepared to verbally fight for his life.

"Nervous?" Carolyn asked, peering over her sunglasses at a pad of paper in front of her. "No need to be. We'll try to keep things nice and simple, alright?" Her words seemed stilted and indifferent, as if they had been rehearsed and repeated countless times before. "So, let's begin. Tell me a little about yourself."

"Well," the man started. "Name's Asher. Asher Blackden. Born about 24 years ago here in Awesome Land. Graduated from Central Awesome High School when I was only 16. Impressive, I know. Since then, I've been doing a little magical research work. You know, developing spells and stuff. Occasionally act as a consultant for the Magic and Energy Department."

"I see." Carolyn nodded her head and scribbled a few things on her notepad. "So what do you know about our company?"

"Heh. What don't I know about this place?" Asher ran a hand through his overly spiky hair and leaned back in his seat. "Omnistar Coffee is an offshoot of the Omnistar chain of restaurants, founded by Leon Veralice after he took over that dump, McJimmy's. You guys sell coffee and doughnuts and other breakfast stuff. Huge fan of the apple raisin scones, by the way."

"Mmhmm." More scribbling. "Now, what would you say is your biggest weakness?"

Asher scoffed. "Weaknesses? Who has time for that? I mean, since I probably have to answer this question anyway, I guess I could say that I'm overconfident. Look at me!" He stood up and pointed to his outfit. He was wearing a purple suit jacket and pants. Instead of a tie, a golden heart-shaped locket was around his neck. "You ever seen a guy dressed like this for an interview? I'm just that sure I'll get the job. Now that I say it out loud, that's hardly even a weakness."

"Uh-huh." Carolyn's writing slowed to a more deliberate pace as she continued with the questioning. "What makes you think you'd be a good fit here at Omnistar Coffee?"

Asher sat back down. "I'm good at lots of things. I'm thinking I could easily replace the president. What's his name? Max Stone? I'm like a top tier organizer and great at leading people. I could totally triple your profits in five years or less."

"Right." Carolyn wrote even more slowly and was making harsh, sharp strokes across the page. "You do understand that you are interviewing for a barista position? I don't believe the company is looking for anyone to enter upper management at this time."

"Eh." Asher shrugged. "Nothing I can't handle. I mean, I can stir coffee or whatever. Maybe bake a muffin or two."

She stopped writing entirely and was now looking up from her notes, properly viewing Asher for the first time since the interview started. "Do you have any service experience, Mr. Blackden?"

"Service experience? Ha!" Asher grabbed a peculiar looking folder from next to his chair. On the front was an emblem that looked like an Erlenmeyer flask with an X over it. He opened up the folder and slid his résumé across the table. "My experience is better than that. Take a look."

Carolyn caught the résumé and read over it. "It says here that you were a member of C.O.M.A.S.?"

He smirked. "Sure was. Deputy director of the Magical Research Division. Official liaison between our group and Guardian Lex. Pretty impressive title, right?"

But Carolyn was still staring down at the résumé, frowning. "Aren't they some sort of cult?" she asked.

"Hey! I'll have you know that the 'C' stands for 'committee', alright? Not. Cult!" Asher growled. His fists were clenched now, and it was apparent that he had answered that question several times before. "We were a completely legal organization sanctioned by the government!"

"I'm sure you were. And what was your reason for leaving the 'committee'?"

Asher sighed. "We were...disbanded."

"Well, then." Carolyn wrote one final thing in her notepad before setting it to the side. "That's all for the standard interview questions. Thank you for your time, Mr. Blackden." She extended her hand.

"Awesome." Asher grabbed her hand and shook it vigorously. "So, when do I start?"

The manager stood up and brushed off her skirt. "Actually, I think we're just going to take the new hire budget and use it to give our current head barista, Arabella, a raise. But we'll keep in touch if the position reopens."

"What?! Are you saying that the totally amazing Asher Blackden isn't good enough to work at this second-rate coffee joint?!"

"Mr. Veralice is fairly lenient with his hiring policies. Convicts, politicians, hyperactive teenagers...All are fair game for recruitment. He is an alleged criminal himself, you know. Unfortunately, we just don't see a position in our company for you at this point in time."

"Whatever!" Asher snatched his folder from the table with one hand and pointed his other at the door leading to the main restaurant. Magical sparks jumped across his fingers before flying forward in a bolt of lightning, destroying the door completely. "Like I need you losers anyway!" And so Asher furiously stomped through the new hole in the wall and left the building, parking himself on a bench a few blocks away.

"Ah, it's so unfair!" he groaned. "I walked in there. I was confident. I was assertive. I told her exactly what I wanted. I did everything I was supposed to! Why didn't I get the job?" With a heavy sigh, he positioned himself so he was lying down on the bench, staring up at the night sky. "If this keeps up, I'm gonna have to move back in with the parents. And that'll be embarrassing. Me, a twenty-four year old mage, forced to go crawling back to his family."

Asher opened up the locket around his neck, revealing a small photograph of the Immortal of Space. The edges were jagged, as if it had been cut out of another picture. "This is all your fault, you know? Shutting down our organization, leaving all us members without a job. Did you ever stop to think where we'd be without it?" He pressed his lips against the picture and sighed. "But I can't stay mad at you, my sweet, beautiful Artemis. Deep down, you truly cared for each and every C.O.M.A.S. member, didn't you?"

Snapping the locket shut, Asher jumped up from the bench and began walking toward a midsized building in the distance. "Speaking of C.O.M.A.S., I'd better clean the rest of the stuff out of our facility. Can't really keep it there since our little group is gone now. Time to haul that junk back to the parents' place. I'm never gonna hear the end of it from my old man..."

---

"Far away from here?" Leon grinned. "You got it, Johnny. Now, let's see!" Holding his index finger up in the air, checking the direction of the draft coming from the newly shattered window, he said, "If we take into account the force of Cassandra's punch, direction of the wind, wind resistance, and acceleration due to gravity, she should be landing right-" Leon vanished.

"-Here!" He reappeared right under where Lolandas would have landed, catching her with both arms. "Nice to see you again, Lolandas. You know, considering how tall you are, you're not all that heavy. Now, where should I take you for this little rendezvous of ours?"

It was a rhetorical question, of course, because Leon knew exactly where he was taking the woman. With a snap of his fingers (made only slightly more difficult since he was carrying someone), Leon, Lolandas, and about a dozen of her enthralled citizens were teleported away from Really Cool Land and into a very large restaurant. Rows of booths with leather seats and tables made from real, non-Shadow wood had been carefully set up around the dining area. Beautiful crystal chandeliers were giving off optimal not-too-bright/not-too-dim lighting. Classical music was playing from speakers hidden in the ceiling for the perfect dining experience. Surprisingly, only one other person was in there - a young man with neck-length gray hair and an equally gray suit and tie, staring at the far wall while writing something down in a notebook.

"Welcome to Omnistar's sole Fun Land location!" Leon proudly announced, still carrying Lolandas.

"What in the-" the man, caught off guard, whipped around, letting out a sigh of relief when he saw who had spoken. "Oh, it's just the owner. Good evening, Mr. Veralice. Didn't expect you to be here."

"Ah, Maximilien Stone! Didn't expect you to be here, either. Shouldn't you be at the headquarters, running things there?"

"The manager of this particular restaurant reported a considerable decline in revenue, so I'm trying to figure out why our pool of customers has dried up. One of those roles that I wasn't warned about when I accepted the job as president..."

"Well, too late to change your mind now!" Leon chuckled, ignoring the look he was getting from Max. "Admittedly, I'd like to know why no one's been coming, too. I invested quite a bit of money into this location. Got the fancy dining room for the adults and attached a playroom to the side for their children. I even opted to use real food instead of those Shadow products." He shrugged. "But hey! Instead of figuring out why no one has shown up in the past however long it's been, why don't you take care of the people who are here now?" He gestured toward the kidnapped Really Cool Land citizens behind him.

"Mr. Veralice," Max said, carefully regarding the small crowd. "These people look...possessed. Are you sure they're customers?"

"They will be once you take their money," Leon replied. "Now, go on to the kitchen and tell the chefs to start cooking. I expect my guests to be seated and fed by the time I return."

"And might I ask where you're going?"

"I'll be taking this one-" he tossed Lolandas up into the air and caught her again. "-to the playroom."

"Very well, Mr. Veralice. If you all will come with me, I can just show you to your seats..."

And as the President of Omnistar Inc. began reliving his days as a waiter, Leon escorted Lolandas through a side door and to the next building: the Omnistar Super Awesome Funhouse^TM. It had everything one might expect from such a room. There were colorful slides and ladders around, a cubby to store shoes and other personal belongings, and an enormous ball pit right in the center of the room.

"This is the largest ball pit in the world," Leon noted. "25 by 15 meters - they don't use the veral as their unit of measurement here, for whatever reason - and over 1.2 million differently colored balls. Here!" He set Lolandas up against a red bench facing the pit. With a smile, he said, "You marvel at this wonderful playroom and I'm just gonna make a quick phone call, alright?"

Walking over to the other side of the room, Leon took a cell phone from his pocket and dialed a particular number. It rang a few times, until finally he heard someone's voice.

"L-Lord Veralice?!" a girl answered incredulously.

"Hey, Sarina! How are you?" Leon asked. "You on your second date with Jeff yet?"

For a few moments there was no response, and though he couldn't see her, Leon was pretty sure Sarina was blushing. She eventually answered, "N-No, sir. We are a bit busy at the moment."

"Getting busy with your boyfriend?" Leon snickered. "Didn't mean to interrupt."

Another brief silence. "N-Not like that, Lord Veralice! I mean, we're adventuring right now, not-"

"Relax, Sarina. I'm only teasing you. Anyway, I need your help with something."

"Anything, sir," Sarina quickly replied, pleased to change the subject of their conversation.

"What's the last attack you saw?" came Leon's question.

"I'm...not sure I understand."

"See, I'm about to get into a battle, and I'm trying to think of a good move to start off with. Since you're out there adventuring, I thought maybe you had seen a cool technique. Something flashy or dangerous."

"Hmm." Sarina considered this for a moment. Right now she was watching a magical infection get contained, but that was hardly an attacking move. "Let's see...The last attack I saw...Well, there was this woman. Samantha, if I recall correctly. She and the rest of us were fighting a sorcerer known as the Archmage. He proved to be too powerful for most of us, so we left Samantha to deal with him on her own. Right before we left, she started fiddling with her glasses, and suddenly hundreds of light spears were upon the sorcerer. I was barely able to dodge and escape with my life. The technique was certainly flashy, and didn't seem to care one way or the other about collateral damage."

"Sounds perfect! So, what was the attack called?"

"Well, she didn't say it out loud, but I did manage to catch a glimpse of her glasses before we fled. There was a menu screen, and I believe the text said..."

Leon repeated the next three words he heard from Sarina. "Brilliant Lancer Overdrive!" He swung the Masamune in an arc in front of him, and the space around Lolandas distorted as a thousand spears of searing white light appeared before her, each one poised to strike.

"Excellent. Thanks much, Sarina. You go on and have more fun adventures with your boyfriend, alright?"

The response Leon received was the familiar beep of someone hanging up the phone.

"Hahaha. Alright, then!" With another snap of his fingers, Leon warped up to the top of one of the slides. "Let Round 1 between the great Leon Veralice and Lolandas, Bride of Xavian, begin!"

The spears of light flew toward their target.

[Calefrun]

Kayla ducked as a claw sliced the air just over her head, then quickly jammed her sword up through the torso of a large, humanoid creature. She dove through it as it dissipated, and two beast-like enemies charged into each other right where she had just been standing. They were defeated with a quick slash, then she looked to see how the others were doing.

Al was surrounded by a small mob of enemies, but he was managing to prevent any from getting to close with a flurry of explosive spells. Heimrall was slinging her hammer around, taking out enemies and slinging around a serpent that had been unfortunate enough to get stuck to the business end of the weapon. Even so, an alarming number of monsters was continuing to pour out of the Rift.

"There's so many of them..." She said quietly before springing into the air, performing a backflip, and thrusting her sword into the scorpion-type monster that had been trying to sneak up on her. "I haven't seen this many since-" She glanced at Cozaltene, and saw that there was a small group approaching him. A few plasma knives sent flying in that direction quickly took care of them, and she noticed the surface of the Rift begin to churn and ripple.

"It's working!" She called out to the others, "Just keep this up a bit longer!" As soon as she finished speaking, a large distortion formed on the surface of the portal. She readied more daggers, but as the creature took shape her eyes widened and her face paled.

The beast was enormous, dwarfing all of the others by comparison. It stood on four legs, and had a pair of massive wings and a thick tail that spanned almost twenty feet. While the other monsters appeared somewhat ethereal, this one had solid scales, and large spikes protruding from its spine. The Rift Dragon let out a horrifying roar, and Kayla could only stare at it, paralyzed by terror.

"N-no... no that can't..." she stammered as the creature quickly assessed its surroundings, then settled its gaze on her. "It's just like... how... how can this be here? If this Rift has the power to summon something like this, does that mean that he's..." The gargantuan monster leaped straight for her, and swung a claw that was large enough to crush a small car straight for her. Just before the attack struck, a huge fiery blast striking its left flank caused it to tumble, landing just behind Kayla.

"Hey, are you alright over there?" Al yelled over to her, having dealt with the majority of the creatures he had been fighting.

Snapping back to her senses, she called back "Yeah, nice save!" She turned around to face the dragon, and yelled loudly enough for both Al and Heimrall to hear her over the sounds of combat, "Be careful, this thing is a lot tougher than all the others!" She prepared to avoid another attack, but instead the monster swept it's tail, aiming straight for the defenseless Cozaltene.

Kayla hurriedly created another shield to defend him, but the attack shattered it without losing any momentum. "Shit!"

[Mizagium]

Uggo gave Alastor a disapproving look (for what it was worth, anyway; that mask he wore wasn’t very good at conveying facial expressions) but couldn’t help but agree with the sentiment. “Well. I don’t really feel like fighting anybody with a Z in his name, not after Zoltar the Tickler…So I’ll take this little weasel-man” he indicated Alastor “and go build a spaceship or something.” He made a point of ignoring the Ariadne and the slow pointing that the Crusaders were doing.

“I just want off this mudball, alright? And to fine my wife I guess so I’ll be…” He trailed off, finally getting a good look at Blanche, Daar Lorra, and Samuel. “Wait. You three look familiar? Do I…do I owe you money? Did I steal from you?”

“I don’t think so,” Blanche said warily. “I mean, we used to be the Cosmic Crusaders, but I don’t recall ever running into you.”

“Ah!” She snapped his fingers. “That’s it. The Crusaders! I…I did steal from you lot, actually, and I’m a little offended you don’t remember me, but I’ll let that go so you can go fight the bad guy or whatever.” He turned away and hoisted Alastor under his arm, ignited his rocket peg-legs, and blasted off. “Point me to the Space Research place or whatever, little man.”

“Wait!” Sam called after him. “I want to build a spaceship, too…” He let an outstretched had fall sadly to his waist.

“We can’t,” Daar Lorra said. “We’ve been drafted.” They sighed as a trio. “All aboard,” she called sadly and they trudged onto the spaceship.

GOLDBEZ DID NOT FOLLOW, BUT INSTEAD TOOK A FLYING LEAP AND STRADLED THE TOP OF THE ARIADNE. “BWHAHAHAHA. I’LL TAKE YOUR FLYING HORSE, MAH BOI, BUT I WON’T BE JOINING YOU IN THE FILTHY CONTRAPTION. IF I ENTER YOUR SHIP, I’LL ENTER EVERY SHIP YOUR SHIP HAS EVER BEEN WITH, AND WHILE THE THOUGHT DOESN’T TURN ME OFF, PER SE, I DON’T EXACTLY HAVE THE TIME FOR A PROTRACTED VEHICULAR LOVE-MAKING SESSION RIGHT NOW.”

HE STROKED THE HULL SENSUALLY. “SOON, MY DEAR, SOON.”

-

Elsewhere, Knox became vaguely aware of actual plot happening nearby, so he took Cybele by the arm, muttering apologies, and teleported the short distance, to the Ariadne’s temporary port. He was only mildly amused to see a spaceship here in Dynasty City. Only catching the tail end of the boarding party, he spied Clara Lux, looking baffled.

“Ah, excuse me,” he tugged Cybele along. “You look Imperial and important, can you tell me…is this ship going to fight Zais?”

Clara heard him, but when she answered, she addressed Cybele, not him.

“Ah, my lady Guardian-General.” She performed the Awesome Land salute perfunctorily. “Yes, it appears as if this craft is taking us up to the Dark Fortress. I would fly there myself, but I am…exhausted.”

While they were talking, Clara Lux’s column of Imperial troops rounded the corner and, upon a gesture from their general, filed into the Ariadne without a word.

“Well, alright.” He turned back to Cybele. “I’m going with them, too. Care to join us and punch Zais really hard?”

-

Rick Thunder, having been kicking Shadow Soldier ass by himself for a while, happened to wander over (yonder) to the spaceship, because apparently, it emits a plot beacon that attracts main characters, but I digress.

“Yo yo yo,” he declared, spitting out his cigarette and snatching the sunglasses off his face. Kenney Chesney, the bone zombie dilophosaurus, shambled along after him, hissing and clicking. “Motherfissing spaceship,” he mouthed. He quickly put his glasses back on and turned away, popping his collar to retain his coolness.

In doing so, he found the Sea Slater, and Captain Albert Alexander. “Ay, yo, Capitan,” he called. “You hitching a ride on this crazy thing?” He jerked a thumb at the Ariadne.

-

Johnny caught up with Leon a moment later and didn’t exactly frown, but he certainly wasn’t smiling. “I’m not sure I even want to ask why you brought her here, of all places.”

Lolandas recovered from being hauled across the country and dumped into a ball pit after a moment and struck the Nocturne into the balls. Darkness consumed a portion of the pit (but not the whole thing because this is a huge fizzing ball pit) which subsequently rose into the air, each all finding a light spear to intercept. Upon impact, the darkness fizzled out and the ball rejoined his multicolored brethren.

“You will pay for…for…Ah!” Lolandas honestly couldn’t find a word strong enough to convey exactly how insulted she felt in that moment. Being dragged away from a fight, being dumped into a children’s play area, and then assaulted with light. It was insufferable.

“I will not be humiliated!” It failed to strike her as ironic that she was enchanting colorful plastic balls with darkness while screaming about being taken seriously.

Johnny snickered. “Lady, you need to chill.” He hadn’t meant it as a pun, but when he conjured a pair of Ice blade, he mentally kicked himself for it. He considered switching elements just to avoid the pun, but it was too late. Leon saw. Lolandas saw, the possessed RCL citzens saw. You saw. There was no going back. Reluctantly committed to it, he leaped at Lolandas, into the ball pit, swinging his razor-sharp ice blades.

-

Back at the Really Cool Palace, the remaining enthralled citizens all just sort of…collapsed, obviously not possessed by Darkness anymore. Cassandra grimaced. “And just like that, I’m left out of the fight again.”

[Monika]

Alastor frowned, not entirely sure how he felt about being carried by some kind of space pirate and rushed across the land by rocket legs. But he didn't struggle, pleased to be taken away from any unnecessary battles.

"Yes, you'll just want to make a left here," he instructed, pointing toward a relatively chaos-free street. "Then straight for about three verals, then a right, keep going straight, another right..."

After about ten or fifteen minutes, during which it was pretty obvious that Alastor was deliberately choosing the route that gave them the smallest chance of running into trouble, he and Uggo made it to the heart of Awesome Land's Gamma District, right in front of a very futuristic-looking, chrome plated, dome-shaped building. Next to a set of automatic doors was a device with a thin slot, perfectly fitted for some kind of card.

"Now, let's see here..." Wriggling free of Uggo's grasp, Alastor rummaged through his robe pocket and retrieved a slim plastic card. One side was branded with the official Awesome Land seal, while the other had a picture of a much happier looking Alastor. With his usual A-rank marksmanship, he threw the card directly into the slot. A few beeps and blips and flashing lights later, the card came flying back at him as a computerized woman's voice spoke.

"Identification confirmed: Guardian Alastor. Welcome back to the Awesome Land Technology Center."

There was a soft hum as the automatic doors slid open, and Alastor stepped to the side just in time for-

"AAAAALAAAAASTOOOOOOOOOOR!!!!" A woman with wild, frizzy hair, swirly glasses, and a coffee stained lab coat came barreling through the ALTC entrance, crashing right into Captain Uggo. "Hey, you're not Alastor!" she said dejectedly, frowning at this impostor. But that frown turned right back into a smile as she got a better look at him, seating herself comfortably on his chest.

"Heeeeey, is that an energy cutlass?" she asked, grabbing the sword at Uggo's side. "I've always wanted to see one of these in person! They keep me away from the weapons development projects! Ooooh, and do those peglegs have rockets?!" She crawled over to Uggo's legs and poked at them a few times, accidentally activating one and sending them both flying into the wall of a nearby building. "Fascinating!" she exclaimed.

"That is one of our scientists. Evangeline," Alastor explained.

"But most people just call me Eva!"

"When the two of you are done, please step inside. I would like to begin this project at once," Alastor said, hurrying into the building.

"Yeah! Yeah! Let's go!" Eva nodded, a huge grin across her face. "Oh, we'd better hurry before those doors close! I left my ID card inside again!" And, taking Uggo by the arm, she scurried off after Alastor.

---

"Ugh. I'm getting rather bored..." Galro muttered, having spent the last twenty posts freezing, thawing, drowning, and otherwise harming-with-water various Shadow Soldiers.

"Hey, you and I are on the same page for once!" Scern grinned. "Isn't that awesome?"

"So awesome." Galro rolled his eyes. "Where in the world did Artemis disappear to? She should have returned by now. Surely whatever enemy she decided to fight couldn't have taken that long to finish."

"Maybe she took a nap or something," Scern suggested.

"Doubtful. Does she seem like the type who goes to sleep?"

"Well, she is human, and I'm pretty sure sleeping is a normal human thing to do."

"But during the middle of war? Honestly, Scern, you are such a-" Galro stopped himself and turned toward some point in the distance. "Do you feel that, Scern?"

"Sure do!" Scern pointed a metal pole in the direction Galro was facing. "That's definitely the feel of impending plot advancement. I think it might almost be time for the Zais battle. Should we go over there?"

Galro scoffed. "Hmph. Why should we? Karzem has left us. Artemis has left us. Seraphina only knows where that bratty Immortal of Earth has run off to. I could be using this time to study and gain full control over Llenchi's power set. Why should we be the only members of our team to deal with that obnoxious Darkness zealot?"

"I dunno!" Scern shrugged, seating himself on a freshly conjured metal chair. "But if Artemis comes back and finds out that they left for Zais without her, after it was her idea to have him killed...And then she finds out that we decided to deviate from the plan and stay here...She's gonna be pretty mad, you know? I'm not sure we should be taking that risk."

Galro scoffed again, summoning an icy chair next to Scern's. "Come now, Scern. In the short time we've been with her, have you ever known Artemis to become angry? Or express any emotion, for that matter?"

"No, but do you want to be there the first time she does?"

But Galro was no longer paying Scern any attention, now fully engrossed in a copy of Ice Techniques Monthly he pulled from his pocket.

---

Leon shook his head in feigned disapproval, wagging his finger at Johnny. "That was terrible," he said. "Good thing I'm not the emperor. And that this isn't Awesome Land, because that kind of wordplay was punishable by death." Leon pushed a button on his cell phone and smiled as a loud whirring noise could be heard coming from beneath the ball pit. "I think both of you really need to clean up your act!"

No sooner had he said that did a pressurized stream of clear gel shoot up from the ball pit, propelling Lolandas right into Johnny's path. "Hand sanitizer," Leon explained. "Ball pits - especially those this large - are breeding grounds for all sorts of bacteria. In an effort to appease the parents, I had this state of the art sanitation system installed. In the long run, it's actually less costly than hiring a janitor. And, according to the International Regulatory Association for Food and Drugs, the sanitizer is even safe for human consumption!" He thought about this for a moment before muttering, "Wait, was that before or after I bribed them? And did the kids end up drinking it? Because that might explain why people stopped coming. Hmm..."

[Sariel of Tevet]

Heimrall watched as the dragon began to fill the room and start its attack. The serpent slid off the end of her hammer and crashed into the dragon and dissipated on contact, and causing the dragon to stagger back a bit. She threw her hammer and the beast ducked downwards, allowing the the hammer to glance off of its shoulder. The stone scraped across its scales hit the wall behind it with a crash.

She crossed her arms and stomped the ground with a huff.

"Looks like he is trying to tip the scales, guess I need a bigger weapon."

Heimrall bent over and placed her hands onto the ground, and pulled the earth upwards. It formed a large cannon in front of her, with a hollow base. She made a toothpick sized match out of some residual dirt and flicked it across the stone wick at the back of the cannon. Naturally, it didn't ignite, so she knelt down next to the wick and made fizzle noises as she used her powers to withdraw it slowly.

A hefty stone cannon ball shot out and collided with one of the dragon's wings, but it was able to shrug it off for the most part.

"Well shit. Guess I have to try harder for once."

She placed both her hands on the cannon, and brought up another cannon ball through the ground and up the hollow base of the cannon, reloaded, and fired again (albeit without the sound effects and fake match), and repeated. Unleashing a flurry of stone cannon fodder on the beast.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Captain Albert Alexander nodded to Rick Thunder.

"Aye. And I am glad to see you joining with this expedition. I will be sure to have the minstrels add your name to the songs that are sung after our battle. Now, crew, let's get on with it!"

The Sea Slater was brought into motion and began to board the Ariadne with the rest of the group, taking up quite a bit of space in the hallways and knocking over many a flight attendant with those little carts of peanuts and ginger ale. However, he kept pushing, until the Sea Slater had managed to make it all the way to the bridge without a single casualty on the ship (the other ship).

[Razgat]

Cybele ripped her arm away from Knox. She didn't appreciated the man handling. She cleared her throat a bit to assert her authority. "An invitation to kick ass is an invitation I can't refuse."

She smiled at the two and cracked her knuckles, ready to go.

[Mizagium]

As the Crusaders and Knox and Clara Lux found spaces within the Ariadne to sit, Knox felt the need to say, “You know. I’m pretty sure most of us could just…fly or warp to the Dark Fortress. There’s not really a need…for…” but he trailed off as everyone shot him a disapproving glare. As if to say ‘dude, shut up, we’re on a damn spaceship’. Even Clara Lux seemed excited to ride.

“Ah. Right. Uh, nevermind.” He coughed nervously and stared absently out the window.

-

Propelled by the certainly not safe for children sanitizer, Lolandas met Johnny’s ice blades with the Blackblade. They hung there in the air for a moment before they pushed away from one another. Lolandas went back into the sanitizer, which she cut away from herself with the Blackblade. Johnny landed on the edge of the ball pit, but the twin waves of sanitizer continued towards him.

“Dammit, Leon!” He dropped the ice blades (and they vanished) and caught the sanitizer waves by freezing them in the air. “I hope this doesn’t ruin your pipes or anything.” Safe for the moment, Johnny yanked on the ice energy, pulling the frozen sanitizer out of the pit (taking a few balls with them) and, shrugging, decided they would make good long-distance bludgeoning weapons.

Lolandas was less than amused when the first frozen hunk slammed into where she had been standing a second before. She landed gracefully atop the arc of ice and ran along it towards Johnny. He tried to slam the other one on top of her, but, like before, she used the Blackblade, holding it above her as she ran, cutting the ice into two nice halves that fell away from from.

With a curse, Johnny exploded the ice he controlled, filling the room with thousands of razor-sharp shards of dangerous sanitization agent, which he whipped into a whirlwind with Lolandas at the center. He tightened the vortex, which increased the rotational speed, hopefully driving more sharp ice into Lolandas.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t going to work. The Nocturne had produced a Darkness barrier around her, and any ice shard that impacted it turned a deep ebony color and stopped moving. Johnny realized too late what this meant. Lolandas concocted her own ice storm and then there were two competing storms of sharp, poisonous ice flying through the Omnistar.

“Well.” Johnny couldn’t help but be impressed. “I suppose I should have expected that.”

“I will not suffer these indignities any longer!” Her black ice compressed into a single large spear, which hovered for a moment before rocketing forward. Johnny let go of the ice storm and dove aside. The black ice spear missed him and Leon, but tore through the rest of the Omnistar, taking out walls, tables, chairs, light fixtures, and most of the kitchen.

[Calefrun]

Heimrall's stone cannon balls hit their mark, causing Riftley to stagger backwards. The monster quickly regained its footing, then let out a fierce roar, sending a out cascade of darkness from its jaws. The attack enveloped the Immortal and her weapon, and the makeshift cannon cracked before collapsing into a pile of rocks and dust. While Riftley was distracted, Kayla seized the opportunity to charge at it and attempt to plunge her blade into its flank. Her plasma katana collided with the dragon's scales, but instead of piercing through, her sword bounced harmlessly off of the creature's powerful armor. The Rift dragon swept its tail again, and Kayla was hit by the full force of the attack, sending her flying across the spacious room until she crashed into a concrete wall. Cracks spread across the wall from the point of impact, and the Traveler fell to the floor where she lay motionless. Riftley turned its attention back to Cozaltene and reared back to prepare another breath attack.

"YOU WILL NOT HURT MY FRIEND!!" Al dropped his weapon as he yelled, and bright flames engulfed his body. He ran straight at the dragon, and just as it opened its gargantuan moth to roar, he delivered an explosive punch to the side of its face, causing it to topple over. It clawed at the German, but he jumped over the attack and brought both of his fists down onto its skull. Riftley roared in frustration and began thrashing about, knocking Al back several feet.

Al opened his mouth wide and gave a roar of his own, and an inferno blasted forth from his mouth. Riftley flapped one of its colossal wings, and the resulting gust scattered the flames and caused the German to lose his balance. The dragon followed up by lunging and snapping with its massive teeth, but was suddenly stopped just short of its target. It struggled to move, but found itself rooted in place. Looking at the beast's feet, Al saw that one of its claws was covered in a layer of ice which had erupted from a large, circular glyph on the floor.

"Offensive magic isn't really my style, but... I picked up a few useful tricks in other worlds." Glancing towards the source of the voice, Al spotted Kayla standing, one hand extended towards Riftley, the other gripping a weapon consisting of a long metallic pole and a scythe blade made of bright pink plasma. She dashed to his side, and prepared to strike at the dragon. "You alright? Gotta say, that was pretty badass just now."

"I'm fine," He nodded, then looked at his burning fists. "Never used my magic like this before, though. When I saw that thing going after Rick, I... just kinda reacted without thinking about it."

Kayla smiled and said, "Well, whatever you're doing- keep doing it. Let's try and beat this thing fast, I don't know how much longer my magic will-" A loud cracking sound echoed throughout the basement as Riftley managed to pull its foot free. "...hold." The two humans dove in opposite directions to avoid being stomped on, after which Kayla rolled and quickly conjured a shield between herself and the dragon as it let loose another flood of darkness. Sighing, she muttered to herself, "Guess I'm running out of options here."

She slammed her scythe onto the ground, and black runes began appearing on the floor beneath her feet. They quickly spread until they formed a circle around twenty feet in diameter, then began to emit an eerie green glow. Kayla turned to Al and spoke in a warning tone, "Stay back. This could get a bit... chaotic." A pillar of green flame erupted from the rune circle, extending to the basement's ceiling and completely obscuring Kayla. The fire receded after only a few seconds, but where the Traveler had stood there was now something else entirely.

The being that had taken her place was gigantic- almost the size of the dragon itself. Its torso was composed of a translucent, luminescent green substance, and it was adorned with spiked black gloves and a tattered cloth garment, under which it had no legs. The creature's face, if it even had one, was shrouded in darkness by a black hood, however a pair of glowing green eyes were visible underneath, as well as a mouth curled into a malicious smile. In its hands was a giant black scythe, which it brandished towards Riftley.

Al could only stare in shock and awe as an inexplicable sense of dread began to fill him, and it felt as though all warmth had been sucked out of both his body and the air around him. Riftley, however, appeared unfazed by the transformation, and pounced at its ethereal foe, aiming to crush the newcomer with a single bite.

'Kayla' brought down her scythe, catching the dragon by its neck. Spinning the weapon around effortlessly, she sent Riftley soaring across the room. The beast flapped its wings to regain control of its own momentum, barely avoiding a collision with the wall behind it. Before it was able launch a counterattack, 'Kayla' launched a volley of green orbs that struck Riftley on its wings and torso, causing it to fall to the floor. 'She' followed after her enemy and brought her scythe down across its midsection, shattering many of the scales protecting the dragon's belly. The reaper raised her weapon to strike the final blow, but suddenly disappeared into thin air. Where she had been, the original Kayla stood with wobbling legs, using her plasma scythe to support herself.

"Not even... thirty seconds?" She panted, "I'm still... not strong enough..." Sinking to her knees, she watched as Riftley got back up. Before it could attack, a blaster shot struck one of the scales on its head, and ricocheted towards the ceiling. It quickly turned to look for the source of the attack, and saw Cozaltene sitting with his back against the wall, pistol in hand, and no sign of the Rift behind him.

The boy grinned and spat, "Rest in pepperonis, you scaly son of a bitch." Riftly roared in anger as its body began to shake and convulse, and a dark fog seeped from beneath its scales. After a couple of seconds, the dragon dissipated entirely.

"We... we did it!" Al cheered, then sat down and took a deep breath. "For a second there I was a little worried."

Kayla sighed. "Yeah, we did. That's one less world-threatening problem for Awesome Land to have to deal with." She looked up and grinned at him. "You did great. You both did." Turning her head towards Cozaltene, she saw that he appeared to have fallen asleep. "Heh, looks like closing the Rift drained the kid. Well, I think we all deserve a rest after this." She suddenly frowned, hearing something fall from the floor above and land behind her.

"Well done! Truly, that fight was quite impressive." Kayla froze. She recognized the voice, and it was one that she had been certain she would never hear again. The newcomer continued, "I would have joined in sooner, but... I sensed someone on their way to interfere, and seeing as how this basement has enough intruders already, I decided to deal with him." He tossed something onto the ground. Kayla couldn't tell what it was from her angle, but based on the sound it made when it hit the floor, it was about as heavy as a person. A very large person.

"GABE!!" Al shot up to his feet, eyes wide in shock and mouth agape.

"Oh, a friend of yours?" The man laughed. "I suppose that explains why he was hobbling his way through streets filled with monsters to reach this place. A pity. I might have spared him if I had known." Laughing again he added, "Well, no, I probably wouldn't have."

Kayla slowly stood to her feet and turned around, confirming her fears. Laying in a crumpled heap on the ground was the body of the man known as Gabriel Eberhart. And standing next to it was a man wearing a hooded black cloak. The hood was down, however, and Kayla had a clear view of his face. His features looked nearly identical to her own, and the nearly hip length-hair atop his head was the same color as her own. Quietly, to the point where she was almost whispering, she asked in disbelief, "Cale?"

He cocked his head quizzically, then pointed upwards in a gesture of realization. "Ah, right, that was what this body's previous occupant was called. Named after a grandfather or something, right? Sorry, but I've lived a very long time. Can't just remember the name of EVERY foolish mortal I've killed- even if they give me as much trouble as you and your brother have."

"Sark." She stated flatly, her face emotionless.

"The one and only." He placed a hand on his hip and struck a pose, smiling at her and showing the sharp fangs that had grown in her twin brother's mouth. "So what will it be? Shall we settle this here, once and for all?"

Kayla closed her eyes, and for a moment said nothing. Then she turned around to face Al, who had already taken a battle stance and held a fireball in each of his fists. "We're leaving."

"What?!?" He shouted in disbelief. "To Hell with that! He... Gabe... We have to stop him!"

She walked up to him and grabbed his wrist. "We can barely stand; he would crush us easily. We're leaving now."

Sark laughed maniacally. "And what makes you think I'll just let you escape? Now that I finally have you in front of me after all this time?"

Kayla glared at him over her shoulder. "Because I know you. I know that you enjoy the chase, and I know that you take the most pleasure in destroying people when they're at full strength, so that as they die they know that you are the most powerful being they've ever faced. Or something to that effect, right?"

"Hah, you make it sound like I have some sort of superiority complex. But you are correct, I do find it far more satisfying that way." The vampire scratched his beard. "Very well, you may go. You are not my primary target at the moment anyway. I'll deal with you once I've had a bit more fun with this world."

As Kayla and Al made their way over to Cozaltene's napping form, the latter of the pair asked quietly, "What about the other girl that was with us?"

Kayla replied, "Heimrall is an Immortal. Even after taking a direct hit from the dragon, she's more than a match for Sark in his current state. He'll try to kill her eventually, but she's safe for now." She grabbed Cozaltene by the wrist as well, then closed her eyes. I don't have the strength left to pick somewhere in particular, but... anywhere is better than this! A second later, the trio disappeared.

---

As soon as they reappeared, Kayla sank down into a sitting position and began trying to catch her breath.

Al stood with his arms crossed, and a deep scowl on his face. "I hope we run into that monster again. I'm going to make him pay for what he did to Gabe." As the reality of what had just occurred finally sunk in, his expression changed to one of sorrow. "Gabe... I can't believe that he's gone... He always felt like he had to protect me and Rick, but why did he follow us when he hadn't fully recovered yet? Why did... just... why?" Tears began streaming down his face.

"Stick with me, and you're bound to see Sark again sooner or later," Kayla growled. "I don't know what he's planning now, but I've beat him before, and I can do it again." She opted not to mention that she had never fought the vampire without her brother, let alone with Sark controlling Cale's body. Still, she couldn't help but feel that there was something odd about the way he had acted. It's true that he prefers to kill people when they're at full strength, but... I honestly wasn't expecting him to let us go so easily. Especially not after all the trouble I've caused him. Knowing him, I would have expected him to set up a trap or something. What's going on in that head of his?

Cozaltene yawned, then sat up. "So, if you could teleport us the whole time, how come we had to run all the way to that building?"

"I tried to teleport there," Kayla explained, "but something was blocking my magic. It was gone by the time we left, obviously." Wasn't he asleep? It finally occurred to her to try and figure out where she had landed them, and she took a look around. They seemed to be in a spaceship of some sort, and there were several people around them. "Oh, um... hi."

---

Back in the basement of the ruined Whooters, Sark stood laughing to himself. "Well I have to admit," with nobody else to speak to, he directed his imminent monologue at Gabe's corpse, "I'm impressed with how well she took the news of my using her brother's body as a shell to house my spririt, especially given that she thought I was dead." He summoned a blade into his hand and severed the man's head, then reached over and picked it up so that he could continue talking to it as he paced around the room.

"I wonder if she realized that I had laid a trap? Well, it's no matter. Either way, she played right into my hands- believing that she had predicted my intentions and escaped my clutches. Even in her weakened state, there was a chance that she could have somehow interfered with my plans. After all, this trap wasn't meant for her, oh no no no..."

He stuck a hand into his pocket, and retrieved a small device with a cartoonishly large button on top of it. "I suppose I should be glad that the Space Immortal was so perturbed by my deception. Either that, or she simply assumed that I would have run far, far away after witnessing her power. Regardless, she didn't even consider that there may have been a secondary basement floor, one that allowed access to Dynasty City's sewage system. It's a pity that I had to sacrifice a Rift in order to have time to complete my preparations, but it may well have been worth it. After all, these 'Immortals' seem to fancy themselves the guardians of this world, or some such nonsense. Rather than having to hunt them all down, wouldn't it be so much easier if I could just get their attention and have them come to me?"

He tossed Gabe's head aside, and began gently running his thumb over the top of the button. "Not that this act will compare to some of the things this country has faced before... but then, it isn't my intention to immediately become the highest priority target. After all, if I'm to defeat them, I'll have to consume far more humans. Still, causing them at least some annoyance is as good a start as any." He pressed the button, and immediately felt a rumbling beneath his feet. He smiled, and muttered, "I've no taste for mindless destruction, so I'll be taking my leave now. Things to do, people to kill and all that." With one final, exaggerated gesture towards the headless body before him, he added, "Farewell, food."

He teleported out of the basement, leaving nothing behind but the echo of his cold laughter. Within seconds the rumbling grew to a loud roar, then the blast from the bombs Sark had placed broke through the basement floor and crashed through the ceiling, and shot into the sky with all of the debris from the building. Cracks formed along the streets of Dynasty city, before the explosion ripped through the sewer system and tore apart all of the nearby buildings. Citizens, Guards, and Shadow Soldiers alike were utterly incinerated by the blast, as buildings were launched into the sky. When it was all finally over, the former location of the Whooters was the center of a crater measuring about 30 verals in radius, reaching nearly to the base of the Second Imperial Tower.

[Myrdraxxis]

"So....I guess everyone is here?" Gree looked around at the assembled group. It was an...interesting mix to say the least. And then Kayla appeared. "....Okay. NOW is everyone here?"

Which was when Leske walked out of the crew kitchen, sandwich in hand. "Oh. Hey. You're all back."

"Who are you?" Myrxxan asked.

"And HOW did you get aboard my ship?" Gree was rapidly losing patience. Leske considered that for a moment, then shrugged.

"Eh."

"Can we go now? We have an insane Immortal to defeat." Dace cut in impatiently.

"Right, of course." Gree nodded. He turned to Sindri. "So where are we going exactly?"

"I tracked him to the northern border of Awesome Land. I can get us pretty close to it with my magic-"

"Nah. We got this." Gree cut in. "Helmsman, floor it!" He turned and spoke into his comm. With that half a second of warning the Ariadne took off at high speeds.

And lo did the spaceship Ariadne head towards the northern border of Awesome Land.

Actually, it overshot their destination several times.

Finally though, with a final loop-de-loop and a barrel roll the Ariadne came to a stop above the gathered forces of Zais.

The land below them was literally flowing with Darkness. It was difficult to discern where the corrosive substance ended and the land began.


From his position on the ground Zais stared up at the ship in bemusement for a long moment. Then he snapped his fingers. "A space program! That's what I forgot to do!"


"Well, I see him." the Ariadne's pilot reported. "You wanna get out here?"

Gree thought for a moment. "Try shooting him with the cannons first."

"Roger." THe guns of the Ariadne opened up and fired.

[Sariel of Tevet]

Captain Albert Alexander heard the familiar volley of cannon fire and decided to bring the Sea Slater to life. Unfortunately, the ship was still on the bridge of the Ariadne. He twirled his magnificent mustache and began to hatch a plan.

"Nameless first mate! Open a window!"

"A window, sir?"

"Of course! We can't go shattering the glass of such a fine vessel now can we?? We have already scuffed the floor all to hell and back anyway. I don't want to cause any more damage."

"Yes...sir."

The first mate went and opened up the windows to one side of the bridge, because apparently that is possible, and Captain Albert Alexander pulled the Sea Slater along side them. The crew below deck pushed the cannons into attack position and leaned them out over the side of the Ariadne and began to fire at full force. Captain Albert Alexander left his head back and let out a salty sailor laugh.

"Now this will make an excellent song."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Heimrall slowly raised up to her feet after being knocked back by the creature. After getting her bearings, she noticed a fanged man playing Hamlet with a decapitated head, but that honestly wasn't the strangest thing she had seen since finding out she was an immortal. The man disappeared and a series of large explosions began to rumble the basement.

"Well time to get the fuck out of here. I don't want a pizza this action."

She looked around for an escape route and saw a residual path left by Kayla and the others, and hopped right through it onto the bridge of the Ariadne. The group was already attacking Zais at full tilt, and she saw Kayla, as well as many other people scattered around...including Captain Albert Alexander's ship on the ship and doing a drive bye on the Immortal of Darkness.

"Yup, that's the strangest thing I've seen all day. Gonna have to tweet that."

She pulled out her cell phone, which amazingly still had battery life left and snapped a picture of the Sea Slater, and began to compose a post.

"Plot if finally happening and I find shipception over there blasting the naked guy from my last post. #phrasing. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand post!"

The tweet uploaded and updated her location to "mile high club." The picture immediately got the following of half her high school, but most importantly the AV Club. An illegal stream was this set up on the interwebs and the fight with the Immortal of Darkness was broadcast to every television, computer screen, advertisement board, and absurdly over fucking priced apple watch in Dynasty City and those god damn cable stealing neighboring planets. GET YOUR OWN FUCKING CABLE SUBSCRIPTION. IT IS LIKE TWENTY DOLLARS A MONTH, FREELOADERS.

Her phone blew up with texts from all of her friends from school, who probably weren't her friends but mostly cray back stabbing skanks who be jelly and shit. But Becks was cool, she texted first with a starry eyed and drooling kitty emoji with the caption "OH EM GEE GURL YOU FAMOUS NOW. LET'S GET A REALITY SHOW."

[Mizagium]

Sarah was feeling uncharacteristically worn out. While she hadn’t directly participated in the fight against the Time Eater, the stress of that whole ordeal was beginning to take its toll. As well, she had finally managed to get everyone who needed to rest into a bed. Only she, Jace, Miki, and Anhura were up and able, for what it was worth. Jace leaned against a wall, putting on a cool guy act that he hoped disguised how tired he was. Miki paced slowly, frequently removing her glasses to massage her eyes. Anhura and Sarah had simply slumped into empty chairs with heavy sighs.

“What a mess,” Sarah said simply. All grunted in general agreement. “Is, uh, everything ok?” Miki looked at her strangely. “With time, I mean.”

“Ah. Right.” The curly-haired girl rubbed her eyes again before moving to the console that Sarah and Anhura sat before. Whatever she did, Sarah didn’t see anything happen, but after a minute, Miki nodded satisfactorily. “Yeah. Looks like the Timestream is stabilizing. Everything should be back to normal soon. Whatever passes for normal around here, anyway.”

To that, Anhura sighed again, this time more wistfully. “Then I guess I really don’t have a home to go back to anymore.” When Jace and Miki looked at her, she added, “We always knew that our home-time wouldn’t exist after the Time Eater was destroyed, that it wouldn’t magically come back into existence after being eaten. But…I guess we always figured we would…” she glanced at Sarah. “That we might just disappear along with it.”

No one spoke for a long moment, until Jace said, “Makes sense, really. You’re from a future that no longer exists, so logic should follow that you would cease to exist once that future was corrected or destroyed.” But then he shook his head. “But if that were true, you shouldn’t have survived long enough to even come back, or linger as you did. If the Time Eater already reached this far back, you should have ceased to be as soon as it ate your time.”

Miki and Sarah glared at him, but he continued. “I’m not…I’m just saying. Whatever is at work here clearly doesn’t follow what we know about the rules of time travel. Or whatever.” Then he shrugged. “But you can stay here, you know. Your dad…he’s kind of our boss now. And we’ve all been in your shoes, sort of.”

“What he’s trying to say,” Miki cut in hastily. “Is that we’re all orphaned, so none of us have had a home, really. Granted it’s nothing as dramatic as your situation but…you are welcome with us.”

Suddenly, Anhura found herself holding back tears. “Thank you. Really.”

Sarah wanted to say something to her future-daughter, but felt an unease in herself, like a stomachache that pulsed throughout her entire being. It must have shown on her face, because Miki put a hand to her head and asked, “Do you need to lie down, Sarah?”

“Ah, no. I don’t think so, I just…something is wrong.”

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m not sure, but there’s something…coming…” she stood and moved to a south-facing window.

“Great,” Jace muttered. “Always something.”

But they ignored him and went with Sarah. From their vantage high in the Clock Tower, they could see nearly to the edge of Fun Land, the Uncharted Mountains to the south. At first everything seemed normal, but the longer they stared, they more that shadow on the mountains seemed unnatural.

“What…” Miki adjusted her glasses and squinted. “What is that?”

“A shadow?” Anhura offered.

“No, not a shadow. Darkness,” Sarah said gravely. “I know that kind of Darkness. That’s Zais, isn’t it?” But there wasn’t anyone there who could answer her. “That’s the kind of twisted, corrupting Darkness he uses. Something must be happening in Awesome Land.” But that wasn’t why she felt uneasy. The sense of foreboding she got around Zais was different. What she felt now was…

“I have to go.” And before anyone could protest, she was outside, across the distance, and standing just before the edge of the Darkness corruption.

“How did I…get here…?” She didn’t have that kind of power, not anymore. Unless. “No. It can’t be.” A hand went to her chest and felt for the scar, found it, and pressed against it. That was the source of the unease. It emanated from her chest, from the scar she had received upon purging the Void from herself over half a year ago. And it had been gone, she hadn’t been able to call upon the Void since then.

“But…” she looked behind her, at the impossible distance she had covered with no powers to speak of. “I must have…Voided the distance,” she worked out. “Voided the distance to simulate teleportation. But…” How could she have this power back? The ritual she had performed with the Artifacts of Wisdom would purge whatever she deemed an impurity from an area she defined. The impurity was the connection to the Null-Void, and the area had been her body, her being. And it had worked. She had been sick in bed for a week after, and from then on, the Null-Void no longer called to her.

Had the Time Eater somehow done this? No, it hadn’t eaten the past, only the future. But what if it had eaten the Oblivion Queen future? What if destroying that future had sent waves backwards in time, removing the reason for her to even want to get of the powers in the first place? “Then why do I still have the scar? Why do I still remember getting rid of it?” But as Jace had said, the Time Eater broke the rules, if there were any. Her future-daughter, who should have disappeared still remained. And, in the end, what was important was that she had her powers back.

The edge of Darkness crept closer, digging into the very earth and twisting it into a terrible carpet of madness and decay. Just as she had Voided the distance without understanding how, she knew what she had to do. She didn’t so much call on her power as let if run free. An invisible barrier spread out before her, an imperceptibly thin wall to separate Fun Land from the spread of Zais’ influence. And she watched as the Darkness crept towards the barrier…and vanished. All along the wall she had laid, the Darkness advanced, and then did not. A defined edge of Darkness marked the place where she had created a thin entry way into the Null-Void, where the Darkness, uncontrolled and unguided by any directive other than to consume, blindly tumbled into.

Such a power had been more taxing than she realized, and she stumbled backward…and into Mitzi and Jace’s arms.

“What…what just happened?” she head Jace ask.

“I think I saved us,” Sarah muttered before blacking out.

-

“DOGPILE ON THE BLACK GUY.” GOLDBEZ RELUCTANTLY TORE HIMSELF AWAY FROM THE BLOSSOMING FURTIVE LOVE AFFAIR BETWEEN HIM AND THE ARIADNE, BUT WITHOUT WHISPERING A FEW SWEET NOTHINGS INTO THE SHIP’S VENTILATION. HEARTBROKEN, BUT SPURRED BY, SOMETHING. IT CERTAINLY WASN’T A DESIRE TO DO GOOD OR ANYTHING. BUT HE SWAN-DOVE INTO THE BEST NIGHT OF ZAIS’ LIFE.

SPREAD-EAGLED AND READY FOR LOVIN’ GOLDBEZ GATHERED ENOUGH SOMETHING OR OTHER TO ACHIEVE RED-HOTNESS AS HE FELL FROM HOWEVER HIGH UP HE WAS.

“ALL THAT GLITTERS IS GOOOOLD,” HE SANG AS HE PLUMMETED TO THE GROUND, IMPACTING THE GENERAL AREA WHER ZAIS AWAITED, SENDING UP A HUGE DUST CLOUD IN THE SHAPE OF SMASH MOUTH, CIRCA 1999.

-

Clara Lux (and the others I guess) watched Goldbez do his thing without any consideration for the lasers that Gree was raining down upon them. “I…do not understand,” she managed to find words that still felt lacking in conveying exactly the sort of bewilderment she felt in that moment.

“You’ll get used to it,” Blanche offered gruffly. She indicated the Sea Slater, firing from INSIDE the Ariadne. “See? Weird, man.”

“I don’t think I shall ever become accustomed to that man,” General Clara replied flatly.

Blanche shrugged. “You say that now, but before you know it, you’ll be dragged across the country on a quest to murder and/or protect your ex-space-team leader from you and your now girlfriend, and then you’re in space fighting a sorta-sentient black hole supernova and suddenly he’s not the craziest thing you’ve seen today.”

Clara just fixed the other woman with the hardest stare, like a child desperately trying to understand the machinations of a dog chasing its own tail. Blanche, well, blanched when she realized what she had just said.

“Nevermind. Stay away from him. Stay away from all of these people. They’ll ruin you.” And then she jumped out of the spacecraft. Well, more like shadowstepped, but she was falling, so I said jumped. Sue me.

“What did I do?” Knox demanded, somewhat offended.

He didn’t receive an answer. Daar Lorra opened the hatch and braced herself against the frame while aiming her laser rifle. Of course, the Smash Mouth dust cloud that Goldbez had sent up prevented her from getting a clear read on anything down there, so she huffed and started firing wildly at the ground. “Don’t get shot!” she shouted at Blanche somewhere down there.

Samuel, however responded as if she had addressed him. “I don’t intend to.” In that short, but incredibly circuitous trip to Zais, Sam had somehow found the time to dye his hair again. This time it was a nice cerulean. “Didn’t like the green,” he said, noticing her bemused look. And then he, too, was falling. He would fare better than most, she figured. His whatever moon powers game him some kind of gravity thing or whatever. She didn’t listen very much when those nerds got into how their powers worked. Daar fired another volley and grinned at Clara.

“Who’s next, princess?”

Frowning, Clara shoved the other’s rifle aside and took her place in the door frame. “It’s General.” And then, she too was falling, although a little more gracefully. Faint wings of light could be seen as she disappeared into the dust cloud.

“Yes ma’am,” Daar Lorra muttered grumpily, and resumed firing downward.

Knox, who had evidently been trying to stop the general from sky-diving, as well, exclaimed, “Is jumping out of a moving spaceship REALLY the best idea right now?” He looked around at the Sea Slater, at Gree and Leske, and then at Daar Lorra, firing blindly.

“Is any idea really ‘good’ man?” Rick Thunder, who everyone forgot was in there, flicked his cigarette at Knox’s head and adjusted his collar.

“What?”

“What? Just gotta go with the flow, man. Unless that flow is a stupid one, in which case you make your own flow. Speaking of which, I gotta make my own flow right now.” He then got up and strode casually the ship’s stern, looking for the loo.

“The…wha…” The oddly loud sound of Rick Thunder urinating echoed through the ship, even over the sounds of battle. “Close the damn door!”

“Are we really getting into this?” Daar Lorra remarked.

“Nope. Knox moved back to where Gree helmed the ship. “But I’m just jumping out right at the moment.”

“Suit yourself.”

-

Cassandra was pacing the main hall of the Royal Palace when she saw it. She had begun to wonder about the assembled shadow-thralls outside the palace—why they weren’t advancing or retreating, why they just stood in a loose, shambling mass even though the Daybreak runes had since deactivated. She had been about to call Veritaz over when, suddenly the Darkness possessing the civilians seemed to…leave them. It poured out of their eyes, mouths, nose, and ears, a thick blackness that pooled into a great cloud overhead…and spirited away.

“Uh, Ollie?” She waved the Immortal of Light, who was in the process of putting in a pair of earbuds, over the window where she was. “That doesn’t look good.”

Ollie arrived in time to see the tail end of the cloud of Darkness. “The eff? It all just…?”

“Just seeped out and flew away.” Cassandra saw Veritaz and a few Thundercougerfalconbirds gather closer, and then stop. Giana had appeared beside her, looking out the same window.

“It should have been me,” the girl muttered, pounding a fist on the glass.

Cassandra found herself asking, “What?”

“I said, it should have been me!” She hit the glass hard enough to shatter it, letting the cool morning air rush in. “She thinks I can’t do anything useful. But she picks that fool over me? Why? We’re the same, aren’t we?” She seemed to be asking this of Cassandra, who had no answers. “I don’t need her permission,” Giana declared. “I only need to show how useful I can be.” And then she disappeared in a cloud of shadows.

“The eff?” Ollie asked again. “Man, I shouldn’t have taken this job. This ish is getting way to uncool.” She sighed longingly at her Omni vPod (Omnistar Corp. Veral Music Player of Doom) and stuffed it back into her pocket. “I need to have a talk with Knox about this.”

“No time for that,” Cassandra declared and strung an arrow of light on her bow. “We need to go after her now.”

“Whoa wait.” Ollie put her hands up and shook her head. “I know, I’m the first girl to be all kinds of ‘hey let’s punch that guy’ but…well damn, all this power is changing me and I don’t like it! But this is some Xavian stuff, you see? He was strong, like stupid strong. It’s taking a bunch of us to fight Zais. If Xavian was anywhere close to that strong, the two of us” she indicated Roewk “aren’t gonna be enough. Doesn’t matter how strong your boyfriend or that Leon guy are.”

“You don’t know Johnny very well, then, do you?” Cassandra turned back to the open window and, before letting the arrow go, found herself declaring, “Brilliant Heartseeker Arrow.” When the arrow loosed, Cassandra became a brilliant form of pure light…and then was pulled along behind the arrow, in the distance.

“Well. Shit.” She grinned at Roewk. “Ready for another roadtrip?”

-

The ice storm Johnny conjured should have torn Lolandas apart, but she reacted quickly enough. That cloud of Darkness from just a moment ago arrived in time to cloak her in Xavian’s embrace. “You can’t harm me, fools!” she shouted over the whirl of ice and shadow. “I bathe in the Darkness of Master Xavian! I will not be harmed by your petty tricks!”

“Tricks are they?” Johnny let the ice fall. “Then let me show a really good one!” He abandoned any other powers he was using at the time, temporarily stopped his connection to them, and focused all his attention on Darkness. “You’re going to love this one.” He reached out and pulled at the Darkness enveloping Lolandas. At first, nothing happening. Then it deformed, pulling outward. And then he was pulling the Darkness away from Lolandas.

“Anything you can do, I can do insanely better!” She held on to a good portion of it, but Johnny was taking more and more of it away from her. “I’m stronger than you, Lolandas! Admit it!” The Darkness began to swirl around him now.

“I never doubted it.” Then she let go of the cloud of Darkness, relinquishing it entirely to Johnny. “I never doubted it.”

But even for Johnny, controlling that much Darkness tainted by Xavian was too much. He felt the Darkness tear at him, try to seep into him beyond his control. “What…” Johnny wheezed. “This…” He dropped to his knees and put his arms out in warding, trying to keep the eroding Darkness at bay.

“What’s the matter?” Lolandas asked with a mocking grin. “I thought you were insanely stronger?” She walked towards him slowly, staff and sword in hand. “Darkness is one of your many talents, I thought.” She touched the whirlwind with her staff and flicked it, sending a curtain between them and Leon. “You should be. I trained you for this.” When Johnny made a confused noise, she chuckled. “I guess they never told you.”

But a trio of light arrow elicited a scratching roar from the Darkness, which scurried away like a frightened animal.

“Who dares?”

And there stood Cassandra, bow in hand, looking pretty regal, all things considered. “Step away from the stupidly-powered young man, thank you.”

-

Uggo recovered from the jet-book activation and let himself be led by Eva into the Awesome Land Technology Center. He hmphed upon crossing the threshold. “Looks futuristic enough on the outside, Alastor,” he observed. “But disappointingly this-century on the inside. It seems your people know even less of space travel than I had thought.” He sighed. “Well. Show me what you’ve got so far.”

[Sariel of Tevet]

“Famous aye? Sounds better than working at that pizza place. Well alright then! I’m on it. “

Heimrall ignored the “fasten your seatbelt” signs that were scattered about the bridge and walked around to find some ambient and faceless NPC type character. You know, someone in the background sitting at a computer that only people obsessed with 100% map completion and hoarding issues would ever speak to. She found her man sitting oddly close to the Sea Slater. In fact, the rudder of the ship was now being used as a foot rest by the soldier. He was seemingly busy at his computer, but alt + tabbed away from his web browser when he heard Heimrall’s footsteps approaching him. She wasn’t quite sure what it was he was looking at, but had managed to catch the words “Dynasty City’s The Fappening: Whooter’s Edition.” She tapped the mook on the shoulder and he spun around.

“Hey, excuse me but can I….ooh. Um…wait. Do you not have a face?”

He, in fact, did not have a face. What did you think I meant by “faceless NPC type character?” Come on. A small dialogue box popped up between them with the text:

“I do not have a face,
no! But it makes it
easier to face my fears
if I don’t have one! “

“Well…ok that isn’t relevant. I hate the shitty dialogue they always put into you people, especially when they put exclamation points after every sentence. I mean, are yall really excited about talking to strangers or are all adventurers just fucking deaf? And they can only ever fit like five words per line. Ugh. Anyway. So. Am I uh…interrupting something? Because I actually need to ask you something.”

She stopped to point at the man’s desktop background, which was of a Whooters calendar girl sprawled out erotically on a tree branch in the middle of the woods and regurgitating a field mouse into the mouth of another Whooters girl below her. Trust me, it was quite erotic. It has all the bonerfied elements of an erotic photo. Cleavage, implied nudity, bending, wood, half-digested rodents. I would say it was a regular smorgasbord of sexual satisfaction, but food puns are always in bad taste.

“No not at all!”

“Are you sure? You looked like you were watching some kind of Whooters video. In fact, I’m pretty sure you were."

“No! No of course
not stranger!”

“You were watching porn weren’t you?”

“Never! I was simply
watching a live
stream of a Whooters
restaurant! For tactical
reasons! We are on
a war ship you
know!
We need to keep
an eye on all things!
Oddly enough, the
building blew up
just a while ago! I
have no idea why!

Heimrall shuffled slightly and rubbed the back of her neck. Eww. Was…was I on his live stream? God I hope he doesn’t recognize me.

The ambient and faceless NPC character was staring at her intently, because yeah, he recognizes her. I don’t know how to tell that he is staring at her intently, but come on, you know he is.

“Tactical research…right. More like titty turbulence research…wait. You don’t have a face. How can you even…enjoy that?”

“I enjoy many things,
adventurer!”

“…I’ll bet you do. Look. Anyway. So uh, I’m trying to get famous so I can finally quit high school and become a model and get out of this pizza place I work for. I want to be the next Snicky or Milan Knolman. You know, getting paid to do nothing but still somehow an awesome idol for stupid kids. SO. What I need you to do is to take my phone and record my awesome fighting Immortal skills ok? And if this takes off after you upload it to the internet…the Immortals could have their own reality show! Imagine it. “

Heimrall raised her hand to her mouth and coughed to clear her throat and used her best movie voice.

“This is the true story…of 13 Immortals…picked to live in a house…work together and have their lives taped…to find out what happens…when people stop being polite…and start getting real. This Real World: The Immortals Special.”

“I will do
Whatever you ask!
Just please go away
!“

She made a typical teen sound of disgust and slammed the phone down into his open hand (a hand which she honestly had no idea where it had been. She had to remind herself to get some sanitizer later.) He leaned out the window and began to film the battlefield. Well…what he could see through the shadows that is.

While he wasn’t watching, Heimrall climbed to the top of the Ariadne. Hmmm. Now what to do…there isn’t much earth in the sky. She looked around and spied a mountain not too far from their current position. She stomped on the roof of the ship and hung over the edge. The ambient nameless NPC looked up at her probably and she cried out, “Hey! Watch this!”

She brought her hands together and concentrated, trying to feel the heartbeat of the earth through her. Heimrall raised her hands above her head and then brought them down so that her palms were facing the mountain’s peak. She began pulling, as if on an invisible rope, and called the sediment to travel over to the top of the Ariadne and swirl around her.

“Man I sure hope this isn’t one of those mountains that are covered in shit. “

After obtaining a copious amount of rock, she placed her index finger upwards in front of her face, and began to slap the air around it in a half circular motion. The rocks began to flow into a large spiral that grew higher and higher as the rest of the soil followed suit. A large drill made from solid rock was formed and Heimrall motioned towards the edge of the ship to move it overboard and hover right above the camera frame.

She walked out over to the edge and leaned down for the camera. “Alright listen up Dynasty City! Looks like we are off to a rocky start here, but I’ll show this Zaid guy I have the stones to fight him! Aaaaalley oop!”

She did a backflip and pressed her fists straight into the drill, propelling it, as well as herself, straight towards the ground where Zaid was. As she fell, Heimrall began to turn and the drill picked up speed as she spiraled her way to the battlefield.

“Mark my words, naked guy. This drill will open a hole in the awesomeverse. And that hole will be a path for those behind us! The dreams of those who have fallen, the hopes of those who will follow! Those two sets of dreams weave together into a double helix, drilling a path towards my fame!”

[Monika]

At last, Artemis opened her eyes and, to her (almost) surprise, she was still floating in the luxurious bathtub of the Super Land Royal Library. "That was an interesting dream," she said, frowning. "But I can't believe I fell asleep. No more dilly-dallying, Artemis. There is work to be done." And so she proceeded with the rest of the bathing process - the scrubbing of the skin, the rinsing, the shampooing, etc. - until finally she emerged from the tub, noting that her skin hadn't become wrinkly at all. She pulled up the stopper and let the water drain before approaching the sink and wrapping herself in one of the towels there.

She looked to the floor and saw her old clothes were still lying in an untidy pile, just as she had left them. "I suppose it would be too much to expect that a library would have a washing machine." She shot a quick glance to the opal chandelier above her and the black diamond mirror to her side. "Or maybe it wouldn't," she said. "In any case, I will have you cleaned after my mission." Summoning a portal in front of her, Artemis casually tossed the clothes into it and prepared to retrieve a fresh set when she saw it. Inside her extradimensional closet (because any self-respecting Immortal of Space would have one), there was a long row of black hangers, each one vacant except for an attached sticky note which read:

Outfit at C.O.M.A.S. warehouse.
To be washed and returned here upon completion of current assignment.
-Artemis

With a heavy sigh, she sealed the portal. "Has it really been that long since I've even had the time to do laundry? Is it too much to ask for a world in which problems stay solved for a reasonable length of time?" She shook her head and grabbed the Mathamune, glaring at the blood-caked blade. "Of course it is. There is no sense in wishing for it. If I truly desire such a world, I will have to bring it about myself." With that, she exited through the bathroom doors and descended the spiral staircase.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

When she arrived in the main floor of the library, she was unsurprised to see Clyde still sitting at the table. The scene was almost exactly as she had left it - the only difference being the porcelain cups that now sat in front of the demon king.

"Welcome back," he greeted her, taking a sip from one of the cups. "I was starting to wonder if you were ever gonna return."

"How long was I in there?" Artemis asked.

Clyde shrugged. "I dunno. Hour and a half? Maybe two. Who really has a decent grasp of time nowadays? You think if I asked him, Knox would start up a free clock initiative? Give everyone a way to properly measure the passage of time." He chuckled and looked up at the Immortal of Space, who didn't seem to find his comment particularly amusing. Not that he expected her to. Clearing his throat, he said, "In any case, you were up there for a long time. Have a little trouble?"

"Women have more to wash than men," she replied flatly.

"Uh-huh." Clyde motioned to the chair across from him. "Why don't you have a seat, Artemis? I took the liberty of brewing some tea, since the library is always cold. I honestly don't know how Raphael managed to stay here nearly 24/7."

Artemis looked at Clyde for a moment. On one hand, if she had been upstairs for as long as Clyde had said, she couldn't afford to waste much more time. On the other, he was right. The main floor of the library was cold; compared to the warmth of the tub and the bathroom she had just left, it was positively frigid. She eventually accepted the offer and took her seat opposite the demon, catching the tea as he slid it across to her.

"So," Artemis said, taking a sip from the cup. "Did anything interesting happen while I was bathing?"

Clyde considered her words for a moment before taking a large swig from his own cup. "Would you believe that Seraphina's son stopped by and threatened to kill you?"

Artemis frowned. "Is that supposed to be a joke?"

He gave a grim laugh. "Not a very funny one, I know."

Taking another sip, Artemis said, "Does she even exist?"

"Hmm? What do you mean?"

"Seraphina," she explained. "I shudder to think that there would exist a being of such unrivaled power who shows such apathy toward the state of the universe. Here I am, doing my best to clean up her messes, while she looks on at the world in disinterest." She shook her head emphatically. "For me, such a concept is difficult to reconcile."

"I see." Clyde nodded, finishing off the last of his tea. "Why don't you ask Knox to take you back to the beginning of time? I'm sure you'd see her there. Then you could verify for yourself whether or not she exists."

"I hope that Knox would avoid misusing his abilities for such a selfish request. Recklessly wasting such considerable power on trivial matters. Using it to bring harm to others. Neglecting to stop those who would do the same. It is exactly that kind of power abuse - which is all too commonplace in this world - that I aim to put an end to." She took another sip and gave a cold, short laugh. "And just like that, such a thought is no longer inconceivable."

"Oh?" The demon smiled. "You're a believer already? Why the sudden change of heart?"

"I have not lived very long, but in my short time in this world I have come to realize that with great power comes even greater irresponsibility. A being will almost always bring a level of catastrophe to the world - through action or apathy - proportional to his or her level of power. It is true of Zais. It is true of Leon. It is true of Sark." She took the last sip of her tea and delicately set the cup to the side. "Why shouldn't the same be true of the goddess?"

"So she should be the most irresponsible of them all, then?" Clyde chuckled and folded his hands in front of him. "An interesting theory from an interesting woman," he said. "Maybe I picked the wrong side..."

The conversation ended there, replaced by one of their trademark semi-awkward (to Clyde, at least) silences. After a while, Artemis broke the silence and asked, "Do you happen to know where I can acquire a set of clothing?"

"I'm glad you said something." He sighed in relief. "I wasn't going to bring it up, but I had hoped that you weren't planning to go fight Leon and Zais wearing nothing but a towel. I'd lend you my shirt, but-" he gestured to his impressive DEMON PECS and DEMON ABS. "-I'm not wearing one. That said, you and I are the only living beings on this island. Knox's time magic - thank the goddess - didn't resurrect any of the old citizens. You could probably walk outside, find a corpse, and take its clothes without too much trouble."

Artemis shot him an icy stare.

"It's not graverobbing if they haven't been buried, right? But if that's not your style, there's a veteran's hospital a few blocks west of here. It's a pretty large building, since almost everyone here served in the military at one point. Impossible to miss. You can probably pick up a free hospital gown there. They're pretty high-quality, too. As a former general and only remaining member of the army, I give you my full permission."

Artemis nodded and excused herself from the table. "Thank you, Clyde," she said. "For both the tea and the conversation."

"You're quite welcome." He nodded back. "Take care of yourself, Artemis." And as the Immortal of Space left through the large library doors, Clyde sighed and muttered under his breath, "When next we meet, you'll probably be my enemy..."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

It wasn't long at all before Artemis found herself in front of a massive concrete building with a huge sign that read, 'Super Land Veteran's Hospital' in blocky red letters. As Clyde had told her, the place was definitely impossible to miss. Once she walked through the facility's automatic doors (slightly amused that Knox's time repairs had gone as far as fixing the wiring), she was assaulted by the pungent odor of disinfectant.

"Everyone in this building should be dead," she said, "but it still manages to smell like a hospital. Is this also Knox's doing?" As she continued to mull over the mysteries of Super Land's restoration, she eventually came across an empty patient's room, inside which was a large box labeled, 'Hospital Gowns', with four stars above the text. Opening the box, she frowned as she removed one of the garments and held it out in front of her. "He said they were high-quality, but this is absurd," she muttered. In her hands was an elegant blue gown made entirely of silk - an article of clothing more suited to a ballroom dancer than someone on their death bed. "How much taxpayer money went to senseless extravagance?" She sighed, exasperated. "As long as it wasn't just the old High Seraph who profited from it. Good to know he shared the benefits with his high-ranking soldiers."

Hurriedly, she dragged the gown into a nearby bathroom and got changed, checking her appearance in the mirror. "I'm not wearing this any longer than I have to," she spoke to her reflection. "I'll check the C.O.M.A.S. warehouse to see if I have any clean clothes left..."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

In an instant, Artemis was back on Awesome Land soil. She stood on the outskirts of Retro City, right outside the doors leading to the C.O.M.A.S headquarters. She was just about to step inside when a man came bursting out, carrying a large cardboard box.

"A-Artemis!" the man cried. "You've come back to us! I knew you wouldn't leave us high and dry for long! Thank you thank you thank you!" He carelessly tossed the box to the side and almost flung himself at Artemis, only to stop himself once he realized what he was doing. Gotta play it cool, he thought. "Ahem. Artemis. So good to see you again."

"Asher, what are you doing here?" Artemis asked, raising an eyebrow. "As you are aware, I disbanded the committee. You have no more business at the facility."

"Hmph." Asher scoffed and crossed his arms. "I was just getting the rest of my old junk out of the building. Since I don't have a job anymore, I'm moving all of my stuff to my parents' place." Not that you care, he mused.

"I see." Her eyes narrowed as she continued; she sensed the slightest hint of venom in Asher's voice, but opted not to acknowledge it. "While you were in there, did you notice if I had any clean clothes?"

"Your clean clothes?" Asher thought for a moment before muttering, "If I did, I probably would have taken them to complete the Artemis shrine in my parents' attic."

"What?"

"Actually, I probably would have taken the dirty ones. They still smell like you, so it would have made it more authentic."

"What?"

Asher cleared his throat again. "Ah, never mind. Ignore that. So, I take it that you aren't here to reestablish our group?"

With a sigh, Artemis answered, "As I said before, Asher, I disbanded the committee for the good of its members. You saw what Zais, Sarah, and the rest of their group did. It was slaughter. Keeping you all around in a borderline paramilitary organization would have led to more unnecessary deaths. Do not bring the issue up again."

"Pfft. For the good of its members? For the good of its members?" He laughed dryly. "You have no idea what you're talking about, Artemis. I was just rejected from a job stirring coffee for goodness' sake!" he spat. "You wanna know who's doing the best out of all the members you abandoned? Janine. And she's got a dead end job as a teller with the First National Bank of Awesome! Your decision may have been for the good of your conscience, maybe, but it damn sure didn't help any of us out!"

Artemis scowled but said nothing, unable to find a strong enough argument against Asher's words.

The young magician took a deep breath to calm himself and placed a hand on the Immortal's shoulder. "And I'll level with you, Artemis. Contrary to what we've been taught to say, the 'C' stands for 'cult'. We're a cult. We're cultists. We have a cultist mentality. We need someone to worship. William and his old man were alright, but you!" He indicated Artemis' body with his arms. "You're perfect! Wearing that amazing gown...You're beautiful and intelligent and powerful and-" he pressed his nose up to her hair "-you smell like lavender! We couldn't ask for a better woman to keep us together! To pledge our undying loyalty to!"

Artemis backed away from the man and turned around. "I have no interest in being worshiped, Asher. If you have nothing more to say, then I am leaving. I have work to do."

"Of course you do," he scoffed again. "Putting your own interests before ours once again. All we C.O.M.A.S. members ever had was our magic powers and our tight-knit family, and you've taken the latter from us. Who knows how much longer we'll last..." With a sigh, he shoved his hand into his suit pocket and produced a business card. Tossing it to Artemis, he said, "I doubt you'll change your mind. Your strong will is something I love the most. But if you find out about any job openings suited to a 24-year old wizard, give me a call. It's the least you can do. Now, if you'll excuse me..." He hefted up his box of possessions "...I've got to go beg my parents for my old room." And he walked off into the distance toward his old house.

Artemis caught the business card and looked over it for a few moments before slipping it into her extradimensional closet, more than a little annoyed that her 'hospital gown' didn't have pockets. Hoping that there would be no unwelcome interference with her job, she teleported to Dynasty City...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

...to find a crater 30 verals in radius right outside the Second Imperial Tower.

"Sark," she said at once. It was a simple matter of deduction; the type of damage wasn't consistent with any of Zais' attacks. The corpses of citizens, guards, and even Shadow Soldiers littered the area, and the vampire was the only who had both the resources and the wherewithal to kill all three groups in such a fashion.

As she walked around to take a quick survey of the damage, she almost walked into the Immortals of Water and Metal, both of whom were sitting in chairs made of their respective elements, unfazed by the wreckage.

"Oh, hey Artemis!" Scern shouted, waving at her. "Welcome back! Thought you were gone forever!"

"What are you two doing here?" she demanded, dismissing the pleasantry. "Do you not see the massive crater around you? Aren't you concerned by whatever caused it?"

Scern shrugged. "We're just chilling. We've sorta gathered that this kind of thing happens all the time around here, so we didn't find the explosion all that worrisome."

"You've got some nerve asking us what we're doing, Artemis," Galro laughed, his eyes still glued to Ice Techniques Monthly. "You've been out doing who knows what while we were here doing exactly as we were instructed, taking out parts of Zais' army." He peered up from his magazine for just a moment and added, "And don't tell me you were out on national security business. You're wearing a new gown. Quite a lovely one. And took quite a long bath, too."

Scern gave Galro a confused look.

"Honestly, Scern. I would be a terrible Immortal if I couldn't tell when someone had been immersed in my element for..." He narrowed his eyes in thought. "...two hours or so. She was out getting all dolled up while we were doing her dirty work." He shook his head in feigned disappointment.

Artemis took a deep breath and clenched her fists. The day had been getting progressively worse, and it took the greater part of her strength to stay calm. "And that gives you a license to take a break?"

Scern sank into the ground; he knew where the conversation was going next, and he wanted no part of it.

"Oh, no. What gives us-"

"Don't bring me into this, Galro."

"What gives me the license to take a break is the fact that Zais' attacks have pretty much died out. No doubt due to the miniature war that's being waged against him right now."

"What are you talking about?" Artemis demanded.

"While you were getting nice and pretty for a couple hours, the rest of the crew left without you." He waved his hand dismissively in the general direction the Ariadne had been in before. "From the level of plot being advanced, I can tell it was quite a large invasion force, too. They're all at Zais' fortress right now, probably shooting him with cannons or something equally stupid."

Artemis' fists were clenched so tightly that her palms started bleeding. "They left...without me."

"They sure did," Galro replied absently, turning the page in his magazine. "Are you mad?"

"Furious."

[Monika]

"Really, Johnny? Really?" Leon slapped his palm against his face and let out an exasperated sigh, jumping down from one of the slides. "For this entire battle and the last half of your parents' dinner party, Lolandas has been trying to turn you into a god of darkness or something. Knowing that, you willfully chose to use all your dark powers to try to control her Darkness. The tainted Darkness of this Xavian guy she keeps ranting about. The same Darkness that's got half the citizens at your castle and all the ones I borrowed poisoned." He shot Cassandra a 'you've got your work cut out for you with that one' look and glanced at the walls (or what was left of them) that had been torn by the black ice.

"And speaking of the customers I borrowed from the castle, show some consideration!" He gave a stern, disapproving parent-like stare to Lolandas. "Here they are, trying to enjoy a nice meal as my personal guests, and you're tearing the place apart! Do you have any idea how much money I spent on this place?" Leon lifted the Masamune high into the air and the blade began to glow with two or three times its usual holy light. "Do you know how difficult it is for Leon Veralice to get property insurance? And how much this is going to cost to fix without it?" The remnants of the Omnistar restaurant trembled violently, and the parts of the building that were still intact crashed to the ground as Leon released a fraction of his sword's power.

"I've been wielding dark magic for the better part of my life now, and I've learned a thing or two about responsible usage of darkness," he said, aiming the tip of his blade at the woman's chest. "And you, Lolandas, have broken just about every rule. I don't think you deserve your powers anymore." There was a crack of thunder and a bright flash as a torrent of light burst forth from the Masamune, right into the Bride of Xavian's heart.

---

"Evangeline, please escort-"

"Already on it! Right this way!" Eva snatched Uggo's hand and dragged him past a series of computers, monitors, and labcoat-clad scientists furiously typing away at keyboards. "You're going to love what we've got so far!" With Alastor a safe distance behind her, she eventually stumbled through the laboratory and came across a sealed iron door with a plaque that read, "Experimental Spacecraft Development". "Guys! Guuuuys! Let me in! I know you're in there, Xander! Open up!" She beat on the door a few times and, after a few groans were heard from behind it, the door swung open, revealing...

"The greatest spaceship ever!" Eva triumphantly marched into the room, still holding Uggo's hand, as she proudly pointed toward the far wall. A dozen scientists scribbling away at clipboards were circled around a small pedestal, upon which stood a single, rainbow colored bottle rocket. "This is what we have so far! Amazing, right, right?! Come get a closer look!" she shouted as she pushed one scientist out of the way, letting Uggo take his spot in the circle.

"As I mentioned before," Alastor sighed, "I specialize in robots. Not spacecrafts. This is the best we have been able to come up with thus far."

[Razgat]

"Safety's for pussies." Cybele dove fists first, middle fingers up, aiming straight for Zais. "GET REKT!"

The dust cloud parted as her fists shredded through it, creating a clear path.

[Sariel of Tevet]

The not so gentle hum of power tools and machinery could be heard from a mile around. The former Discotech Fortress was now under the full swing of renovations after the NAACP had taken over some time ago. A large bus was parked at the base of the fortress, along with numerous vans to carry the filming and reno equipment. Camera crew from “The Not Learning Channel” was wandering around taking video of the volunteer crew helping with the military effort. They came from all over the awesomeverse. Everyone from “Habitat for Non Atonals,” hipsters, flipsters, gangsters, gangstas, weeaboos, Scrappy Doo’s, ancient Mews, and rockin’ Jews had assembled for the cause. Though many of them differed in the real world, they all agreed on one thing. Disco sucked.

Multi light disco floors had now been replaced with state of the art acoustic flooring, which oddly enough were created by the scraps of the disco bots. Unfortunately, due to the size of their automobile and speaker army, nearly 90% of the fortress had to be remodeled into various parking garages to accommodate each active platoon. This meant that the remaining 10% of the fortress was divvied up between restrooms (With hydraulic toilets of course. Wiping will soon be a thing of the past), dining halls, instrument practice rooms, the occasional brothel, and a music video studio.

The barracks were all placed outside my troops mashing personal tents together and making do with what they could for now. Though in all fairness, it did not seem to matter much. The battle had most likely only ended hours ago and the troops were still in their after victory party phase. Many were barbequing, some passed out already from possible whole minutes of after battle partying (seriously, how long has it been since the battle ended), and others were simply calling back home to brag about how they were going to raise up their community before completely ignoring the commitment in the long run. A select few, however, were assembled at the largest tent, located towards the back of the ocean of fatigue colored barracks.

Twelve men, including Sergeant Didgeridoo, R&B, Brigadier Blues, and Warrant Officer Doo-Wop. Next to him were a reserved space and then a large digital quality painting of The Professor with “In Memoriam” sprawled across the bottom. General Jazz was in front of them with a nameless mook struggling to hold a large box. The General, with less patience than usual (especially at the sight of the struggling mook, who probably should have just put the box down by now, but he is new, we forgive him), walked over to address ¾ of the not A-Team parody.

“Where the hell is that Captain of yours?”

R&B way too stereotypically sucked his teeth and shook his head at the General, “Man I don’t know. You know how Calypso is. That man is always planning something. He will be here when he thinks he is supposed to. Something something Non Atonal Colored People time.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“And Ayeeee Aaaaaye Aaaaaye…I’m hooked on a feeling.” Captain Calypso put his hands up in front of his mouth to mimic a trumpet and made the “doo doodoo doooo” sound. “I’m high on believing. “

Captain Calypso was jamming the fuck out in the back of a chauffeured car without a care in the world. The SUV was barreling down the dirt road towards the new NAACP base, and Calypso couldn’t give two shits about being late for the ceremony. He leaned up in his seat and placed his arms over the partition and relaxed.

“You know what, son? I’ve been in more battles than I can count. Been on tv. Bled, died, made shitty sequels about my nephew that people thought was still me. I’ve done everything for this country and then some. Now all of a sudden they want me at some ceremony to get some jive ass medal? Where the fuck was they at with a medal when I was fighting all these years with no thanks? “

He sat back in his seat hard enough to slosh some of the Brandy all over the backseat of the car, but didn’t seem to care or notice.

“Ah well. I guess I should take this more seriously huh? Better be grateful while they are trying to thank me.”

The SUV finally pulled up to the front gate of the camp. A soldier standing next to the toll booth style house walked around the vehicle to give it a once over and then circled back around to the driver side window. The driver explained the situation, shared his credentials, and then the passenger window began to roll down. Before the soldier could take a few steps back to address Captain Calypso, he was already hanging out the window while what was left of his brandy spilled over the edge of the glass.

“Man, the fuck you up there doin holding this car up? Can’t you tell Captain Calypso and his Drivin Miss Daisy ass patsy when you see em? Let us through the god damn gate before I whoop your ass and get a medal for that too. Matter a fact I bet your mama sends me a medal for it to. “

Calypso collapsed back inside the SUV and laid down in the bench seat. The soldier shook his head, pulled out a flute, and began to lay down a dope ass beat boxin’ flute solo that signaled the booth operator to let them in. The gate could be heard slowly making its way open and he felt the car push into gear. It rolled slowly forward and when the attending soldier was in view through his window, Calypso threw the small glass out of the window and it smashed into the toll booth behind the man. He fell out of the back row of the car in laughter and remained in the floor until reaching the medal ceremony. In fact, the driver actually just parked right between Doo-Wop and the picture of The Professor.

He stumbled out of the car and took his place next to his men, barely able to hold himself at attention. Everyone gave him a look of disgust, most notably the driver who had to drive him there. Now that everyone had arrived General Jazz began to take his place at the front of the line, where the relieved mook followed him with quick steps. Jazz opened the large box, which contained war medals. Well, mostly there were war medallions fashioned from the disco balls of the fallen discobots that were placed on thick chains. He began to place them around each man’s neck as he followed down the line.

“Men, you are being honored today for exceptional bravery in our battle to claim this fortress. As you know, this collective of Non Atonal Colored Persons comes from humble beginnings. We were born through me and a few other local activists. We couldn’t stand the way the world treated musicians at the time. Our classes lacked funding at school. We were forced to spend time measuring equations rather than notes. Eventually, entire music and art based schools were created just to get rid of us. As our battles grew, so did our cause. More and more men and women, just like yourselves, signed up to fight, to make a world safe for musicians and their families. It is a world that I am thankful to live in today, but the struggle isn’t over. You soldiers, are here to receive commendations for your exemplary actions in the face of this struggle, and allowed us to win the day.”

He had finally reached the stumbling Captain Calypso and, somewhat reluctantly, placed a medallion around his neck, but stopped in front of the picture of The Professor with the final medallion.

“Let us not, however, forget the men who did not make it through the struggle. Without The Professor, none of us would be here to receive this honor. It is my great pleasure, as general of the NAACP, to bestow this medallion and posthumously award The Professor the title of Honorary Non Atonal Colored Person. He has shown us all, that deep down in our bones, we are all musically inclined colored people. “

He walked back into place at the front of the line of men, stamped his feet together and raised a hand in salute. Everyone in line (even the struggling Captain Calypso), followed suit and raised their hands.

“Dismissed, men.”

The line began to slowly break up, and Captain Calypso’s men simply shook their heads at their commanding officer and began to walk away. He attempted to follow, but General Jazz placed a hand on his shoulder to stop him.

“Not you, you are coming with me. “

Cries of “ooooooo he gonna get in troooooooubleeeeeeeeeeee” went around the camp and a few snickers here and there could be heard. The General led Calypso back to where his temporary office was located and pushed him through the tent flaps. There was a small entry way with a desk that the mook from earlier was situated. He looked exhausted from holding the giant box of medallions, but stood at attention when the General walked in.

“Suh! Uh, I wuzzn’t uhh, expectin’ ya back so soon. I was jus’ on down here makin up a report of the on the new base, suh. Ya also gots a cupple ‘pointments that I already put into ya schedule, and I gives ya a copy in ya office. Anythin’ else ya need, suh?”

The General just laughed and walked up to the young man, who was obviously new to the army.

“You are too uptight son, we just won a battle! Loosen up like the rest of us.” He turned around and pointed towards Captain Calypso, “Just don’t loosen up as much as him and you will be alright. Captain! This here is my new assistant. My last one died on the battlefield somehow, he was actually the only casualty. Imagine that? Anyway I gave this kid here a field promotion on the spot because he is the one who found Hip Hop. Like I always say, don’t shoot the messenger, promote his ass instead.”

Calypso doubled over with laughter and stumbled over to the newest member of the military, and slapped a hand on his shoulder. Well, he tried too, but mostly just slapped the kid in the face.

“Hahaha. You said ass. Pfff. So what’s your name kiddo? Got a name right?” He squinted his eyes real tight and pushed his face right against the new assistant. “We all got names you know, so the man knows how to identify us for his own selfish needs. So tell me, what’s yours?”

The boy trembled a bit, not quite sure how to respond, and General Jazz just placed his finger tips on his temples and gave them a rub.

“Calypso, stop scarin’ the damn kid and sober up. His name is Private First Class Ragtime.”

“Pfff. Ragtime, ha!” Calypso began to pantomime playing a keyboard with the desk next to him and sat down in the chair to pretend to push all the foot pedals. “You mean you carry around a giant ass piano with you everywhere kid?”

Ragtime looked down and held up his piano key tie for the Captain to see. “No suh, I gots this here playin’ tie. It light and I cans take it where evah I go. Keeps me right safe yes it does. “

General Jazz groaned at Captain Calypso and pulled him up out of the seat by his collar.

“Course it does kid. Now, Captain. I believe we need to discuss your…behavior. “

He pulled into Calypso into the back of the tent where his office was and Ragtime zipped up the flaps behind him. The Captain cleared his throat, straightened up his clothes, and pull his signature cigar from his afro and lit it up. Biting down on it, he directed a small smirk at the General and sat down in front of the desk. General Jazz just laughed at him and took his place in his own chair. “You know, you could have just come to me after the ceremony. No one would have ever questioned you coming up here. You didn’t have to do this whole fake drunk thing.”

Calypso got a bit more comfortable and leaned his seat back a little, just enough to properly prop his feet up on the General’s desk.

“Now now, General. You know how I love my plans. They all have their reasons. Besides, gotta have a little fun from time to time right? Gotta keep my boys on their toes or they will never learn. Now, what is this secret mission you have for us?”

General Jazz took out a key and opened his desk drawer. He placed a map down in front of himself that had been scribbled over almost incomprehensively.

“Tonight, Captain, you and your men will be following this route. At the end of it, you will find a container. I cannot tell you what is inside of it, but we have intel that it is of the utmost importance. Guns, money, human trade, we have no idea. All we know is that it is connected to the remains of the disco franchise. Maybe it will be enough to stop disco in its tracks once and for all. Our sources tell us that, apparently, this crate is meant to be delivered to a higher up, possibly the second in command behind Discotech or even some new group of radicals trying to boogie their way back into the limelight. Go to that shipping yard, get that container, and bring it back here tonight before it leaves. Dismissed. “

Captain Calypso gave a half salute and made his way out of the tent. He stopped, however, next to a filing cabinet at the edge of the office that had a framed picture of five unknown individuals. He picked it up, examined it, and placed it back on the filing cabinet.

“You never told me you had family, General.”

“That’s because I don’t, Captain. Not technically anyway. Tell you what, you bring that crate back for me, and I promise you will find out everything you want to know about the people in that photograph. Deal?”

“Deal.”

Calypso walked out of the office and made his way to the edge of base camp. His men’s van where they were already assembled and waiting for him. RB started up the engines and Calypso climbed into the passenger seat.

“You know boss, you didn’t have to do the whole fake drunk thing.”

Calypso lit up another cigar, “You know people keep telling me that today. Alright listen up men. I have a set of coordinates. This will be a…simple…snatch and grab. We are to go to this shipping yard location that I am entering into the computer now and bring it back here. Intel has no idea what is inside, and none of my personal contacts do either. I decided to check on my walk over here.”

RB put the car into gear and the group began to make their way out of the compound. Brigadier Blues placed his hand on his guitar, strummed a couple of strings while in thought, and addressed the Captain. “So you mean to tell us that, we don’t know what we are going after, that we just have to pick it up and bring it back here? You know that’s some bullshit right? “

“Oh quiet down Blues, you know we have taken on missions with less intel than that. We will be fine.”

Doo-Wop began to swing his microphone around in small circles from its chord and nudged Brigadier Blues on the shoulder. “Come on man, you know the Captain has a plan. He always has a plan. You uh…you do have a plan…right Captain?”

“Course I have a plan. I just haven’t thought of it yet. I’ll have something before we get there. Oh, and speaking of having something. Doo-Wop, I will need you to get us some wings. Helicopter should be good enough. “

“Where the hell am I supposed to get a helicopter, Captain?”

“Oh I don’t know. It is a big facility. I’m sure there will be one somewhere.”

Just then, they pulled up at the shipping yard. There were minimal guards, but rows upon rows of shipping containers. The GPS in the van was showing that they were close. Calypso got out of the van and shut the door. Blues and Doo-Wop did the same. Calypso put out his cigar on the concrete and placed it back into his afro. “Shit. I wish I had asked what the container looked like. RB, how accurate is that GSP?”

“Should stop us while we are right next to the container, boss. Not too much of a problem. Just gotta find a way for us to get around here without being spotted. “

The Captain looked around and saw a small office with lockers next to the gate of the shipping facility. He nodded his head towards it and Doo-Wop and Blues ran over to the door. Blues used the loose strings from the head of his guitar to pick the lock and gain entry. Once inside, Doo-Wop lassoed the neck of the security guard that was on duty while Blues picked the lockers and got them all suits.

They regrouped and changed and the plan was set. Calypso and RB would pose as workers placing a last minute piece of cargo into a container, but were looking for an empty one if anyone asked. Meanwhile, Doo-Wop and Blues would be off searching for a helicopter of sorts. A catalogue in the computer of the office said that all “craft” would be situated on the opposite side of the facility so that they could be more easily flown onto the ship once all the containers are placed. They split up and Calypso and RB began to drive around. They seemed to get around with little resistance, and little effort in general. The lanes were wide open and it seemed to be an almost straight shot to the container.

“Well, we here boss. Now what?”

Calypso got out of the car and placed his boot on the trailer hitch attached to the bumper.

“Now we hope the other two get here with a helicopter, and that this plan can go off without a hitch.”

They began to tie up the crate and attach it to the back of the van when they heard the faint whirling of a chopper in the distance. It approached with Doo-Wop at the controls and Blues hanging out of the side attempting to aim the magnetic wench over to the van. Calypso and RB got inside the van and the helicopter hoisted them, along with the crate, up into the sky. On the way back, RB began to get a bit restless.

“Boss, let me ask you something. “

“Go right ahead.” Calypso began to light his cigar back up again. “What’s on your mind?”

“Does it bother you how easy that was? At all?”

“Not really, kid. When you’ve been at it as long as I have, you learn that some organizations are smarter than others. This new start up group or whoever this is must not have been in the game too long. The simple answer is, you take what you can get at this point in your career. Just sit back and enjoy the ride.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After a while they landed back at base and began to unhook everything. The Captain climbed out of the van, stretched, and decided to go get the General while everyone else waited for their return. Calypso began to whistle as he walked back over the General’s tent and mimicked the tune of “Hooked on a Feelin.’” I wonder who those people are in that picture, guess I will finally find out soon. Funny, all these decades I have known the General and he never once mentioned any family.

His thoughts quickly vanished as he was within sight of the tent, and it exploded.

“GENERAL!!”

Captain Calypso ran as fast as he could towards the engulfed barrack and the alarms began to sound all over the camp. The tent was already burned to the ground when he arrived and there were no signs of the General. Soldiers arrived and saw the Captain standing there next to the wreckage. They raised their instruments at him. “Hands up, Captain! You are gonna have some questions to answer!”

He placed his hands up in the air and complied, but from behind the flames, a figure ran by and attempted to escape towards the back of the camp. Calypso spotted him and began to run. “Hey! You! Get back here!”

As he took off, various instruments started to go off and shots careened around the head of the Captain. Whoever he was chasing had gained considerable ground already.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What do you mean you have a delivery for the General? General Jazz didn’t notify us of any incoming aircraft, and he sure as shit didn’t give us a delivery invoice. Now I will ask again.” A soldier knocked his trumpet against the side of the container. “What is in this crate?”

Two soldiers raised their trumpets up at RB, Blues, and Doo-Wop, and they all lifted their hands into the air. RB spoke up, “Look. We don’t know much more than you do ok. Open if, we don’t give a shit. But the General is gonna have your upitty ass doing kitchen duty for the next year if you do, I can promise you that.”

The soldiers all looked at each other, and gave a silent nod. “I guess we will just have to risk that then, won’t we?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Captain finally tracked down the man who had taken off and corned him between the barracks and the fortress at the fence line. He was at the end of an alley and covered in darkness. Calypso approached slowly, and addressed the figure.

“Look, don’t do anything stupid now, alright? Did you have something to do with that explosion? Tell me what happened to General Jazz. I know you saw something. “

The figure tugged at his tie, and began to press keys. Ragtime music filled the alley, and Calypso fell to his knees. “No, no it can’t be you. What reason would you have to kill the General!”

The music began to play louder and louder. Calypso covered his ears and closed his eyes to block out the pain. Ragtime climbed over the fence and took off behind the fortress. Calypso was picking himself up off the ground when a group of soldiers ran around the corner and into the alley.

“Hands up, Captain. We won’t ask twice.” Calypso complied and they took him into custody. “I have a feeling your boys are in on this too. You are going to take us to them, now.” The soldier thrust his trumpet into the back of the Captain and he began to head back to where the rest of his men were.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A soldier brought his trumpet down on the lock of the crate and shattered it. He opened the doors, and immediately began to yell for a medic.

“Guys! Guys! It’s Hip Hop! Detain those men and grab a medic!”

Doo-Wop began to back up and pull out his microphone. He swirled it around by its cord. “Look now, we don’t know nothing about Hip Hop. We haven’t seen him in years. “A group of medics arrived and went inside the crate, but walked out moments later. They saluted one of the soldiers containing the team, “Sir, Hip Hop is dead. I don’t know what these three are up to, but they have one of our own bound up with a discoball in the back of his skull, and a cigar burn in his neck.”

At this time, Captain Calypso and a group of soldiers had arrived and he was placed in line with his men. The soldier speaking with the medic walked over to the Captain, and pulled a cigar from his afro. He walked back over to the medic and held it up for him.

“A cigar, just like this one?”

“Yes, sir, exactly like that one. Aint no cigar I ever seen before. “

“That’s because they are from a personal stash, isn’t that right, Captain?”

Calypso looked over to his men and RB spoke up. “Boss, they think we killed Hip Hop. They think we are traitors.”

A soldier that captured Calypso stepped forward and addressed the rest of the group. “They did more than kill Hip Hop. The General is dead, and we found the Captain at the scene. “

Doo-Wop lunged forward, but was pushed back by trumpets being held in his face. “What do you mean the General is dead? Jazz is dead? Captain what are they talking about? “

“I’m not sure, Doo-Wop. But I don’t think they are gonna let us talk our way out of this one. “

A soldier walked by and started to take their weapons. He went to Blues first, and took his guitar. Blues kicked him in the knee and the guitar crashed to the ground on its strings. The blast knocked everyone down from the soundwave and the team piled into the van to make their escape.

“Boss, how we gonna get out of this one? You know I can drive my ass off, but I can’t outrun an entire army.”

“Don’t worry RB, I know a place where we can be safe for a while and we can figure all of this out. Just best get moving, it’s gonna be a long ride. “

[Myrdraxxis]

"Uhhh, sir?" Gree glanced away from the controls, to his pilot who was staring in confusion at the readouts. Or...whatever those were. Gree didn't actually know a lot about how his ship runs. That's why he had these subordinates after all.

"What is it?"

"The uh...the people who came aboard with us?"

"The cannon fodder? What about them?" Gree asked.

"Well they just...jumped out of the ship." his pilot reported. Gree stared at him for a moment and then looked out the nearby viewport. Sure enough, several of the Anti-Zais faction were plummeting towards the ground, upon which GOLDBEZ had already made his mark. "What should we do?"

Gree stared for a moment. "Keep firing." he said.

"But sir that will mean firing at our own people-"

"Keep. Firing."

"Aye sir."

Further in the ship, the remainder of Havoc Squad stared down at the ground. "I...guess we should go too?" Vin suggested.

"Pff, you can jump out of the damn ship if you want to." Corr scoffed, though he did lean his head out of the viewport to get a better look. "I'll wait for a safer way to get down there."

"There isn't one." Dace was suddenly behind him.

"eh?"

Dace suddenly shoved Corr out of the ship and then dove after him. Vin sighed and rather than let Sindri do the same to him, jumped fromt he ship. Sindri and Taler were close behind.


Down below on the ground, the lingering threads of Zais' sanity were attempting to piece together the last few seconds.

He's watched the Ariande appear...and then suddenly that od GOLDBEZ guy jumped down at him....and then everything was kind of a blur.

Zais sighed and shook his head, glancing around. The ground was wrecked and GOLDBEZ was standing a few feet away. And still singing. "This is who they sent to defeat me?" he mused, then glanced up again in time to see Cybele plummeting towards him fists first. "Oh shi-"

At the last moment he managed teleport himself a bit further away, and a shell of Darkness rose up around him to block the sudden barrage of cannon fire coming from the ship. Zais clicked his teeth in annoyance. "Alright that's it! If we're doing this we're gonna do it right!" he yelled to no-one in particular. Darkness portals appeared behind him and a rather fearsome looking group of Shadow minions appeared.

"My lord." Dedrick Vasburg, House Lord of the Shadows and one of the rulers of Random World greeted with a bow. "The Lords are here to assist you."

Remember those guys? from Random World 1? No? That's okay, I don't really either. But they do exist. You can check.

"Excellent." Zais surveyed the mini-boss characters, pleased. Then frowned. "Wait, there are only like, five House Lords. Who are the rest of these guys?" Indeed, there were more than five present.

"We rallied some champions from some of our other conquered worlds, lord." Hyltir spoke up.

"Hmmm." Zais rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Well, then by all means, go have fun. I'll be waiting on my ship."

There was a pause. Several of the Shadows looked around.

"Er.... a ship, sir?" Faelin asked hesitantly. Zais nodded.

"Indeed. If they," He pointed to the Ariadne, "get to have a ship, I'm totally going to have one."

Where Zais was going to get one was anyone's guess. "Remember those ships we used to lay siege to the Clocktower in Random World?" Zais posed the question.

The blank looks he received were his answer.

"Okay, well we totally had those. I'll just summon one up assuming they haven't all been sold for scrap metal yet."

Before anyone could get a word in edge-wise Zais opened a very large portal in the sky. A shape slowly began to come through. A large, wedge-shaped spaceship reminiscent of a Star Destroyer but totally isn't because we don't want any legal issues with Disney.

"I'll be waiting on the bridge of my new ship, the SS-" Zais paused and squinted as he tried to read the name painted on the side of the ship, "Underboob." He blinked and tried to make sense of that. Who the hell named this ship? The captain? Actually, now that Zais took a good look, the underside of the ship had a large decal of a rather tantalizingly-clad Shadow woman painted on it.

"Well anyway, time to go take command of my new ship. Have fun guys." Zais said and then teleported up to his ship.

"Some of us should go with him? What if they reach the ship?" Faelin asked. Dedrick nodded in agreement.

"Send the new guys. We House Lords should be enough to handle these weaklings." And by saying so, Dedrick guaranteed his defeat without even raising his weapon. Sasuga, Dedrick-san.

Closer to the "landing zone" that GOLDBEZ had created, Corr, Vin and Taler landed, with varying degrees of crying along the way. Sindri and Dace were close behind.

"We all ready to do this?" Dace asked.

"Yeah I'm totally fine." Corr muttered, pulling himself up. "I only landed on my face."

Which was when Leske landed feet first on top of him, sending the Shadow soldier back to the ground.

"It would seem that we won't be facing Zais just yet." Leske observed. He was still standing on Corr. The gun mage pointed to the approaching figures of the Five House Lords. Vin whistled.

'Wow, haven't seen those guys in a while."

"I forgot they existed." Sindri confessed.

"Hold there, interlopers!" Dedrick bellowed, drawing his big-ass sword (yes that's the official classification) and pointing it in their direction. "You will go no further!"

"Lord Zais' efforts will not be halted." Xiffrin added.

"Imma chop you little bitches up and smoke you!" Ouran declared....prompting odd looks from the other House Lords for a moment.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Captain Neero was a man of little formality when it came to running his ship. Whatever military posturing was required of him left when he was aboard the SS Underboob. The crew was relaxed, the job was easy enough and morale was high. It, of course, helped that they hadn't been called to active service in years. There was a rumor going around that their lord and master Zais didn't even know they existed, but Neero stifled that kind of talk. as best he could.

Still, as the captain swaggered onto the bridge of the Underboob, his Hawaiian shirt freshly ironed and his martini freshly stirred, Neero had to admit that he had his doubts as well. He hadn't seen Zais at all since the siege of the Clocktower, and heck, there were guys down in engineering that hadn't ever laid eyes on Zais at all.

"Okay dudes, anything to report?" Captain Neero posed the question to his officers, at their stations for once rather than just standing around gossiping. Huh, that was odd.

Some of them shot him fearful looks and Neero felt a sudden anxiety form inside him. "Er...what's going on?"

"Neero...er, Captain," his first officer Ydda (and the model for their rather fetching ship decal) spoke up. "We have a visitor."

"What? Who could we possibly have taken on?"

"So, nice ship you got here." Zais said from where he was leaned up against the wall. Neero froze. Shadow beings skin color was too dark to "go pale" but it certainly lightened up a few notches. Instinct kicked in and Neero snapped to attention, saluting with the wrong hand (his right one was holding the martini).

"Lord Zais!"

"Yep, that's me." Zais agreed, standing up and walking towards the captain. "I find myself in need of a flagship, and the good ol' Underboob just so happens to fit the bill."

In what universe could his wonderful, laidback, military disaster of a ship possibly fit the bill as Zais' flagship? Neero pondered for a moment. "Well, we would of course be...honored sir." he replied after a moment.

"Awesome!" Zais grinned, slapping Neero roughly on the back and making the man stumble a bit. "Then rev up those cannons cause we're gonna blow that bugger out of the sky." Zais pointed out the front viewport where the Ariadne was visible.

"Yes sir!" Neero said. "You heard him! Battlestations people!"

"Gunnery officers begin preparation!" Ydda barked. "All engineering staff to decks seven through twelve!" people began rushing to their jobs. "Lock down the waterslide and cancel tonight's luau!"

"Time to take things up a notch." Zais grinned, absently taking Neero's martini and taking a sip.