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Post by Calefrun on Mar 18, 2015 16:52:32 GMT -5
Kayla, Al, and Cozaltene watched as the others jumped out of the ship into the mass of darkness below. With a grunt, Kayla slowly rose to her feet.
"Looks like they're taking on an Immortal," she commented. "Guess I'd better lend a hand." She started making her way to the airlock when Al unsteadily stood up.
Sounding slightly concerned he asked, "You're jumping into another fight?"
"Yep"
"But we just finished fighting that dragon! Don't you think you've earned a rest?"
She laughed and looked over her shoulder at him while leaning against the doorframe. "Earned a rest, huh? No, not while there's still work to be done. Besides, to be honest, that thing was much stronger the last time I fought it."
He hobbled his way over to her, and looked down to the confrontation on the ground. "And you're just going to... jump?"
"You heard that guy a minute ago- there's no better way dow- wha?!" Before she could finish her sentence, she felt an arm around her waist, lifting her off the ground. She looked up, and found that Cozaltene had walked up behind the pair and was now holding one of them under each of his arms.
Kayla raised her eyebrows in surprise. "How... how are you standing right now?"
Al, looking just as bewildered, asked, "And since when are you this strong? And is it just me, or do you look a little taller than before?"
His face expressionless, Cozaltene looked at Kayla. "How many of those giant floating shields can you summon at once?"
"I... I haven't reached a limit in quite a while, but... right now I probably only have the energy to conjure around twenty or so. Why?"
He directed his gaze towards the SS Underboob. "The enemy is up there. Jumping down to fight minions would just be a waste of effort. I need you to make as many shields as you can, and space them out evenly between the two ships."
"That's... completely ridiculous."
Al started squirming around, trying to break free of his friend's grip. "Rick, what the hell has gotten into you lately? Why are y-"
"Unfortunately," Kayla continued, cutting him off, "I've been spending the past few years wishing I could have that sort of ridiculous thinking back in my life, so... eh, fuck it." She closed her eyes to concentrate, and moments later twenty shining kite and tower shields appeared in the air between the Ariadne and the Underboob, all facing down towards the battlefield below. Kayla examined her work, then sighed. "Sorry, this is all I can do. Even if you're strong enough to lift both of us, the closest one is at least 50 meters away. You won't be able to-"
Cozaltene suddenly launched himself from the ship, taking his passengers with him. After soaring through the sky, he landed squarely in the center of the first shield.
"-make the jump..." Kayla finished.
Deciding to put his two cents in Al declared, "What in the fuck."
Cozaltene jumped again without responding, and landed smoothly on the next shield. He did it again, and again, and the trio slowly began making their way across the sky towards Zais' ship.
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Post by Mizagium on Mar 21, 2015 22:18:49 GMT -5
Torran ¬had grown accustomed to passing his time by watching the Artist create the universal tapestry from his perch on the Edge. He wasn’t sure how much time had passed since Knox had brought him here. Dropped him, more like. Despite Knox’s stated intentions of helping resolve his temporal-memory paradox, the Immortal had done very little himself, which Torran thought was kind of shitty. But he had to admit, the Edge had certainly sorted him out.
It hadn’t been instantaneous, but it had worked. On the advice of the Artist, he had meditated for long periods of time, letting his mind drift in and out of his memories, both sets. It seemed an irreconcilable morass at first, but as he floated through, he began to feel the truths behind the memories. It seemed for a time that he would be able to find his truth and purge the false. And yet, he discovered that there was no ‘true’ and ‘false’ to his conflicting memories, for both were equally valid. He had indeed lived two lives, one in one world, and one in another. In time, he had become accustomed to experiencing two different version of himself as one being. Now, the conflict hardly bothered him. It simply was an aspect of who he was. He was two, a dual person: one body sharing two experiences. He learned to focus in on one set or another, to swim in the paradoxical union of the two, and to shut them away entirely, focusing instead on the person he was now.
So it was within all aspects of himself that he felt the shock of seeing the murder displayed in the pattern. He hadn’t learned to read all of it yet, but he started to recognize repeating patterns. Even so, there was no reason he should have recognized the particular design that lit up the section pertaining to Funky Land. Only the ‘other’ aspect of himself had been there before, but it was enough to strike a familiar chord. And, although it had been years since, and he had not been looking for his pattern, both halves instantly recognized it. The shock nearly knocked him from his perch, and it sent his dual memories swimming chaotically. Both half of himself had met this man, both had been taken in for a time, had shared nearly identical memories. After a moment to sort himself out, Torran was finally able to process the information: General Jazz was dead.
Murdered. He couldn’t read the pattern of the perpetrator.
The Edge wasn’t a very large dimension, so it he found the Artist in only a minute two, but he was breathless regardless, having sprinted the whole way.
“I saw,” the man said, bobbing his thick, curly brown hair.
“Who did it?” Torran demanded.
The Artist casually dabbed his brush on his pallet and drew a white smear across his canvas. As it slid slowly towards the top, to join the grand pattern, he said. “I can’t say.”
“You don’t know?”
“I can’t say,” he repeated slowly. He was a tall man, wearing black jeans and a blue button-up shit with the sleeves rolled back. The curly hair on his face matched that upon his head. “I am merely an artist…”
“After everything you did for me? Why is this different?”
“I did nothing. You sorted yourself out.”
Torran sucked in a deep breath and held it. No good would come from arguing with this man. He was a fixture in this dimension, more a force of nature than a person, really. Arguing with him would accomplish just as much as screaming at a tornado. Actually, it being Awesome Land and all, screaming at the tornado might actually make it leave.
“Then I need to go.”
“Yes,” the Artist agreed. “You will leave. You will not come back.”
“What does that mean?”
“It is exactly as I have said.” He drew another deliberate stroke on the canvas, an odd mixture of green and black. When he drew the brush away, it held no trace of paint. Torran suspected that the man had no need of picking a new color on the pallet before drawing again, that the brush would change to whatever color he wanted. In fact, he was pretty sure that it was all unnecessary, and that the Artist could simply will it all into being. But for whatever reason, he enjoyed the pageantry.
Which left Torran to turn that phrase over and over in his mind. The Artist had delivered his lines impassionedly, having no emotional connection to those involved. He was simple the Artist, and he painted the world, the universe, into being. Torran assessed he himself was probably guided by forces even higher, and actually had no control over what he actually painted.
Time alone here had given him a lot of time to think about things. He didn’t like it.
As he mentally prepared himself to rejoin the rest of civilization, he heard the Artist speak again, “You will not remember this place, exactly.”
“Why not?” He wasn’t expecting an answer.
“It is the nature of these things. You are on the edge of reality, such things…twist was is.”
Torran frowned. “I sorted out my own memories. I won’t forget here. I won’t forget you.”
“A nice thought, and I appreciate it. But you cannot change what is.”
“Pff.” Torran snorted. “You haven’t been to Awesome Land.”
“Even there, there are things you cannot change.”
He turned away, to watch the universe come to be once more. “Is that what you meant? When you said I would not come back, did you mean I’ll never come back to the Edge?”
He waited in a long silence, again not really waiting for an answer. He wanted so much to burn that image of reality into his brain, to never forget the beauty of raw creation, of the world before it came to be. It calmed even him, a young man who had so previously been filled with unguided anger. And just for a moment, he considered staying. But he saw it in the skies, saw him leave, and knew there was no changing things. So he walked to the very tip of the Edge, where unconstructed reality gave way to raw truth, which crystallized into the reality most experienced. Then he glanced once more back at the Artist painting, to the sheer nothingness beyond him. He had long wondered what lay beyond the Artist, what was there to be found in the bright whiteness. The Artist never offered any answers, but in that moment, he though he knew what. He imagined a brilliant female figure waiting within, beneficent and warm, surrounded by a host of winged forms. But it was only a moment, and then he was falling…
And in that brief moment passing back into realspace, he thought he heard the Artist whisper, “No.”
~
He found himself in a vaguely familiar land, perhaps a place he had visited once before on his world-hopping thief adventures. Before? Had he ever stopped world-hopping? …Yes. Briefly. When he had been caught and imprisoned in the Crystallus. And then some adventures in Random World…and then…
He touched his head. Good lord, had he just been drunk for the last six months or so? Probably. But at least his double-memory ish had been settled. “Hell of a bender,” he muttered, but still couldn’t shake the suspicion that he had forgotten something. So, he went through the usual checklist after waking up after being backout drunk.
All limbs attached. Two eyes. Clothed. His two daggers, Agony and Irony, he found in their sheathes. He found his pouches of colored poop gas powder (including a secret compartment that held blue poop gas). Everything seemed in order. He was alive and whole and more or less mentally sound. So what was missing?
A thick fog seemed to obscure certain parts of his memory. He could think straight, sure, but trying to recall where he was and why was like stumbling though the aforementioned fog.
“Someone…died.” That was hardly surprising. Plenty of people died when he was around and it bothered him none. This time was different, however. “Someone…I know.” Someone important. But he didn’t have anyone important. Not for a long time. Not since…not since… “Jazz!” Yes! Jazz was dead. Murdered. And he had gotten drunk the night before after receiving the news. And now he found himself in Funky Land, off to confront the bastard who had killed the only father figure he had ever known, whoever he was. No one seemed to know who killed Jazz, but they had told him he was leading the NAACP these days, bearing the title of General.
Had been leading. Jazz was dead.
“I’m gonna kill…whoever did this.”
He brought up his right hand and slashed the air, his worldclaw briefly manifesting to tear the fabric of reality away, opening a short portal to the NAACP headquarters, and leapt through. tl;dr - Torran learns about Jazz's murder through not-Bob Ross and goes back to reality to find the killer, sneaking into NAACP HQ with a cheathax. -
Llenchi wallowed in defeat at the Dead-End Bar in Loserville. I’m not joking either. Loserville is a real place. It was founded by a bunch of the local village leaders and whatnot that were deposed and survived during Leon’s conquest of Awesome Land X many years ago. Even after the War of Four Kings, the Rise of the Grand Imperatrix, and whatnot, they really didn’t feel like going home again, what with all the shame that came with being a Loser.
Also, when Leon found out about Loserville (it wasn’t called Loserville at the time; the residents had called it something like Vengeanceburg) he had the town renamed and everyone there branded with a ‘Loser’ mark. So, coupled with private shame, public humiliation, and a general lack of ambition, the Losers of Loserville stayed right where they were.
Llenchi had sort of been joking when he asked the taxi driver to take him to Loserville, but he should have been suspicious when the driver seemed to know exactly where to go. He dumped him at the Dead-End Bar because apparently that’s where all the Losers in town went to try to forget that they were losers. But that was REALLY hard to do when you were forehead-branded as a Loser. Also, Leon apparently used magic to brand the folks, so it actually seeped into their genes. The handful of kids that had been born in Loserville were also marked as Losers. Which is pretty dick, if you ask me.
Despite being the only person in the bar (and probably the whole town) not marked as a Loser, Llenchi certainly felt like one. And he should. Because he was. And he said as much to the bartender, whose name was Chuck, or something stupid like that.
“Can you believe it, man?” he moaned. “I suck. I actually managed to trick my way into being an Immortal for a while. You know the Immortals, right?”
“No.” News didn’t really reach Loserville. Most of the Awesome Land Postal Workers took one look at letters marked “Loserville” and tossed them into the ‘stupid letter fire’ that all post offices maintained out back. The Imperial Postmaster General had even declared Loserville a ‘non-place’ and was doing her best to expunge the location from public records.
“Well anyway. They’re pretty cool. So there was this one guy, ok? Galro, I think. Water, yeah? Well, I have ice powers or whatever.” He grumbled that ice didn’t get to be capitalized anymore. “And I figured, hey, I can do Immortal business. So I managed to find a wizard who works for cheap to cheat me into the Immortal stasis chamber, ok?”
“What.”
“Well it worked for a while because I took the ice half of Galro’s power and they all had amnesia from like a thousand years of sleep or whatever. But then it wore off because something. I tried to make it on my own, but then I got possessed by a demon!” He waved his arms in the air dramatically, but the bartender was unfazed. “So I had that going for me for a while. But then that got exorcised and I didn’t even get to keep any of his power. In fact, I might actually be weaker now.” He sighed. “Can I just get a glass of water?”
Llenchi tapped one finger to the glass, freezing the liquid within. He flipped the glass and the chunk of ice dropped onto the counter. He focused all his power on the ice before him. It bisected, then again and again until he had 64 small cubes of ice levitating before him. He made them dance, and spin, and revolve around the glass.
“Impressive,” Chuck observed.
“Hardly,” Llenchi snorted. “Any base-level magus can do that. But I’m actually a Cryonis. An ice-person. I was born in Chill Land. We all have natural ice powers. It’s how we survive there. But I…” He grimaced, remembering the accident. “Mine were always…lesser. So I…left.”
“And here you are,” Chuck observed tonelessly.
“Loserville.” Llenchi spun around and observed the depressing showing. It was pretty early for there to be this many sad drunks in the bar, but from what he’d seen, there were more drunks per capita in Loserville than people. “Maybe this is where I belong. The only Cryonis who can’t…anyway.”
He sat there for a long time, shaped the ice cubes into little people and made them reenact “El Tango de Roxane” from Moulin Rouge, and brooded some more about what to do with his life. He replaced the ice people in the glass and watched them panic as they melted, unable to do anything to save themselves. Once it was water again, he froze it once more, but left it.
“But you know, he always believed in me.” He stared into the perspiring glass. “Even after he found out what happened. He always thought I had it in me to make something of myself. Maybe I should go see him. I heard he’s leading the NAACP now, up in Funky Land. Ever been there, Chuck?”
“Once,” the bartender conceded. “Long ago. Before Veralice. Discotech was lord, then. I thought I could escape, but found only another tyrant awaiting here.”
“Yeah that’s great. I should go there and see how he’s doing.” Mind made up, Llenchi spun around and hopped off the barstool. He winced as his bare feet touched the sticky hardwood floor, but wasn’t about to let that deter him. A brief good mood had swept over him, a resoluteness that had somehow pushed aside his continuing streak of just terrible luck. So he was going to go to Funky Land and see his old mentor. Maybe he could find his way after catching up.
Maybe.
But for Llenchi, it seemed that it was not meant to be. For, as he was reaching the door, it opened from the outside, and a haggard-looking messenger stumbled in. He was covered in mud, twigs, branches, rocks, a dead raccoon, and his left shoe seemed to have been burnt away recently. He was also, most definitely not an Imperial Postal worker.
“Are…you…Llenchi?”
“Um…who wants to know?”
“Message…from…Jazz…”
He thrust a beat-up envelope into Llenchi’s hands and then stepped back out the door. When Llenchi followed him, he was nowhere to be seen. Unsettled, Llenchi turned the letter over. The front of the envelope bore a couple of scratched out names before one read “The ice kid Jazz talked about sometimes” in handwriting that was hasty and clearly not Jazz’s. Nervously he opened the letter.
Sorry, I didn’t get your name, but I had to send this out. You were the easiest to track down based on description alone. Can’t say much. You need to come to Funky Land. NAACP headquarters (former Discotech Castle). Jazz is dead. Need help. Traitor in midst. Hurry.
No signature, no handwriting he could recognize. And it didn’t make sense. Jazz was dead. Jazz was dead.
Jazz is dead.
He didn’t believe the letter. It had to be wrong. Something was very, very wrong. But Jazz wasn’t dead – he couldn’t be dead. That was impossible.
Hurry.
Yeah, it had to be a trick. Maybe someone wanted him dead and he needed help. Yeah, that had to be it. So he had to go to Funky Land. He had to help Jazz, had to save him from whatever or whoever was after him, just like he had saved Llenchi that time.
But how was he going to get all the way to Funky Land from…wherever the hell Loserville was? He honestly had no idea where in Awesome Land he was. The cab ride had shown no familiar landmarks, and something about the place just seemed to discourage leaving. But he had to leave. Had to get to Funky Land.
He knew a way, had actually used it before. But it wouldn’t hold out if the journey went on for too long. “It has to work,” he declared, “because I need it to.” So Llenchi summoned as much of his power as he could, freezing the water in the air and pulling it to his back, where it aggregated into a pair of more or less anatomically correct wings. He flexed them and the moved as they should, controlled by cryokinesis, directly from his mind. It might as well be a new set of muscles. Temporary, but they would work like they should. He had flown with this skill before, but for very long. Today, he would break that record. Today he would break his long streak of terrible luck.
Today, Llenchi would be a hero. With a running start, he leapt into the air and took flight, shakily at first, but fell back into the old habit, and found a thermal to ride high above the town and scrub plains around it. He set his course for north, and held onto the hope that the letter was a mistake.
tl;dr - Llenchi is a loser. In Loserville. Then he gets a letter about Jazz's murder and decides to suck it up somewhere else (NAACP HQ) while searching for the killer -
Virgil von Discotech scowled deeply at the impossibly tall stack of books that had accumulated beside him and began a new pile. Every book stacked there had been tossed aside with such varied exclamations as “Trash” “Filth” “Juvenile” “Banal” and “Porn”. His latest had earned the ever-coveted “Insulting” descriptor.
Truth be told, Virgil wasn’t exactly sure what it was he was looking for in the Dynasty City Public Library, only that sis hours of nonstop reading had produced nothing of value to him. “Is there anything in this facility that was not composed by a lobotomized lawlasaurus?” He was talking at a normal volume, but he might as well have been shouting; it was a library after all.
It had been strange, awakening in that confined contraption of a UFO, stuffed into a compartment that barely contained his contorted torso. A lesser man would have panicked, but Virgil von Discotech was not a lesser man. He was, in fact, a superior man. And superior men do not panic if the odds are turned against them. Superior men take command of their emotions and bodily functions and lesser men around them, and press-gang them all into submission. And it was through intense control over his situation that Virgil escaped from the mechanical prison. That is, he channeled enough energy into the device to overload it’s programming and induce an emergency containment void.
He, along with a stuffed lawlasaurus, several tons of confetti (made from shredded magazines and newpapers) and quite the collection of teeth were spilled unceremoniously onto the scuffed hardwood floor of a mid-range apartment in the lower Tau District of Dynasty City. After explaining his situation to the trio of curiously boring residents – his situation being that he could not remember where he was or how he had come to be stuffed into that UFO (although he did seem to recall a certain pick-haired young woman) – they were more than happy to show him the door. And then slam it behind him.
Armed with nothing but the clothes on his back, a general sense of who he was, and incalculable energy manipulation powers, Virgil set off through Dynasty City, stopping only to demand answers from terrified, but compliant pedestrians. Unwilling to put himself at the mercy of the newly crowned Emperor Awesome, Virgil had sought out the greatest source of knowledge known to man: the Public Library. Unfortunately, the Dynasty City Public Library was sorely lacking, as mentioned above.
An adorable old lady shuffled up to where Virgil continued to insult book. “Excuse me, sir, is there something I can help you with?”
He fixed her an unimpressed stare. “And who are you, exactly?”
“Why, the head librarian, of course.” She pointed to a nametag that Virgil didn’t bother to read.
“Excellent, then. You can help me by pointing me to the section of this…facility where I may find literature of an intellectually stimulating fashion, and not this…drivel.” He swept his arms wide to indicate the entire section.
“I…don’t understand.”
He sighed wearily. “Not one tome have I selected here has proven to be anything of worth.”
The librarian frowned and examined the pile of books. She selected a book from the center of the stack, which sent the whole thing crashing down and elicited another sigh from Virgil. “But these are classics.”
He snatched the book from her bony hands. “Big Booty Bitches,” he read skeptically. At her eager face, he tossed it and pulled another. “Why Do Birds Suddenly Appear?” Another. “How to Color inside the Lines” and another. “Oh, and my personal favorite: ‘Yar Har Fiddely Dee, or Do What You Want, ‘Cause a Pirate is Free’ subtitled ‘You are a Pirate’ by U.R. A. Pirate.”
“Classics,” the librarian repeated.
Virgil dropped the book. “Why can I not locate a single book on the Sciences? I desire to read upon the sciences, to expand my already impressive repertoire of subjects of which I possess an infallible understanding.” As the librarian began to pick up the books that had fallen on the floor, Virgil stepped aside. “I find it very difficult to believe that a city created and founded by the legendary Bill Nye, the Science Guy would come equipped with a library stocked with nothing but useless fiction!”
Whatever other insults he was inventing were lost when something hard impacted the back of his head. “What?” He spun to find the librarian ready with another book. “Did you – “ It flew and struck him in the chest.
“No one insults books in my house, you hooligan.” She looked quite fierce, for an old woman.
“One could hardly call these-“ another book narrowly missed his head. “Stop doing that!”
Her wrinkled form belied a surprising virility. Two more rapid-fire books forced the amnesiac energy wielder to retreat, which was a mistake, as it gave the old woman time to find cover behind a low shelf. Evidently, she was itching for a fight. Virgil was not. Nor was he expecting one, so when the spine of “Yar Har” smacked him right in the forehead, the anger that sparked to life was real and uncontrolled.
“Very well, you old bag. If you desire a war of words, then I am more than happy to oblige!” An arc of white light from his hand caught a flung book midair, combusting instantly. The cloud of ash provided enough cover to stall the librarian. In that brief lull, he gathered enough energy in his hands and flung towards where the librarian took cover. The bookshelf exploded and the remains burst into flames, but the librarian was nowhere to be found.
Two books came from down range, at the other side of the library, which he also caught in the air. This time, a third book sailed through the cloud of burned scrap and hit his knee at the right angle to force his leg to buckle. Down he went in a fury, catching his fall with both hands. Snarling, he pumped energy through them. Thick bolts of electric blue energy erupted out of the floor, tearing apart carpet, shelf, book, and light fixture.
“I will not be humiliated in such a way!” He got back on his feet in an instant and began sweeping wide fans of energy across the interior. “Do you know who I am? I am Virgil von Discotech! I bend the universe to my fingertips! I command the laws of reality! I will not be defeated by cheap literature!”
When his rage had subsided, only a hollow structure remained, and even then, just barely. All bookshelves had been vaporized. Not one book remained. Nor any furniture. He wasn’t sure if there had been any patrons at the time, but he certainly didn’t see any now. The old librarian lay half-buried in a pile of ash, still breathing. Satisfied at emerging the victor, yet disgusted at having lost his temper, Virgil stormed out of there, only to be greeted by a city embroiled in chaos.
Imperial soldiers and Shadow soldiers clashed in the streets, while a dark fortress loomed over the center of the city. A large dust cloud had apparently risen up recently, but was settling now. “Has the world gone mad? I appear to be the only sane person for miles.” Two Shadow soldiers rushed at him, but he vaporized them instantly. “Foolish.”
Unwilling to get wrapped up in any ridiculous conflict today, Virgil took off down the street, casually vaporizing anyone who strayed too close to him, Shadow soldier or otherwise. Not many did, once they saw the kind of power he could toss around, everyone tried to stay as far away as possible. So, Virgil was allowed to traverse Aurora Street relatively unmolested. And he would have likely taken the road all the way out of the city, were it not for a conveniently placed news report.
He was passing by Radio Hut, when he saw Jazz’s face. “And in other, non-Darkness related news,” the haggard-looking anchor was saying, “Funky Land Hero, General Jazz, of the NAACP, was killed in an explosion earlier today. The only known witness, Captain Calypso, was unavailable for comment, as he is currently on the run and wanted by the police as a suspect in the apparent murder. We go live to our only field reporter, apparently, Cheryl Power for the story. Cheryl?”
But Virgil didn’t wait to see the field report. He lit the entire Radio Hut up, which really wasn’t much of a loss, seeing that there was actually nobody working in there at the time. In fact, Radio Hut hadn’t carried anything close to the latest technology for nearly a decade, and it was a wonder than anyone eve frequented it in the first place. Plus, in the midst of the Zais conflict, one more destroyed building went more or less unnoticed.
“How can this be? How can that man…be dead? This is an insult. How can it be that I had to find out in such an insulting pedestrian manner that my greatest mentor was murdered? I will find whoever did this; I will make them pay for murdering Jazz, and then for forcing such an insult upon me!”
Great crackling bolts of energy traced jagged paths across the street as Virgil fought to control his temper. It failed, but he did managed to control his powers enough to levitate, and then propel him northeast towards Funky Land.
tl;dr - Virgil gets into a book fight with an old lady, learns about Jazz's murder via television, destroys Radio Hut, and flys to Funky Land. -
Carter sniffed audibly from his perch, high above the bustle of the Interdimensional Soul Exchange. Demons, greater and lesser thronged to and fro, shouting in many an infernal language, bartering on souls as they passed through the ISE. Not all souls, of course, only which performed enough evil deeds in life to warrant such a fate, or those who had intentionally struck deals with demons, trading their souls for any number of stupid wishes.
Carter hardly had any room to criticize, having made such a deal with Clyde, not so long ago. Even though Clyde had redeemed himself and abandoned the Fallen Paradise, Carter remained in a new hell, his soul contract having been picked up by the Hot Demonic Lady, General Manager of the ISE. It wasn’t bad there, as far as potential hells went, but it certainly wasn’t good.
Countless pathways branched out from the central Exchange room, apparently leading to as many other dimensions or universes. He could never remember the distinction, or what the HDL had told him. He had seen her in passing mostly, since then, her and her demon lawyer, whose name he also didn’t bother to remember, stalking about the ISE. She preferred a hands-on approach to running a soul business, apparently. Although he also hadn’t wondered what exactly she benefitted from this enterprise, she had told him: she received a 1% commission on all soul exchanges performed in the ISE. How exactly THAT worked, she wasn’t offering, which was just as well, because he wasn’t going to ask.
Fenris and Frigga gnawed on a pair of elder bones at his heels, finding their new existence as hellhouds quite acceptable. He could feel their content, in his mind. While he and they had always shared a preternatural bond, since the contract with Clyde, Carter had noted a stronger, almost telepathic link with his wolf-siblings. Like most other things, he felt indifferent to its existence, even if it did ease some of the loneliness.
By all rights, he should have been sweltering. The walls and floors were all made of hardened hellfire. Even though he didn’t wear a shirt, he should have been extremely hot, but no. He supposed his infernal contract had something to do with that, but he hadn’t dwelled on it much. All in all Carter was bored, and only regretted selling his soul for power for the simple reason that he no longer had the freedom he once did.
“Like what you see?” came a sultry voice from behind. He turned lazily around to find the HDL grinning at him lecherously. “I know I do.” Her sycophantic little man scowled deeply.
“It certainly is a thing,” he replied dispassionately.
“Yes,” she agreed, still not taking her eyes off him. “It certainly is.”
Carter sighed heavily. Frigga perked up and waited expectantly for him to scratch behind her ears.
“You don’t find this to your liking?” She pouted, which might have worked on literally anyone besides Carter. She was quite a thing to look at, he had to admit, even if he didn’t care. She possess that perfect hourglass figure, over which she wore a suit jacket, unbuttoned that clung to her skin impossibly, and a loose necktie. Her hair was living fire, and so could assume whatever length and style she desired. Sharp red eyes, and full red lips could apparently hypnotize most mortal men. From the waist down, a tight pencil skirt, dark leggings, and six-inch stiletto heels.
“Boring,” he said plainly, not caring whether he actually hurt her feelings or not.
“Well, no one said Hell would be a college party.”
“You aren’t exactly in a position to complain,” the little demon said pointedly. Fenrir ceases his gnawing to growl at him, and he stepped back a little.
“Oh hush,” the HDL replied lazily. “Carter is our guest. I really wish you would try to get along.”
“I get along fine. He has the problem. Him and his…beasts.”
Carter wrinkled his nose. “What can I say? Fenris and Frigga…they don’t like suckups.”
“Why, I – “
“And let me tell you something, little man. She might hold my contract, but you don’t. I gained a lot of power from Clyde when I signed it. And now that she holds it, I have to do whatever she asks, so if she tells me not to have my wolves tear you apart, bone by bone, eating you one little piece at a time while you scream and writhe in agony, I won’t do that. But she hasn’t given me that order, has she?”
The lawyer paled and looked to his mistress, who only shrugged.
“So I advise you to sleep with one of your little beady eyes open for the time being. I’m in a foul mood, and I’ve been looking for a suitable outlet.”
“Okay,” the HDL soothed with a smile. “That’s enough for today boys. Pick back up tomorrow. Orwell, please return to your duties. I have something to discuss with Carter.”
Orwell shot Carter and the wolves another disapproving glance before obeying.
“He’s really a good man,” she offered.
“For a demon,” Carter replied.
“Well, of course.” She stared at him again, this time, differently.
“What do you want? I have brooding to get back to.”
“I see you’re very busy, but I do think you’ll find this interesting.”
“Doubtful.”
“I’m sure you’re aware of a man named Jazz?”
Carter tensed. How did she knew about Jazz? He hadn’t talked about him to anybody. “What about him?”
“Well…he’s dead.”
The confused anger didn’t show on Carter’s face, but Fenris and Frigga rose to their feet, bristling and snarling. “How?”
She spread her hands, still not appearing sympathetic. “Murder, it seems.”
“Helpful.”
“I’m giving you everything I can, kid. There are rules to this business, you see.”
“Right.”
He turned away and stared out over the ISE. It had been years since he’d thought about that man, the closest thing Carter had had to a father…aside from his actual father, who had also been murdered when he was just a child. In fact, it was that murder that had brought him to the wolves, and then to Jazz, who had helped tame his wild rage. It hadn’t worked for very long because Carter left and hunted down the bastard murdered, and killed him himself.
What a life. A short life. One filled with violence and anger from start to, well, hiatus. And it looked like that wasn’t about to change.
“I…I need a favor,” he began, but she cut him off.
“Of course. Feel free to leave whenever you’re ready.” When he faced her, she was wearing that sly grin that said she was going to come out on top of a deal, no matter how he played it.
“What?”
“What what?”
“That look. Why are you just letting me go?”
“I never commanded you to stay here, did I?”
“What’s the catch?”
“I already own your soul, Carter. What more could I possibly want from you?”
He narrowed his eyes, unwilling to leave until he understood exactly what kind of trap he was walking into.
“Let’s just call it a favor,” she said finally, acting as if she had to really consider the issue. “I let you go up to the living world, avenge the murder of your not-father, and in return…”
“And in return?”
“And in return…well, you’ll just owe me a favor, ok?” She winked at him, spun on her heels, and sauntered away, proving him with what must have been an impressively seductive view.
“That woman,” he growled.
Fenris and Frigga barked at him, eager looks in their canine eyes. He felt their impatience. Jazz had been like a surrogate father to them as well as himself. They wanted to track down the bastard who had murdered Jazz just like he. Unlike him, however, they were willing to deal with the consequences later in favor of vengeance now.
“I guess I can’t argue with that,” he sighed. “Yeesh, what a pain.” A hellfire portal opened before him at a thought. He wasn’t sure where it would deposit him, but he had desired a portal that would take him to the scene of the crime, so he assumed that’s where it would lead him. He didn’t imagine a hellmouth opening up anywhere would go over well, but it couldn’t be helped. Well, it could be helped, but he really didn’t care enough to do so. Let them think Hell itself was seeking vengeance for the murder of General Jazz.
“Once more into the breach,” he muttered, and ambled through, angry hellhounds chasing ater him.
tl;dr - Hell sucks. Carter is bored. HDL hits on him. He jumps through hellfire to get to the crime scene. -
Mara Lee did something she had never done before: she stopped taking notes in Magus Lehrer’s class. She had been back from her adventure with Cassandra for a few days now, having caught and delivered the renegade mathemagician, Soh Cah Toa, to Scholastic Land’s Superintendent. She was summarily thanks, assured that her services to Academia would be noted on her Permanent Record, and urged to immediately return to her classwork. Although she felt such a thanks was in appropriately small, she gathered that the higher-ups were loath to admit they had entrusted recovery of a dangerous criminal to a young girl. Nevermind that she was the ‘brightest mathemagician since Artemis,’ whoever that was.
So she returned to her studies, poured over her books on Higher Mathematics, practiced as she had before, and generally tried to resume her previous routine. Which went about as well as she should have expected. After jumping through 4th dimensional spacefolds, chasing a mad wizard across time, school just seemed…boring by comparison. Where she had once found joy in learning new ways to use math to bend reality to her will, now she only found the hollow drone of one tired old academic after another. She wanted to perform mathemagic in the real world, not under the careful scrutiny of the Board of Educators.
Oh, and don’t even get her started on the power limiters she had discovered upon returning. Once out on an adventure, she had assumed her natural talent was finally showing through, but after returning, she found her abilities seemed to regress. After a bit of poking around with Elberich, she discovered that there were actually quantum mathemagical wards in the Arcanium, preventing students from using too much magical power at once, ostensibly to keep them from accidentally destroying something important. Like reality. She had to admit, it made a deal of sense.
So she dove into the by-laws, and found an appeal system. Apparently, the quantum restrictor wards could be adjusted for individual students who demonstrated an above-average ability to perform magic. So she filed it and was surprised to find they accepted her to a hearing within a day. She pled her case before the Board of Educators, especially the part about how she had tracked down Soh Cah Toa (carefully not mentioning how critical Cassandra had been; she wasn’t ungrateful, but she really wanted those wards adjusted) and that it had even been marked on her Permanent Record. To her surprise (no, she really was surprised this time) the Board declared that whatever commendations she had received for her service did not demonstrate qualifications for altering the quantum restrictors. Her appeal was denied and she was told not to raise the issue again.
That was yesterday, and now she sat in class, bored, letting her pen fall out of her hand, after abandoning notes entirely to doodle her opening a spacetimefold and banishing the Board of Educators to an infernal dimension. Well, that’s what it was in her head. On paper, it looked like a handful of vaguely humanoid scribbles being pulled into a scribble spiral by a bunch of other scribbles. Hey man, she didn’t major in any of the Fine Art Magics for a reason.
Elberich Ritter, who sat beside her in every class they shared, glanced over at her notes, as he frequently did. He wasn’t a slacker per se but he nearly always copied his work from Mara Lee. He could do it – she knew because she had made him complete and entire semester’s work in one week before last year’s finals – and he could apply it well enough, but he just didn’t care.
“Uh, Mar. You ok?” He poked her cheek gently with the end of his pen.
“Hm? Oh.” She stared down at her notebook, frowning at her terrible doodles, which encompassed nearly half the page. “Yeah, I’m…yeah…” she trailed off again. They spoke above a whisper, but even that was lost in the low hum of conversation throughout the lecture hall. Professor Lehrer was mostly deaf, they had figured out. As well, he usually lectured with his back turned, writing the important bits on the magical chalkboard, so it was common practice in his classes to carry on little conversations while simply copying his chalkboard notes and diagrams. That was all that was ever on the test. Mara Lee was the only person probably in the entire Arcanium that actually copied his entire lecture. She had piles of notebooks that were filled with his long, boring lectures – even when he launched in anecdotes about his youth, which had thus far never proved useful. But she had them ready, just in case.
“That was convincing,” Elberich deadpanned. He reached over and slid her notebook away, an act which would normally have earned him a no-holds-barred beatdown in the middle of class, but this time earned him only a dispassionate grunt. “Let’s see here. Mar, do you realize you haven’t actually written anything in this notebook since…like three days ago?”
“Hm?”
“Like, you started off fine, then it turned into, well, normal note-taking. Then my-level notetaking. Then doodles about murdering the Board of Educators. I think. There’s an entire page you colored completely black with pen. How did you do that?”
“Broke the pen,” she explained, disinterestedly. “Smeared ink on the page with a sock.”
“Is that why you were only wearing one the other day?”
“I guess.”
He grimaced and tried to hand her the notebook back, but eventually just balanced it on top of her head, where it remained for the rest of class. It fell off when she rose to leave, but she left it there and shuffled out. Elberich retrieved it and chased after her, pulling towards the shaded table where they usually sat. She stared blankly at the notebook he dangled in front of her.
“You forgot this.”
“Oh…thanks…”
“Alright. We haven’t really spoken since you got back, except for when we went hunting for quantum wards, which actually was really fun, but you’ve had this blank, distant thing going on, so I think it’s time we talk about it.” He had tried before, but she had brushed it aside. He wasn’t going to let that happen again.
“I’m fine, I just – “
“Clearly you’re not. You stopped taking notes. You don’t eat like you used to. Beth can’t hardly get you out of bed anymore; she calls me to do it, and that’s probably going to stop because I need to AT LEAST be in class on time, according to my mother. It’s very unlike you and it isn’t cute anymore, it’s worrying.”
So she told him. It came out slowly, in stops, but she told him everything I told you at the beginning of this section, but I wasn’t going to repeat that because that would just waste everyone’s time forever. When she finished, he let out the breath he found himself holding in a huff.
“Damn. That sucks.”
“Yeah.”
“I suspected about the appeal, but you hadn’t told me yet, so I was trying not to bring it up.”
“I’m sorry, El.” A bit of the old Mara creeped into her voice. “I don’t meant to be all…” she made a motion to include everything she was at the moment. “I just…”
“I get it. Well, maybe not exactly get it, but I can appreciate. I don’t want to be here now I can’t imagine coming back here after going on a real adventure.”
She cocked her head. “I thought you already went on an adventure?”
“Two. Well. Tried to. Master Lehrer took me along, but they both came out as flops. Didn’t actually get to do anything. And even if I had, Lehrer was there and I’m sure that would have been a hoot.” He rolled his eyes.
“Why do you have extra lessons with him?” It was something she had taken for granted for a while now, but him mentioning his outing with Lehrer caused her to remember that in this day and age, Master wizards didn’t typically take on apprentices. No, nowadays, master magi taught.
“Ah, you know how it is. My parents gave a lot of money to the Arcanium and demanded I have a real Master, just like all the Ritters before me. They’re very traditional, you see.”
“And rich, apparently.” She raise her eyebrows at that. “How come that’s never come up?”
He grinned sheepishly. “What? And have a bunch of sycophants around me, hoping to gain favors from the wealthy Ritter family?” He let out a raspberry to show what he thought of that idea. “No thanks.”
“Sycophants? That’s a big word for you.” She stuck her own tongue out at him.
“Bite me.”
“But do you really think people would be more inclined to befriend you if they knew? With your what-passes-for-personality?”
“Oh, ok! It’s Dump on Elberich Day! I see how it is.” He rose in mock anger and made to storm out, barely hiding his grin.
Mara laughed. Really laughed. Laughed for the first time in days. “Sit down, you jerk.”
He sat and laughed a little with her. “Glad to see you’re back to normal. Or close enough anyway.”
“Maybe not normal yet,” she confessed, still grinning. “But better.”
“You’re welcome,” he said, uninvited. “Now, why don’t we go get something to eat?”
“No, I have Mistress Velana’s class next, and she-“
“What time do you think it is, Mar?” He waited for her to whirl and glance at the clock in the middle of the open area. “That ship sailed twenty minutes ago, girl. Let’s eat.” He also had a lecture he should have been at, not Velana’s, but still.
“But…but I’ve never skipped a class intentionally.”
“Well, now you have. Come on. Let’s get some food. I know you haven’t really eaten in a few days, so let’s go raid the dining hall before they clear it out for dinner.”
“You know me far too well.” They rose and walked together, enjoying the afternoon without the usual throng of harried students for once. They joked about their professors and other friends, about their school work, and about their families. It was all familiar territory between them, all ground trodden many times before, but it felt nice – comforting to have Elberich with her. She noted the distance between them, kept her hands from swinging too far towards him, avoided looking at him for too long.
They had been friends for a few years, ever since their first year in the Arcanium. Neither was exactly sure how they became friends, but that was the nature of such things. She had been the one to make the move, to take the step to something more, but it hadn’t worked. Or rather, it hadn’t worked for him. But they stayed friends, even if there was now something awkward between them. He seemed to have moved on, but she hadn’t yet. Her feelings hadn’t disappeared yet. They had lingered for the last few years, despite the knowledge that he didn’t like her like that. She tried to keep at least one person between them when in a group, tried to moderate the amount of time they spent together versus her other friends. It came down to numbers, really, and she liked numbers. Maybe she could force herself to believe the manipulated numbers. Maybe the numbers could hide the truth. But they couldn’t. They numbers never could hide what she really felt.
She suspected he knew. Elberich wasn’t stupid. He had to see the way she held herself around him, how she controlled herself a bit too much. Beth certainly knew, and so did Ellie, Kris, and Marc, who had all, at one time or another, urged her to move on. She wanted to. She really did. But her parents had taught her to follow her heart, and her heart had been trying to push her to Elberich, even as her brain fought desperately to impose reason.
And how could she tell him, anyway? “I know we tried this already, but I still want to try again?” That sounded crazy. As crazy as suffering in silence? Maybe not, but she really wasn’t sure what to do anymore, and the act had become a habit, so she kept it up. She would keep it up as long as she had to.
The Sand-Witch Hut Dining Hall (which was just the absolute highlight of the campus tour, by the way; all the parents chuckled at the simply clever pun) was uncharacteristically empty when they arrived. The food sitting out at the various stations was at least an hour old and lukewarm at best (whether it had begun hot or cold). The kitchen staff hadn’t yet begun clearing it out for the dinner rush, so all of it was fair game. Normally, they would try to limit how much a student took, but with it about to be tossed out anyhow, they really just didn’t care.
They piled their plates with crap that hardly passed as food and found a table at the far end to sit and eat. And she ate a lot. Like, probably an unhealthy amount. But she hadn’t really eaten in a few days, so it was ok, right? Right? Mmm probably not, but hey. We’re not here to judge, man.
It happened while she dug into a pile of macaroni and cheese. A wave of nausea overcame her and her vision blurred. She must have swayed or looked bad because Elberich yelled something at her, but it sounded echoy and far away. The whole dining hall spun and she felt the sensation of falling. Then flying. A blinding flash of light filled her vision, the heated rush of air swept over her, and then stillness. She hovered there in the whiteness for a moment before a humanoid figure came into focus. He seemed to notice her, just for an instant.
“Mara…?”
There was no mistaking that voice. “Jazz, what –“ And then he dissipated and the darkness returned, along with the horrible sensation of falling forever.
When she came to, she was laid out on a cot in the infirmary. Sterile whiteness filled her waking vision, along with the soft flicker of magical lanterns. Normally, one might expect to feel groggy or exhausted after an ordeal, but not Mara. She immediately threw back the sheet, dropped onto the floor and rushed out of there. More than one nurse tried to stop her, but she shoved them off. Elberich was waiting outside but she hardly noticed him in her determined storm.
“What? Mara!” He chased after her. “Are you ok? Should you be up like this?”
“I’m fine, El.”
“Fine? You passed out at lunch! You were out for like two hours, I thought…hey!” He quickened his pace to get in front of her and stop. “What’s going on now?”
“I…” She stopped as well. “I have to go.”
“Go? Go where?”
“Someone needs my help. Someone important.”
“What, like, your parents, or…?”
“No. Kind of. Look, I…El.” She took him by his arm and pulled him along. They didn’t stop until they were at the far end of campus, by the old practice spell fields that no one used anymore because they were too charged with wild magical energy.
“Ok, what’s going on, Mar?”
“I…it really is hard to explain, El, but I have to leave. Someone really important to me is…in a lot of trouble. I saw it, when I passed out.”
He made a face like he was unsure. “You saw…can you scry, Mar?”
“I don’t know. Maybe. It’s the only time it’s happened, I think. But I don’t have time to detail everything about the situation. I have to go.”
Elberich looked as if he had too much to say, so much that he couldn’t quite narrow it down to the important bits. “So you’re just going to…leave.” He paused. “Again.”
“I have to. This time…this time it’s personal, El.”
“I’m coming, too,” he answered at once.
“No. No, this is just for me, El. I can’t…I have to go alone.”
She could tell by his face that he really, really did not like that idea, that he really wanted to come along to protect her. And wow did that make her extremely happy. In any other circumstance, she would have said yes. Screamed it. But not this time. This time would be her and…the others.
“Ok.” He nodded. “Ok. Talking you out of it won’t work, and going along will only make it worse. But Mara, you have to promise to be safe.”
“Ok,” she lied. “I promise.”
“Good. So, how exactly are you leaving?”
It was about an hour later. They had gone back to her room, all thought of attending classes abandoned, and set up the spacefold diagram on the floor. They had to shove everything against the wall and close the blinds, but they were able to just barely fit the magic circle in. The quantum restrictors apparently only put a limit on how much a student herself could perform. Magic circles were power amplifiers, only requiring a bit of energy to start the thaumatic reaction processes.
Elberich eventually learned where she was going anyway by the coordinates they had to inscribe with the rune-stile, but didn’t say anything about it. In fact, he kept pretty silent the whole time, following her instructions without question.
When it was done, and the spacefold began to take shape in her bedroom, she turned to him and said, “I promise, when I come back, I’ll tell you everything.” And she meant everything.
He forced a smile. “Ok. It’s a promise.” He moved his arms awkwardly, seemingly unsure if a handshake or hug was appropriate – so she hugged him tightly. She couldn’t remember ever actually hugging him before, but it felt like the right thing to do at the moment. They shared one final, determined nod before she stepped through the spacefold. He hesitated, thinking that he might go after her after all. But then he smeared the lines with his foot, and the whole array collapsed and vanished without a trace.
Elberich stuck his hands in his pockets, dropped to the bed, and sighed. “Please come back, Mar.”
tl;dr - lol school jokes. Mara is BFFs with Elberich Ritter. Character development. Vision of Jazz's murder - OH NO. So she uses that spacefold thing from the Cassandra Adventure to get to NAACP. |
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Post by Mizagium on Mar 23, 2015 19:14:54 GMT -5
GOLDBEZ RIGHTED HIMSELF FROM THE 69 VERAL-WIDE CRATER WITH A FLOURISH, AND LANDED BEFORE OURAN, LOOKING AS MENACINGLY AMUSED AS HE POSSIBLY COULD.
“SMOKE ME? SMOKE?! LOOK HERE, OURAN HIGH SCHOOL HOST CLUB, HIS ARMOR IS MADE OF GRADE-A DANK SWAMP KUSH. IF YOU TRIED TO SMOKE ME, YOUR FEEBLE LITTLE WEEB LUNGS WOULD FUCKING EXPLODE.”
SATISFIED AT HIS ADMONITION, HE REMOVED HIS LEFT GAUNTLET – REVEALING ANOTHER GAUNTLET – AND SLAPPED OURAN ACROSS THE FACE. “I CHALLENGE YOUR NERD SELF TO AN HONORABLE DUEL OF MANLY MEN…IN TIGHTS.” HE REACHED DOWN AND PRODUCED A PAIR OF SPANDEX HOSE, WHICH HE PULLED UP OVER HIS ARMORED LOWER HALF. SOMEHOW, THE SPANDEX SNAPPED TIGHT AND COMPRESSED THE ARMOR TO SOMETHING LIKE NORMAL LEGS. “TIGHT TIGHTS,” HE FINISHED, HIS VOICE NOTICIBLY HIGHER. THEN HE BACKFLIPPED INTO A TRIPLE SALCHOW.
“EN GUARDE!”
-
Clara Lux landed much more gracefully, her wings of light brushed aside the dust cloud around her. Seeing the assembled House Lords and guest fighters, she slammed Belaneir to the ground and pointed to those gathered. “On the authority of Emperor Awesome, and under the guiding Light of Goddess Seraphina, I, Clara Lux, will knock you all down will burn you all to ash!”
Samuel and Blanche landed a moment later, and charged together. “Save it for the RPG,” Samuel called as he ran past, brandishing Caelia and Luana.” He picked his target at random (Xiffrin) and hurled himself at the Shadow Lord. Blanche disappeared in a burst of dark energy, appearing again behind Xiffrin, kunai slashing down like fangs.
-
“Leon, wait!” But Johnny wasn’t fast enough to stop Leon from sending the Masamune’s energy burst at Lolandas, so he reacted instinctively. The Masamune was one of the strongest magical blades every created, only surpassed by Excalibob and Hystoger, so there wasn’t very much one could do to block a blast of light from it. Only one thing could stop the Masamune: another Masamune. Of course, that was technically impossible, but ‘technically’ was not the same thing as ‘absolutely’ and that marginal difference might as well have been an open invitation to a no-holds barred orgy in Sexy Land (which I don’t recommend attending, BTW).
Johnny caught the light with Masamune. Of course, it was not ‘the’ Masamune, but neither was it ‘a’ Masamune’. There was only one Masamune, and currently, Leon possessed it. The sword Johnny wielded came from the Infinite Sword Plain, technically a copy. And of course, the original was always a better sword – if he and Leon went toe-to-toe, Johnny’s sword would lose – but it functioned almost identically. Differences in performance or makeup would only become apparent in long, drawn-out fights.
After a few moments of struggling with the light, it was absorbed into the fauxMasamune, and Johnny sent it back to the ISP a moment later. He wasn’t sure if all that absorbed energy would backfire or what, so he simply did away with it, unwilling to find out just yet.
“Wait, Leon. I have questions I need to ask her.”
Cassandra scoffed. “Johnny. Don’t be - “
“She’s not going to do anything.” He glared at Lolandas. “Are you?” He summoned the a Masamune copy back into his hands. “You know how badly that will go for you. One Masamune is bad enough. But I can called as many as I need and they will all be just as strong.” He waited for Lolandas to nod. “And you saw what I can do with Darkness. I’m willing to bet that I can stop you from shadowstepping out of here. Are you?”
Lolandas Raymar looked from Johnny, to Leon, and to Cassandra. “It seems I am caught. Very well. Ask me anything you wish.” She stepped back, created an armchair from solid shadows, and reclined in it. “No secrets.”
Johnny hesitated. He had a lot of questions and it was hard to focus on just one. As well, he hadn’t actually expected he’d get this far. “Alright…why are you so intent on me? Why am I supposed to be Xavian’s new host or whatever? Aren’t there other, more darknessy people than I?”
Lolandas made a face like she considered the question. “Then let me ask you one before I answer – isn’t Darkness part of your repertoire? Are you not capable of controlled large quantities of Darkness? Darkness infused with the essence of Xavian himself?” When Johnny didn’t answer, she continued. “You were chosen because of what you are. You were chosen long ago.”
“What I am?”
“Yes. But that’s the question you wanted to ask originally, isn’t it? ‘What am I?’ Something happened to you recently that’s called your very existence into question.”
“How did…?”
“Because it was inevitable.”
Johnny snarled and pointed the tip of Masamune in Lolandas’ unflappable face. “We’re not in the mood for cryptic crap today. What. Am. I.”
The slightest of smiles crossed her face. “A Mimic.”
He was prepared for that. “Very well. What is a Mimic?”
“Already knew about the Mimic, did you? But I suppose that’s why we’re even having this discussion.” She paused a minute to push the sword out of her face. “My apologies if this isn’t a quick explanation. Mimics are aberrations in the world. No, you are not the first, nor will you be the last. Mimics are spawn from raw creation whenever the world comes close to…overloading is a near enough word. I’m sure you’re aware of how unrestricted this world is. Normally there are no problems, but because of that, because personal strength is only limited by personal willpower, excess energy builds up. If too much accumulates, the world – the universe, I should say – could tear itself apart. The same if too little. Mimics exist to correct this. I’ve heard a few stories. Some say they are from Seraphina herself, others Delmerith. Even a few say that the Dragons of Serioc visited this world and saved it from destruction eons ago. I don’t know which is true, nor do I really care. But the fact is Mimics come into being to soak up all that wild, excess energy. That’s why they’re called Mimics. They take on the form of those around them, adapt to the environment they are immersed in.”
“So I’m…like a failsafe for the world?”
“In so many words. Which means, as I’m sure you’ve figured out, you aren’t your parents’ son. You weren’t born to human parents.” She paused for a minute. “Ah. I see you’ve learned patience. Normally, this is the part where you hero types interrupt and demand something.” She grinned as he swung Masamune back to her face. “Oh, do put that away. Men always like to swing their swords around.
“Now, where was I? Ah yes. You and your sister were born…spawned into the world some years ago. I don’t know how old you are. Nineteen? Something like that. My predecessor, the previous Bride of Xavian wanted to make you the perfect host for the Him by immersing you completely in Darkness from birth. But she was ambitious. When Really Cool Land was invaded, she rose up with her fledgling cult to take advantage of the chaos. Unfortunately, she was defeated, and you were picked up by the royal family. And the rest is history.”
Johnny spoke slowly, sorting out his questions. “Why…don’t I remember this?”
“Memory alteration is just one of many practical applications of Time Magic, you see. I imagine the previous Time Keeper was concerned you might develop into another Xavian, so he was more than willing to tamper with your head. I also imagine that’s why he stuck around as he did. A shame your influence drove him over the edge.” She grinned nastily.
“You said…sister. Is Sarah a Mimic, too?”
“Oh, of course not. She’s older than you, isn’t she? They tampered with her memories as well.”
“Then…who…?”
“It should have been me!” Giana appeared off to the side. “I never left the order! I served Xavian – and you – faithfully for my whole life! But He picked him!” She pointed an accusatory dagger at Johnny. “The prodigal son over the faithful daughter.”
Lolandas sighed, as if she was rehashing an old argument. “You were too faithful, Giana. Too willing to follow orders. Too limited. Honestly, if we had maintained a hold on Johnny like we did you, he might not have even been a good candidate either. Johnny’s adventures have given him an improbably amount of powers and abilities. He is the most adaptable Mimic I’ve ever heard of.”
“But I’m the same as him! We were born at the same time! I’m just as adaptable as he is!”
“And yet, here you are!” Lolandas fixed her servant with a hard stare. “Faithful and full of potential, yes, but rigid and unwilling to adapt. You are a Mimic in name only, Giana, and I no longer have confidence in you.”
Giana was literally shaking with rage at that point. “It should have been me,” she whispered.
“Go home, Giana,” Lolandas commanded. “You are no longer needed.”
But Giana failed to obey for the first time in her life. She leapt at Lolandas, daggers out. Lolandas was so surprised that Giana was actually able to catch her off guard. They went down together, Giana screaming with rage, striking her mistress with her blades again and again. Nobody could do anything but watch. When it was over, as Lolandas lay motionless on the floor, Giana chuckled softly to herself.
“Do you know what happens to Mimics, Johnny?” She spoke calmly. Softly. “What happens to us once we’ve taken in more energy than we can hold?” She was rifling through Lolandas’ robes for something. “We disappear. Did you know that? We’re just sponges for the world. We soak up all the excess and then – poof! – we’re not needed anymore. Isn’t that sad?” She stood suddenly and faced him.
Johnny had Masamune lowered, unsure of the situation. Disappear? Was that related to his exhaustion since the Time Eater? Ever since then, he’d felt like his body was full of cracks, like it was about to fall apart. But he had convinced himself it was just residual energy from the Endstone. Maybe it wasn’t, though. Maybe his body was finally reaching capacity.
“But I don’t want to disappear. I don’t want to be useless anymore.” Her face contorted into a hateful sneer. “I want what you stole!” And she charged at him. As with Lolandas, Johnny was unprepared. Giana thrust out an arm and he saw – not a dagger – but something jagged, like rough-cut glass. When it struck his chest, it pierced him, but didn’t draw blood.
He felt those cracks pulsate, felt whatever the jagged glass was dig deep into his being. It seemed to amplify the pulsations. Johnny cried out. His whole body felt like it was tearing itself apart. The world blurred and time seemed to drag on as pain overtook him. He tried to retreat within himself, down into that hidden place where he could touch all of his powers…but even that was no refuge. It seemed as if all of his abilities were dark, falling away from him. One by one, they fell away into an endless pit, and he was left alone.
In the real world, the cracks became visible on his body only for a few moments. And then a series of colored lights erupted from his back. Red, blue, clear, brown, yellow, green, gray, indigo, wenge, falu, and then can two multicolored lights. One was a mixture of crimson, silver, and white, and other a bright green, gold, and black. They lingered in the air for a moment before scattering, and disappearing out through the walls. Johnny’s world went dark.
And so did his body. A thick darkness filled in the cracks and seemed to seep out of him like smoke. The sclera of his eyes became black as pitch, and the irises a burnished gold. He snapped one hand to Giana’s and pulled her away from his chest, jagged glass and all.
“You’ve done well, daughter of darkness,” he said in a voice that did not belong to him. “But I marked this boy long ago.” He flung her away from him, back into the ball pit. Dark Johnny regarded the fallen Lolandas with something like disgust. “How pitiful. Perhaps I chose hastily.” The Blackblade and Nocturne hovered up to his awaiting hands. “It is no matter.”
The cloud of darkness that lingered in the room returned and surrounded Dark Johnny again. “Freeing myself from that prison was such a hassle,” he muttered over the low hum of the spinning blackness. “Whoever designed a biological lock system like that deserves first a medal, and then a hanging.”
Dark Johnny finally looked at Leon and Cassandra. “Rejoice, mortals. I have no need to have anything to do with you two. And I suppose you’ll want your boyfriend back.” Dark Johnny shuddered, and then a thick black smoke poured out of his mouth and joined the swirling madness. The Blackblade and the Nocturne dissipated and joined the cloud, as well. And just like that, the Xavian cloud spirited away, shouting something about Zais, leaving the limp form of Johnny Mambutoo O’Malley to flop to the floor unceremoniously.
“Johnny!” Cassandra caught him an instant before he hit the ground and cradled his body in her arms. “He’s alive…I think. Leon! Can you take us back to the Palace? Veritaz might know what to do.” She was very clearly on the verge of panicking. “Please!”
-
Uggo tapped his facemask impatiently. “Tell me you at least have a decent supply of Omnilium, Unobgassium, and Diamondium.”
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Post by Monika on Mar 27, 2015 20:41:46 GMT -5
Rocks. Rubble. Corpses. Everything in a 30 veral radius not firmly attached to the ground was bouncing up and down sporadically. Those things that were fixed to the ground began to tremble as an unseen force swept over them. Galro glanced up from his magazine and observed that this applied to the floating continent of Super Land as well. Even from his position, he could tell that the country was shaking, as if in fear.
"Galro," Scern said, squirming in his metal chair. "Does it feel...heavier to you?"
"I think Ms. Artemis might be just a little upset," Galro answered, trying (and barely managing) to maintain a calm tone. Legitimately upset. As much as I hate to admit it, Scern was right on two counts. She can get angry, and I don't want to be here while it's happening. I should approach with caution. Clearing his throat, Galro threw his magazine to the ground and pushed himself to his feet. "You really should relax, Artemis."
Artemis gave him a look. Her expression was deceptively calm, not betraying the raging storm that lay beneath. "I just relaxed for two hours, as your Water senses have told you. This is the result of my negligence." She unclenched her fists and spread her arms, indicating the disaster around her.
"You can hardly be blamed for all this," Galro scoffed, dismissing the scene with a hand wave. "Have you considered taking the Chaotic Neutral approach to being an Immortal? Works for the rest of us just fine. Be a little more go-with-the-flow, like water." He demonstrated his point by melting his icy chair and coiling the stream around him.
"Absurd." There was no delay in the response. "How could I, after being granted this power, possess such a lackadaisical attitude?!" Her fists tightened and her nails dug deeper into her palms. The bouncing and trembling of the debris grew increasingly violent.
"Ugh, come here. The sight of your blood is giving me ideas." Galro flexed his fingers and Artemis suddenly found herself walking toward the Immortal of Water against her will. When he noticed her eyes starting to glow, he casually said, "Relax," and wrapped the stream of water around her hands. "I don't drink from the same girl twice. Usually." Shortly afterwards, Artemis' hands were forced open and the wounds on her palms began to heal.
"To be fair, they don't typically survive after that..." Scern interjected.
Galro glared at his comrade before turning his attention back to Artemis. "You'll find life rather difficult if you try to fix all of this world's problems alone."
"Well it's not like I have decent help!" she snapped back.
"That isn't very nice," Galro muttered, doing his best to look hurt by the remark. Once he noticed Artemis' hands were healed, he refroze the stream of water into an icy chair beneath him. "Regardless of what you decide, it would be best to collect yourself first. You won't be able to do anything until then."
For a long moment, Artemis just stood there, staring at both Galro and Scern with her usual unreadable expression. She finally relented and exhaled deeply. The corpses and rubble fell back to the ground where they belonged, and the widespread trembling stopped at once. Super Land looked less like an impending fall hazard and more like a normal floating island. Then, Artemis did something she hadn't done in a very long time. She levitated above the ground, crossed her legs, closed her eyes, and began to meditate.
Galro is right. I need to think through this. My selfishness and irresponsibility cost this country too much property and too many lives. If I am to minimize any more destruction, I have to stay calm. There is a 65% chance that I will cause more damage if I attempt any action without first composing myself.
Artemis took a deep breath and continued to analyze the situation.
Sark is responsible for this attack. That is self-evident. He most likely wants to lure the Immortals here to avoid expending the time and effort necessary to track them individually. She frowned, her eyes still closed. Peculiar. After assessing my power and fleeing our battle, it is unlikely that he wants a confrontation so soon after his narrowly avoided defeat. I estimate a 17% chance of that, at most. Why, then? His attack could be intended to trap us, but he knows that such a trap's chance of success is negligible.
She shook her head and turned it toward the location from which the Anti-Zais faction had departed, according to Scern and Galro. For now, Sark's bizarre actions must be classified as senseless attention seeking. Currently, Zais is the more pertinent threat, as proven by his own actions and as specified by Emperor Awesome. It appears that a considerable number of people have already gone to fight him. Without their identities, I cannot estimate their strength. It is probable that any subordinates Zais sends can be handled by the group. Knox, at least, should be able to deal with Zais himself. There are several unknown variables for this situation, but I should be able to assume that the added value of my presence will be minimal.
With another deep breath, Artemis focused back on the mess that was Awesome Land's capital. Her eyes, still closed, seemed to dart back and forth between destroyed buildings and injured townspeople. My best option, then, would be to contain the damage here in Dynasty City. Tend to the wounded, eliminate environmental hazards, and begin preparations for property repair. This shall come after assessing the status of my first priorities. It will be a daunting task to take on alone, but it is the job for which I was hired. As far as I know, Homeland Security is a one-woman department.
She finally descended back to the ground and opened her eyes. "Scern, do you have the ability to sense the presence of your element like Galro?"
Scern beamed, overjoyed to see Artemis back to her usual, unemotional self. "Sure do! Not gonna let Wet Blanket here be better than me. I am the rock star, after all. He's just the backup guitar."
"I swear, Scern, if you call me that one more-"
"Please use your powers to scan for any irregularities around the city. It is possible that Sark planted more explosives here," Artemis explained. "No cleanup efforts can begin until I can ascertain that the city is safe."
"You got it, boss!" Scern nodded in compliance and ran off, pulling suspicious bits of metal from the ground along the way.
"Galro," she continued, "What is the extent of the water-based healing powers you just used on my hands?"
"Hm? Oh, that little trick? Picked it up from some cartoon Scern made me watch. Never thought it would actually come in handy." Galro thought for a moment and answered, "Most minor wounds and burns I can heal, and I can stop bleeding entirely as well. I can probably prevent more serious injuries from getting worse, but healing them completely is beyond my expertise."
"I see. Can your blood-based abilities differentiate between the living and the deceased?"
"Hmph. I'm almost insulted. I would be a terrible Immortal if I couldn't tell the difference between flowing blood and stagnant blood. That's child's play."
Artemis nodded. "Please search for survivors of the attacks and administer first aid immediately. There is a hospital near the northern edge of Dynasty City that you can escort them to after that."
Galro scoffed again. "Anything to placate our lovely Immortal of Space." He followed Scern's example seconds later, homing in on the living and barely-living.
Once Artemis was alone, she closed her eyes again and muttered, "Telepathy!", focusing on Knox's energy signature. 'This technique is considerably more difficult to use at long ranges, but I hope this message reaches you. Knox, I have been alerted that a party has already gone to attack Zais. If you are among them, please give me a report concerning the status of this mission. What is your exact location in relation to Dynasty City, and is my assistance needed at the battle site? There is a considerable amount of clean up work to do here, but I will teleport to you immediately if my presence will significantly increase the chance of mission success.'
As she waited for the response, she surveyed the land around her, feeling just slightly better about the situation. Just stay calm, Artemis. You can do this...
"Hmm." Leon frowned at the cloud of darkness and sheathed his katana once it dissipated completely. "That probably won't end well..." He shrugged. "Not my problem." He then turned to a rather distraught-looking Cassandra holding a rather unconscious-looking Johnny. "Ah, right. The palace. Just a second, Cassie. You mind if I call you that? Of course you don't." Leon gave the girl a consoling pat on the shoulder before shouting into the next room (which wasn't really its own 'room' now, since the walls separating it were gone) "Max! Hey, Max!"
"...Y-yes, Mr. Veralice?" The president of Omnistar, Inc. answered in a harried, manic tone.
"Do we have insurance on this place?"
There was a brief pause. "...No, Mr. Veralice. When the agency found out who the owner was, they refused to insure the building for anything less than 25,000,000 Verabucks a year. As per your policy, I denied the option so as to maximize profitability." Another pause. "Did I make a mistake, sir?"
Leon shook his head and snapped his fingers, summoning a portal in front of him. "As I thought," he sighed. "You did the right thing, Max. There's no way we could stay in business at that kind of cost. Oh well. I'll get the money from another source. I'll call you when I've figured it out. Keep the guests fed while I'm gone, alright?"
"But sir, there's no kitchen..."
"Be creative, Max." Ending the conversation there, Leon took Johnny from Cassandra's arms and said, "Since Mrs. Xavian is gone, I'm holding you liable for these damages, Johnny. You owe me. A lot. When you come to, be prepared to have that conversation with your parents."
With a slight nod to Cassandra, he stepped through the portal and appeared right in front of Veritaz in the escape tunnels under Really Cool Land. A frustrated looking Amelia Oscura wasn't too far from them, escorting more citizens to relative safety.
"I mean this in the nicest way, but you're a pretty mediocre ninja if someone can just warp to your location like this. But that's neither here nor there. As you can see, Mr. Prince here isn't in the best shape. He was stabbed and then there was some Xavian possessing. And then some colors flew out of him. And he had a pretty convincing copy of my katana, too. That's modern day Leon's trademark weapon, you know. Now that I think about it, I could probably sue him for infringement. Diluting my brand with his cheap imitations." He laughed, though it was devoid of any real joy. "But I'll hold off on all that. Cassandra thinks you can help him out." His expression became just slightly more serious. "So, can you?"
"We possess large quantities of omnilium in our storeroom. Diamondium is a bit shorter in supply, but it should be enough for your needs," Alastor answered. He scrunched up his face in thought as he considered the third element. "The last one, however, unobgassium is-"
"Right here!" Eva pushed aside another scientist and jumped up and down in front of Captain Uggo. She held her coffee stained labcoat open, revealing an uncountable number of sealed vials. "Impressive, right? Right?" She grinned.
"Evangeline, why do you ha-"
"I like collecting cool elements! Unobgassium is number 123 on the periodic table, and 123 is one of my favorite numbers! Isn't it awesome?"
Alastor sighed. "Well, there you have it. We have a large supply of each of the three elements. Hopefully this will suffice."
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Post by Mizagium on Mar 30, 2015 22:00:02 GMT -5
but I will teleport to you immediately if my presence will significantly increase the chance of mission success.'
Knox hastened to the front of the ship and stared down at the unfolding chaos. Boy would he love someone else responsible to take charge of the situation right then. Nothing was going the way he had hoped it would. Somehow, he had imagined the Darkness Immortal changeover would go smoothly, but now, as he assessed the situation, he deduced that he must have been on all the drugs forever to dream of anything going easy. What the hell was wrong with him?
I wanted things to be different, he thought, unware that it bled over the telepathic link. I wanted the Immortals to come together and work together. I thought if we all finally met each other at the same time, we might realize…something. A kinship. A responsibility. Anything. But the first thing we did was turn on one of our own and now…now Dynasty City is a warzone. And the thing is, I don’t think it was the wrong choice, either.
He sighed and stepped back towards the passenger seats. Maybe I was naïve. I guess I thought everyone felt the same as I did. But I was wrong. People aren’t going to stand up and hold hands and be friends just because we’re all Immortals. If I want peace then I have to make peace myself.
Knox balled up his fists and set his jaw. Artemis. I don’t need you to come here yet. If there’s anything I’ve learned about situations like this, it’s that it’s going to get worse before it gets better. A lot worse. Even if you came over here, it would continue to get worse, so you should finish up where you are. Although…There are a lot of people down there, Artemis. We’re at Zais’ Dark Fortress. Above it, actually. We teamed up with a space crew. It’s complicated. My point is, there’s still a lot of civilians down there and while they may not be particularly concerned right now, they’re going to get caught in the crossfire, and like I said, it’s going to get worse. Is there something we can do to get them out of there? Between myself and everyone back at the Clock Tower, we can fix any damage to the city itself, but we can’t bring the dead back to life.
He thought for a moment. Can we warp them somewhere safe? Super Land perhaps? I don’t…I hope that isn’t asking too much, isn’t pushing your powers too far. If it is, I’ll figure it out somehow.
-
“Unfortunately,” Vertiaz said, examining Johnny, “while the Thundercougerfalconbird Clan are top-notch ninjas, I’m afraid we’ve grown a bit complacent. Further, we aren’t used to dealing with people such as yourself, who can just appear places without warning.”
He frowned, still looking over the boy. “When this is all settled, it seems I’ll have to increase security and training. Have you ever considered becoming an independent security consultant? I might just be your first customer. But there’s time for that later. Let’s get Johnny to the infirmary wing.” Instead of heading along the tunnels with the evacuation, he turned and headed back towards the Palace, indicating Leon to follow.
“If Johnny is like this,” he explained, “then the Palace shouldn’t be in any more danger from Xavian or his goons. It seems he got what he wanted.” When they emerged from the secret tunnel in the foyer, Randolph took the opportunity to appear from within a grandfather clock, evidently a secret tunnel within the secret tunnel.
“Surprise, we’ve been here the whole time!”
Francine shoved past him. “Honestly, Randy. What’s even the point of the ‘Double-Secret Escape Tunnel’ if we just end up right back here?”
“They’ll never see it coming,” he announced proudly. Then the royals spied their unconscious son. “What’s going on here?”
Cassandra arrived a moment later, using that same light-travel ability as before. “It was that Lolandas woman, she…Xavian…” She wasn’t quite ready to tell them that she knew everything about Johnny; she hoped Leon picked up on that, or at least had the grace not to reveal anything just yet.
“To the infirmary, then,” Francine said, echoing Vertiaz’s earlier sentiments, and the four of them, presumably plus Leon, hastened to the far end of the Palace.
Meanwhile, Ollie and Roewk had pretty much been ignored for the whole time. “Oh. Alright, then. How about that, Woody? Guess that plot resolved itself.” She sniffed irritably and glanced around as blurs of ninjas replaces the shattered windows and set the Palace to rights once more. “Guess we should probably get back to the main event, huh?”
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Post by Myrdraxxis on Apr 6, 2015 23:40:31 GMT -5
There was a notable silence as the House Lords (Ouran in particular) processed GOLDBEZ's challenge. Dedrick broke the silence first, turning to his fellow House Lord.
"Awwww sheeit, son. You gonna take that from him?" The warrior jeered with rather exaggerated hand motions.
"Dedrick!" Faelin frowned at him. Dedrick shrugged.
'What? We all knew this was just going to turn into a series of one-on-one duels anyway." At this point Ouran recovered his wits and...began to chuckle. A chuckle that quickly became a guffaw. Which became a cackle, escalating up at least three more levels of laughter and becoming a full on peal.
"A challenge is it?" Ouran grinned widely. "Very well! I accept you challenge!" He pointed dramatically at GOLDBEZ's. With a cry of effor the dark armor that covered his form began to writhe and change shape until was skin tight, showing off all of his bulging...bulgy-ness.
"Oh my." The only female House Lord said.
"Have at thee!" Ouran raised his hands into fisticuff position. He launched a beautifully choreographed right hook at GOLDBEZ's face.
"Well...I guess we should get started as well." Taler said. The rest of Havoc Squad formed up behind him-'Wait hang on, where's Gree?" Taler looked around. "Is he still on the ship?"
"I think he-OH SHIT!" Vin was cut off as he jumped out of the way. House Lord Xiffrin appeared half-a second later, his shadowblade sword right where Vin's head had been.
"You've gotten better, Vin." The Lord of the Shadow Hunters noted idly.
"Guess our opponent came to us." Corr drew a really overly ornate battleaxe from somewhere.
"You have a lot of confidence for mere soldiers." Xiffrin stated.
"We're a lot more than that now." Vin declared, drawing his own blades.
"Well....we're at least a little more than that now." Taler corrected. Xiffrin stared blankly at him for a moment, then disappeared from view. He reappeared right in front of the sergeant. "Oh shi-" Taler gasped as the blade struck him in the side. Ignoring the starrtled cries of the other two Havocs Taler grinned wildly. "'s that all?." Taler punched Xiffrin in the face, making the Lord stagger back. "I've had worse htis than that from inanimate objects yoU NOOBFAG PIECE OF SHIT!" And so Taler gave himself over to his newfound darker side, a berserker rage only known the Nordic vikings of old, and teenage xbox live players.
Further away Dace and Sindri were facing off against Faelin. The House Lord stared at Sindri almost sadly. "I wish it didn't have to come to this, Sindri."
"It is regrettable." Sindri nodded. "But I've made my decision." Faelin nodded and looked at Dace.
"And what of you, 'Daren'?" She used the name Dace had disguised himself with during their "adventure" to Umbra Isla's past. Dace blinked. He hadn't figured any of the people he met there would have remembered him, especially after the Darkness had warped them all into Shadows.
"I was set on this from the very beginning." He stated. "Nothing's changed."
Faelin sighed. "Then so be it." With that said the mage Lord fired a very sudden wave of lighting at the pair.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Shields are holding, sir."
"The enemy ship is still firing. Returning fire at grids 183 through-"
"Engineering is reporting that the reacotr is holding stable."
"What do you mean Kole is stuck in the water slide? Well get him out before-"
The bridge of the Underboob was a mess of activity as officers at their stations reported activities and responded. Neero was proud of them. He didn't hold them (or himself) to very high standards, but it was nice to see that they could still perform their duties to the letter given that.
"Uh..sir?" A call from a nearby officer drew the captain's attention. Neero strode over.
"What's up?"
"There's uh...someone jumping towards us." the officer said. Neero blinked at him, then looked up through the viewport. Sure enough, someone had begun conjuring barriers and was using them to hop through the air towards the Underboob.
"How very...unconventional." Neero said.
"What should we do?" The officer asked. Neero glanced over his shoulder. Zais had left the bridge, deciding to hit the food court for a little while. Which meant everything here was up to him.
"Well, shoot him out of the sky. All forward cannons lock on and fire!"
"Aye sir. Firing!"
The front cannons of the Underboob swerved and locked onto Cozaltene and opened fire.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I suppose." Roewk sighed, ignoring Ollie's nickname for him. He'd heard worse from Noores. Actually, now that he thought about it, he reeeallly didn't want his electric friend and Ollie talking. Roewk wasn't sure he would survive the headache.
"I'm a little pissed that we didn't do anything....and honestly I'm not sure I want to go back to the other Immortals yet. I'm already finding a few of them distasteful." he frowned slightly. "Still, I suppose we could go clean up what's left of Zais' forces in Dynasty City. Unless you have another idea?" He posed the question to Ollie.
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Post by Mizagium on Apr 9, 2015 16:33:21 GMT -5
“What, don’t ignore me!” Blanche shouted after Xiffrin, who had apparently not noticed her or Samuel’s attempts to start a fight. She shook her fist angrily at the Show Lord as he began his fight with Havoc Squad. “What makes them so special?”
Samuel sniffed. “Well there’s like four or five of them. Maybe he thinks they’re a better challenge?”
“What? We’re plenty challenge.”
Sam snorted at her before saying, “What about him?” He pointed at Dedrick. “He doesn’t have an opponent yet.”
“What is this, fizzing ninja school dodgeblade?”
“I literally don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Never mind.” She grabbed his arm and shadowstepped over towards Dedrick. “Hey you. You’re not going to run off and ignore us like that other guy, are you?” She pointed an accusing finger at Dedrick.
“What she means to say,” Samuel snapped, tearing away from Blanche. “Is that we’re fighting you now.” He drew his swords in challenge.
-
Meanwhile, Clara Lux was also suffering the indignity of being ignored. Despite her grand entrance and her heroic challenge, not one of the Shadow House Lords had even really acknowledged her. Which…she supposed that was a minor issue. But still, it stung. Seeing her curious allies choose their fights, she sighed, gathered up her dignity, and stalked over to the closest one without an opponent: Hyltir.
“Do I need to reiterate my challenge?” she demanded. “Or do you know where I’m going with this?”
-
Ollie shrugged and stuffer her hands into pockets. “Man, I dunno. We could go get some lunch. I haven’t had anything to eat since like page 30 of ALR and I’m starving. There’s a decent burger joint in Metro City I know.”
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Post by Monika on Apr 11, 2015 18:28:44 GMT -5
Artemis' eyes widened in a moment of genuine surprise as she listened to Knox's thoughts. Quickly regaining her composure, she mentally replied, ' Leave it to me. Good luck, Knox.' As she disabled the telepathic link between them, an uncharacteristic smile crossed her face. It stayed there for several minutes, until a certain duo came into view. Galro and Scern returned to her location mere moments later, the former instantly picking up on the shift in Artemis' mood. "Oh, now there's a rare sight," Galro chuckled as he approached her. "A rare sight indeed. It's a shame I didn't bring my camera." He contorted his face into the most pitiful pout he could muster, going as far as to force a few tears from his eyes. "What are you talking about?" Artemis demanded, though she found herself returning the pout with a smirk instead of her usual expressionless stare. "You were practically grinning ear to ear. What on earth could possibly have you so cheerful?" "Responsibility," she answered. "Hmph." Galro shook his head and sighed in exasperation. "You would take joy in something so dull. But do you see what happens when you take my advice, Artemis? You've calmed down, you've thought of a plan, and you're even smiling!" He laughed again, this time more heartily. "I am truly a fountain of wisdom." "You're a fountain of something, alright," Scern chimed in. Ignoring him, Galro went on. "If you'd like, Artemis, I would be happy to teach you some more. I certainly wouldn't mind giving you a few one-on-one private lessons..." "I'll pass." Her reply came instantly. "Suit yourself. The offer will be there when you change your mind." He shrugged indifferently, conjuring up another icy chair to sit on. "In any case, you'll be pleased to know that I have escorted the most critically wounded to the hospital at the edge of town, and have stabilized their conditions to the extent my powers will allow. They should be far enough away and stable enough to avoid any immediate danger, at least." "And I've scoured the entire city for traps!" Scern added triumphantly. A hand motion later, a large metal cabinet was in front of him, and it opened to reveal an array of various bits of metal and suspicious looking devices. "I just pulled anything out of the ground that looked explodey or bladey or killy and stuffed it in here!" He knocked on the top of the cabinet a few times and grinned. "Solid titanium!" "Thank you both." Artemis nodded at the two and returned her focus to the surrounding area. "There is still work to be done, however. I have learned that the battle against Zais is taking place above his fortress, which itself is above the Second Imperial Tower. Even with the city secured, there is still a significant risk of the citizens here getting caught in the crossfire and suffering considerable injury." "I hope you don't expect me to do anything about it," Galro said. "One can only be your lackey for so long before it gets old. Besides, aren't you the Immortal of Space? Can you not just teleport them all to a safe location?" "I could teleport each of them individually to Super Land with ease. Teleporting the entire city's population at once would be more difficult, but still manageable. However, my power is not the issue. How would you feel, Galro, if you were suddenly warped onto an abandoned island thousands of meters above your home?" "I would immediately go skydiving!" Scern gestured toward himself, indicating his metallic jacket. "This thing doubles as a parachute, you know!" Galro rolled his eyes. "Those of us who aren't complete dolts would probably be a little upset. Frightened, even. But you never struck me as the type who really cared about how people felt, Artemis. And I could probably cite three examples from just our council meeting to prove it, too." If the words were meant to be an insult, they didn't register with Artemis, who continued with her explanation without a hint of annoyance. "That aside, teleporting them all without warning would be counterproductive. As you said, most people would be frightened after being taken from their homes and sent into the sky. Fear leads to panic. Panic leads to violence. Violence leads to death, which is what I aim to prevent." "Seems logical to me," Scern replied, nodding in agreement. "Stuff you say usually is. But can't you just...I dunno, use your Space powers to increase the range of your voice? Warn everybody in the city that way? Like you did before when you were shouting for Zais!" Galro shuddered and delicately rubbed his temples. "I still haven't erased that image from my memory..." "That would not resolve the issue," Artemis began. "I was only recently appointed to the position of Minister of Homeland Security. Outside of those closely involved in C.O.M.A.S., very few people in this country have any idea who I am. Hearing an unknown voice ordering them to evacuate from a threat that they cannot see to a place they have never been will at best inspire apathy. At worst, it will cause widespread panic even more quickly." She rose into the air to better examine the city, counting out each residence on her fingers. "Man, I wish I was the Immortal of Space," Scern lamented, gazing up at Artemis in awe. "Being able to float around like that must be pretty cool." "While I am content with my own powers, I have to agree." Galro melted his chair, refroze it into a bed, and got into a more comfortable position. "I can turn into a rain cloud and travel the skies that way, but altering my physical form is such a bother. Tell me, Artemis. Can you fly?" he asked. " Fly fly, that is." "Levitation is the extent of my abilities. It functions through local suspension of the gravitational field between me and the Earth. Gravity manipulation extends only to vertical acceleration, whereas true flight requires horizontal motion across multiple axes." Her words seemed robotic and automated, and it was clear that she was not paying any attention to their conversation. I would need to visit all of these houses in person, explain the situation, and then teleport them to safety. But that would take far too long, and I can't be everywhere at once, outside of Eigenspace... she thought. "Hmm, levitation is still pretty cool," Scern noted. "Actual flight would be cooler, though. Of course, I can already predict her next response. 'True flight is inefficient. If I need to travel from Point A to Point B, I can do so through teleportation.'" Galro's impression of Artemis' voice was eerily accurate. "To which I would reply, 'But Artemis, that simply isn't fun. Don't you ever dream of freely soaring through the skies? Feeling the wind rushing through your hair as you look down upon the land from above?' And then her answer would be a simple 'no' and the conversation would end there. Does that about sum it up, Artemis?" He looked up at her, only half-expecting a response. But Artemis ignored the question entirely, too focused on the task at hand. And even if I could be everywhere at once, I doubt I am personable enough to convince each person in Dynasty City to come with me to Super Land. I need more people with better interpersonal communication skills to deliver the message... With a heavy sigh, she descended to the ground and opened up a portal to her extradimensional closet, retrieving a C.O.M.A.S. branded cell phone and a single business card...
"Damn it, Asher! I swear to Seraphina I said don't come back here!" The young ex-C.O.M.A.S. mage hadn't even made it to the porch steps before his father threw open the front door and launched a scathing tirade. Asher wasn't the type to come unprepared, however, and used his box of possessions to shield himself from the brunt of the verbal assault. "Are you fizzing serious right now? Really? REALLY?!" Asher's dad was by far one of the most intimidating father figures in the country. He had the physique of a man who been doing heavy manual labor since birth, the beard of a man who didn't believe in shaving, and the force of his words was almost enough to knock Asher to the ground. Of all the things you could have given him, Mom... Asher recognized this as the effect of the Scold Charm, a pendant his mom had given to his dad as a last minute gift after nearly forgetting Father's Day. Unlike ties or cheap razors, this present proved to be legitimately useful. Through some magic or another, it made his words palpable, and their strength increased as he grew angrier. Asher knew that trying to reason with his father at this point in time was futile at best, so he sought comfort by exchanging a look with his mother. Asher's mother stood behind his father, seemingly oblivious to the situation at hand. She was waving her hands wildly at Asher and had a huge grin on her face. This was Mariana Blackden, the ultimate form of all housewives and soccer moms, and she truly thought her little boy could do no wrong. "YOU ARE TWENTY-FOUR YEARS OLD, ASHER!" his father shouted. The pendant around his neck glistened brightly in the moonlight. "YOU ARE A GROWN MAN! HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO CLEAN YOUR MOTHER'S PIPES IF I'VE GOT ANOTHER GROWN MAN LIVING HERE?" "Oh, yes. Your father does have to clean my pipes," Mariana replied, nodding enthusiastically to her husband's words. "But I think you're being too hard on him, Spike." Spencer Blackden, better known as "Spike" because of his particularly menacing hairdo, didn't even look to his wife, keeping all of his rage focused on his son. "TOO HARD ON HIM, MARY? TOO HARD ON HIM? THE BOY'S TWENTY-FOUR! HE'S GOT NO CAR, NO JOB, AND NO GIRL! HE'S A FAILURE AS A MAN!" "Hey!" The last remark was enough to get Asher to speak up. "I do have a girl, Dad! Her name is-" "I WILL KNOCK YOU THE HELL OUT IF YOU SAY 'ARTEMIS', ASHER!" Spike's words weren't untrue, and his speech actually managed to push Asher a few feet back. "Your mother made me sit in on those damn C.O.M.A.S. meetings, and that broad wouldn't give you the time of day! I'd bet you five hundred Verabucks that she's asexual! But you know what? You can't even make that bet because YOU. DON'T. HAVE. A. JOB!" He punctuated every word with a forceful tap to Asher's chest. Mariana nodded again, still smiling. "Oh, she would have to be asexual to resist the charm of my son. I have such a good little boy." "THE BOY IS NOT GOOD! HE IS COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY WORTHLE-" ♫Artemis, oh Artemis♫
♫Oh, you are so smartemis♫
♫Bring joy to my heartemis♫
♫Oh, won't you be-♫ As a mysterious song came from Asher's pants, he put up a single finger to silence his father. "Hold that thought, Spence. Phone's ringing," he said, pulling a cell phone from his pocket. The screen showed the same picture of the Immortal of Space he kept in his locket. Spike's face flushed red with anger, but he couldn't tell whether he should be furious because his son just shushed him, or baffled that the boy was actually getting a phone call from a woman. Spike settled for a middle ground between the two emotions, and he screwed up his face in an awkward expression of rage and confusion. "Would you look at that!" Asher grinned, holding the screen up to his father's eyes to drive the point home. "Artemis is calling me. I think I'll put it on speaker phone so the whole family can hear." After pressing a few buttons, Asher held the phone out for his parents to listen and calmly said, "Hello?" "Hello, Asher. This is Artemis." Her voice sounded just slightly less emotionless than usual. Asher flashed another smile at his father and answered, "Oh, hello, Artemis. What a pleasant surprise. How may I help you?" "I have a job for you, Asher." "Really? Interesting. Do you mind telling me the nature of this job?" "From our C.O.M.A.S. meetings, I recall your being particularly charming and persuasive." "Except when it comes to Omnistar HR managers and angry fathers, apparently." He stuck his tongue out at his father, who returned the gesture with an incredulous glare. "But I'm glad I made an impression. How can my charm be of assistance?" "I can explain in detail later," Artemis said. "How quickly can you meet me in Dynasty City?" "Hmm, that is a good question. Let's see..." Asher looked up expectantly at his mother and repeated the words. "How quickly can I meet her in Dynasty City?" "Oh, you can take our car. This sounds like a very important date." Mariana, still smiling, reached into her apron pocket and produced a set of keys, tossing them to Asher. "Looks like I can be there in less than 10 minutes," he replied. "Good. I will see you then. Thank you, Asher." And Artemis hung up the phone, leaving Asher standing in front of an ecstatic looking mother and a flabbergasted looking father. "Well, what do you know!" Asher dangled the keys triumphantly in front of Spike's face, confident that there wasn't going to be any retribution. "A car, a job, and a girl, all in the span of fifteen minutes. Not bad, eh, Spence?" Spike opened his mouth as if to say something, but all that came out were incomprehensible guttural noises. "Well, you two take care!" Having won the battle, the newly employed mage opened up their garage and shoved his possessions into their car - a black sports car that his father had worked ten years of overtime to afford. "See you later!" And without another word, he jumped in and sped off toward Dynasty City. "Good luck on your date, Asher! Tell me how it goes!" Mariana called after him, waving goodbye. "But - that - car - Artemis - good-for-nothing...son..." A string of unconnected words left Spike's mouth as he watched his only son run off with his only car to see a girl and get a job. "Oh, he's such a good son, isn't he, honey?" she asked. "Now, let us go inside. You have some plumbing to do." And she escorted her husband back into the house, closing the door behind them.
Asher arrived outside the Second Imperial Tower in a little over five minutes; during one of his days camping out in his parents' basement, he secretly retrofitted the car with an engine that responds to lightning magic (of which Asher was a master), allowing the car to run at speeds of over 300 VPH. Add that to the fact that it was night time and the country was in the middle of war, and it was smooth sailing from the Psi District to the nation's capital. From his windshield he could see the Immortal of Space, as well as two other people he didn't know (or care about). "Sorry I'm late," he announced as he stepped out of the car. "So, how can I help you today, dear Artemis?" "Thank you for your timely arrival, Asher. As I am sure you are aware, the Immortal of Darkness, Zais, recently decided to invade Dynasty City," Artemis began. "Actually, I hadn't noticed. These conflicts don't really seep into the other districts." Asher shrugged. "But I shall treat Dynasty City as if it were my home. So, shall I take down a few enemy soldiers? Scour the area for traps? I shall do whatever you ask." He gave a slight bow and tipped an imaginary hat to Artemis, eagerly awaiting his assignment. "Honestly, who does this child think he is?" Galro muttered under his breath, rolling his eyes in exasperation. "Most of Zais' soldiers here have been dealt with. The area has also been secured and removed of traps." "Thanks to us," Galro added, pointing to himself and Scern. "What I need from you, Asher, is to help me evacuate the city. The battle against Zais is currently taking place above us." She pointed to the Dark Fortress looming over the Second Imperial Tower. "Although it is within the scope of my powers to teleport everyone here to safety, that would serve only to cause panic, and my impersonal nature will not serve to allay their fears. So-" "You need me to go door to door and tell each and every person in this city that they're in danger and should come here for evacuation?" Asher asked, raising an eyebrow. "Correct. Is that too much?" "Hahaha! Say no more, Artemis! Ah, but I do love your impersonal nature. That cold, calculating demeanor is so endearing..." He trailed off, staring longingly into the open air for a few moments. Coming back to his senses, he responded, "Give me half an hour and I'll have this entire city cleared out! Of course, this is quite the task you've given me. May I expect some sort of compensation for my efforts?" Artemis nodded. "The lawsuit against the Princess of Really Cool Land for the death of William provided enough money to pay for tasks like this. You will be repaid appropriately." He sighed. "Well, that's not exactly the kind of compensation I was hoping for, but one step at a time, I suppose. Ah, that reminds me! Isn't he supposed to get a funeral?" "As a part of our agreement, Princess Sarah has promised to arrange a funeral for William, to be held in Really Cool Land. I imagine it will take place some time in the near future," Artemis replied matter-of-factly. "I see. Well, let me know when it does. I've actually got his will in the car. I took it with me while I was clearing out our warehouse. I'll pass it along to you when I get back, since you were his second-in-command. Find a good lawyer to be executor when you get the chance. Ah, and one more thing!" "Yes?" Artemis asked. "Since this is such a large task, do you mind if I call a few more people to help me out?" Asher gave a smile that seemed a little too innocent with his request Her eyes narrowed at the question, but she didn't have the time to figure out the hidden meaning behind it. "Do whatever will allow you to get the job done as quickly as possible, Asher." "Perfect." Asher nodded and jumped back into his sports car. Rolling down the windows, he called out to the Immortal of Space, "Just wait, Artemis! We'll have the town evacuated in thirty minutes or less!" With that, he drove away, speeding to the nearest residential area. "Ugh, that guy sends chills up my spine," Galro said once Asher was out of sight. "Are you sure that's not just your ice powers?" Scern asked, his tone genuine rather than sarcastic. Ignoring him, Galro turned his attention to Artemis. "On what planet does that kid pass as 'charming' or 'persuasive'? I think someone spent a little too much time in the bath." "During C.O.M.A.S. meetings, he was easily able to convince most members to take a particular course of action and persuaded many hundreds to join our ranks. His personality seems to shift slightly when he is within a certain distance of me, but I am confident that he will be able to accomplish this task." Galro picked up his copy of Ice Techniques Monthly and began reading again. "Artemis," he said from behind the magazine, "you are a very peculiar person."
Leon casually followed after the Royal Family into the infirmary, eager to learn more about Johnny's condition. Sensing more than a little tension as they walked, he decided to make some small talk. "You know, security consulting is something I had never really considered," he said, addressing Veritaz. "But now that you mention it, I have been able to get in and out of quite a few places with relative ease. Maybe an Omnistar private security division wouldn't be such a bad idea. How much would you be willing to pay for that kind of service?" Elsewhere, Amelia helped the palace ninja set everything to the way it was before the Lolandas fiasco, all while keeping her own ninja powers hidden. Emperor Awesome owes me so much for this, she thought. But I wonder how things are going back there? He sure seemed like he had a lot on his plate. Hopefully things haven't gotten worse... |
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Post by Mizagium on May 13, 2015 16:30:07 GMT -5
GOLDBEZ TOOK OURAN’S RIGHT HOOK ON THE CHIN LIKE A MAN. WHICH IS TO SAY HE DELIBERATELY LEANED INTO THE PUNCH AND TOOK THE FULL FORCE OF IT SO AS TO GUAGE THE STRENGTH OF HIS OPPONENT. THEN HE THEATRICALLY SPUN AWAY, PIROUETTING WHICH HIS MAGNIFICENTLY SCULPTED LEGS SHOWN OFF BY THE TIGHTS THAT HAD SOMEHOW SUPER COMPRESSED HIS ARMOR DOWN TO SCULPTED MUSCLE FORM.
“BWHAHAHA,” HE LAUGHED WITH ENOUGH MANLINESS FOR SEVERAL SHOTS OF WHISKEY AND A STRAIGHT-EDGE SHAVE. “MY GOOD MAN. I HAD NO IDEA YOU WERE ALSO SKILLED IN THE ANCIENT ART OF FISTICUFFS.” HE CEASED HIS SPIN AND ASSUMED THE FORM. “IT ALMOST MAKES ME REGRET CALLING YOU A DIRTY WEEB EARLIER. ALMOST.”
GOLDBEZ CLOSED THE DISTANCE, FISTICUFF STANCE AT THE READY. “BUT THIS METHOD OF SAVAGE BEATDOWN HAS BEEN PASSED DOWN THE GOLDBEZ LINE FOR GENERATIONS!”
GOLDBEZ DELIVERED A LEFT HOOK DRIPPING WITH MANSWEAT INTO OURAN’S FACE.
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After the connection with Artemis was broken, Knox marched up to the bridge of the Ariadne and spoke the crew, while pointing at the Underboob, said, “Fly me closer. I want to hit them with my fist.”
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Without waiting for a response from Roewk, Ollie converted them both into light and shot them across the country to Metro City, outside MgRonald’s Burgers. “It’s a local place,” she explained as she pulled Roewk inside. “Sprung up a few days ago and it’s only a matter of time before Omnistar assimilates it, so we might as well make use of it while we can.”
She stopped to scan the menu. “What do you want?”
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“Are you sure?” King Randolph stared down at the unconscious form of his son warily.
“Quite sure,” Dr. Nuresenstein said, with a voice that came out far too gruff. “Ah. One moment.” Doctor Nuresenstein was a science experiment gone horribly wrong. Or right. Bill Nye was never sure exactly which, but he had lent it to the Mambutoo O’Malleys, so that counted for something right? In one of his boredom spells, Bill had cobbled together various parts of legendary doctors from around the world and implanted them with an artificial brain keyed to the medical aspects of the Knowledge element. Why he had gone graverobbing had never been explained.
Doctor Nursenstein adjust one of the bolts on its body (of which there were numerous) until its voice reached an acceptable tone. “Of course, my King. Johnny is unconscious, but ultimately still in one piece. He is alive and I will continue to monitor the situation. You should return and assist with the rebuilding of the palace…and quelling the civilians.
“Yes…yes of course.”
Cassandra remained by Johnny’s bedside, unwilling to leave him, but Queen Francine took her husband by the arm and led him out of the room. “He’s going to be alright, dear. You know how he is.”
“Yes, but still…”
“He’s going to be ok. He’s strong. And so are we.”
“Yes, dear.”
-
Veritaz saw the king and queen return from the hospital wing, saw the queen nod in his direction, and then motioned to Leon to follow him towards his office. “How much am I willing to pay, Mr. Veralice? My job is to protect the royal family – I don’t believe I can set a price ceiling on such a task, do you?”
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Post by Calefrun on May 13, 2015 17:04:01 GMT -5
"LOOK OUT!" Kayla yelled, pointing at the incoming barrage of lasers. She tried to conjure a shield to defend them, but maintaining their path to the Underboob was taking all of her energy.
"I've got it!" Al replied as he started rapidly flinging fireballs from his hands. His attacks sailed into the laser beams and exploded, sending hundreds of smaller beams falling towards the ground below. The sight looked almost like fireworks, if fireworks looked like exploding laser beams.
As Cozaltene continued to carry them towards the Underboob, Kayla commented, "I don't think that's how lasers work."
Al shrugged. "Meh, whatever."
After one last leap, Cozaltene's boots collided with the front viewport of Zais' flagship. The window shattered, and the trio tumbled into the ship's bridge. Cozaltene dropped Kayla and Al onto the floor on either side of him, place a hand on his hip, cocked his head back, and pointed at Neero. "I am going to fight you."
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Post by Myrdraxxis on May 14, 2015 18:15:26 GMT -5
Neero stared blankly at Cozaltene for a moment, then down down at his Hawaiian print shirt. Then at his martini. Then at his crew, who were also giving blank, disbelieving looks of their own.
"Uh." Neero cleared his throat. "You know we're the navy right?"
"We don't really do single combat." A gunnery officer piped up helpfully. Neero nodded in agreement.
"Right."
In that moment Ydda appeared behind Cozaltene and aimed her pistol at the back of his head.
"Surrender." THe First Officer said shortly. Neero blinked at her and then shrugged to the intruder.
"Eh. She's former army."
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Ouran glared at the incoming fist. "I will not be swayed!" He bellowed and then let out great exhalation of air from his manly lungs, which quickly dried up the mansweat off of GOLDBEZ's fist. And then he caught the punch with his teeth.
"Behold my nine-hundred and seventy-six point five punches of doom!" With that Ouran launched a barrage of jabs towards GOLDBEZ's stomach.
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"If we get much closer then they can shoot us point blank with those big shiny guns of theirs." Gree responded to Knox without taking his eyes off of the battle. The Ariadne was doing surprisingly well against the larger battleship, mostly thanks to its maneuverability. Gree didn't really want to sacrifice that my closing the distance between them.
"Can't you just teleport aboard or something? That's something you creepy Immortals can do, right?"
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Dedrick grinned at Blanche and Samuel. It wasn't a good grin. "Heh. Alright I'm game. Home you guys are ready for it, cause I've been waiting for a chance to cut loose for a long ti-"
And suddenly, when it looked like Dedrick was going to launch into a boastful monologue he suddenly was a blur of motion, appearing between Blanche and her companion. Dedrick lashed out with his sword, swinging at Blanche's head, while in the same motion using his shield to bash at Sam.
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Hyltir tilted his head, regarding Clara for a moment and then nodded. "Very well. I suppose I should do my part in distracting you from lord Zais' plans."
At least, he hoped they were plans. Hyltir wasn't really too sure what they were doing at the moment honestly.
"Try to make this interesting." Hyltir drew his bow and fired a single arrow at Clara. Before it could reach the warrior, however, it suddenly exploded into a cloud of smoke. The smoke obscured Hyltir for a moment, which gave the Lord a chance to begin firing a barrage of arrows at CLara.
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"Uhhhhhh......" Roewk stared at the menu for a moment. He looked over the listed foods. Most were burgers. ".....a burger? I don't eat much fast food."
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Post by Monika on May 24, 2015 17:42:27 GMT -5
With his legally borrowed, electric powered, super magical sports car, it wasn't long at all before Asher found himself at his first residence. It appeared to be a rather large and well kept house, a peculiar sight considering Dynasty City was the property damage capital of the world. From the outside he could hear a bass-boosted version of the hit hip hop track "Praise Leon" as performed by DJ Imperial, a pioneer of the "rapaganda" genre.
"It sounds like a party's going on in there," Asher noted. "With any luck, I'll be able to rescue an entire crowd of people. I'll help you save this country even sooner than I thought..." He briefly pressed the locket against his lips and ran up to the front door, knocking just loudly enough to overcome the brainwashing music of DJ Imperial.
The door swung open at once, revealing a particularly irritated-looking young woman dressed like she was about to head to the club. "It's about time you showed up!" she snapped. "You have no idea how lo-" She stopped herself as she realized the person at her door was not the one she was expecting. "Hmph. You're not them..." she muttered, frowning. Her mood quickly rebounded as she asked, "Oh, are you the male, uh...entertainment I hired? You look way better than the pics your agency has on their site."
"Entertainment?" Asher repeated. The question itself didn't confuse him as much as the woman's reasoning behind it. Through the doorway Asher could see a spacious living room with tons of decorations, furniture, a television, a massive stereo system...and no one else inside. Who could this woman possibly need entertainment for? he thought.
With a heavy sigh, the woman shook her head and beckoned Asher inside. "I guess not," she said. "Come inside anyway. I need someone to vent to."
Not one to pass up the opportunity to go into a stranger's house, Asher obliged to the young woman's request and stepped inside, sitting on a leather sofa next to her.
"So, what's your name?" the woman asked. "Oh, and can I get you anything?" She gestured toward a table in front of them, upon which sat an array of colorful snacks and drinks, many branded with the Omnistar logo.
"Ah, I'm alright, thanks," he answered, shooting a skeptical look at a sealed bottle of Omnistar's Everdark 400 Proof Shadow WineTM. "The name's Asher. Asher Blackden."
"Sasha," the woman returned, cracking open the bottle and pouring herself a glass of the mysterious beverage. She looked Asher over for a few moments before bringing the glass to her lips. "So, are you sure you're not the entertainment? I haven't even started this drink yet, so it's not the drunkenness talking. Like, fiz, was your dad an incubus or something?"
"He must have been to have gotten a woman as lovely as my mother," Asher said, more to himself than to Sasha. "But I'm afraid I'm just a traveling mage."
"Are you sure?" Sasha asked, this time a little more hopefully. "This isn't a sting or anything. I swear I'm not a cop."
Asher simply shook his head. "Just a mage," he repeated. "Nothing more."
"Damn. If you say so." She sighed again, sinking into the couch. "I guess we'll just talk, then." Sasha took a large swig from her glass and continued. "So, like, I'm supposed to be getting married in a year and a few months or something, so my besties were gonna have this bachelorette party for me. Well, I have the big house and the money and everything, so it was more like I was gonna throw it myself and they were just gonna come over, y'know? We had this whole thing planned for ages now, but at the last minute they all decide to cancel on me. So now I'm just here with all these stupid decorations and food and music and an escort who didn't even show up. Pathetic, huh?"
Asher shook his head again. "If it is, then it makes me pathetic as well." Fiddling with his locket, he said, "A certain woman recently forced me to part with my own friends, so I'm in the same boat as you."
"Is that right?" Sasha chuckled. "Then I guess we can both take the S.S. Pathetic all the way to Loserville." With a sigh, she took another sip from the glass of Everdark. "And it's not like I want them to reimburse me or give me gifts or anything like that. I just want them to be here, y'know? I just can't believe they all canceled at once. And they all gave me the same lame excuse about how they're too scared to leave their homes because of some 'Darkness War' or something like that." She slammed her glass on the table and turned to Asher, her eyes glistening with tears. "Can you believe that? I could understand it from Miranda since she didn't want any part of this anyway. Always going on about how I shouldn't be having a bachelorette party a whole year in advance, but Sammie and Lana too? We've all been best friends since, like, kindergarten! And they just go and ditch me like this? With the exact same excuse? Like, do they all just hate me now or something?"
"From our short conversation, you seem to be a nice woman," Asher said, casually sliding the bottle of Shadow Wine off the table and out of view. "I don't think it would be possible for such longtime friends to suddenly hate you. If it makes you feel any better, there is a sort of war going on right now. The Immortal of Darkness has invaded Awesome Land, and his forces are attacking the metropolitan Dynasty City area as we speak."
"So what? You're siding with them, then?" Sasha demanded.
"Quite the contrary, Sasha," Asher assured her. "If I knew where Miranda, Lana, and Sammie were, I would chastise them myself. A true friend would have done everything in her power to come here anyway. Rain, sleet, snow, hail, or widespread conflict shouldn't have stopped them from supporting their best friend. A woman I know, Artemis, routinely makes tough decisions and sacrifices to support the people she cares about. If only more people could aspire to her greatness..."
"Heh. She sounds like the kind of friend I could use right now." Sasha's eyes widened in surprise as she glanced over at her stereo and noticed that "Praise Leon" was on its sixth loop. "Wow, has it already been thirty minutes? Thanks for listening to me rant for so long, Asher. Helped out a lot. But I'm guessing you didn't knock on my door just to hear me ramble, right?"
Asher nodded. "Getting to listen to your story was just a bonus. I actually came here to escort you from the city."
"Oh, so you are an escort then. Just not the kind I was looking for." Sasha stood up from the couch and peered through the curtains of a window, noticing a stray Shadow Soldier clashing with a member of the ALIA. "So, this Darkness War stuff is pretty serious?" she asked. "Most of us are kinda used to it by now, so the different levels of danger just start to blur together, y'know?"
"Oh, I know. I'm from the Psi District, and the people there have achieved perfect complacency. But even if this new war didn't end up being serious, why take the risk? It's going to be hard for you to properly finish your bachelorette party if you're taken out by a random soldier."
"Can't argue with that. It'd suck pretty bad to die right now. I guess I'm glad you showed up, then. Thank Seraphina."
"Don't thank Seraphina. Thank Artemis," Asher corrected her. He removed the locket from around his neck and tossed it to Sasha. "She is a blessing to us all. She alone is responsible for organizing this evacuation and even now is waiting near the Second Imperial Tower to teleport every citizen to a safe haven until this war has blown over."
Sasha's jaw dropped as she opened the locket. "Fiz, you keep good company. Are all your friends this hot? And does she do parties?"
"Artemis does not provide entertainment. Only salvation," Asher responded.
"Is that right?" She smiled, tossing the locket back to Asher. "Well, I'll thank whoever helps me live long enough to see my wedding day. You said she's by the Second Tower, right? I'll head over there right away. Now, where did I put those keys?"
Looking at the now empty glass of wine sitting atop the table, Asher walked over to Sasha, grabbed her hand, and led her outside. "Actually, I think I'll take you there," he said. "If you could just wait in the sports car, I'll be with you in just a second."
Sasha shrugged. "You're the boss." And the moment she stepped inside Asher's car, she collapsed in the passenger's seat.
"Who in their right mind makes 400 proof alcohol? Maybe it's a good thing I didn't get that job at Omnistar..." he thought aloud. "Ah, well. One citizen down, only a couple million more to go. I think it's time to call in the reinforcements." Snatching the cell phone from his pocket, Asher pressed a few buttons and waited for someone to pick up.
The wait wasn't long. After a second or two, a woman answered from the other end. "What do you want?"
"On a scale from 1 to 10, Janine, how satisfied are you with your current job?" Asher asked.
"I'm a bank teller spending eight hours a day counting money that I'll never get to use. How satisfied do you think I am?"
"Just the answer I was hoping for. What would you say if I told you that Artemis had another jo-"
A split second later, a woman clad in the epitome of business formal dress appeared before Asher in a cloud of smoke. It was Janine Terenzi, former head of the C.O.M.A.S. Intelligence Squad, and her look suggested that she might kill the next person who crossed her. "This had better be good, Asher. You're taking me away from valuable overtime. You have no idea how much I love talking to random creeps in the dead of night and saying 'Here's your receipt sir. Please have a wonderful evening and come visit us again!' Who the hell had the bright idea of keeping a bank open 24/7?"
"Aren't those banks partly owned by Leon?" Asher asked.
The question was such that Janine promptly changed the subject. "So why did you call me out here?"
"Straight to business, as usual. I'm glad to see you haven't changed since our group's untimely end. And that brings me to the reason for calling you. You know about the little Darkness War fiasco that's going on right now?"
"I know about everything!" Janine spat. "I was the head of the fizzing Intelligence Squad!"
"That you were. Artemis has asked me to convince the townspeople to make their way to the Second Imperial Tower for evacuation, since she doesn't believe herself persuasive enough to do so. There are a lot of people, so she has given me permission to gather a few friends to help with the cause."
"So, what? She fires us after William dies and then calls us back up when she needs something?" Rather than give the annoyed reaction Asher was expecting, Janine let out a loud, eerie sounding laugh. "I like that. That's definitely what I would do. So she's getting the group back together again?"
"Ah, you know our beloved Artemis," Asher sighed, kissing his locket again. "She's being coy about her intentions, but I think if we do well enough with this mission, she might bring us back on a permanent basis."
"Is she paying us?"
"With the money from William's wrongful death lawsuit," Asher replied.
"All I needed to hear." Janine withdrew a smartphone from her front pocket and scrolled through some information on the screen. "Let's see...According to the country's real-time census report, looks like there are 6,391,225 people in the metro Dynasty City area. And Artemis wants all of these guys evacuated?"
"That's right. She's waiting at the Tower to teleport them to safety."
"Always with the impossibly huge tasks..." Janine grinned. "Just what I've been missing in my life. Mind if I call the other members of the Squad to help out?"
"Go for it. Make Artemis proud."
"Awesome. The Intelligence Squad is back in business! I'll have this town cleared out in a heartbeat!" And with that, Janine disappeared in another cloud of smoke, eager to return to her true calling: hunting people down and telling them what to do.
"Alright, class. If everyone has their #2 pencils, you can start your final exams...now! Good luck! This is the last test before you earn your associate's degrees, so give it your all!"
Gwendolyn Connors, aspiring swordcraft Ph.D student, reclined in her plush teacher's chair, the chorus of pencils scraping against paper like music to her ears. She had been instructing Advanced Magical Swordcraft Techniques at Dynasty City's satellite campus of Awesome Community College for about a year and a half now. It wasn't a bad job by any means. The students enjoyed it enough, and as long as she taught exactly as her superiors told her, she was in good shape. Their only real rule was that she should never cancel class - not even in the midst of war; as her advisor once told her, "Anyone going after an associate's degree needs all the help they can get. The certificate is practically worthless already, so let's not water it down by missing days of school." She didn't quite know how to feel about that rule, but following it made sure that she didn't have to foot the bill for an expensive doctoral education.
"Besides," she muttered to herself, resting her legs atop her desk. "That war stuff happens all the time. If we were really in any danger, the government would just have us evacuated, right?"
POOF!
As if on cue, Janine materialized right in front of Gwendolyn's desk, a cloud of smoke right behind her.
"Wh-WHA?!" The sudden appearance made the teacher fall out of her chair with a loud thud. There was some uncomfortable shifting amongst her students, but they remained silent and continued working on their exams. She quickly scrambled to her feet and asked the intruder, "Wh-Who are y-"
"Shhh." Janine pressed her index finger to the teacher's lips. "Gwen. Gwen Connors, right? How much do you enjoy living?"
"Uh...A-A lot, I guess?" Gwen cautiously placed a hand below her desk, fumbling around for something hidden under it.
"Panic button's already been disabled," Janine replied, holding up a red switch with a slew of frayed and exposed wires protruding from the back. "Don't make this harder than this has to be, alright? If you like living so much, head to the area around the Second Imperial Tower. Now. The head of Homeland Security has ordered a mass evacuation of the city."
"H-Homeland Security?" Gwen repeated.
"That's right. That's about as official an order as it gets, short of being said by the Emperor himself. Run along, now. Just look for the woman with the blue hair. Pale skin. Tired eyes. Can't miss her." Tossing the button to the ground, Janine turned to the students and said, "Same goes to the rest of you. Class is canceled. You can thank Artemis for this day off. Go to the Tower at once. Tell your friends and family to do the same. Got it?"
The students didn't have to be told twice. With collective murmurs of "Hooray!" and "I totally wasn't ready for that test!", they ran out of the classroom in droves, not even bothering to pack up their belongings.
With no students to oversee, a government order, and a graduate assistantship in jeopardy, Gwen had no choice but to follow suit.
"Piece of cake. I'd give myself an A+ for that performance. If I keep doing this well, she'll have no choice but to bring us back together. Now, let me get the rest of the Squad in on the action..." Once the room was clear, Janine made a few phone calls and then vanished in another puff of smoke.
And this chain of events went on for some time. One former C.O.M.A.S. member would evacuate an area, realize the extent of the work that had to be done, and then call up another former C.O.M.A.S. member for help. As the cycle continued, the area around the Second Imperial Tower was filled with tens of thousands, then hundreds of thousands, and then finally millions of people.
"This...isn't real." Artemis stared in disbelief at the crowd forming around her. Did Asher really do all of this? she wondered. "Could this be everyone in the city?" Being one who believed that math could answer all questions, Artemis brandished the Mathamune and waved it at the crowd of people. "Count: Local population," she said. Within a matter of minutes, the katana's abacus beads arranged themselves to spell the number '6,391,225'. "It is..." Recognizing the number from Awesome Land's mathemagically generated census, she could tell that she was surrounded by the entire population of the metropolitan Dynasty City area.
"That sure is a lot of people," Galro yawned, not interested in the slightest. "Let me know how many I can drink from when you're done with your whole 'saving the country' thing."
"I don't think we've ever had an audience this huge before!" Scern chimed in. "Just imagine how awesome a concert this size would be! Artemis, you've gotta let me put on a show before you teleport 'em out of here!"
Artemis ignored the duo, of course, and conjured a row of a thousand evenly spaced portals behind her. Using some basic spatial distortion magic to increase the range and volume of her voice, she addressed the massive crowd.
"Good evening, everyone. I am Artemis, new Minister of Homeland Security. In the effort to avoid a lengthy speech or explanation, can I trust that you all have been informed of what is going on?"
In almost complete synchronization, the people in the crowd answered, "Yes!"
"And you have no qualms about being evacuated from the city to Super Land until this war ends?" she asked.
"None at all!" came the next unified reply.
"And can I trust you not to panic when you all are up there?"
"Of course!"
"If that is the case, I will have you all in Super Land momentarily." Pointing the Mathamune at the people, she said, "Divide by 1000: Crowd. Distribute remaining 225 normally."
Instantly, the crowd of people was separated into one thousand lines roughly equal in length, each one set in front of a different portal.
"Please stay single file and walk through the portals in front of you," Artemis said. "Upon reaching Super Land, please stay in line and await further instruction."
And thus did the exodus from Dynasty City begin. One by one, the citizens of Dynasty City and the surrounding suburbs walked through the portals to Super Land, making the process go by more smoothly than Artemis could have hoped.
Taking her cue from the royals, Amelia walked after the king and queen to see if there was anything else she could do to help Really Cool Land given the recent events. Despite her original mission, she decided that inviting them to dinner could wait for a little while longer.
Meanwhile, Leon followed Veritaz into his office and smiled. "Oh, you are so right, Veritaz," he replied, his tone one of uncharacteristic solemness. "The well-being of Randolph and Francine is invaluable. With dark witches and evil Immortals and the Empire of Collateral Damage right next door, no price can be too high for the level of security you guys need. I guess the question, then, is how much can you spend?"
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Post by Mizagium on May 25, 2015 14:10:28 GMT -5
GOLDBEZ TOOK THE NINE-HUNDRED AND SEVENTY-SIX POINT FIVE PUNCHES WITH ALL THE STOIC MANHOOD OF A FATHER WHO’S SON JUST PROUDLY DECLARED THAT HE WANTED TO BECOME A DANCER WHEN HE GREW UP. THAT’S RIGHT, DAD, I KNOW. YOU DIDN’T SAY ANYTHING, BUT YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO. I SAW THE DISAPPOINTMENT IN YOUR EYES THAT DAY. I KNOW YOU STARTED DRINKING BECAUSE OF ME. I KNOW THIS IS WHY WE DON’T TALK ANYMORE. I JUST WANTED TO MAKE YOU PROUD, DAD, EVEN THOUGH I WAS NEVER GOING TO BE THE UDERWATER BASKET WEAVER YOU ALWAYS WANTED, OR THE GREAT PALADIN ZELMON BECAME.
“WHY DON’T YOU LOVE ME, DAD?” GOLDBEZ EXCLAIMED WHEN OURAN COMPLETED HIS TECHNIQUE, BEFORE SQUATTING INTO THE APPROPRIATE POWER-UP POSE, AND SCREAMING WITH THE ALL THE PENT-UP FRUSTRATION OF YEARS OF AWKWARD PHONE CALLS AND UNCOMFORTABLE HOLIDAY DINNERS.
GOLDEN SEX ENERGY (SEXERGY) CRACKLED BETWEEN HIS TIGHT PANTS AND THE AIR AND IF THERE WERE ANY LADIES LEFT IN THE CITY, THE LIGHTNING WOULD BE REACHING SOME PANTY LINES BUT THERE AREN’T ANY SO IT DIDN’T. THE TIGHTS SEEMED TO…GROW THE MORE THE ENERGY CRACKLED, REACHING UP TO COVER THE ENTIRE FORM OF GOLDBEZ. ONCE THE LAST HINT OF HIS GLORIOUS GOLDEN COLOR WAS SWALLOWED BY THE OFF-GRAY OF THE TIGHTS, IT COMPRESSED, JUST AS IT HAD FOR HIS SHAPELY LEGS.
WHERE ONCE HAD BEEN A PARTIALLY-ARMORED MAN OF UNRIVALED DANCING ABIITY AND INCOMPREHENSIBLE SEXUAL APPETITE, STOOD A SHAPELY, BUT EMOTIONALLY VULNERABLE MAN IN A MORPH SUIT. LIKE HIS LEGS, THE ARMOR HAD BEEN COMPRESSED DOWN SO THAT HE APPEARED NO LARGER THAN A NORMAL (IF MUSCULAR) MAN.
BRIMMING WITH DADDY ISSUES, MORPHBEZ LASHED OUT LIKE AN ANGRY GOTH KID AT A METAL CONCERT.
-
Blanche vanished in a burst of black smoke, but Samuel caught the shield bash with his crossed swords. He wasn’t prepared, though, and the bash sent him flying back. His moon-gravity whatever powers prevented him from falling hard and he landed rather gracefully.
“Hey, man, that’s against the rules,” he said with a smile. “We don’t attack you when you’re talking and you wait until you’re finished to do anything.” He sighed and shook his head. “Kids these days just don’t – “
Uncreatively, they pulled the same thing on Dedrick. Blanche reappeared right behind the Lord, daggers arcing into his back.
-
Clara adopted a defensive stance when the arrow exploded into smoke, dropping to one knee and raising Falbrenth. “The Goddess is my one and only protection,” she declared and a shield of light spread out from the shield. The arrow storm fell upon the light barrier, which held for a short time, but the assault continued far longer than Clara had anticipated. The dark arrows began to tear holes in the light screen.
“Though the night is long, and he darkness deep, I carry the light within me” the light screen blinked out, but Clara poured light into Falbrenth, augmenting the shield beyond its natural capabilities “and I will not be consumed!” She rose and in the same motion pushed forward, breaking into a sprint through the dark cloud. Arrows continued to pelt her shield, but she did not slow. Clara Lux pushed through the darkness to where Hyltir fired arrows, intending to ram her with the shield of light.
-
Ollie grunted. “Yeah that’s about all that’s good here anyway.” She ordered for them both, two burgers that looked greasy enough to give and elephant chest pains, paid and sat them down at a creaky table in the corner.
“So,” she said around a mouthful of burger. “I’m not really into this council thing and I’m thinking about ditching after this.” She said it like a statement, but the look she gave Roewk asked a question – and you?
-
Knox frowned at Gree. “Yes, I can, but we’re not creepy.” Even so, he did just that, teleporting from the deck of the Ariadne to that of the Underboob. Well, meant to reach the deck. But he ended up somewhere belowdecks.
“Hrm,” he grumbled. “I’m usually better at that. Probably shouldn’t let Artemis find out. She’d tell me I should have stopped time and aimed my teleportation better. She’d be right of course, but still.”
“Hey, who are you?” A confused looking engineer appeared from around the corner, wrench in hand, and raised an eyebrow at Knox.
“Ah. New hire. Say, what part of the ship am I in?”
“The engine room, but…I don’t remember us picking up any new hires lately. Look, I need to run this by – “
“Stop.” Knox snapped his fingers and the engineer froze completely. Time was stopped for the poor sap. “Engine room, huh?” He started picking his way through the maze of pipes and wires. “I wonder what would happen if I just…” He touched an important-looking pipe and willed time to speed forward for it. The pipe section rusted and crumbled to dust before him. And then a slick black liquid started spilling out of the open end.
“Either that’s oil or liquid darkness, but either way that can’t be good for the ship.”
-
Veritaz considered Leon a moment. Almost as soon as he thought it, a Thundercougerfalconbird blurred in and out of the office, leaving him with a slip of paper that read ‘RCL Budget’ and looked it over. “Four hundred thousand verals,” the Head Ninja said flatly.
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Post by Calefrun on May 27, 2015 20:10:50 GMT -5
Without looking away from Neero, Cozaltene said flatly, “No, you surrender.” For emphasis, he prodded the First Officer's abdomen with the barrel of his own pistol. “Drew it as soon as you started moving towards me,” he explained. He quickly drew his other pistol and pointed it at the captain.
Al sighed, stood up, then formed a fireball in each of his hands. Turning to Ydda, he commented, “Look, I'm tired, and I really don't feel like having to like... roast you alive or something. Could we all please just chill?”
While the two boys were making their threats, Kayla had slid into a comfortable sitting position, resting her head against one of the walls of the bridge. “I guess I've been away from Awesome Land longer than I thought; I forgot how crazy this place can get.” She pointed at Neero's martini. “Don't suppose you have any more of those?”
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Post by Sariel of Tevet on Jun 7, 2015 16:34:15 GMT -5
Captain Albert Alexander took a good long look at The Underboob and extended his telescope. He saw the small group loitering on the outside of the ship and could just barely make out a pistol pointed at the three who had just left the Ariadne, which was headed for some Underboob action. Captain Albert Alexander was about to begin shouting an order to his crew, but then the firing ceased.
He put his telescope to his mouth and blew into it like a whistle, because of course it is both, and his first mate came running. “Yes, Captain, sir?”
“We seem to have run out of ground artillery, which is fine because I have a new target. Move us in range of The Underboob at once so we can begin to attack directly. “
“Captain, we uh…don’t have any cannons left. And also we are on another ship remember? In our ship. We can’t just steer the Ariadne. We could move our ship to another window tho…”
“Then fire up the blunderbuss! “
“Captain, we don’t have anything to throw into them. “
Captain Albert Alexander twirled his mustache and began to look about the bridge.“There seems to be all sorts of things on the bridge. If I have been sailing without technology for decades, surely they don’t need any of these whirly majiggs. Either way, we need to speed this ship up! Now…get to work men!”
With that, Captain Albert Alexander turned the wheel of the ship and detached it from their current window, no doubt sending glass plummeting to the ground below them again and also no doubt ruining the stability of the Ariadne while a nearby NPC listened to No doubt on awesometube. The traveling minstrels kicked up their music as The Sea Slater moved to a window with better sights on The Underboob, and Captain Albert Alexander began to sing.
“When I was a lad in a fishing town
Me old man said to me:
You can spend your life, your jolly life
Just sailing on the sea.
You can search the world for pretty girls
Til your eyes are weak and dim,
But don't go searching for a mermaid, son
If you don't know how to swim."
The crew began to join in as they rounded up “scrap” materials around the ship. They ripped computers from the wall, pushed nerds out of their chairs and wheeled them away, and even carried off the occasional NPC or two or three and brought them below the deck of The Sea Slater to be shoved into a blunderbuss cannon.
“Because her hair was green as seaweed
Her skin was blue and pale
Her face it was a work of art,
I loved that girl with all my heart
But I only liked the upper part
I did not like the tail.”
The Sea Slater took out another window as it positioned the blunderbuss cannons outward towards The Underboob. As rounds began to fire off, the Ariadne lost weight as a good portion of its bridge and crew were being shot at the enemy ship, which caused it to pick up speed and bring the ship in range even more quickly. Captain Albert Alexander smiled to himself at their progress and finished his song under his breath.
"But then one day, she swam away
So I sang to the clams and the whales
Oh, how I miss her seaweed hair
And the silver shine of her scales
But then her sister, she swam by
And set my heart awhirl
Cause her upper part was an ugly fish
But her bottom part was a girl
Yes her hair was green as seaweed
Her skin was blue and pale
Her legs they are a work of art,
I loved that girl with all my heart
And I don't give a damn about the upper part
Cause that's how I get my tail."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Heimrall finally finished her lightning fast descent after what seemed like two months and drilled straight through the ground all the way to Awesome China, u-turned, and popped right back up near the rest of the group, who were already fighting their mini bosses.
She crosses her arms and sits down on the ground like a pouting child.
“No one gave me a mini boss. Why did I even jump from that stupid window? “
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Post by Myrdraxxis on Jun 12, 2015 21:46:57 GMT -5
Gree stood frozen on what was left of the bridge of the Ariadne, his expression unreadable. Luckily the pilot was also still there, though he was reacting considerably less stoically to the situation. "What the actual fuck!"
"Do we still have enough crew to keep this ship running?"
"Err...yes but-" there was suddenly a loud explosion as something beneath the deck stopped working. "...I don't think the ship itself can take it."
"I see." Gree said simply, nodding.
"Uh....sir?"
"Tell the remaining crew to abandon ship. Then set us on ramming speed towards the Underboob."
the Ariadne's pilot stared at Gree for a moment before sighing. "Yes sir."
Soon all the life pods began to jettison from the rapidly failing ship. All of the life pods ejected, even the ones that were empty. Gree made sure of that. Then he calmly walked back further into the ship where the merry crew of the Sea Slater were doing their thing.
"Pardon me." He muttered to one of the singing crew members, stepping around them and into the Sea Slater. "Now where is the-ah." He found the door down into the smaller ship and stepped inside, withdrawing a small device from his utility belt. It didn't look like much, but the object was actually a rather nasty proton bomb that Gree had picked up. "Let's just...." He turned it on, the small orb lighting up blue and beginning to whine mechanically. Gree tossed it randomly into the cargo hold of the Sea Slater and then headed back to the bridge.
"Sir, the crew are all away, and our course is set. What so we-" Gree cut off his pilot, grabbing the other man's collar and pulling him towards the open hatch that everyone else had jumped out of. The pilot let out a startled cry as Gree shoved him out. A moment later Gree followed him.
A few moments later the Ariadne collided with the side of the SS Underboob.
Then it exploded.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"We have a small bar down the hall." Captain answered Kayla's question with a small sigh. He didn't seem all that upset by their sudden intrusion or Al's threats. In fact, he was looking at Cozaltene with something like pity in his eyes. "Look son, you clearly don't understand who you're drawing a weapon on. Ydda's a bit.."
"Care to finish that, sir?" Ydda spoke up, not taking her eyes off of Cozaltene, but the glare was very evident in her tone. She hadn't taken her gun away. Neero gulped.
"Uh...now look let's just-"
Then the bridge of the Underboob was rocked by a sudden explosion. Everyone staggered. Ydda took the chance to smack Cozaltene's gun away from her with her free hand, following it up with a pistol whip to the side of the head. Then she pointed the gun at Al and fired.
Neero grunted, the sudden impact having knocked the captain off of his feet. "Status report!" he yelled.
"We just took a major hit near the cargo hold!" Someone shouted. "THere are fires on decks five through nine!"
"Also, engineering reports that apparently the...sewer system is backing up?"
"The hell?" Neero frowned. "Well tell the Chief Engineer to deal with it!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Down on engineering deck, near where a certain Immortal of Time was causing havoc, there came an explosive string of curses. "Who the hell is fuckin' around in my system?!"
The other engineering crew members gulped and hurried about their tasks as the Chief stalked by. None of them actually knew the Chief Engineer's name, he was simply referred to as "Chief". He wasn't a particularly scary looking man, all by himself. In fact, standing at below average height, skinning in build and with large spectacles, he looked largely like a sterotypical nerd. What made Chief was his supernatural ability to conjure complex machinery out of thin air.
"I'm going to check on those damn pipes before someone's shit goes flying back up their asshole!" Chief called.
He also had the mouth of a sailor. Which may or may not have been why he joined the navy.
Winding his way through the warren of tunnels on engineering deck CHief arrived on scene, and immediately spotted Knox. "You! The fuck are you doing to my ship?!"
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"Don't feel bad." Leske said absently to Heimrall. The man was watching the ongoing fights with mild interest. He glanced down at the Immortal. "I didn't get one either. I think I might just head towards the ship."
Now that he pointed it out, with all the Lords occupied. there was nothing stopping the remaining anti-Zis crusaders from reaching the grav-lift up to the SS Underboob.
So Leske started walking towards it. He altered his path slightly as Dace staggered past, struck by one of Faelin's spells, then kept going, ducking slightly as Corr went flying overhead from a rather powerful punch by Xiffrin.
He had almost made it to the grav lift when the sound of a gunshot made him step back. A bullet buried itself in the ground at Leske's feet.
"That's as far as you get, partner." A voice with a distinctly southern twang said. A nother Shadow being revealed himself. He was flanked by two others. Leske blinked at the new appearance. The Shadow being was wearing a leather duster, his face veiled by a large cowboy hat and a bandanna. Revolvers were clutched in each of his hands.
"Let me guess...the cowboy planet?" Leske said. The desperado grunted an affirmative.
"The name's Revolver Revy." To punctuate his introduction, four more, rather ghostly-looking, arms appeared from within Revy's duster, each carrying another revolver.
"...hrm." Was all Leske could say to that.
"We're to make sure y'all don't make it onto the ship." Revy continued. "And I mean to do just that."
The two Shadows flanking Revolver Revy moved, giving Leske and his opponent room. Leske frowned at them. "So, what, you wanna fight one-on-one too?"
"Wouldn't be proper to do otherwise." Revy drawled. "Now," He pointed all six revolvers at Leske. "Put em up!"
Leske stared at him for a moment...then grinned.
'Hey Codex, I have enough magic in me to take this guy, right?'
'Yuuuup~' came the reply in his mind. 'Kick his ass!'
Leske raised both arms and with a dramatic flair, snapped his fingers, conjuring a pair of rifles. "You picked the wrong opponent, partner!" The air between the two fighters exploded with bullets.
Meanwhile Revy's two companions had picked out their own targets.
"Hi there!" The Shadow that came for Heimrall was clearly female, decked out in rather garish cowgirl clothing, a large winchester rifle slung over one shoulder. "Name's Molly the...the..." she scrunched up her brow for a second, then sighed. "Okay, I don't have a cool title like Revy yet. But I will some day!"
It was a rite of passage on the Cowboy Planet after all.
"Well, whatever. Let's fight I guess."
Meanwhile the third figure approached Cybele. "I am Walks-With-Stereotype." The clearly NOT Native American Shadow being stated plainly. "Let us duel."
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Dedrick grunted as Blanche's daggers struck home, burying in the back of his armor. The blades stuck in his armor, however, and Dedrick lurched forward, throwing Blanche over his shoulder at Sam.
"Good fighters eh?" he grinned. "Excellent." Dedrick raised his blade and launched a flurry of strikes at Sam.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hyltir's rate of fire increased as he tried to slow the Crusader's advance. Despite that, Clara kept coming.
"Shit." the archer muttered. He needed more distance or else he was gonna get chopped up pretty quick. Close quarters fighting wasn't Hyltir's specialty. With a sigh of frustration Hyltir stopped firing and broke into a run, trying to gain some ground. He fired one more arrow at Clara, this one an actual explosive arrow.
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Ouran was honestly stunned, and for a moment he just kinda stared at GOLDBEZ. Then was promptly hit in the face by GOLDBEZ's flailing.
"Okay I don't...what..." Ouran was beginning to recover his wits.
He needed to somehow counter this new form. Normal punches wouldn't do it. He briefly considered using his weapon but scoffed. This was battle between men! Fists were the only acceptable weapon!
So Ouran dug deep. He needed emotional pain to counter GOLDBEZ's.
It hit him in a flash. GOLDBEZ's moves reminded Ouran of his younger days as an angsty teen, spending his time writing poetry and sobbing into his Evanescence dakimakura. All of that potent and unwarranted emotional pain came back to Ouran in a flash and he let out a mighty cry. "IT'S NOT JUST A PHASE MOM!" And began lashing out, much like GOLDBEZ.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Roewk stared at Ollie for a long moment, munching on his burger thoughtfully.
Of course he had thought of simply leaving the newly formed Council. He hadn't thought much of it to begin with, and the actions taken by its members so far rubbed him the wrong way. Oh certainly he agreed that Zais had to be dealt with....but Artemis' draconian methods were crude, and frankly her denials at trying to lead the Council were laughable.
Roewk could see a lot going wrong with this Council of Immortals.
"I was thinking of leaving as well." he revealed. "I'll keep an eye on this Council, and maybe in the future return. But for now..." the wood Immortal shook his head.
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Post by Monika on Jun 14, 2015 0:00:44 GMT -5
Once the entire metropolitan population disappeared through the portals to Super Land, a much smaller crowd - perhaps a couple dozen people or so - were left to take their place. These were, of course, all people with whom the Immortal of Space was very familiar.
One person, Asher, stepped forth to address her. "Artemis!" he called out, bowing slightly. "As promised, I have evacuated the entire city and the surrounding area in a matter of minutes!"
"Not by himself, he didn't." Janine moved to Asher's side, intent on making her presence known.
"Of course not! I could never have done this without a great team!" Asher replied.
Artemis looked over the group in front of her and fixed a stern gaze on the young mage. "These are all C.O.M.A.S. members," she stated.
"Former C.O.M.A.S. members," Janine shot back.
"Ah, yes. About that." Asher stepped in front of Janine before she could start arguing and spread his arms to indicate the entire Dynasty City area. "There were over six million people we needed to escort here. That was quite a tall order, Artemis, even for someone with my skill. When you gave me permission to recruit others for the cause, who else was I to call but my old partners? I worked with all of them for such a long time that I know them better than anyone. I know that they are all organized, powerful, and great with missions...It was really the only logical choice I could make."
Artemis kept her eyes on Asher for a few moments before staring at each of the other ex-C.O.M.A.S. members. He's right, she thought. If he needed a team, no alternative was more logical than recruiting people whom he already knew to be capable. Giving a quick glance to the vacant capital of Awesome Land, she relented. And I can't argue with results. They accomplished what I asked of them. Her gaze finally softened and with a sigh she said, "Thank you. All of you. I genuinely appreciate your assistance. But I hope Asher has not misled you into thinking that I will reestablish our organization. You all are free to return to your homes or escape to Super Land."
"Hmph. I was promised some money for my efforts, and I'm not leaving without it," Janine scoffed, gently pushing Asher out of her way.
"I intend to have checks mailed to each of you. Do you not think that I will keep that promise?" Artemis asked. Her tone was one of genuine curiosity, since she wasn't the type to take offense to words. Or anything.
"As if! In all our time together I haven't known you to lie once. You're the most trustworthy gal I know." The rest of the small crowd murmured in agreement as Janine went on. "All I'm saying is that I bailed on my shift at the bank to help you out, so I'm probably going to get fired. I'm gonna need some cash right now if I'm to pay my bills. Or at least some steady work to make up for the job I gave up. I've gotta show my landlord something when I go back there. And as far as I know, the rest of the crew here is unemployed, too." Janine pointed her thumb at the people behind her, whose assenting murmurs grew louder.
Asher nodded, affirming their sentiments. "Yes, good jobs are just so hard to find. You'd be surprised at how few people decide to start businesses when the government controls everything."
"When Leon controls everything," Janine corrected. "N-not that there's anything wrong with that," she added hastily, briefly scanning the area for his presence.
Frowning, Artemis acknowledged their point. They're right. Again, she thought, staring into the distance at the First Imperial Tower, Leon's old home. From what she had learned during her brief time in charge of the Homeland Security department, while most non-restaurant businesses in Awesome Land nominally belonged to the government, the government itself was contractually obligated to surrender half of its revenue to Omnistar, Inc. and its absurdly powerful owner. Much like the tower, Leon's shadow still loomed over the struggling empire.
"He will be taken care of. Soon," Artemis said, though she was assuring herself more than anyone else. "I will see to that. In the meantime, I want all of you to patrol the city to maintain stability while Knox and his team are resolving the Zais situation. It is a temporary job, but it will give me a reason to compensate you, at least."
"Just what I wanted to hear!" Janine grinned at the news, nodding at a few of the people in the crowd. "Old Intelligence Squad, let's move out! Time to secure the city!" In a puff of smoke, she and a handful of ex-C.O.M.A.S. members disappeared. The rest of the members dispersed soon afterward, leaving Asher and the trio of Immortals as the only ones standing outside the Second Imperial Tower.
"You won't regret this, Artemis!" Asher smiled at the Immortal of Space and climbed back into his sports car. "We'll make sure this city's safer than it was before this war even started!" And he zoomed off to some remote part of the city to complete this latest task.
"Thank you," Artemis muttered, though none of them were in earshot any longer.
"My, my. Aren't you the popular one?" Galro chuckled, absently flipping through magazine pages. "You've got a whole slew of people who love you so much that they'd rather stay here in an abandoned city than evacuate with the rest of the commoners. Just imagine how much I'd get to drink if I could find that level of devotion."
"And imagine how big a stadium we'd need for our concert!" Scern added.
Artemis, of course, paid no mind to either of them, and turned her attention to the sky, looking in the direction of the battle. My part down here is over, Knox, she thought. May you have as much success as I did.
Leon raised an eyebrow at Veritaz' announcement, making a theatrical display of his disbelief. "Four...hundred thousand? I pull in more than that from my Special Land location in one month! Granted, Crider helps out a lot, but still! Are you saying the security of your king and queen is worth less than insubstantial fast food? Or are times just that bad for Really Cool Land?"
With a sigh, he shook his head and withdrew a scroll of paper from his suit pocket. "Of course, since I'm such good friends with the Royal Family, it would be remiss of me to bleed the kingdom dry." Smiling, he handed the paper over to Veritaz along with a sleek ink pen branded with the Omnistar logo. "Let's call it 250,000 and I'll have this place as impenetrable as my personal bank vaults."
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Post by Mizagium on Jun 20, 2015 20:11:15 GMT -5
Knox paused in the middle of, well, pausing the flow of sewage water pouring from the pipes he had just wrecked. “Apparently I’m ruining the sewage system on the ship, which was not my intention. Would you be so kind as to point out the important pipes? I’m on an important mission.” - Daar Lorra hadn’t actually been evacuated before the Ariadne exploded. Rather, Gree had sort of kicked her out the open door and shouted something like “Roll when you land!” Which she did. She rolled right onto the hull of the Underboob. The ship was big and probably fast, but it wasn’t really moving, so she found it ok to stand on. The wind was bad this high up, but she’d faced worse. “Well, I could go in, guns blazing and get caught up in a mini-boss battle…or I can just…not. Maybe I’ll go shoot the engines or something.” Of course, she wasn’t exactly close to the engines, so Daar Loora sighed, strapped the rifle to her back, and started carefully walking towards the rear of the Shadow Wedge Not-Star-Destroyer. - Blanche rolled out of the way to catch her breath while Sam went mono-a-mono with Dedrick. “You’re pretty good,” Samuel admitted. “But I’ll have you know that I’ve dueled with masters of seventeen different fight styles on eight worlds and I – “ A sharp twang cut him off as Dedrick’s sword caught his and flung it away. “Ah yes. The fourth-level sword-fling technique. I’ve seen that before. Still haven’t found an effective counter.” “What the hell are you talking about?” Blanche stared at her Crusader companion with a confused face. “Mostly nonsense,” he admitted, “but I was giving you time to DO SOMETHING!” “Oh right.” Blanche backflipped up on to a telephone poll and went through a series of hand seals. Space ninjutsu, mother fizzers. It hasn’t come up yet because I didn’t feel like it, but it’s real! “Seal of the Starless Night: Two Thousand Years of Shadow!” She disappeared, and then reappeared behind above Dedrick. “Deep Space Banishment!” Her hands, glowing with dark energy landed square on Dedrick’s forehead. She pushed off and flipped away while Samuel retreated to his fallend sword and they waited while the seal took effect. - Clara slowed a little when the explosive arrow hit her shield, but it wasn’t enough to stop the light-blessed paladin. “If you will not fight me face to face” she called to Hyltir, “Then I will conquer you on your own terms!” The quiver of throwing lances she carried but seldom used began to shine. The spears held within removed themselves, guided by holy light, and formed a glowing ring around her as she chased the other. “Face the Goddess’s righteous fury!” The light spears flew forward as if thrown, one after the other, chasing Hyltir. - Ollie finished her burger and mopped up some ketchup with a fry. “But right now, it sucks. I thought Knox would…I dunno. Be better? But I guess that cold-ass bitch, Artemis got to him, huh?” She leaned back in her seat. “Well, if you’re sure you’re done, then I know a place we can go that’s millions of times better than the Council.” - Everyone had forgotten about Rick Thunder. Which was fair, but he was in the middle of taking the world’s longest piss. In fact, when the Ariadne exploded, he still was. The bathroom functioned as an emergency lifeboat and ejected out the rear of the ship when all the other escape pods did. He finally finished and took notice as the bathroom lodged itself in the side of a building only a short distance away. “Man can’t even take a whiz in peace,” he muttered, popping his collar and started affectedly at the Underboob. “Might make a man want to get some revenge. Maybe.” Petra, his ever-loyal pterodactyl flew by the window, level with the floor, and Rick Thunder casually stepped out onto the dinosaur, like it ain’t no thing. “Take to the Overboob, Petra, I’m scheming.” - GOLDBEZ AND OURAN LASHED AT ONE ANOTHER, SOBBING AND SCREAMING AND GENERALLY MAKING AN EMBRASSAMENT OUT OF THE WHOLE SITUATION. AFTER THE DOUBLE-TEEN ANGST BATTLE HAD GONE ON FOR JUST TOO LONG, SOMETHING HAPPENED TO THANKFULLY STOP THE TWO WHINERS. THEIR COMBINED EMOTIONAL PAIN TORE AWAY AT THE REALITY AROUND THEM AND SHUNTED THEM ACROSS THE MULTIVERSE, DUMPING THEM IN A WORLD FAMILIAR TO OUR READERS, BUT NOT TO EITHER OR THEM. WELL, MAYBE GOLDBEZ. BUT DEFINITELY NOT OURAN. … The two fighting men (and I use that term loosely) found themselves in what looked like an arena. A special arena. The seats were all made of suede and fitted for individuals with perfect asses. The center of the arena was a large grassy area populated by tall leg lamp trees. Unlike the last time someone had visited Sexy Land, there was no sensual singing, and the sky above was full of clouds that looked like judgmental parents. The Sphinx was still there, wearing his sunglasses, and standing beside him was a shirtless man of indeterminate age, but probably around 35. It was the Abs Man himself. “Dad?” Goldbez looked around. “How did I get to - Hey! What happened to my all-caps?” “The All-Caps has been removed from you until further notice, Goldbez. The reason for that, and the reason you have been brought to the Sexy Land Arena are one and the same.” He pointed a dramatic finger at the man on the ground and flexed his perfect eight-pack. “You, supposed Lord of the Dance, have been behaving in a most un-sexy manner. I was summoned from deep space – and deep ballin’ – by the Sphinx himself because of your pitiful performance.” The pointing finger flexed and the Man With No Name (The Comet/Jonathan Mambutoo O’Malley) transitioned into a series of calming showy poses. “But – “ “NO BUTS!” That wasn’t The Comet, but the Sphinx itself, speaking with a voice like Burt Reynolds and Lionel Richie had a baby and that baby was made of velvet and caressing the inside of your ear canals. “UNLESS THEY’RE LADY BUTTS, AMIRITE, FELLAS?” Jon and the Sphinx slapped five, slapped ten, around the side, and back again. “Great Sphinx, I…” “GOLDBEZ, I GRANTED YOU THE FORCE OF SEXY DANCING AT A YOUNG AGE, AND YOU HAVE HELD FAITHFULLY TO YOUR CHARGE, BUT NOW I SEE THAT PERHAPS THERE IS SOME…ISSUE YOU HAVE NOT YET LET GO.” The Sphinx looked over the rim of his sunglasses. “OR WAS I INCORRECT IN GIVING YOU THIS POWER?” “Of course, not Great Sphinx!” “THEN PROVE IT.” The Sphinx roared and the whole host of attractive angels descended from the sky, equally split between those than looked like Kate Upton, and those that looked like Stephen Amell. “GOLDBEZ. OURAN. YOUR CONFLICT NOW TRANSCENDS THE ATTACK ON ZAIS BACK IN AWESOME LAND. NOW, YOU FIGHT FOR MY AMUSEMENT AND THEIR JUDGMENT.” The host of sexy angels sent up a cheer as they fitted their perfect asses into the suede seats. “DEMONSTRATE TO ME, GOLDBEZ, THAT YOU ARE STILL WORTHY OF BEING THE SEXY AVATAR OF DANCE. DO SO, AND I WILL RESTORE YOUR ALL-CAPS AND SEND YOU ON YOUR WAY, BUT FAIL AND YOU WILL BE DOOMED TO BEYOND THE GATES, WHERE THE NORMIES LOOK IN WITH ENVY.” The Sphinx’s sunglasses shimmered and reflected the far reaches of Sexy Land, where a bunch of average-looking people tried to see inside. No one wanted that. “AND OURAN…LET ME SEE IF YOU HAVE THE SOUL OF A SEXUAL MAN. IMPRESS ME, AND YOU WILL BE REWARDED. BUT FIRST, LET ME REMOVE THAT EMBARRASSING GARMENT OF YOURS.” Goldbez felt a power take hold of him and was lifted into the air. His morph suit contracted, then shredded, revealing a perfect chiseled man without any clothes. However, his face and groin were too sexy to be shown to even the angels, and so were censored with a bright, heavenly light that shined out form his face and crotch. The Abs man flexed again, getting into a position to better view the battle, while the Sphinx opened his mouth and PUSH ME
AND THEN JUST TOUCH ME
TILL I CAN GET MY
SATISFACTION Nudebez examined his new body and tried it out. He karate chopped the nearest leg-lamp tree, which shook, let out a low moan, and collapsed to the ground, exhausted. “Just like high school,” he chuckled. “Come on, then, Ouran! You heard the Sphinx – let’s kung-fu fight!” He launched himself through the air, spinning and chopping like a naked weed-whacker.
SATISFACTION
SATISFACTION
SATISFACTION
SATISFACTION
- Veritaz glanced at the contract, reading at 3.14159 words per second. “No tricks? I don’t want to wake up tomorrow and find that we’ve signed away the royal jewels or something equally ridiculous. Not that that would happen because Veritaz was a top-tier ninja and hardly ever slept. - With the ninjas bringing the palace back up to propriety and Johnny presumably on the mend, the King and Queen were left with nothing but to perform more royal duties. “Orvell!” The Queen called and a ninja appeared beside her. “Ma’am?” “I believe we have a guest…Amelia was her name? She’s been trying to speak with us since the first page and I think we’ve forced her to wait long enough. Have her meet us in the receiving room, would you?” “Of course.” Orvell Thundercougerfalconbird disappeared to inform Amelia that she will have an audience with the King and Queen of Really Cool Land. |
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Post by Sariel of Tevet on Jun 21, 2015 0:55:02 GMT -5
The Ariadne was so derailed that it was now exploding all over The Underboob, and by exploding, I mean the Sea Slater. Wood jammed itself into The Underboob, right between a large crack in hull. Captain Albert Alexander and his crew were ejected from the ship (well both ships) and plunged head long into the cleavage of The Underboob where they suddenly stopped. Captain Albert Alexander managed to get up on his feet and inspect the crash sight. He was miles into the air and seemingly on nothing. He was walking on the sky and spied his crew's deceased bodies all over the poop deck (which was ironically actually filled with poop, part because of some random sewage pipe that was apparently spewing everywhere and part because those rumors about pooping yourself when you die are apparently true). "Hmmm. I suppose it is rather fortunate that I can only die at sea, as is foretold by my theme son-Wait!" Captain Albert Alexander looked around for his minstrels, but found only the shattered remaining instruments and a disturbing silence. He fells to his knees and shouted up to the heavens. "Nooooooooo!! Not the minstrels! Now who will sing of my heroically escaping the bosom of death......and The Underboob. " He collapsed in his own sadness against the ship's wheel and began to sob. "...wait...this is the ship's wheel? I am confused." Well you should be. We all should be. But that's ok, because right then a hand made IOU fell from Captain Albert Alexander's coat pocket that was written in Cajun. Not Cajun French, it was just a really spicy looking font. I OWE YOU ONE FREE VOODOO Smoke from The Underboob and Ariadne wafted their way around where he was standing and the outline of The Sea Slater could be made out and spirits began to arise from the bodies of his crew. His first mate floated up to the captain. "I would ask you why we are still here, Captain, but I am sure it is something from your illustrious past. " Captain Albert Alexander looked at his first mate incredulously and stroked his mustache. "Hmm....you remind me of a man..." "...What man?" Some stereotypical music began to jam as the ghosts of the minstrels floated up from their bodies. "The man with the power!" "What power?" "Oh, the power of voodoo!" "Who do?" Captain Albert Alexander saw the IOU sitting on the poop deck of the ship (thankfully the crew's poop was invisible as well now since they came back from the dead, but the sewage line poop was still everywhere) and picked it up, and pointed at the piece of paper for all to see. "Ooooh! You do, you do!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Heimrall stared Molly up and down, and was immediately jealous of how good her ass looked in chaps. How might she have seen Molly's ass while still in front of her? Don't question it. It is a teenage girl thing. They just do that. She conjured up thin lasso made from dirt and swung it around above her head. "Time lasso this cow. I hope Zais isn't trying to steer me in the wrong direction. He may be milking these battles for all that he can. I don't want to spur him on any longer. " She looked up and saw that The Ariadne had crashed and let out a huff. "Well, looks like we are hoofin it when this battle is over." She threw the lasso at Molly. |
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Post by Calefrun on Jun 22, 2015 18:11:50 GMT -5
Ydda managed to strike Cozaltene square on his left temple, but it only caused him to wince slightly. "Well, that was unpleasant," he mumbled before grabbing her arm and slinging the first officer onto the floor. "I have another one of these, by the way," he commented, brandishing his other pistol. Before she could get up, he quickly pulled the trigger six times, launching a volley of plasma bolts towards Ydda's head.
Luckily for Al, he hadn't been able to keep his footing when the bridge shook. He immediately fell flat on his hindquarters, and Ydda's attack only grazed his right arm. He sighed, "Right, roasting it is, I guess." He briefly considered attacking the other crew members while Cozaltene dealt with Ydda, but quickly changed his mind after a quick glance around the room. The soldiers that were still on their feet were all either focused on dealing with the damage to their ship, looking too frightened (or at least too indifferent) to interfere with the fight, or just plain not paying attention. Not sure what else to do, the pirate mage tossed some fire in the Ydda's general direction.
Kayla, who had already been on the floor at the moment of the impact, went tumbling across the bridge, eventually crashing into Neero and rolling on top of him. The collision caused him to lose his grip on his martini, which Kayla caught and immediately began sipping from. Looking down at the captain, she said happily, "Thanks, man, I really needed this. You would not believe the day I've been having."
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