Awesome Land VI: Dawn of a New Era

[Razgat]

"Well, hello there, Walks-With-Stereotype..." Cybele dusted herself off after her middle finger dive. "How's about I change that name to Walks-With-Limp after I fuck you up? Now are we going to do this old western stand off, or what?"

She threw off her cape and rested her fingers just above her holsters. "Because I'm itching to shoot."

[Mizagium]

Captain Uggo was hard at work directing the construction of the first Awesome Land Imperial Space Force (ALISF) ship, the ALI ParFunSpa. The Technology Center had surprisingly capable workers – or at least people who followed orders well, which he supposed was the same thing. He had wanted to name the ship after the Emperor, but Alastor and Evangeline had insisted that the Emperor was not so egotistical to desire a ship to bear his name. That was Leon’s thing, they said, although he didn’t bother to ask who Leon was.

He was working on assembling the Hyper-Gasseous-Space-Drive-O-Tron when a shrill voice cut through the sounds of diligent work.

“How awful! Are you sure my husband is here?”

Uggo paled behind his mask. “Oh no. Quick, someone hide me.” But he was only met with confused stares. Sighing, he waved everyone to continue and went out to meet his hideous wife. Madame Butterface strode through the Tech division atop an eight-legged motorized palanquin, shooting derisive sneers at any- and everyone around her. Mayweather Octoritch, the former Cloud Land octomech pilot walked alongside in a perfect facsimile of a human. No one, Uggo noted, even noticed Mayweather was, in fact, an Octopus wearing human clothing and walking upright with two tentacles in each pant leg. She adjusted a fake wig and nodded to Uggo.

“Oh, Uggo, my dear, what on earth are you doing?”

“Hello, dear,” he said through gritted teeth. “I’m building a spaceship to take us back to space.”

“How pedestrian,” she sniffed. “Off you go, then.” She and the robo-palanquin brushed past him and went to find a comfortable place to pause and look down on everyone else. Quite a few workers had to jump out of the way or quickly move pieces of the unassembled ship so she wouldn’t step on them.

Uggo and Mayweather watched her go with grimaces.

“Is that the octomech?” Uggo asked finally.

“She insisted,” Mayweather replied. “I tried to walk her off a cliff several times, but the damn thing’s gyroscope is too good.”

“Well. You tried, and that’s what counts. Anyone catch on to….you?”

“No. People here are remarkably blind. Or maybe they don’t care. But I think my natural camouflage is still working perfectly here.”

Uggo wasn’t fooled, but he supposed most people would be. “Well…would you like to lend a hand? We’re building a ship, as I said, and trying to get us back to space.”

Mayweather frowned. “Is that a good idea? Giving this world space travel?”

Uggo shrugged. “I don’t care. Plus, they would have figured it out soon enough anyway. Might as well show them the right way to do it.”

“I suppose.”

“You’re in charge of the mechanics, now. Just start barking orders and they’ll follow.”

Mayweather grinned and marched off to yell at the mechanics assembling the moving parts of the ParFunSpa. Uggo wondered briefly what happened to the other people who had been on the Monstrosity before it exploded, but then decided he really didn’t care.

[Myrdraxxis]

Walks-With Stereotype chuckled at Cybele, shaking his head. "I'm afraid that is more of Revy's thing." The wind around him picked up noticeably. "I use nature to fight for me." That said WWS began to dance. It was a very traditional medicine man dance of of his people. One that called upon the spirits and granted him strength.

The wind began to howl and stormcclouds gathered above his head as Walks-With -Stereotypes danced. Nature itself began to answer his call and gather in a monumental clash. His power built to a head and then...

A tidal wave of buffalo appeared out of literally nowhere and swarmed Cybele.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The minute Heimrall began making puns Molly hated her with a fury only females can truly produce. She was already moving when the Immortal of Earth tried to lasso her. "Hah! Is that all you've got bitch?"

Molly drew a pair of sawed-off shotguns from somewhere and fired at Heimrall. She quickly followed it up with a double-drop kick to the face.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One would think that after a certain point of the fighters would run out of bullets. But that didn't seem to be the case in the fight between Revolver Revy and Leske as both sides continued to to try and out gun-fu the other.

"You're pretty good." Revy conceded, dipping his head to the side to dodge a shot from Leske.

"Same to you. Sorta sucks that you're limiting yourself to one type of gun there." Leske answered. The gun mage conjured another rifle to add to his ever-growing wall of armaments being used to try and shoot Revy. 'Not much magic left in me.' he realized.

"I have a name to live up to." Revy said, reloading one of his signature revolvers quickly.

"Which is cool and all, but doesn't really help when I do something like this." Leske said, and used the last of his magic to conjure up a minigun.

Revy stared at him for a moment. "Fffffffffff-"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dedrick stared at his two opponents for a second than began to laugh loudly. The arrogant laugh of a man who knew he was close to victory. The "Sam" person wasn't as good as he was with a sword and as for Blanche...

"Foolish girl! What did you hope to accomplish with that? I am a being of Darkness!" Dedrick spread his arms wide. "No such spells of darkness or shadow will even affect me!"

Space is different from Darkness though.

"Wait, huh?"

And then A swirling vortex opened up, swallowing Dedrick as he screamed in rage and terror and probably a great deal of disbelief, warping him into deep space.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hyltir began swearing loudly as the spears of light followed him. he managed to dodge the first two, but the third struck him through the middle. "Fuck!" He yelled, dropping to the ground.

He stared at the rest of the holy projectiles as they closed in. He glanced over at the rest of the fights just in time to see Dedrick disappear. "Well....shit." He glared at Clara and raised his bow, and managed to fire off a single arrow before the projectiles found him. When all was said and done Hyltir resembled a porcupine. A porcupine of holy lances and...blood and...he...look, he was dead, okay?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"That's my...er...you're welcome." Neero stammered then gave up, somewhat uncomfortable with the position he now found himself with Kayla who was, technically, the enemy. Not that either of them really seemed to care.

Ydda stared blankly at Cozaltene as he shot her in the head....and then continued to d so as the attacks literally bounced off. "That hurt." She said, then stood up.

"Ydda has a personal shield generator on her!" Neero supplied helpfully. "All the shadows of the Commando class have them."

"Sir, could you please shut up-" Ydda turned and then paused, seeing Neero and Kayla on the floor. Somewhere in the distance there came a sound that sounded like a record scratching. "...sir, what are you doing?" The question was polite, but Neero had never felt more afraid in his life.

Then the fireball hit Ydda.

She didn't notice.

The rest of the bridge crew did. Especially when their work stations began catching fire. The ship began to tilt slightly. "Uh sir?" Someone spoke up. "We aren't holding together too well here."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I have just about had it with you fuckers trying to blow up my ship!" Chief yelled and pointed at Knox. "I have no idea who you are but buddy, you picked the wrong day to fuck with me!" Chief conjured several automated turrets out of thin air, his signature ability and they opened fire on Knox.

Of course, he failed to notice that the sewage situation wasn't getting any better. Distantly there was an explosion followed by several cries of pain and disgust.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I have to admit I am impressed." Xiffrin panted. Havoc squad had managed to fight the House Lord to a stand-still but it was clear that they were just as tired as their opponent. Taler barely had any RAGE left in him, all of Corr's equipment was in need of repair and Vin, having the worst of it cause Xiffrin seemed to hate him for some reason, was covered in wounds.

"But, not enough I'm afraid." Xiffrin stated, and then suddenly there were five Xiffrins standing there. It was some sort of shadow assassin magical bullshit or something. No, really. That's what it was called in the Shadow military hand-book. Zais wrote most of it himself.

"Aw fuck." Corr groaned.

"We can barely handle ONE of him." Taler growled.

"But if we can take out the original, then the others will disappear." Vin said, eyeing each one carefully.

"Hah! Good luck spotting the original!" One of the Xiffrins mocked. Absently another of the clones glanced upwards and blinked in surprise at something. None of the others noticed.

"You will be dead before you can even slay one of-urk!" Another of the Xiffrins began to say....right as Gree fell out of the sky and landed on his head. There was a sickening splat. The clones stared at the scene for a moment then disappeared.

"Whoah, what the hell just happened?" Gree asked, gathering his bearings. He glanced down at the gore on his boot. "Did I just land on that guy's neck?" The other members of Havoc squad just stared at him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"It truly is a pity it has to end this way." Sindri said, shaking his head. Faolin didn't reply. Or more likely, she couldn't reply. The fight had pretty much been over when Faolin ran out of magic. For a while Sindri had been worried. Faolin had been his magical instructor on Umbra Isla, and always a better mage than he. But he'd managed to outlast his old teacher, and in the last moment Dace had managed to sneak up behind the woman and stab her through the spine with the Hero Sword.

"We've already wasted too much time here." Dace observed, cleaning the blade. SIndri found it kind of odd how attached Dace had become to the weapon but ignored it. Both looked looked at Faolin's body for a moment then up at the SS Underboob.

"We need to get up there." Dace stated. Then the ship let out a loud groan and tilted in the air. There was a lot of smoke coming from it.

"Er...it looks like it might be coming to us." Sindri observed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ouran stared at GOLDBEZ's incoming clusterfuck of an attack and....stood there. In fact, Ouran crossed his arms defiantly and tilted his chin arrogantly in the face of the on-coming danger. Perhaps it was madness, but something inside Ouran was welling up. A source of strength he didn't know he possessed. Quite possibly brought on my mental trauma and the insanity of the strange land he now found himself in. Ouran didn't particularly care.

Closer and closer GOLDBEZ came, but Ouran simply stared him down. He had drawn upon old memories to fight earlier, and now he had to go even deeper. Back to his childhood.

The world around him disappeared as Ouran recalled the past.

A young Ouran stood alongside his father, a towering man bulging with muscles, out in the woods. They were camping again (or did they live out here? It was hard to remember) and nearly nightfall.

"Hey dad?" Little Ouran asked quite suddenly. His Father looked down at Ouran, a mountain-man's beard decorating his face and a proud grin stretched across it.

"What's up, son?"

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Certainly!" Dad turned and lashed out, punching a nearby tree with one meaty fist. The tree collapsed and his dad sat down on their new log bench, patting the space beside him. Ouran joined him. 'What's on your mind?"

"Well...how do I be like you? The other kids in school are starting to make fun of me and I want to drown them in their own tears."

"Like me?" Ouran's dad chuckled a sound that nearly shook the ground, completely ignoring the second half of Ouran's statement. "Well now that's an interesting question." He paused. "The answer is weight-lifting." He said after a moment. Ouran stared at him. "But also, guts!"

"Uh, what?"

"You gotta be strong in this world son!" Ouran's dad stood up. "When life throws shit at you, you stare it in the face and don't back down! When the going gets tough you show the world you aren't afraid. Take a deep breath and..." the man inhaled loudly and let loose a bellow so deafening it broke the flashback.

Ouran glared at GOLDBEZ and gathered up all his strength and began inhaling. He continued to do so for several long seconds, flexing threateningly as he did so. And then, just as GOLDBEZ reached him Ouran let out a mighty cry.

A cry of defiance and rage so manly that it shredded his clothing away, leaving only a bulging muscles behind, his genitalia covered similarly to GOLDBEZ's but instead of light it was a black shadow. Ouran's cry shook the stadium. It shook the world. It was so forceful it halted GOLDBEZ in mid-air.

Distantly mountains began to quiver as their foundations were penetrated by the raw aggression and masculinity of this defiance. Wolves all over the world lent their howls to the growing roar. It was like the greatest deodorant commercial you've never seen.

And then Ouran, still roaring, headbutted GOLDBEZ into the ground.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Admittedly Roewk felt a bit of unease when Ollie said that. It sounded a lot like the suggestions his friend Noores would make and then take them somewhere...odd.

Still, he had nothing better to do and he really didn't want to go back to the Council.

"Okay sure." He said after a moment. "Where are we going?" He asked Ollie.

[Mizagium]

Sam retrieved his swords and sheathed them. “Hey, nice job, Blanche.”

Blanche couldn’t help but snicker. “You know, I wasn’t sure if that was going to work.”

“That’s sort of how I’ve been feeling about this whole…” He waved his hand to encompass the whole of the war with Zais.

“Yeah…we should probably move.”

Sam ran his fingers through his hair. “Probably. I hear Retro City is nice this time of year. Well, all year. Nothing happens in Retro City.”

“Let’s go find Daar Lorra, then.” Blanche took her friend by the shoulder and they disappeared in a cloud of dark energy.

-

Clara Lux retrieved her spears from Hytir’s body, burning off the shadow lord’s blood with a quick flash of holy light, and replaced them in her quiver. She glared down at the body and frowned. “Perhaps the Goddess will show you more mercy than I have.”

The city seemed to be calming down now that everyone was being evacuated and several of the miniboss squad were defeated. The Underboob was still hovering over the city and sighed. “Maybe a small break wouldn’t be so bad.”

-

“Ah, no.” The immediate area ground to a halt. All the bullets stopped in midair. Chief stopped. The sewage stopped. Well, in the immediate area. Sewage was still filling the ship in other areas. It wasn’t what he had intended, but it would do. He stepped lightly passed it all and tapped Chief on the shoulder, freeing the engineer from the neck up. “So, look. As you can see, I can stop time. I can do a lot of other time stuff, too. It’s kind of boring. Anyway, now that you’ve seen this, I’m gonna give you a chance to evacuate this ship.”

He snatched a turret out of the air and created a haste field. The turret rapidly aged right before their eyes and crumbled to dust. “So you see, I’d rather not have to do that to you, man. So whatdya think?”

-

Suddenly, Goldebz found himself buried up to his shoulders in the ground. “Ohohoho, how manly!”

The Comet ceased his dancing and turned to his master, the Sexy Sphinx. “Do you feel what I feel, master? I feel…a quivering deep in my sexual soul. Could this…Ouran be…?”

But Goldbez wasn’t thinking of such complicated things. Deep thoughts were most certainly unsexy. Unable to free himself from the ground, Golbez wiggled around for a moment, before slipping deeper into the ground. Seconds later, a brilliant light emanated from the hole – and six perfect replicas of Goldbez (still naked, of course) appeared around Ouran. As one they pointed at the Sphinx. “Hit it!”

The Sphinx cut off the current, throbbing song with a grinding of teeth like a record scratch, and, using his super sexy mind-reading powers, instantly began the song that the Sixbez team needed.

Dale a tu cuerpo alegria Macarena
Que tu cuerpo es pa' darle alegria y cosa buena
Dale a tu cuerpo alegria, Macarena
Hey Macarena

That’s right, folks. The six Goldbezes started doing the Macarena. All of them around Ouran. “Sexy angels, lend me your strength!” The host of Stephen Amell and Kate Upton angels disengaged their perfect asses from the suede seats and joined the naked, dancing warrior in the most brilliant display of sexual rhythm since the last Kanye West concert.

Dale a tu cuerpo alegria Macarena
Que tu cuerpo es pa' darle alegria y cosa buena
Dale a tu cuerpo alegria, Macarena
Hey Macarena

As the dance continued, the entire stadium charged with the low moan of building sexergy. The Comet put on his dark, anti-sexergy sunglasses, matching those of the Sphinx. “I think we’re building to the climax, sir.”

HEY MACARENA

The energy generated by the sexy angels erupted forth with a great release of tension, funneled down into the six Goldbezes, and with the final hip swivel, the Goldbezes unleashed the enchanced energy of sexy, dancing angels upon Ouran. Six shining, moaning beams of energy burst out of six pulsating groins. The whole stadium was shooting is load of sexual energy at Ouran.

The Comet whistled. “It’s like an eight grade house party in here.”

-

All Ollie did was grin and say, “Don’t worry about it.”

When they were finished eating, Ollie took Roewk by the arm and led him outside and into a side alley. You can’t get where they were going any other way. She took a glowstick from her pocket, snapped it so it lit up with a neon green glow.

“Hope you don’t have epilepsy,” she muttered and slammed it to the ground. The light burst and exploded, filling the alley with thick, glittering neon smoke. Don’t inhale that stuff, kids; it’s toxic. When the smoke cleared, Ollie and Roewk found themselves in a crowded, pulsating world.

They were on the edge of an impenetrable crowd jumping and pumping the loud, bone-shaking bass line that seemed to fill the entire world. It seemed like they were indoors, but if they were, the ceiling was too high to be seen. The only lights came from the various glowsticks, blacklights, and distant light shows. A stage could be seen somewhere distant, but the individuals up there were indistinct and the music only sounded like throbbing bass.

Farther back, the crowd seemed to thin out, and then coalesce again as it got closer to another, more distant stage. It seemed as if the entire world was nothing but a crowd of varying density around numerous performances of lights and bass.

Ollie had to shout to be heard. “Welcome to One Thousand and One A-Ravian-Nights!”

[Razgat]

Cybele glanced around her. "Well, well.....finally something better to fight that's actually up to my rank." She pulled out her pistols and twirled them around before jumping into the air and landing on top of some of the bulls. "They don't call me Wild Child for nothing. HIYA!"

The loud noise startled the bull, causing a ripple effect throughout the herd. As they all began to run around, Cybele hopped from one to the other, bull riding as she went along. With each switch, the bulls became more and more scattered, getting angrier and angrier. Cybele set her sights for one particular bull.

"Aw yeah, saved the biggest and baddest for last." She charged towards it, leaping onto its back in an attempt to wrangle it. "C'mon, boy, you're an awesome bad ass...I'm an awesome bad ass...What do you say we be bad asses together?"

After a few minutes of bull riding, the bull seemed to accept it. "Alright, Walks, get ready. Think you can manage all these bulls running around now?"

[Sariel of Tevet]

Heimrall took that drop kick to the face like a champ, a female champion, but you know...still a champ, just one that is paid less. That 77 cent on the dollar warrior stood up and began to dust herself off, but noticed that her cell phone had fallen from her pocket. She knelt down to retrieve her phone, yes, mid battle, bitches man, and noticed that the screen was cracked. Heimrall let out a screech loud enough to shatter the glass ceiling and the earth began to swirl around her.

"YOU TRAMP. NOW HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO ORDER TICKETS TO GO SEE ROBBY ROB AND THE FAROUT POSY?"

She stomped the ground and sunk into the earth, disappearing from the battlefield. The ground around Molly McFatMuff rose up around her and created a stone hardened dome. It was pitch black inside, and a bitchy and somewhat fake cackle began to fill the darkness.

"Let's see you get out of this one, bitch. Even your disgusting thigh gap can't let you squeeze through this one! "

The stone dome began to shrink in an attempt to squash Molly like the self esteem of a teenage girl who just spent her entire summer working at a pizzeria and wishing that Malcolm would just fucking call her already.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The van pulled up at the safe house, miles away from the NAACP headquarters, and the team stepped out. Blues, RB, and Doo-Wop began to work on securing the perimeter when Calypso stopped them.

"Don't worry about securing anything. We won't be here very long, but either way, no one would ever find this place. This is a very old interrogation warehouse that we frequented in the...not so savory days during the beginning of the NAACP. "

RB began to polish the headlight of his van with the bottom of his shirt and addressed the captain. "So what is the plan at this point? I mean...they think we killed the general. We have no contacts with the NAACP anymore. We have no resources. No more military accounts. How are we supposed to clear our names?"

Doo-Wop wopped a trash can and it slung across the room.

"There is no plan. We stick this out, move out of Funky Land, change our names. Look, Captain, you are amazing. You always have a plan for everything, but there is just no way this time. "

Blues shook his head, leaned against a nearby wall and folded his arms. "Wait for it..."

Calypso tossed the cigar that was already in his mouth onto the ground and pulled a new one from his shirt pocket, lit it, bit down on and, and said "Boys, I have a plan."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

RB began to play with the radio station tuner on his dash, and the sound of Robby Rob and the Farout Posy filled the van. Blues smacked his hand away and tossed a pair of binoculars onto his lap.

"Man, pay attention, the hell is wrong with you?"

Rush hour traffic was passing by the van on their left while RB and Blues were parked at a building across the street from Calypso. He was sitting out in the open on a bus bench reading a newspaper. Doo-Wop was laying down on the top of an adjacent building with a clarinet sniper rifle and was scanning the streets through the scope.

"Seriously you two, cut the chatter and clear the coms. The captain is out in the open right now and we have every piece of law enforcement in Funky Land searching for us. This isn't groovy at all. "

Calypso turned the page of his newspaper and chuckled. Half because of it being the funny pages, that god damn Marmaduke, and half because of how tense his crew was being.

"Relax, boys. No one should be following her, and if anyone is I'm sure her people are already tailing them. In fact, don't be surprised if you all are being watched already."

RB sunk down in the driver seat and began to look around the street as best he could.

"Man, Captain, that is some sketchy ass shit you are talkin' about right now. Do you think you can even trust someone who has to tail us just to meet with you?"

"Well we are tailing them, so it is only fair, isn't it? Besides, we go way back."

A tall, slender black woman with an afro and leather trench coat approached the bus stop and sat down on the opposite side of the bench from the captain. She pulled out a make up mirror and began to concentrate on it, and smirked.

"It has been a long time, Captain Calypso. "

"I didn't think you would want to admit just how long it has been, Foxy Crescendo."

RB's voice came over the com link, "Damn, boss. She really is foxy. Where did you meet a fine piece like that?"

Calypso shook his head and got back to the task at hand.

"You know why I called you here, yes?"

"You got framed for Jazz's murder and need a contact that isn't associated with the NAACP anymore, trust me, I'm up to speed. Ever since I went to the private sector I've gotten dirt on everyone, even the NAACP. "

"And..what about myself?"

"Well, baby, I may be a whole lot of woman, but no one is good enough to have dirt on you."

"Good, that's what I like to hear, Foxy. Can you help us?"

Foxy began to apply lipstick when a bus pulled up and blocked everyone's view of them. Calypso could hear the cocking of Doo-Wop's clarinet rifle over the com link and added, "Easy now, Doo-Wop. If you can't see us, neither can they. "

Foxy got up and walked towards the bus doors as people began to enter and exit in a hurry. She leaned over, kissed Calypso, and began to walk up the steps of the bus before turning back towards him.

"You know I can't help you, baby. Like I said before, I may be a whole lot of woman, but no one is THAT good."

The bus pulled away and Calypso walked across the street and entered the van. He pulled a piece of paper from his mouth that Foxy placed there moments before, and unrolled it.

PRISON

Doo-Wop began to pack his gear and make his way to his own transportation and came over the com link. "Man, don't tell me we have to go to prison. Ain't enough brothers in jail already as it is?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The team approached the front gate of the of the NAACP headquarters and were stopped by a guard.

"Business?"

Calypso began to laugh. "Business? Sir, religion is no business. Its only profit is salvation. "

The team was covered from head to toe in various religious looking clothing with their faces covered. RB held up a large religious text that he was carrying at his side, and Doo-Wop began to bow to each guard before handing them a pocket sized book.

"We have heard that you general recently passed. Though we do not believe in the purpose of your organization and its war, we do wish to offer some well wishes for the deceased and anyone pained by his passing. Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Muse-us Christ? "

The guard slapped away one of the minibooks that Doo-Wop attempted to hang him and Blues began to play hymns on a small recorder to ease the tension. "Just...just hurry up. We have an investigation to work on, so don't slow our men down, you got it? Peddle your fancy talk and get going. "

Calypso clasped the soldier's hands enthusiastically and began to shout. "Thank you, thank you brother. You won't regret this! We will bless you many times!"

The team stepped into the headquarters without incident and began to work their way towards the crime scene.

RB pulled down his mask a bit and looked around the base. "Man, Captain, you've really gotten us into some shit this time. Do we even have to come here? I thought the answer was in prison."

"Well now, boys, we can't look at the crime scene for clues if we are in prison now can we? We need to start here first."

They came upon the crime scene and noticed a group of people standing around already. Blues walked up to a man with two hellhounds by his side and held a minibook up at him. "Excuse me sir, do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior?"

[Mizagium]

Carter narrowed his eyes at the strange, evangelical man. Something seemed off about him, but he couldn't place it. He sighed. The hellmouth closed and the wolves waited a distance away, whining concern. What a pain. His fire was out already and he didn't feel like starting to run again.

"Technically, I guess I do him time," he conceded. "But I don't really want to. Do you know what happened here?" He swung an arm lazily over the NAACP base. "Someone...important to me was killed. Do they...does anyone know who did it? Oh, what am I doing. You don't know anything."

He sighed and turned away, giving a lazily good-bye wave. "Sorry for wasting your time, man, but I have people to threaten."

[Mizagium]

Finally tired of not doing anything for seven pages, Rick Thunder urged Petra the pterodactyl (not to be confused with Pterodactlys with a capital P, which are actually a subset of dragon because science) towards the Underboob which was in the midst of falling out of the sky. If he got in before it crashed, he could still get some XP and be able to say he did something. Or whatever.

"Alright, Petra: Reptile Drill Break!" He flattened himself against the dinosaur's body and it gave one final flap of wings before angling in the air. Because of aerodynamics, it transitioned into a spiraling flight, still headed for the bridge of the Underboob. Faster and faster, until Rick and Petra were nothing but a cool spiral of greaser and antiestablishment.

Yet another hole was punched in the ship as they penetrated the hull or something. Once inside, Petra rapidly stopped by spreading her wings, filling the space and blocking line of sight for the crew. Rick, however, continued forward flying at the speed of cool, past Ydda and landing securely in the captain's seat.

"Set phasers to - " he pitched to the side and threw up, hopefully not on Neero or Kayla - before resuming a chillaxed posture and adjusting his sunglasses. "Sure is hot in here, amirite?"

The bridge was on fire.

[Sariel of Tevet]

"Killed you say?"

Doo Wop sauntered over towards Carter and began to circle around the area, staring at the ground.

"Then you are in luck! We can bless the area where your friend was killed and assure him quite the fabulous afterlife. Would you all like a bit of piece of mind? I know your friend would."

[Calefrun]

After seeing the relative effectiveness of his attack on Ydda when compared to its effectiveness against the ship's vital systems, Al had chosen to focus his efforts on destroying what was left of the Underboob. He was so preoccupied with this task, that he almost failed to notice Rick and Petra piercing the heavens right behind him. Thankfully, plot armor kicked in at the last possible second, and he dove to the floor just in time to avoid getting a faceful of dinosaur.

Having finished off the rest of her drink- by which I might mean Neero's drink- and narrowly avoided being vomited on by shifting slightly to the left, Kayla stood up. "Jeez it's loud in here." With a yawn and some stretching, she added, "Hey, didn't we come here to fight Zais?". She took a moment to scan the room, observing the pirates, the first officer, the pterodactyl, Rick Thunder, and the remaining crew (the burning ones and the rest). "Nope, he's not here." Carefully, she placed the empty glass on the ground next to Neero, then made her way to the door, managing to avoid stepping on rubble or losing her footing when the ship quaked as a result of something exploding somewhere. "Anyone needs me, I'll be in the bar."

Cozaltene looked at his gun, then at Ydda. Then back at his gun. "What a drag. Shields are for wimps!" He glanced up again, this time finally noticing the bigass pterodactyl in the room. Turning to Petra, he pointed and declared, "I am going to fight you."

[Monika]

In Awesome Land, Artemis surveyed Dynasty City as the ex-C.O.M.A.S. members scattered about to patrol the area. There was no pride for her to feel for the successful evacuation of the city; no satisfaction to be gained until the battle was truly won. While the threat of Zais still loomed overhead, her mission was only half complete.

"Telepathy!" she called out, tracking Knox's energy signature. 'Knox,' she thought, 'I have successfully evacuated the people from Dynasty City to Super Land. The only civilians left here are some of my associates, who are securing the location. I do not know if you or your allies have been holding back up there, but you needn't worry any longer. My job here is done. Go all out.'

It was only a half-truth, at best. Her job wasn't done. It was never done. Even if Knox and his team did defeat Zais, there were still the lingering issues of her two other targets: Sark, who was lurking somewhere in the shadows, waiting to strike; and Leon, who was continuing to cripple the empire in both finance and morale.

In actuality, the message to Knox was not so much an update of her progress as it was a subtle way of gauging his. Artemis was eager for them to defeat and replace the Immortal of Darkness. Not because of anything Zais did to her personally (although she had plenty of reasons to hate him), but because he was preventing her from moving on to her next assignment. Disabling her telepathic link, she thought, I do not wish to rush you, Knox, but please hurry. The sooner you finish that battle, the sooner you can teach me to focus. If Sark is truly growing in power as his maid says, and if Leon proves to be as unpredictable as Clyde suggests, then I will need all of the advantages I can get...

---

"Tricks?" Leon's eyes widened and he put a hand over his mouth to stifle a gasp. "Tricks? Why, Veritaz! I'm almost offended. Leon Veralice would never trick the royal family!" He considered this for a moment, getting up to pace Veritaz's office. "Steal their mirror?" he asked. "Sure. Banish their princess? Why not? But outright trick them? Modern day Leon is better than that, sir!" he stated in a rather triumphant tone, shaking his head emphatically. "Besides," he added, smiling, "my net worth is probably higher than Really Cool Land's entire gross domestic product, so I don't really have anything to gain from deceiving you anyway."

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Meanwhile, in another part of the Really Cool Palace, Amelia couldn't help but let out a teenage girl squeal of joy as Orvell delivered the news she'd been waiting to hear for what seemed like a year now: She could finally have an audience with the King and Queen.

Ohmigosh ohmigosh ohmigosh I finally get to meet the King and Queen it's been like 362 days the Queen probably doesn't even recognize me so I'll have to reintroduce myself but even after that what if my request is rejected it looks like they've gone through a lot and the last thing they'll want to hear is someone from another country asking them to come to some dinner so they'll deny me and then I'll have to go back to Awesome Land and tell Emperor Awesome that I've failed him and then he'll fire me and I'll be forced to go back to Shadow Land and my father will be so disappointed and I'll never have my own country!!!

Such were Amelia's thoughts as her mind immediately raced to the worst-case scenario. In typical ninja fashion, however, the entire string of thoughts occurred in less than a microsecond, and she didn't miss a beat before taming her mind and answering, "Thank you, sir. I will be happy to meet with them now."

And so she followed Orvell all the way to the receiving room, introducing herself once she arrived. "Good evening, Your Majesties," she said, bowing. "I am Emily Robertson, assistant to the new Emperor of Awesome Land, and I have been charged with inviting you to dinner." While she awaited their response, she couldn't help but ask herself: Was that formal enough? After taking what seems like a year just to talk to them, I feel like I should have had a more grandiose invitation speech prepared... At that point, she recalled the laminated, fancily handwritten cards the emperor had asked her to deliver, and she handed one to each of the royals. Hope this goes over well...

[Myrdraxxis]

Ouran's mighty cry didn't let up. His body began to glisten as he absorbed the sexual energy being channeled at him. It was glorious. His cry became a hearty laugh that resonated deep within all who heard it, a laugh of unlimited and ovary-quivering confidence.

"Is that it?" He asked Goldbez, arms spread wide, daring the man to attack him mid-speech. "If your techniques only serve to fuel me then this fight is all but over, Goldbez!"

At this point the sexual energy fired at him had fused with his own, and Ouran began to glow a multitude of colors, but not a rainbow because that would be gay.

With another grand cry Ouran leaped high into the air. He spun a few times in mid-air as he descended, his right leg extended outward in a glorious Inazuma Kick.

It was flawless, it was perfectly formed. It broke the sound barrier as Ouran descended.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


"Okay, now that I can somewhat handle the situation," Neero recovered himself (somewhat irritably since his martini was now gone) and stood up, pointing to one of his officers. "You! Get this ship stabilized! Everyone else-"

"Can't."

Neero paused him command, rounding back on his officer. "What?"

"We can't stabilize." The officer explained, rather calmly considering the ship was starting to nose-dive and the officer next to him was on fire. "We've lost contact with engineering and our cannons are now offline."

To punctuate that fact the ship let out a loud groan and began to drop out of the sky.

Neero just stood there for a few moments. "Oh." He said finally. "Well, to the escape pods then!"

Which was just the command everyone had been waiting for. Barely had the words left Neero's mouth that he realized his crew was already out the door, leaving him and Ydda alone with with three intruders and a pterodactyl. Also the bridge was on fire.

"Right then. Ydda, we're going." Neero elected to begin ignoring the elephant (pterodactyl) in the room. Ydda seemed to come to the same decision.

Both left the bridge of the ship, barking last minute commands as they ran for the nearest escape pod.

"Lock down the shopping mall!"

"Secure all the animals in the petting zoo!"

"Tell the prostitutes that they can only leave after everyone else!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Walks With Stereotypes stared at Cybelle for a long moment. He was at a loss as to how to respond to her wrangling a bull to fight him.

Since he had summoned buffalo, not bulls.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Molly would have panicked had she not grown up on a farm, kicking over cows in her spare time out of boredom. As such, she had some pretty impressive legs (as Revy and Walks would attest to out of earshot).

With a loud cry she lashed out, kicking a hole into the side of the rock dome and breaking her way out.

"Nice try, bitch!" Molly swiped her whip at Heimrall.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

At this point everyone who was still fighting (which wasn't that many now hopefully) paused as they heard a loud groaning noise. The SS Underboob loomed overhead, glided over all of their heads with an earth-shaking boom, crashed out of the sky.

Wreckage and debris filled the air, as the great ship died. "Well that's convenient." Myrxxan mused as he and Xaadm hid behind a quickly created shield to protect themselves from the blast.

When the blast cleared the Underboob was barely recognizable as a ship. Many of its pieces had broken away. Also, many portions of the ship were covered in raw sewage for some reason.

Near the center of the wreckage, one section of the Underboob sat almost undisturbed.

Zais blinked in bemusement, slurping the last of his soda as he glanced around the nearly intact food court, the ceiling ripped away and the areas beyond it a broken mess.

"Welp, I guess it's time to get my hands dirty."

[Sariel of Tevet]

While everyone was paused, staring at Zais as he prepared to enter the fray, Heimrall took the opportunity to punch Molly in the boob.

"YEAH, SLUT. SUCK IT. "

She took a quick Awesomesnap with her phone (which she was still pissed about bring cracked btw) and typed "pwned" and sent it out to her friends.

Welp, I guess it's time to get my hands dirty.

She let out a large cackle.

"No one gets as dirty as me, naked guy!"

She stopped, began to blush and waved her hands frantically over her head.

"No............no no no no no! No, that didn't sound right. I meant. Look at these hands!"

She raised her dirt encrusted hands out in front of her face for anyone to see.

"These hands are so dirty! No...wait. Ugh! I am the immortal of earth! So I am covered in dirt. Just. Ugh. Can we fight please? I need to stop talking. "

[Mizagium]

There comes a point in one's life when you have to accept that some things just will be no matter how much you fight. This was one of those times for Daar Lorra. The Underboob was falling apart. She never made it back to the engines like she had intended, and indeed it would have been unnecessary. But it might have resulted in a quicker death. That's what she told herself as she reclined on a chunk of ship debris as it plummeted toward the city.

"Well it was a good run," she said.

"Oh, don't be so dramatic."

She opened one eye and found Samuel Anarr and Blanche frowning at her.

Blanche shrugged. "We can leave you here, if you prefer, but I'd like to see you live a little longer."

"Well if you insist," Daar Lorra complained. She got to her feet and the three former Crusaders were swept up in Blanche's dark energy jump, landing them safely beyond the blast zone.

"I think we should move," Sam mused.

"I hear Retro City is nice this time of year," Daar offered. "Or really any time of year. Nothing happens there."

Without sticking around for the final battle against Zais, the three space warriors teleported to Retro City where we will find them later.

-

Rick Thunder flipped up his shades, getting a better look at the burning bridge, then let them drop. "Looks like mission complete, eh Petra?"

The pterodactly screeched something and pointed a talon at Cozaltene.

"How about later, yeah?"

Screech.

"I'd like to not singe my jacket, if you don't mind."

Petra rolled her eyes, spread her wings to the fullest (shattering what was left of the windows) and let Rick climb back up. Before they took flight, she grabbed Cozaltene with both sets of talons and they burst out of the Underboob in what was surely the strangest thing to happen that day. Or something.

-

Knox, feeling the ship breaking apart around him, quickly abandoned his pseudo fight with Chief (and Chief himself) to teleport out to a safe vantage point. Everyone was evacuated, Artemis had told him so there was no danger of lost life when the ship finally hit the ground. But still, he had an idea.

Artemis! he called over the telepathic link. The Underboob is going down. I think Zais is finally going to show himself now. Is there a way you - or we, I don't know if I can help - can sort of rope off this section of the city? Put a dimensional wall around it? To keep Zais in here so he doesn't try to escape or anything.

Something of the sort had occurred during the fight with Seth in the Final Realm. He was hoping Artemis might be able to do something similar.

-

Veritaz supposed Leon had a point there. He said as much and signed the contract after one final pause.

"There we are, Mr. Veralice. How quickly can we begin?"

-

King Randolph and Queen Francine considered the young Emily and then their invitations.

"Aurora never invited us to dinner," Randolph offered.

Francine couldn't help but smile. "Still better than...the one before."

"Ms. Robertson, we would be delight to accept Emperor Awesome's invitation. However, with our son in the state he is, and the repairs needing approval, it would not be fitting for both of us to leave, no matter how briefly." Before any disappointment could settle on Emily, he went on. "That being said, would it suit the Emperor just fine if Queen Francine, alone, accepted?"

Francine leaned closer to her husband. "Are you sure?"

"I never liked formal dinners anyway - and you were always better at politics."

"Sometimes I feel as though I run the country and not you."

The king shrugged. "I have never denied it."

They shared a smile and then the queen said. "Are you able to make that decision here, Ms. Robertson, or do you need to contact the Emperor?"

-

Carter stared at the strange man. His wolves began to circle him in time with Doo Wap.

"I don't like you," he said simply. "Please leave or Fenrir and Frigga will eat you."

-

Goldbez, in a most triumphant gesture, caught Ouran's Inazuma Kick with his fist. The pent-up sexual energy and broken sound barrier pieces exploded outward, sending the host of sexy angels away in a torrent of low moans.

"I must thank you, Ouran, for helping me rediscover my sexuality. Some people look at me, and all they see is a shiny gold dancing king. And that's by design! But underneath that armor is a perfectly chiseled body of delicious man-candy that makes all the ladies squeal. And underneath that are like five more layers of sexiness. But deep within, at my very core, there is some part of me that knows good from evil. And good...good is sexy. But being bad is even sexier and that is how I live my life - a bad boy who follows his own rules! But Zais...Zais is evil. And evil is most definitely not sexy."

He tightened his grip on Ouran's foot. "And you Ouran, you choose to serve this Zais, this most unsexy of beings. I feel there is a sexual awakening stirring within you this day but I say NO!" His body seemed to take on a golden sheen and the light from his face and crotch intensified. "NO WIELDER OF THE SEXY FORCE WILL SERVE ONE SO EVIL, NOT AS LONG AS I, GOLDBEZ, THE LORD OF THE DANCE, LIVES AND BREATHES AND MAKES TENDER LOVE."

The light reached critical levels and from seemingly nowhere, Goldbez's armor reformed fit itself around his body. He seemed to have grown in strength somehow.

"DO YOU SEE, OURAN? CAN YOU FEEL IT? THIS ARMOR - THIS IS NOT EVEN MY FINAL FORM!"

He slammed Ouran into the ground, lept back, and let the sexergy emanate from deep within him. Lightning cracked overhead and struck somewhere in the distance, summoning a giant version of Goldbez that towered over the sexy stadium. Regular Goldbez scooped up a handful of dirt and held it out for Ouran to see; the dirt shifted and molded itself in his hand, becoming a miniature version of the very stadium around them! It even had smaller versions of himself and Ouran.

"DO YOU SEE, OURAN?" He pointed with his other hand at the giant in the sky - and the giant Goldbez mimicked him - and then down at the smaller stadium - which the giant also did. "IF I CRUSH YOU ON THIS MODEL, THE GIANT WILL CRUSH YOU FOR REAL. AND IN THE DIRT IN MY HANDS, THAT GOLDBEZ HOLDS A SMALLER MODEL OF THIS STADIUM AND WILL CRUSH AND EVEN SMALLER VERSION OF YOU. OUT THERE, BEYOND THE GIANT IS ANOTHER, LARGER US, HELD BY EVEN LARGER US! THERE IS NO LONGER JUST ME AND YOU - THERE IS AN UNLIMITED NUMBER OF YOU AND ME - A RECURSIVE, INFINITE LOOP IN WHICH I WILL DESTROY YOU AN ENDLESS NUMBER OF TIMES!"

GOLDBEZ PUT ONE FINGER OVER THE SMALL OURAN IN HIS HAND, AND THE GIANT FORM PUT ONE FINGER OVER THE OURAN STANDING BEFORE HIM. "HAVE YOU ANY LAST WORDS BEFORE I END YOU FOREVER?"

[Calefrun]

"Shitshitshitshitshit!" Only now did Al realize that, having been so focused on dismantling the Underboob, he hadn't take the time to consider what he would do once it finally started to come down. "Rick!" He tried to reach out for Cozaltene, only to find that his friend had been abducted by a pterodactyl. "Kayla!" He looked around the bridge, but didn't see the necromancer/healer/Traveler. "Oh right, she went to the bar. Dammit!" Not sure what else to do, he followed the rest of the crew as they scurried through the crumbling ship, and dove into the first escape pod he spotted. It wasn't until after the hatch had been closed and the pod had been ejected that he realized he was sitting between Neero and Ydda. "Oh. Uh... gotta hate Mondays, am I right?"

Elsewhere, Cozaltene was soaring through the air while being clutched in Petra's talons. After coming to terms with the fact that this dinosaur was the only thing keeping him from plummeting to his death right now, he did the only thing he could think of. He fell asleep.

---

"Welp, I guess it's time to get my hands dirty."

"Well you gettem dirty you better washem," Kayla slurred as she crawled out of the wreckage and into the food court. After shakily getting to her feet, she continued, "You can't eat with dirty hands or elshe you'll *burp* you'll get... you be sickor shomething I dunno man." She tried to take a step towards Zais, but stumbled and wound up falling over again. "Look man I'm really... real sorry man. I... the whole thing was coming down man I didn't want all that booze to go to washte, so *burp* so I drank it. I drank the... I drank all of it. The whole mmmminibar." She attempted to get up again, but only managed to roll around a little bit. "I-I-I-I had to use a sssssshield to not get dead when the whole thing came crashing down, but I had to drink all the booze I'm real sor *burp* real sorry man." She managed to make it back onto her feet, but immediately stumbled backwards and into the wall of the food court. "Oh god dude stop being so many of you I said I was sorry."

[Razgat]

"I'm going to take you confusion as a sign of defeat." Cybelle shouted at Walks as her bull lazily waled away. "Haha! I win! Looooser!" She made an L on her forehead.

[Monika]

Artemis nodded. 'Leave it to me, Knox,' she thought, retaking her meditative position in midair. 'I can seal off areas of space fairly easily, but it will take considerable focus and effort on my part to overcome the abilities of another Immortal.'

Zais was powerful. That much didn't need saying. While Artemis could move through and manipulate dimensions, Zais relied on the darkness between them. His powers served as a sort of natural counter to Artemis' own. Even so, that wasn't the primary issue. As she said, she could seal off the area - and all within - by expending just a little bit more effort. But with the Void on Zais' side, the outcome of the battle was uncertain - even to a master of probability like Artemis - and...

'Knox, I can seal off that region of space, but I will not be able to make small scale adjustments to the seal afterward. No one will be able to enter or exit the area once I begin. Even this telepathic signal will be weakened, if it lasts at all. If you find yourself or one of your allies critically wounded and in need of escape...'

She felt no need to say the rest, and awaited Knox's response.

---

"How quickly can we begin?" Leon repeated, revealing the answer with a snap of his fingers. "Immediately!"

No sooner had he said that did the skies darken overhead (even though it was already night time, according to his watch), all sources of ambient light being covered by peculiar looking black clouds with crimson linings.

"Behold!" Leon announced proudly. "The Omnistar Food Clouds^TM! Experimental devices I use to smuggle products into countries that I've been 'banned' from," he explained, making air quotes with his fingers. "They rain all kinds of Omnistar products down from the heavens: Food, condiments, silverware, and even people!"

As if on cue, hundreds of people descended from the skies, each wearing a black, Team Rocket-esque uniform branded with the Omnistar logo.

"This is the Omnistar Elite Corporate Espionage Force. They handle all of the...informal aspects of the business when I'm not available to do so. Watch." Leon cleared his throat, cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted, "Ominstar Elite Corporate Espionage Force!"

"YES, SIR, MR. VERALICE, SIR!" Their reply came in perfect harmony.

"I want you to survey the palace and steal each and every valuable thing you can find. Don't leave a single nook or cranny of this place un-pilfered!"

"YES, SIR, MR. VERALICE, SIR!" they shouted again.

"For every place you are able to access, stick one of these-" Leon produced a bunch of large silver stickers from his pocket, tossing several to each of the ECEF members. "-Y-patches on a nearby wall. The easier it was for you to steal from it, the more patches you put up. Got it?"

"YES, SIR, MR. VERALICE, SIR!"

"Alright then. Move out!"

And the Elite Corporate Espionage Force scattered across the palace grounds, stealthing their way into every area that needed Leon's protection.

"We'll have this place fully guarded in no time!" Leon grinned at Veritaz, who was sure to appreciate what was happening.

---

"Um, oh, no, that will be great!" Amelia breathed a heavy sigh of relief. Her proposal had gone by much more smoothly than she had anticipated. As much as she would have liked for both the king and queen to show up (per her mission objective), she wasn't about to ask Emperor Awesome for his opinion on the matter. When she last spoke with him, he was dealing with some weird dinosaur man and land ship captain, so Amelia was sure that the last thing he wanted to do was waste time debating over whether or not he should accept only one monarch at dinner.

"Thank you so much for your graciousness, Your Majesties," Amelia said with a bow. "I'm sure the Emperor will be more than happy to have the Queen over for dinner. I will confer with him in just a moment to finalize arrangements!"

She withdrew her badge and was about to call Emperor Awesome, but she hesitated for a moment. For one reason or another, she felt like things weren't going to well in Awesome Land right now...

[Mizagium]

Knox grasped at the increasingly tenuous mental link. That leaves me as the only Immortal in here – aside from Zais. Time seemed to slow as he considered his option, although he wasn’t sure if he was actually affecting the flow or not. Zais had a habit of disappearing and popping up where and whenever he wanted. He wasn’t a coward, not like Karzem, but Zais wasn’t a fool, either. Darkness was a slippery element. But Zais had attacked this time. Before he had contented himself to use proxies and corruption – which he still had done in the form of his miniboss squad – but he had lead the charge himself, this time.

I don’t know what the right course of action is, Artemis. I don’t know if Zais will flee or not. He’s unpredictable. Mad. Heimrall is in here with me – and so is the Seraph soldier lady. Provided no one dies, I can time-heal….I think.

Everyone was so scattered right now. No one was coordinating. He needed a unified push to make this worthwhile. Do it, Artemis. Seal the region off. If something…if it all goes wrong…it’s my fault. Do it.

-

The barrier was pretty solid, but not completely sealed yet. Porous enough for two unseen, wraith-like figures to push through: one a writhing mass of Darkness and rage, the other a gleaming form of Light and honor.

“Zzzzaaaaiiissss…” the Darkness hissed, “I’m commmminnngg ffooorr yooouuu…”

-

Veritaz grimaced. That wasn’t exactly what he had in mind. A palace ninja guard appeared at his side, wearing a questioning frown. “It’s fine,” Veritaz sighed. “They’re helping with security.”

The ninja frowned deeper when he saw Leon sitting there.

“Tell the others.”

With another uncertain glance, the ninja vanished to tell the other Thundercougerfalconbirds.

Veritaz gathered himself and tried to look amiable. Now that that’s out of the way, would you like something to eat? Drink? I think I’ll have a calming tea myself.” And a steaming cup appeared in his hand, the faintest of blurs having entered, circled the room, and vanished.

-

The royals let Emily have her moment and conferred between themselves.

“Are you sure you’re going to be alright alone, dear?” Francine asked of her husband.

He scowled. “I should be asking you that.”

She gave him a long-suffering look and said, “Please no wild parties with the ninjas this time.”

“That only happened once!”

“Speaking of ninjas…why are uniformed men and women stealing our valuables?” A handwritten note was slipped into each of their hands. “Leon. Hmph. Well, I suppose Veritaz knows what he’s doing.”

Randolph shrugged and stuffed his note into a pocket. “I wonder what’s keeping Ms. Robertson?”

[Monika]

Artemis' eyes started glowing even more brightly than usual as she clasped her hands and shouted "DIMENSIONAL SEAL!"

Pushing her Spatial Seal technique to its absolute limit, she formed an impenetrable barrier around Knox, Zais, and the other combatants in the area. This was a tier above her ordinary sealing techniques - the only way to ensure that a fellow Immortal would not be able to bypass it. This power came at a price, however. She would have to rely on her instinct to tell when to release the barrier, and she wouldn't be able to warp in and help Knox if he needed it. She wouldn't even know if he needed help in the first place. She simply had to trust that he was capable enough of taking care of the situation himself.

'Good luck, Knox...'

And with that final thought, she poured the rest of her concentration and energy into maintaining the seal.

---

"What a hospitable ninja!" Leon chuckled. "I think I'll take a cup of tea, too. It isn't too often I get to just sit back and relax, you know? Between running a business and hosting television and going on profitable adventures, there just never seems to be enough time in the day."

A female member of the ECEF walked by holding what was very obviously a magical mirror. "Mr. Veralice," she said. "We are putting the objects back after placing the Y-patches, yes?"

"Hmm? Yeah, yeah. Put the things back."

The ECEF member and nodded and ran back off screen.

"You know, I never was able to figure out how that thing worked...Anyway, while we wait for my team to do their job, tell me about yourself! Half the reason I go out on adventures is to meet people. I'll get bored if I just sit here watching Omnistar employees rob the palace."

---

Amelia glanced over at King Randolph, who seemed to be getting just a tad impatient. All she had to do was make a single call and she could finally be done with the mission that had been holding her up for so long. Why, then, did she feel so uneasy about making that call?

Awesome Land has been at the center of one disaster or another for thousands of years.

Those were the words her father said before sending her on this quest to monitor to country, and they were as true then as they were now. It started with the land captain and dino guy trying to break into the empire, but what if the situation had escalated since then?

Oh no oh no I really need to make this call so I can have the queen over for dinner but what if I call and it's a really bad time and the empire is under siege and the emperor is upset that I would try to worry about dinner when there are bigger problems or worse I escort the queen there and she ends up in danger and I end up having to use my ninja skills to protect her and I blow my cover and lose my job and have to return to Shadow Land and disappoint my father and never get my own country?

As per usual, Amelia managed to dismiss the garbled mess of thoughts in less than a second and took a deep breath. It'll be fine. I just need to make the call. Then I'll make a new plan depending on the results of that call. Here goes...

Grabbing the communicator badge from her pocket, she tapped it a couple of times and put it up to her lips.

"Emperor Awesome," she spoke. "It's Emily."

"Ah." Amelia was greeted by an exhausted-sounding emperor. "How may I help you, Emily? Please don't tell me you've seen more strange happenings that I'll have to deal with."

"No, sir. How are things going in Awesome Land right now?"

"Well, my capital city and the surrounding areas are completely empty right now, I have what probably amounts to several million Verabucks' worth of property damage to repair, and a band of adventurers is fighting the Immortal of Darkness not too far from here as we speak." There was a brief pause. "I guess you could say I've had better days."

Amelia glanced back over at King Randolph. "Glad to hear it!" she said, her tone uncharacteristically cheerful.

"You're glad to...what?"

"Yes, glad to hear things are going so well, Emperor. I'm over here in Really Cool Land, per your request, and I'm with the king and queen as we speak."

Emperor Awesome caught on to her meaning fairly quickly. "I see. Am I on speaker badge right now?"

"No, sir."

"You're a very clever one. What's the status?"

"There was a small incident here and the king would like to stay behind to keep an eye on the country, but Queen Francine was more than happy to accept your invitation."

There was a longer pause this time, and Amelia could tell that the emperor was looking over the city, considering just how well-suited things were to hosting foreign royalty.

"...Wonderful," he finally said. "She doesn't want to come over now...does she?"

"I'll ask."

Amelia placed the badge back in her pocket and walked back up to Queen Francine. "Your Majesty," she said, bowing slightly, "Emperor Awesome is overjoyed that you have accepted his invitation. Because you are his guest, he would like you to name the time that would work best for your visit, and he will accommodate you accordingly."

Please pick a good time, she thought, though her expression showed no sign of her inner worry.

[Monika]

Suddenly the telepathic link between Artemis and Knox opened up again, which Knox probably found quite strange. After all, Artemis did say that sealing the dimension would weaken the link - if the link remained at all - yet somehow the connection seemed stronger than ever. Even stranger, though, was the fact that a third party was speaking over it.

"Hello?" the new voice spoke, sounding particularly warm and friendly. Definitely not Artemis.

"Uh...Hello?" Knox tentatively answered.

"Hi! I was just calling to ask if you're a supporter of the Awesome Land military."

"Err, well, they're helping in the fight against Zais, so...I guess...?"

"Great!" the voice replied. "Are you a supporter of the Marine Corps?"

"Sure? Just who am I-"

"Great! Because a former decorated member of the Awesome Land Marine Corps needs your support, and HER NAME IS SERAPHINA! SHE'S GONNA GET IN THE RING AND PUT BOOTS TO ASSES THIS WEEKEND AT THE D.W.A.R.F. SUUUUUUUUUUUUPEEEEEEEEEER SLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!!!"

AND PUT BOOTS TO ASSES SHE DID.

The skies above the would-be battlefield parted and a chorus of angels rapped in joy as the creator goddess of Awesome Land, the one and only Seraphina, descended from the heavens, through the dimensional seal, and onto the ground between Knox and Zais.

"Your time is up, my time is now
You can't see me, my time is now
It's the franchise, boy I'm shining now
You can't see me, my time is now!"

In a celestial voice that only a goddess could speak in, Seraphina said, "I have grown tired of all the havoc you have brought to my world, Zais. Since no one else seems to be capable of stopping you, it's time that I resolved this myself, the only way I know how."

Seraphina clapped her hands twice, and the remnants of the Underboob melted and reformed themselves into an enormous steel cage, enclosing Zais and the goddess within. Then, without warning, Seraphina ripped off her immaculate white robes, revealing bulging pectoral muscles, biceps, and eight pack abs. Also, she was wearing shades.

"I think you need...an attitude adjustment." And with nothing more to say, Seraphina hoisted Zais over her shoulders and threw him down onto the cage floor so hard that he died. As the crowd of angels cheered around her, she grabbed a shadowy black orb that rose from Zais' body - the essence of the Immortal of Darkness - and put it into the D.W.A.R.F. Championship Belt that had appeared around her waist. In an instant, she had teleported to Dace, who was probably confused (or resigned to such ridiculous occurrences happening on a regular basis).

"Here, Dace," she said, whipping the Championship Belt off and thrusting it into him. "I think you're supposed to be the next Immortal of Darkness, so have fun. I'll probably be back to kill you soon."

And with her job as literal deus ex machina over, she put her shining robe back on and ascended into the heavens, taking her angels and steel cage with her.