Awesome Land II: The War of Four Kings [archive]

[Mizagium]

I feel that Michael's post in the last thread pretty much wraps up the events that have occurred so far. Go read it if you haven't already. It sort of ends things at a cliffhanger like at a movie or something:

"Men!" Xero began. "This is a dark day! Five armies clash! We must not be outdone! We march to arms against the Time Keeper! Do not let his dark powers daunt you! We will not back down! We march to war! To end tyranny! To freedom!" A loud cheer started as Xero finished his motivational speech, drowning out Xero's command of "Move out!" The massive army took up their arms and marched towards the dark clouds, with Xero and Phantom at the head of the army. To center of the storm. To the source of the greatest evil in Awesome Land. To the Vanity Mirror.

We have entered the dawn of a saga. What started as a quest to take over McJimmy's has since turned into an epic war over control of Awesome Land. Veralice has been dethroned and four artifacts can determine the fate of a young girl. As such, I hereby decree this new thread:


[glow=red,2,300]
Awesome Land 2: The War of Four Kings[/glow]

[Mizagium]

Veralice heard the call to arms and disguised himself using what power he could. He hid himself amongst the army of Xero and Phantom, all the while thinking 'Since I'm no longer considered royalty I guess I can join up with the good guys now...' Dante disguised himself similarly and followed behind Veralice, deeming this the safest way to take down the Time Keeper and help Salvatore.

[Mizagium]

"Captain Xero!" came a voice from the brigade.

Xero stopped. A young boy of about 15 approached him. He was carrying what appeared to be a staff. The boy stopped in front of Xero and put one hand on his knee, bending over to catch his breath, and held the Stick out to Xero in his other hand. Xero took the Stick from the boy.

"This was left for you, sir," gasped the boy. "And this note came with it." He handed Xero the note.

Xero scanned the note, then shoved it in his pocket. "Thank you," he said to the boy. "What's your name?"

"I'm Teharlu," said the boy, drawing himself back up to his full height now that he had recovered his breath.

"Thank you, Teharlu," said Xero. "I hereby promote you to Lieutenant."

Teharlu beamed. "Thank you, sir!" He bowed eagerly, then ran back to his place in the army.

"Teharlu!" Xero called. Teharlu stopped in his tracks and turned to face his promoter. "It seems you are now weaponless. Catch!" He tossed his spear to Teharlu, who caught the spear in both hands. The boy experimented with the spear, twirling it above his head a few times, then jamming the butt end into the ground. He grinned at Xero, who smiled grimly and nodded. Teharlu turned around and ran back to take his new position as Lieutenant.

Now they were ready.

[Mizagium]

the Time Keeper spoke to Jango, Boba, and Trace. Each was to assassinate a powerful leader within the opposing armies. He sent Jango Fett after Phantom. He sent Boba Fett after Veralice, and Trace after Walter and Taenas. They left.

The Time Keeper moved to the roof of the Clock Tower to watch this War unfold. OMEGA RIDLEY stood, towered rather, beside him. OMEGA RIDLEY was now almost entirely infused with the Null-Void. And, consequently, Sarah was now a part of him.

Motevator666 was not being annoying so, he would leave him alone. He called several battalions of Chrono Warriors. He directed two for Walter & Taenas, and Narrator since he was there. He also sent two each for Phantom and Veralice.

OMEGA RIDLEY rawr'd loudly as he spotted a figure moving through his troops...

[Mizagium]

When Motevator666 relized his speeches were doing nothing he went to the closest bathroom and put on a huge black cloak

when he can back out he reached into is robe pocket and pulled out two items

1. a red light saber
2. a communication divice

he pulled the communication divice up to his face and said

"execute order 66............i mean 666"

immediately a huge explosion rang out, and you guessed it

his clone army entered Awesome land

and they we on one mission, and one mission alone. kill and conquer

[Mizagium]

the figure moved swiftly through his army. The Chrono Warriors tried to stop it but were too slow. The figure moved towards the Tower and suddenly RAN UP THE SIDE OF IT!!!

The Time Keeper held OMEGA RIDLEY back as this figure moved toward him. Time Keeper held his staff tighter and prepared for a fight, but got none.

The figure stood up straighter, it was only four feet tall, had spiky black hair with red stripes in it. It wore red shoes. The Time Keeper was intrigued. "Who are you?"

"I am Shadow the Hedgehog!" the figure declared.

"Hmm, you are very fast...you don't seem to want to kill me...how would you like to be a lieutenant?"

"Okay."

"Good, now..." Time Keeper spotted Motevator666's army advancing. "Take brigade 43 and destroy Motevator666's pathetic army."

"It shall be done my lord." Shadow leaped down. The brigade fell into line behind him and they moved out.

[Mizagium]

Taenas and Emperor Walter stared at Narrator and said "We must return to our tower. We've other problems to deal with." With those words they ascended to the top of the ridiculously large Dark Hole Headquarters. Using Veralice's observatory they stared off into the distance toward the Clock Tower.

[Mizagium]

suddenly motevator666 noticed something, he turned to the clone commander and said

"where are the orbital cruisers"? "and why is less than 1% of our troops here"

"sir, we've already been over this they take 2 hours more to get here, which by now should be in 3. 2. 1."

suddenly in the the sky overhead hundereds of imperial class star destroyers came out of large portals, within seconds the destroyers started releaseing clone drop ships numbering in the millions

and they wernt just headed for where the insertion battalian was.

there mission............ was to take over all of awesome land

and there isnt a single force that could stop them
(unless all the other armies got together to defeat a common enemy)


"NOW THATS HOW I LIKE IT" exclaimed Motevator666

[Mizagium]

The Clock Tower now loomed high over head. The Freedom Army gawked at the 9002 stories of pure AWESOME and terror. Xero looked up and saw the Time Keeper, observing his work from the edge of the enormous tower. Xero called for the army to halt before they came out from the cover of the woods.

"General Arlen, take half of the brigade with you and go around to the back of the Tower," Xero ordered. "Find an entrance, or make one. Once you've infiltrated the Tower, go immediately to the roof. General Wingald, take the other half and scatter throughout the woods. Do your best to blend into the scenery and DON'T be discovered. Teharlu, Captain Rowlek will be your Unit Captain (OH NOEZ! NOT A UNIT CAPTAIN!). You will be his assistant. Phantom and I will go straight through the front gate (that's right: the Clock Tower now has a front gate) and try to reach the Time Keeper on the roof. You know your tasks. Fall out!"

Captain Rowlek and Lieutenant Teharlu moved their troops further back into the woods and began dispersing among the trees silently. General Arlen took his half of the brigade and marched through the woods around to the back of the Tower. There was a door. Not surprising. A smart ruler always has an escape route. There were two guards at the door. Ten at a time, the army rolled out from the cover of the brush and sidled up against the side wall of the Tower. General Arlen emitted a harsh whistle, and the guards fell to the ground, stunned. Good ol' Wingald, that old wizard. He sure knew how to make a stun dart. Arlen signaled to his men to move quickly to the door, and they hurried through the unguarded door silently.

Xero and Phantom, now alone, went straight for the front door. Moments before they left the woods, Phantom disappeared. The Blur made its reappearance, and Xero and the Blur passed through the front gate. At the massive wooden doors, two guards crossed their spears in a stereotypical manner and demanded, "Halt! Who goes there?"

".... Special delivery?" said Xero, hoping they would fall for it.

The guards stared at him, unmoving.

"Pizza?" Xero tried again.

The guards' eyes lit up immediately. "Oh, boy! PIZZA!" They lunged at Xero, looking for the box full of delicious bread covered with tomato sauce, cheese, pepperonis and sausages. "There better not be any anchovies!" one guard warned warned. "I hate anchovies!" The two guards, unable to find the pizza box, looked dejectedly at one another. Then, realizing that they had been tricked by the man in the cloak standing in front of them, they glared at Xero and pointed their spears at him. They roared and charged at him. But both guards tripped and dropped their spears. The spears were consumed in a Blur, and the guards were suddenly tied together with a thick rope. Xero stepped over the guards and called back, "Pizza's on me!"

[Mizagium]

"Hmm...It appears that a large group is attempting to take down the source of that tower over there. We shall assist them, Taenas." Walter said. Walter hopped on top of Dimen and prepared to depart.

"Does my dragon have a name?" asked Taenas randomly. He didn't want to feel left out.

"Yes, he does. Back in the dimension Veralice banished me too all of the dragons have a nice society where everyone is named. Yours happens to be named Crimson as he is a fire dragon. Good luck with him. Treat him as you would any other person. Dragons are technically above us on the evolution chart. Ah, that reminds me!" Emperor Walter said. He called the members of the Dark Hole Academy, approximately one third of the population. Warping to his old dimension, he returned with large dragons for each of them.

"Shall we go then?" Taenas asked, getting on top of Crimson carefully.

"Yes. You have all been called here to wage war against all who try to dethrone us! We attack now!" the emperor declared. At warp speed he led the Dragon Riders off toward the Clock Tower to battle the Time Keeper.
_______________________________________________________

Meanwhile, Veralice was having trouble figuring out which group to go with. He decided to turn invisible again and follow Xero so he could go directly to the source of the problem.

[Mizagium]

Cha Cha, now in Ausum Land, approached the Ausum Palace. The guards made way for him, as he was a hero throughout Ausum Land. As Cha Cha passed through the doorway, Salvatore was stopped by one of the guards.

"Halt!" the guard said. "Remove your weapons! No weapons are permitted within the Ausum Palace!"

"It's okay, Dennis," Cha Cha said to the guard. "He's with me."

Dennis looked at Cha Cha, then back at Salvatore and reluctantly lowered his spear. As Salvatore ran to catch up with Cha Cha, Cha Cha looked up into the sky. WHAT WAS THAT!! There appeared to be a mass of giant birds descending around the area of Awesome Land. Cha Cha squinted and concentrated hard on the objects in the sky. Salvatore turned to see what Cha Cha was looking and nearly lost his composure at the fearsome sight of hundreds of Imperial Star Cruisers releasing thousands of clone drop ships on Awesome Land. The "birds" appeared to be "pooping" in massive quantities all around Awesome Land. Cha Cha knew he had to hurry. He whipped around and ran into the palace.

"Queen Crider!" he called urgently, hastily dropping to one knee on the cold stone floor. "I have an important message from your servants, the Watsrobes!"

[Mizagium]

Motevator666 knew he was missing somthing as he often does, then he exclaimed

"OHH YEA I NEED AN EPIC BASE"

he pulled out his Communication device and screamed " EXICUTE ORDER.....uhh uhh BUILD ME AND EPIC BASE"

immediatly after one of the destroyers decended upon awesomeland and converted into a epic stronghold of evil in the dead center of awesomeland (crushing whatever was there before)

Motevator666 called to the clone commander "go kill whatever those guys are tring to do"
as soon as the commander replied Motevator666 caught a dropship and started on his way to the new FOEG (Fotress of evil glory)

[Mizagium]

They had reached the 1000th floor of the Clock Tower. Arlen peered around the corner to make sure it was safe. The coast was clear. He stepped out from the stairway and began to ascend the next flight of steps. His legion passed the 1000th floor uneventfully, as well as the 1001st all the way through the 2999th. Then, on the 3000th floor, as Arlen began checked around the corner, he saw four guards sitting around a table in the hallway. They were playing Go Fish, as they had nothing better to do in this time of war. They seemed occupied enough. Arlen slipped onto the next flight of stairs. But, apparently, the guards had come from one of the upper floors, and one of them had been snacking on Doritos and had dropped a handful on the stairs. Arlen stepped on a Dorito, which proceeded to make a loud crunching noise. The guards snapped to attention, turning from their pointless card game to see Arlen and his legion.

"Hey!" one of the guards yelled drunkenly. He pointed at Arlen, a bottle of beer in his hand, while holding his cards in the other. "You can't be up here!"

The other guards, too drunk to even turn around, just slumped down in their chairs and muttered words of agreement and support. But none of the guards took any action against the Freedom Army, and they never remembered any of what just happened. Arlen and his legion continued up the stairs, ascending all the way up to the 7000th floor. They past a few more guards, but they were all either drunk, apathetic, or inattentive.

On the 7000th floor, Arlen spotted more guards in the hallway. All of them seemed to be asleep, so Arlen continued up the stairs. But one of the guards snapped awake just as the Freedom Army began to follow Arlen to the 7001st floor.

"Hey!" he yelled. This guard was the first one they had seen in all 7000 floors that was not asleep, drunk, or uncaring. "Stop!" He kicked and shoved his companions to wake them up, then ran after Arlen. The Freedom Army, however, would not allow this. They fought valiantly to defend their Commander. They devised an orderly system in which ten men would push the guards farther down the hallway, then ten men would follow Arlen, then ten more men would split off into the hallway, then ten more would continue to climb the Tower. The guards were surprisingly well trained. The five guards managed to kill about twenty men.... Each. But they were soon overwhelmed by sheer strength in numbers. The guard who had noticed them was the last to fall. He fell to his knees, at the mercy of the Freedom Army. He closed his eyes and swallowed. Then his beheaded body slumped to the ground next to his companions. The survivors from the Freedom Army wiped the blood from their weapons on the dead guards' clothes, took the guards' spears and money, then returned to the stairs to join their Commander on the 7500th floor.

[Mizagium]

Ausum Palace: Time Keeper's War: Day 1: Evening

"I've been informed by an anonymous source," began Queen Crider, "that Awesome Land has been thrown into utter chaos..... lol wut when is it not in utter chaos!!11?one!"

"That is correct, Your Majesty," said Cha Cha, bowing his head humbly. "And I have a request. From all the Watsrobes."

"Rise, Trumpet Hero," commanded the Queen. "And what might that request be?"

"Awesome Land is entering the greatest civil war in the history of all mankind," he began. "The War of Four Kings has begun. Emperor Veralice, of Awesome Land, has been overthrown, and Walter Myolter has declared himself Emperor and has amassed a citizen army. The Time Keeper, the former adviser to the Mambutoo O'Malleys of the Kingdom of Really Cool, has become Corrupted with the Power of the Vanity Mirror, and has created a massive army of the Vainguard (like Vanguard, but from the Vain because they're from the Vanity Mirror). A man by the name of Motevator666 is attempting to take over all of Awesome Land as well, using MOTEvational speeches and boring anecdotes. My father and brother are building an army of Freedom Fighters to fight to end all the tyranny and chaos Awesome Land has been going through for so many years. Veralice... well, I'm not sure what he's doing right now. It seems that, as Walter, the Time Keeper, and Motevator666 are all our common enemies, Veralice is likely to have joined forces with my father and brother. At least, until he has grown strong enough to regain control and reclaim his title as Emperor of Awesome Land."

"I see," said Queen Crider, mulling over all the information that had just been thrown at her. "Now, I ask again: what is your request?"

"I request aid from the Ausum Army. It would be most appreciated if the Queen of Ausum Land would ally with my family and the Royal Family of Really Cool against the forces of tyranny. I would like to take a regiment of your finest men to assist my father."

The Queen thought over this for a few minutes.

"Your Highness," Cha Cha added, "the Time Keeper has the Princess of Really Cool!" This caught the Queen's attention. "Veralice stole the Beauty Mirror from the Mambutoo O'Malley's a year ago, and Princess Sarah went after him. The Prince, Johnny, had, as a child, beaten their adviser with one of the Artifacts of Wisdom: the Ugly Stick. The man was transformed into a clock. Thus the name the Time Keeper. The Time Keeper had escaped to Awesome Land after his run in with Johnny. He encountered Sarah when she arrived there, seeking out Veralice. Seeking revenge, the Time Keeper trapped the Princess in the Veral Dimension, dangerously close to the Null Void. But when the Time Keeper took the Vanity Mirror, he brought back a beast by the name of RIDLEY, who merged with the Null Void. The beast is currently consuming the Veral Dimension, and Sarah is doomed to fade into the Null Void forever. I need a regiment of your finest men to stop him and to free the Princess!"

Now anxious to help at hearing this news, Queen Crider's voice boomed out, "COMMANDER LACQUER! PREPARE THE PHANTOM REGIMENT!!"

[Mizagium]

Narrator realized that everyone had an army but him. Looking into his past, he contemplated what army he could raise...

Narrator was born once. He was never a baby however, because babies suck. He went from zero to awesome the second he was born. He came into the world with abs of steel, a beard, a six-pack, and a bat. He then hit the doctor with the bat, claiming that he "doesn't like to be touched." Narrator didn't have a childhood. He was too cool for that.

Narrator, realizing he was incredibly awesome, proceeded to wander the world doing shit. First, he encoutered Sparta under King Leonidas. Narrator taught the Spartans the ways of having abs of steel. The Spartans, eternally grateful, fought the Persians in honor of Narrator. Narrator helped a little, but the Spartans lost the battle when Narrator got bored and took a nap. Narrator obliterated the Persian army in retribution.

Narrator moved on to wander once again. He then encoutered some up-and-coming youngster named Jesus. Narrator saw potential in the youth and gave him the gift of beard. Jesus went on to do some stuff, but Narrator had already left for China.

In China, Narrators disregard for physics and history led him to build the Great Wall in 3.14159 days. It only took that long because he had to kill all the people to stuff the wall with. Narrator's a free-mason.

Narrator continued in his wanderings, doing nothing particularly important, until America started calling his name. Narrator noticed that freedom was particularly abundant in the region, and took control of the colonial army in the Revolutionary War. Many think that George Washington led our soldiers to victory in that war. They are wrong. Narrator also blessed Benjamin Franklin with the gift of pimp. Benjamin Franklin was the greatest pimp the world has ever know, other than Narrator.

Narrator chilled in America for a while, until the Commies started acting up. Narrator didn't like the Commies, so he prompted the American's to be especially free to make up the the Communists' lack of freedom. The world was therefore kept in balance due to Narrator's adherence to the Law of Conservation of Freedom.

Many years passed, until Hollywood began casting for the show "Walker Texas Ranger" that is now the stuff of legend. Narrator went for the role, making his Hollywood name Chuck Norris. Narrator landed the role with ease and began kicking ass on national television.

[Mizagium]

Later, the Commies started acting up again. Narrator crushed their insolence and forced Gorbechev to sign a treaty with America. Reagan took credit for this accomplishment. Reagan isn't alive anymore.

The rest, as they say, is history. This history is written down in the epic tale, Freedom is Here. Read it, IF YOU DARE.

[Mizagium]

Clock Tower: Time Keeper's War: Day 2: Dawn

Xero climbed the last of those infernal stairs in the Clock Tower and kicked the door down, bursting out onto the roof behind the Time Keeper. He looked around, noting the myriad clocks and watches hanging in midair all around the Tower, the Vanity Mirror in the corner in front of the Time Keeper, and the Perverted Fat Guy running around, waving his arms in a manner befitting a roflcopter and saying, rather loudly, "VVVRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!"

He looked back at the Vanity Mirror and saw the Blur moving behind the Mirror as the Time Keeper turned around, finally acknowledging Xero's presence.

"Time Keeper!" Xero exclaimed. "Your not-so-long reign of not-so-much-terror-and-tyranny-as-much-as......wait-you-haven't-done-anything-yet ends now!!"

[Mizagium]

Ausum Land Harbor: Time Keeper's War: Day 2: Dawn

Cha Cha, having rested for the night, woke Salvatore and began preparing their ship to set sail. The Special Royal Navy had burnt when it was struck by lightning off the coast of Ausum Land in a fierce thunderstorm, so Queen Crider had provided a new ship. The name Poltergeist was painted in bright gold on the side of the ship. This was the famous ship used by the Phantom Regiment whenever they were called to assist the Ausum Navy. He walked up the ramp and boarded the Poltergeist. Cha Cha had sailed on the Poltergeist many times with his father and brother as a child. He rubbed the wood on the side of the ship and smelled the sweet oak. Waves sloshed against the ship and sea spray rose in a mist into his face. He had always loved the sea.

Cha Cha threw his stuff into the Captain's quarters, then began securing the sails while Salvatore went to wake the Regiment. Colonel Lacquer arrived a few minutes later with two steaming rolls in his hands. He tore off a bit of one with his mouth and handed the other to Cha Cha. He examined the sails with the eye of a seasoned sailor as he let the soft bread dissolve in his mouth. He checked the mast sail and patted the rope, then turned to Cha Cha.

"Ah, what has the world come to?" he said. "Your father and I used to have great adventures in the Regiment. We would sail off to distant lands, including Awesome Land, Really Cool, and even Beethaven, that great continent on the far side of Awesome Land. But now we can't travel between continents without having a run-in with a corrupted ruler." He swallowed the last of his roll and wiped his hands. He adjusted his uniform and looked off toward Awesome Land. "Ah, well. Maybe one day the world will find peace." He looked over his shoulder at Cha Cha. "Eh?"

Cha Cha finished his roll. "You never know," he said.

"Permission to board, Commander!" came a shout. Lacquer looked over the edge of the ship and saw Salvatore and the Phantom Regiment standing, waiting, in full uniform, weapons sheathed and in their various belts. "Aye!" yelled Lacquer. "Permission granted!"

"HUH!!" the soldiers shouted. It felt as if the entire ship shook at the sound of the massive Regiment's response. The soldiers began to board the Poltergeist as Salvatore swung onto the ship from a rope to join the old friends. Within minutes, the ship was packed: crew members were packed tight below decks; the main deck was teaming with Phantom followers, scrambling about, climbing the rigging to the crow's nest, rushing to the wheel, taking stations at the sails.

Then the command came, loud and authoritative, "WEIGH ANCHORS!! Set course for Awesome Land!" and they were moving.

[Mizagium]

Narrator looked at other high points in his past...

In Ireland, Narrator taught the violent, drunken denizens of the isle to dance. They honor his teachings to this day.

In Baghdad, Narrator brought democracy, but we already knew that.

In Canada, Narrator planted the seeds of the secret totalitarian government in place today. Narrator doesn't like the Canadians.

Narrator kicked all the ass there ever was in India. That's why Ghandi was so scared of violence.

Narrator's one epic quest, however, had yet to be completed. He needed to find his equal in defying physics in creative ways. Until he did that, he couldn't be at peace with himself. Will Narrator ever find his equal in awesome?

Looking back at his many memories, Narrator realized something. He already had an army. An army of one ass-kicking superdude.

"Hail to the king baby," Narrator said, dressed like Duke Nukem, cigar and all. He went through the costume change while remniscing. "Now, it's TIME TO KICK ASS AND CHEW BUBBLE GUM, AND I'M ALL OUT OF ASS." With that inevitable statement out of the way, Narrator set off for the Clock Tower.

[Mizagium]

motevator666 was sitting in his empire style chair reading character reports, when all the sudden his communication device started beeping. he quickly answered it with a booming

"yes, master"

a dark figure turned and said

"is the conquest of awesome land going well?"

motevator666 responded

"yes, master we are securing it now"

"good, im sending the 501st to you now. so that they can make SURE its done"
said the dark figure