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Post by Mizagium on Mar 30, 2011 17:52:52 GMT -5
idea logged for future reference.
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Post by Mizagium on Mar 30, 2011 20:23:21 GMT -5
and got a new review <3
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Post by TEAM_DERRICK on Mar 31, 2011 19:02:19 GMT -5
:3
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Post by Mizagium on Mar 31, 2011 19:09:01 GMT -5
and another. I'm really REALLY glad to be done with the Flashback arc.
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Post by Mizagium on Apr 3, 2011 14:41:12 GMT -5
I think Reznov (From the Call of Duty series) will appear at some point. As will Vladimir Putin. As emperor of the world.
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Post by TEAM_DERRICK on Apr 3, 2011 15:11:40 GMT -5
Isn't Jack due to show up soon?
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Post by Mizagium on Apr 3, 2011 15:20:05 GMT -5
Yep. Next chapter. Jack of Blades.
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Post by TEAM_DERRICK on Apr 3, 2011 15:28:41 GMT -5
OMG YES
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Post by Myrdraxxis on Apr 3, 2011 15:29:51 GMT -5
YES!
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Post by Mizagium on Apr 3, 2011 15:30:03 GMT -5
I just remembered that at some point, Solid snake is sent in to (try to) assassinate Kratos.
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Post by TEAM_DERRICK on Apr 3, 2011 15:39:50 GMT -5
ALSO GOOD
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Post by Mizagium on Apr 3, 2011 15:50:27 GMT -5
NERV
Kratos Aurion
Yuan Ka-Fai
Raine Sage
Sheena Fujibayashi
Kuchinawa
Colette Brunel
Richter Abend
Presea Combatir
Lloyd Irving
Asuka Langley Soryu
SEELE
Mithos Yggdrasil
Origin
Maxwell
Efreet
Undine
Sylph
Luna
Aska
Volt
Gnome
Celsius
Shadow
Committee for Human Instrumentality
Brute Lualdi
Alice
Decus
Hawke
Magner
Class 2-A
Marta Lualdi
Genis Sage
Emil Castagnier
Other
Flying Spaghetti Monster
Sergeant Avery Junior Johnson (Sarge)
Private Jenkins
God Tier
Pen Pen
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Post by Mizagium on May 2, 2011 13:31:02 GMT -5
So anyway out in the city a small rift in the fabric of reality occurred. A rift so small that hardly anyone noticed. Well, except that one guy who happened to be too close to the rift as it opened. He got pulled in and was never heard from again. But with Angels, Evangelions, and Sarge, one person missing wasn’t going to show up on anyone’s radar. In any case, when the rift closed, it left behind a mask. It was just sitting there, waiting to be picked up and put on. Just waiting…waiting…waiting…until finally some schmo walked by and picked up the mask. Now, see, I wasn’t there when this happened, so I can’t relay exactly what he said at the time, but I guess it went something like this.
“Oh holy shit a free mask! I should pick this up and put it on before someone else does! Lolololololol I’m such a dumbass!”
I don’t know; I’m not a doctor.
Whatever he said, the idiot put the mask on. Maybe it promised him candy that it had in the van around the corner. As soon as the unholy metal touched his face, he was possessed by an evil force. The power flowed all around him, clothing him in armor from head to foot, and draping over that armor a red cape. Because capes are cool.
The figure got unsteadily to its feet and stretched. Thousands of years of imprisonment will do that to a fellow. Beneath the mask, he smiled.
“Jack is back, arseholes.” He summoned the Sword of Aeons and gave it a few test swings. “Jolly good.”
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Post by TEAM_DERRICK on May 2, 2011 17:49:56 GMT -5
AWESOME. But for the sake of being in character, I think he'd say something more like:
"For your entertainment, Jack... is... BACK." Gives the sword a test swing, "Aaaah yesss, time to blind some orphans!"
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Post by Mizagium on May 2, 2011 17:52:52 GMT -5
I'll take the first one. but i've turned him into a delightfully insane Brit. Also, he just summoned Spyro the Dragon.
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Post by TEAM_DERRICK on May 2, 2011 18:04:00 GMT -5
... I'm okay with this. Just note that I've never heard Jack utter any British slang.
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Post by Mizagium on May 2, 2011 18:13:32 GMT -5
Well, I can tell you that I have never played Fable. So I win. :3
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Post by TEAM_DERRICK on May 2, 2011 18:32:07 GMT -5
alright :0
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Post by Mizagium on May 2, 2011 18:33:40 GMT -5
“For your entertainment, Jack... is...BACK.” He summoned the Sword of Aeons and gave it a few test swings. “Jolly good.”
Did I say evil? I meant badass.
Jack of Blades gave the city a cursory once-over. “Curious. This doesn’t seem to be Albion, but then the Void does connect to an infinite number of parallel dimensions, so I suppose I should be grateful that I ended up in a habitable universe, eh?” After all, there was no reason that he couldn’t create a cult that worshipped him in this universe, right? Damn straight!
“Now, let’s see, my mind is a bit muddled from interdimensional travel and possessing an inferior mortal, so I can’t quite remember what I wanted to do. Luckily, I wrote down the steps to world domination.” He shook his head. “And just who the devil am I talking to?”
His notes took the form of a clipboard with elegant, flowing script on the front piece of paper.
“Step 1: Summon a dragon.” He blinked. “That’s step one? Really? Well, alright. The clipboard says so.”
He took the Sword of Aeons in hand and jammed it into the space between dimensions, opening a portal to a universe where dragons existed.
-
Elsewhere…
It was a rainy day in the Artisan Relam, and a young, purple dragon was busy chasing sheep around. You know, because dragons eat sheep. “Is this rain ever going to stop?” he asked his dragonfly companion. “I’ve forgotten what the sun looks like. We should go on vacation: somewhere warm, somewhere sunny.”
He spied a portal just over the hill.
“Dragon Shores! Yeah, I haven’t been there since we kicked Gnasty Gnorc’s butt. How ‘bout it, Sparx, you up for a vacation?”
The dragonfly zoomed off, as if saying “Of course, you dumbass.”
“Last one there’s a Gnorc!” And the two companions dived headfirst into the portal.”
-
Jack hmphed as the tiny purple form tumbled out of his dimensional rift.
“Hi! Which way to the…beach?”
Jack stared. Hard.
“What? You’ve never seen a dragon before?”
“Oh, I’ve seen dragons,” Jack replied. “Huge, ferocious creatures, with wingspans that block out the sky, claws the can rend mountains, and fire that makes the sun seem like an oil-lamp by comparison. I have ridden such ferocious beings and conquered entire civilizations – and then slaughtered them at my leisure. You, my pint-sized reptile, are no dragon.”
“Am so! Sparx and I defeated Gnasty Gnorc and his army and freed all of the adult dragons from imprisonment.”
Jack massaged his temples. “Ok. Let’s assume you are a dragon. Can you breathe fire?”
“Duh.” He inhaled deeply (already a red flag in Jack’s mind; dragons shouldn’t need to do that) and expelled a cone of fire about three feet in front of him.
“That was awful. I can make better fire with magic. In my sleep.” He sighed. “Can you fly?”
“Well, I can glide.”
“What.”
“If I get a running start, I can glide.”
Jack facepalmed. The dimensional rift sealed up with a belching sound. “I hate this, but I guess you’ll have to do.” Reluctantly, he crossed Step 1 off of the list. There weren’t any more steps after that one. His plans began and ended at dragons. Because dragons are fucking awesome. Except this one. This one was sickeningly adorable.
“Delightful. Follow me, would you?” They started off in a random direction. “Tell me, tiny flying reptile, what do they call you?”
“Spyro. And the dragonfly is Sparx.”
“Lovely. I’ll call you whatever I bloody well please. I am Jack of Blades. You may call me Jack.”
“Uh huh. So, Jack, why did you bring me here?”
Jack uttered something between a sigh and a growl. “I didn’t summon you, but if you must know, I need your help to conquer the world.”
“Finally, someone recognizes my talents,” Spyro exclaimed.
“You haven’t listened to a word I said, have you?”
“You’re damn right I am! Let’s do this.”
“At least you have the correct mindset. Maybe I won’t disembowel you and divine the future from your entrails whilst simultaneously bathing in your blood. At least not for a while.”
-
Meanwhile in the world of Avalar…
Ripto conquered everything. The end.
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Post by TEAM_DERRICK on May 2, 2011 18:37:57 GMT -5
I nostalgiaed hard, laughed hard, nostalgiaed hard again, laughed hard agarin, repeat x5.
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