Awesome Land!: A Rebooted Story

[Sariel of Tevet]

Professor Calamitous bounced with joy.

"Are you the tooth fairy?!"

His darker side quickly took hold again, and honestly had no reply. He just sighed.

[Mizagium]

The leader snickered. "I'm afraid I don't much care what trouble you're in. My name is Fanz Zeiger, not that anyone asked, and I am the Ace of the New Organization XXI. IF you truly desire this Scroll, you're going to have to-"

BUT HE WAS SILENCE WITH A WELL-TIMED DROPKICK FROM GOLDBEZ. FULL HORIZONTAL. NO BACKSIES.

"AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FO' DAT!" HE DECLARED, HIS HORIZONTAL ATTACK TRANSITIONING INTO A BURT REYNOLDS POSE, THE SCROLL FALLING NICELY OVER HIS GROIN AREA. "THAT'LL BE TWO SCROLLS I'VE SECURED FOR YOU, HOT LIPS." HE PRESENTED IT TO HER. "I'M STILL WAITING ON THAT SMOOCH."

[Myrdraxxis]

Zais let out a big sigh. "Laaaaaaame." he said. "Fine whatever. I'll go back to taking over Centros I guess. At least I get to manipulate mooks there."

He turned to leave, then paused. "Oh and, for the record, I very surprised at how quickly William-what's-his-face went down. You should choose your minions a little better next time, Miss Space." With that Zais Dark Portalled the hell outta there.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


"Soooooo how many of these scrolls are left?" Azzi asked curiously. "Because while I'm sure I don't have anything better to do, a very large part of me is already sick of this quest."

[Calefrun]

"Well that was easy enough." Cale noted, "For a second there I thought he was going to make us go look for the Arc of the Covenant or some fiz like that. I'd rather avoid any more dealing with crazy number ladies or CGI King Ramseses."

[Monika]

"Ugh, just give me that!" Aurora snatched the Scroll and shoved it in her robe pocket. "Honestly, you'd be better off trying to get that kiss from Stella. She seems to be less disgusted by you and your team."

"Let's save all talk of kissing for after we save the world," Chancellor Awesome said, checking the Scroll Finder. "So far this thing hasn't been all that helpful. It didn't identify the first Scroll of Science to be the Professor's hat. We already knew where the second one was. And now the third has essentially just walked into our hands. I'm starting to wonder if Bill Nye has set us up..."

"Hold your tongue, Chancellor!" Aurora warned. "Bill Nye is a good, knowledgeable man. I doubt that he would deliberately sabotage our attempt to save the world."

"Well, it certainly wouldn't be the first time an Immortal has screwed someone over!" Chancellor Awesome yelled, quite unprofessionally. "The old Time Keeper nearly destroyed all of Awesome Land back when Leon was emperor. Artemis is probably beating Sarah to a pulp as we speak. And don't even get me started on Zais..."

"You're not STILL annoyed that I put him in charge of security, are you? He took out the leader of C.O.M.A.S and was pretty helpful during that war six months ago! He's more than proven himself, which is a lot more than I can say for the rest of you!"

"Hmph." Chancellor Awesome didn't bother saying anything else; this journey was taking a toll on both him and Aurora and further words would have just made things worse. Trying to resume his professional tone, he stuck the earpiece Blanche had given him onto his helmet, tapped it a few times and spoke. "I hope this thing has a large enough range...Hello, Miss Space Ninja? I'm afraid I don't have your name. Well, this is Chancellor Awesome. We've successfully secured 3 of the 7 Scrolls of Science, but the Scroll Finder has proven to be utterly useless. I'm not sure if you're as good at tracking scientific artifacts as you are at tracking us, but if you could offer your assistance once more we would greatly appreciate it." He waited for a response.
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And meanwhile, back in Awesome Land, so did Artemis.

[Mizagium]

Sarah did her best not to groan out loud. She also fought REALLY hard to keep her thoughts straight, seeing as how Artemis could apparently READ MINDS. Which is BULLFIZZ, but WHATEVER.

"Very well, Artemis," Sarah replied cooly. "Your terms are...well, I accept them." She shook Artemis' hand, meeting the Immortal's gaze.

-----

Blanche appeared in a cloud of Dark Energy, as per her usual entrance. Ignoring everyone else, she spoke to Chancellor Awesome. "Blackbody Forces are trained in the art of stealth, Chancellor. Not. Tracking." She snatched the tracker and looked it over. "That being said, I remember some of what Daar Lorra tried to teach us, so I can give it a shot."

She stepped away and fiddled with the Scroll Finder (mindlessly pushing buttons until something happened) and spoke absently. "We had to trace Cixer's energy signature across Far Out for weeks before we found him." The Finder pinged, registering the already located Scrolls. "Shouldn't have been too hard, at least Daar Lorra said so, but we gave off so much celestial energy that it almost fried her sensors. We spent more days than I like to admit chasing our own energy."

A few more pinged.

"I'm not exactly familiar with the geography here, but it's registering an energy source that way" she indicated the general area of Special Land "that way" Groovy Land "that way" north, past Fun Land "and...that way" farther west, beyond Groovy Land. "I listed them in order of relative closeness." She tossed him back the Finder. "Next time, turn off Shuffle."

[Monika]

"Very well, Sarah." Artemis blinked a few times and dispelled her magical eye glow before carefully placing the False Shield around Sarah's not-sword hand. "You are free to leave now. I will contact you when your court date has been established." She turned to walk away, making it a few steps before stopping dead in her tracks. "I have two final requests for you that are unrelated to your penance. First, if it is not too much trouble, I would like to use you as a research subject. I am completing postdoctoral studies and your acquisition of Null-Void based powers is fascinating. Worthy of an entire paper, if not a larger publication."

Artemis took a rather impressive looking typewritten list from her pocket and handed it to Sarah. "That is a list of my publications, if you're interested. If you come across one, hopefully you will find one and will be able to determine for yourself whether I am worthy of researching you. The process would mostly consist of my showing up at Really Cool Land every so often to perform tests and make observations. You are free to decline, of course. Despite my abilities, I will not teleport to your location and spy on you in secret."

At this point, Artemis could barely contain a blush, so she pulled her hood down even lower in an attempt to conceal it. "And that brings me to my second request. While probing your thoughts to calculate your success rate as future queen, I came across certain memories that indicate your intimacy with Knox." Artemis coughed. "Due to your close relationship, I estimate a 96% chance that he will visit you in the near future. When he does, please ask him to see me in Awesome Land. I have a proposition for him concerning the formation of a council."
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"Turn off Shuffle," Chancellor Awesome repeated, fastening the Scroll Finder around his neck. "I'll keep that in mind. Thank you, fair Space Ninja. You are a life saver."

"You really are. I very well might have destroyed someone if we didn't find another Scroll soon," Aurora chimed in. "Probably that one." She pointed at GOLDBEZ.

"So what should be our plan of attack, milady? And I suppose I should ask you all as well, Team Friendship." Chancellor Awesome, despite his distrust of the group, realized that they would have to work together to accomplish this goal. "There are four Scrolls left in the aforementioned directions. Shall we split up to find them, or would we be better off working together?" Please say 'split up'...

[Mizagium]

Sarah turned beet red and could only answer "Yes" to Artemis' questions. She didn't stick around long enough to realize the consequences of her actions, choosing instead to portal away before the situation got any worse.

-----

"Team Friendship, bast off at the speed of Fizz!" Stella declared, standing atop Goldbez's armor, juggling a few of his resident badgers.

Blanche sighed. "I can take someone with me to wherever. Getting there isn't a problem--you just might not be used to Dark Force energy. So bring a puke baggie."

[Calefrun]

"I... okay." Cale sighed and walked over to where Stella and GOLDBEZ were. He rolled for perception, and after a couple of seconds Xanthos appeared atop GOLDBEZ, seated next to Stella.

Realizing that he had been spotted, the hooded boy said, "Just... don't mind me, okay?"

[Sariel of Tevet]

"Split up you say? Mwahahahahaha!!!" Professor Calamitous tilted his skeleton head back and let out a newly perfect evil laugh. "I have been waiting on an excuse to do this forever!"

He pulled out a capsule from his pocket that was black on one side, and white on the other. He placed the ammunition inside of his science shooter and situated the barrel of the gun inside of his mouth. He mumbled, "Well, time to bite the bullet, as it were."

He pulled the trigger and his form became a shadow. The shadow had a white light in the center that spiraled outward until lept from the chest of the shadow, and began to form a second Professor Calamitous right before the group's very eyes.

"Hello everyone! I am the light side of Professor Calamitous, you can just call me the Professor." He was so benevolent in fact, that he actually made his skeleton smile. Seriously, overtly good here. He wore the same pinstripe suit with coat tails that his darker half wears, only rendered a white color. He also possessed an identical science shooter.

"Finally. I've been trying to get rid of that freak ever since my accident. Too bad he didn't end up with the rest of my body in the Null-Void. I suppose you may all just call me Calamitous now for simplicity's sake. I always hated teaching anyway. Alright so splitting up. Who wants to take the goody-goody with them? I'll go wherever the hell he isn't."

[Monika]

"Thank you, Sarah." Artemis waved as Sarah voided herself away, leaving the Immortal with a dead William, dead C.O.M.A.S members, still living dancing/exhausted/werewolf C.O.M.A.S members and quite a bit of property damage. "When I was searching their memories, I noticed that in every battle they've had, not a single one of them bothered to clean up afterward. How irresponsible," she thought aloud, flexing her hands once more. Time around the area returned to normal.

"Non-Immortal Class Time Technique: Reversion. Returns physical beings to the state they were in a specified amount of time before the technique's usage. Has a one hour cutoff period. Does not work on the deceased." With a grimace, Artemis motioned toward several of the living C.O.M.A.S members, and muttered "Forty-five minutes." The members that had collapsed from exhaustion rose from the ground at full strength. The werewolves reverted to their human forms (and gained any clothes they may have lost during the process). The dancing members (most of them, at least) lost the urge to dance.

One of the members, smiling, stepped forth and said, "Thank you, Lady Artemis."

"You're welcome." She weakly smiled back before adding "You're all expelled."

"Pardon, milady?"

"Mental analysis indicates that you correctly heard and processed what I just said. I won't repeat myself," Artemis replied.

"But, milady, what did we do wrong?" the member pleaded.

"You haven't done anything. In light of recent events, I have deemed it too dangerous for C.O.M.A.S to exist in its current state. As it is now, the organization is unlikely to accomplish its goals and puts the lives of all of its members at risk. It shall be disbanded."

"Lady Artemis, you can't do that!" A few members stepped forward to pipe in. "What are we supposed to do without the organization? If you-"

"Silence!" Her eyes flashed a bright white again. "With William's passing, I am the new Director of C.O.M.A.S, so I can do that. This is for the benefit of all our members. You are all talented mages. I am sure you will have no trouble finding work around the empire."

"But-"

"As the third Director of the Committee of Magicians Against Science, I hereby dissolve the organization in its entirety. Please do not make any further comments or inquiries regarding the matter."

Noticing the stern look in her eyes and the futility of arguing, the members (after a few grumbles of discontent) all nodded and walked away to find the next chapter of their lives.

"Now, then..." Artemis walked over to William's body and knelt down, assessing the damage. She took a small handkerchief from her pocket and wiped up the excess blood around his neck before tearing off a part of her robe sleeve and tying it around the area. Once she had satisfactorily hidden William's wound, she pointed at his body and said "Non-Immortal Class Time Technique: Stasis. Places a time shield around a specific target for the purpose of preserving its condition. Renders the target both immobile and, for a certain definition of the word, invulnerable." A thin layer of blue light appeared around William's corpse.

"Banishment," Artemis said. William's body disappeared into a dark, spacial vortex.

"Now for the fun part." She forced a laugh. "Visiting the Emperor..."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Well, I suppose I'll be traveling with-"

"Oh, no you don't Chancellor," Aurora laughed. "I'll be the one going with the life saving Space Ninja. Since you've done such an excellent job taking care of Team Friendship thus far, I'll leave them in your capable, armored hands." She hovered over toward Blanche, tightly grabbing onto her shoulder.

"But, but-"

"That's an order, Chancellor. Now go do your job before I get angrier," Aurora warned.

"Of course, milady..."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Artemis made it to the Second Imperial Tower in no time at all since, you know, she could teleport. Never one to intrude unannounced (except into people's minds during battle), she knocked on the massive wooden doors.

"Who is it?" answered a voice.

"Artemis," she said softly. "Artemis of C.O.M.A.S."

First there was a pause. A very, very long pause. And then...

"Ohmigod ohmigod OHMIGOD OHMIGOD!" It was the unmistakable voice of Leon's 7 year old child form. "If you're the real Artemis, please, by all means! Warp up to the observatory on the top floor!"

And so Artemis did. When she got there, she noticed an array of differently labeled telescopes, a couple posters, some video game consoles and a pair of sofas facing each other. Upon the furthest one sat the adult Leon Veralice with a book on his lap.

"No way! It really is you!" Leon shouted, still in his kid voice. Artemis deduced that he had lapsed into the voice out of excitement.

"Yes, I am indeed Artemis," she confirmed. "Good afternoon, Emperor Veralice."

Leon blushed very faintly. "Please, I haven't gone by that title in forever! Just call me the Temperor! Or Leon."

"Very well, Leon," Artemis nodded. "Do you mind if I take a seat?"

"Not at all! Please, sit down!" As Artemis took a seat across from Leon, he went into fanboy mode and started rambling. "Artemis, you have no idea how much I love you works. I'm a huuuuge fan! I have everyone of your books!" Leon showed her the book he was holding; it read 'Advanced Portal Formation and Analysis by Artemis. Co-authored by William Cauldwell and Illustrated by Soh Cah Toa'.

"Flattered," Artemis replied rather indifferently.

"Do you think...Do you think you could sign it for me? Pleeeeeeeease?" Leon clasped his hands as if he were pleading to the heavens (and he probably was) for the opportunity.

"Of course. Anything for a fan." Artemis produced a pen from her pocket and signed the inside cover of the book. "To everyone's favorite Emperor...Stay Awesome...Love, Artemis" she wrote in a rather elegant cursive style.

"Aaahhhh..." Leon gave a sigh of satisfaction as she handed the book back to him. Once he set it down, his face assumed a more serious expression. "You don't seem like the type to go around pandering to your fan base, Artemis. I take it you're here to talk to me about something other than your latest textbook."

Artemis nodded. "Sharp as usual. And you don't even have to read minds. I'm actually here to talk to you about the co-author of that book."

"William Cauldwell?" Leon asked. "The director of C.O.M.A.S?"

"Former director...of former C.O.M.A.S." Artemis said solemnly.

"What's up?"

"The rally we were hosting a few moments ago was crashed by Princess Sarah Mambutoo O'Malley, Zais, your sister and a slew of other people," she began.

"Yea, that sounds like something that kind of group would do...You said my sister was involved, so I assume this has something to do with the Scrolls of Science she's looking for?"

"Correct. During the rally, Sarah offered to trade the True Sword to William in exchange for the Scroll of Science."

"Ha, she isn't really good at keeping up with those Artifacts..." Leon snickered. Seeing that Artemis wasn't laughing (or smiling), he hastily pushed the question. "Ahem. So, uh, I'm guessing things didn't work out that way."

"Correct again. She handed over what appeared to be the True Sword to William, and when she received the promised Scroll of Science, the sword William possessed turned out to be the False Shield. Sarah had hidden the actual sword on her person."

"Clever," Leon mused. "Although a bit risky...So what happened after that?"

"In the battle that ensued, William was...murdered."

"I see," Leon bowed his head in respect. "I'm sorry, Artemis. Is there anything you would like me to do?" What sort of sorcerer gets killed so easily? he wondered, quite fortunate that Artemis wasn't using her Telepathy technique.

"Although Zais was the one to deliver the lethal blow, Sarah's treachery led to the event, so I would like to have her prosecuted under Awesome Land law. She has already agreed to give up any diplomatic immunity privileges she may have carried."

"Well, that was nice of her," Leon laughed dryly, reasoning that Artemis had forced Sarah into it. "Well, as it turns out, treachery is actually a pretty serious crime. One of the laws I wrote during my early days as Emperor of Awesome Land a few years back. Used it so I could legally punish anyone who might try to betray me. Pretty smart, huh?" he beamed.

Artemis still wasn't smiling.

"Ahem. Right. Well, since her treachery led to someone's death, under our felony murder laws I could easily have her executed. Or imprisoned for life." Leon nearly salivated at the thought. The chance to imprison the Really Cool Princess...completely legally. Oh, this is rich.

"While I appreciate your version of justice, I promised her I would go for no more than three years' imprisonment in an Awesome Land prison."

"Ah, well that's no fun," Leon frowned. "The PFG actually shows up at them from time to time to mol-"

"As an alternative, I told her I would seek no more than 150 million Verabucks in damages if she were to be found civilly responsible for William's death."

Leon started smiling again. "Ooooh, now that I can work with." The prospect of draining that much money from Really Cool Land and bringing it into the empire was tickling his greediness, a remnant from his old thieving days. "What's the exchange rate now? 1 Verabuck is worth 5 or 6 of whatever they use there. Oh, this'll be great." Leon started gazing off into space, doing pretty decent impressions of various characters from the Really Cool Land royal family.

"Oh Sarah! What have you done?" he asked in King Randolph's voice.

"I'm sorry, Father. I didn't mean to, I swear! It was an accident!" he replied to himself, a la Sarah.

"Now we'll have to put another mortgage on the palace!" His Queen Francine impression was eerily accurate.

"Leon," Artemis spoke. Her voice was still soft, but there was enough conviction in it to rouse Leon from his daydream.

"Hmm? Oh, sorry. Well, leave all your legal worries to me, Artemis. I'll be sure that the princess is adequately punished."

"When shall her court date be?" Artemis asked.

"Eh, whenever," Leon replied. "All the days start to blur together after a while, so I don't bother keeping track. Aurora or one of her little adventurers will probably be back here to get the Scroll of Science in Special Land. So whenever that happens, I guess."

"Very well. Thank you, Leon." Artemis nodded and turned to walk away.

"No, thank you for visiting!" He waved at her before sputtering out a last question. "Hey, Artemis! If it's not too much trouble, could I maybe get a picture with you...Please?"

Sighing, Artemis walked back toward him. "Sure, Leon."

"Great!" He took an expensive looking digital camera from his pocket and wrapped his arm tightly around Artemis' shoulder, pointing the camera at their faces. "Say 'cheese'!"

"Cheese."

SNAP!

With a bright flash, the camera had taken a picture. Leon pressed a few buttons and stared at the camera screen. "Hey, Artemis, you didn't smile!" But when he turned to his side to confront her, she had already vanished. "Ah, well. When she comes back for the trial, I'll get a better picture then..." With his idol gone, Leon returned to the couch and continued reading Advanced Portal Formation.

Meanwhile, Artemis had made it to the main entrance of the Really Cool Palace. She knocked on the door.

[Mizagium]

Oh thank the Elders, Blanche sighed internally (and probably eternally). Someone relatively normal. "Very well, You Highness. Which direction would you me to take you?" She pointed vaguely each way: Special Land, Chill Land, Groovy Land, Funky Land.

Stella grinned and jumped on Chancellor Awesome, hugging him round the right leg. "Yay! Shiny2 coming with us! You know you're basically a member of Team Friendship!:

GOLDBEZ IMITATED HER AND GRABBED HIS LEFT LEG. "I'M SHINY 1. YOU'RE SHINY 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO! LET'S DANCE!" HE STOOD ABRUPTLY, TROWING STELLA AND C. AWESOME ASIDE LIKE A FLIPPED TABLE. "SAY THEY WORD, GRAND DOMINATRIX, AND WE'LL DANCE OUR WAY TO THE SCROLL OF YOUR CHOOSING!"

[Myrdraxxis]

"I've never been to Funky Land before." Azzi commented, at this point desensitized by the actions of his teammates. "In fact, I didn't even know it existed until now. So I think I'll go there." the vampire-ninja decided. "Anyone with me?"

"We wanna volunteer for something too." Suddenly Myrxxan's voice came out of nowhere. The DCI team Vanguard suddenly appeared with Havoc Squad in tow....magically portalling there or some shit.

"Zais left again and Sindri is nowhere to be found." Taler from Havoc Squad explained. "We're pretty sure Artemis is pissed at our boss so...yeah we're back."

"And Dace has also gone missing." Myrxxan added. "Which means there's no one left to control the madness in Dynasty City. We got the hell outta there."

[Monika]

"Good idea, Azzi." Aurora nodded, pointing in the direction of Funky Land. "You guys go over there and find Funky Land's Scroll of Science, alright?" She thought a moment. "And absolutely no goofing off, alright? No making friends with badgers or losing to scantily clad dark sorceresses or realizing that you had the Scroll of Science in the form of a hat the whole time." Her gaze swept across GOLDBEZ, Chancellor Awesome, Stella, Cale, Xanthos, Azzi and the two Professor Calamitouses. And then she glanced at the various DCI membeers. And then she thought for another moment.

"Now that I think about it, your party is probably too large to avoid getting into trouble. And the addition And the two Professors don't seem like they'll get along. You all should split up into two teams. The first team can be led by Azzi - he seems to cause the least trouble - and go off to Funky Land. The second team, led by whomever-"

Chancellor Awesome coughed.

"-can go to Chill Land and obtain their scroll. Once each team has a Scroll, we can regroup in Groovy Land to obtain the last one. According to my records, they were annexed during the last war. They're technically a part of the Empire, so I should technically have some sway there. Technically. Either way, I've never been, so I'd like to be there when the time comes. Any questions?"

Chancellor Awesome raised his hand forcefully, as if to object.

"No questions, then? Great!" Aurora smiled. "Of course, those were all just suggestions. I don't care how you split up, or even if you do. My only real order: Don't fail me, alright?" Aurora turned to Blanche and nodded. "You and I can go off to Special Land. We'll have to make a quick detour to Awesome Land to borrow one of my brother's ships...I hope you don't mind getting wet."

[Mizagium]

Like some kind of lemur, Stella thew herself at Azzi, wrapping herself around his head. "NOOOOOOO! Team Friendship can't split up! No, Vamp, no! Say it ain't so!" She began bawling into his hair while rocking herself back and forth.

GOLDBEZ, HOWEVER, SWAGGERED ON UP TO CHANCELLOR AWESOME, LOOKED HIM UP AND DOWN, AND NODDED. "WELL, WELL, SHINY2. LOOKS LIKE I'LL BE ACCOMPANYING YOU TO CHILL LAND. DON'T WORRY, I'LL SHOW YOU THE TRUE MEANING OF CHRISTMAS." HE SEIZED CALE AND SLUNG HIM OVER THE SHOULDER. "HE'S COMING, TOO. I STILL HAVE TO TEACH HIM THE WAYS OF DANCE."

Blanche edged closer to Aurora. "Believe me, Empress. If it means getting away from all this" she indicated the group "then I'll go swimming in Pyresian Mountain."

[Calefrun]

Cale shrugged. "I guess I'm okay with this. Chill land sounds pretty... well, cool. By the way, do you have to carry me?"

Xanthos stayed where he was, perched atop GOLDBEZ's other shoulder.

[Mizagium]

Hydros City, Astro Land

Haley’s Tavern didn’t get a lot of business. It got enough to stay around, but not enough to actually be considered profitable. It had its regulars, sure, but they weren’t a real source of revenue. Owners came and went, but the bar stuck around, a permanent fixture that looked much the same as it did decades ago.

So when the silver-haired kid with a face mask and two longswords wandered in, it must have been quite the sight.

By the time Daar Lorra found the place, everyone seemed to have adjusted to Moon Knight’s presence, but every now and then, someone would glance over at him furtively.

“Samuel,” she greeted as amicably as she could.

“What are you doing here, Pulsar?”

“I don’t go by that name anymore, Sam.” She took a seat next to him at the bar.

“You should.”

“We haven’t been Crusaders in years, Sam.”

“I was Moon Knight before the Crusaders; I will be Moon Knight after the Crusaders.” He swirled his drink around. She never saw him eat or drink; he didn’t like to around others. “I was Moon Knight before I was born and I will be Moon Knight after I die. It is not something I can shed like clothing.”

“And there you go, talking crazy again.” She ordered a drink. “You still hate me, huh?”

“I am…ashamed of my actions, Pulsar. I allowed myself to be led astray and it cost everyone dearly.” He looked at her, the mechanical eyepieces betraying nothing. “I don’t hate you, Pulsar. I am disappointed.”

“Yeah.” She downed her drink and ordered another. “I need your help, Sam. Stella…Spiral Arms is in trouble.”

“What happened?”

“Blanche wasn’t sure. She said – “

“Dark Matter? I thought the two of you never wanted to see each other again?”

“Things change, Sam. Anyway. Blanche said Stella has been acting strange. Well, stranger than normal. As if she’s completely lost her mind. I saw a bit of it myself; she’s acting like a child.”

Samuel Anarr drummed the bar with hand not holding his drink. “Spiral Arms was always a bit childish, Pulsar. If I recall correctly, her childishness was instrumental in Cixer’s defeat.” Still, he didn’t seem certain.

“Not childish, Sam, like a child. A nine-year old. She isn’t the same ninja anymore. Something happened to her. Something…” She let her words falter but clearly something remained to be said.

“Yes?” he urged.

“Blanche thinks F.O.R.D. has something to do with it.”

Moon Knight made a noise in his breathing apparatus, possibly a snort. “That they are allowed to continue business is unacceptable. I have had…dealings with them of late. Unfortunately, they are well connected.” He considered things. “But I will not leave Spirals Arms to suffer at their misdeeds.” He yanked the respirator forward a bit and dumped his drink in.

“You’re in, then?”

“A Crusader requires our help. I would be remiss to allow her to go unaided. Do you have a plan, Pulsar? Have you contacted the others?”

Her flowering grin faltered. “Not exactly. Blanche is keeping an eye on Stella. I have some leads on Alaizabel. But Gaar seems to have just vanished.”

“Starburst…yes. I believe I have heard some rumors. They say she has returned to Star Land.”

“Then that’s where we’re going next.”

[Sariel of Tevet]

Calamitous wandered along side of GOLDBEZ and Chancellor Awesome. "Chill sounds like my sort of place. Funky just seems so...well happy. So Chill Land it is. Now you!!" He pointed directly at The Professor with his science shooter. "You get out of here. Run along. Be a good boy, and go get funky."

The Professor saluted his evil counterpart and struck a disco pose. "Yes sir! Let's get funky you jive turkeys!!" He moonwalked to Azzi's side.

[Monika]

"Then it's decided," Aurora nodded. "You all go to your determined locations and complete the mission. Don't do anything to soil the name of Awesome Land or its empress, got it?" She gave the adventurers a stern look before turning back toward Blanche. "You'll have to take us to Awesome Land since my own magic can't carry us that far. From there, I'll grab a ship, we head to Special Land, we get their Scroll and we meet back in Groovy Land. Seraphina willing, we won't have any unnecessary...incidents." And with that, Aurora clasped her hands, said a quick prayer and braced herself for Blanche's crazy Dark Energy ninja teleportation powers.

[Mizagium]

Blanche gathered up the Dark Energy and cloaked herself and Aurora in it. Fun Land disappeared around them, momentarily replaced by a void of infinite darkness. Then Awesome Land materialized. She had gotten so used to the Dark Void that it hardly bothered her anymore. She wondered what it must be like for someone else to experience it for the first time.

"Well, here we are, Empress. Where to now?"

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WITH CALE UNDER ONE ARM AND XANTHOS ON HIS SHOULDERS, GOLDBEZ PICKED UP CALAMITOUS WITH HIS OTHER ARM. HE THEN PROCEEDED TO SWIVEL AT THE HIPS IN A MANNER MOST BEFITTING THE HIGHEST CLASS OF MALE PROSTITUTES, HE DEMATERIALIZED THE BAR, WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY OPENING THE SEXIEST PORTAL KNOWN TO DOLPHINS.

"ALL ABOARD THE MANLY TRAIN!" HE SWEPT CHANCELLOR AWESOME'S FEET OUT FROM UNDER HIM, CAUSING HIM TO SPIN COMICALLY IN THE AIR. GOLDBEZ FOLLOWED IT UP WITH A ROUNDHOUSE KICK TO THE CHEST THAT SENT HIM CAREENING INTO THE PORTAL TO CHILL LAND. "TWENTY POINTS." HE HEFTED CALE UP AND THREW HIM LIKE A FOOTBALL INTO THE PORTAL, FOLLOWED BY CALAMITOUS. "DON'T THINK I FORGOT ABOUT YOU," HE SAID TO XANTHOS. "SHINING CARTWHEEL OF MANLY." HE REACHED UP AND SEIZED XANTHOS' ARMS, PULLED HIM, AND TOGETHER THEY ROLLED FORWARD INTO THE PORTAL, WHICH CLOSED BEHIND THEM WITH AN AUDIBLE "OHHH YEEAAAHHH."

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Stella pulled Azzi and the Professor to her sides, then jumped into the air, landing squarely on her UFO. "Mush, doggie!" The UFO then zoomed around the area, crashing into Havoc Squd, piling them on top of the UFO as well. "Forward unto dawn!" And the UFO flew towards Funky Land at the Speed of Fizz.