Awesome Land!: A Rebooted Story

[Mizagium]

“EVERYBODY STAY CALM. ME AND THE BADGERS GOT THIS!”

ALL OF THE BADGER-MINICONS DETACHED THEMSELVES FROM THE MECH WITH THE AUDIBLE HISS OF STEAM, EVEN IN THE VACCUUM OF SPACE. MAN, DON’Y YOU TELL ME HOW FIZZING SPACE BADGERS WORK. I BET YOU’RE JUST SOME NERD, READING THIS IN YOUR PYJAMAS (HELL YEAH, I USED THE BRITISH SPELLING BECAUSE IT HAS A Y IN IT, YO).

NOW THEN.

WHILE THAT WAS GOING DOWN, GOLDEBEZ DID THE THING. HE REACHED OUT TO TOUCH THE UNIVERSE IN ITS NO-NO PLACE. BY WHICH I MEAN, HIS CODPIECE FORM SHIFTED SO THAT HIS UPPER HALF EXTENDED OUTWARD, BETWEEN THE CALE MECH AND NOVA CALAMITOUS.

ALL OF THE SPACE BADGERS FORMED A RING AROUND THE EXTENDED GOLDBEZ FORM AND BEGAN TO GLOW WITH BRILLIANCE. I MEAN THAT IN THE LITERAL AND METAPHORICAL SENSE.

EACH ONE OF THE BADGERS PUNCHED A HOLE DEEP ONTO THE FABRIC OF SPACE TIME, THOUGH WHICH GOLDBEZ BEGAN SUCKING IN AS MUCH ENERGY AS HE COULD. AND IT WAS PRETTY VISIBLE, TOO, ALL THAT COSMIC ENERGY CAUSED HIS ARMOR TO BECOME THE MANLIEST FIZZING RAINBOW YOU’VE EVER SEEN. SAID MANLY RAINBOW (OF SEX, TOO) FLOWED THROUGH HIS NOW CROSS-ARMED FORM AND INTO CALE, AND THUS INTO THE REST OF THE MECH.

“OH YEAH, BABY,” HE DECLARED. “I CAN. FEEL. THE. UNIVERSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Meanwhile, up in the tip of the Cosmis Katana, Stella clutched at her head suddenly.

Stella, a voice whispered to her, and her alone. Stella, I've missed you. Come back to me.

"Stella?" Nebula, still nestled deep within her mind, struggled to keep out the exotic communication.

"Gaar...he's..."

Stella, come back to me. Give me back what you stole; let me in.

Another communication channel opened, this one from this universe, and from Moon Blade, no less. "Stella, what's going on?" he demanded.

"Ah...can...can you hear him?"

"Yeah. Well, I feel him. What's happening?"

"Sam...if you can hear him, then its already too late. Can the others...?"

"Pulsar doesn't have any connection to the Cosmic Forces, so I doubt it. Starburst has been training for years to focus inward, so I don't think she can. And Blanche is....to focused on you to hear anyone else."

"Then you know what I have to do."

He sighed heavily. "Something stupid?"

"Incredibly. But it's the only way."

"Stella, we just got you back!"

"I know, Sam. And I'm really glad that you did. But I have to do this."

Stella...Stella...Come back to me...

She was breathing heavy now, fists clenched tight. "Sam, I need to know that you won't stop me."

"Stella, I - "

"Promise me! You have to let me go, and keep them...keep her from trying to stop me."

Moon Blade hung his head, a dark realization gripping him. "Is there no other way?" But he didn't even need the answer. "I will. I'll let you go. And I'll keep them from saving you this time."

"Thank you, Sam." Then, after a moment. "Will you...apologize to them for me? To Cale?"

"I'll try."

"That's all I'm asking."

The communication closed.

Come and join me...Stella...

"We need an opening, Nebula. Are you ready?"

"I don't believe I could ever be ready for this, Stella. And I know you aren't, either. But if I must, I will. I can think of no better mind to share than yours."

Instead of speaking to Nebula, she pressed a button to speak directly to Cale. "You can do it, Cale. I believe in you." She closed it before he could respond.

She waited as GOLDBEZ'S energy filled the mecha, looking for her opening...

[Calefrun]

Cale deflected a few more of Calamitous' attacks, then broke away and put as much distance between the two giant forms as he could. He could feel the power surging in from GOLDBEZ. He allowed it to well up inside him, along with the strength and willpower of all of the others. And Stella's faith in him only added to his power.

Stella... Though he had no actual mouth, he was pretty sure he had a large grin on his face. He wasn't sure how or when, but at some point during the course of this wacky adventure, he had fallen in love with the pink-haired space ninja. After this was all over, he decided that the first thing he would do would be confessing his feelings to her.

As he felt the energy inside him building up to a climax, he directed it back towards GOLDBEZ'S lifeship. Bolts of electricity shot out towards the badgers, signaling that the final attack was ready to fire...

[Sariel of Tevet]

Captain Calypso pulled a cigar out of his afro, sat back in his chair and foled his legs. He lit the cigar, bit down and took a long drag. Exhaling, he said "Prepare for the moneyshot baby."

[Calefrun]

"COSIMC! CROTCH! CANNON!!!!!!!!!!!" ALL OF THE PENT UP ENERGY BURST FORTH FROM THE EXTENDED CODPIECE, SENDING A RADIANT BLAST OF RAINBOW-COLORED POWER STRAIGHT FOR CALAMITOUS. AND THE THEME SONG STARTED PLAYING.

[Monika]

Aurora did not appreciate having her segment of their galactic mech struck with such a destructive attack. "In retrospect, becoming the head of this giant robot probably wasn't the best idea." Fortunately for her, her superhuman toughness negated any damage she might have suffered. She had mixed feelings about their final attack, but after what she had been through, it wouldn't have made sense for her to complain about what would mark the end of her adventure. "Whatever works," she said, shrugging.

"Do you have the feeling that something incredibly sad is about to happen?" Chancellor Awesome asked from his giant robot leg.

"Eh." Aurora shrugged again.

[Sariel of Tevet]

The galactic moneyshot hit Calamitous in the face, but it was well met. He didn't flinch and it didn't freak him out as much as it probably would have most people. He kept his composure when taking a big load of energy to the face, like the true villain he was.

Using all his strength, he grasped the blast and forced his mouth open wide enough to stretch the length of Far Out, attempting to swallow the entire wad whole.

His eyes widened.

Grkk....what's...happening...

His chest began to burn. The pure form of undiluted energy permeated his throat and would not settle. It was more than he could bare. Cracked began to form along his neck that soon spread to the entirety of his body.

This can't be happening. I was to be the one to bring order...IT WAS MY PURPOSE.

His body was bathed in a white hot glow, and pure energy began to spring from cosmic wells along his frame. Geysers of space dust and raw elements began to foam and spray across the universe. His body began to strip away and fail, the culmination of the entirety of the universe began to create a brand new singularity. A second Big Bang was occurring. The universe ignited began to spout forth from Calamitous in a fiery mass.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sergeant Didgeridoo ran to the cockpit and all but took the controls from RB.

"We have ta get outta 'ere mon! 'Urry!"

Calypso, unphased, took another drag from his cigar.

"Calm down men, we aren't entirely that pressed for time."

RB, stunned, turned to face the commanding officer.

"Sir, with all due respect, are you insane?! Look at that! The universe is exploding. Right. In. Front. Of. Us."

"It's ok men. We have some time yet, time dilation is a funny thing. Anyway Professor, you still linked in?"

Yes Captain, of course."

"You know what you need to do right?"

"Yes Captain, I am detaching my lifeship as we speak."

[Mizagium]

“There!” Nebula and Stella shouted together, seeing their chance. Stella’s mech tore away from the Cosmic Katana and hurled towards Nova Calamitous. Communication channels opened up all around her from Blanche, Starburst and Daar Lorra, but she ignored their cries and pleas and pressed forward. Moon Blade used every bit of his mech’s power to hold the rest of them in place.

“Good bye, Stella,” was all he said.

“Good bye,” Stella responded, speaking to everyone who had opened a channel to her before closing them all.

Stella! Yes! You’ve come back to me! Something snaked its way out of the explosion, and then another. Two inky black caricatures of hands opened up, welcoming and possessive.

“It’s not too late,” she said to Nebula, “to jump into someone else’s head.”

“Without me, you’ll go back to being a child again. You can’t protect anyone like that. Besides, I’ve always wanted to see other universes.”

Stella realized she was crying, but pushed her mech forward anyway. The shockwaves from the Big Bang tore at the mech and pieces were gradually knocked away. The black arms of Cixer Star also clawed at the mecha.

Come to me! Yes! Stella! You return! I knew you would!

Stella stood up in her cockpit, the mech quickly falling away, and drew her katana. More cosmic energy flowed into her than had ever before, allowed into the universe via the second one being born within it. As her robot form finally fell away, it revealed a brilliant aurora, at the heart of which was Stella. In that moment, she was one with all the Cosmic Forces, channeling raw cosmic energy, just like she had last time they faced him. Only she was alone this time.

She thought one last time of everyone, of Team Friendship, of Cale…before leaping forward, into the abyss. Cixer’s hands surrounded her – and then recoiled in pain! He could not touch her.

No! Stella! You’ve…betrayed me!

“I’ve come back for you,” she shouted at him. “Just like you always wanted!” Her cosmic energy aurora pulled loose ends of the universal fabric with in, slowly closing the hole that had been torn in it. Once she crossed the event horizon, it would be all patched up. Just as she reached the threshold, she though she saw him, saw Cixer Star at the heart of the void, shriveled and angry.

“Good bye, Cale Efrun,” she bid, hoping that he might somehow hear her. “I’m really glad I met you. Don’t forget about me, ok?”

And then she and her light disappeared within the expanding Big Bang, taking the streamers of her universe with her. It didn’t fix it all up as nicely as she would have liked, but it did slow it down considerably, giving the Professor enough time…

I’m going to kill you, Cixer. I’ll hunt you until the end of time. You won't hurt anyone ever again.

[Calefrun]

"STEEEEELLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" Cale screamed as he watched in horror. With what was left of the mech he shot forward, moving at a speed that would have warped the universe itself, had it not already been absorbed. Ahead of him, however, he could see the Professor's lifeship. "What the hell?"

[Myrdraxxis]

Azzi just stared mutely at the scene for a long moment, not sure what to say. Not for the first time he thought of how utterly out of his depth he was, and how he would have probably never ended up here if it wasn't for Stella and the others. He was just supposed to be a simple vampire-ninja, and here was fighting for the fate of the universe itself. ANd he wouldn't rather be anywhere else. He wasn't sure how to put that into words.

In the end he just smiled sadly, shaking his head. He keyed open the intercom. "Goodbye, Stella. It's been an adventure." he said his farewell, adding a small ninja salute.

He turned his attention to the ever growing Big Bang and grinned challengingly. "Bring it on."

[Sariel of Tevet]

The professor's lifeship sped towards the singularity as fast as it was able to, fighting against the expansion of the incipient universe. He slammed his fist down onto the throttle and forced it into place before opening the hatch. Still hurdling towards the fiery chaos, he stepped out onto the bow of the lifeship, waiting for the crash.

He shouted at the singularity.

"Brother! I should have never let you split from me. Ever, but I never knew you would turn this badly without my conscience to guide you."

Fool.

Nova Calamitous formed his normal body behind the Professor on the bow of the lifeship.

I was meant for this, why can you not see this? The chaos...the universe could never continue the way it was. I had to change things. I had to bring structure, order to the violence!

"Violence? This isn't violence? You have destroyed an entire universe. Everyone and everything that has ever existed is gone. This new singularity could bring in more destruction than you could ever imagine. What then? You destroy the brand new lives and start over until you find perfection?

The Professor spread his arms and looked out over the bow, motioning to the vast expansion of primordial energy.

"And this, all of this. You are tearing apart brother. You will never survive this. You may cease to exist as well.

Then what do you propose that I do? I cannot undo what I have done or I will fail. If I continue, I fail as well.

The Professor pulled the final fusion capsule from his pocket and turned to face Nova Calamitous' form, and held out his hand.

This will fix it all. Just trust me.

Apprehensive, Calamitous took his brother's hand and cracked the capsule, bringing their forms back together again before resuming his mist filled nova form and flowing back into the singularity.

Explosions still surrounded the group, but silence fell across the universe. Captain Calypso and the rest of the NAACP crew watched the flames, like a silent film through the bridge window. The chaos receded back into the singularity, and Professor Nova Calamitous was left floating in the vast expanse of space-time before them. He tilted his hat at his comrades and waved, before instantaneously dispersing as a a well of atoms began to flow forth from his position.

Molecule by molecule the universe began to reconstruct as if nothing happened. Planets reformed, lives continued, and the universe seemed none the wiser.

The black nova burned back into existence in front of the group as the final piece of the universe fell back into place. A new star formed, lightyears away from their position.

I see brother, now we can control the chaos of the universe ourselves.

Yes, just as it should be. Maybe you were right all along. Good luck friends. We will never be far away.

[Monika]

"Beautiful," Chancellor Awesome sniffed. "And tragic. We've lost a lot, haven't we? We all had our differences, certainly, but...I mean, between the Professor and-"

"Don't." Aurora stopped him. "Let's honor both of their sacrifices - and the sacrifices everyone made during this journey - by doing what we came here to do. Scrolls of Science!" At her call, the seven Scrolls of Science floated around Aurora in a style reminiscent of the Chaos Emeralds. In an instant, the rest of the lifeships had transformed from a giant mech to a massive platform, upon which all of the protagonists now stood.

"Now, according to what's written on the backs of the Scrolls..." Aurora muttered, reading each one of the Scrolls of Science as they danced around her. "To resolve a crisis unsolvable by magic, all I have to do is call out the name 'Esnot Alkali'. Alright, then. I call forth the Almighty Spirit of the Scrolls of Science: Esnot Alkali!"

The Scrolls all flew toward the center of the platform and merged together to form...a giant ball of crumpled paper. Which then exploded in a flash of light to reveal ESNOT ALKALI, THE SPIRIT OF THE SCROLLS OF SCIENCE. The creature looked similar to the modern depiction of a genie. Except he was made of solid gold - his tail being the gaseous form of the element. And his cuffs were titanium (and encrusted with diamonds). And his ponytail was fire instead of hair. And he had beakers for earrings. And he was wearing two monocles. But other than those minor differences, he definitely looked like a genie.

"WHO DARES DISTURB ESNOT ALKALI, GENIE OF THE SCROLLS?" he roared, his voice echoing throughout the soundlessness of space.

"Genie?" Aurora asked. "So, does that mean you grant wishes?"

"FOOOOL!!" The genie's voice was strong enough to push our heroes' space platform several light years away. Fortunately for them, Esnot was not done yelling at them, so he scienced them back into the proximity of the Black Nova. "I AM ESNOT ALKALI, GENIE OF THE SCROLLS OF SCIENCE. I DO NOT GRANT WISHES. I BESTOW UPON THE UNIVERSE THE WONDROUS EFFECTS OF THE INFINITE POWERS OF SCIENCE."

"Right," Aurora huffed. "My apologies, Mr. Alkali. If it isn't too much trouble, I would like to request a wi- that is, I would like for you to 'bestow some science' upon that swirling, burning vortex of darkness in front of us. The Black Nova."

"WHAT?" Esnot turned around and, sure enough, there was the Black Nova, in all of its radiant, shadowy glory. "THAT HAS TO VIOLATE AT LEAST PI DIFFERENT SCIENTIFIC PRINCIPLES. I SHALL DISPOSE OF IT AT ONCE." Esnot cracked his golden knuckles and grabbed the Black Nova at both ends somehow. "I AM GOING TO COMPRESS YOU INTO THE NOTHINGNESS YOU SHOULD BE." He squeezed the Black Nova as hard as he could. "FORCE...EQUALS MASS...TIMES ACCELERATION..." Esnot started panting, each word he uttered a desperate attempt to get the Black Nova to bend to his will. You could see the veins popping from his shiny golden forehead as he struggled, eventually managing to squeeze the supernova part of the disaster out of existence. Now they were just left with a plain, ordinary black hole.

"PHEW...THAT WAS SOME HARD WORK," Esnot yelled. "GLAD I COULD FIX EVERYTHING, THOUGH. NO NEED TO THANK ME."

Aurora glared at their would-be savior and said, "Um, excuse me, Mr. Alkali. I think you've forgotten something."

"YEAH? WHAT?"

"Well, you only solved half of our problem. The supernova is gone, but the black hole isn't. I don't mean to be a downer, but our planet is right there." Aurora motioned to her left; Earth stood there, casually rotating away, mere miles away from what seemed to be an ever-expanding black hole.

Esnot shrugged. "HEY, I MADE THE DISASTER MAKE SENSE. IT'S NOW A SCIENTIFICALLY POSSIBLE BLACK HOLE INSTEAD OF THAT COMPLETE PIECE OF FICTION THE BLACK NOVA WAS." He smiled at the black hole for a while, genuinely pleased with his handiwork. "BESIDES, SOMEONE WITH A POWER GREATER THAN MY SCIENCE IS KEEPING THE BLACK HOLE INTACT. THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT THAT. YOU GUYS ARE ON YOUR OWN THERE."

"...Really?"

"REALLY. BUT, SINCE I'M CONTRACTUALLY OBLIGATED TO DO SO, I CAN GRANT YOU TWO MORE SCIENCES," the genie offered.

Aurora looked at her comrades and thought for a moment. "Well, can you bring back Professor Calamitous? Or Stella?" she pleaded.

Esnot shook his head. "SORRY, NO CAN DO. ACCORDING TO MY SCIENCE, THEY LEFT OF THEIR OWN FREE WILL. THEY PROBABLY WOULDN'T WANT TO COME BACK HERE. THEY MIGHT EVEN BE DYING OR SOMETHING. AND I CERTAINLY CAN'T BRING BACK THE DEAD. I'M A SCIENTIST, NOT A NECROMANCER."

"You are...not as helpful as I would have liked," Aurora said.

"EH. I'M NOT GETTING PAID FOR THIS, SO YOU SHOULD BE HAPPY I WAS ANY HELP AT ALL. CALL ME LATER IF YOU WANT TO USE YOUR LAST TWO SCIENCES." Without waiting to be dismissed, Esnot disappeared in a puff of gold vapor, the Scrolls of Science falling on the platform where he had been.

"Great," Aurora grumbled, kicking one of the Scrolls. It furled itself back into a neat roll of paper. "After everything we've been through, we're not a single step closer to solving our problem. We've practically taken a step backward! We don't even have the Professor or Stella anymore!"

"Oh, don't be so hard on yourselves!" A voice rang out from the black hole. It was strangely familiar...but not in the least bit welcoming. "Especially not you, pal!" Although no one could be certain, it seemed like the voice was addressing Cale specifically. "It was nothin' you did. Stella didn't leave because she stopped liking you. She just needed some personal space! Wuh ha! Wuh ha! Wuh ha!"

Giggles the Clown emerged from the black hole and stepped onto the platform in all his unfunny glory.

"What," Chancellor Awesome and Aurora said in unison.

"Yea, I gotta thank you all for gettin' ridda Doctor Crazy. He was really crampin' my style! There I am, just mindin' my own business, floatin' around in my black nova, when all of a sudden Professor Doom decides he's just gonna absorb me and become the universe!"

"What," the two said again.

"Fortunately, I was able to survive thanks to my magic powers-

"Magic...powers?" Aurora said, her teeth clenched. She turned to get an answer from Chancellor Awesome, who hastily looked in the opposite direction.

"-and I managed to protect myself until you guys made Mister Calamity kick the bucket!" Giggles pointed at the spot in front of his feet, summoning an iron bucket to emphasize his point.

"But...But...We saw you...Sent off into space. With the Kraken brain. And explosion."

"Can't get ridda me that easily, Toots! Like I said before, I got magic powers. When the Kraken's brain used its psychic powers to take me with it in the explosion, I put up a little magic shield. Pretty smart, huh? The brain didn't die in the explosion - its will persisted in the form of that supernova up until a few minutes ago. After it realized I wasn't gonna go down like a punk, it taught me everything it knew, including tips and tricks for surviving in outer space."

Aurora and Chancellor Awesome just stared. How were they supposed to respond?

"Yea, I learned a lot while I was up here, actually. The Kraken was apparently a few millennia old and taught me a lot about world history. And when Professor Catastrophe tried to merge with everything, I was right along with him. Being inside him, I got to see and hear the thoughts of all the life forms in the universe. I got to witness the cycle of destruction and creation firsthand, and it's all thanks to you, Toots, bein' a selfish little bitch."

This was enough to snap Aurora out of her stupor. "Excuse me?!" Her Imperial Scepter magically appeared in her hand, and she was about to use it to hit Giggles in his squeaky little nose when he blocked the with his own...feather like weapon.

"It's the pen of a giant squid, or Kraken, in this case," Giggles explained. "Ain't it weird? The pen is the only part of the thing that didn't shoot ink! Wuh ha! Wuh ha! Wuh ha!"

Aurora put her scepter away and scowled, not entirely pleased with having been countered by a man who was once her court jester.

"Between time dilations and bein' swallowed and sent to alternate dimensions, I've lived for thousands of years, Toots, and I'm a helluva lot wiser than you'll ever be. You're a pretty lousy monarch, you know? Remember all that time ago when I was just a poor street urchin, enjoyin' the life of a hobo?"

The empress didn't bother to respond.

"Yea, well I do!" Giggles continued. "There I was, mindin' my own business, and one day you and Metalhead over here," he pointed to Chancellor Awesome, "snatched me up and made me into your royal fool!"

"We gave you a job!" Chancellor Awesome replied, assuming that that's what Aurora would have said, were she not seething with rage.

"You kidnapped me!" Giggles corrected him. "So, never one to deny forced servitude, I told the best jokes I could think of for months. And how do you repay me? By convicting me of treason and nearly havin' me killed by the Kraken!"

Aurora shut her eyes and breathed deeply, still unable or unwilling to respond.

"Oh, and let's take a look at your empire now, shall we, Toots?" Giggles magicked up a planet-sized magnifying glass and placed it over the Earth, giving all of the protagonists a clear view of Awesome Land. It was unmistakable; the entire country was covered in 5-6 inches of liquid darkness, and a bunch of shadowy demons (including one the size of a skyscraper hovering above the Second Imperial Tower) were roaming around like they owned the place. "For one reason or another, you decided to abandon your own empire to go out on some dangerous adventure. And you left your brother in charge!" Giggles waved his arms toward Leon, who had hitherto been rather silent, trying to avoid attention.

"I did what I had to do!" Aurora insisted, although a slight crack in her voice betrayed her true thoughts.  "If I hadn't joined the rest of them, we never could have completed this mission! And how was I supposed to know that Leon would do this to my country?!"

Leon gave his best nonchalant whistle and pretended that he wasn't getting a death stare from his younger sister.

"And that's the one thing I hate the most about you. You are the worst kind of evil person - the kind that commits atrocities on a regular basis and doesn't even realize that they're doing anything wrong. The kind that can never take responsibility for their own actions! I've been watching you all from my black hole for a long time now. You set your entire capital city on fire and then blame it on an innocent clown!"

"It was just a little-" Aurora began.

"You send a ragtag group of strangers who you just met on a quest to save the planet, and then yell at them when they don't give you the results you wanted." Giggles motioned toward Cale and Goldbez,

"I thought they could-"

"You then take off with those complete strangers to help save the world, leaving your country in the hands of a known interdimensional criminal!"

Aurora was once again rendered speechless; the only sound that came from her mouth was that of her breathing deeply as she struggled to hold back her tears.

"And that's not even countin' your terrible relationships with all your colonies, let alone you relationship with your own citizens. You see, when I found out you guys were comin' up here to space, my plan was to rough you up a bit, but Professor Clamitous did that for me. And then I was gonna take over your country. But I had a change of heart along the way. See, I'm by no means a comedian, but I can tell you the greatest joke of them all: Awesome Land! I realized that there was no way in hell I wanted to inherit that godforsaken cesspool you call an 'empire'. After havin' seen the past and present of billions of countries on millions of planets throughout the universe, I can safely say that yours has the bleakest future, Toots."

"Well, it certainly got real awkward here..." Leon said after a painfully long silence. "I, Leon Veralice, do hereby relinquish my position of Interim Grand Imperator of the Awesome Land Empire, and all executive, legislative, and judicial responsibilities thereof back to Aurora Veralice. Job's all yours again, Sis! Sayonara!" With a snap of his fingers, both Leon and his spacecraft were gone.

But Aurora made no acknowledgment of Leon's departure or anything else that was going on. She just stood there, staring at Giggles with tears rolling down her face.

Chancellor Awesome took it upon himself to speak for Aurora again. "Well, for a man named 'Giggles', you sure haven't made anyone laugh today," the Chancellor spat. "Maybe we should call you 'Tears' instead."

"Wuh ha! Maybe you should be the court jester. And it's not like I asked to be called 'Giggles', pal. I was fine as a nameless, amnesiac hobo until Ms. Empress here kidnapped me and made me her personal joke boy."

"Hmph. Is there anything else you would like to say, Giggles?" Chancellor Awesome asked.

"Nah, I think I've made my point. I'm gonna take my black hole and vamoose to another part of the cosmos. You guys have one less space disaster now. Lord knows you've got enough terrestrial problems to deal with. Good luck! You'll need it!" And with that, Giggles waved his Kraken pen like a wand, sending all of the protagonists back to Earth, right in front of the Second Imperial Tower where the adventure began.

Chancellor Awesome looked up in the sky and noticed that the black hole was fading from view. "Look, Aurora!" he exclaimed. "Giggles kept his word. Awesome Land is safe."

Aurora ignored him. She ignored him and the fact that they were knee deep in Leon's pet Shadow Fiends.

[Mizagium]

“What was that!?” Blanche shoved Samuel hard as soon as they appeared back on Earth. “What happened up there, Sam? Where’s Stella?”

“Stella’s gone.” He didn’t shove back or advance; he couldn’t look at her or any of the Crusaders.

“Gone where?” she demanded, close to tears.

“I don’t know.”

“Then why did you let her go?”

“Because she asked me to.”

“Sam, I can’t believe you – “

“Cixer was about to come out of that explosion! Didn’t you see those arms? Those were his.”

“Cixer…but we…we destroyed him years ago.” Blanche looked to Daar Lorra and Alaizabel for confirmation, but they just shrugged.

“I could hear him, Blache. Stella could, too.”

None of the remaining Crusaders spoke for a long moment.

“She saved us,” Alaizabel announced. “So now we need to go save her again!” But her excitement wasn’t shared with the others. “What’s the matter with you all? Let’s go find her!”

Moon Blade shook his head. “I don’t think we’ll be able to find her.”

“We should still –“

“I won’t diminish her sacrifice like that!” he snapped, and wheeled on her. “You…I…we have this obsession with Stella; it’s weird and I don’t like it. She wouldn’t want us to waste our lives away like that.” He reached up for his facemask.

“So we’re just abandoning her?”

“I’m tired, Aliaza!” Sam detached his facemask, breathing in unfiltered air for the first time in years. Then he removed his goggles and let them both fall to the ground. “I’ve been out running around in space since I was sixteen. I’ve been fighting every day for years, always going to sleep wondering if I might never wake up again. I’m just so tired.” He detached his sword, Celea, and Luana, and let them fall to the ground as well. “I’m done, Aliaza. I’m so tired.”

Cosmic fire flared up around Starburst and she looked to Blanche and Daar Lorra, but neither woman seemed willing to argue with Sam. “Fine! I’ll go alone, then, since none of you seem to care about her anymore.”

Nobody made a move to stop her as she caught fire and flew off, leaving a trail of fire in the air as she escaped the atmosphere and disappeared into outer space.

“Empress Aurora,” Samuel approached her and knelt. “May I, Blanche, and Daar Lorra stay here in your empire? We don’t exactly have a home anymore or a purpose anymore. We ask for asylum in the Awesome Land empire.”

-

Before she could finish imbibing all the alcohol forever, two Ninjoctopi appeared out of nowhere and wrapped themselves tightly around her, each pinning an arm to her side. A third wrapped around her legs, sending her careening to the floor.

Dresmond Niles calmly walked up to her on two tentacles, doing his best impersonation of a human. “Poor, deluded, drunk human. This city no longer belongs to you. Bring her; Takayaki wants to have a word with her.” Three more Ninjoctopi appeared and hoisted the inert form of Captain Danielle and followed Dresmond with a rather undignified crawl.

-

“That,” Uggo said to Al, “is how the Octopi are producing artificial Unobgassium. It makes sense, in a twisted way. The Octopi would infiltrate the city, slowly assumed the personas of citizens while they quietly disappeared, only to be processed into Unobgassium.”

He looked at his new allies, then at the prisoners. “But what was he going to do when the harvest ran out?”

But he didn’t get a chance to muse long. Up on the catwalks, a squad of mechanized Octosoldiers began to cover the chamber. “Looks like we got company.”

[Nel]

Captain Danielle struggled against the tentacles binding her, but it seemed she was a little too intoxicated to effectively free herself. Her vision blurred dangerously and she ceased struggling.

"Whererrrrrr you taking me?" she yelled trying to sound threatening, but sounded more desperate than anything. She had to figure out how to get out of this. She'd been in worse situations before and gotten away just fine. Fantastic even. Hadn't she? She couldn't remember a time when she'd had to escape while this intoxicated though. Holding to what little sobriety she had left, Captain Danielle decided to let the octopi take her away. For now anyway.

[Calefrun]

"What the hell is wrong with you people?!?" Cale yelled as he marched straight for the Crusaders, swords drawn. But something seemed just a little bit off about him. Though he had returned to his original form, he was radiating immense amounts of power. His swords looked different as well, having jagged edges and bladed crossguards. Most notably, there was something protruding from the back of his head. They appeared to be pink tentacles, and they were flared out in every direction. "You call yourselves her friends?" he spat. "She just sacrificed herself to save everyone! And you're not even going to try to look for her? That's bullshit!" His eyes followed Starburst's trail. "Fiz it. I'll find her myself."

"Yeeeeaaaaah, about that..." Cale felt a hand on his shoulder, and whipped around to see Zento standing behind him, clothes torn and bloodied, but otherwise not looking too much worse for wear.

"Zento! You're alive! H-how?"

"Ummm... I can tell you on the way. You and I need to make a little trip."

"The only 'trip' I'm making is to find Stella."

Zento sighed. "I really wish he could have told me this was going to happen so that I would know how to react, but... well, let me give you the summary version." He took a deep breath. "You and I... we're not from Earth. Our bloodline, I mean. See, your dad and my mom are from this world called Cardinalos. They ran away from home when they were younger, and somehow wound up here. As it turns out, we're of noble descent. Go figure. Anyway, There's some menace threatening all of the oceanic races- oh, we're squids by the way. That's why you've got the..." he motioned towards the back of his own head to imply that he meant Cale's new appendages.

"Anyway," he continued, "apparently it's up to us to save them, so... we really need to get on that." He pulled a device which looked similar to a cell phone out of his pocket and pressed a few buttons, after which a large purple portal formed beside him.

Cale gaped at him. "Are... are you insane? What the fiz are you talking about? I don't have time for this nonsense! I have to save Stella!"

Zento frowned. More so than he had been already, at least. "She's one person, dude. We're talking about millions here. Besides, you could probably find a squid girl or something." Cale looked like he was about to murder his cousin where he stood. "Oh, I nearly forgot. I'm supposed to give you this." He reached into his pocket and removed a small envelope, which he handed to Cale.

The elder cousin opened the envelope, and retrieved a letter. He opened it, and something fell out. He crouched to pick it up, and his eyes went wide. He quickly picked it up and put in his pocket, then looked at the letter. Almost immediately tears formed in his eyes. His tentacles became flaccid and hung limply with his hair, he stopped emanating energy, and his weapons returned to normal. He approached the portal, allowing the letter to fall out of his hands, then turned back to face the others.

"Thank you, everyone. I had always wanted an adventure, and... well, I certainly got one." He then looked out into the stars with an expression of melancholy on his face. "Stella... Don't worry. I won't be gone forever. I promise I'll be right back as soon as this 'squid' business is over, and then you and me can go on adventures again. After all, we're bestest friends, aren't we?" He stepped through the portal, Zento close behind. It closed immediately after they had both passed through, leaving nothing behind but the letter, which simply said:

"We'll find her. I promise.

-Cale Efrun, the Illusive Squid

(By the way, I've enclosed something in case you need proof that it's me/you. Keep it safe.)"

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Th-that's horrible!" Al exclaimed as Cozaltene drew his pistols. He started firing a flurry of lasers, some at the Octobots, the rest at the beams supporting the catwalks.

[Myrdraxxis]

"We're back." Myrxxan sounded amazed. "How did we live through that?"

"I don't question it." Azzi responded. "But...now what?"

THe members of Vanguard didn't really have a clue what to do. On the one hand, their city was covered in a layer of liquid darkness and looked in real need of repairs....again.

On the other hand, that wasn't their job.

"We should probably check in with the Director." Viper said.

As if summoned, a bright light suddenly enveloped the surrounding area and with a loud bang, dissipated. Standing there were Dace and Sindri, both looking rather exhausted.

"Holy fizz....it worked." Dace said, dropping to his knees. Sindri wasn't quite so dignified and dropped on all fours, kissing the ground...which was an impressive feat for someone with no face.

"I never thought I would miss this place." Sindri exclaimed. "Fizzing Isle Umbra! I had forgotten why I hated that place."

"...Director?" Myrxxan asked. Dace realized that there were others around and stood quickly, composing hismelf.

"Ahem, right...So, what's been happening in...my....absence?" He trailed off, seeing the state that the city was in. He swore. Loudly. "You leave for a few years and look what happens."

"Years?" Azzi asked. "We saw you, like, a few days ago."

"Right, right, uh time travel stuff." Dace "explained" with a shrug.

[Monika]

Aurora looked down at Samuel for a few long, uncomfortable seconds. "My...empire?" she asked. Look at him, kneeling before me like I'm someone important. I don't deserve this kind of respect. She turned to her second-in-command and said, "Chancellor Awesome, do you mind if these three stay here in Awesome Land?"

"Hmm?" Chancellor Awesome stepped back for a moment, shocked that his opinion was actually being considered. Moreover, he was actually being asked for it. "Well, that isn't exactly my decision to make." After a brief pause in which it was made clear that Aurora wanted a real answer, he added, "But these seem to be the heroic type. They certainly can't be any worse than other people you've let inside. A certain Immortal of Darkness comes to mind..."

Aurora nodded. "Fine. As my last official act as the leader of this nation, I hereby grant you, Samuel, Blanche, and Daar Lorra, permanent asylum here, as well as full Awesome Land citizenship if you so desire."

"Wait, what did you just say, Aurora?"

"Chancellor Awesome, please do me a favor and gather everyone around the Imperial Tower. Meet me at the balcony on the top floor once you're done." Without waiting for a response, Aurora teleported her way to the top of the Second Imperial Tower, Leon's gargantuan Shadow Wraith still patrolling the area.

A bit concerned about what was going to happen (but not one to disobey orders), Chancellor Awesome pointed his finger up into the sky. Beams of light came from the direction of Awesome Land's four elemental pillars and met in the sky where the chancellor pointed, merging to form the symbol of Awesome Land: two crossed swords. The beacon above the tower attracted everyone in the country to the surrounding area. After a suitable crowd had formed, Chancellor Awesome made his way to the balcony of the Imperial Tower.

"Thanks for making it here, Chancellor," Aurora said as Chancellor Awesome walked up behind her.

"Aurora, if you don't mind my asking, what exactly is going on?" His voice was laden with concern, and he was practically trembling underneath his armor from anxiety.

Aurora grabbed her Imperial Scepter and spoke into it like a microphone, amplifying her voice for everyone in the country to hear. "People of Awesome Land! As I am sure you all know, our planet was recently threatened by a cosmic disaster known as the Black Nova. If you will look into the sky, however, you will see that there is no such threat any longer. Because of the efforts of some very brave people, that threat was neutralized. There are many we can thank for this victory. Stella, Blanche, Azzi, Cale...The list goes on and on. You can thank anyone who looks even remotely out of place here; the combined efforts of all these strange characters saved our world from total destruction. Everyone was a huge help...Everyone except me."

The crowd, which had been cheering for the heroes, suddenly became quiet.

Aurora exhaled deeply and continued, her voice quavering as she spoke the next few words. "You see, my citizens, I am the one responsible for that disaster. I am the one who set our city ablaze, blamed it on our court jester, and caused him to run off into space to create the Black Nova. While I would like to simply issue an apology and put this behind us, I have found that these are not isolated incidents. Last year, my recklessness in choosing a lieutenant allowed her, Laurine, to usurp the throne and instigate a war that left hundreds of thousands of innocent people dead. This year, when I tried to throw a carnival to celebrate our victory over her, I caused things to get out of hand, resulting in a number of casualties - civilian and otherwise - that could have been avoided. Even now, during what should be a joyous celebration of the end of the Black Nova, a shadowy liquid threatens to plunge the country into the Null-Void because of my poor judgment and irresponsibility."

Tears were flowing down Aurora's face now, and her voice could barely contain her emotions, but she forced herself to keep speaking. "I went to one of our colonies, Special Land, a little while ago, and I'll never forget the words that one of their guards said to me. He said, 'as long as Awesome Land continues to be exchanged from one corrupt, dark-hearted, iron-fisted tyrant to the next, the smaller countries will never stand a chance.' I tried to gloss over it at the time, but after a run-in with our former court jester, I understand just how true those words are. I am am no better than any of my predecessors and, in many ways, I am even worse. They, at least, would have admitted to being evil. I have regularly brought about the same atrocities, all while pretending to be the better person. To have done what I have done in my time as Grand Imperatrix and not to recognize it as evil...That is as evil as it gets."

Aurora grabbed the arm of Chancellor Awesome, who had been trying to slip away quietly, and pulled him up to the front of the balcony, right next to her. "When I first came back to Awesome Land after escaping Draterran, I thought that I was going to take over and be a better ruler than my brother ever was. I realize now that nothing could have been further from the truth. If I stay in office, my naivete and foolhardiness will continue to pose a threat not only to my people, but to the people of the surrounding nations. I am not ready to lead this country. For this reason, I hereby abdicate my claim to the throne, and assign the title and all associated rights, privileges, and responsibilities of 'Grand Imperator of the Awesome Land Empire' to the man who stands at my side, just as he always has: Chancellor...No. Emperor Awesome."

Aurora knelt before her now former second-in-command and presented him with her Imperial Scepter, the official symbol of the sovereign of Awesome Land.

"A-Aurora!" The newly christened Emperor Awesome took the staff with both hands, almost considering handing it right back. "Are you sure about this?"

Tears still running down her face, Aurora nodded. "Haven't been more sure of anything in my life. I know you'll take good care of this place."

Emperor Awesome nodded, raising the Imperial Scepter high into the air for all to see, eliciting a roar of applause from the crowd.

"Now, there's just one thing left for me to do." Aurora produced an ordinary wireless microphone from her robe pocket and spoke. "Shadow Fiends! Your very presence threatens to consume what was once my empire. I request that you please leave this place, and seal the strange Null-Void portal from whence you came. I know that you only obey my brother, but I've discovered that I am more like him than I had originally thought..."

The titanic Shadow Wraith inside the tower roared his compliance and, after saying a few words in some incomprehensible tongue, psychically moved the all-consuming liquid darkness back into the portal from which Leon had generated it. The darkness was followed by a few more Shadow Fiends and finally by the Shadow Wraith itself. It did not seal the portal, however, having sensed Aurora's intentions. She slowly walked up to the portal and put one foot through it.

Emperor Awesome turned away from the crowd just in time to see his former commander trying to escape. "Aurora! What are you doing? Where are you going? You're not actually about to follow those demons into that Null portal, are you?"

Aurora turned toward him and laughed. "It wouldn't do for any vestiges of the old empire to stick around while you're in charge," she said warmly. "Call it exploring or soul searching or whatever makes you feel better. As for me? I just don't think I was banished long enough." With a final salute to the ruler of Awesome Land, Aurora jumped into the Null-Void portal Leon had created, which was sealed immediately afterward.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Meanwhile, back in front of the Really Cool Palace...

Galro and Scern had played a number of songs for their loyal fans, all from famous Bob-Earth bands like Nickelback, Linkin Park, Dragonforce...If it was rock or metal of debatable quality, you can be sure that they played it up on stage that day.

"Alright!" Scern called out to the crowd. "It’s been a wild night, you guys, but it's time for me and Galro to play our last song!"

The masses erupted into a chorus of dissent before being abruptly silenced by the Immortal of Metal.

"Calm down, guys and gals! I promise we'll have another one of these concerts...if the royals are willing to have us." He turned toward the VIP section and winked at Sarah and Julia. "Now sit back and relax, everybody. This last song is probably one of the most popular songs in my favorite alternate dimension right now, and I spiced it up
by giving it a little rock flavor! And Galro's going to be singing this one!"

The crowd began to whisper amongst themselves. Thus far, the main vocals had been handled solely by Scern, with Galro providing backup when needed. Just why was Scern deciding to let his partner take the lead for their last song? And, more importantly, how was it going to sound?

Scern lowered his voice so that only Galro could hear. "Are you ready for this?"

Galro scowled. "You know I haven't gotten full control over Llenchi's powers yet!" he hissed. "Why are you making me do this? Can't we just play-"

Scern shook his head. "Come on, Galro. Don't be such a wet blanket. It'll be fine." He adjusted a few knobs on his guitar. "Besides. I'm gonna start playing the song whether you join in or not. If you don't sing, then we'll both look silly."

"I hate you...so much..." Galro muttered.

"I'll take it!" Without another word, Scern began to strum a few surprisingly soft notes on his guitar.

"Ah..." Galro closed his eyes, drew in a deep breath, and stretched his arms forward. As he exhaled, light snow fell over Really Cool Land.

"The snow glows white on the mountain tonight
Not a footprint to be seen
A kingdom of isolation
And it looks like I'm the king..."

Galro's voice was soft and smooth as he sang, a distinct (though not unwelcome) difference from the raspy rock growl Scern had been using in the previous songs.

"The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside
Couldn't keep it in, heaven knows I tried..."

On cue, the wind picked up and the snowfall grew heavier, cloaking the palace, the trees, and the ground in a blanket of white. Artemis took it upon herself to erect a space bubble around the crowd from which they could see Galro's performance without suffering from the chilly side effects.

Rather than take the time to describe the entire scene, I'll just say that Galro recreated the entire Let It Go sequence from Disney's Frozen, right down to the very last snowflake. By the end of the act, Galro had managed to create a glorious icy palace right next to the one Really Cool Land already had.

"I dedicate this palace to the three women who made this all possible: Artemis, Julia, and Sarah!" Galro shouted from the palace's roof, blowing (completely non-threatening) kisses to all of them. "I hope you all enjoyed the concert! Thank you and good night!" He jumped back down to the stage and bowed along with Scern, whipping the crowd into a frenzy. In the ensuing chaos, the two Immortals somehow managed to slip away from the crowd unnoticed and made their way toward Artemis, elevating themselves to her location through pillars of their respective elements.

"Well," Scern said, grinning from ear to ear.

"A deal's a deal," Galro sighed. "Tell us what we need to do for this Council of yours and we'll do it."

Artemis dissolved her spatial barrier and nodded. "Thank you for keeping your end of the bargain."

"Did you expect us to go back on our word, Miss Artemis?" Galro asked, mildly offended.

"Yes," she said simply. "First, I need to find the Immortals of Lightning, Earth, Wood, and Darkness. After that, I am to meet Knox in Awesome Land at the crash site of Super Land. You all are welcome to stay there until I bring the rest of the Immortals."

"I think we'll just accompany you, Miss Artemis..." Galro laughed, trying to refrain from drooling again.

Artemis raised an eyebrow, assessing the probability that she was about to be attacked again.

Sensing the concern on her face, Scern explained, "I think what Galro is saying is that if the other Immortals give you even half the trouble that we did, you'll probably need all the help you can get." He leaned in closer to Artemis and whispered, "Don't worry, Galro usually doesn't try to attack the same girl twice. Usually."

[Mizagium]

Samuel, Blanche, and Daar Lorra had kept to the fringes of the crowd during Aurora’s speech. While it was certainly moving, they hadn’t known her long enough to feel one way or the other. But when she stepped through the portal, all three of them turned away.

“We still get to stay, right?” Daar Lorra asked.

Sam shrugged. “She said we could.”

“Aurora keeps her word,” Blanche snapped. “And Emperor Awesome isn’t going to take back anything she did.”

Daar and Sam shared a look. “I guess you did know her best.”

The sun had come out, revealing a rather beautiful, if partially destroyed Dynasty City. The black nova was no longer visible in the sky, and neither was the shadow wraith.

Unsettled by the calm, Sam asked, “So where should we go?”

“Here’s a good place.” Blanche motioned to the city.

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure.”

Daar Lorra wasn’t impressed. “Doesn’t this city, like, get destroyed more often than not? I thought the idea was to retire from crazy things like that?”

“It’s a good place with good people. Yeah, crazy people, but…good people.”

Unwilling to argue with the uncharacteristically meditative Blanche, Samuel and Daar Lorra made to follow her into the city, when Daar stopped him. “Aren’t you forgetting some stuff?” She pointed to where he had left his mask, goggles, and swords.

“Yeah. Right.” As he retrieved them, he heard a strange beeping sound. The UFO that had previously followed Stella around approached him cautiously. He stepped towards it, but it lurched backward, nervously. “What the…?”

“That’s the UFO that was following Stella around before,” Daar Lorra informed him. The UFO seemed to shrink away even more at the sight of this newcomer.

“It’s ok,” he soothed with a chuckle. “I’m a friend. A friend of Stella’s.” It stopped retreating. “Are you looking for her? I’m sorry, but she…she’s gone. You can come with us, if you like.”

It hesitated, beeped a few times when Blanche turned around, and started to follow the three of them as they went off into Dynasty City in search of a new home.

Their search didn’t last very long. They managed to find an apartment for rent (and they took space-cash!) and set up there, thankful that the place came pre-furnished. Although he would have liked to put it off, Samuel decided examining the UFO now was better than later. The wounds were fresh, but he’d rather not reopen them later.

The contraption was, well, a stereotypical UFO shape. Of course there was no pilot (unless you count a surprisingly advanced AI), but the machine appeared to mostly consist of a series of compartments. Most were empty, although they appeared much, much more spacious inside than would have reasonably been expected. Two compartments were occupied entire by neon-colored kunai and shuriken, respectively. Another was occupied by a stuffed lawlasaurus, which Samuel decided to remove and place in the living room. The second-to-last compartment he opened dumped a pile of hard, small, white objects onto his lap.

“Are these…human teeth?” he examined a few, groaned and shut the compartment, but left what teeth had spilled out on the floor.

When he opened the final compartment, he wasn’t sure quite what he expected at that point, but it sure wasn’t a head (thankfully still attached to a body) to roll out. The man was haggard looking, and clearly suffering from some severe mental trauma

“Hor ordle durr?” he asked of Samuel.

Very calmly, Samuel, shut the compartment, stood up, and walked away. Blanche and Daar Lorra needed to see this. Blanche might even be able to make sense of it.

…

Daar Lorra knocked on the frame of what would become Blanche’s room. “Hey, can we talk?”

“Sure.” Blanche had claimed the bed as her own and hadn’t moved since.

But the other woman couldn’t cross the threshold. “Look, I just…it’s way too late, but I…I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

Daar sighed and approached. “For a lot of things. Mostly Sam.”

Blanche shook her head. “No. It’s fine.”

“No, it isn’t. It was pretty shitty of me.”

“I was going to break it off with him soon anyway.”

“Well, I still…” She took a seat in a chair that wasn’t exactly facing the space ninja, but was close enough. “I know that look, Blanche.”

“What look?” Blanche stared dejectedly at the patterns in the decades-old bedspread.

“That one. The one I used to see in the mirror for months after the Crusaders broke up. You shouldn’t blame yourself. I know you’re going to, but you shouldn’t.”

“I completely failed her, Daar.”

“Ok, first off, we completely failed her. I was in the mech battle, too.”

“You know why I was even here to begin with? I was sent to kill her.”

“So was I.”

“And I almost went through with it.”

“So did I.”

Blanche looked at Daar Lorra for the first time since entering the apartment. Whatever she saw made her turn away again. Somewhere else in the apartment, something spilled, numerous and hard. Samuel said something, but they couldn’t make it out.

“I don’t want to fight with you, Blanche.”

“Huh?”

“I’ve spent that last several years just being angry with you – and I don’t even remember why. I don’t want to be that way anymore. So I figure, if we’re living together again, we might as well…start off neutral.”

The women shared a long look before Blanche said, “I’m not going to fight with you, either. I just would rather everything that’s happened up to now…”

“I understand.” Daar Lorra stood abruptly to leave, but upon giving Blanche one more worried gaze, sat back down, in the bed this time, next to her. “I know how you felt about her.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I liked her a lot, too. I still haven’t fully gotten that she’s gone.”

“Maybe Sam’s right,” Blanche said with a dark laugh. “That we have some weird obsession with Stella.” She leaned against Daar Lorra and rested her head on her shoulder. “But she was my best friend since I was…I don’t even remember.”

“And she brought all the Crusaders together,” Daar added. “I mean, not to say you weren’t important, but just – “

“No, I know. She had that charisma…the heart.”

“You know, she’s probably still alive. If she’s off fighting Cixer, then chances are she didn’t die in that…whatever that whole black nova mess was.”

“Yeah.”

“Still hurts.”

“Yeah.” Blanche sat up and faced Daar Lorra. “Thanks for coming in. I think…I think we can start over.” She forced a smile. It felt good.

Daar Lorra couldn’t help but return the smile. “Awesome.”

Neither realized that they kissed until they pulled apart. Daar Lorra’s jaw hung open and Blanche’s hands went up to cover her mouth, both women’s’ eyes wide in shock.

“Ahem.” Samuel stood in the doorway, eyebrows raised. They knew he’d seen the whole thing. But he just smiled and said, “You know what it’s not that important. I’ll come back later.” He left without waiting for an explanation. He really was glad.

…

The bar he found was curiously out of place. It had the look of a place that had been shaken up and transported from one place to another. He failed to notice the sign that read “The Space Ninja” outside, too distracted by the fact that the wait staff was entirely composed of badgers. A large portrait of a man completely covered in gold armor, clutching his crotch, hung on every wall.

As he nursed a drink, a young man in a blue hoodie, gray pants, and no shoes sat down on his right. “Oh thank Seraphina,” he declared. “Someone who isn’t a badger.”

“Yeah, what’s up with that?”

“I’m not sure.” The young man had white hair and his pupils looked like they had bits of crystal raining down in them. “But they have a good selection. You have the look of a man drinking to forget.”

“Yeah, you might say that.” The other man made a face that invited an explanation. “Well, it’s a long story, but the short version is I walked in on my ex-girlfriends making out.”

“With whom?” But the stare Samuel gave him made him say, “Oh. Oh! Ohhhhh…yeah, you need another.” He signaled to the badgertender. “Name’s Llenchi. Something of an ice mage.”

“I’m Moon…Samuel Anarr. Or Sam. Whichever.” They shook hands.

“And who’s the, uh, fellow with you?”

Samuel turned and said. “Says his name is Virgil. Would you believe I found him stuffed inside a UFO?”

“That’s not even the weirdest thing I’ve heard today.”

They shared a laugh and toasted.

-

Julia wiped a single tear away at the conclusion of the final song. “Marvelous! Simply marvelous. You know, Sarah, I just might have these boys play at my next garden party.”

Sarah stood up and made for the door. “What kind of garden parties do you have, Auntie?”

Julia only winked and followed her niece down to where Artemis, Scern, and Galro were speaking. She practically ran to Artemis’ side. “Artemis! That was so – And you two! You were great! Everyone loved it (and I made a killing toward paying off that debt). You’re all welcome back in Really Cool Land anytime.”

Julia studied her nails. “Let’s not be too hasty, dear.”

“Do you have to leave so soon?”

-

[ok, I lied. There won’t be a Knox or Cloud Land post here because FUCK those require more thought than I’m willing to put in at 3 am]

[Mizagium]

Knox’s teleport dropped them in a large, vaulted hall he didn’t recognize. For a long moment, he swiveled his head this way and that, before giving Ollie a confused look.

“Don’t give me that,” she snapped. “I didn’t bring us here. I don’t even know where we’re supposed to be.”

“Actually, neither do I,” he admitted. “But I followed Vespi’s energy signature to…wait…are we in Random World again?” He never got his question answered, as a door materialized behind them.

Ollie snorted. “I like that I’ve reached a point in my life where suddenly materializing doors is actually rather comforting for how normal that seems.”

Knox knocked and was answered by a curt, “What do you want?”

“Friendly as ever, I see,” he said as he opened the door – but stopped short when a jet of flame nearly melted his foot.

“What are you doing here?” Vespi appeared from around a giant rock-like…thing, tall and curvy, draped in robes the colors of flame.

“I just wanted to ask you – “ More fire cut him off.

“You do not get to ask me anything. Leave!”

“Vespi, this is about – “ He had to jump out of the way of a fireball she hurled at him. “Easy with that!”

She descended to his level on jets of flame she conjured from her hands, landing rather gracefully despite the heat. “I’ve told you to leave. Do not make me repeat myself.”

“I’m not leaving until I’ve –“ He dodged the fire again. “- told you about –“ fire near his head “-Artemis and I’s plan!”

“Who’s Artemis?” Vespi asked rather calmly, in between hurling fire at the Time Keeper.

“The Immortal – of Space! We had this – idea to – make a – WOULD YOU STOP THAT?”

“No.” Pools of liquid fire formed all over the floor like land mines. “Step carefully.”

“Vespi, enough. This is childish.”

“Is it?” She advanced on him like a wildfire, seizing him buy the collar and slamming him into the wall. “Considering you’re the reason someone I cared deeply about is dead, I think I’m behaving rather calmly.” The hood of her robes had fallen away, revealing long, flowing hair that had since become living flame. As had her robes.

Ollie whistled. “Very nice effect, Ms….Vespi was it?”

“Thank you. Who are you?”

“Ollie.”

“Pleasure.” She smiled amiably at her then turned back to Knox. “Who is she? Some other poor girl about to have their life ruing because of you?”

Ollie thurst out her hands and made a face. “Hey, whoa. No no no no. Not like that. I don’t like broody boys with his level of emotional baggage.”

“Smart. I like her. You tell me what this is all about then before I roast this failure of an Immortal.”

Ollie kinda wanted to see them fight some more, but it wouldn’t stay confined this room for too long. Which means it was going to get awesome! Buuuut a voice in her head advised her differently. This time, anyway. “Look. We’re putting together an Immortal Council for something, I dunno.”

“We?”

“Ye. Oh, I’m the new Light Immortal.”

“Theska’s gone?”

“You knew my grand…him?”

“He was…he tried to help my brothers and sisters and I regain what we lost in our long sleep. We’d forgotten who we were and he tried to help us remember.”

“Did it work?”

“Somewhat. What’s this council for?”

“Protecting the world or some fizz. You know, do-gooder stuff.”

“I see.” She studied Ollie. “Do you support this.”

Hands in her pockets, Ollie shrugged. “I’m new. I don’t even know what I’m doing. So I’m giving a shot. If I don’t like it, I plan on walking away. You can, too. Come in and have a look; leave if you hate it.”

She hesitated only a moment before tossing Knox back towards Ollie. “Fine. I’ll come the Council. But like she said: I have no qualms about leaving.”

Knox picked himself up and straightened his coat. “Torran’s still alive.”

“It isn’t him. Now leave.” She hopped back up to the platform and resumed whatever inspection she had been doing. “I have more important things to do besides hurt you.”

Knox teleported him and Ollie out without a backward glance.

[Myrdraxxis]

“I really hate this forest.”

Roewk sighed for the hundredth time at his companion’s statement. “I know. You’ve said as much almost constantly since we arrived.” His deep voice only barely rising above its usual neutral tone, an indication of just how irritated he was becoming. It was the only indication of his expression, his features were hidden by an heavy hood that shielded most of his face, leaving only his (rather dashing, in his opinion) bearded jaw visible. Most of his form was covered by a simple cloack, hiding the hardwood armor beneath. All in all he’d say he cemented his look as a bad ass druid.

Or a weird nature freak as Noores called him.

“It’s just…there’s nothing here!” His fellow traveler and Immortal, Noores complained. “I can’t get any sort of signal out here and my Uphone is losing its charge.”

In comparison, Noores embraced a more modern and lax appearance, simple jeans and a white hoodie, spiked up blond hair quite visible. The only sign that he was anything more than a simple rambunctious young man were the pitch black sunglasses he wore, that hid his eyes. Or rather, the two super-compressed balls of lightning that served as his eyes.

“You’re the Immortal of Lightning, Noores. You can recharge it just by touching it.” Roewk reminded him, turning his attention back to the trees around them. Noores ‘humphed’ loudly and looked back down at his phone, toying with it for a few moments longer before putting it away with a sigh.

“What are we even doing out here, man?” He asked. Frankly, Roewk was surprised it had taken him this long to work up the question. “I know you’re all big on trees, and embracing nature and shit, but seriously. We’ve been walking around here for hours now.”

“If you paid attention, you’d notice that there was a battle fought here.” Roewk replied. Noores blinked, then glanced around, noticing that yes indeed, there were signs of conflict in the area around them.

“Huh. Cool I guess. So what? People around these parts kick each other around practically all day long. Who cares why there was a fight here.”

Roewek frowned, kneeling down and touching the ground faintly. “It’s not about the why,” he replied, “It’s about the who.” He concentrated and after a moment, jerked away. Noores stared at him in confusion.

“The hell?”

“As I suspected.” Roewk said, shaking his head. “there is the presence of Darkness here.” Noores glanced around again, frowning.

“So, what, Zais was here screwing around? Not exactly a rare sight ya’know.”

“No.” Roewk’s voice was grim. “Older. More foul.” Now Noores’ eyes widened as he realized what that meant.

“Shit. Xavian? That old geezer is still alive? I thought Zais offed him when he took over as the Immortal of Darkness.”

“I had heard rumors saying otherwise, after that war in Dynasty City a few months ago.” Roewk replied. “It would seem they are correct.”

Both Immortals stood there, silent as they processed this. After a moment, Noores spoke.

“Well….fuck. What do we do about it then?”

“I…do not know.” Roewk shook his head. “We wait until we find out more. And hope nothing comes of it.”

---

“Director?” Myrxxan asked. “Uh, I think I’ll just skip the part where I ask what you’ve been doing this whole time, because I doubt it would make any sense.”

“You’re learning!” Azzi gave him an encouraging grin. “Good job!”

“Exactly.” Dace confirmed. He stood, inhaling deeply and then sighing. “Well, that was….an adventure I suppose.” He turned to Sindri who had also recomposed himself. The two stared at each other for a moment, trading studious glares.

“This…changes nothing, Dace.” Sindri spoke first. “Just because you know now, you’re still the one who tried to kill Lord Zais. Don’t think I have forgotten that.”

“Aw shucks ‘Caius’, after all we’ve been through?” Dace said rather sarcastically. “Whatever. I’m done trying to shank your master. For now.”

The two stared for a moment longer before Sindri nodded. “I will take my leave then. Who knows what disaster has befallen the headquarters while I was away.” Witht hat, the Shadow being left.

Dace returned his attention to the members of Vanguard, who looked on silently. “Well….” He began. “From what I can tell here, the Empress is gone, the city is almost fully under Shadow control, there was a weird layer of dark liquid over everything and you’re the only DCI squad still active.” He rubbed his temples. “So I’m pretty sure I’m about to lose my job soon. I think we can all safely say we’re done here.”

Vanguard groaned in unison.

“Well great.” Xaadm muttered. “Now what do we do?”

“Maybe it’s time to split up, guys.” Durzo offered. The others turned to him. He shrugged. “I mean, we did what we set to do right? For better or worse, Dynasty City was founded which is pretty much the best we could hope for in all this chaos.”

“He’s right.” Viper said. “I’ve been kinda getting tired of this place anyhow.”

“So, what you’re leaving?” Myrxxan asked. Viper nodded.

“Konnig and I have been discussing it. We took a break from being mercenaries, but I think it’s time to move on.”

“Sorry boss. It’s been fun though.” Konnig grinned. Myrxxan stared at the both of them for a moment before giving a tired grin.

“Yeah, I suppose it has. Keep in touch, yeah?”

“Of course.” Viper said. The two mercenaries said their goodbyes and left, simple as that. Myrxxan watched them go then turned to Durzo and Xaadm.

“What about you two?”

“I’m sticking around Awesome Land, but I think it’s time to go freelance again.” Durzo replied. “Done enough soldiering and government work to last be…well, two lifetimes.” He smirked at that. “I’ll ee you around Myrxxan. Try not to cause too much trouble.”

“No promises.” Myrxxan muttered. Durzo laughed as he turned and disappeared intot he city.

Xaadm and Myrxxan stood there for a moment. “Well…” Xaadm finaly said. “I guess it’s just you and me again.” The Nobody observed.

[Monika]

"I'm glad you enjoyed the show," Artemis said, giving a slight bow and an even slighter smile. "It's great that we were all able to help out."

"And while we would totally love to stay, we unfortunately have this Immortal stuff to do." Scern shrugged. "I don't quite get it, but we already promised Boss Lady over here." He jerked his thumb toward Artemis.

Galro breathed deeply and added, "But we most certainly will be back. I wouldn't dare leave such beautiful women alone for too long." He managed to stop himself before he started salivating again.

Artemis nodded in agreement. "We will definitely be back. But business comes first."

"Ooh! Before we get down to business, let's take a picture to commemorate this concert!" Scern suggested, withdrawing a Macrosoft^TM brand digital camera from his pocket.

"Marvelous idea, Scern. Come, my lovely ladies. Let us all pose for the camera." Galro delicately grabbed Artemis' hand and put her in between Sarah and Julia, before putting his arm around Julia's shoulder.

"There we go!" Scern had set his camera down on a steel tripod he had summoned from the ground - the perks of being the Immortal of Metal were endless. He ran over to Sarah's side and put his arm around her. "Alright, now on the count of three, everyone smile and say 'Rock on'! One...two...three!"

"Rock on!"

The camera snapped and emitted a bright flash, spitting out a fully developed copy of the photo at each of the people in it. This didn't make sense, of course, since it was a digital camera, but that's Macrosoft^TM for you. They do crazy stuff.^®

"May this day never be forgotten!" Scern shouted.

"A forest," Artemis replied.

Galro nodded and said "Yeah, may this day- wait, what?"

"They're in a forest," Artemis clarified. During the photographing process, she had been using her Spatial Sight technique to scan the areas surrounding Really Cool Land. That would probably explain why her eyes appeared to be glowing in the picture.

"Oh. The next Immortals. You really should work on that brevity thing you've got going on. And how can you be so sure?" Galro raised an eyebrow. "I mean, I don't doubt your power, Miss Artemis, but you found us completely by chance. How is it that you were able to pinpoint the location of the next Immortals?"

"After having been assaulted by the two of you, I noticed that you shared a certain energy signature when you executed your attacks. The metal swords, the water barrier, the ki-" Artemis abruptly cleared her throat before continuing. "Anyway, I hypothesized that all of the concrete Immortals, at least, would have some variation of this signature. Then it was just a matter of scanning the surrounding areas for any trace of the signature."

"She's not good. She's really good!" Scern clapped his hands enthusiastically, marveling at Artemis' impressive use of her abilities.

"Hmph. Let's just go already," Galro muttered. "The sooner we get this over with, the better."

"Right." Artemis summoned a portal in front of them. "After you."

"What?" Galro asked defiantly. "You don't trust us to follow you into the portal?"

"Correct."

Rolling his eyes, Galro strode through the portal, Scern following closely behind him.

Artemis stayed behind for a few moments longer. "I really enjoyed this event," she said, giving one last sweeping glance to the crowd, the stage, and the ice palace. "This was actually kind of...fun. I hope that we can do something like this again." She paused for a moment. "Under more auspicious circumstances, of course. Farewell, Sarah. Julia." With one last nod toward the two, Artemis stepped through the portal into the Great Southern Forest, sealing it behind her.