Awesome Land!: A Rebooted Story

[Monika]

Scern didn't have to be told twice. Almost reflexively, he summoned a small, circular saw blade from his pocket (because any good Immortal of Metal keeps those around). The blade ran across the pizza of its own accord, slicing into eight perfectly even sections, three of which Scern took and shoved in his mouth.

"ISODELISHSHS!!" he yelled, his mouth full of molten dairy goodness.

"Revolting," Galro scoffed, taking his own slice of pizza and further cutting it into a number of bite-sized triangles with an icy knife. He stuck one of his UNMELTABLE ICE NEEDLES^TM into each one, creating an array of hors d'oeuvres suitable for the kind of dinner party you throw to impress your boss and get a promotion. He sat back and admired his work for a few minutes before carefully putting one of the mini-pizzas into his mouth.

As the two ate their food, Artemis carefully regarded the young girl across from her. Having met four of them already, she had grown familiar with the unique concrete Immortal energy signature. "You're definitely her," Artemis said. "The Immortal of Earth. Nice to meet you. I am Artemis, the Immortal of Space. I have invited you to our table to-"

"Man, Artemis, we're at a subpar pizza joint scarfing down delicious grub!" Scern had finally swallowed his pizza, finishing it with a swig from a metal cup that Galro had generously begrudgingly filled with water. "You gotta ask her the fun way! Are you ready Galro?"

"Ready? What in the world are you talking about?" Galro gazed curiously at the Immortal of Metal, who had tossed him a bass guitar.

"Play backup, alright?"

"Backup? What are we-"

Scern took out his own electric guitar and strummed a few notes before jumping on top of a nearby table. "You already know!"

"Ugh..." With a heavy sigh, Galro hung his head low and ashamedly played accompaniment as Scern began to sing:

"Do you wanna join our council?
I think it would be lots of fun.
You shouldn't be here at this pizza shop!
You need to stop!
Just leave and let's be done!

It's time for us to party!
Just you and me...
...and twelve other demigods!

Do you wanna join our council?
If you wanna join our council,
then just nod."

Artemis opened her mouth, almost considering interrupting the two, but she eventually concluded that their way of asking the question was better suited to the location. She noticed that a small crowd had formed outside, eager to see what was going on in the almost-abandoned pizza parlor.

Relishing the fact that an audience had shown up, Galro carried on.

"Do you wanna join our council?
Or stay here sweeping up this dust?
You'll get to go promote diplomacy
and harmony
instead of making crust!"

"You can do that, too," Galro added.

"It's time for some adventure!
Let's save the world!
Wouldn't that be the best?

Do you wanna join our council?
I think that you should join our council.
Please say 'yes!'"

By this time, the crowd had burst into the restaurant and had surrounded the four Immortals, anxiously awaiting Heimrall's response to this most important question. And they were probably hungry...

[Sariel of Tevet]

Heimrall, whose face was buried quite intimately into the deep dish pizza bowl that she had made, wanted to stare confusedly at the impromptu musicians, but decided to keep munching on pizza and think with her head in the bread bowl instead.

Immortal of...Earth? Dude I am like sixteen to seventeen ish or something. I mean I can mess around with dirt and stuff but...a demigod? These lunatics can't handle their pizza. I gotta do something or I'll be in...deep dish trouble...crap. I used that one the other day. Oh well.

The owner walked into the kitchen to check on Heimrall.

"I swear she better not be off on that cell phone again."

He noticed the severe lack of pizza in the oven and walked to the back of the kitchen. He opened the door to the alleyway to see if Heimrall was talking to her bfff again on the phone, but she wasn't there either. He walked back into the kitchen, cupped his hands over his mouth, and yelled for her.

"Hey kid! You get those pizzas out to the customers yet?"

Heimrall took a giant bite out of the bottom of the dish, pulled her head out of the bowl and almost fell backwards out of her chair. After a few chews she mumble yelled back at her boss.

"YES!!!"

[Nel]

Captain Danielle crashed unceremoniously into a large hot room. She tried to stand up but a wave of nausea brought her to knees. While she waited for her head to clear a little, she observed the underbelly of the Octopi Tower. A large conveyor belt? A large cell a little ways away from her? And.....a group of people outside of the cell fighting what she assumed to be octopi, but as her inebriation faded so did her ability to differentiate between humans and octopi. But she recognized some of the humans. Yes, they looked like some of the pirates on her ship: the German ones to be exact. Though they never spoke German of had an accent she was somehow positive of their nationality. She had to help them; they were her crew after all. Pulling herself steadily to her feet, she unsheathed her sword. Damn sea creatures, she thought. Her powers of flight had faded leaving a small headache that she knew would only grow worse, but she had dealt with hangovers before, some worse than this. She could still fight these octopi without a problem. Raising her sword she ran- a little wobbly- with battle cry towards to fighting. As she neared the octopi attacking her crew she began to wildly swing her sword around.

"Do not fear! Your Captain is here!!"

[Monika]

"Excellent!" Scern banished his and Galro's guitars to wherever he had pulled them from and gave a deep bow from atop the table, eliciting a roar of applause from the ever-growing crowd.

"HOORAY!"

"SHE SAID YES!"

"I JUST KNOW THAT THEY'LL BE SO HAPPY ON THIS COUNCIL TOGETHER!"

Scern raised his voice just enough to be heard over the cries of the audience. "It'll be awesome to have you aboard! Now, I'm sure Artemis will whip up a portal for us and we can get straight to business!"

Again, Artemis opened her mouth to say something. A stickler for the truth, she desperately wanted to point out that Heimrall most likely was not responding to Scern's query, but to that of her boss. After a brief internal struggle, Artemis reasoned that she was in no position to turn away from this bit of fortune. And she couldn't just callously dash the hopes of the audience - they had already cheered, and you can't take that back. Scern asked Heimrall to join, Heimrall said 'yes', and that would just have to do. And so, Artemis played along, getting up from the table and summoning a portal in the same location as earlier.

"Well, if that's all settled, we should be off at once. There is one more Immortal we have to find, and tracking him will probably prove to be a challenge. Moreover, this particular Immortal is rather unpredictable, and I have no way of knowing how he will react once we ask him to join." Artemis turned toward Heimrall and smiled. "In any case, you will be a valuable ally in our confrontation with him. You can come with us now," she said, "or we can come back and pick you up once we've secured the last Immortal. After you've dealt with the dinner rush."

No sooner had Artemis said that did the members of the crowd gather around the counter, eager to place some orders.

[Sariel of Tevet]

"I...wait...what?!"

Heimrall uncharacteristically dropped her deep dish bread bowl onto her plate, mouth agape with half chewed pizza crust spilling out.

"I didn't mean yes to you wackos1"

She slammed her fists down onto the table and food went flying out of her mouth all over the place. She did the only comforting thing she could think of, and buried her face into the pizza crust on her plate.

Seriously. What is up with these freaks. I didn't even answer. Ugh.

"Hey kid you gonna take these orders or what? We are swamped! I can't believe it! Where did these people come from?!"

Wait...orders?

Heimrall sat up and saw the masses of people swarming the counter and almost froze.

"Nope, nope. Nooooooooooooooooope. Not doing this. So uh...you said something about a portal? I'm in."

[Monika]

Artemis couldn't help but laugh; the situation had played out all too perfectly. Galro and Scern can actually be pretty helpful...I could almost forgive them for trying to kill me earlier. Almost, she thought. "Right this way." Artemis motioned toward the portal. "This will take us over to Dynasty City. It will be as good a location as any to start our search..." With a deep sigh, Artemis walked through the rift in space.

"Yes, let us leave at once. It is getting far too crowded in here. This place doesn't look like it can handle five customers, let alone fifty." Galro gently pushed his way past a few of the restaurant patrons, resisting the urge to drain some of the cuter ones. "Are you coming, Scern?"

"Yeah, yeah, just a second." Scern had forgotten all about his three companions, too focused on signing autographs. "Mmhmm. Make this one out to Galiana? You don't look like a 'Galiana.' That sounds like a girl's name, and you most definitely have a mustache. It's for someone you know? Aww, that's pretty sweet. Alright, 'To my loyal fan Galiana: Stay Awesome!' Here you go. I hope-"

"Scern!"

"Okay, okay. Don't be such a wet blanket."

"SCERN, I SWEAR I WILL-"

"Alright, let's get outta here, Ms. Earth Immortal. Galro's about to throw a hissy fit." Grabbing Heimrall with one hand and the rest of his pizza with the other, he jumped straight through Artemis' portal, leaving the crowd of fans/customers behind.
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In an instant, Artemis, Galro, Scern, and Heimrall appeared in Dynasty City, about a mile or two outside of the Second Imperial Tower. Artemis noticed that a few people were walking away from the tower's direction, occasionally muttering something about "Aurora" or "abandonment". She made a note to look into what had occurred in Awesome Land while she was away. But that would come later. Now came the final phase of her mission. Closing the portal behind her, Artemis performed a quick sweep of the country with her Spatial Sight technique. "No sign of him," she muttered. "Of course, I didn't expect that there would be. Ah, I suppose Plan B is our only option, short of traveling through every dimension ever documented."

After the last few passersby had left the area, Artemis gave a final sigh, cupped her hands around her mouth, and shouted, "Zais!" She used her spatial magic to augment the range and volume her sound waves could reach, not desiring to strain her vocal cords. "Zais! I don't know where you are, but I know that you're watching us! You have as much surveillance around this country as I do! If you aren't currently preoccupied, I ask that you come here to Dynasty City! I have a request for you!"

"Are...are you alright?" Galro raised an eyebrow at this uncharacteristic behavior. Artemis was normally so quiet. So soft-spoken. Just who was this Zais person to make Artemis act so...differently?

Artemis nodded. "I estimate that this will be the most efficient means of contacting him. Now we just have to wait." She thought back to the last time she had seen Zais face-to-face. It had been right after he killed William and had stood alongside Sarah, ready to fight. That conflict had been resolved before any (more) people could be hurt, but just in case things didn't go so well this time... "Galro?" she added.

"...Yes?" he answered hesitantly.

"Stay on guard."

With a slight nod, Galro readied himself for an attack. Scern followed suit, sealing the rest of his pizza inside a metal box. No sense in letting an innocent pie get caught in the crossfire.

[Myrdraxxis]

"WHO DARES TO SUMMON THE LORD OF DARKNESS?!?!" a loud voice echoed through the mostly empty streets. A shadowy figure appeared, posing intimidatingly.

It wasn't Zais, however.

"I am Ixeel, CHAMPION OF DARKNESS!" The knight declared to the Immortals....and probably the whole world as well with how loud he was projecting. "If you wish to see lord Zais you must schedule an appointment during business hours from 8 to 5 on Weekdays!"

[Monika]

"I should have seen that coming," Artemis remarked, not totally displeased with the fact that one of Zais' servants had shown up instead of the Immortal himself. "Excuse me, Ixeel. This is rather important. We need to speak with Zais immediately regarding the formation of a council of Immortals. While I love protocols as much as the next person, I am afraid that this cannot wait."

"It's a shame that the actual Zais didn't answer," Scern lamented. "I kinda wanted to meet him."

"I'm surprised that anyone answered at all..." Galro kept his guard up, just in case this was all some sort of trap.

[Myrdraxxis]

"One cannot just SPEAK with Lord Zais!" Ixeel declared....loudly. "THe master is very busy with many dark projects. It will take time to-"

"WHO THE HELL IS SHOUTING!"

Ah, there he is. Zais appeared, not in his usual dark regalia, but a set of pajamas and a nightcap bedecked in chibi versions of himself. "SOME PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO SLEEP!"

"I am sorry my lord." Ixeel bowed deeply. "These people demanded to see you immidiately and I was just telling them to leave-"

"eh?" Zais turned and finally noticed Artemis, Scern and Galro. "Oh." He snapped his fingers and his typical outfit appeared after an uncomfortably long transformation sequence with more flashes of nudity than were strictly necessary.

"What can I do for you miss Artemis?" Zais grinned. "Need any more upstart mages diced?"

[Mizagium]

Alarms blared. Fire-suppressant foam deployed. Mayweather Octoritch attempted to eject from the critically failing mech, but somehow that function had been partially damaged, so her seat just sort of juddered up, leaving her elevated above the smoldering wreckage of the only surviving Octomech. A few of her squad were still alive, but their mechs had been damaged when the bridge had been blown out.

“Stop!” She shouted above everything. “Woah, hey enough! We surrender!”

One of her squad shot her a look. “We do?”

“I don’t feel like dying today, not for Landro, anyway.” She gave them a pointed look, and they dropped whatever weapons they had with them.

Uggo blinked a few times before landing and stowing his plasma weapons. “What, just like that?”

Mayweather shrugged and gave her mech a dejected glance. “We’re just mercs, pal. Pays well, but not enough for me to die.” She rested her head on a tentacle. “So what do you plan on doing with us?”

Uggo motioned for the Germans and Danielle to stop. “Well. What’ll it take to get you all to fight with us?”

“Pfff. Quite a lot of money. Why?”

“Well. Turns out my friend is kind of a dick.” He gestured around the ruined facility. “Now, I’m a pirate, so I’m not the best kind of person. But this…”

“Yeah,” Mayweather sighed. “It’s really messed up. You aren’t planning on trying to fight him, are you?”

“Who, Landro?”

“Ye.”

“I was considering the possibility,” Uggo conceded, rubbing the chin of his mask. “Any advice?”

“Don’t. Some Space Land guy is here now. Brought some Star Samurai with him.”

Uggo glanced over, remembering the prisoners, and shot the lock with a quickdraw plasma shot. “Then I think this is where we make our escape.” The former prisoners flocked to their piratical liberator, and began searching for a way out.

Mayweather forced her seat back down and was delighted to find that the mech still mostly functioned. “Grab some scraps,” she ordered her squad. “Hold up, Uggo. We’re coming with you.”

“We are?” The mercenary squad shuffled nervously on their tentacles.

“Where else are going to go? Once Landro figures out these idiots escaped, we’re dead. We’re not getting on any ships, not while the Star Samurai are here. You don’t have to come,” she added. The mech shuddered to life and staggered after Uggo. “But like I said, I ain’t dying.”

-

“Oh, finally!” A rather large woman wearing an insane amount of layers and a thick coating of makeup fanned herself while reclining on a stone bed. “I was wondering when the servants would appear.”

Dresmond Niles narrowed his large Octo-eyes. “You…are aware you’re a prisoner, yes?”

“A prisoner! My word.” She fanned even faster. “I suppose you’re some kind of…torturer, yes?”

“I…what?”

“Just so you know, I don’t break easily.” Was she smiling?

“I…no. Look. I’m letting you go.”

Madame Butterface shifted to her feet and brushed out of the cell as soon as he unlocked it. She was surprisingly light on her feet for being so large. “Well, obviously you are. Such a beautiful woman like myself can never be held prisoner for more than a few minutes before my captirs learn their lesson.”

Dresmond may had thrown up in his mouth a little, seeing her up close. “Just go,” he whispered hoarsely, the acidic taste of bile coating every word. “I owe everything to Landro-sensei, but I don’t know how much longer I stomach his actions. I know we’re trying to survive, but,,,doing this to the humans…it isn’t right.” He turned around, but she was gone. Long gone. Like she hadn’t even heard a single word he’d said.

But he didn’t know that.

“Niles?” one of his Ninjoctopi spoke to him through his earpiece.

“Go ahead.”

“Those other guys that come in are leaving the sewers with some prisoners. What should we…?”

“Let them go. Don’t be seen. I don’t want Takayaki-sensei to know just yet. Put all our attention on monitoring the Star Samurai and Space Ninja.”

“Yes, sir.”

Dresmond glanced around the prison one last time, and disappeared.

[Monika]

Artemis took a deep breath. Keep calm, Artemis. Don't let him get to you. Let's just get this over with. "Ahem. I apologize for disturbing you during your slumber, Zais, but Knox and I are forming a council of Immortals. The three people you see next to me are the Immortals of Water, Metal, and Earth." She pointed to Galro, Scern, and Heimrall respectively.

"Does this country have no rules in place against public nudity?" Galro asked incredulously.

"He's a public official, so he wouldn't be convicted," Artemis responded flatly. "Just look past it and-"

"Look past it?! I was just flashed by the Immortal of Darkness! I might have eternal nightmares, and you want me to look-"

"Enough." Artemis silenced Galro and continued speaking to Zais. "Our council's stated goals are to protect the world and promote diplomacy utilizing the members' immense powers. I am sure that you don't care about any of that, but I ask that you join our council anyway," Artemis said. "For the sake of completion."

[Sariel of Tevet]

Heimrall clenched her pizza crust bowl in her teeth and stared down of her phone.

"Yup, that's going straight to Chirp. My bfff has got to see this."

On her touch screen was an image captured during one of Zais' prolonged and uncomfortable nude flashes. Heimrall uploaded it to her feed and began to type: Immortal of Darkness fresh out of his jammies. What even? #chillinatDynastyCity #Zais #immortalsgonewild #pizza #darkonehastanlines

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand send."

[Myrdraxxis]

"Holy crap just how many Immortals are there anyway?" Zais asked in actual amazement, before shaking his head. "Er, I mean ah I see"

Zais dramatically posed in a thinking position, stroking his chin thoughtfully. And kind of sensually.

"You are correct, Artemis, I really do not care for any of those." He agreed. "However, if there is one thing I cannot stand it is being left out."

"It's true." Ixeel agreed. "Why do you think he's got armies here, in Random WOrld AND in Northyros-"

"They don't need to know about that." Zais glared at his underling. "Anyways, I accept. For now. It will be curious to see how quickly this whole COuncil idea completely falls through."

[Monika]

Artemis took another deep breath. She wanted to make a snide remark, but opted to keep things professional instead. "Thank you, Zais," she answered, although it pained her to do so. "You will be contacted once our meeting begins, though I trust that you will know when that happens. We will be meeting at the ruins of Super Land."

"Awesome! That's the last one of 'em! It'll be a super party now!" Scern summoned his guitar and played a riff to celebrate.

Artemis nodded. "Now, let's go." She summoned a portal in front of her, forcing herself to amicably wave goodbye to Ixeel and Zais as she walked through it. Galro and Scern followed closely behind, taking Heimrall along with them.

The four arrived at the wreckage that was Super Land. Galro grimaced at the sight. The place was rather desolate. Barren, unless you count the stones and glass that had been strewn about. "This is our meeting place? The meeting place you've secured for fourteen demigods?!" he asked incredulously. "I will admit, the locale is...much less glamorous than I would have hoped. Scern and I usually perform in grandiose arenas and luxurious palaces...Not ruins." He frowned as he kicked a pebble, indistinguishable from the millions of other pebbles in the area. "Hmph."

"I dunno. I think it's pretty cool. Kinda ominous. Perfect for some shady council meeting," Scern replied.

Artemis ignored both of them, too focused on scanning the premises. Her eyes fell upon a young girl who was sleeping peacefully on a pile of debris. She recognized the girl to be Knox's traveling companion...but there was no sign of Knox. Was he somehow having more trouble recruiting Immortals than she did? "Ollie?" Artemis gently prodded the Immortal of Light. "Ollie, do you know where Knox is?"

Scern pointed to his guitar. "You want me to play one of my songs? That usually wakes people right up!" he suggested.

Drool poured out from the corner of Galro's mouth. "She's rather adorable in her sleeping, vulnerable state," he said, lightly panting. "If you want, I could suck her-"

Scern shook his head. "Galro, I think that might have the exact opposite effect of what we're trying to accomplish. I'm pretty sure you'd end up putting her into a coma. Or worse."

"Isn't it a kiss that wakes up the girl in those cartoon movies you're always having me watch?" Galro answered. "Just a little one. Shouldn't hurt at all..."

Scern shrugged. "I mean, I'm not gonna stop you. Just don't drink too much. It'd be a shame to start off our council meeting with only thirteen people, especially after all of the trouble we went to get them."

Galro had since stopped paying attention and was now absently walking toward Ollie...

[Calefrun]

Al ran to Gabe, and knelt to check for a pulse. After determining that his friend was still alive, though badly injured, he turned towards Cozaltene. "Rick! Get over here! We need to carry Gabe out of here!" If he heard his friends pleas, the young pirate showed no signs of it. Al rolled his eyes. "Cozaltene get over here! This isn't a game!" Cozaltene shrugged, then walked over and helped lift the unconscious Gabe. Struggling to carry their massive friend, the two began to carry him towards the exit. Seeing Danielle approach, Al called out, "Captain! Gabe's injured!"

[Mizagium]

Meanwhile, seemingly unrelated to everything else in the Hall of Portals...

Ever since the PFG had taken up residence at the center of the multiverse, very few travelers had come through. It was a shame really. Once upon a time, the Hall had been awash with the steady hustle and bustle of millions of interdimensional tourists, business folk, and refugees, but alas, those days were long since gone. Now only an empty infinity remained, populated by uncountable silent portals, and one very fat, very perverted man. But now those days were at an end.

Clack. Clack. The sound of seven-inch stiletto heels (with real blades) striking the polished marble floor echoed throughout the whole structure. Wearing those heels was a very tall, fierce-looking woman dressed in a suit jacket that clung to her bronze skin with staunch defiance of the laws of physics, revealing skin down almost to her navel, making it very apparent she was not wearing anything underneath. Her pants also clung to her skin, showing off more of her leg than should have been possible. The whole thing was a deep maroon, which matched her fiery hair. That is, her hair was made of fire. It cascaded down past her shoulders in cool orange and yellow tones. Piercing green eyes bordered by violet eyeliner flicked back and forth as she walked. Her lips curled into a snarl as he came into view.

"Can't say I like what you've done with the place," she announced to the PFG, who seemed to be taken completely by surprise at her sudden appearance. She noticed. "Miss me?"

He started to say something but she never let him have a the chance. A pit opened up beneath him with a snap of her fingers, a pit of white hot fire that seemed to reach to the center of the planet (if the Hall of Portals was indeed on a planet). He fell in and the opening closed rather unceremoniously.

"There." She kicked at the spot where the portal had been. "You'll be down there for at least 100000000000000 years. Teach you to marry into my family."

This rather attractively scary woman was known far and wide (but not to you, which is why I'm introducing her) as the Hot Demonic Lady, or HDL. Although she resented it, she was also the PFG's sister-in-law. But we aren't going to dwell on that. No, instead we're going to focus on what she's doing to the Hall of Portals. The area beneath her seemed to catch fire. In fact, the floor itself seemed to be transforming into some kind of fire. And it was spreading. Slowly, but surely.

"Orwell!" She shouted and a little man shuffled into view. Rather unimpressive for a demon, Orwell stood just over four feet, but slouched and hunched, making him appear even smaller next to his boss, who was easily over six feet tall. He was dressed in a suit as well, but not nearly as sexy or revealing as the HDL's. In fact, the only reason you'd be able to tell he was a demon was that his skin was of a decidedly bluish hue. And the horns and fangs and such.

"Yes, ma'am?"

"Have you drawn up the appropriate forms?"

"O-o-of course, mistress!" Orwell produced his over-sized suitcase (really it was normal sized, but compared to him...) and began rifling through the numerous papers. HDL sighed and rubbed at the two little horns that had begun to grow on her forehead, wondering how big they might get. "Here w-w-we - you are, ma'am!" He held the paper towards her in a shaky hand for her to snatch up.

"I, the Hot Demonic Lady blah blah blah Hall of Portals blah blah to do whatever I wish blah blah blah blah legally biding...demons...et cetera et cetera and so forth yada yada yada." She rolled her eyes and tossed the paper back towards Orwell, who narrowly managed to catch it before the expanding fire-floor incinerated it.

"Y-y-you really should take these things more seriously," he complained, stuffing the paper back. "A d-d-d-demonic contract isn't something to s-s-s-sneeze at!"

The EDL's hair flared up into red momentarily. "Orwell, honey, that' what I have you for. You're not going to let those nasty demons take advantage of little ol' me, are you?" She put on her best pouty face and leaned forward, offering Orwell a pleasant view.

"O-o-o-of course not, mistress! I-I-I just think that - "

"Wonderful!" She perked back up and started pacing through the Hall, touching the walls every so often, creating a new spot of demonic influence which began its own expansion. "Oh did you look into that other thing, Orwell, dear?"

The diminutive lawyer practically had to run to keep up with his mistress's long strides. "Of c-c-course!" He already had the papers out. "We' s-s-shouldn't run into any legal t-t-trouble with this C-c-clyde fellow or his F-f-f-Fallen Paradise. He's been allowed the appropriate grace period and then some. B-b-but he hasn't submitted a formal request t-t-to the Hell Consortium. I-I-I just received this letter from the Circle of Hell Lords themselves!" He waved another paper (signed in the blood of the innocent) but she didn't even look.

"Ah, Orwell - this is why I hired you." She laughed, showing two full rows of teeth sharp enough to pierce steel. "I thought my plans were dashed when Clyde appeared, but that short-sighted fool just locked himself away and didn't make a peep. But now - "

"Ah, b-b-b-but mistress!" Orwell made the very dangerous mistake of interrupting his boss. "Clyde did manage to make a single soul-contract."

The HDL stopped suddenly. While her face betrayed no emotion, her hair flared up again, passing into the low end of the blue spectrum. Tendrils began dancing like charmed snakes, one drifting a little too close to the demonic lawyer, "Orwell..." she warned.

"Unfortunately, this does ensure the Fallen Paradise's position as a "minor hell" according to the Consortium Charter."

"Orwell..."

"However!" He inched away as more tendrils of fire homed in on him. "Unless Clyde submits a formal request in...five hours ago, the only way his Fallen Paradise will become a True Hell is if he manages to make over one thousand soul-contracts before we do!" He cowered behind his briefcase, so he didn't see the fire recede and the color cool.

"Well, why didn't you say so?" she asked, her voice like liquid darkness. "We'll have that before lunch."

She waited until the Hall of Portals' demonic transformation was a little less patchy before she wove a demonic spell that connected her to all dimensions that the Hall of Portals could access, which is to say, 99.9% of them (but not the Fallen Paradise of course)

"Fiends, Nightmares, fellow Bugaboos! Lend me your ears! I, the Hot Demonic Lady do hereby announce the opening of a new Hell dimension! Tired of your current afterlife under the oppressive thumb of your current Hell Lord? Well, look no further! Join me in Awesome Land, and together we'll create a new kind of eternal torment!"

"Do you really think this will work?" Orwell asked when she was done. "N-n-no one's ever tried to do anything like this before."

As if in answer to his question, a handful of demons of various sizes and shapes (all dressed in suits) staggered out of a few portals. They gave the HDL and Orwell curt nods and set off to work.

"Walk with me, Orwell," she beckoned. As they walked, more and more demons came flooding in. "You see, Orwell. I've been around. All of these demons? I've been in contact with them for years. They all think this will work. They all want this to work. It will work. Despite the Charter, the Hell Lords never dreamed so big. Sure, the various Hells would now have clearly defined boundaries and jurisdictions, but for what? Not stomping on each others' gross ugly toes? Pff. Small. I envision a Consortium that works together."

Orwell glanced around as things began to take shape. "Yes, but...this?"

"Souls power the underworlds, Orwell. Souls feed the underworlds. They're everything. Some are more powerful than others. Some magics require quantity over quality. Plenty of mortal sorcerers need souls for their magics. Plenty of mortals will sell their soul for...well...anything! Don't you see? From here, I can build the largest Hell Empire ever, all without ever interacting with mortals myself. What was that magic number I needed?"

"A th-th-thousand, ma'am."

"Ah yes." A demon with great leathery wings flew by and passed a few papers into her hands, which she glossed over and handed to Orwell. "Have a look."

Orwell stopped dead in his tracks. "B-b-b-but that's impossible! This place hasn't even been operational for a few minutes you already collected over ten thousand soul contracts?!"

"I'm sure the other Hells will catch on in their own time, but by that time I'll have more than enough power to hold them off."

Orwell hadn't noticed, but they had been walking up a steady inclined spiral. Now they had reached the top, where a nice, demonic throne had been erected with plenty of skulls, horns, and a cup holder, of course. From her perch, the HDL could see her frantic empire at work below her. Thousands of demons had arrived now, and many more with passing in and our of portals. Desks and large podiums had been set up, and even more demons were running through the throng, shouting.

"Welcome, Orwell, to the first Hell Soul Exchange."

[Mizagium]

The Wind Immortal waved his hands dismissively. "Ah yes, the Council of Immortals and all that."

"Y-yeah?" Knox looked quizzically at the Immortal of Wind. "How did you know?"

"I hear things on the wind." Abruptly he stood up and discarded his attire, reverting back to the mismatched, patchwork clothing he had been wearing before. "And I'm bored of this persona."

Knox blinked. "Soo...Aeolius...Qualot...?"

"Hmm. Gale will do for now. Nice and simple. No chance of mispelling. No q's in the name...I like it. But these clothes..." He gave himself a studious spin. "What do you think?"

Knox shrugged. "They're certainly...uh...interesting."

"Hm. Well, consider me signed up for the Council. Where should we meet?"

"Super Land. We're uh, resurrecting it."

Gale snorted. "Suits me just fine. Very well. I'll be there for the opening ceremonies. But I must find a new outfit for then." He disappeared in a whirlwind, leaving Knox alone and a little befuddled.

"Alright..." Then he, too, warped out, arriving back where he had left Ollie.

Ollie didn't notice him at first, quickly jumping awake to explode a handful of light bursts in Galro's face. "If you wanted a nibble," she told the Water Immortal. "All you had to was ask." She flashed him a wry smile before Knox coughed loudly.

"Qualot...er...Aeolius...er...Gale is in. He'll be along shortly. He's...changing."

"Sweet." Ollie spun on her heels and rejoined Knox, but not before winking back at Galro.

Knox frowned at her but spoke to Artemis. "That's all of us, isn't it?"

[Monika]

Galro jumped back from the bursts of light and glared at Ollie for a moment before answering, "I'll try to be a bit more polite in my advances next time."

"I would have expected the Immortal of Time to get here before I did," Artemis replied. "I hope you didn't have too much trouble recruiting your group. In any case, I have successfully recruited the Immortals of Water, Metal, Lightning, Wood, Earth, and Darkness. If you have gotten your five - Fire, Air, Knowledge, Order, and Chaos, plus Ollie here - then we are set to begin."

"You know, I still have my reservations about having our headquarters in a place like this." Galro held his arms out to his side to indicate the pile of refuse that was their meeting place. "Honestly. Who owns this place? Why would they let it fall into such disarray? It's abysmal!"

Artemis sighed. "Exercise a little patience. We will be restoring these ruins to their former splendor momentarily. They are - or were - a floating island owned by the government of Super Land until an incident sent them crashing down here. Some time before that, they were annexed by...Awesome Land." She trailed off. "I have to go. I'll be right back."

"But Knox just got back! I thought we were gonna start the Council stuff now. Is everything okay?" Scern asked.

Artemis waved her hand dismissively and opened a portal in front of her. "Permission," she answered simply, before disappearing into the portal, closing it behind her.
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Artemis reappeared at the top floor of the Second Imperial Tower. To her surprise (almost), the person who held the Imperial Scepter and sat upon the lavish throne was not Aurora Veralice, but instead her chancellor. "I take it that Her Imperial Majesty is not here today, Chancellor?"

"Emperor, please. It is rather impolite to show up in the throne room unannounced, but I will make every effort to be as hospitable as my predecessor. Please, sit down." Emperor Awesome pointed toward the sofa across from him.

Artemis gave a slight bow and took a seat across from the emperor. "My apologies, Emperor Awesome. I did not realize that-"

He waved his hand dismissively. "Think nothing of it. I was merely having a little fun at your expense. I take it that you were not in town when Aurora gave her speech?"

"No," came Artemis' reply. She almost felt ashamed that she missed what was obviously a very important speech - the last one of the former empress, no less - to deal with Galro's and Scern's concert. Almost.

"I see. Well, a number of recent occurrences caused Aurora to feel that she was no longer fit to serve the empire, so she passed the role to me. I tried to protest, but she has always been a stubborn one. I personally don't think that recent events are entirely her fault. I could name a number of parties that are truly responsible and should be...Well, anyway." Emperor Awesome gave a deep sigh. "I'm sure you had some purpose in coming here besides listening to me ramble about personal issues."

Artemis nodded. "I do not believe we have had a proper introduction. I am Artemis, the Immortal of Space." She offered her hand to the emperor, who gently shook it with his own. "The other thirteen Immortals and I were interested in starting a council to promote diplomacy and peace."

"Ah, that's good. It's nice to see someone trying to protect this world. Although I could think of at least one among your group who has no concern for anyone's well-being." The emperor scowled from behind his helmet.

Artemis had the feeling that she knew exactly whom Emperor Awesome was referring to. Opting not to voice her own opinion on the person, she continued. "In an effort to keep the council as neutral an organization as possible, we would like to meet in an area that has few ties to any sovereign body. To this end, we have decided to use what was originally Super Land as our headquarters."

"The floating island? Or, rather, the island that was floating and is now a pile of rubble?"

"Correct. We will, of course, be restoring the island, putting it back in the sky, and clearing up any remaining wreckage."

"I see. The power of you Immortals is tremendous, isn't it?" Emperor Awesome asked. When he didn't get a response, he went on. "Well, I appreciate your coming to me first, Artemis. You are aware that Super Land was officially annexed under Grand Imperatrix Laurine during that war some time ago."

"Yes. That is why I came to speak with you."

"Hmm. Aurora didn't actually undo any of the things that Laurine did, so I can only assume that she wanted to keep areas like Super Land and Special Land under the banner of our empire. Having just taken over for her, I don't think I could possibly give away any of her territories. It wouldn't feel...right."

Artemis merely looked at him. She hadn't prepared any compelling arguments for why they should be given free reign over the island. She didn't feel like she had to. She was sure that Emperor Awesome would come to the proper decision in his own time.

Emperor Awesome steepled his fingers and sighed, thinking for what felt like an eternity. "I loved Aurora as any loyal subject of the empire would...but I am resolved to be a far better ruler than she ever was. She left me in charge because she thought I would take good care of the empire. And I will. As it stands, Super Land serves only as a detriment to Awesome Land. It is uninhabitable and is taking up valuable land underneath. If I reject your proposal, then the mess most likely will not be cleaned up anytime soon. And I certainly won't be earning any brownie points with the council of demigods."

Artemis smiled, very slightly, but said nothing.

"On the other hand, I can accept your proposal, be rid of that awful crash site, and directly assist the promotion of peace and diplomacy...while also giving away an entire country. There has to be some way to mitigate that very, very significant cost..." Emperor Awesome rose from his seat and began pacing the floor of the throne room. After a while, he stopped abruptly and exclaimed "Aha!"

"Have you come to a decision, Emperor?" Artemis asked.

"I believe I have. A decision that will satisfy both of us. Super Land will nominally remain a part of the Awesome Land empire, but all matters of its governance will fall directly to your council. I will not interfere in any way unless it is to ensure the safety and security of Awesome Land proper. In exchange for being granted exclusive control over the area, you will return it to the skies, clear any and all debris underneath, and take care of one additional matter for me."

"And what matter might that be?"

"Do you recall earlier when I mentioned that I thought there were a few individuals aside from Aurora who were responsible for the events that led to her resignation?"

Her interest was piqued now, but she answered with a guarded, "I do."

"There are two in particular I had in mind, and I am sure you are familiar with both of them. The first is Zais. Honestly, I've never liked him, and I have made no secret of that fact. He is an undeniably evil, homicidal maniac, a fact that he has never made a secret of, yet Aurora always dismissed my concerns and made him our Minister of Homeland Security! Aside from some quasi-legal spying on the entire country, at any given point in time he's got his own personal forces occupying the land. It doesn't take a psychic to tell that he's preparing to take control of Awesome Land and add it to his own transdimensional empire. Additionally, he's responsible in some way for a number of crimes, including the recent murder of one William Cauldwell, for which he apparently never stood trial. While I am hesitant to reverse any of Aurora's decisions, this is one I simply cannot let stand. Zais is henceforth fired from his position as Minister of Homeland Security and loses any privileges, powers, and responsibilities thereof."

Artemis nodded in what was perhaps agreement with Emperor Awesome's assessment of Zais as insane, or merely in acknowledgment of the Immortal's crimes. She had her own issues with him, of course, but kept her voice neutral and answered, "And the other person?"

"The second is Leon Veralice, the first Emperor of Awesome Land and the Interim Grand Imperator while Aurora was away. He left the empire in shambles and covered the land in Shadow Fiends - injuring who knows how many people in the process - merely to get back at his sister. Unbelievably irresponsible!" He stamped the Imperial Scepter on the ground in anger, sending tremors throughout the entire tower. "Moreover, I've been looking into various records, and he poses a threat not only to our country, but to several others as well. He stole the Masamune from Super Land, the Beauty Mirror from Really Cool Land, has killed an uncountable number of civilians, and that doesn't even include all the crimes he's committed in other dimensions! He is an unbelievable danger, and his actions directly led to Aurora's breakdown and departure! She was so distraught with the state in which he left the empire that she banished herself to the Null-Void!"

"I see. How exactly may I help you, Emperor?"

"Tell me, Artemis, do you have a formal position in the empire?"

"I do not."

"Good, good." Emperor Awesome walked over to a chest and removed a badge that had the Awesome Land insignia on it. Handing it to Artemis, he said, "You are now officially granted Zais' former position: Minister of Homeland Security. In exchange for my blessing of your council and permission to use Super Land as your headquarters, I want you to secure our homeland by taking care of the two of them. Zais, Immortal of Darkness, and Leon Veralice, interdimensional criminal, are charged with and convicted of high treason. There will be no trial. You are hereby authorized to detain both of them by any. Means. Necessary." He slid his finger across his throat as if his point weren't already clear. "My apologies in advance if your council eventually ends up one member short. Am I understood?"

Artemis calmly took the badge and placed it inside her robe pocket. "Understood, Emperor Awesome. Both threats shall be dealt with as soon as possible."

Emperor Awesome smiled. "Excellent. There's a bit of paperwork I'll have to fill out regarding Super Land, but you are free to go and do with it as you please immediately. I'll be giving my inaugural speech soon, so try to make it back here before then if you can."

Artemis gave the emperor a polite nod. "I will. Thank you, Emperor Awesome."

"No. Thank you, Artemis. And good luck."

With a final bow and wave goodbye, Artemis disappeared from the throne room and reappeared at the ruins of Super Land next to the other Immortals.
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Scern was the first to ask the question that was probably on everyone's minds. "So...What was that all about?"

"Nothing," Artemis answered. Ignoring the rest of them, she turned to Knox and asked, "Shall we begin?"

[Mizagium]

Knox nodded to Artemis. "Yes. It feels as if this gathering of Immortals has taken months, instead of the hours that it really did. But yes, I believe it is time."

Ollie crossed her arms and went over to where Galro and Scern waited. "You know," she said to them. "Being ignored seems to be a thing with these two, eh?"

Knox raised his hands and summoned as much of his power as he could. "I don't know about putting this island back up in the air - whatever magic sustained it appears to have fled - but I can certainly put it all back together."

And so he could. A shimmering aura overtook the wreckage accompanied by a deep rumble of stone and wood and time itself shuddering to obey the whims of the Immortal of Time. He didn't quite remember what the place looked like before, so he couldn't say how successful his Temporal Reversal was, but...the place knew. Super Land remembered how it was at the height of its power. So all he had to do was provide the flow of time and let the pieces fall into play.

Some minutes later, he released the power and staggered down to one knee. Even time travel didn't exhaust him like this had. Panting, he stared up at the island of Super Land and couldn't help but feel proud. And then relieved that his time powers didn't bring back the dead.

"So..." he glanced over at Artemis. "How about getting this bad boy back up, eh?"

[Monika]

Artemis nodded. "I think I should be able to handle that." She pulled back her robe sleeves, outstretched her hands, and closed her eyes. "There is one skill in particular that should fall under the domain of Space. I've never done this before, and it will take a lot of effort...but it's nothing I can't accomplish." Artemis took a deep breath and when she opened her eyes again they were no longer their normal shade of pale blue, but instead a bright, glowing white. "Secret Technique: Gravitational Control!"

As if on cue, the entire island slowly began to rise into the air. Gravity itself, the force that had brought the island crashing into the ground without remorse, was now relenting to the will of the Immortal of Space. She wove her fingers into a number of intricate patterns, manipulating the field of gravity around them. Her left hand maintained the force, keeping the buildings on the island rooted to their foundations, while her right hand suspended the force, propelling Super Land back into the sky.

When it was a suitable distance away from the earth, Artemis clasped her hands together and shouted, "Secret Technique: Gravitational Stasis!" At once, the unique gravitational alterations that allowed an island of Super Land's size to stay in the sky while holding everything upon it in place were made permanent. As long as Artemis stayed alive, their new country wasn't going anywhere.

Satisfied with her work, Artemis collapsed onto the ground next to Knox and gave him a thumbs-up. "Mission...accomplished."

Scern laughed at Ollie's remark. "Being ignored is something you get used to. They're a lot more serious about this thing than I'll ever be, that's for sure." He peered down over the edge of Super Land, just barely able to make out Awesome Land below. Then he surveyed his surroundings and marveled at Knox's handiwork, unable to grasp how he could turn a pile of rubble into something so...beautiful. He turned back to Ollie and laughed. "And a heck of a lot more powerful, too."